Fuller House (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - New Kids in the House - full transcript
Kimmy and Stephanie have an epic surprise planned for DJ's 39th birthday, but things don't go as planned.
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
(SINGING) La, la la la la la Ooh
Whatever happened
to predictability?
The milkman, the
paperboy The evening TV
Ooh
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a heart, a
hand to hold onto
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face Of
somebody who needs you
There's a heart
Everywhere you look
Yeah
When you're lost out
there And you're all alone
A light is waiting
to carry you home
Everywhere you look
La, la la la la la Oh...
Tommy, can you believe your
mom is 39 years old today?
I know. I don't
look a day over 17.
Don't give me that
look, just go with it.
Oh, I told you
all to ignore my...
ALL: Get out!
- I like carrot cake.
- ALL: Get out!
Out.
I thought we agreed
to no party this year.
Well, you agreed. Not us.
What? You nodded when I said it.
I have a medical condition.
Nodding neck syndrome.
Look, we found your
secret dream board
of things you wanna
do before you turn 40.
Hey, that was
hidden under my bed.
If you wanted to
keep it a secret,
you shouldn't have said
where it was in your diary.
You read my diary?
It helps me sleep.
So, these are your dreams.
"Skydiving." Oh, please.
I'm gonna do it!
As soon as I get over
my fear of heights.
And planes.
And a man attached to my back.
"Coffee with Ryan Gosling."
It could happen.
I wouldn't mind Ryan
Gosling attached to my back.
But number one on the
D.J. Tanner dream board,
"Front row seats to
New Kids on the Block."
Well, of course. I mean,
I'm their biggest Blockhead.
What are these?
Three front row
seats for tonight!
(GASPING AND EXCLAIMING)
Oh, Mylanta!
Oh, Mylanta! Oh, Mylanta!
Wow! A triple "Mylanta"?
I haven't heard one of those
since your wedding night.
How did you get these?
Now, I don't want you to think
about how much they cost.
Let's just say my kidney
is no longer my own.
- Ah! Oh, you guys are the best!
- Aw!
We love you. You've been
my best friend since I was five.
Yeah, and you've been my
best friend since I was born.
D.J.: Aw!
It's hugging time!
Oh, I have to go pick
out my outfit for tonight.
ALL: (SINGING) Oh, oh,
oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
(EXCLAIMING AND LAUGHING)
I feel like a teenager again.
Except when my
knees click on the stairs.
Let me see.
Uh... Kimmy?
These tickets look funny.
And why do they say
"New Kids on the Clock"?
Oh. I'm sure that's
just a misprint.
Where did you get these?
I found a guy online.
These tickets are counterfeit.
What?
Are you kidding me? Ugh!
That's the last time I trust a guy
whose office is a gas station bathroom.
Man, what are we gonna do?
I guess we have
to tell D.J. the truth.
I love you guys so
much. Best birthday ever!
Well, what else you got?
How are we gonna fit 39
candles on one cupcake?
- We're not.
- But that's how old she is.
You know nothing about women.
This is so exciting!
(SPEAKING SPANISH RAPIDLY)
Not to boast, but my
birthday present to D.J.
is going to make your
gifts look like chopped liver.
Stephanie?
Kimmy.
So? Did you find
three more tickets?
Better. I got us a meeting
with New Kids on the Block.
Are you sure you don't just
mean New Kids on the Clock?
Anyway, I'm gonna ask
them for front row tickets.
Because I'm president of the Blockheads
For New Kids Fan Club International.
- You just made that up.
- They don't know that. Shh!
- Can I help you?
- Yes, we have a meeting with the band.
What kind of meeting starts at a
red light in the middle of traffic?
I asked the very same question.
Uh, no, uh-uh, uh-uh,
no, no, no, no... Out!
- Back, back...
- Scoot over? Just a little bit.
- I'm calling the police right now.
- Not on this phone.
- Fetch.
- Oh!
If you've cracked my
screen, you're in real trouble.
Kimmy...
Locking the doors.
This is going way
better than I thought!
Get ready, Steph,
it's about to get weird.
About to?
Are you decent,
boys? I hope not.
(GASPS) It's New
Kids on the Block!
(SCREAMS)
Hi, guys, you don't
know me, but I'm...
Kimmy Gibbler.
Wait, how do you know her?
Well, I may have followed the
band on tour now and again.
She got caught stealing some
of our laundry from a hotel room.
I wasn't stealing your laundry,
I was fluffing it. And folding it.
