Fuller House (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 10 - A Giant Leap - full transcript

Okay, Cosmo.

Shake.

Good boy!

See how easy it is?

Tommy, shake.

Good boy!

Max, what are you up to?

Training Tommy to do tricks.

Why does his breath smell like Pup-Peroni?

Because he wouldn't eat the Snausages.

I got that. I got it.



Look, I just started dating this guy.

Everybody, just please act normal.

But it's Hunter Pence.
He's my favorite San Francisco Giant.

The man's won two World Series.

Just don't embarrass me, okay?

- Hi!
- Hi!

Cheese!

Hunter, I apologize.
This is my family not embarrassing me.

I don't know what all the fuss is about.
I'm just a regular guy.

I put on my uniform two legs at a time.

Don't you mean one leg at a time?

No. I stand on my bed
and jump right into them.

It's a pleasure to meet you, Underpants.

It's Hunter Pence.



Really?

That's disappointing.

Well, sit. Sit, sit.
Oh, it's so nice to have you.

You and Stephanie make the cutest couple.

And Stephanie
is the nicest person I've ever met.

How was that?

Except where you asked me how it was,
it was great.

It's so awesome your lifetime
batting average is .284.

Right, Steph?

Right.

I'm delighted to meet all of you guys.

And you kids, you're so lucky to have
Stephanie as your aunt.

Did I get that right, Steph?

Okay, look, I wanted this to go well.

Hunter, I read online
that you eat pizza with a fork.

Don't trust anything you read online,

except for that!

I've got my special pizza fork
right here at all times.

Check that out.

Isn't he the cutest?

I just get lost
in those big old crazy eyes.

I only have crazy eyes for you.

Aw...

Well, this is so nice of you
to invite us all to the game today.

Oh, here are your tickets.

You don't want to miss Stephanie singing
during the Seventh Inning Stretch.

And thanks for hooking this up,
but it's a little terrifying.

You said you want a singing career.

I was thinking more an open mic night
at a deserted coffee house.

Hey, you're singing "Take Me Out to
the Ball Game" to people at a ball game.

It's the happiest moment in baseball.

Except for when you take your cup off
after a doubleheader.

Don't I know it.

Mr. Hunter Pence, sir.

I have show-and-tell on Monday.

Could you please hit me a foul ball?

I'm in a bit of a slump right now,
so I can't promise you anything.

But I will give it my best shot.
How about that?

Yeah.

You know, I'm starting to think
your slump is my fault.

- You haven't got a hit since we've dated.
- Oh, my gosh!

You're the mystery blonde.

You're the jinx.
Oh, it's all over the Internet.

You're the jinx?

Hey, guys.

It's not Stephanie's fault.
I'm the one swinging the bat.

Speaking of swinging the bat,
you're a tad late on the fastball.

- And dropping your right elbow.
- You're swinging at garbage.

- I'll let our batting coach know.
- You have a batting coach?

Better fire that guy.

- Alright, I'll see you later.
- Alright, see you later.

Hunter Pence! Dude, you are the greatest.

Man, finally, a real fan.

Oh, my God. Oh, hey, man.
I played some Little League.

From one All-Star to another,
choke up on that bat.

I'll leave the tickets
at Will Call next time.

I just came by to pick up my ticket.

Yeah. Here you go, Matt.

We will see you at the seats.

Oh, sweet. Okay, great.
I will see all of you guys there.

- Bye.
- Bye, Matt!

Oh, I forgot, there's one more thing
I need to talk to you about.

Wow! Well, I remembered that thing
that I need to talk to you about.

Oh, we were... We were just talking
about animal clinic business stuff.

Mom, you like him.

Would it bother you boys if I did?

- No. Matt's cool.
- I like him.

I'm not your kid, but I like him, too.

Tommy, what do you think?

He's not a
three-time All-Star, but he's okay.

Wow, I'm so glad that the kids are cool
with Matt. Because he is kind of great.

Have you mentioned this to Steve?
He might not think Matt's so great.

I know.

I've been avoiding this for too long.

I'm going to go tell Steve
that I'm interested in someone else.

I mean, we haven't dated in 20 years.
It'll be fine.

Can you guys tell him for me?

I'll tell him.
Sorry, Steve. Mom likes another dude.

So since Lola's coming
to the game with us,

can you make me look good
by laughing when I say something funny?

Sure, if that ever happens.

Come on. This is important to me.

Fine, I'll be your wing girl.
Just try to be cool.

J-Money don't try. J-Money is.

What? You told me to laugh
if you said something funny... J-Money.

Aw, this was so fun.

