Full House (1987–1995): Season 2, Episode 4 - D.J.'s Very First Horse - full transcript

HI, MICHELLE.

NAP.

YOU WOKE ME TO
TELL ME I WAS NAPPING?

YES.

IF I FALL ASLEEP AGAIN,

WAKE ME UP AND LET ME KNOW, OK?

OK.

BYE-BYE.

BYE-BYE.

♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪

♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪



♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪

♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪

♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSIN' ME ♪

♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪

♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪

♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪

♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪

♪ A HAND TO HOLD ONTO ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪



♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪

♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪

♪ A LIGHT IS WAITIN'
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪

♪ DOOBIE DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪♪

LOOK. WHAT IS THIS?

CHICKIE.

PET THE CHICKIE.

GIVE THE CHICKIE A KISS.

THE CHICKIE'S NICE.

YES.

GIVE THE CHICKIE LOVE.

GIVE HIM A HUG.

OH, THAT'S NICE.

PET THE CHICKIE. PET HIM.

PET HIM. PET HIM.

THIS IS A GREAT PICTURE.

I WANT THIS. SAY CHEESE.

CHEESE. CHEESE.

OH, VERY GOOD.

LET ME GET YOU GUYS.

YOU HOLD HER.

WANT TO TAKE ANOTHER PICTURE?

HERE WE GO.

BECKY, AFTER THE SHOW,

LET'S SLIP AWAY AND HAVE LUNCH.

SAY OK.

OK.

VERY SNEAKY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THE GIRLS WANTED TO WATCH
YOU GUYS SHOOT YOUR SHOW.

ARE YOU LAUGHING
AT ME OR WITH ME?

I'M NOT LAUGHING. MY
QUESTION'S ANSWERED.

THE SHOW'S THEME IS

A LITTLE BIT OF
COUNTRY IN THE CITY.

REALLY, NOBODY'S
LAUGHING AT YOU.

COME HERE, MICHELLE.
LET'S GO LOOK AT THE HORSES.

ISN'T HE THE MOST
GORGEOUS CREATURE

YOU'VE EVER SEEN?

NO. PATRICK SWAYZE IS.

OOH, LOOK AT THE PRETTY HORSE.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

ROCKET.

HELLO, ROCKET.

HELLO, STEPHANIE.

I BEG YOUR PARDON?

I SAID, "HELLO, STEPHANIE."

HE TALKS.

THE HORSE TALKS,
AND HE KNOWS MY NAME.

STEPHANIE, IT'S JOEY.

THERE'S NO JOEY HERE.

PAY NO ATTENTION TO THAT MAN

WHOSE LIPS ARE MOVING.

THAT IS NOT FUNNY.

I'M NEVER GOING TO TRUST
ANOTHER TALKING HORSE.

I'LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU.

I'LL SHOW YOU A DUCK

THAT SOUNDS LIKE ELMER FUDD.

HE GOES, "QUACK,
QUACK, QUACK. HEWWO."

COME ON.

LOOKS LIKE THAT HORSE

HAS TAKEN A SHINE TO YOU.

OLD ROCKET'S BEEN LONELY

SINCE HIS OWNER
MOVED TO CHICAGO.

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?

I'M SUPPOSED TO
FIND HIM A GOOD HOME.

SOMEBODY COULD HAVE
THEMSELVES A FREE HORSE.

A FREE HORSE, NO
MONEY, ZERO DOLLARS?

AN ABSOLUTELY FREE HORSE?

I MIGHT BE INTERESTED.

IT COSTS $100 EVERY 2 WEEKS

TO FEED AND STABLE HIM.

$100? I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.

JUST PUT THE HORSE ON LAY-AWAY.

A HORSE OF MY VERY OWN...

MY DREAM COME TRUE.

LET'S DO THIS TOGETHER.

WE'LL BE THE ONLY SIXTH GRADERS

WITH A REAL HORSE.

THAT'LL MAKE KATHY
SANTONI SHUT UP

ABOUT HER STUPID MOPED.

WE'LL GET OUR PARENTS
TO SPLIT THE MONEY.

DAD, DAD, COULD I HAVE A PET?

I'LL FEED IT. I'LL BE
TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE.

A PET IS A BIG RESPONSIBILITY.

I JUST COVERED THAT.