And wearing it.
Hey, where's Donnie?
He's solving a murder.
On Blue Bloods. Friday.
CBS. 10:00/9:00 Central.
- Anyway, I need a teeny tiny favor...
- She's coming in! Close the divider!
- Wait... Um...
- Okay, go, sorry... Ooh...
(CHOKING)
(GASPS) How rude!
Uh... Is there any way we
could possibly please get
three front row
tickets for tonight?
Did I mention I'm president
of the Blockheads for New
Kids Fan Club International?
- That doesn't exist.
- You don't know that.
Sorry, girls, the show
is completely sold out.
(CHUCKLES) Well, we tried. Now,
can you please release my head?
Hold on.
Uh, how about this? Your
sound check isn't until 5:00,
so would you guys mind
swinging by our house
and singing Happy
Birthday to your biggest fan?
We really don't swing by
houses on the way to shows.
We don't do that.
Please. Please. If you
do us this one favor,
I swear Kimmy Gibbler will never
bother you or your underwear again.
New Kids huddle.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
All right. We're in.
But only because she's crazy.
Crazy for you, Joey Mclntyre,
social security
number 013-00-6062.
- Yes, thank you. Oh.
- Oh, thank you.
(BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY)
- I can't believe they went for that.
- I can. Jordan has a thing for me.
Uh, no, I don't.
Gotta wrap Mom's jewelry box.
Where's the key?
I hid it someplace fun.
I got the idea from
a Hallmark movie
starring Dean Cain and
the delightful Lori Loughlin.
I saw that!
Dean hid a diamond ring in a glass of
champagne and when Lori found it, she...
She cried.
So did I.
It was her last chance for love.
And she found it.
(BOTH CRYING)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
ALL: It's always open!
Man, D.J. is gonna love my gift.
She is gonna go nuts!
What did you get her?
Oh, uh, an old pillow
I found on eBay.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, you're serious.
Hi, guys!
- Happy birthday!
- Hey, happy birthday!
- Look at you.
- Oh, thank you for coming!
Are you kidding? There's
no way on Earth we'd miss...
Your big day.
- Oh, presents!
- I know you are gonna love mine.
And I really hope
you're gonna...
Like mine, too!
Hey, Mom, ready for
your surprise party.
So, act surprised.
I can do that.
ALL: Surprise!
What? I had no idea!
Oh, you guys are so sneaky!
You really got me this time.
I almost had a heart attack.
Mom, don't overdo it.
Gentlemen, I'm
obliged to tell you
that your gifts will pale
in comparison to mine.
You don't even know
what our gifts are.
Yours are little, mine is big.
Size matters.
ALL: (SINGING)
Happy birthday to you
No, wait, stop.
We can't sing yet.
Why not?
Uh, well, you never
know who might show up.
Now blow out your candle.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
- Open this present first.
- D.J.: Mmm.
It's from me, Max,
Ramona and Tommy.
Although Tommy
"forgot" to chip in.
Oh!
It's a beautiful jewelry box.
Oh, where's the key?
Ah, where indeed?
You'll have to find it.
Oh, okay, my turn.
Here you go, sweetheart.
Oh!
Oh, wow!
Two tennis rackets!
Aw, thank you, honey.
And one of them's for me.
Well, then, happy birthday
to both of us. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, uh, this one's from me.
(GASPS AND SQUEALS)
Oh, It's a pillow person!
Wow, that's creepy.
No, it's not creepy. I had
one just like this growing up.
Oh! Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
I remember you were so sad when
you lost yours at summer camp, so...
Oh, I cried for two weeks,
but now I have another one!
Aw, Steve, you know me so well.
Wow, Steve, you
really hit a home run.
Oh, well, you know,
we go way back, so...
D.J.: Aw...
Enough pillow talk,
I'm about to explode.
Ladies and gentlemen, the
gift you've all been waiting for.
- Don't I get to unwrap...
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Oh, okay. Guess not.
The greatest gift ever given.
Well, thank you.
But why?
Because I won't be living here
forever, and now, in a way, I will be.
You should hang
it over the fireplace.
Better yet, in the fireplace.
Uh, here's a cupcake, Mom.
- It's carrot cake, your favorite.
- Aw.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Oh! We'll get that.
Boy, they are sure
excited about a doorbell.
Oh!
You've found the key!
Are you gonna cry like Lori
Loughlin did in the Hallmark movie?
I think I'm gonna cry because
I've cracked my crown.
