Full House (1987–1995): Season 1, Episode 15 - A Pox in Our House - full transcript
Stephanie comes down with chicken pox, and as the day progresses the people who can take care of Michelle quickly dwindles. Danny may have to give up his chance to cover an important even he's been looking forward to. Meanwhile, Jesse, Joey, and Stephanie try to deal with the itching while keeping away from Michelle.
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU ARE ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ SHOOBY DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
1, 2... 1, 2, 3.
♪ BA-OOM ♪
♪ BOH-DOH ♪
♪ DOO DOO ♪
♪ BA-OOM ♪
♪ BOH-DOH ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ PLEASE, SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA, MAKE ME SPIN ♪
♪ YEAH, SOMEDAY SOON ♪
♪ YOU WILL BE MOVING ON, CHILD ♪
♪ HODJA, PLEASE ♪
♪ WON'T YOU SHOW
ME HOW YOU DO IT ♪
♪ SO WON'T YOU
LET ME BE THE ONE ♪
♪ YOU LAY THE SECRET ON, NOW ♪
♪ HODJA, WON'T YOU
LET ME BE THE... ♪
♪ HOW YA DO IT ♪
♪ IT'S A TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM THE TOP ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO START ME UP ♪
♪ AND DON'T LET ME STOP ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ PLEASE, SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA, MAKE ME SPIN ♪
♪ HODJA, PLEASE,
SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ MAKE ♪
♪ NOW, HODJA,
MAKE ME SPIN, NOW ♪
♪ ME ♪
♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA OA-OA-EEE ♪
♪ SPIN ♪
ALL RIGHT!
ONE MORE TIME!
♪ HODJA, GET OUT OF
YOUR BED AND SPIN ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO SPIN ON YOUR HEAD ♪
♪ TILL YOU'RE ALMOST DEAD... ♪
HEY, IF WE WERE ALL IN THE
SHOWER, YOU'D BE BEGGING FOR MORE.
I'D BE BEGGING TO GET OUT.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. VERY GOOD.
I'LL SEE YOU AT DRESS
REHEARSAL TONIGHT. GOOD-BYE.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
GOOD-BYE, FELLOWS.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
VERY NICE, GUYS.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ GOOD ♪
♪ GOO-OO-OO-OO OO-OO-OOD ♪
ALL RIGHT. WE'LL SEE
YOU AT DRESS REHEARSAL
♪ BYE ♪
GOOD-BYE! GOOD-BYE!
♪ GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ DO DO DO... ♪
STEF?
STEPHANIE, HONEY, ARE YOU OK?
I FEEL YUCKY.
HONEY, LET'S SEE IF
YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
IF I MOVE YOU OVER
TO THE COUCH, OK?
HERE YOU GO. THERE YOU ARE.
NOW, HOW DO YOU FEEL, HONEY?
I STILL FEEL YUCKY.
HMM. LET ME CHECK YOUR FOREHEAD.
I THINK SHE FEELS A LITTLE WARM.
LET ME SEE THAT.
HERE, LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME CHECK IT OUT.
I THINK THEY'RE ALL
RUNNING A FEVER.
SHE'S REALLY GOT A FEVER.
LOOK AT HER. SHE'S SWEATING.
CAN I ASK A QUESTION?
AREN'T I TOO YOUNG
TO GET PIMPLES?
UH-OH.
STEPHANIE, THOSE AREN'T PIMPLES.
I THINK THEY'RE CHICKEN POX.
CHICKEN POX?
I CAUGHT SOMETHING
FROM A CHICKEN?
NO, HONEY. YOU PROBABLY
JUST CAUGHT THIS
FROM SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
EVERYBODY GETS CHICKEN POX.
I HAD THEM. I HAD THEM.
I HAD THEM, TOO.
I NEVER HAD THEM
AND I NEVER WILL.
I'M IMMUNE TO CHICKEN POX.
YOU CAN'T BE IMMUNE
TO CHICKEN POX, HUH?
EVERY KID IN MY SCHOOL
HAD THEM BUT ME.
