Game Changer (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 4 - A Sponsored Episode - full transcript
Trapp, Rekha, and Grant compete in capitalism with Mad Men marketing and unexpected product pitches.
- [Sam] Get ready for a Game Changer.
Brought to you by Chompsky's
potato chips, it's Mike Trapp.
Eyy!
Brought to you by Chompsky's
tater tots, it's Grant O'Brien.
Eyy!
And brought to you by Chompsky's
potato allergy medicine,
it's Rekha Shankar.
- Hello, hi, great.
- And your host, me.
I've been here the whole time.
This is Game Changer.
The only game show where
the game changes every show.
I'm your host, Sam Reich.
I am joined today by these
three lovely contestants.
Now you all understand how the game works?
- No, I do not.
- Right, that's because our players have
no idea what game they're about to play.
The only way to learn is by playing.
The only way to win is by learning.
And the only way to begin is by beginning.
So, without further adieu, let's begin.
Ash, can you bring out the table?
- Hm, okay, it's purple.
- Mike, will you please
approach the table?
- Yeah, all right.
- You have until I cut you off,
to sell me frosting toothpaste.
- Ooh, okay.
Great.
Sam, let me ask you something.
Do you like cake?
- I like cake.
- Do you like frosting?
- I like frosting.
- Don't you wish you
could have more frosting?
- Ooh.
- Might I put forward to
you frosting toothpaste.
A way to make toothbrushing fun again,
and bring you more cake in your life.
- I like it Trapp, I'll
give you a point for that.
Very well done.
- Wow.
- You can return to your podium.
- Very interesting.
- Interesting.
- Grant! Would you approach
the podium, please?
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a strobe reading lamp.
- Books, movies.
One happens in your mind.
One happens on the screen.
Sam, wouldn't it be nice to
make a book more like a movie?
To have that book flash
at you over and over?
Wouldn't you like to direct
your own movie of imagination?
Can I ask where'd you grow up?
- I grew up in Cambridge, Mass.
- Was there a movie theater there
in Cambridge, Massachusetts?
- There was.
- What was the name?
- It was the Copley Square Theater.
- Do you remember being a little boy?
Walking into the Copley Square Theater?
The air conditioning just right.
The chill in the air.
A bucket of fragrant
popcorn right on your lap.
- Fragrant.
- Yeah.
- Well now, what if you
didn't have any of that?
Wouldn't that be better.
- So, everybody buy Moviepass.
- I liked the analogy and
I will give you a point for
that in this first round.
- Thank you, hey that's great.
Thank you very much.
- [Sam] Well done.
Rekha, will you approach
the podium, please?
You have until I cut you off to sell me
these giant hamburger gloves.
- Okay.
- [Sam] Yeah, feel free.
- Now, Sam, where are you from?
- I feel like I recently established this.
I'm from Massachusetts.
- Okay, it gets chilly there.
- It does get chilly in
Massachusetts, it does.
- And would you say it
gets chilly burger there?
- This pitch only works
if you say it gets chilly.
- Cool cool cool.
- So, for my money, I will
say I'm from the east coast.
I love it.
- [Sam] Yeah.
- Gets a little cold.
- It totally does.
- What if there was just a warmer glove?
And not only just warm but fun.
Do you like fun?
- I love fun.
- What was your childhood
movie theater called?
- I like it, Rekha.
I will give you the point.
For now, you may return to your podium.
- Thank you.
- Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me an angry goose encounter.
- Lovely.
Sam, are you familiar with geese?
- I am.
- Some might call them the
assholes of the swan world.
- Ooh, that is correct.
- Now, you seem like
an intelligent fellow.
You seem like you're maybe
from Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Well thanks.
- I have to imagine there
that the best entertainment
you could possibly imagine be
going to the Copley Square Theater.
Getting a bucket of fragrant popcorn.
An icy mug of root beer on your side.
- I do love root beer.
- Doesn't that sound like just a
boring ass way to spend your day?
- Sure.
- All right, you're looking for adventure.
You're looking for excitement.
You're looking for,
perhaps a risky encounter.
We leave you in a beautiful park.
- Oh.
- With one angry goose.
- One.
- And we tie five loaves of
bread to the back of your shirt.
- Oh, that's a twist.
- And we see how you would fair
when the hunter becomes the hunted.
- Trapp, out of a possible three points,
I will give you two for
angry goose encounter.
- Wow.
- I particularly like that tag line.
That was well done.
- Interesting.
- I see ya.
- Grant, you have until I cut you off
to sell me stick on nipples.
- Watch out.
- You wake up to the touch of satin.
You're in a bed that isn't your own.
Then out of the bathroom,
a beautiful naked woman.
She walks over to you.
You can see in her eyes
that she wants you.
She wants you more than she's
ever wanted anything in the world.
Her fingers run across
the back of your head.
She gets into bed.
You feel her breath on your neck.
She brings a hand down your
neck, across your chest.
And then she gets to your nipples
and it feels like sandpaper.
- And the dry skin on her hands
shred your nipples to tatters.
- Shred my nipples.
- You can have the magical encounter.
The potential for love,
which is what we all crave.
- He's tweaking them yeah.
- Without having terrible,
shredded nipples.
By sticking these nipples onto your chest,
before you go anywhere.
- I'm very moved.