WELL, MAYBE SOMETHING SMALL,

LIKE A PARAKEET OR A GOLDFISH...

NOTHING WITH TEETH.

AHEM.

DANNY, WE'RE ON.

THAT'S MY DAD. BYE, DAD.

GOOD MORNING.

WELCOME TO A SPECIAL
SATURDAY EDITION

OF WAKE UP, SAN
FRANCISC-E-I-E-I-O.

I'M DANNY TANNER.

I'M REBECCA DONALDSON.

WE'RE LIVE FROM
GOLDEN GATE STABLES.

THIS REMINDS ME OF
GROWING UP IN NEBRASKA.

IT REMINDS ME OF GREEN ACRES.

SOMETIMES I MISS FARM
LIFE, BUT NOT TODAY.

I HAVE A SPECIAL 4-H
SURPRISE FOR YOU.

I DON'T LIKE SURPRISES.

I KNOW.

COME ON, HONEY.
COME ON, MARILYN.

HI, GOAT.

HI, GOAT.

SURPRISE!

SAN FRANCISCO'S GOING
TO WATCH YOU LEARN

HOW TO MILK A GOAT.

NOW, SIT DOWN RIGHT HERE.

WATCH OUT, HONEY.

GRAB ON RIGHT UNDER THERE.

I HAVE A THING ABOUT TOUCHING
GOATS BELOW THE WAIST.

COME ON. IT'S EASY.

LIKE THIS.

NOW, YOU TRY IT.

HI, MARILYN.

DANNY TANNER.

KIDS, DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME.

I ASKED MOM ABOUT THE HORSE.

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

"KIMBERLY LOUISE GIBLER,
HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?"

I DIDN'T REALLY HAVE
AN ANSWER FOR THAT.

DID YOU TRY ASKING
YOUR DAD AGAIN?

NO. I HAVE A BETTER IDEA.

IF WE CARE FOR ROCKET
BY OURSELVES TWO WEEKS,

OUR PARENTS WILL
LET US KEEP HIM.

I LOVE THE WAY YOUR MIND WORKS.

HOW DOES YOUR MIND
SAY WE PAY STABLE FEES?

MY MIND SAYS IF WE TAKE OUR
ALLOWANCE AND ALL OUR SAVINGS,

WE'LL HAVE JUST ENOUGH.

I JUST HAVE TO GIVE UP SHOPPING.

GIVE UP SHOPPING?

DID THOSE WORDS
COME OUT OF MY MOUTH?

HOW CAN YOU COMPARE SHOPPING

TO HAVING OUR OWN HORSE?

SAY IT WITH ME.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE.

STEPHANIE, YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT.

OF COURSE I DID.

WE'RE GOING TO GET A HORSE!

SEE? I HEARD IT.

UH... TELL YOU WHAT.

IF YOU KEEP THIS
SECRET FOR TWO WEEKS,

I'LL LET YOU OWN
PART OF THE HORSE.

WHICH PART?

UH... THE TAIL.

MY VERY OWN TAIL?

DEAL.

I THINK I'LL NAME IT BUTTERCUP.

ARE YOU SURE YOU CAN TRUST HER?

SHE IS SUCH A BLABBERMOUTH.

I CAN KEEP A SECRET.

NOBODY KNOWS ABOUT THE
HALLOWEEN CANDY IN MY SOCK DRAWER.

I AM A BLABBERMOUTH.

AY-YI-YI.

HALLOWEEN CANDY!
HALLOWEEN CANDY!

WAIT. WAIT.

IT'S NOT IN THERE ANYMORE.

IT'S STALE. IT'LL ROT TEETH.

READY TO RIDE IN
YOUR BRAND-NEW CAR?

OK. FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELT.

OK, MICHELLE. LET'S BURN RUBBER.

READY? BEEP THE HORN.

VROOM!

VROOM!

VROOM!

OH, LOOK OUT!

HEY, BUM, OUT OF MY WAY.

READY FOR YOUR NAP?

HEY, BUM.

YOU'VE GOT TO BE
CAREFUL OF WHAT YOU SAY.

LOOK. WE GOT YOU A TOY.

BY THE TIME YOUR NAP'S OVER,

WE'LL HAVE IT ALL BLOWN UP.

YOU BETTER SLEEP FOR A MONTH.

