Ghost Ghirls (2013): Season 1, Episode 1 - Home Is Where the Haunt Is - full transcript
When the ghirls arrive at a haunted house, Heidi and Angelica meet a mysterious man who catches their eye.
Oh my god.
This has to be
5685 Mulberry Lane.
I'm getting like, crazy
vibes from this house.
The address is
literally right there.
Oh my god.
I didn't even see that.
You didn't see that?
Because it's really big.
- Well, I didn't see it.
- I don't know how...
So? I didn't see it.
OK.
I was like, looking
up I didn't...
Do you see it now?
Shut up.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[KNOCKING]
Ah, great.
You must be the Ghost Girls.
We're not settled
on that name yet.
It's just what we
put on the flyer.
We've actually been thinking
about a couple names.
Like, what do you think about...
Specter Detectors,
or the Ghoulie Girls?
Or Ghoul Power?
- What was the one that we had?
- Ghost...
You guys asking my
opinion on your name?
If you think of any.
- Yeah, yeah.
- OK.
Well, either way,
I'm Eddie Hansen.
- Angelica.
- Hi.
Heidi.
Well, why don't you come on in?
Let's get started.
Your house feels very haunted.
OK, good.
It's cool to park
right out there, right?
Yeah, you're fine.
Yeah, so basically, I
inherited this house
from my father's will.
It's pretty neat.
We've had it in the
family for over 200 years.
Oh my god.
I didn't even know houses
were invented back then.
Yeah.
But what's been
happening is I've been
hearing this man screaming.
He's like, yelling
this woman's name.
And I'm not a ghost guy myself,
but it's weirding me out.
Oh, that's a
classic ghost. Yeah.
And so I saw your
flyer, and here we are.
Oh.
If you could just put that back
where you found it, because we
have limited supply of...
We're green.
So, I am the head
ghost technician.
I'm going to be using
these tools to scope
out any spirits that
may be lurking around.
Oh, wow.
I'm getting like, this crazy
intense ghost energy right now.
Like, something
crazy happened here.
I can like, feel it in my face.
Hi.
I'm William.
Can I get you ladies
something to drink?
I'll take a water if it's
not too much trouble.
Not at all. Glass
of water it is.
So, you live here, too?
Notice anything
strange going on?
Yeah, something's not
right in this house.
Not since I got back from war.
Oh, my cousin's
at war right now.
His name's Gary?
Do you know him?
How about Harry?
She's got like, five
cousins in Iraq.
They were on a
football team, and they
all signed up at the same time.
Yeah, and I saw Saving
Private Ryan last night.
We have a movie marathon
every Thursday night,
if you ever are
free or anything.
Girls only.
Do you like movies?
Hm.
[DOG BARKING]
Oh my god.
I'm getting a feeling that this
is a room where people cook.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's a kitchen.
Oh my god, that's crazy.
I've got to lie down.
Do you have any
Saltines and ginger ale?
I'm feeling a little nauseous.
I might, yeah.
Let's put everything back
in the freezer, though.
So, we're going to try to
make contact with the ghost.
Who's ready to get
this Seyonce started?
Seance.
Ance.
Oh, wow.
This ghost really has
unfinished business.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Ooh.
Oh, wow.
Oh my.
Oh wow.
He's...
Oh, shoot!
I forgot the Ouija board.
[MOANING]
Ashemmer.
Ashemmer.
Is that a word?
I don't see it.
Oh, that's too bad,
though, because that would
- have been a triple word score.
- All right.
Oh my gosh.
- This thing is going crazy.
- I know.
Mine too.
Oh my... do you hear that?
Oh my gosh.
This thing is going wild.
There is something in here.
There is something in there.
[SCREAMING]
Ow!
Ow! Hey!
Hey!
That's enough!
Get out! Get out!
Have you ever even
done this before?
Well, what? Like, successfully?
- Just get out.
- OK, fine.
But can you give your
roommate my phone number?
Who?
Your roommate, William.
That's him right there.
Did you get that taken
at Knott's Berry Farm
because we have one, too.
Show him, show him, show him.
It's so funny.
That's me and that's her.
That is my great,
great, great grandfather
who fought in the Civil
War, and this is a portrait
of him with his wife Emma.
Oh my god.
Heidi, you look
exactly like his wife.
Wait a minute, guys.
When we did the seance,
what was that word?
Ashemmer.
- Off- - You don't want any?
You don't like ice cream?
Are you diabetic?
Nick Jonas is a diabetic.
Who's your ideal woman?
Julia Roberts.
Oh, really?