Oh!
Oh, this hurts so much.
Are you okay?
No, that's what "Oh, this
hurts so much" means.
I gotta go to my dentist.
I'll drive you, honey,
we'll call him on the way.
I'm sorry, Mom.
It's okay, sweetie,
do not worry about it.
I just... I just wanna get back
in time for the New Kids concert.
Oh! Ow!
So, we're done
talking about my gift?
STEPH: Hey,
everybody, get in here!
Happy birthday!
OMG, it's New Kids on
the Block! (SCREAMING)
I love you guys. I've been listening to
your music ever since I was in the womb.
I didn't have a choice,
but I actually liked it!
Let's do it, guys.
(SINGING) Happy birthday
to you Happy birthday to you
No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop!
- She's not the birthday girl.
- I've got a birthday coming up.
Keep singing, boys!
D.J. cracked a crown. Matt
had to take her to the dentist.
This is her dream-come-true,
once-in-a-lifetime moment
and she's not here?
You guys can wait, right?
Um, not really.
Well, it's just dental surgery. I
mean, how long could that take?
Sorry, we gotta go.
No, no, you don't.
Wait a minute, stop!
Hold on. No. Wait. No, no, no.
New Kids, on the couch.
Go. Go, go. Sit.
Sit, sit. Go.
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)
You're right, Old MacDonald does
sound so much better the fourth time.
That painting is
freaking me out.
And so is the guy next to it.
That dog and that
baby look familiar.
Are they from that video
you sent me, Jordan?
Oh, yeah.
Um, well, yeah, that was
my song. (CHUCKLES)
The Boy Next Door.
You know, I sang it on
Wake Up, USA last week.
It's kind of a big deal.
- Wow, we gotta get a picture.
- Yeah.
I would be
flattered. Absolutely.
Great. Horizontal,
no flash, please.
STEPH: Oh, okay.
Okay, say, "This is
what I get for bragging."
ALL: This is what
you get for bragging.
We better go. We've got
20,000 people counting on us.
Oh. No. No, no, no, no, no, wait,
my best friend is counting on you.
Oh. Please don't go,
boy. Please don't go...
Please don't go.
D.J.'s back.
She's here! She's here!
(LAUGHING) My
dentist is the bestest.
He said because it's my birthday,
I could have two toothbrushes!
Here, Matt. One for
me and one for you.
Is she drunk?
No, better. Heavy pain meds.
Deej, look. It's the
New Kids on the Block.
New Kids on the Block.
We're going tonight.
You guys should come, too.
We're trying.
Oh, I like this.
And I like this.
Oh, I really like this.
Maybe we should wrap this up.
Oh, no, not until they sing
Happy Birthday. Please, guys?
- (SIGHS) Anybody got an iPad?
- Yeah, mine's right there.
Great, thank you.
Uh, Donnie loves to
sing Happy Birthday.
- You got him?
- JOEY: Donnie?
- DONNIE: Joey?
- Yeah. Okay, her name's D.J.
Here we go, guys.
- (SINGING) Happy
birthday to you - Happy, happy
- Happy birthday to
you - Happy, happy
Happy birthday, dear D. J.
- Happy birthday to
you - Happy, happy
- That was awesome.
- Let's get out of here.
(D.J. SNORING)
New Kids, wait! My mom's
broken tooth is all my fault.
Can you please come
back when she wakes up?
(CONTINUES SNORING)
Man, she snores
like a leaf blower.
Sorry, little man.
Hang tough.
Oh! Step by step. (CHUCKLES)
We'll be loving you forever.
At least you guys still have
tickets to the concert tonight.
Well, actually, we don't. The
tickets I bought were counterfeit.
Oh, D.J.'s gonna be devastated.
Mmm... Joey Mclntyre,
you're such a good kisser.
What if the other
New Kids walk in?
Uh... Okay, all
children, leave the room.
All the grown-ups,
let's pull up a chair.
Poor D.J. This birthday
was a complete disaster.
How could anyone be sad
when they own this masterpiece?
(EXHALES) Man, I
really needed that nap.
I just had the weirdest dream. The
New Kids on the Block were here
and one of them was
totally coming onto me.
Sit down.
You need to see this.
Oh, I like this.
And this.
Oh, I really like this.
Wait, what? They
were really here?
And... And... And... And I
rubbed Joey Mclntyre's chest?
ALL: Yes.
Was he into it?
No.
Wait, what were the New Kids
on the Block doing in my house?