I GUESS WHEN YOU'RE AN
AWESOME PHYSICAL SPECIMEN
LIKE MY OWN BAD SELF,
GERMS TAKE ONE LOOK
AT MY BODY AND SAY,
"HEY, WHY WASTE OUR TIME?"
WOMEN SAY THE SAME THING.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OK. SO I GUESS NOBODY HERE
HAS TO WORRY ABOUT
CATCHING CHICKEN POX.
BOOO... OOOH... OH, MY GOD.
I GOT HER.
DAD, I'M ITCHING. I'M ITCHING.
SWEETHEART, REMEMBER
WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.
NO SCRATCHING.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SCRATCH
WITH THESE ON MY HANDS?
HONEY, THOSE HELP
TAKE AWAY THE ITCH.
THEY'RE MAGIC OVEN MITTS.
DAD, GET REAL.
THEY'RE FOR TV DINNERS.
ANY SECOND NOW, YOUR
UNCLE JESSE WILL BE UP HERE
WITH SOMETHING TO
HELP STOP THE ITCHING.
IT BETTER HELP. I GOTTA BE
ALL BETTER BY TOMORROW.
THAT'S WHEN A REAL
BALLERINA IS COMING TO DANCE
FOR MY BALLET CLASS.
I KNOW, BUT IF YOU WANT
TO BE BETTER REAL SOON,
YOU'VE GOT TO GET LOTS OF
REST AND DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS.
REST. FLUIDS. GOT IT.
HEY, STEF. HERE'S YOUR JUICE.
KEEP THEM COMING, D.J.
THIS TIME, ORANGE
JUICE, BUT NO PULP.
WAIT TILL YOU GET BETTER.
ALL RIGHT. I FOUND
THE CALAMINE LOTION.
HOW DO I LOOK?
LIKE YOU SHOULD BE SPINNING
FROM THE CEILING OF A DISCO.
COME HERE, STEF. I
FOUND SOMETHING
THAT'S GONNA SUCK THE
ITCH RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BODY.
COME HERE. SIT OVER
HERE. SIT OVER HERE.
HERE. TAKE CARE OF THIS.
OH, THANKS, JESSE.
I'LL LIFT THE SHIRT.
HURRY UP! IT'S STILL ITCHING!
ALL RIGHT. GET UP HERE.
I HATE THIS!
ALL RIGHT. LET ME TELL
YOU SOMETHING NOW.
WHEN I HAD THE CHICKEN POX,
I NEVER SCRATCHED THEM
ONCE, AND YOU KNOW WHY?
I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA.
BECAUSE I GOT TOUGH. GRRR!
NOW LET ME HEAR YOU BE TOUGH.
GRR.
NICE TRY.
GROWLING? PLEASE.
STEF, WHAT YOU NEED
IS STATE OF THE ART
MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY.
I GIVE YOU TEDDY ITCH-NO-MORE.
I'LL TRY ANYTHING.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME
SHOW YOU HOW HE WORKS FIRST.
OK. NOW, WHERE
DOES IT ITCH THE MOST?
MY TUMMY.
OK. SCRATCH TEDDY
ITCH-NO-MORE ON HIS TUMMY.
YEAH. NOW WE'RE IN BUSINESS.
BUT WAIT. YOU ALSO GET
THIS SPECIAL BONUS GIFT...
SOMETHING TO LET US
KNOW WHEN YOU NEED US.
TA-DA!
OH, NO.
YOU DIDN'T.
[HORN BLOWS]
THANKS, JOEY.
YEAH, THANKS,
JOEY. THANKS, JOEY.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
ALWAYS THINKING.
HERE. THIS OUGHT TO
HOLD YOU FOR 5 MINUTES.
I HOPE SO.
OK, SWEETHEART. GET IN BED.
NOW, I'M GONNA BE HERE
WITH YOU ALL WEEKEND
EXCEPT FOR TOMORROW AFTERNOON
WHEN I HAVE TO FINISH
MY SPECIAL REPORT
ON THE GOLDEN STATE
WARRIORS. THANKS.