Three points for Grant O'Brien.
- Wow.
- This table's hot.
- Frankly, I don't know if
that was enough to justify
purchasing the nipples.
But the delivery was
enough that I didn't care.
Which I think is advertising.
- Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
- Rekha, you have till
I cut you off to sell me
a Rubik's Cube that's all greens.
- Now, Sam where are you from?
- I'm from Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Home to Harvard yeah?
- Yes.
- Let me ask you.
You're smart, you're a smart man clearly.
- I mean. Sure.
- Okay, but you have some doubts, right?
- I do.
Some insecurities.
- And are those insecurities
helpful to you at all.
- No.
And that doesn't help you move forward.
- I'd do anything to get rid of them.
- Intro all green Rubik's Cube.
Nothing makes you feel smarter.
With my eyes closed, I've completed it.
- You, too, can feel like a genius.
Like the elite Harvard
students that went to
Crumbley square.
What the fuck is your movie theater?
Probably watching movies like Proof.
- Yes.
- And I don't know, The
Theory of Everything.
Movies about smart men.
When you, Sam, someone who
doubts whether he's good enough
to hang with the Harvard boys.
Is seeing--
- Doubt.
- Doubt.
Or something else that
relates to doubting yourself.
Ten Things I Hate About Me.
You walk in with this
in you hand and they go,
damn, you're smart like the rest of us.
Honorary degree.
- Wow, if I'm honest before
Ten Things I Hate About Me,
that was a two, now it's a three.
Well done.
- Yes bitch!
- Players it's time for
our first mini game.
The scores going into that mini game,
Trapp with three points, Grant
with four, Rekha with four.
I wanna put the game
on pause for a moment.
And treat you as kind of a focus group.
I'm looking to create a
new Game Changer logo.
And I would love your feedback on
the ones I'm about to show you.
- Okay.
- Now, of course first person to buzz in
and give me that feedback
wins or loses, we shall see.
- Okay.
- Players, what do you think of this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like Google.
- You know what?
Now that I look at it,
you're absolutely right.
It is very much like the Google logo.
That would be a problem, I'm
glad you caught that Grant.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
That's Grant again.
- What?
- It's too much like Amazon.
- It is too much like Amazon.
Now that I look at it again.
That's a point for Grant.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like WeWork.
- No!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Grant, what did you say?
- It's too much like WeWork.
- No it's not.
It's too much like FedEx.
- It is too much like FedEx.
- Fuck you.
- Wow.
- That is a point for Rekha.
- Players, I should dock you
points for that, motherfucker.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Rekha.
- Too much like Subway.
- It is too much like Subway.
- [Rekha] You got the arrows in there.
- It must be that I'm like holding
all of these subconsciously.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like Samsung.
- Yeah you little android bitch.
- Players, thoughts on this logo?
- Shit
- [Sam] Rekha.
- It's too much like Baskin Robbins!
- That is correct. It is too
much like Baskin Robbins.
Well done Rekha.
That's a point for you.
So far, Grant and Rekha tie.
- I just need to start buzzing in
assuming I'll know the answer.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
- That is too much like the Pringles logo.
- [Sam] It is too much
like the Pringles logo.
- Also, whoa.
- Is that Sam Pringles?
- That's me.
- [Rekha] Oh my God.
- [Sam] I turned into the Pringles--
- Daddy Pringles.
- I mean, Sam, no kidding.
That is fucking hot.
That is
- Holy shit.
- Who is he?
- He's hotter than the
Jack in the Box guy.
- You did this last time
too, the two of you.
- Oh my God.
- You look, that is so oh my God.
I'm edging!
- Oh Jesus, once you pop you never stop.
Oh pop me daddy!
Don't stop! Don't stop popping it!
Don't stop popping it.
- Legal let me get away
with this by a hair.
- By a beard.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
That is too much like the Hooter's logo.
- You're sick. You're a perv.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
- That looks too much like LinkedIn.
- It is too much like LinkedIn.
- I've started just buzzing
in assuming I'll get it.
It's been a game changer for me.
- [Rekha] I'll try it.
- Oh, brother.
- Wow, corporate shill.
- Notice that Trapp is creeping
up here with six points now.
Seven to Seven.
Players, thoughts on this logo?
- Oh shit, it's too
much like Uniqlo's logo.
- [Rekha] Yes it Is!
- It is too much like Uniqlo's logo.
- Boom!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Quickly.
- Huh?
(sneezes)
- Please, continue.
- But please do touch this buzzer after.
- Everyone else has mastered
the crook in the arm--
God damn it!
- If you come near me, I'll spit on you.
- Just a friendly competition.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
- Actually, it's too
close to the HGTV logo.
- Yes, it is too close to HGTV.
Very good!
I have played practice rounds of this
and no one has gotten that.
- Well no one is Mike Trapp.
Except me.
- Yeah insufferable.
- Players, what about this logo?
Trapp.
- That's too close to the Toblerone.
- It is too close to the Toblerone.
- And Sam, oh my God look at
daddy mountain over there.
- Oh, daddy mountain now.
- Hard as a rock, he's fucking huge.
- Oh, fuck, chunks of
nougat stuck in my teeth.
- Thousands of climbers a year die
because he's so fucking hot.
- [Rekha] Fuck! Give me the big size!