We brought them
here to cheer you up.
Because the tickets we
bought were counterfeit.
So, we're not going
to the concert?
No.
We're really sorry.
It's okay.
I was gonna skip
this birthday anyway.
Any cupcakes left?
I just ate the last one.
Ladies, I'm gonna make all
three of you scream with pleasure.
I'd love to see you try.
You are all going to the New
Kids on the Block concert tonight!
- Wait.
- What?
- What are you talking about?
- Matt scored three front row tickets!
(ALL SCREAMING)
That's amazing!
Yo, Steve, I got your text.
What's going on, man?
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Oh, Matt! Thank you!
Uh... You're welcome?
- How did you do it?
- Do what?
Oh, don't be so modest, buddy.
Matt knows the guy
that runs the arena.
He pulled some strings
and sent me to get the tickets.
This guy's a hero!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Why didn't you tell us earlier?
I don't know.
Because he wasn't sure
if it was gonna work out
- and he didn't wanna get your hopes up.
- Oh, is that true?
I don't know.
Matt, you saved my birthday.
Ah! Come on, girls,
let's go get dressed.
Dream boards
really do come true!
Ryan Gosling, you're next.
Thank you, but
I'm totally lost, man.
Okay, so the guy that runs
the arena's a patient of mine
and he owed me a big favor.
I cleared up a wicked
case of toe fungus.
But why?
Oh, because if left untreated,
you could lose the nail.
Why did you give me credit?
All right, well, look, D.J.
loved my birthday gift.
She did.
I mean, I crushed it.
- It's true.
- She was in actual tears!
I was there, Steve.
Look, I felt really bad when
your tennis rackets didn't score big
like my pillow person.
You're an awesome guy, all right. So,
I wanna make sure D.J. thinks so, too.
No, you're the awesome guy.
Should we hug?
Probably.
Oh!
Should we stop?
It's your hug, your decision.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SONG ENDS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hey, there's that stoner chick.
Oh. Hey, San Fran,
there's a special girl in the audience
who's having a really rough birthday,
but we're gonna fix all
that. D. J., come on up here.
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Come on.
Oh... Uh... Oh...
Um...
There were stairs right there,
but that was fun to watch.
Oh, oh!
This is a dream come
true. I don't know what to do!
All I ask is stay
away from my chest.
We're gonna sing
something especially for you.
And try to stay
awake this time, okay?
("PLEASE DON'T GO GIRL" PLAYING)
- (SINGING) Please,
don't go, girl - Yeah-yeah
Please don't go, girl
You would ruin my whole world
Tell me you'll stay
Never ever go away
I love you
- I guess I...
- Always will
And girl
Oh, baby, you're my best friend
Girl, you're my love within
I just want you to know
- That I will always love
you - (SINGING ALONG)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- (EXCLAIMS)
Go, D.J.!
Thank you! Thank you! Oh! Oh!
And I wanna thank my two best
friends for making this happen.
Stephanie, Kimmy,
come up here! (LAUGHS)
We usually decide who comes
up on stage, but, yeah, whatever.
And since Donnie's not
here, I'll sing his parts.
("YOU GOT IT (THE
RIGHT STUFF)" PLAYING)
San Fran, let's go! Hey!
(SINGING) Oh, oh,
oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Come on...
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
The right stuff
First time was a great time
Second time was a blast
Third time I fell in
love Now I hope it lasts
You got the right stuff, baby
Love the way you turn me on
You got the right stuff, baby
You're the reason
why I sing this song
Whoo!
All that I needed was you
Oh, girl, you're so right
And all that I wanted was
San Francisco!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Here we go, let's dance!
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Hey! Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
The right stuff
Come on, sing.
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Hey!
The right stuff
Your first kiss was a sweet
kiss Second kiss had a twist
Oh! Oh, oh, can you FaceTime us?
Man, you girls are pushy.
Tell 'em when you talk
See it in everything you
do Even in your thoughts
You got the right stuff, baby
Love the way you turn me on
Look how much
fun they're having.
Yeah, maybe getting
old won't be that bad.
Not if you look like this.
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
The right stuff
- (WHOOPING)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Okay. Thank you.
- Thank you.
All right, just one more.
Just one more. One more.
Thank you!
Just one more! Just one more!
Security?
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English -SDH
(SINGING) La, la la la la la Ooh
Whatever happened
to predictability?