YOUR FATHER IS ACTUALLY
GONNA PUT ON A UNIFORM,
WARM UP WITH THE TEAM,
AND SIT ON THE BENCH
DURING A REAL GAME.
GOOD FOR YOU.
AND IF 8 PLAYERS GET HURT...
AND A PEANUT VENDOR... I'M IN.
STEF, I GOT MY DRESS
REHEARSAL TONIGHT
AND MY DOO-WOP
SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT,
BUT OTHER THAN
THAT, I'M ALL YOURS.
AND I'M AVAILABLE ALL
WEEKEND BECAUSE, UH...
UNFORTUNATELY I'M
AVAILABLE ALL WEEKEND.
GREAT, 'CAUSE I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'M GOING TO SALLY PENZO'S HOUSE
FOR MY VERY FIRST SLUMBER PARTY.
I'M SO NERVOUS.
I'M IN CHARGE OF MAKING
SURE NOBODY FALLS ASLEEP.
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE,
BUT I GOTTA GET SOME REST.
OUT, OUT, OUT,
OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT.
SHE'S REALLY TOO
CUTE TO BE YOUR KID.
[HORN BLOWS]
WHAT IS IT, HONEY? WHAT? WHAT?
JUST TESTING.
WELL, IT WORKS.
DAD, DO I REALLY HAVE
TO SLEEP IN THE NURSERY?
IT'S WAY TOO CUTE IN HERE.
STEPHANIE NEEDS HER REST.
D.J., ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT
YOU AREN'T THRILLED TO DEATH
TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THIS
LITTLE BUNDLE OF BABY FUN?
THAT'S NOT FAIR. HA HA HA!
GOOD NIGHT, D.J.
AND GOOD NIGHT, MICHELLE. MWAH!
[HORN BLOWS]
SOMETHING TELLS ME I
OUGHT TO CHECK ON STEPHANIE.
[HORN BLOWS]
AND KILL JOEY.
GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
OK, MICHELLE.
NOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK
MICHELLE SHOULD GO TO SLEEP?
I DO! ONE TO NOTHING. I WIN.
WELL, NIGHT-NIGHT, MICHELLE.
SLEEP TIGHT.
UH-BA-BA.
NO, MICHELLE. THIS IS
NOT A SLUMBER PARTY.
NOW, YOU NEED
SOME SLEEP. LIE DOWN.
[SIGHS]
UHHH...
NOW, MICHELLE, I MEAN IT.
GO TO SLEEP.
BYE... NO BYE-BYE. NIGHT-NIGHT.
SIT.
LIE DOWN.
THIS IS A GOOD FINGER.
[BLOWS]
D.J., CHECK THIS OUT.
♪ DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH
DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH ♪
♪ DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH
DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH ♪
MAYBE IF I HOLD THE
BALL STILL AND I SPIN,
I'LL ACTUALLY CREATE THE
ILLUSION THAT I CAN DO THIS.
D.J., HEY. SLOW DOWN.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
CHUG-A-LUG YOUR CEREAL.
SORRY, DAD. THEY'RE
PICKING ME UP IN 2 MINUTES
FOR MY VERY FIRST SLUMBER PARTY.
I UNDERSTAND, BUT DO YOU ALSO WANT
YOUR VERY FIRST HEIMLICH MANEUVER?
UHH! MORNING.
NICE LOOK, JESSE.
DID YOUR BLOW-DRYER SHORT OUT?
OH, JESSE, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU?
NOTHING. I'M FINE. UHH! REALLY.
I'M FINE.
MORNING, JOEY.
OH... I GOT A FEVER.
I'M SWEATY. I'M CHILLY.
OBVIOUSLY, IT'S MALARIA.
LOOK AT ALL THESE
MOSQUITO BITES.
THOSE AREN'T MOSQUITO BITES.
THOSE ARE CHICKEN POX.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I'M IMMUNE.
YOU'RE IMMUNE TO COMMON SENSE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
FACE IT. YOU GOT
THE CHICKEN POX.