This is Cosmo's first walk
with his doggy mom.

We should walk our dogs together
every morning.

And every night.
Hey, let's just move in together.

You know, for the dogs.

Do you have a minute to chat?

I gotta meet friends later, but sure.

Sit.

Good dogs. Good Steve.

You know, I know we've been spending
a lot of time together lately.

And it's been great. But I...

Isn't it crazy
how fate has brought us back together?

You hear about couples
who were each other's first loves

and later in life,
they find their way back to each other.

Ah, you're such a romantic.
That's one of the things I love about you.

What are some other things?

I could be late.

I love that you always make me laugh.

And I love that we're still friends.

I gotta be honest, since we've been
hanging out again like this,

all these old feelings are coming back.

What about you?

Well, of course I still care about you.

I feel exactly the same way.

Hey, Deej, I wonder
if we still have the old chemistry.

- Oh, I don't know.
- Well, let's find out.

That was our first kiss since high school.

I feel like we're back
underneath the bleachers again.

Oh, you were pretty fun.

I'm a lot more fun now.

I mean, that kiss... That was really nice.
But we could do a whole lot better.

- Steve, I can't.
- Sure you can. Watch.

Whoa.

She is really letting him down easy.

Yeah, he seems to be taking
the bad news pretty well.

- Whoa.
- Wow.

See, I told you we could do better.

Well, um, I should get going.

Yeah, I guess you should.

Okay. But, um,
we will kiss about this later.

Have you seen my dog?

Comet?

Here she comes.

Kimmy, you realize
there's no coffee in that pot?

Oh. Yeah, I'm cutting back on my caffeine.

You guys saw our little kiss goodbye, huh?

Well, we saw the G-rated peck and
then the R-rated full-frontal Frenching.

Well, I was going to tell him about Matt.
And then he kissed me.

And I liked it.

But I just kissed Matt two hours ago.

Oh, my gosh. Am I a floozy?

Anyone who uses the word "floozy"
cannot be a floozy.

Isn't Matt moving back to Miami
in, like, two weeks?

You're right. I mean,
long-distance relationships never work.

I should tell Matt
we should just be friends.

Well, if it goes as well as it did
with Steve, he's a lucky man.

Hey!

Hey, Steph. Your boy Hunter really came
through with some great seats today.

- He's such a doll.
- Pardon me. Excuse me.

Pardon me. Help me, Steph.

Ooh, boy, here we go.
Yes. Ooh, phew. Hi.

Yeah, oh,
security frowns on personal advertising,

but Gibbler Style Party Planning
doesn't play by the rules.

The JumboTron's going to love my Fathead.

Kimmy, I'm just curious.

How many ideas did you go through before
deciding that this was the best one?

Hey, Mom. Can I get something to eat?

Oh, hey, no. You know what? I got
this ticket for free. This is my treat.

Put it on my card.

Aw, thanks, Matt.
Anybody want to get a bite with me?

Oh, get me a hot dog.

Mustard on the left, ketchup
on the right, relish down the middle.

The mustard and ketchup can't touch.

And my drink should be half root beer
and half diet soda, a splash of lemonade.

I call it a Lola-Cola.

Maybe you should just go with him.

Works for me.

Now batting for the Giants,
right fielder, number eight, Hunter Pence.

Go, Pencey, go.

Aw, he cleaned out his ear.
It's our secret signal.

Oh, how romantic. A finger full of wax.

I saw that ear thing.
You're that mystery blonde, ain't you?

You're the jinx. Boo!

Boo, Aunt Stephanie!

Why are you booing me?

I'm a Giant's fan. Hello.

Aw, he struck out again.

You'll get him next time, baby.

Dump her, Hunter!
She's killing you, buddy!

So, you want a hat or something?

Oh, my gosh!

It's an autographed two-time Cy Young
award-winning Tim Lincecum in-game jersey.

He's my favorite pitcher
of the modern era.

We'll take it.

Really? Awesome!

You didn't have to do that.

But I'm kind of glad I did.

- That will be $247.
- Whoa.

No wonder my parents never bought me one.
Are you sure about this?

Oh, yes, yes, yes. No problem.
Just put it on my card.

Sure thing.

Dr. Harmon?

Dr. Matt Harmon.

There's something
I really want to show you.

It's my favorite place in the stadium.
Is that okay?

Sure.

That's how you do it.

Ramona, Jackson just texted me.

He and Lola are watching the game
from the top deck.

Do they want me to come up?

Um, it didn't say that.

Well, I guess this is the thanks I get
for helping Jackson. They ditched me.

Hey, you think you've got problems?