The milkman, the
paperboy The evening TV
Ooh
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a heart, a
hand to hold onto
Everywhere you look
Everywhere you go
There's a face Of
somebody who needs you
There's a heart
Everywhere you look
Yeah
When you're lost out
there And you're all alone
A light is waiting
to carry you home
Everywhere you look
La, la la la la la Oh...
Tommy, can you believe your
mom is 39 years old today?
I know. I don't
look a day over 17.
Don't give me that
look, just go with it.
Oh, I told you
all to ignore my...
ALL: Get out!
- I like carrot cake.
- ALL: Get out!
Out.
I thought we agreed
to no party this year.
Well, you agreed. Not us.
What? You nodded when I said it.
I have a medical condition.
Nodding neck syndrome.
Look, we found your
secret dream board
of things you wanna
do before you turn 40.
Hey, that was
hidden under my bed.
If you wanted to
keep it a secret,
you shouldn't have said
where it was in your diary.
You read my diary?
It helps me sleep.
So, these are your dreams.
"Skydiving." Oh, please.
I'm gonna do it!
As soon as I get over
my fear of heights.
And planes.
And a man attached to my back.
"Coffee with Ryan Gosling."
It could happen.
I wouldn't mind Ryan
Gosling attached to my back.
But number one on the
D.J. Tanner dream board,
"Front row seats to
New Kids on the Block."
Well, of course. I mean,
I'm their biggest Blockhead.
What are these?
Three front row
seats for tonight!
(GASPING AND EXCLAIMING)
Oh, Mylanta!
Oh, Mylanta! Oh, Mylanta!
Wow! A triple "Mylanta"?
I haven't heard one of those
since your wedding night.
How did you get these?
Now, I don't want you to think
about how much they cost.
Let's just say my kidney
is no longer my own.
- Ah! Oh, you guys are the best!
- Aw!
We love you. You've been
my best friend since I was five.
Yeah, and you've been my
best friend since I was born.
D.J.: Aw!
It's hugging time!
Oh, I have to go pick
out my outfit for tonight.
ALL: (SINGING) Oh, oh,
oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
(EXCLAIMING AND LAUGHING)
I feel like a teenager again.
Except when my
knees click on the stairs.
Let me see.
Uh... Kimmy?
These tickets look funny.
And why do they say
"New Kids on the Clock"?
Oh. I'm sure that's
just a misprint.
Where did you get these?
I found a guy online.
These tickets are counterfeit.
What?
Are you kidding me? Ugh!
That's the last time I trust a guy
whose office is a gas station bathroom.
Man, what are we gonna do?
I guess we have
to tell D.J. the truth.
I love you guys so
much. Best birthday ever!
Well, what else you got?
How are we gonna fit 39
candles on one cupcake?
- We're not.
- But that's how old she is.
You know nothing about women.
This is so exciting!
(SPEAKING SPANISH RAPIDLY)
Not to boast, but my
birthday present to D.J.
is going to make your
gifts look like chopped liver.
Stephanie?
Kimmy.
So? Did you find
three more tickets?
Better. I got us a meeting
with New Kids on the Block.
Are you sure you don't just
mean New Kids on the Clock?
Anyway, I'm gonna ask
them for front row tickets.
Because I'm president of the Blockheads
For New Kids Fan Club International.
- You just made that up.
- They don't know that. Shh!
- Can I help you?
- Yes, we have a meeting with the band.
What kind of meeting starts at a
red light in the middle of traffic?
I asked the very same question.
Uh, no, uh-uh, uh-uh,
no, no, no, no... Out!
- Back, back...
- Scoot over? Just a little bit.
- I'm calling the police right now.
- Not on this phone.
- Fetch.
- Oh!
If you've cracked my
screen, you're in real trouble.
Kimmy...
Locking the doors.
This is going way
better than I thought!
Get ready, Steph,
it's about to get weird.
About to?
Are you decent,
boys? I hope not.
(GASPS) It's New
Kids on the Block!
(SCREAMS)
Hi, guys, you don't
know me, but I'm...
Kimmy Gibbler.
Wait, how do you know her?
Well, I may have followed the
band on tour now and again.
She got caught stealing some
of our laundry from a hotel room.
I wasn't stealing your laundry,
I was fluffing it. And folding it.
And wearing it.
Hey, where's Donnie?
He's solving a murder.
On Blue Bloods. Friday.
CBS. 10:00/9:00 Central.
- Anyway, I need a teeny tiny favor...
- She's coming in! Close the divider!
- Wait... Um...
- Okay, go, sorry... Ooh...
