Ghosted (2017): Season 1, Episode 2 - Bee-Mo - full transcript

Previously on Ghosted...

The Bureau Underground was created

to protect humanity
from paranormal forces.

Leroy, you were the best missing
persons detective the LAPD

ever had. Max, you were a
brilliant astrophysicist.

LEROY: What happened with your wife?

She was abducted.

Oh, my God.

- That's my wife.
- (SHRIEKS)

Everything I was called crazy
for believing is real.

I mean, we were right there.



Gentlemen, welcome to
the Bureau Underground.

("THE POWER OF LOVE" BY HUEY
LEWIS & THE NEWS PLAYING)

Look at us. Look at... l-look at us.

We're just driving to work.
Just a couple of guys.

Two Bureau Underground agents.

Can you believe this is our job?

You mean, can I believe there's
an entire government agency

dedicated to hunting
down make-believe stuff?

No, I cannot.

Well, you're working for 'em.
You better believe it.

Man, starting a dream job.

LaFrey says I get to see
my wife in a few days.

This might be the most
exciting week of my life.

Mine was first week of
summer, senior year.



- I saw Prince that week.
- Was it the Lovesexy Tour?

- Or, no, the-the Nude Tour?
- He was coming out of a JCPenney.

Huh. That's cool. That's a
pretty good celebrity sighting.

Mm, I think I have it beat,
but, you know, no biggie.

Over Prince?

- ♪ Stronger and harder... ♪
- It was Blaine Torgen.

- I don't know who that is.
- Celebrity professor Blaine Torgen.

Author of The Spaghetti Theorem.

- No one has heard of Blaine Torgen.
- Blaine Torgen.

Spaghe... The Spaghetti Theorem.
Blaine Torgen.

- Pro... Celebrity professor.
- Stop saying "Spaghetti Theorem,

celebrity professor."
Nobody heard of him.

Just 'cause you know who he is...

I went as him for Halloween last year.

- What'd you wear, a turtleneck?
- Ah, see, I knew you knew who he was.

Hey, speaking of Halloween, you excited?

I'm taking my old LAPD partner's
kid trick-or-treating.

- No way.
- Yeah, he's been reaching out lately.

So it was... it was
exciting to hear from him.

That's great.

(CLICKS TONGUE) So...

♪ First time you feel it,
it might make you sad... ♪

What am I doing? Oh, I'm probably...

You know what, I'm probably
just gonna stay home.

- Would you like to hang with us?
- Very much. Thank you.

Oh, my God, what a nice invitation.
This is gonna be so fun.

Boom. Halloween.

It's gonna be the best
one ever, I promise.

- (ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
- (METALLIC RATTLING, CRASHING)

(SNARLING)

MAN: Damn animal in here again.

♪ Warriors! ♪

(SCREECHING)

- (LINE RINGING)
- (ALERT BEEPING)

_

DISPATCHER: 911. What's the
nature of your emergency?

(CAT YOWLS, SNARLS)

(SCREECHING)

_

_

- _ - (ALERT BEEPING)

(GASPS) Ay, papi.

Captain LaFrey!

Oh, that came out significantly
louder than I intended.

Barry, it is Halloween, there is a full
moon and a meteor shower on the way.

It's a paranormal perfect storm.
What do you want?

When I look back up, you
better not be a cat.

We've got to get a team on this.

- Who's available?
- Our top agents are all deployed.

Between a reported lycanthrope
sighting, multiple hauntings,

and Sad Brian's destination
wedding in Sacramento,

- we're really short-staffed.
- (SIGHS) Okay,

well, just get whoever's left. Go. Now.

Anyway, look, uh, thank you for letting
me tag along tonight, you know? It's...

- Who are you again?
- Max.

I mean, I'm sure Leroy...
must've mentioned me.

His cool new friend, Max? Max-a-million?

The Max Man? No? Nothing? No nicknames?

No? It's all right.

I'm sure he mentioned me and you just...
couldn't hear him.

Must have been loud there.

- Where?
- Nothing.

Thanks again for this.
He's been asking all week,

"Can I go trick-or-treating with Leroy?
I want to spend time with Leroy."

That's nice to hear. Those last
couple times I hit him up,

he was like, "Oh, I'm already booked."

You know, with his dad gone, it means a
lot to me, you spending time with him.

But, Leroy, I don't want him coming
home knowing any new swear words.

I did not teach him "tig ol' bitties."

That was his friend...
in geometry class.

- Uh-huh.
- I swear to God. I'll see you later.

LEROY: Halloween.

All right, Jermaine, we're gonna
hit some condo complexes.

The doors are close together,
like at apartment buildings,

but they got a little bit more money,
so none of that fun size crap.

Why do I smell cologne? Jermaine, I
know you didn't put on cologne for me.