HOPE SO. SEE YA.

YOU GUYS WILL BE GREAT PARENTS.

YOU SHOULD HAVE YOUR OWN KIDS.

WE'VE TALKED ABOUT IT.

NEITHER OF US WANTS
TO GO THROUGH LABOR.

AH.

NEED HELP?

NO. I'LL HANDLE
IT. IT'S A MAN'S JOB.

ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING TO
GET BACK TO THE STUDIO.

DON'T GO YET. I'M
GOING TO FAINT.

I HAD A GREAT TIME TODAY.

ME, TOO.

LISTEN, BECKY, CAN I ASK
YOU A PERSONAL QUESTION?

SURE.

DO YOU EAT DINNER?

ALMOST EVERY NIGHT.

THIS IS AMAZING. SO DO I!

TWO PEOPLE, BOTH DINNER EATERS,

HOW OFTEN DOES THAT HAPPEN?

HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

I HAVE TO WORK ON MONDAY'S SHOW.

IT'S THE WEEKEND.

THIS JOB IS A BIG
OPPORTUNITY FOR ME.

I HAVE TO STAY FOCUSED.

TAKE AN HOUR AND FOCUS
ON SOME PASTA FAZOOL.

DON'T MISUNDERSTAND.

I REALLY LIKE HAVING
YOU AS A FRIEND.

BESIDES, IT WILL TAKE ALL
WEEKEND TO BLOW UP GODZILLA.

BYE.

WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?

AM I SCARING HER OFF?

IT'S YOU.

ALL RIGHT. I'LL HAVE
DINNER WITH YOU.

COME ON. LET'S GO EAT TOKYO.

DO YOU WANT TO RIDE HIM FIRST?

YOU MEAN GET ON HIM?

IN MY NEW OUTFIT?

EWW!

WHY DON'T I JUST TELL
EVERYBODY WE GOT A HORSE?

LATER, PARTNER.

ROCKET, LET'S GO
FOR A NICE, LONG RIDE,

AND I'LL TRY TO
EXPLAIN KIMMY TO YOU.

THESE HAVE BEEN THE
BEST TWO WEEKS OF MY LIFE.

YOU'RE THE BEST
HORSE I'VE OWNED,

NOT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE
THE ONLY HORSE I'VE OWNED.

IF I OWNED A HUNDRED,
YOU'D BE MY FAVORITE.

HI, D.J., HI, ROCKET.

KIMMY, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I NEED YOUR $50.

IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS ALREADY?

UH-HUH. $50, KIMMY.

DO YOU LIKE MY NEW
SHIRT AND BOOTS?

YEAH. THEY'RE REALLY NICE.

OH, KIMMY, YOU DIDN'T?

I DID.

YOU WENT TO THE MALL?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
HOW I GOT THERE.

I TRIED TO LEAVE, BUT
I SAW THESE CLOTHES.

GIBLER, YOU'RE A MALLOHOLIC.

I'M SORRY I SPENT THE MONEY.

I'M SORRY I LET YOU DOWN.

I'M NOT READY FOR
RESPONSIBILITY YET.

BYE, D.J.

BYE, ROCKET.

HI, KIDDO.

SOMETHING WRONG, DUMPLIN'?

MY FRIEND WIMPED OUT ON ME.

I ONLY HAVE $50.

OH.

WELL, NOW, THAT LEAVES
YOU ABOUT $50 SHORT.

IF YOU CAN'T AFFORD
TAKING CARE OF HIM,

I GOT TO FIND SOMEONE WHO CAN.

WAIT. LET ME CHECK MY BACKPACK.

I HAVE A HAIRBRUSH,

A MATH BOOK THAT'S
NEVER BEEN USED.

WAIT. SOMETHING
BETTER THAN CASH.

A GEORGE MICHAEL CD.

EITHER THAT BOY'S
WEARING A EARRING...

OR THAT GAL'S GOT
SOME SERIOUS STUBBLE.

NO. I'M SORRY, HONEY.

I GOT TO HAVE CASH.

I GOT TO TELL THE BOSS
TO FIND A NEW OWNER.

CAN I TAKE HIM
FOR ONE LAST RIDE?

NO HARM IN THAT.

I'LL BE BACK.

DON'T WORRY, ROCKET.