(CHOKING)
(GASPS) How rude!
Uh... Is there any way we
could possibly please get
three front row
tickets for tonight?
Did I mention I'm president
of the Blockheads for New
Kids Fan Club International?
- That doesn't exist.
- You don't know that.
Sorry, girls, the show
is completely sold out.
(CHUCKLES) Well, we tried. Now,
can you please release my head?
Hold on.
Uh, how about this? Your
sound check isn't until 5:00,
so would you guys mind
swinging by our house
and singing Happy
Birthday to your biggest fan?
We really don't swing by
houses on the way to shows.
We don't do that.
Please. Please. If you
do us this one favor,
I swear Kimmy Gibbler will never
bother you or your underwear again.
New Kids huddle.
(INDISTINCT WHISPERING)
All right. We're in.
But only because she's crazy.
Crazy for you, Joey Mclntyre,
social security
number 013-00-6062.
- Yes, thank you. Oh.
- Oh, thank you.
(BOTH EXHALE DEEPLY)
- I can't believe they went for that.
- I can. Jordan has a thing for me.
Uh, no, I don't.
Gotta wrap Mom's jewelry box.
Where's the key?
I hid it someplace fun.
I got the idea from
a Hallmark movie
starring Dean Cain and
the delightful Lori Loughlin.
I saw that!
Dean hid a diamond ring in a glass of
champagne and when Lori found it, she...
She cried.
So did I.
It was her last chance for love.
And she found it.
(BOTH CRYING)
(DOORBELL RINGS)
ALL: It's always open!
Man, D.J. is gonna love my gift.
She is gonna go nuts!
What did you get her?
Oh, uh, an old pillow
I found on eBay.
(LAUGHING)
Oh, you're serious.
Hi, guys!
- Happy birthday!
- Hey, happy birthday!
- Look at you.
- Oh, thank you for coming!
Are you kidding? There's
no way on Earth we'd miss...
Your big day.
- Oh, presents!
- I know you are gonna love mine.
And I really hope
you're gonna...
Like mine, too!
Hey, Mom, ready for
your surprise party.
So, act surprised.
I can do that.
ALL: Surprise!
What? I had no idea!
Oh, you guys are so sneaky!
You really got me this time.
I almost had a heart attack.
Mom, don't overdo it.
Gentlemen, I'm
obliged to tell you
that your gifts will pale
in comparison to mine.
You don't even know
what our gifts are.
Yours are little, mine is big.
Size matters.
ALL: (SINGING)
Happy birthday to you
No, wait, stop.
We can't sing yet.
Why not?
Uh, well, you never
know who might show up.
Now blow out your candle.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
- Open this present first.
- D.J.: Mmm.
It's from me, Max,
Ramona and Tommy.
Although Tommy
"forgot" to chip in.
Oh!
It's a beautiful jewelry box.
Oh, where's the key?
Ah, where indeed?
You'll have to find it.
Oh, okay, my turn.
Here you go, sweetheart.
Oh!
Oh, wow!
Two tennis rackets!
Aw, thank you, honey.
And one of them's for me.
Well, then, happy birthday
to both of us. (CHUCKLES)
Oh, uh, this one's from me.
(GASPS AND SQUEALS)
Oh, It's a pillow person!
Wow, that's creepy.
No, it's not creepy. I had
one just like this growing up.
Oh! Thank you,
thank you, thank you!
I remember you were so sad when
you lost yours at summer camp, so...
Oh, I cried for two weeks,
but now I have another one!
Aw, Steve, you know me so well.
Wow, Steve, you
really hit a home run.
Oh, well, you know,
we go way back, so...
D.J.: Aw...
Enough pillow talk,
I'm about to explode.
Ladies and gentlemen, the
gift you've all been waiting for.
- Don't I get to unwrap...
- Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Oh, okay. Guess not.
The greatest gift ever given.
Well, thank you.
But why?
Because I won't be living here
forever, and now, in a way, I will be.
You should hang
it over the fireplace.
Better yet, in the fireplace.
Uh, here's a cupcake, Mom.
- It's carrot cake, your favorite.
- Aw.
- (DOORBELL RINGS)
- Oh! We'll get that.
Boy, they are sure
excited about a doorbell.
Oh!
You've found the key!
Are you gonna cry like Lori
Loughlin did in the Hallmark movie?
I think I'm gonna cry because
I've cracked my crown.
Oh!
Oh, this hurts so much.
Are you okay?