Monday's show-and-tell
and I've got bupkis.

Somebody hit me a foul ball.

Hey, man, not over there.
I'm by first base!

Hey, Deej, I have been meaning
to talk to you about something.

About me moving back to Miami.

Oh, I've been wanting
to talk to you about that, too.

Long-distance relationships
are really hard.

Yes, well, the truth is
that my family's here, right,

and I love this city
and I love working at the clinic

because there's this cute doctor
that works there.

And so I have decided to move
to San Francisco permanently.

This San Francisco?

Oh, I thought you'd be
a little more excited than that.

No, I am. It's wonderful.

I just thought you were going to Steve.
I mean, leave.

But now you're going to Steve... stay.

Now batting for the Giants,
number eight, Hunter Pence.

Hand me a foul ball. But not too hard.

Max, honey,

the odds of Hunter hitting a foul ball
directly to you are like a billion to one.

He just hit one our way!

- Oh!
- Oh, here it comes.

- It's coming right at us!
- Yes, come to Daddy!

Hey, man, that was my ball.

Better get used to it now, kid,

because life's a series of broken dreams
and bitter disappointments.

Except today,
because I got myself a foul ball.

- Hootie-hoo to you.
- Hey, buddy.

He's just a kid, man.
Don't be a jerk, okay?

Yeah, whatever, pal.

Ooh, I just sat on my nachos.

Yeah, that's what you get
for being a meanie.

Snap.

- He struck out again.
- Thanks to you, Jinxie.

I'm about to go entertain the crowd, okay?
You enjoy sitting on your cheese.

Come on, Ramona. Grab a fathead.

Let's give these people
what they came here for.

I think they came here to see a game.

They came here for a good time.
That's what we'll give them.

I have nothing else to do.
I've officially been friend-snatched.

Wow, you were right. This view is amazing.

Yeah. My dad used to bring me up here.

You can see the city.
You can see the bay.

I see my mom's car getting a parking
ticket. I told her that wasn't a space.

It's windy.

- Are you cold?
- A little.

I'll keep you warm.

- Can we take a selfie?
- No.

I didn't think so.

This is the perfect spot
for maximum Gibbler exposure.

Alright. Are you ready?
Here we go. Five, six, seven, eight...

Party planning, Gibbler Style!

Always goes the extra mile!

Is she really your best friend?

- Party planning, Gibbler Style!
- Always leaves you with a smile!

Here comes security.

Dakota Fanning, Tatum
Channing, they all love my party planning!

Hey, hey, hey,
careful with those fatheads.

Go, go, Gibbler
for all your party planning needs.

The Giants remind fans
to please stay off the dugout.

Kimmy's getting hauled out of here.
Do you want to go help her?

Oh, no.
This happens to Kimmy all the time.

Oh, get your camera out.
Stephanie's about to sing.

Now it's time
for the Seventh Inning Stretch.

So get on your feet
and show your San Francisco spirit

by joining Stephanie Tanner in the singing
of "Take Me Out To the Ballgame."

Take it away, Stephanie.

She's a jinx. Boo!

We love you, Stephanie. Go Steph.

Jinx, jinx!

- This goes out to Hunter Pence...
- Jinx, jinx!

You may never get a hit again,
but you're a hit in my heart.

♪ Take me out to the ball game ♪

♪ Take me out to the crowd ♪

♪ Buy me some peanuts and... ♪

What is wrong with you people?
What do you want from me?

Wait, you want me to break up
with Hunter Pence?

How rude!

But do you know what?

San Francisco is my city,

so if that's what you people want,

then for the love of the Giants, I will
break up with Hunter Pence right now.

I'm sorry, Hunter. It's over.

Stephanie's broken up with a lot of guys,

but this is the first time
it'll be on SportsCenter.

Oh, Hunter, I just want to look
in those crazy eyes one more time.

Hunter!

Hunter! Hunter! Hunter, no!

Hunter, wait!

Hunter!

Wait!

Well, maybe I'll get a hit now.

The Giants extend their
apologies. Now, let's enjoy the Kiss Cam.

Hey, there's my girl!

She's such a good mom, you guys.

Whoa, guys, leave her alone.
She's being polite. Good job, honey.

Kiss him, Mom.

Don't do it, D.J.

What? No... D.J.!

Excuse me, sorry. I'm so sorry. Excuse me.

D.J., a word.
Out of my way, Lou Seal.

This doesn't concern you, Lou. Whoa.
This isn't your business, Lou Seal.

Isn't that your podiatrist,
wrestling a seal?

Oh, my lanta!

What is Steve doing here?