So, this girl at school
is having a party,

- and she asked me to come.
- (CHUCKLES)

Whoa! Look at that,
Big J laying it down.

My mom said I can't go, but I figured

you could just drop me off.
It's not far.

Wait, so is that the reason you asked
me to take you trick-or-treating?

Come on. I can't miss this party.

I heard there's even gonna
be a backrub circle.

Oh. I mean, it sounds
like you got to go.

- Exactly. He gets it.
- I'm just calling it like I see it.

And this jam sounds can't-miss.

Max, I will turn this car
around and take you right home.

- Yep. Sorry.
- Jermaine,

if your mom says you can't go, then...

I can't believe this.
You used to be cool.

Now you're just a lame mall cop.

(RINGTONE PLAYS)

- Hello?
- Leroy, it's Captain LaFrey.

I need you and Max to check
something out for me.

Oh, come on, Captain, I specifically
requested this night off.

Tell you what, you just
do what you need to do,

and I'll touch base with
the monstrous creature

and let it know that its
timing is not ideal.

Leroy, just find the damn thing.
Barry's sending the info now.

Agent Lu,

- he's on you. Get out now.
- (SHOUTING)

- (PHONE CHIMES)
- Here, check this out.

MAX: Um, okay, this could be a...
important situation.

What are we gonna do
with our friend here?

We'll check it out. If it's
nothing, we'll move on.

♪ ♪

Jermaine, stay in the car.
We'll be right back.

Come on, man. I'm gonna
be late to the party.

Ugh. Heard that. Two times.
Listen, give us, like, five,

then we'll roll to your thing, bro. Huh?

- (KNOCKING)
- Let's go! -Yep.

What the hell is your problem?

Was that rhetorical or do you
legitimately want to discuss my flaws?

'Cause I'm happy to
have that conversation.

Dude, you know what I'm talking about.

Look, I am trying to help you, okay?

Because, right now, Jermaine sees you

as the lame guy who's
trying to ruin his life.

- And we need to rehab that image.
- I'm responsible for that kid.

Can I just give you a
little advice on kids?

- No, you cannot.
- Look, if you want to win a kid over,

you treat him as your equal.

I mean, that's what my mom did.
We're still best friends.

She was the best man at my wedding.

What?

(SNARLING)

Hey. What are you doing?

There's a cool cat under here.
Can I rescue him?

I told you to stay in the car.
Why would you disobey me?

Dude, why are you trying to be my dad?

Okay, bring the cat. Hurry up.

(HISSES)

- Wait, Leroy, what are you doing?
- Isn't this what you told me to do?

Well, yeah, but, I mean, a feral cat?
It's-it's a lot of work.

I mean, we'd have to get it
into a socialization program...

- (SNARLS)
- Ow! (GROANS)

You okay?

I'm fine. It was a stupid cat anyway.

LEROY: Nothing there, LaFrey.

No creature, no mummy,
no ghost, no Dracula.

And I'd keep going, but that's
all the monsters I know.

- (SNARLING)
- Nothing there.

Waste of time, end of story.

(TIRES SCREECHING)

(GROWLING, HISSING)

Let me call you back.

- He kicked the door off the car.
- Come on!

How'd he get so strong?
Hormones kicking in?

Puberty doesn't make you
kick the door off the car.

It gives you pimples and makes you
get a boner in front of your aunt.

It only happened once.
She didn't even notice.

Quit talking about your aunt boners.
Wait.

- The cat bit him.
- That's right.

The-the cat... the cat is the creature.

(PANTS)

He's too fast. Come on,
let's get the car.

Yeah.

Jenkins, can you hear me?

I need you to keep moving and
check the area for radiation.

Agent Simons, chop off
the head and blow it up.

Look at her go. She's magnificent.

Well, she doesn't do it alone.

- Oh.
- (PHONE VIBRATES)

Hola.

Barry. The creature is a cat.

It bit Jermaine and he kicked a
door off the car and ran off.

I'm sorry. Who's Jermaine?

Oh. That's so nice Leroy does that.
How is he still single?

Well, I don't know, Barry. I'll give it
some thought and get back to you, okay?

But listen. Annie needs to
track Jermaine's phone.

And Barry, the infection
took hold within minutes,

so we have to contain this.

- We need your help right now.
- I'll call you right back.

Barrie, you and Annie
load up with suppressive,

non-lethal weaponry, head
out and make a drop.

Then double back, find
the cat, hit the lab,

and use that big nerdy head of
yours to come up an antidote.

On six.

- How the hell did you know that?
- Barry, I know everything.

Pull yourself together,
O'Connor, it feeds on fear.

We are witnessing a master
at work; it's incredible.