No, that's what "Oh, this
hurts so much" means.
I gotta go to my dentist.
I'll drive you, honey,
we'll call him on the way.
I'm sorry, Mom.
It's okay, sweetie,
do not worry about it.
I just... I just wanna get back
in time for the New Kids concert.
Oh! Ow!
So, we're done
talking about my gift?
STEPH: Hey,
everybody, get in here!
Happy birthday!
OMG, it's New Kids on
the Block! (SCREAMING)
I love you guys. I've been listening to
your music ever since I was in the womb.
I didn't have a choice,
but I actually liked it!
Let's do it, guys.
(SINGING) Happy birthday
to you Happy birthday to you
No, no, no, no, no. Stop, stop!
- She's not the birthday girl.
- I've got a birthday coming up.
Keep singing, boys!
D.J. cracked a crown. Matt
had to take her to the dentist.
This is her dream-come-true,
once-in-a-lifetime moment
and she's not here?
You guys can wait, right?
Um, not really.
Well, it's just dental surgery. I
mean, how long could that take?
Sorry, we gotta go.
No, no, you don't.
Wait a minute, stop!
Hold on. No. Wait. No, no, no.
New Kids, on the couch.
Go. Go, go. Sit.
Sit, sit. Go.
(PLAYING OFF-KEY)
You're right, Old MacDonald does
sound so much better the fourth time.
That painting is
freaking me out.
And so is the guy next to it.
That dog and that
baby look familiar.
Are they from that video
you sent me, Jordan?
Oh, yeah.
Um, well, yeah, that was
my song. (CHUCKLES)
The Boy Next Door.
You know, I sang it on
Wake Up, USA last week.
It's kind of a big deal.
- Wow, we gotta get a picture.
- Yeah.
I would be
flattered. Absolutely.
Great. Horizontal,
no flash, please.
STEPH: Oh, okay.
Okay, say, "This is
what I get for bragging."
ALL: This is what
you get for bragging.
We better go. We've got
20,000 people counting on us.
Oh. No. No, no, no, no, no, wait,
my best friend is counting on you.
Oh. Please don't go,
boy. Please don't go...
Please don't go.
D.J.'s back.
She's here! She's here!
(LAUGHING) My
dentist is the bestest.
He said because it's my birthday,
I could have two toothbrushes!
Here, Matt. One for
me and one for you.
Is she drunk?
No, better. Heavy pain meds.
Deej, look. It's the
New Kids on the Block.
New Kids on the Block.
We're going tonight.
You guys should come, too.
We're trying.
Oh, I like this.
And I like this.
Oh, I really like this.
Maybe we should wrap this up.
Oh, no, not until they sing
Happy Birthday. Please, guys?
- (SIGHS) Anybody got an iPad?
- Yeah, mine's right there.
Great, thank you.
Uh, Donnie loves to
sing Happy Birthday.
- You got him?
- JOEY: Donnie?
- DONNIE: Joey?
- Yeah. Okay, her name's D.J.
Here we go, guys.
- (SINGING) Happy
birthday to you - Happy, happy
- Happy birthday to
you - Happy, happy
Happy birthday, dear D. J.
- Happy birthday to
you - Happy, happy
- That was awesome.
- Let's get out of here.
(D.J. SNORING)
New Kids, wait! My mom's
broken tooth is all my fault.
Can you please come
back when she wakes up?
(CONTINUES SNORING)
Man, she snores
like a leaf blower.
Sorry, little man.
Hang tough.
Oh! Step by step. (CHUCKLES)
We'll be loving you forever.
At least you guys still have
tickets to the concert tonight.
Well, actually, we don't. The
tickets I bought were counterfeit.
Oh, D.J.'s gonna be devastated.
Mmm... Joey Mclntyre,
you're such a good kisser.
What if the other
New Kids walk in?
Uh... Okay, all
children, leave the room.
All the grown-ups,
let's pull up a chair.
Poor D.J. This birthday
was a complete disaster.
How could anyone be sad
when they own this masterpiece?
(EXHALES) Man, I
really needed that nap.
I just had the weirdest dream. The
New Kids on the Block were here
and one of them was
totally coming onto me.
Sit down.
You need to see this.
Oh, I like this.
And this.
Oh, I really like this.
Wait, what? They
were really here?
And... And... And... And I
rubbed Joey Mclntyre's chest?
ALL: Yes.
Was he into it?
No.
Wait, what were the New Kids
on the Block doing in my house?
We brought them
here to cheer you up.
