Gilligan's Island (1964–1992): Season 2, Episode 12 - Don't Bug the Mosquitoes - full transcript
The rock band 'The Mosquitoes' arrive on the island for some much-needed R&R. But the castaways try to make their lives miserable so they'll want to leave--and take them with them.
♪ just sit right back
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started from
this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ five passengers
set sail that day ♪
♪ for a three-hour tour ♪
♪ a three-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
♪ the weather
started getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship's aground
on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire ♪
♪ and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Tune ends]
D.j.: Today,
cats and kittens,
on the Sam riddle show
on bozz radio,
we're featuring the music
of america's number one
rock 'n' roll group
the mosquitoes.
[New tune]
Gilligan,
will you stop that?
What a grouch.
Aah!
Oh, gilligan,
you've had it. Now will
you get out of here?
Ohh...
[Music flowing through]
Thurston, do you
think we're having
a nightmare?
Together,
with our eyes open?
Even Sigmund Freud never
dreamt of rock 'n' roll.
I wonder what it could be.
Oh, some Tom-damn fool
playing the radio loud at...
8:00 in the morning!
Uhh!
First, I'll break the radio.
And then I'll kill gilligan.
No! I'll kill gilligan,
and then I'll break
the radio!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
I sorely miss
the sweet sounds
of civilization.
But there's one sound
that I don't miss,
and that's the ya-ya-ya
the mosquitoes.
Now turn off that infernal
machine at once.
It's a matter of taste,
Mr. Howell.
Erhh!
Matter of taste?
If you want to taste
that radio...
Turn it off!
It's off.
Well, I said
turn it off!
It's off! It's off!
It is off.
[Music continues playing]
Where's that music
coming from?
The lagoon!
The lagoon.
Lagoon.
Maybe.
[Helicopter]
Don't look now, but I think
we're surrounded by savages.
Savages? Man, the savages
record for safari records.
Boy, are we glad
to see you!
Yeah! I can't
believe it!
We've been
rescued!
I can't believe it,
either.
It's the mosquitoes,
my favorite
musical group.
I thought you said
we were gonna get away
from our fans.
Yeah. You said
this island was deserted
and we'd be all alone.
How would I know
it was inhabited?
That helicopter pilot
told me this place
was out of sight.
We must be way out.
Get a load of these
characters.
Allow me to
introduce myself.
I'm thurston howell III,
millionaire,
personal advisor to
the bolshoi ballet,
and Lawrence Welk.
You, sir, look like
Attila the hun
or a Yale man.
Allow me to
introduce my group.
You don't have to do that.
Everyone knows the mosquitoes.
That's bingo, bango,
bongo, and Irving.
Irving? Well,
never mind.
Look, I'm the skipper
of the s.S. Minnow.
And we've been
shipwrecked here
for a long, long time.
We've been waiting for
somebody like yourselves
to come along and rescue us!
Well, I'll tell you
what we'll do,
commodore.
If your group
will cooperate
with the mosquitoes,
we'll get you off
the island.
Good heavens.
If we had to be
rescued by musicians,
why couldn't it
have been the New York
philharmonic?
Really, your trousers.
So that's what's happened
to our civilization
since we've been gone.
Yeah. They're
the mosquitoes.
I had a collection
of all their albums.
Ah, worthwhile hobby,
nature boy.
Interesting.
Very, very interesting.
Whatever they are.
I'll see you later,
gilligan.
Yeah, professor.
Mary Ann: Ginger, come on!
Aah! Thank you! Ohh!
Please!
No physical contact.
Oh, ginger,
hurry up!
Hey, who is this ginger,
Mrs. Money bags?
No. That's Mrs. Howell.
Ginger is, well...
She's kinda like, well...
She's kinda like a girl.
You know, she's kinda...
What's going on?
Like you said.
Ginger's a girl.
I'll get Mrs. Howell.
Oh, welcome
to the island.
They are cute.
And will you look
at that hair?
Bingo?
How would you like
to run your fingers
through that?
Fingers? I can go way
up to my elbows.
Please!
Back, back.
Bingo.
Just don't handle
the merchandise, huh?
One of them's tall,
and one of them's short.
One of them's blond,
and one of them's dark.
Yeah, smorgasbord.
Down, girls, down.
Peace and quiet.
That's all we wanted,
peace and quiet.
We came here to get away
from girls.
Oh, there you are.
Thurston said you
needed haircuts.
Split, man.
It's the barber
of Seville!
Skipper. Skipper, have I
got some good news for you.
It's certainly a good day
for it, gilligan.