You guys would be cute together.
I couldn't.
Do you want to?
Whoa.
Where's Emma.
Emma.
That's his wife.
That's the unfinished business.
I have an idea.
That's so funny I
had this in my trunk.
I thought, just in case.
William?
William, it's your wife Emma.
- I don't know where he is.
- I don't know.
I'm not sure.
He's got to be somewhere
in here, though.
[SCREAMING]
Emma.
Hi.
Hi. Hi, William.
I've missed you.
And I've missed you.
Nora, boil this rabbit
and bring us some wine.
He thinks you're the
maid from the portrait.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- You've got to act like the maid.
- Oh.
OK.
Can I bring you some wine?
What kind of wine?
OK.
- No, no, no.
- Nora...
You've got to like,
be in character.
What do you mean?
Like, act like the
maid from the portrait.
I don't know what that means.
It means... have you ever
seen Gone With the Wind?
Hattie McDaniels in
Gone With the Wind.
It was Hattie McDaniel.
She won an Oscar for that.
I can't touch that.
Nora!
OK, I'm gonna go get
you somethin' good.
Oh, boy, it's gonna be good.
That's really disgust...
That's racist.
Now, William.
I know you never got a
chance to say goodbye to me.
I tried to come back
from the war, but...
I know.
It sucks, OK?
But we can be
together in eternity.
Just go to the light.
Go to the light, William, and
we'll be together forever.
- He's walking to a lamp.
- Oh.
Oh, William?
Uh, that's... go to that one.
The big one? Yeah.
I'll meet you there.
I'm going to get some things.
You know women.
I'll see you there.
Goodbye, William.
[ELECTRONIC FIZZLE]
This is really emotional for me.
Is it?
You're not showing much.
OK, I'm feeling
a lot, all right?
Look who's softening up.
I'm not softening up.
I'd like you guys to leave.
Which one of us do you like
more, if you had to date us?
- Who's prettier?
- OK, I'm not doing this.
I don't feel comfortable.
Say who's pretty and we'll
give you a 5% discount.
I don't feel comfortable.
Sorry.
Thanks for coming by.
I miss William.
I think we should find a
Group on and go get dinner.
Girls gotta eat.
Ghouls Gotta Eat!
- Our new name.
- Never.
That would never happen...
That will never happen.
And if you want that name, count
me out because I've got like,
four other businesses lined up.
This has to be
5685 Mulberry Lane.
I'm getting like, crazy
vibes from this house.
The address is
literally right there.
Oh my god.
I didn't even see that.
You didn't see that?
Because it's really big.
- Well, I didn't see it.
- I don't know how...
So? I didn't see it.
OK.
I was like, looking
up I didn't...
Do you see it now?
Shut up.
[OMINOUS MUSIC]
[KNOCKING]
Ah, great.
You must be the Ghost Girls.
We're not settled
on that name yet.
It's just what we
put on the flyer.
We've actually been thinking
about a couple names.
Like, what do you think about...
Specter Detectors,
or the Ghoulie Girls?
Or Ghoul Power?
- What was the one that we had?
- Ghost...
You guys asking my
opinion on your name?
If you think of any.
- Yeah, yeah.
- OK.
Well, either way,
I'm Eddie Hansen.
- Angelica.
- Hi.
Heidi.
Well, why don't you come on in?
Let's get started.
Your house feels very haunted.
OK, good.
It's cool to park
right out there, right?
Yeah, you're fine.
Yeah, so basically, I
inherited this house
from my father's will.
It's pretty neat.
We've had it in the
family for over 200 years.
Oh my god.
I didn't even know houses
were invented back then.
Yeah.
But what's been
happening is I've been
hearing this man screaming.
He's like, yelling
this woman's name.
And I'm not a ghost guy myself,
but it's weirding me out.
Oh, that's a
classic ghost. Yeah.
And so I saw your
flyer, and here we are.
Oh.
If you could just put that back
where you found it, because we
have limited supply of...
We're green.
So, I am the head
ghost technician.
I'm going to be using
these tools to scope
out any spirits that
may be lurking around.
Oh, wow.
I'm getting like, this crazy
intense ghost energy right now.
Like, something
crazy happened here.
I can like, feel it in my face.
Hi.
I'm William.
Can I get you ladies
something to drink?
I'll take a water if it's
not too much trouble.
Not at all. Glass
of water it is.
So, you live here, too?
Notice anything
strange going on?
Yeah, something's not
right in this house.
Not since I got back from war.
Oh, my cousin's
at war right now.
His name's Gary?
Do you know him?