- [Grant] Yeah, Yeah!
I'm gonna fall down a big crevice.
- Yeah give me the hexagon.
- That is the end of our first mini game.
The points headed into round two are,
Trapp with eight points, Grant with eight,
Rekha with seven.
Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me lemon parmesan.
Mmm!
- You know, Italian food frequently
makes use of both lemon
juice and Parmesan cheese.
- This is true.
And you seem like a man who is busy.
A busy man with an important job.
Probably grew up around Crumbly square.
And you don't have time
to juice those lemons
and grate that Parmesan.
You need to combine those all into
one and save time with lemon Parmesan.
- Fair enough.
Grant, you may ask one follow up question.
- Would you take a bite?
- Grant, this is a fabulous product
that I stand by 100% of the way.
Of course I will take a bite of this.
- Now that, that's good eatin.
- Rekha, you have a follow
up question if you want it.
- Would you take another bite?
- Rekha, I'm not gonna lie.
This is a delicious product
that everyone can enjoy.
Not only will I take another bite.
- It smells so good.
- Here we go.
It's tangy.
It's (mumble).
It's got that hint of citrus zest that
just brightens the whole thing up.
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
That's three points for
Trapp, Jesus Christ.
- [Grant] Oh my word.
- Oh, I'm sorry Trapp.
- I'm not. It's a delicious product.
That everyone could enjoy.
- Grant.
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a middle finger Bonsai tree.
- Okay.
It's 2019 and I feel
weighted down with hate.
With negativity.
With sadness.
- He's gonna fucking cry.
- I need to get it out of myself.
To not have that in my heart,
in my brain, in my soul.
But there's nothing in
my home that I can put
that energy into to get
it outside of myself.
My goodness, this bush.
I give to you, bush, all of my anger.
Will you carry it for me?
- Grant, that was an
unbelievable performance
and a terrible pitch.
Trapp, follow up question.
- Would you take a bite?
- Sure.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't, don't.
- [Rekha] Grant, please don't!
Grant!
I guess just don't swallow it right?
Because it's probably
covered in paint and shit.
- [Sam] Don't swallow it.
- Don't swallow it.
- It's definitely plastic.
- Yeah don't swallow it.
- Grant.
- Great.
- Why didn't you expect
us to eat the props?
- [Sam] Rekha, follow up question.
- Okay, here's a question.
Say I'm depressed.
But I can't take care of a plant.
I feel like it might be a high
maintenance kind of thing to have.
- Well this glue and
styrofoam as I found out.
So it can't die because
it was never alive.
- Wow and that's really relatable.
- Anyway that's two points for Grant.
Rekha.
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a pubic hair paintbrush.
- Sam, where'd you grow up?
- Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Is there a lot of art there?
- There is.
It's an arty community.
- Do you consider yourself an artist?
- I'd like to think I am.
- Yeah.
It can be hard to like
get yourself on the page.
- Totally, totally.
- Not with this.
With the pubic hair brush,
there's a direct line
between yourself and the page.
Using only the coarsest, finest stinkiest
of your own pubic hair.
Paint yourself the picture of
yourself that you wanna be.
- Love that.
Trapp, follow up question?
- Yeah. Could I also--
Grant's pitch for this last product mostly
revolved around screaming
obscenities at a bush.
Could I also do the same
thing with this product?
- This is a bush.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Grant, follow up question.
- Where'd you get the pubes?
- Homegrown baby.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- You can tell, look at the color.
- Well done Rekha, two points for you.
- Thank you.
- Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me a keyboard that is all P's.
Mmmm!
P.
- Sam, don't you feel
like in our modern world,
we are sometimes bombarded with choices?
You've got the big four
streaming services.
Netflix, Disney+, Hulu,
and of course Dropout.
For every product you go
to the toothpaste aisle
and it's like there's Total Control,
there's Whitening, there's frosting.
Over and over again you're
bombarded with choices.
Wouldn't it be easier,
wouldn't it be nicer even,
to have those choices narrowed down.
To have curated selection just for you.
And that's what the P keyboard offers you.
It's only the best letter of the alphabet.
No choices to make, but the freedom to put
your fingers wherever they want.
- I have a follow up question for you.
- Yes?
- Why is P the best
letter of the alphabet?
- Cause it's perfect.
- Oh, fuck!
God damn!
- What is a lower case
b but an upside down P.
- Wow.
- What is a lower case
q, but a moved around P.
- What is a lower case d?
The list goes on.
- I'm impressed.
Rekha, follow up question?
- Yes. If I wanted to write a
simple email on this keyboard,
something that said, hi,
did you get the memo? Rekha.
What would that look like?
- P-p-p-p-p-p-p.
- Three points for Trapp.
Back to your podium sir.
That was very impressive.
Grant, you have until I
cut you off to sell me
flavored toilet paper.
[Trapp] Yum Bum.
- Sam, if you're like
me, you eat a lot of ass.
You find someone to kneel
on your bed, on your floor,
you know, face down ass up.
That's the way I like to eat ass.
I just go to town, my friend.
I get my tongue so far up somebody,
it's like I'm tasting their tonsils.
I get so deep in there,
I'm gonna burn myself with stomach acid.
But every once in awhile, you
get a little piece of shit.
You're working with a butt, that's okay.