OK, BUT AS SOON AS I'M
OVER THIS, I'M IMMUNE.
HELLO. OH, HELLO, MOTHER.
HOW'S PALM SPRINGS?
OH, YEAH. FINE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE,
EXCEPT STEPHANIE AND
JOEY HAVE THE CHICKEN POX.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
MOTHER, I HAD THE CHICKEN
POX. REMEMBER HOW TOUGH I WAS?
IT WAS AN ALLERGIC
REACTION TO WOOL?
BUT I WAS STILL TOUGH.
YES, I KNOW. FLUIDS...
LOTS OF REST...
OH. NO DATING. BYE, MOTHER.
I'M IN TROUBLE.
THE STATION IS COUNTING ON ME
TO BE WITH THE WARRIORS,
AND I GOT 2 BABY-SITTERS
WHO CAN'T GO NEAR THE BABY.
I'VE GOT TO FIND A SITTER.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WELL, GOT TO GO.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
YOU'LL BE FINE, WON'T YOU, DAD?
OH, HONEY, I'LL BE FINE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'LL START CALLING AROUND.
THERE'S GOT TO BE, OH,
AT LEAST 20 SITTERS IN HERE
JUST DYING TO
MAKE $1.50 AN HOUR.
HONEY, YOU GO. YOU GO
SLUMBER PARTY HEARTY.
DAD, THAT WAS ALMOST HIP.
YOU SURE YOU'LL BE OK?
OH, I'M POSITIVE. GO. GO. GO.
OK. BYE.
GREAT. I'VE GOT 47
MINUTES TO FIND A SITTER.
GUYS, I MAY BE ALMOST HIP,
BUT I AM DEFINITELY IN TROUBLE.
GUYS?
GUYS.
GOOD-BYE, CHICKEN POX PRISON.
HELLO, BALLERINA.
[FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS]
YIKES!
UHH!
[FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS]
OH... WHERE'S MY BACON,
EGGS, TOAST, JUICE, AND TEA?
DANNY, WHERE ARE YOU?
ON THE PHONE, CALLING SITTERS.
OH... ALL RIGHT. I'LL
GIVE YOU A HAND.
I'LL WRITE DOWN
EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.
OH, WHERE THE HECK IS A
PEN WHEN YOU NEED ONE?
OH.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MUST BE SICKER THAN I THOUGHT.
[SIGHS]
PLEASE, DERRICK,
YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME.
I'VE SHOT ALL THE OTHER FOOTAGE.
I'VE DONE ALL THE
OTHER INTERVIEWS.
DERRICK, I'M ALREADY WEARING
THE SUIT. I LOOK REALLY CUTE.
YES. DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE THERE.
RIGHT. 37 MINUTES.
37 MINUTES?
Joey: DANNY.
I'M COMING.
I WISH CHICKEN POX
CAUSED LARYNGITIS.
GOT TO FIND A BABY-SITTER.
I'M HISTORY.
Jesse: FREEZE!
WELL, WELL, WELL,
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
HELLO, MR. COCHRAN.
AND HELLO TO YOU,
LITTLE STRANGER.
DO I KNOW YOU?
I'M MY FRIEND KAREN.
I JUST CAME BY TO VISIT
POOR LITTLE STEPHANIE.
OH, THAT'S VERY
CONSIDERATE OF YOU... KAREN.
SHE'S MISSING A REAL BALLERINA.
OH! WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
GO UPSTAIRS AND SAY HI?
AS YOU KNOW, STEPHANIE'S
VERY SICK WITH THE CHICKEN POX
AND SHOULDN'T BE GOING ANYWHERE.
CHICKEN POX? I BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE.
NOT SO FAST, KAREN.
IT'S TOO LATE.
YOU PROBABLY ALREADY
GOT THEM FROM ME.
UNCLE JESSE, YOU HAVE
THE CHICKEN POX, TOO?
WHAT WAS THAT... KAREN?
I MEAN... MR. UNCLE... I MEAN...
UNCLE COCHRAN...