The mosquitoes is gonna
give us just what
we've been waiting for.
You bet,
a nice trip home.
No. Guess again.
Guess again?
They're gonna give us
a concert.
Concert?
But who wants
a concert now?
We wanna go home.
Shall I go tell 'em?
Uh, no.
Wait a minute.
Maybe you better not
tell 'em.
We don't want to
get them upset.
We'll listen to
their concert, and
then we'll go home.
I bet we're the luckiest
people alive.
We certainly are.
We're finally
being rescued!
No. I mean about the mosquitoes
giving us a concert.
Oh, well,
certainly, yes.
Let me help you.
Aah!
Oh, I just adore
concerts.
I do wish the mosquitoes
would stop tuning up
and start the music.
They have stopped tuning up.
That is the music.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear, thurston.
Then we'd
better hurry.
They probably won't
seat us in the middle
of the first act.
Come on, darling.
I wish we could be
that lucky,
that we wouldn't be
seated at all.
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ please just let me be ♪
♪ ah... ♪
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ let my heart be free ♪
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ please just let me be ♪
♪ girl ♪
aah!
Yay!
1, 2, 3.
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ pay no mind to what
he's saying ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ he's got rocks
in both his ears ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ he can't win, place,
or show ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ and you know how much I
hate to say I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
aah!
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ trouble follows
in his tracks ♪
♪ that man, he's bad news ♪
♪ let him go,
don't call him back ♪
♪ he's a bad case
of the blues ♪
♪ blues ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ call him anything
you choose ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ any breaks he gets,
he'll lose ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ always stop when he says go ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ and you know how much I hate
to say I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
aah!
Well, that's it
for tonight.
Well, I tell ya,
you've been a good group.
And, uh, we're sure our next
month here on the island
is just gonna be too much.
Thanks. Goodnight.
Did he say
another month?
Don't they realize
we'll miss
the opera season?
I'm all packed.
What are you
smiling at,
Mr. Howell?
What's wrong,
thurston darling?
He's been looking
that way throughout
the concert.
Maybe there's
more to this
tuneless discord
than I can
comprehend.
Maybe he developed an ear
for rock 'n' roll?
Oh, he's got
his earplugs in.
Thurston,
take them out.
Take them out!
The concert's over,
dear.
Oh! Oh, the concert's--
wonderful! Marvelous!
Just absolutely
thrilling. Encore.
Here's something
you'll get a thrill
out of.
We're gonna be here
for another month!
Yeah.
And they'll probably
give concert
after concert
after concert.
Oh, good heavens,
my earplugs.
[The mosquitoes on radio]
♪ trouble follows
in his... ♪
skipper,
are you sleeping?
I didn't even doze,
gilligan.
I'm still listening
to the music.
Yeah, so am I.
Isn't it wild?
Wild?
I think it's really great
they're gonna be here
a whole month.
Do you realize how much
that would cost to see
them that often?
Gilligan, I hope
I never get that rich.
That would be
a very great plan
if you wanted to stay
here on the island.
Certainly, little buddy.
I'll walk around on tippy toes.
That's why they came
to the island, to find
peace and quiet.
And if they don't get it,
they may as well go back
to the states.
Never mind, gilligan.
That's it.
That's it!
Gilligan, you've done it
again, little buddy!
Oh, that's great.
I did it again!
What did I do?
The mosquitoes!
The mosquitoes?
Aah!
Aah!
What was that?
I don't know.
What's happening?
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
It's so groovy!
I have to have
a souvenir!
Hey! My guitar!
Ohh!
Ohh!
What have you done
to my guitar?
Oh, I want a picture!
I want that.
Help!
That's enough
for now, girls.
You've had your fun.
Doc, give us a hand.
Oh, later.
Oh, Mr. Bongo,
I'd like to conduct
an experiment.
Now these electrodes
will test your brainwaves
when you play.
Oh, no! You're not
gonna make any
Frankenstein out of me!
It won't hurt.
It'll just take a moment.
Here's the one
I like.
The strong,
silent type.
Yiikes!
Come on, Irving,
you're my guy!
Oh, come on.
Oh, boy, a party.
Will you hold
these coconuts
for me, please?
Do what?
Aah!
[Overlapping
chatter]
Aah!
This is ridiculous!
[Overlapping chatter]
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
As your new manager,
I have something to say.
Oh, no, not you, too?
I have plans for you
really, really,
really, really big.
Concerts,
one-night stands,
movies, television--
that does it!
I mean it.
That really does it.
We're leaving tomorrow!
Come on, fellas,
let's get out of here.