- D.J., I need a word with you, please.
- Sir, let's go.

What's he so upset about?

I don't know.

We were just kissing this morning!

Did he say you two were kissing
this morning?

I don't know, I can't hear.
Let's go, Giants.

Let's go, Giants.

Now batting for the Giants, number eight.

Look, here they come.

Well, what a fun way
to launch my singing career...

An emotional breakdown
in front of 40,000 people.

Not only did I make it
on the JumboTron, but guess what?

Channel Six caught it all, and I'll be
on the eleven o'clock news tonight.

I lead a charmed life.

Do we have to leave?

I didn't catch my foul ball.

Yeah. It's the bottom of the ninth.
Bases are loaded.

Giants are down by three.

- Hunter Pence is up to bat.
- Hit me a home run, Pencey!

Max, the odds of him hitting a home run
directly to you are like a billion to one.

- He hit a long drive to right field.
- This is right field.

It's going, going... gone!

It's not gone, it's right here.

Whoo-hoo!

Okay, let's go home.

Come on, everybody.
Let's see if we're on SportsCenter.

Hey, Max, you're going to have
a great story for show-and-tell on Monday.

Yeah, my home run ball is so much cooler
than Taylor's sea monkeys.

And they aren't even monkeys.
They're just shrimp.

Kids are so gullible.

Are you sure we're cool? I feel really bad
about breaking the girl code.

Sisters before misters.

Well, if you feel really bad,
then I feel better.

It was all my fault.
I invited her out to my favorite seats.

I mean, I never expected her to say yes.

Are you sure I can't help you
pay for this jersey?

Nah, it's okay.
I worked out a deal with Dr. Matt.

I'm washing his car this weekend.
And every weekend for the next two years.

What are you doing?

Well, I'm expecting a little fallout
from my unexpected double-date.

I'm changing my email,
shutting down Facebook

and pricing a four-bedroom house in Idaho.

I'll get that. Might be one of the guys
you kissed in the last eight hours.

Hey, it is.

D.J., we need to have a little chat.

I get to answer this one.

- Hi, Matt.
- Hi.

D.J., the other guy you kissed is here.

D.J., you said we could talk
about things later. Well... it's later.

Wow, this is the second time today

you guys are in the same place
at the same time.

Isn't that funny?

Okay, why don't we all just sit down on
the couch and we can talk about our day.

Excuse me, sorry.
Scoot over, Steve. Okay.

Sorry.

Oh, did you not need us here for this?

- No.
- Okay.

We'll be in the kitchen
pretending not to listen.

The truth is, well,
Matt and I just started dating.

And, Steve, I was going to tell you,
but then you kissed me.

And then I was going to tell Matt
that I kissed Steve.

But then, Matt, you kissed me.
And, well, Steve, you saw.

So... So as you can see,
I am completely innocent in all of this.

Okay, thanks for stopping by.

Wait, D.J., I have, like,
real feelings for you.

Uh, and I have realer feelings for you.

The past six weeks have been great.

Oh, six weeks? We go back 25 years.

Checkmate. Your move.

Man, there is no move after checkmate.

That was my point exactly.

Guys, you are both great.

But it was just a week ago that I decided
I was ready to go on my first date.

My first date in 15 years.

And now I have two amazing men
that want to date me,

and I like them both and I am so confused.

How can you be confused
after the kiss that we had?

Oh, please. That crowd-induced
JumboTron pity kiss? Come on.

No. I'm talking about our first kiss.

I'll see you Monday.

Okay, Monday it is.

D.J., wait.

- Oh!
- Oh, now that's a kiss.

D.J.! How could you do this to me?

I wasn't doing it to you.

Oh, that was nothing. Alright, you want
to see some real romance? Watch this.

I love you.

I love you, too.

Oh, we were in love.

You were in high school.

Wow, Steve. Your hair was great.

Our kids would have that hair.

Not for long.

What are you two doing here?

Sorry, we'll go back in the kitchen.

D.J., what do you want to do?

Please don't put any pressure on me.
I'm not ready to make any big decisions.

I'm not interested in being
in some kind of competition.

I agree. I'm out.

Okay, if he's out, I'm totally back in.

Then I'm back in, too.
Can we have dinner next week?

Um, yeah, sure.

Can we go out, too?

Yeah, I guess so.

Okay, great. Great, so I'll see you soon.

And I'll see you sooner.

Do you see my problem?
You're both great kissers.

I was not impressed. Not impressed at all.

I wasn't even trying.

D.J. Fuller, dating two guys at once.

How did this happen?

Simple. You're a floozy.