I MEAN... JESSE...
MISTER... I MEAN... I...
I... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
IT'S ME. IT'S ME. STEPHANIE.
UNBELIEVABLE.
STEPHANIE T...
I COULD HAVE SWORN
IT WAS LAUREN BACALL.
NOW...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT OF BED, YOUNG LADY?
I'M ALL BETTER.
THEN WHAT ARE THOSE LITTLE
BUMPS ALL OVER YOUR FACE?
THOSE ARE... MY
"ALL BETTER BUMPS."
I WISH THEY WERE, KID, BUT
WE BOTH KNOW THEY'RE NOT.
NOW, COME ON.
BE CAREFUL. MY CHICKEN POX.
RIGHT. YEAH. I KNOW. I KNOW.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, STEF...
UNFORTUNATELY, BEING
SICK SOMETIMES MEANS
HAVING TO MISS OUT ON SOMETHING
THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO,
BUT THE TRICK IS,
YOU GOTTA BE TOUGH,
LIKE YOUR UNCLE JESSE.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT MISSING YOUR DOO-WOP SHOW?
OH... I GOT TO MISS
MY DOO-WOP SHOW.
REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME.
BE TOUGH. GRRRRRRRR!
GRRRRR.
COME ON, KID. I'LL GET
YOU SOME PJs, ALL RIGHT?
HERE WE GO. THE
CHICKEN POX TWINS.
GET THE STRUT DOWN. GET
THE CHICKEN STRUT. THAT'S IT.
JOSEPH, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
WHOEVER SAID LIFE IS FAIR?
2 GROWN MEN DABBING
GOOP ON THEIR BODIES.
I CALL THAT UNFAIR.
YOU THINK THIS IS UNFAIR? LET'S
TALK ABOUT SALMON, SHALL WE?
SALMON WAIT THEIR WHOLE LIVES TO
SWIM HUNDREDS OF MILES UPSTREAM,
MAKE LOVE ONCE AND DROP DEAD.
NOW, THAT IS UNFAIR.
WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I AM TALKING ABOUT MAKING
THE BEST OF A SITUATION.
SURE, I'M ITCHING, BUT I'M
ITCHING WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE.
ITCH, DAB.
ITCH... HA HA! DAB.
ITCH... HA! DAB, DAB, DAB.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A WIMP.
YOU THINK THAT
BECAUSE I ITCH, I'M A WIMP?
NO. THERE'S QUITE A FEW
OTHER REASONS, JOSEPH.
LET'S JUST SEE WHO
SCRATCHES FIRST, SHALL WE?
FINE.
THAT'S A BEAUT UP THERE
ON THAT FOREHEAD OF YOURS.
YEAH?
BET YOU'D LOVE TO TAKE
A RAKE TO THAT BABY.
OOH, CHECK OUT THAT RED,
THROBBING STROBE LIGHT ON YOUR NOSE.
YEAH. YEAH, THAT ONE.
YEAH. IF THIS WERE THE
MONTH OF DECEMBER,
YOU'D FIND YOURSELF PULLING
A SLEIGH FULL OF TOYS, PAL.
HA HA HA HA... OW!
HA HA HA HA... OW!
OH!
YOU KNOW, I WAS WONDERING
JUST WHAT I WOULD
LOOK LIKE WITH A BEARD.
SCRATCHING!
I WAS WONDERING!
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT ME
WONDERING A LITTLE MYSELF.
I'M FEELING A LITTLE HEFTY.
JOSEPH, AM I PUTTING
ON ANY WEIGHT HERE?
SCRATCHING! I WAS WONDERING!
JUST LIKE YOU, WONDERING,
WONDERING, WONDERING. EVEN.
AH, THESE CLOTHES
ARE KILLING ME!
UHH! AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH.
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH. AH! AH! AH!
AH! AH! AH! AH! YOU KNOW...
I GOT AN IDEA. WHAT?
IF YOU SCRATCH ME,
AND I SCRATCH YOU,
THEN WE'RE BOTH STILL
TOUGH GUYS, RIGHT?