You can't get freaked out by it.
You've got to stay focused on the task.
But I don't like it.
I'm not thrilled when it happens.
Flavored toilet paper, sure,
you'll still have little pieces
of shit in your mouth from
the butt that you're eating.
But now it's gonna
taste like strawberries.
- And that motto has
guided Grant's whole life.
- Trapp, follow up question.
- I'm wondering why this is a
better product than a shower?
- Uh baby, ain't no time.
- I had my ears closed for some of that,
but I've never seen this crew laugh
so much so far this game.
So, Grant, three points.
- Bang, bang.
- [Rekha] Wow. Bum bum.
- Bum bum.
- There's only 15
calories in a whole roll.
- I mean that's actually pretty good.
- Rekha, you have till
I cut you off to sell me
a toaster that burns an
image of James Spader.
- James Spader.
- Star of The Black List.
- The Black List.
Have you ever seen The Black List?
- I have, as a matter of fact.
- I venture to say and I'm just
polling kinda everyone here,
most people don't watch it.
- Let me ask you a follow up question.
Where'd you grow up?
- I grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Is there a lot of memorable
people from your town?
- There's a few.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
- So those are kind of
like exceptions right?
It's like kinda hard to
live up to that right?
- How do you like them apples?
- Rekha.
- So, something that I kind
of feel bad about, you know,
you growing up in this time,
it makes me sick at night.
- Yeah.
- Thinking that like, oh my God.
You, the countless other
talented people from
Cambridge, Mass, could be forgotten.
- True.
- Isn't that a fear you have?
Am I remembering?
- Sure, like a fear of our very mortality.
- So you could build up
this whole comedy company
from nothing and kind of just
wither away and be forgotten.
- Yeah, totally.
Yeah that's a fear.
- So introducing the Spader toaster.
- Let her finish, let her finish.
- Bring it on home.
- What if people who are
forgotten, like James Spader,
could actually be ingrained,
in grained, into toast.
- Grant.
- What are your top five
James Spader performances?
- Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked.
Blacklist episode one.
Blacklist episode two.
Blacklist episode three, four and five.
- Rekha, that was a impassioned pitch.
Two points.
- But what if?
- I will give you the opportunity
to come back in the next mini game.
Our scores heading into that mini game are
Trapp with 14 points, Grant
with 13, Rekha with 11.
Players, in addition to a
new logo for Game Changer,
I really wanna come up with a new tagline.
Without sounding too ambitious.
I really wanna create one of the
most memorable taglines in history.
I really want something that just
sounds perfect on the tongue.
You know, something that
melts in your mouth.
- But not in your hand.
- That's a point for Grant.
- Bang!
- Nice.
- I could pay a writer
to write one for me.
Obviously, you know, but there are some
things money can't buy.
- For everything else,
there's Master Card.
- That is correct.
That is a point for Trapp.
- Oooh I'm not gonna be good at this.
- Maybe I should reach out
to my friend in marketing,
she's great at this.
I don't know where she
gets that kind of talent.
Maybe she's born with it.
- Maybe it's Maybelline.
- It's illegal.
- That's a point for Grant.
A good tagline should sit
right next to a good logo.
You know, like a good neighbor.
Rekha.
- State Farm is there.
- That's right, that's a point for Rekha.
- Thank you.
- A good logo and a good tagline should
just pair perfectly together.
You know, double your pleasure.
Rekha.
- Statement is the great
mint, of Doublemint gum.
- What was that?
- It's the statement of the
great mint the Doublemint gum.
Double your pleasure, double your fun.
It's the statement of the (mumbles)
Why do you keep making me say it?
- Because you didn't say double your fun.
- You said it, you said it.
- No, you fucking know what I mean.
- That's a point for Rekha.
- What else is would be the
statement of a great mint?
- Do TV shows have good taglines though?
- I'm struggling to think of any.
Then again, you know,
it's the internet right?
It's not TV.
Grant.
- It's HBO.
- That's a point for Grant.
You'd think this would be easy, right?
I mean marketing is everywhere.
It's practically what America runs on.
Rekha.
- Dunkin Donuts.
- That is correct.
Point for Rekha.
Am I over thinking this?
Maybe I should gamble on one you know.
Like what happens in Vegas.
Grant.
- Stays in Vegas.
- That's a point for Grant.
Or maybe I should just go
ahead and pick a tagline,
you know, be a quicker picker.
Grant.
- Upper, Bounty.
- That is correct.
That is a point for Grant.
- You know I really should probably just.
- Do it, Nike.
- That point goes to Rekha.
That's it for us here at Game Changer.
The final score is Trapp with 15 points.
Grant with 18, Rekha with 15.
Grant, that means you are
our winner here today.
Very well done.
In order to balance out
this very commercial episode
you win an annual membership
to a botanical garden
that I actually happen
to love a great deal.
- That's fantastic.
- That's gorgeous!
- That's wonderful.
- Yeah. That's a good prize.
- [Rekha] That's really nice.
- That's it for us here at Game Changer.
I'm Sam Reich reminding you
that nothing solves insert
problem here quite like
insert product here.
Goodnight.
[Grant] Hey I got a place
you could insert the product.
Brought to you by Chompsky's
potato chips, it's Mike Trapp.
Eyy!