Did you hear
what they said?
We're leaving
tomorrow!
Aah!
We're leaving
tomorrow!
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
Hurry up, gilligan.
Hey, bingo, bango!
We're ready to leave!
Hey, bongo!
Irving!
Irving doesn't--
well, at least
he could pluck.
Is anybody home?
Oh, no!
Gilligan, they've gone.
They've gone without us!
But they couldn't.
They just couldn't.
Mr. Howell,
they have.
Couldn't what,
darling?
The mosquitoes couldn't leave
the island without us.
Well, of course
they couldn't.
They already have.
They did?
Ohh! Well, in that case,
there's only one thing
left to do.
Get ready, thurston.
Yes, dear.
Hey! Hey! Have you
seen the autograph
that bango gave me?
See the "x," see?
Yes, we've seen it,
gilligan.
I must admit that I
underestimated the reaction
that would set in.
Oh, professor,
we should have kept
an eye on them.
You just don't
understand them, skipper.
They're a high-strung
nervous type.
They being sensitive
musicians--
never mind that,
gilligan.
[Pleasant music plays]
Gilligan, will you
turn that radio off?
What radio?
It's not around here,
skipper.
Well, how come
I hear music?
They didn't go.
W-We've still
got a chance
of being rescued!
I'll go check!
No, gilligan!
Hey! Oh! Oh!
Boy, are we glad
to see you!
We thought you left
the island without us.
Give the word, bingo.
The word!
Now, look, fellas.
We're the friendly type,
you know.
And we'd like to remain
the friendly type.
But we need rest!
We can't help it
if we're your fans.
Fans?!
The word, bingo,
the word.
You don't want
to do it?
Alright, men,
now hear this.
We're not splitting
from this island
for 2 months.
2 months?!
Each of them.
Maybe longer.
That crazy scene last night
wound us up tighter than
Presley's pants.
But, uh, fellas,
you are gonna take us
with you, aren't ya?
Yeah. When we
give the word,
then we'll all
move out.
That sounds fair.
Aaaah!
Don't go away!
Don't go away
from me!
Waaa!
Irving!
I'll fashion your hair
with these nail scissors.
And please take
Delilah with you!
[The mosquitoes rehearsing]
You got any queens?
Be there.
Fish!
I can't stand it
any longer, gilligan.
That music is driving me
crazy!
Yes. Too much,
isn't it?
It's called
I want to go back
to pago pago pago,
yeah, yeah, yeah,
with you.
2 months.
In 2 months, gilligan,
I'm going from
a deserted island
to an isolation ward!
Padded cell.
They're gonna have to--
did we wake you up,
Mr. Howell?
No. I was only half asleep.
I lost one of my earplugs.
Did any of you happen
to find it?
No! We haven't seen it.
Maybe one of
the mosquitoes
found it.
I'm afraid to ask them.
They're so touchy.
That's it.
What's the matter,
skipper?
Supposing we do stay on
our side of the island
and mind our own business
for 2 months,
how do we know they're not
gonna change their minds?
They disappeared once before.
They'd probably go off
without us again.
Good grief, you're right.
The mosquitoes might
buzz off without us.
They wouldn't
do that.
Oh, gilligan,
for goodness sakes,
we're not dealing
with regular people.
We're dealing with musicians.
They have a world
of their own.
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
Show people just
like show people.
By George, gilligan!
You have done it again!
Oh, boy,
I did it again!
I sure wish I knew
what I keep doing.
Do you think it'll work?
I'm sure it will.
All headliners want
an opening act
that'll make 'em
look good.
That's right, ginger.
I mean we'll get up an act,
we'll rehearse with them
and everything,
and then we'll make them
look so good
that they're bound
to take us with them.
What act?
Who? How?
Well, you three.
You're gonna sing
together.
Wait, wait.
What about the professor?
Well, him, too!
You mean we'll have
our own singing group?
Uh-huh.
This is almost too much.
I'm in show biz!
I'll be forever excluded
from the Harvard club.
Oh, the pants look
great! How's it feel?
Like alligator skin,
on an alligator.
It had to be tight.
All the musicians
wear them like that.
So they can do
the watusi while
they're playing.
The watusi? I can hardly
walk around in them.
Oh, great.
Come on.
It's really great.
Come on.
Alright,
I'll try it, but i--
no. I'd better not.
Oh, gilligan, I got
your wig all ready.
What do you know?
Instant hair.
Put it on, darling.
How do I look?
Oh, it looks
just perfect!
Except for one thing.
You need a haircut.
Oh! No,
Mrs. Howell, no.