Yes, yes, but I'm just
wondering if she knows

about my daily
two-and-a-half-hour siesta.

It's for digestive purposes.
Doctor's orders. Come on.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Jermaine, you made it. Come on in.

Oh, my God, Jermaine, you're hilarious.

(HISSING, GROWLING)

MAX: Okay. We're on Palm Street.

I think Jermaine was still
trying to get to his party.

LEROY: Pretty quiet for a party.

Parties tend to be loud,
boisterous affairs.

Uh, yeah, Leroy. I've been to
a party or two in my time.

One or two?

You know what? I used
to show up so early,

people would be like, "What?
This guy's crazy."

Uh, Leroy?

(SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYING)

(DOOR SQUEAKS, CLOSES)

Jermaine!

Jermaine, you in here?

Hey. Are you okay?

Wh-what's going on?
What happened to you?

(CRACKING, SNARLING)

Okay, that-that's abnormal.

- (GROWLS)
- (GASPS)

- (SCREAMS)
- Max?

(SNARLS AND GROWLS)

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down.

Stay back. Stay back!

- Max!
- (GRUNTS)

- What do I do?
- Punch her! Hit her!

- Knock her out!
- Wait. I can't hit a kid.

- Quit being a baby, man.
- Okay, wait.

I'm a baby because I
won't punch a child?

- That logic does not check out.
- Find something to hit her with

hard enough to knock her out, soft
enough I don't feel bad about it.

- Do it!
- (YELLS)

And stay down, you little psycho!

Damn.

Can't believe you struck a child.

(LOW GROWLS NEARBY)

Leroy, do you hear that?

(GROWLING AND SNARLING)

(SCREAMS)

Hey, guys. What's the situation?

Okay. It is really bad in there.

The infection has spread.
Luckily, it is contained

in the house, but,
unfortunately, that house

is filled with really
angry little zombie kids.

Jermaine is in there. I
need to get him out now.

Stun guns, smoke grenades, tranq
rifles and full body armor.

Now, the plan is to storm the
house, subdue the infected,

pack 'em in the van, and get
'em back to the Bureau.

Now, don't make me
regret giving you this.

Uh, look. I am not a big
drinker, but if I survive this,

you owe me a really stiff Midori Sour.

I-I will owe you a drink, but I
will be getting myself a real one.

What do you mean?

Leroy, I want you to tell me
something, and be honest.

This stuff is heavy, right?
It's not just me?

Leroy? You okay?

Bee-mo.

That's what he used to call me.

It meant Beast Mode, but
he was a little kid

with a squeaky voice, so it came
out, (SQUEAKY): Bee-mo. Bee-mo.

He used to think I was the coolest.

I guess I was just trying
to show I still was.

But, if something happens
to him in there...

Yeah, Leroy, I hear ya.

But right now, Jermaine and every one
else in that house is counting on us.

And by "us," I mean you,

'cause I don't really know
how to do any of this stuff.

Those kids need our help, Leroy.
They need Bee-mo.

Let's go get Jermaine.

♪ ♪

(DOOR CLOSES)

(PANTING)

Sorry.

Hey, Leroy.

Did you bring spare batteries
for the flashlights?

(GUNSHOTS, SHRIEKING)

That was so awesome.

(GROWLING)

LEROY: Max, shoot her!

(GROWLING, GUNSHOT)

That was exciting.

- Stay focused.
- Okay.

- I got one dart left.
- I think I've got four.

I've been really smart about
my shot selection, so...

Stay that way; we might need it.

What's that mean?

What does... what does that mean?

- (GROWLING)
- Doc!

- Whoa!
- Get him off me!

(DARTS STRIKING WALL)

- (GUN CLICKS)
- Okay, I'm officially out of darts.

- What?! You missed?
- Well, you weren't standing still.

I got a demon kid on my back!

I mean, I got really close
on a couple of them, so...

- (RINGTONE PLAYS)
- It's his mom. She's video calling me.

- Don't answer.
- I'm not gonna answer.

- (RINGTONE STOPS)
- I answered!

- What?!
- Hey, Rose! What's up?

Hi, Jermaine!

He's really into Halloween this year.

- (JERMAINE GROWLING)
- Let me call you back.

- (PHONE BEEPS)
- (GROWLING)

(YELLS)

Damn!

- (SPOOKY LAUGHTER)
- (GASPING)

(GRUNTS) God...

My God, he's headed for those kids.

Is that Mom? The house had a mom.

(GUN CLICKING)

(MOM SNARLS)

Lord, if I only do one thing right for
the rest of my life, let it be this.

(MAX GRUNTING)

Take the shot.

(FIRES DART)

(EXHALES)

All right, so Barry's got the cat,
and he thinks he has the antidote.