TOUGH YET RESOURCEFUL.
GET MY BACK!
GET MINE. GET MINE.
TOGETHER. DOWN.
UP. DOWN.
DOWN. UP.
SHOULDERS. SHOULDERS.
AH! OOH! OH!
SCRATCH MY HEAD,
SCRATCH MY HEAD.
OH! OH! OH!
OH! AH!
HELLO. HELLO.
HELLO, MR. ZUCKERMAN.
HI. THIS IS DANNY TANNER.
YEAH. I DESPERATELY
NEED A BABY-SITTER.
IS YOUR DAUGHTER HOME?
OH... OH. HOW ABOUT YOU?
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED PICKING
UP A LITTLE EXTRA CHANGE BABY-SITTING?
HELLO?
HELLO?
OH... "OH" IS RIGHT.
THAT'S IT, MICHELLE.
THE END OF THE LIST.
YOU HAVE ANY LUCK?
DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT.
I'M DEAD. UNLESS I CALL
SALLY PENZO'S HOUSE
AND GET AHOLD OF D.J. BEFORE SHE
GOES TO CARMEL FOR THE SLUMBER PARTY.
YEAH. THEN SHE COULD
MAKE IT BACK IN TIME,
AND I COULD GET TO MY GAME.
OH, BUT, MICHELLE, SHE'S BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR WEEKS.
IT'S HER VERY FIRST
SLUMBER PARTY.
BUT THEN AGAIN, IT'S MY
VERY FIRST WARRIORS GAME.
AH, BUT IF SHE MISSES THAT
PARTY, IT'S GONNA BREAK HER HEART.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MICHELLE?
SHOULD I CALL UP D.J. OR NOT?
D-D-AAH.
VERY TEMPTING.
BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THAT TO D.J.
WE COULD STILL PLAY, THOUGH.
YEAH. LET'S CALL EACH OTHER.
HELLO, MICHELLE. HI. IT'S DADDY.
YOU HUNG UP ON YOUR FATHER?
OOF!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH! AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
♪ THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE MEN ♪
♪ WORKIN' ON THE CHAIN ♪
OOH! AH!
♪ GANG ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S THE
SOUND OF THE MEN ♪
♪ WORKIN' ON THE CHAIN ♪
♪ GANG ♪
♪ HERE'S SOME
TUNA FISH AND SOUP ♪
♪ IT'S NUTRITIOUS
AND DELICIOUS ♪
♪ AND IT'S GREAT
TO FIGHT INFECTION ♪
♪ FOR THE FAMILY THAT I LOVE ♪
JOEY?
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
JESSE.
ME NEITHER.
STEF?
I'M NAUSEOUS.
AW... AW, SLIDE OVER.
AH! AH! OW!
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
NO SITTER?
JUST THE ONE YOU'RE LOOKING AT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
GONNA MISS MY GAME.
[SIGHS] [SIGHS]
HI, EVERYBODY.
D.J. D.J.
D.J., WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I WANTED TO MAKE SURE
YOU GOT A BABY-SITTER.
NEED ONE?
YES. OH, THANK YOU. THANK
YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
WELL, DAD, YOU BETTER
LEAVE. YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE.
NO. I MIGHT JUST
MAKE IT NOW. MWAH!
IS THIS A TERRIFIC KID OR WHAT?
YOU GAVE UP YOUR
SLUMBER PARTY FOR ME?
AH, D.J., THANK YOU. THANK
YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
YEAH, BUT THERE'LL
BE OTHER PARTIES.
DAD, YOU DO SO MUCH FOR ME.
THIS IS MY CHANCE TO DO
SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.
ISN'T THAT WHAT BEING PART
OF A FAMILY'S ALL ABOUT?
DO YOU HEAR THIS? YOU
REALLY ARE GROWING UP.
IT'S NOT FUN.
D.J., YOU'RE BECOMING VERY
MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE.
YEAH. I GUESS HAVING
ME FOR AN UNCLE
IS STARTING TO
RUB OFF ON YOU, D.J.