But he does need
a haircut. His bangs
are too long.
Be careful.
Excuse me, Mrs. Howell.
Here are the drums.
Now I have to work
on the guitars.
Here are
the sticks.
Whoo!
Oh, boy!
Now, see if you
can play the drum
and watusi
at the same time.
Come on.
Great!
Whoops!
[Rip]
[Gasps]
1, 2, 2, 3,
4, 5.
[Singing off-key,
lyrics unintelligible]
Yay!
Skipper, all we need
is a little more practice.
Oh, gilligan,
the mosquitoes
thought we were awful!
Oh, boy. A little bit
of criticism
and you fall apart.
You can't start
from the top you know.
I'll start from the top
of your head
and put you in the ground
like a thumbtack!
Remember,
the show must go on.
Gilligan, will you
please be quiet?
I'm trying to think
of another plan.
Won't you try it
just once more?
You just don't seem
to understand,
do ya?
No! No! No!
You got it, skipper,
but it goes,
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah... ♪
yeah...
Hey, ginger.
Huh?
You're in show biz.
Tell me honestly,
how were we?
Gilligan, that act
couldn't get booked
on devil's island.
What if we picked
a new song?
I don't know
how to put this,
but, um,
you were terrible.
Boy, for somebody who
doesn't know how to put it...
I'm sorry, but--
I mean, you--
my grandmother always
used to say,
"never criticize anybody else
unless you can do better
yourself."
That's it!
That's it! You've
done it again! Oh!
I don't know what I'm doing,
but I sure as heck
keep doing it.
Now, a trio with a really,
really big future,
the girls with
a new sound,
and here they are...
The honeybees.
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ like a clam
needs a shell ♪
♪ like a prisoner
needs a cell ♪
♪ like a ding-dong ♪
♪ needs a bell ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a picture
needs a star ♪
♪ like a golfer
needs a par ♪
♪ like teenagers,
ooh, ooh ♪
♪ need a car ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a baby needs a toy ♪
♪ like Hawaiians
need their poi ♪
♪ like a girl needs ♪
♪ needs a boy ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a diamond
needs a ring ♪
♪ like a harp
needs a string ♪
♪ like a queen ♪
♪ needs a king ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ like a bee
needs its buzz ♪
♪ like a peach
needs its fuzz ♪
♪ so that's why ♪
♪ you need ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ bzzzz ♪
yay!
Bravo!
Yay!
[Humming]
Wow. Thanks for
the autograph, girls.
I tried to get
Mrs. Howell's,
but Mr. Howell was
charging a dollar
apiece for 'em.
Gilligan, will you
finish packing?
I can hardly wait till
we get back to our car.
We're double-parked,
you know.
Oh, yes, and we left
the engine running.
Come on, let's go
find the mosquitoes.
Okay.
Hold it. You can all
just start to unpack.
Unpack? What do
you mean unpack?
The mosquitoes
left us a message.
A message?
They can
write?
Apparently.
"Hi, gang.
"Me and the boys--
me and the boys
"decided to take off
this morning
"when the helicopter
came by with provisions.
As for the honeybees..."
As for the honeybees?
"As for the honeybees,
you're good, gals,
"but just a little
too good, and we've got
enough competition.
"But so there wouldn't
be any hard feelings,
we left a gift for you."
A gift?
Oh, I love presents.
Never mind that,
gilligan. We--
well, what is it?
Open it up!
I'm trying to,
skipper.
An album?!
Yeah. The mosquitoes
at carnegie hall.
Is that all?
Well, now what do you think
of your mosquitoes?
You're absolutely right.
It was a terrible thing
to do...
Leaving us with an album.
They didn't even
autograph it.
Gilligan!
Ohh!
If the world is lucky,
we'll never get rescued.
♪ now this is the tale
of our castaways ♪
♪ they're here for
a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no phone ♪
♪ no light ♪
♪ no motor cars ♪
♪ not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from seven
stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle! ♪
and you'll hear a tale ♪
♪ a tale of a fateful trip ♪
♪ that started from
this tropic port ♪
♪ aboard this tiny ship ♪
♪ the mate was
a mighty sailin' man ♪
♪ the skipper brave and sure ♪
♪ five passengers
set sail that day ♪
♪ for a three-hour tour ♪
♪ a three-hour tour ♪
[thunder]
♪ the weather
started getting rough ♪
♪ the tiny ship was tossed ♪
♪ if not for the courage
of the fearless crew ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the minnow would be lost ♪
♪ the ship's aground
on the shore of this
uncharted desert isle ♪
♪ with gilligan ♪
♪ the skipper, too ♪
♪ the millionaire ♪
♪ and his wife ♪
♪ the movie star ♪
♪ the professor and Mary Ann ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle ♪
[Tune ends]
D.j.: Today,
cats and kittens,
on the Sam riddle show
on bozz radio,
we're featuring the music
of america's number one
rock 'n' roll group
the mosquitoes.