Great. We will see you
guys back at the Bureau.

Great. And you guys are all okay?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

It was, uh, you know, it was
pretty intense in there

for a while, but luckily, I
was able to, you know...

like, keep my cool and be
super chill and stuff.

- And Leroy did everything?
- Yeah, pretty much.

Yeah. Uh, well, I guess I
owe you that Midori Sour.

- Which still continues to baffle me.
- Oh, yeah.

Well, I was kidding, though.

That's not... I don't... I
don't care about that drink.

- It's gross.
- (ANNIE LAUGHS)

(ENGINE STARTS)

MAX: Dude, that just happened.

- Yeah.
- Okay? We did that.

I can't believe it.

That was us!

- We pulled it off!
- Oh, my God!

- (CACKLING)
- That was awesome!

I-I feel like The Rock.

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay? Like-like Dwayne Johnson,

not the Nick Cage- Sean Connery movie.

- I know what you meant.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that movie's badass, so...

- That movie is badass.
- (EXHALES)

It's hot in here. You got, uh...

(GROANING): Ah, oh. Actually...

What's wrong? What?

I don't know, I'm feeling
kind of funny, man.

- (EXHALES)
- Funny?

- (GROANS)
- Funny like how?

Like, I don't know, like maybe...

- You...
- Got bit?

- You think you got bit?
- I got bit?

- You think that?
- You said it.

You said. What are you...

- Don't touch me! What are you doing?
- I'm checking!

- Check yourself! Check!
- Oh, my God.

I don't remember getting bit.

How do I... how do I... how do I look?

You look pale.

But you always look pale.

What do we do, man? What do you think?

(EXHALES)

Leroy, thank you.

Duct-taping you to the seat
was legitimately my pleasure.

Listen, before the virus takes hold
and I start trying to eat your face,

I just want to say that Jermaine
is so lucky to have you, man.

I mean, in that case, so am I.

(LEROY GRUNTING)

You know what? I feel fine.

I mean, not a hundred percent, but I...
I don't know, I think I'm all right.

Must have just been low
blood sugar or something.

I mean, I did have half a
Baby Ruth for breakfast.

- (TIRES SQUEALING)
- You okay, man?

If this is some sort of Halloween
prank, it's hilarious,

but you got to keep
your eyes on the road.

(TIRES SQUEAL)

Whoa! Whoa, Leroy! Oh!

Whoa, Leroy! Leroy!

Aah!

- Whoa!
- (SNARLING)

Leroy...!

Oh! No! No!

No! Seatbelt! Seatbelt, stay!

No! No!

No!

Yeah! Eat it, zombie Leroy!

- Eat it!
- (AIRBAG POPS)

- Oh, no, don't eat it.
- (AIR HISSING)

- No, no. Disregard.
- (SNARLS)

Oh! Aah! Somebody help me!

(SYRINGE HISSES)

Well, he wasn't infected long.
Should be fine in no time.

- Are you duct-taped to the seat?
- Yes, I am. Yeah, I-I...

I was actually about to move
into phase two of my plan,

which was just... to escape,

but then you came along, so
we can just move into that,

uh, that phase a little quicker.
How are you?

Longest night of the year.

Nice work, everyone.
Let's get some sleep.

LaFREY: I'm sorry to interrupt,

- but... what the hell is this?
- Nothing.

That's clearly not true. I
don't know why I said that.

The infected. This one
is my old partner's son.

- Is he okay?
- His vitals check out.

The rest of them seem
to have stabilized.

On the way to a full recovery.

As for me, I got a bit of a
rash from the duct tape.

But I applied calamine
to the affected area...

should be good in four to six days.

Thank God for that.

Let's report this as a
bacterial infection.

Chalk it up to party dip gone bad.
Let's get these kids home, okay?

(SIGHS): I am gonna go... do
what I do when I'm not here.

What do you think that is?

LEROY: There he is. What's up, champ?

- I feel... w-weird.
- Bet you do after all that.

You know what? You two should talk.

I'll pop my earbuds in, lay back...
I am not here.

Listen, man, sorry I had
to be the bad guy today.

But as much as I want you
to think I'm the coolest,

most badass dude around, I got
to do what's best for you.

That's the promise I made your dad.

And I'll always do whatever
it takes to keep it.

- You understand?
- Yeah.

- (SIGHS) I really miss him.
- (EXHALES) I know.

I do, too.

But he's always with you...
watching over you.

And I know he's damn proud of you.

Bee-mo!

You guys... these earbuds are terrible.

I heard that whole thing,
and it was beautiful.

Truly.

Bee-mo.

Bee-mo.

Bee-mo.

(WHISPERS): Bee-mo.

Bee-mo... okay.

- What's his deal?
- (WHISPERS): I don't know.