Brought to you by Chompsky's
tater tots, it's Grant O'Brien.
Eyy!
And brought to you by Chompsky's
potato allergy medicine,
it's Rekha Shankar.
- Hello, hi, great.
- And your host, me.
I've been here the whole time.
This is Game Changer.
The only game show where
the game changes every show.
I'm your host, Sam Reich.
I am joined today by these
three lovely contestants.
Now you all understand how the game works?
- No, I do not.
- Right, that's because our players have
no idea what game they're about to play.
The only way to learn is by playing.
The only way to win is by learning.
And the only way to begin is by beginning.
So, without further adieu, let's begin.
Ash, can you bring out the table?
- Hm, okay, it's purple.
- Mike, will you please
approach the table?
- Yeah, all right.
- You have until I cut you off,
to sell me frosting toothpaste.
- Ooh, okay.
Great.
Sam, let me ask you something.
Do you like cake?
- I like cake.
- Do you like frosting?
- I like frosting.
- Don't you wish you
could have more frosting?
- Ooh.
- Might I put forward to
you frosting toothpaste.
A way to make toothbrushing fun again,
and bring you more cake in your life.
- I like it Trapp, I'll
give you a point for that.
Very well done.
- Wow.
- You can return to your podium.
- Very interesting.
- Interesting.
- Grant! Would you approach
the podium, please?
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a strobe reading lamp.
- Books, movies.
One happens in your mind.
One happens on the screen.
Sam, wouldn't it be nice to
make a book more like a movie?
To have that book flash
at you over and over?
Wouldn't you like to direct
your own movie of imagination?
Can I ask where'd you grow up?
- I grew up in Cambridge, Mass.
- Was there a movie theater there
in Cambridge, Massachusetts?
- There was.
- What was the name?
- It was the Copley Square Theater.
- Do you remember being a little boy?
Walking into the Copley Square Theater?
The air conditioning just right.
The chill in the air.
A bucket of fragrant
popcorn right on your lap.
- Fragrant.
- Yeah.
- Well now, what if you
didn't have any of that?
Wouldn't that be better.
- So, everybody buy Moviepass.
- I liked the analogy and
I will give you a point for
that in this first round.
- Thank you, hey that's great.
Thank you very much.
- [Sam] Well done.
Rekha, will you approach
the podium, please?
You have until I cut you off to sell me
these giant hamburger gloves.
- Okay.
- [Sam] Yeah, feel free.
- Now, Sam, where are you from?
- I feel like I recently established this.
I'm from Massachusetts.
- Okay, it gets chilly there.
- It does get chilly in
Massachusetts, it does.
- And would you say it
gets chilly burger there?
- This pitch only works
if you say it gets chilly.
- Cool cool cool.
- So, for my money, I will
say I'm from the east coast.
I love it.
- [Sam] Yeah.
- Gets a little cold.
- It totally does.
- What if there was just a warmer glove?
And not only just warm but fun.
Do you like fun?
- I love fun.
- What was your childhood
movie theater called?
- I like it, Rekha.
I will give you the point.
For now, you may return to your podium.
- Thank you.
- Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me an angry goose encounter.
- Lovely.
Sam, are you familiar with geese?
- I am.
- Some might call them the
assholes of the swan world.
- Ooh, that is correct.
- Now, you seem like
an intelligent fellow.
You seem like you're maybe
from Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Well thanks.
- I have to imagine there
that the best entertainment
you could possibly imagine be
going to the Copley Square Theater.
Getting a bucket of fragrant popcorn.
An icy mug of root beer on your side.
- I do love root beer.
- Doesn't that sound like just a
boring ass way to spend your day?
- Sure.
- All right, you're looking for adventure.
You're looking for excitement.
You're looking for,
perhaps a risky encounter.
We leave you in a beautiful park.
- Oh.
- With one angry goose.
- One.
- And we tie five loaves of
bread to the back of your shirt.
- Oh, that's a twist.
- And we see how you would fair
when the hunter becomes the hunted.
- Trapp, out of a possible three points,
I will give you two for
angry goose encounter.
- Wow.
- I particularly like that tag line.
That was well done.
- Interesting.
- I see ya.
- Grant, you have until I cut you off
to sell me stick on nipples.
- Watch out.
- You wake up to the touch of satin.
You're in a bed that isn't your own.
Then out of the bathroom,
a beautiful naked woman.
She walks over to you.
You can see in her eyes
that she wants you.
She wants you more than she's
ever wanted anything in the world.
Her fingers run across
the back of your head.
She gets into bed.
You feel her breath on your neck.
She brings a hand down your
neck, across your chest.
And then she gets to your nipples
and it feels like sandpaper.
- And the dry skin on her hands
shred your nipples to tatters.
- Shred my nipples.
- You can have the magical encounter.
The potential for love,
which is what we all crave.
- He's tweaking them yeah.
- Without having terrible,
shredded nipples.
By sticking these nipples onto your chest,
before you go anywhere.
- I'm very moved.
Three points for Grant O'Brien.
- Wow.
- This table's hot.
- Frankly, I don't know if
that was enough to justify
purchasing the nipples.
But the delivery was
enough that I didn't care.
Which I think is advertising.
- Hell yeah.
Hell yeah.