[New tune]
Gilligan,
will you stop that?
What a grouch.
Aah!
Oh, gilligan,
you've had it. Now will
you get out of here?
Ohh...
[Music flowing through]
Thurston, do you
think we're having
a nightmare?
Together,
with our eyes open?
Even Sigmund Freud never
dreamt of rock 'n' roll.
I wonder what it could be.
Oh, some Tom-damn fool
playing the radio loud at...
8:00 in the morning!
Uhh!
First, I'll break the radio.
And then I'll kill gilligan.
No! I'll kill gilligan,
and then I'll break
the radio!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
Gilligan!
I sorely miss
the sweet sounds
of civilization.
But there's one sound
that I don't miss,
and that's the ya-ya-ya
the mosquitoes.
Now turn off that infernal
machine at once.
It's a matter of taste,
Mr. Howell.
Erhh!
Matter of taste?
If you want to taste
that radio...
Turn it off!
It's off.
Well, I said
turn it off!
It's off! It's off!
It is off.
[Music continues playing]
Where's that music
coming from?
The lagoon!
The lagoon.
Lagoon.
Maybe.
[Helicopter]
Don't look now, but I think
we're surrounded by savages.
Savages? Man, the savages
record for safari records.
Boy, are we glad
to see you!
Yeah! I can't
believe it!
We've been
rescued!
I can't believe it,
either.
It's the mosquitoes,
my favorite
musical group.
I thought you said
we were gonna get away
from our fans.
Yeah. You said
this island was deserted
and we'd be all alone.
How would I know
it was inhabited?
That helicopter pilot
told me this place
was out of sight.
We must be way out.
Get a load of these
characters.
Allow me to
introduce myself.
I'm thurston howell III,
millionaire,
personal advisor to
the bolshoi ballet,
and Lawrence Welk.
You, sir, look like
Attila the hun
or a Yale man.
Allow me to
introduce my group.
You don't have to do that.
Everyone knows the mosquitoes.
That's bingo, bango,
bongo, and Irving.
Irving? Well,
never mind.
Look, I'm the skipper
of the s.S. Minnow.
And we've been
shipwrecked here
for a long, long time.
We've been waiting for
somebody like yourselves
to come along and rescue us!
Well, I'll tell you
what we'll do,
commodore.
If your group
will cooperate
with the mosquitoes,
we'll get you off
the island.
Good heavens.
If we had to be
rescued by musicians,
why couldn't it
have been the New York
philharmonic?
Really, your trousers.
So that's what's happened
to our civilization
since we've been gone.
Yeah. They're
the mosquitoes.
I had a collection
of all their albums.
Ah, worthwhile hobby,
nature boy.
Interesting.
Very, very interesting.
Whatever they are.
I'll see you later,
gilligan.
Yeah, professor.
Mary Ann: Ginger, come on!
Aah! Thank you! Ohh!
Please!
No physical contact.
Oh, ginger,
hurry up!
Hey, who is this ginger,
Mrs. Money bags?
No. That's Mrs. Howell.
Ginger is, well...
She's kinda like, well...
She's kinda like a girl.
You know, she's kinda...
What's going on?
Like you said.
Ginger's a girl.
I'll get Mrs. Howell.
Oh, welcome
to the island.
They are cute.
And will you look
at that hair?
Bingo?
How would you like
to run your fingers
through that?
Fingers? I can go way
up to my elbows.
Please!
Back, back.
Bingo.
Just don't handle
the merchandise, huh?
One of them's tall,
and one of them's short.
One of them's blond,
and one of them's dark.
Yeah, smorgasbord.
Down, girls, down.
Peace and quiet.
That's all we wanted,
peace and quiet.
We came here to get away
from girls.
Oh, there you are.
Thurston said you
needed haircuts.
Split, man.
It's the barber
of Seville!
Skipper. Skipper, have I
got some good news for you.
It's certainly a good day
for it, gilligan.
The mosquitoes is gonna
give us just what
we've been waiting for.
You bet,
a nice trip home.
No. Guess again.
Guess again?
They're gonna give us
a concert.
Concert?
But who wants
a concert now?
We wanna go home.
Shall I go tell 'em?
Uh, no.