UNCLE JESSE, YOU'RE DELIRIOUS.
WELL, DAD, IF YOU'RE
NOT GONNA LEAVE,
THEN I'M GOING
BACK TO THE PARTY.
OH, I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
I AM JUST SO HONORED
TO BE PART OF THIS FAMILY.
GUYS, WE REALLY ARE
DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.
D.J, YOU ARE ONE TERRIFIC KID.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
DAD, I'M LEAVING.
I'M GONE. I'M GONE.
THANK YOU. BYE!
THE MAN LOVES TO HUG.
WELL, YOU GUYS DON'T
NEED ANYTHING, DO YOU?
YEAH. GET MY GUITAR.
YEAH. I'D LIKE MY
COLORING BOOKS.
NO CRANBERRY JUICE.
GET ME ORANGE JUICE.
[OVERLAPPING REQUESTS]
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.
♪ WHATEVER HAPPENED
TO PREDICTABILITY ♪
♪ THE MILKMAN, THE
PAPER BOY, EVENING TV ♪
♪ HOW DID I GET DELIVERED HERE ♪
♪ SOMEBODY TELL ME, PLEASE ♪
♪ THIS OLD WORLD'S
CONFUSING ME ♪
♪ CLOUDS AS MEAN
AS YOU'VE EVER SEEN ♪
♪ THERE AIN'T A BIRD
WHO KNOWS YOUR TUNE ♪
♪ THEN A LITTLE VOICE
INSIDE YOU WHISPERS ♪
♪ KID, DON'T SELL YOUR
DREAMS SO SOON ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK,
EVERYWHERE YOU ARE ♪
♪ THERE'S A HEART,
THERE'S A HEART ♪
♪ A HAND TO HOLD ON TO ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ THERE'S A FACE ♪
♪ OF SOMEBODY WHO NEEDS YOU ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ WHEN YOU'RE LOST OUT THERE ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE ALL ALONE ♪
♪ A LIGHT IS WAITING
TO CARRY YOU HOME ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK ♪
♪ SHOOBY DOO BAH BAH DAH ♪
1, 2... 1, 2, 3.
♪ BA-OOM ♪
♪ BOH-DOH ♪
♪ DOO DOO ♪
♪ BA-OOM ♪
♪ BOH-DOH ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ PLEASE, SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA, MAKE ME SPIN ♪
♪ YEAH, SOMEDAY SOON ♪
♪ YOU WILL BE MOVING ON, CHILD ♪
♪ HODJA, PLEASE ♪
♪ WON'T YOU SHOW
ME HOW YOU DO IT ♪
♪ SO WON'T YOU
LET ME BE THE ONE ♪
♪ YOU LAY THE SECRET ON, NOW ♪
♪ HODJA, WON'T YOU
LET ME BE THE... ♪
♪ HOW YA DO IT ♪
♪ IT'S A TWO, FOUR, SIX, EIGHT ♪
♪ TAKE IT FROM THE TOP ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO START ME UP ♪
♪ AND DON'T LET ME STOP ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ PLEASE, SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA, MAKE ME SPIN ♪
♪ HODJA, PLEASE,
SHOW ME HOW TO SPIN ♪
♪ I WANT TO DO THAT DANCE ♪
♪ TILL I FORGET WHERE I AM ♪
♪ SO GET UP OUT OF
YOUR BED ONE MORE TIME ♪
♪ HODJA ♪
♪ MAKE ♪
♪ NOW, HODJA,
MAKE ME SPIN, NOW ♪
♪ ME ♪
♪ WHOA-OA-OA-OA OA-OA-EEE ♪
♪ SPIN ♪
ALL RIGHT!
ONE MORE TIME!
♪ HODJA, GET OUT OF
YOUR BED AND SPIN ♪
♪ YOU GOT TO SPIN ON YOUR HEAD ♪
♪ TILL YOU'RE ALMOST DEAD... ♪
HEY, IF WE WERE ALL IN THE
SHOWER, YOU'D BE BEGGING FOR MORE.