- Rekha, you have till
I cut you off to sell me
a Rubik's Cube that's all greens.
- Now, Sam where are you from?
- I'm from Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Home to Harvard yeah?
- Yes.
- Let me ask you.
You're smart, you're a smart man clearly.
- I mean. Sure.
- Okay, but you have some doubts, right?
- I do.
Some insecurities.
- And are those insecurities
helpful to you at all.
- No.
And that doesn't help you move forward.
- I'd do anything to get rid of them.
- Intro all green Rubik's Cube.
Nothing makes you feel smarter.
With my eyes closed, I've completed it.
- You, too, can feel like a genius.
Like the elite Harvard
students that went to
Crumbley square.
What the fuck is your movie theater?
Probably watching movies like Proof.
- Yes.
- And I don't know, The
Theory of Everything.
Movies about smart men.
When you, Sam, someone who
doubts whether he's good enough
to hang with the Harvard boys.
Is seeing--
- Doubt.
- Doubt.
Or something else that
relates to doubting yourself.
Ten Things I Hate About Me.
You walk in with this
in you hand and they go,
damn, you're smart like the rest of us.
Honorary degree.
- Wow, if I'm honest before
Ten Things I Hate About Me,
that was a two, now it's a three.
Well done.
- Yes bitch!
- Players it's time for
our first mini game.
The scores going into that mini game,
Trapp with three points, Grant
with four, Rekha with four.
I wanna put the game
on pause for a moment.
And treat you as kind of a focus group.
I'm looking to create a
new Game Changer logo.
And I would love your feedback on
the ones I'm about to show you.
- Okay.
- Now, of course first person to buzz in
and give me that feedback
wins or loses, we shall see.
- Okay.
- Players, what do you think of this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like Google.
- You know what?
Now that I look at it,
you're absolutely right.
It is very much like the Google logo.
That would be a problem, I'm
glad you caught that Grant.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
That's Grant again.
- What?
- It's too much like Amazon.
- It is too much like Amazon.
Now that I look at it again.
That's a point for Grant.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like WeWork.
- No!
- Wait, wait, wait.
Grant, what did you say?
- It's too much like WeWork.
- No it's not.
It's too much like FedEx.
- It is too much like FedEx.
- Fuck you.
- Wow.
- That is a point for Rekha.
- Players, I should dock you
points for that, motherfucker.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Rekha.
- Too much like Subway.
- It is too much like Subway.
- [Rekha] You got the arrows in there.
- It must be that I'm like holding
all of these subconsciously.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Grant?
- It's too much like Samsung.
- Yeah you little android bitch.
- Players, thoughts on this logo?
- Shit
- [Sam] Rekha.
- It's too much like Baskin Robbins!
- That is correct. It is too
much like Baskin Robbins.
Well done Rekha.
That's a point for you.
So far, Grant and Rekha tie.
- I just need to start buzzing in
assuming I'll know the answer.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
- That is too much like the Pringles logo.
- [Sam] It is too much
like the Pringles logo.
- Also, whoa.
- Is that Sam Pringles?
- That's me.
- [Rekha] Oh my God.
- [Sam] I turned into the Pringles--
- Daddy Pringles.
- I mean, Sam, no kidding.
That is fucking hot.
That is
- Holy shit.
- Who is he?
- He's hotter than the
Jack in the Box guy.
- You did this last time
too, the two of you.
- Oh my God.
- You look, that is so oh my God.
I'm edging!
- Oh Jesus, once you pop you never stop.
Oh pop me daddy!
Don't stop! Don't stop popping it!
Don't stop popping it.
- Legal let me get away
with this by a hair.
- By a beard.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
That is too much like the Hooter's logo.
- You're sick. You're a perv.
- Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
- That looks too much like LinkedIn.
- It is too much like LinkedIn.
- I've started just buzzing
in assuming I'll get it.
It's been a game changer for me.
- [Rekha] I'll try it.
- Oh, brother.
- Wow, corporate shill.
- Notice that Trapp is creeping
up here with six points now.
Seven to Seven.
Players, thoughts on this logo?
- Oh shit, it's too
much like Uniqlo's logo.
- [Rekha] Yes it Is!
- It is too much like Uniqlo's logo.
- Boom!
- Yeah! Yeah!
- Quickly.
- Huh?
(sneezes)
- Please, continue.
- But please do touch this buzzer after.
- Everyone else has mastered
the crook in the arm--
God damn it!
- If you come near me, I'll spit on you.
- Just a friendly competition.
Players, what do you
think about this logo?
Trapp.
- Actually, it's too
close to the HGTV logo.
- Yes, it is too close to HGTV.
Very good!
I have played practice rounds of this
and no one has gotten that.
- Well no one is Mike Trapp.
Except me.
- Yeah insufferable.
- Players, what about this logo?
Trapp.
- That's too close to the Toblerone.
- It is too close to the Toblerone.
- And Sam, oh my God look at
daddy mountain over there.
- Oh, daddy mountain now.
- Hard as a rock, he's fucking huge.
- Oh, fuck, chunks of
nougat stuck in my teeth.
- Thousands of climbers a year die
because he's so fucking hot.
- [Rekha] Fuck! Give me the big size!
- [Grant] Yeah, Yeah!
I'm gonna fall down a big crevice.
- Yeah give me the hexagon.