Wait a minute.
Maybe you better not
tell 'em.
We don't want to
get them upset.
We'll listen to
their concert, and
then we'll go home.
I bet we're the luckiest
people alive.
We certainly are.
We're finally
being rescued!
No. I mean about the mosquitoes
giving us a concert.
Oh, well,
certainly, yes.
Let me help you.
Aah!
Oh, I just adore
concerts.
I do wish the mosquitoes
would stop tuning up
and start the music.
They have stopped tuning up.
That is the music.
Oh, dear.
Oh, dear, thurston.
Then we'd
better hurry.
They probably won't
seat us in the middle
of the first act.
Come on, darling.
I wish we could be
that lucky,
that we wouldn't be
seated at all.
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ please just let me be ♪
♪ ah... ♪
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ let my heart be free ♪
♪ don't bug me ♪
♪ please just let me be ♪
♪ girl ♪
aah!
Yay!
1, 2, 3.
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ pay no mind to what
he's saying ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ he's got rocks
in both his ears ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ he can't win, place,
or show ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ and you know how much I
hate to say I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
aah!
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ trouble follows
in his tracks ♪
♪ that man, he's bad news ♪
♪ let him go,
don't call him back ♪
♪ he's a bad case
of the blues ♪
♪ blues ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ call him anything
you choose ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ any breaks he gets,
he'll lose ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ always stop when he says go ♪
♪ he's a loser ♪
♪ and you know how much I hate
to say I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
♪ but I told you so ♪
aah!
Well, that's it
for tonight.
Well, I tell ya,
you've been a good group.
And, uh, we're sure our next
month here on the island
is just gonna be too much.
Thanks. Goodnight.
Did he say
another month?
Don't they realize
we'll miss
the opera season?
I'm all packed.
What are you
smiling at,
Mr. Howell?
What's wrong,
thurston darling?
He's been looking
that way throughout
the concert.
Maybe there's
more to this
tuneless discord
than I can
comprehend.
Maybe he developed an ear
for rock 'n' roll?
Oh, he's got
his earplugs in.
Thurston,
take them out.
Take them out!
The concert's over,
dear.
Oh! Oh, the concert's--
wonderful! Marvelous!
Just absolutely
thrilling. Encore.
Here's something
you'll get a thrill
out of.
We're gonna be here
for another month!
Yeah.
And they'll probably
give concert
after concert
after concert.
Oh, good heavens,
my earplugs.
[The mosquitoes on radio]
♪ trouble follows
in his... ♪
skipper,
are you sleeping?
I didn't even doze,
gilligan.
I'm still listening
to the music.
Yeah, so am I.
Isn't it wild?
Wild?
I think it's really great
they're gonna be here
a whole month.
Do you realize how much
that would cost to see
them that often?
Gilligan, I hope
I never get that rich.
That would be
a very great plan
if you wanted to stay
here on the island.
Certainly, little buddy.
I'll walk around on tippy toes.
That's why they came
to the island, to find
peace and quiet.
And if they don't get it,
they may as well go back
to the states.
Never mind, gilligan.
That's it.
That's it!
Gilligan, you've done it
again, little buddy!
Oh, that's great.
I did it again!
What did I do?
The mosquitoes!
The mosquitoes?
Aah!
Aah!
What was that?
I don't know.
What's happening?
Ohh!
Ohh!
Ohh!
It's so groovy!
I have to have
a souvenir!
Hey! My guitar!
Ohh!
Ohh!
What have you done
to my guitar?
Oh, I want a picture!
I want that.
Help!
That's enough
for now, girls.
You've had your fun.
Doc, give us a hand.
Oh, later.
Oh, Mr. Bongo,
I'd like to conduct
an experiment.
Now these electrodes
will test your brainwaves
when you play.
Oh, no! You're not
gonna make any
Frankenstein out of me!
It won't hurt.
It'll just take a moment.
Here's the one
I like.
The strong,
silent type.
Yiikes!
Come on, Irving,
you're my guy!
Oh, come on.
Oh, boy, a party.
Will you hold
these coconuts
for me, please?
Do what?
Aah!
[Overlapping
chatter]
Aah!
This is ridiculous!
[Overlapping chatter]
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
As your new manager,
I have something to say.
Oh, no, not you, too?
I have plans for you
really, really,
really, really big.
Concerts,
one-night stands,
movies, television--
that does it!
I mean it.
That really does it.
We're leaving tomorrow!
Come on, fellas,
let's get out of here.
Did you hear
what they said?
We're leaving
tomorrow!
Aah!
We're leaving
tomorrow!