Because the tickets we
bought were counterfeit.
So, we're not going
to the concert?
No.
We're really sorry.
It's okay.
I was gonna skip
this birthday anyway.
Any cupcakes left?
I just ate the last one.
Ladies, I'm gonna make all
three of you scream with pleasure.
I'd love to see you try.
You are all going to the New
Kids on the Block concert tonight!
- Wait.
- What?
- What are you talking about?
- Matt scored three front row tickets!
(ALL SCREAMING)
That's amazing!
Yo, Steve, I got your text.
What's going on, man?
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Oh, Matt! Thank you!
Uh... You're welcome?
- How did you do it?
- Do what?
Oh, don't be so modest, buddy.
Matt knows the guy
that runs the arena.
He pulled some strings
and sent me to get the tickets.
This guy's a hero!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Why didn't you tell us earlier?
I don't know.
Because he wasn't sure
if it was gonna work out
- and he didn't wanna get your hopes up.
- Oh, is that true?
I don't know.
Matt, you saved my birthday.
Ah! Come on, girls,
let's go get dressed.
Dream boards
really do come true!
Ryan Gosling, you're next.
Thank you, but
I'm totally lost, man.
Okay, so the guy that runs
the arena's a patient of mine
and he owed me a big favor.
I cleared up a wicked
case of toe fungus.
But why?
Oh, because if left untreated,
you could lose the nail.
Why did you give me credit?
All right, well, look, D.J.
loved my birthday gift.
She did.
I mean, I crushed it.
- It's true.
- She was in actual tears!
I was there, Steve.
Look, I felt really bad when
your tennis rackets didn't score big
like my pillow person.
You're an awesome guy, all right. So,
I wanna make sure D.J. thinks so, too.
No, you're the awesome guy.
Should we hug?
Probably.
Oh!
Should we stop?
It's your hug, your decision.
(MUSIC PLAYING)
(SONG ENDS)
(CROWD CHEERING)
Hey, there's that stoner chick.
Oh. Hey, San Fran,
there's a special girl in the audience
who's having a really rough birthday,
but we're gonna fix all
that. D. J., come on up here.
- (ALL EXCLAIMING)
- Come on.
Oh... Uh... Oh...
Um...
There were stairs right there,
but that was fun to watch.
Oh, oh!
This is a dream come
true. I don't know what to do!
All I ask is stay
away from my chest.
We're gonna sing
something especially for you.
And try to stay
awake this time, okay?
("PLEASE DON'T GO GIRL" PLAYING)
- (SINGING) Please,
don't go, girl - Yeah-yeah
Please don't go, girl
You would ruin my whole world
Tell me you'll stay
Never ever go away
I love you
- I guess I...
- Always will
And girl
Oh, baby, you're my best friend
Girl, you're my love within
I just want you to know
- That I will always love
you - (SINGING ALONG)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
- (EXCLAIMS)
Go, D.J.!
Thank you! Thank you! Oh! Oh!
And I wanna thank my two best
friends for making this happen.
Stephanie, Kimmy,
come up here! (LAUGHS)
We usually decide who comes
up on stage, but, yeah, whatever.
And since Donnie's not
here, I'll sing his parts.
("YOU GOT IT (THE
RIGHT STUFF)" PLAYING)
San Fran, let's go! Hey!
(SINGING) Oh, oh,
oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Come on...
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
The right stuff
First time was a great time
Second time was a blast
Third time I fell in
love Now I hope it lasts
You got the right stuff, baby
Love the way you turn me on
You got the right stuff, baby
You're the reason
why I sing this song
Whoo!
All that I needed was you
Oh, girl, you're so right
And all that I wanted was
San Francisco!
(CROWD CHEERING)
Here we go, let's dance!
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Hey! Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh
The right stuff
Come on, sing.
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Hey!
The right stuff
Your first kiss was a sweet
kiss Second kiss had a twist
Oh! Oh, oh, can you FaceTime us?
Man, you girls are pushy.
Tell 'em when you talk
See it in everything you
do Even in your thoughts
You got the right stuff, baby
Love the way you turn me on
Look how much
fun they're having.
Yeah, maybe getting
old won't be that bad.
Not if you look like this.
Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh
The right stuff
- (WHOOPING)
- (CROWD CHEERING)
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Okay. Thank you.
- Thank you.
All right, just one more.
Just one more. One more.
Thank you!
Just one more! Just one more!
Security?
(THEME SONG PLAYING)
English -SDH