I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING.

NOBODY'S GOING TO
TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME.

I WIN.

I LET YOU WIN.

I LET YOU LET ME WIN.

GOT IT, CHIEF.

WOULD YOU LIKE ANYTHING TO EAT?

HMM... I'LL HAVE A
STEAK. MEDIUM RARE.

WE'RE OUT OF STEAK.

I'LL MAKE YOU MY SPECIALTY...

CHEESE DOUGHNUTS.

HOW DO YOU MAKE THAT?

SEE?

CHEESE DOUGHNUTS.

WOW. WHERE DID
YOU LEARN TO COOK?

HELLO, RUG RATS.

SEE IF D.J.'S HOME

SO SHE CAN HELP UNPACK
THESE GROCERIES, OK?

LET'S GO SEE.

OH, GOOD. CHEESE DOUGHNUTS.

WHOA! WHOA!

BUTTERCUP!

WOW! A HORSE IN THE LIVING ROOM.

I'M NOT EVEN ALLOWED
TO EAT IN MY LIVING ROOM.

I'M GOING TO ASK
IF I CAN SLEEP OVER.

ARE ROCKET AND BUTTERCUP
GOING TO LIVE WITH US?

NO. I WAS GETTING A CARROT.

HE FOLLOWED ME IN.

I'M TAKING HIM TO THE BACK.

WHY BRING HIM HERE?

I DIDN'T HAVE STABLE FEES.

ONCE DAD SEES ROCKET,

I KNOW HE'LL LOVE HIM,

BUT HE WON'T LOVE
HIM IN THE HOUSE.

I GOT TO GET HIM OUT BACK.

JESSE'S IN THE KITCHEN.

WE'RE DEAD.

DON'T GET ME IN TROUBLE.

HIDE THE TAIL.

I'LL GET HIM OUT.

YOU GET JESSE UPSTAIRS.

DON'T SAY A WORD
ABOUT THE HORSE.

WHO'D BELIEVE ME?

UNCLE JESSE, SINCE
DADDY'S NOT HOME,

WANT TO GO UPSTAIRS
AND JUMP ON HIS BED?

SOUND LIKE FUN?

WHAT WAS THAT?

D.J. SHE'S WATCHING MR. ED.

IT SOUNDS SO REAL, DOESN'T IT?

TOO REAL.

HOW DID YOU...
WH-WHERE DID YOU...

HOW... HELP ME OUT HERE.

I CAN EXPLAIN.

YOU'RE WALKING BY
THE SUPERMARKET,

SOME KID HAD A LITTER
OF THESE IN A BOX.

JOEY!

I AM TRYING TO PUT
THE BABY TO... HORSE.

HOW DID YOU...

WHERE DID YOU... HOW DID IT...

MY WORDS EXACTLY.

OH, THIS IS GREAT.

DANNY'S GOING TO WALK IN HERE,

SEE THIS HORSE,

AND BLAME ME FOR
THE WHOLE THING.

THIS IS VERY FUNNY.

I GOT TO GET ROCKET OUTSIDE

BEFORE DAD COMES HOME.

STEPH, KEEP A LOOKOUT FOR DAD.

LET'S GET THIS HORSE OUT.

HOW?

FEED HIM. WHAT DOES HE EAT?

HAY.

WE DON'T HAVE ANY HAY.

YOU WENT TO THE MARKET

AND DIDN'T PICK UP ANY HAY?

DADDY'S COMING HOME.

GUYS, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU.

HELP ME.

I GOT A PLAN.

FOLLOW MY LEAD AND
AGREE WITH EVERYTHING I SAY.

OK.

ACT NATURAL.

HI, GUYS.

WE GOT A BIG SURPRISE FOR YOU.

IT'S BIG.

IT'S IN THE KITCHEN,
SO CLOSE YOUR EYES.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

HERE WE GO.

WAIT.

I KNOW WHAT THE SURPRISE IS.

JOEY, YOU'RE MAKING
THAT CHILI AGAIN.

NO. BETTER THAN THAT.

WATCH THE STEPS.

YOU'LL LOVE THIS.

KEEP THEM CLOSED.

THERE'S A HORSE
IN MY LIVING ROOM.

HE DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HEEELLLOOO, DADDY.

GOOD IMPRESSION, STEPH.