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
♪ we're leaving tomorrow,
we're leaving tomorrow ♪
Hurry up, gilligan.
Hey, bingo, bango!
We're ready to leave!
Hey, bongo!
Irving!
Irving doesn't--
well, at least
he could pluck.
Is anybody home?
Oh, no!
Gilligan, they've gone.
They've gone without us!
But they couldn't.
They just couldn't.
Mr. Howell,
they have.
Couldn't what,
darling?
The mosquitoes couldn't leave
the island without us.
Well, of course
they couldn't.
They already have.
They did?
Ohh! Well, in that case,
there's only one thing
left to do.
Get ready, thurston.
Yes, dear.
Hey! Hey! Have you
seen the autograph
that bango gave me?
See the "x," see?
Yes, we've seen it,
gilligan.
I must admit that I
underestimated the reaction
that would set in.
Oh, professor,
we should have kept
an eye on them.
You just don't
understand them, skipper.
They're a high-strung
nervous type.
They being sensitive
musicians--
never mind that,
gilligan.
[Pleasant music plays]
Gilligan, will you
turn that radio off?
What radio?
It's not around here,
skipper.
Well, how come
I hear music?
They didn't go.
W-We've still
got a chance
of being rescued!
I'll go check!
No, gilligan!
Hey! Oh! Oh!
Boy, are we glad
to see you!
We thought you left
the island without us.
Give the word, bingo.
The word!
Now, look, fellas.
We're the friendly type,
you know.
And we'd like to remain
the friendly type.
But we need rest!
We can't help it
if we're your fans.
Fans?!
The word, bingo,
the word.
You don't want
to do it?
Alright, men,
now hear this.
We're not splitting
from this island
for 2 months.
2 months?!
Each of them.
Maybe longer.
That crazy scene last night
wound us up tighter than
Presley's pants.
But, uh, fellas,
you are gonna take us
with you, aren't ya?
Yeah. When we
give the word,
then we'll all
move out.
That sounds fair.
Aaaah!
Don't go away!
Don't go away
from me!
Waaa!
Irving!
I'll fashion your hair
with these nail scissors.
And please take
Delilah with you!
[The mosquitoes rehearsing]
You got any queens?
Be there.
Fish!
I can't stand it
any longer, gilligan.
That music is driving me
crazy!
Yes. Too much,
isn't it?
It's called
I want to go back
to pago pago pago,
yeah, yeah, yeah,
with you.
2 months.
In 2 months, gilligan,
I'm going from
a deserted island
to an isolation ward!
Padded cell.
They're gonna have to--
did we wake you up,
Mr. Howell?
No. I was only half asleep.
I lost one of my earplugs.
Did any of you happen
to find it?
No! We haven't seen it.
Maybe one of
the mosquitoes
found it.
I'm afraid to ask them.
They're so touchy.
That's it.
What's the matter,
skipper?
Supposing we do stay on
our side of the island
and mind our own business
for 2 months,
how do we know they're not
gonna change their minds?
They disappeared once before.
They'd probably go off
without us again.
Good grief, you're right.
The mosquitoes might
buzz off without us.
They wouldn't
do that.
Oh, gilligan,
for goodness sakes,
we're not dealing
with regular people.
We're dealing with musicians.
They have a world
of their own.
Yeah, I guess
you're right.
Show people just
like show people.
By George, gilligan!
You have done it again!
Oh, boy,
I did it again!
I sure wish I knew
what I keep doing.
Do you think it'll work?
I'm sure it will.
All headliners want
an opening act
that'll make 'em
look good.
That's right, ginger.
I mean we'll get up an act,
we'll rehearse with them
and everything,
and then we'll make them
look so good
that they're bound
to take us with them.
What act?
Who? How?
Well, you three.
You're gonna sing
together.
Wait, wait.
What about the professor?
Well, him, too!
You mean we'll have
our own singing group?
Uh-huh.
This is almost too much.
I'm in show biz!
I'll be forever excluded
from the Harvard club.
Oh, the pants look
great! How's it feel?
Like alligator skin,
on an alligator.
It had to be tight.
All the musicians
wear them like that.
So they can do
the watusi while
they're playing.
The watusi? I can hardly
walk around in them.
Oh, great.
Come on.
It's really great.
Come on.
Alright,
I'll try it, but i--
no. I'd better not.
Oh, gilligan, I got
your wig all ready.
What do you know?
Instant hair.
Put it on, darling.
How do I look?
Oh, it looks
just perfect!
Except for one thing.
You need a haircut.
Oh! No,
Mrs. Howell, no.