- That is the end of our first mini game.
The points headed into round two are,
Trapp with eight points, Grant with eight,
Rekha with seven.
Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me lemon parmesan.
Mmm!
- You know, Italian food frequently
makes use of both lemon
juice and Parmesan cheese.
- This is true.
And you seem like a man who is busy.
A busy man with an important job.
Probably grew up around Crumbly square.
And you don't have time
to juice those lemons
and grate that Parmesan.
You need to combine those all into
one and save time with lemon Parmesan.
- Fair enough.
Grant, you may ask one follow up question.
- Would you take a bite?
- Grant, this is a fabulous product
that I stand by 100% of the way.
Of course I will take a bite of this.
- Now that, that's good eatin.
- Rekha, you have a follow
up question if you want it.
- Would you take another bite?
- Rekha, I'm not gonna lie.
This is a delicious product
that everyone can enjoy.
Not only will I take another bite.
- It smells so good.
- Here we go.
It's tangy.
It's (mumble).
It's got that hint of citrus zest that
just brightens the whole thing up.
- Oh, God.
Oh, God.
That's three points for
Trapp, Jesus Christ.
- [Grant] Oh my word.
- Oh, I'm sorry Trapp.
- I'm not. It's a delicious product.
That everyone could enjoy.
- Grant.
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a middle finger Bonsai tree.
- Okay.
It's 2019 and I feel
weighted down with hate.
With negativity.
With sadness.
- He's gonna fucking cry.
- I need to get it out of myself.
To not have that in my heart,
in my brain, in my soul.
But there's nothing in
my home that I can put
that energy into to get
it outside of myself.
My goodness, this bush.
I give to you, bush, all of my anger.
Will you carry it for me?
- Grant, that was an
unbelievable performance
and a terrible pitch.
Trapp, follow up question.
- Would you take a bite?
- Sure.
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Don't, don't.
- [Rekha] Grant, please don't!
Grant!
I guess just don't swallow it right?
Because it's probably
covered in paint and shit.
- [Sam] Don't swallow it.
- Don't swallow it.
- It's definitely plastic.
- Yeah don't swallow it.
- Grant.
- Great.
- Why didn't you expect
us to eat the props?
- [Sam] Rekha, follow up question.
- Okay, here's a question.
Say I'm depressed.
But I can't take care of a plant.
I feel like it might be a high
maintenance kind of thing to have.
- Well this glue and
styrofoam as I found out.
So it can't die because
it was never alive.
- Wow and that's really relatable.
- Anyway that's two points for Grant.
Rekha.
You have until I cut you off
to sell me a pubic hair paintbrush.
- Sam, where'd you grow up?
- Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Is there a lot of art there?
- There is.
It's an arty community.
- Do you consider yourself an artist?
- I'd like to think I am.
- Yeah.
It can be hard to like
get yourself on the page.
- Totally, totally.
- Not with this.
With the pubic hair brush,
there's a direct line
between yourself and the page.
Using only the coarsest, finest stinkiest
of your own pubic hair.
Paint yourself the picture of
yourself that you wanna be.
- Love that.
Trapp, follow up question?
- Yeah. Could I also--
Grant's pitch for this last product mostly
revolved around screaming
obscenities at a bush.
Could I also do the same
thing with this product?
- This is a bush.
- That's what I'm saying.
- Grant, follow up question.
- Where'd you get the pubes?
- Homegrown baby.
- Oh, hell yeah.
- You can tell, look at the color.
- Well done Rekha, two points for you.
- Thank you.
- Trapp, you have until I cut you off
to sell me a keyboard that is all P's.
Mmmm!
P.
- Sam, don't you feel
like in our modern world,
we are sometimes bombarded with choices?
You've got the big four
streaming services.
Netflix, Disney+, Hulu,
and of course Dropout.
For every product you go
to the toothpaste aisle
and it's like there's Total Control,
there's Whitening, there's frosting.
Over and over again you're
bombarded with choices.
Wouldn't it be easier,
wouldn't it be nicer even,
to have those choices narrowed down.
To have curated selection just for you.
And that's what the P keyboard offers you.
It's only the best letter of the alphabet.
No choices to make, but the freedom to put
your fingers wherever they want.
- I have a follow up question for you.
- Yes?
- Why is P the best
letter of the alphabet?
- Cause it's perfect.
- Oh, fuck!
God damn!
- What is a lower case
b but an upside down P.
- Wow.
- What is a lower case
q, but a moved around P.
- What is a lower case d?
The list goes on.
- I'm impressed.
Rekha, follow up question?
- Yes. If I wanted to write a
simple email on this keyboard,
something that said, hi,
did you get the memo? Rekha.
What would that look like?
- P-p-p-p-p-p-p.
- Three points for Trapp.
Back to your podium sir.
That was very impressive.
Grant, you have until I
cut you off to sell me
flavored toilet paper.
[Trapp] Yum Bum.
- Sam, if you're like
me, you eat a lot of ass.
You find someone to kneel
on your bed, on your floor,
you know, face down ass up.
That's the way I like to eat ass.
I just go to town, my friend.
I get my tongue so far up somebody,
it's like I'm tasting their tonsils.
I get so deep in there,
I'm gonna burn myself with stomach acid.
But every once in awhile, you
get a little piece of shit.