A LITTLE MORE
JOHNNY CASH, THOUGH.

I CAN'T TELL A LIE.

THIS IS MY HORSE.

YOU CAN'T TELL A LIE?

THERE'S A HORSE
IN MY LIVING ROOM.

THERE HAS TO BE A LIE
INVOLVED HERE SOMEWHERE.

I CAN EXPLAIN EVERYTHING.

HOW DID YOU GET IT HERE?

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

WELCOME TO FATHER KNOWS NOTHING.

DAD, THIS IS ROCKET.

D.J., WE HAVE TO TALK.

GO TO YOUR ROOM.

WOULD YOU GUYS GET THIS OUTSIDE?

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

I JUST VACUUMED IN HERE.

WELL... KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
GETTING A HORSE TO MOVE?

THERE'S A LITTLE SLOT
YOU DROP A QUARTER INTO.

WELL, I'LL RIDE HIM OUT.

OK.

STAY.

STAY.

RIGHT HERE. THERE YOU GO.

HI-YO, BUTTERCUP!

I THOUGHT IF I COULD PROVE

I COULD TAKE CARE
OF ROCKET BY MYSELF,

YOU'D LET ME KEEP HIM.

WHY DIDN'T YOU COME TO ME?

WELL, I STARTED TO,

BUT THEN I SAW YOU
WERE GOING TO SAY NO.

THEN YOU DID EXACTLY
WHAT YOU WANTED TO.

I'M SORRY, DAD.

WELL, I'M SORRY, TOO,

BECAUSE NOW I'VE
GOT A BIG PROBLEM.

WHAT?

WELL...

YOU GOT A HORSE
WITHOUT MY PERMISSION,

YOU LIED ABOUT WHERE
YOU'VE BEEN AFTER SCHOOL,

AND YOU INVOLVED YOUR SISTER.

IT'S BEEN NOTHING
BUT LIES, HASN'T IT?

YEAH.

HOW WILL I EVER KNOW

WHEN YOU'RE
TELLING ME THE TRUTH?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'M SORRY, DAD.

ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT

WAS GETTING THE HORSE.

I JUST WANT YOU
TO TRUST ME AGAIN.

WHAT CAN I DO?

WELL...

I DON'T KNOW, D.J.

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW

EVEN IF YOU DO
SOMETHING I DON'T LIKE,

I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU.

WE'LL FIND A WAY
TO WORK THIS OUT.

HERE.

YOU'RE STILL GOING TO
PUNISH ME, AREN'T YOU?

OH, YEAH.

BIG TIME.

WHAT ABOUT ROCKET?

WHAT WOULD YOU
DO IF YOU WERE ME?

I'D DEFINITELY LET ME KEEP HIM.

WELL, UH... I'M SORRY, HONEY,

BUT YOU HAVE TO
GIVE UP THE HORSE.

I'M SORRY, ROCKET.

WHEN I FIRST WANTED TO GET YOU,

I THOUGHT IT WOULD
BE FUN TO HAVE A HORSE.

NOW YOU'RE MY FRIEND.

I'M GOING TO MISS YOU SO MUCH.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO MEET
ROCKET'S NEW OWNER?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WE'VE ALREADY MET.

BECKY, YOU'RE GETTING ROCKET?

YOUR DAD TOLD ME WHAT HAPPENED.

AND GROWING UP ON A FARM,

I MISS BEING AROUND HORSES.

YOU'RE LUCKY.

YOU'RE GETTING A GREAT HORSE.

AND, ROCKET, YOU'RE
GETTING A NICE OWNER.

WELL, D.J., I WAS WONDERING,

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO
HELP ME TAKE CARE OF HIM.

I'D LOVE TO.

BUT I HAVE TO ASK MY DAD.

COULD I HELP TAKE CARE OF ROCKET

AFTER MY PUNISHMENT'S OVER?

I THINK WE'LL WORK
SOMETHING OUT.

THANKS. YOU'RE THE BEST.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

I AM.

THANK YOU, REBECCA.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

LOOK, MICHELLE, A HORSEY.

WANT TO PET THE HORSEY?

AHH.

WHAT DOES THE HORSEY SAY?

PPFTTT!

THIS IS A GIFTED CHILD.

I LOVE YOU, ROCKET.

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