How about Harry?
She's got like, five
cousins in Iraq.
They were on a
football team, and they
all signed up at the same time.
Yeah, and I saw Saving
Private Ryan last night.
We have a movie marathon
every Thursday night,
if you ever are
free or anything.
Girls only.
Do you like movies?
Hm.
[DOG BARKING]
Oh my god.
I'm getting a feeling that this
is a room where people cook.
- Is that right?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it's a kitchen.
Oh my god, that's crazy.
I've got to lie down.
Do you have any
Saltines and ginger ale?
I'm feeling a little nauseous.
I might, yeah.
Let's put everything back
in the freezer, though.
So, we're going to try to
make contact with the ghost.
Who's ready to get
this Seyonce started?
Seance.
Ance.
Oh, wow.
This ghost really has
unfinished business.
Oh my god.
Wow.
Ooh.
Oh, wow.
Oh my.
Oh wow.
He's...
Oh, shoot!
I forgot the Ouija board.
[MOANING]
Ashemmer.
Ashemmer.
Is that a word?
I don't see it.
Oh, that's too bad,
though, because that would
- have been a triple word score.
- All right.
Oh my gosh.
- This thing is going crazy.
- I know.
Mine too.
Oh my... do you hear that?
Oh my gosh.
This thing is going wild.
There is something in here.
There is something in there.
[SCREAMING]
Ow!
Ow! Hey!
Hey!
That's enough!
Get out! Get out!
Have you ever even
done this before?
Well, what? Like, successfully?
- Just get out.
- OK, fine.
But can you give your
roommate my phone number?
Who?
Your roommate, William.
That's him right there.
Did you get that taken
at Knott's Berry Farm
because we have one, too.
Show him, show him, show him.
It's so funny.
That's me and that's her.
That is my great,
great, great grandfather
who fought in the Civil
War, and this is a portrait
of him with his wife Emma.
Oh my god.
Heidi, you look
exactly like his wife.
Wait a minute, guys.
When we did the seance,
what was that word?
Ashemmer.
- Off- - You don't want any?
You don't like ice cream?
Are you diabetic?
Nick Jonas is a diabetic.
Who's your ideal woman?
Julia Roberts.
Oh, really?
You guys would be cute together.
I couldn't.
Do you want to?
Whoa.
Where's Emma.
Emma.
That's his wife.
That's the unfinished business.
I have an idea.
That's so funny I
had this in my trunk.
I thought, just in case.
William?
William, it's your wife Emma.
- I don't know where he is.
- I don't know.
I'm not sure.
He's got to be somewhere
in here, though.
[SCREAMING]
Emma.
Hi.
Hi. Hi, William.
I've missed you.
And I've missed you.
Nora, boil this rabbit
and bring us some wine.
He thinks you're the
maid from the portrait.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- You've got to act like the maid.
- Oh.
OK.
Can I bring you some wine?
What kind of wine?
OK.
- No, no, no.
- Nora...
You've got to like,
be in character.
What do you mean?
Like, act like the
maid from the portrait.
I don't know what that means.
It means... have you ever
seen Gone With the Wind?
Hattie McDaniels in
Gone With the Wind.
It was Hattie McDaniel.
She won an Oscar for that.
I can't touch that.
Nora!
OK, I'm gonna go get
you somethin' good.
Oh, boy, it's gonna be good.
That's really disgust...
That's racist.
Now, William.
I know you never got a
chance to say goodbye to me.
I tried to come back
from the war, but...
I know.
It sucks, OK?
But we can be
together in eternity.
Just go to the light.
Go to the light, William, and
we'll be together forever.
- He's walking to a lamp.
- Oh.
Oh, William?
Uh, that's... go to that one.
The big one? Yeah.
I'll meet you there.
I'm going to get some things.
You know women.
I'll see you there.
Goodbye, William.
[ELECTRONIC FIZZLE]
This is really emotional for me.
Is it?
You're not showing much.
OK, I'm feeling
a lot, all right?
Look who's softening up.
I'm not softening up.
I'd like you guys to leave.
Which one of us do you like
more, if you had to date us?
- Who's prettier?
- OK, I'm not doing this.
I don't feel comfortable.
Say who's pretty and we'll
give you a 5% discount.
I don't feel comfortable.
Sorry.
Thanks for coming by.
I miss William.
I think we should find a
Group on and go get dinner.
Girls gotta eat.
Ghouls Gotta Eat!
- Our new name.
- Never.
That would never happen...
That will never happen.
And if you want that name, count
me out because I've got like,
four other businesses lined up.