You're working with a butt, that's okay.
You can't get freaked out by it.
You've got to stay focused on the task.
But I don't like it.
I'm not thrilled when it happens.
Flavored toilet paper, sure,
you'll still have little pieces
of shit in your mouth from
the butt that you're eating.
But now it's gonna
taste like strawberries.
- And that motto has
guided Grant's whole life.
- Trapp, follow up question.
- I'm wondering why this is a
better product than a shower?
- Uh baby, ain't no time.
- I had my ears closed for some of that,
but I've never seen this crew laugh
so much so far this game.
So, Grant, three points.
- Bang, bang.
- [Rekha] Wow. Bum bum.
- Bum bum.
- There's only 15
calories in a whole roll.
- I mean that's actually pretty good.
- Rekha, you have till
I cut you off to sell me
a toaster that burns an
image of James Spader.
- James Spader.
- Star of The Black List.
- The Black List.
Have you ever seen The Black List?
- I have, as a matter of fact.
- I venture to say and I'm just
polling kinda everyone here,
most people don't watch it.
- Let me ask you a follow up question.
Where'd you grow up?
- I grew up in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
- Is there a lot of memorable
people from your town?
- There's a few.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck.
- So those are kind of
like exceptions right?
It's like kinda hard to
live up to that right?
- How do you like them apples?
- Rekha.
- So, something that I kind
of feel bad about, you know,
you growing up in this time,
it makes me sick at night.
- Yeah.
- Thinking that like, oh my God.
You, the countless other
talented people from
Cambridge, Mass, could be forgotten.
- True.
- Isn't that a fear you have?
Am I remembering?
- Sure, like a fear of our very mortality.
- So you could build up
this whole comedy company
from nothing and kind of just
wither away and be forgotten.
- Yeah, totally.
Yeah that's a fear.
- So introducing the Spader toaster.
- Let her finish, let her finish.
- Bring it on home.
- What if people who are
forgotten, like James Spader,
could actually be ingrained,
in grained, into toast.
- Grant.
- What are your top five
James Spader performances?
- Oh my God, I'm so glad you asked.
Blacklist episode one.
Blacklist episode two.
Blacklist episode three, four and five.
- Rekha, that was a impassioned pitch.
Two points.
- But what if?
- I will give you the opportunity
to come back in the next mini game.
Our scores heading into that mini game are
Trapp with 14 points, Grant
with 13, Rekha with 11.
Players, in addition to a
new logo for Game Changer,
I really wanna come up with a new tagline.
Without sounding too ambitious.
I really wanna create one of the
most memorable taglines in history.
I really want something that just
sounds perfect on the tongue.
You know, something that
melts in your mouth.
- But not in your hand.
- That's a point for Grant.
- Bang!
- Nice.
- I could pay a writer
to write one for me.
Obviously, you know, but there are some
things money can't buy.
- For everything else,
there's Master Card.
- That is correct.
That is a point for Trapp.
- Oooh I'm not gonna be good at this.
- Maybe I should reach out
to my friend in marketing,
she's great at this.
I don't know where she
gets that kind of talent.
Maybe she's born with it.
- Maybe it's Maybelline.
- It's illegal.
- That's a point for Grant.
A good tagline should sit
right next to a good logo.
You know, like a good neighbor.
Rekha.
- State Farm is there.
- That's right, that's a point for Rekha.
- Thank you.
- A good logo and a good tagline should
just pair perfectly together.
You know, double your pleasure.
Rekha.
- Statement is the great
mint, of Doublemint gum.
- What was that?
- It's the statement of the
great mint the Doublemint gum.
Double your pleasure, double your fun.
It's the statement of the (mumbles)
Why do you keep making me say it?
- Because you didn't say double your fun.
- You said it, you said it.
- No, you fucking know what I mean.
- That's a point for Rekha.
- What else is would be the
statement of a great mint?
- Do TV shows have good taglines though?
- I'm struggling to think of any.
Then again, you know,
it's the internet right?
It's not TV.
Grant.
- It's HBO.
- That's a point for Grant.
You'd think this would be easy, right?
I mean marketing is everywhere.
It's practically what America runs on.
Rekha.
- Dunkin Donuts.
- That is correct.
Point for Rekha.
Am I over thinking this?
Maybe I should gamble on one you know.
Like what happens in Vegas.
Grant.
- Stays in Vegas.
- That's a point for Grant.
Or maybe I should just go
ahead and pick a tagline,
you know, be a quicker picker.
Grant.
- Upper, Bounty.
- That is correct.
That is a point for Grant.
- You know I really should probably just.
- Do it, Nike.
- That point goes to Rekha.
That's it for us here at Game Changer.
The final score is Trapp with 15 points.
Grant with 18, Rekha with 15.
Grant, that means you are
our winner here today.
Very well done.
In order to balance out
this very commercial episode
you win an annual membership
to a botanical garden
that I actually happen
to love a great deal.
- That's fantastic.
- That's gorgeous!
- That's wonderful.
- Yeah. That's a good prize.
- [Rekha] That's really nice.
- That's it for us here at Game Changer.
I'm Sam Reich reminding you
that nothing solves insert
problem here quite like
insert product here.
Goodnight.
[Grant] Hey I got a place
you could insert the product.