But he does need
a haircut. His bangs
are too long.
Be careful.
Excuse me, Mrs. Howell.
Here are the drums.
Now I have to work
on the guitars.
Here are
the sticks.
Whoo!
Oh, boy!
Now, see if you
can play the drum
and watusi
at the same time.
Come on.
Great!
Whoops!
[Rip]
[Gasps]
1, 2, 2, 3,
4, 5.
[Singing off-key,
lyrics unintelligible]
Yay!
Skipper, all we need
is a little more practice.
Oh, gilligan,
the mosquitoes
thought we were awful!
Oh, boy. A little bit
of criticism
and you fall apart.
You can't start
from the top you know.
I'll start from the top
of your head
and put you in the ground
like a thumbtack!
Remember,
the show must go on.
Gilligan, will you
please be quiet?
I'm trying to think
of another plan.
Won't you try it
just once more?
You just don't seem
to understand,
do ya?
No! No! No!
You got it, skipper,
but it goes,
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
♪ yeah, yeah... ♪
yeah...
Hey, ginger.
Huh?
You're in show biz.
Tell me honestly,
how were we?
Gilligan, that act
couldn't get booked
on devil's island.
What if we picked
a new song?
I don't know
how to put this,
but, um,
you were terrible.
Boy, for somebody who
doesn't know how to put it...
I'm sorry, but--
I mean, you--
my grandmother always
used to say,
"never criticize anybody else
unless you can do better
yourself."
That's it!
That's it! You've
done it again! Oh!
I don't know what I'm doing,
but I sure as heck
keep doing it.
Now, a trio with a really,
really big future,
the girls with
a new sound,
and here they are...
The honeybees.
Yay!
Yay!
Yay!
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ like a clam
needs a shell ♪
♪ like a prisoner
needs a cell ♪
♪ like a ding-dong ♪
♪ needs a bell ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a picture
needs a star ♪
♪ like a golfer
needs a par ♪
♪ like teenagers,
ooh, ooh ♪
♪ need a car ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a baby needs a toy ♪
♪ like Hawaiians
need their poi ♪
♪ like a girl needs ♪
♪ needs a boy ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ like a diamond
needs a ring ♪
♪ like a harp
needs a string ♪
♪ like a queen ♪
♪ needs a king ♪
♪ you need me ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ like a bee
needs its buzz ♪
♪ like a peach
needs its fuzz ♪
♪ so that's why ♪
♪ you need ♪
♪ you need us ♪
♪ bzzzz ♪
yay!
Bravo!
Yay!
[Humming]
Wow. Thanks for
the autograph, girls.
I tried to get
Mrs. Howell's,
but Mr. Howell was
charging a dollar
apiece for 'em.
Gilligan, will you
finish packing?
I can hardly wait till
we get back to our car.
We're double-parked,
you know.
Oh, yes, and we left
the engine running.
Come on, let's go
find the mosquitoes.
Okay.
Hold it. You can all
just start to unpack.
Unpack? What do
you mean unpack?
The mosquitoes
left us a message.
A message?
They can
write?
Apparently.
"Hi, gang.
"Me and the boys--
me and the boys
"decided to take off
this morning
"when the helicopter
came by with provisions.
As for the honeybees..."
As for the honeybees?
"As for the honeybees,
you're good, gals,
"but just a little
too good, and we've got
enough competition.
"But so there wouldn't
be any hard feelings,
we left a gift for you."
A gift?
Oh, I love presents.
Never mind that,
gilligan. We--
well, what is it?
Open it up!
I'm trying to,
skipper.
An album?!
Yeah. The mosquitoes
at carnegie hall.
Is that all?
Well, now what do you think
of your mosquitoes?
You're absolutely right.
It was a terrible thing
to do...
Leaving us with an album.
They didn't even
autograph it.
Gilligan!
Ohh!
If the world is lucky,
we'll never get rescued.
♪ now this is the tale
of our castaways ♪
♪ they're here for
a long, long time ♪
♪ they'll have to make
the best of things ♪
♪ it's an uphill climb ♪
♪ the first mate
and his skipper, too ♪
♪ will do their very best ♪
♪ to make the others
comfortable ♪
♪ in their tropic island nest ♪
♪ no phone ♪
♪ no light ♪
♪ no motor cars ♪
♪ not a single luxury ♪
♪ like Robinson crusoe ♪
♪ it's primitive as can be ♪
♪ so join us here
each week, my friends ♪
♪ you're sure to get a smile ♪
♪ from seven
stranded castaways ♪
♪ here on gilligan's isle! ♪