I'D BE BEGGING TO GET OUT.
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. VERY GOOD.
I'LL SEE YOU AT DRESS
REHEARSAL TONIGHT. GOOD-BYE.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
GOOD-BYE, FELLOWS.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
VERY NICE, GUYS.
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ GOOD ♪
♪ GOO-OO-OO-OO OO-OO-OOD ♪
ALL RIGHT. WE'LL SEE
YOU AT DRESS REHEARSAL
♪ BYE ♪
GOOD-BYE! GOOD-BYE!
♪ GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ DO DO DO, GOOD-BYE ♪
♪ DO DO DO... ♪
STEF?
STEPHANIE, HONEY, ARE YOU OK?
I FEEL YUCKY.
HONEY, LET'S SEE IF
YOU FEEL ANY BETTER
IF I MOVE YOU OVER
TO THE COUCH, OK?
HERE YOU GO. THERE YOU ARE.
NOW, HOW DO YOU FEEL, HONEY?
I STILL FEEL YUCKY.
HMM. LET ME CHECK YOUR FOREHEAD.
I THINK SHE FEELS A LITTLE WARM.
LET ME SEE THAT.
HERE, LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME SEE THAT.
LET ME CHECK IT OUT.
I THINK THEY'RE ALL
RUNNING A FEVER.
SHE'S REALLY GOT A FEVER.
LOOK AT HER. SHE'S SWEATING.
CAN I ASK A QUESTION?
AREN'T I TOO YOUNG
TO GET PIMPLES?
UH-OH.
STEPHANIE, THOSE AREN'T PIMPLES.
I THINK THEY'RE CHICKEN POX.
CHICKEN POX?
I CAUGHT SOMETHING
FROM A CHICKEN?
NO, HONEY. YOU PROBABLY
JUST CAUGHT THIS
FROM SOMEBODY AT SCHOOL.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'RE GONNA BE FINE.
EVERYBODY GETS CHICKEN POX.
I HAD THEM. I HAD THEM.
I HAD THEM, TOO.
I NEVER HAD THEM
AND I NEVER WILL.
I'M IMMUNE TO CHICKEN POX.
YOU CAN'T BE IMMUNE
TO CHICKEN POX, HUH?
EVERY KID IN MY SCHOOL
HAD THEM BUT ME.
I GUESS WHEN YOU'RE AN
AWESOME PHYSICAL SPECIMEN
LIKE MY OWN BAD SELF,
GERMS TAKE ONE LOOK
AT MY BODY AND SAY,
"HEY, WHY WASTE OUR TIME?"
WOMEN SAY THE SAME THING.
THAT'S RIGHT.
OK. SO I GUESS NOBODY HERE
HAS TO WORRY ABOUT
CATCHING CHICKEN POX.
BOOO... OOOH... OH, MY GOD.
I GOT HER.
DAD, I'M ITCHING. I'M ITCHING.
SWEETHEART, REMEMBER
WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.
NO SCRATCHING.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO SCRATCH
WITH THESE ON MY HANDS?
HONEY, THOSE HELP
TAKE AWAY THE ITCH.
THEY'RE MAGIC OVEN MITTS.
DAD, GET REAL.
THEY'RE FOR TV DINNERS.
ANY SECOND NOW, YOUR
UNCLE JESSE WILL BE UP HERE
WITH SOMETHING TO
HELP STOP THE ITCHING.
IT BETTER HELP. I GOTTA BE
ALL BETTER BY TOMORROW.
THAT'S WHEN A REAL
BALLERINA IS COMING TO DANCE
FOR MY BALLET CLASS.
I KNOW, BUT IF YOU WANT
TO BE BETTER REAL SOON,
YOU'VE GOT TO GET LOTS OF
REST AND DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS.
REST. FLUIDS. GOT IT.
HEY, STEF. HERE'S YOUR JUICE.
KEEP THEM COMING, D.J.
THIS TIME, ORANGE
JUICE, BUT NO PULP.
WAIT TILL YOU GET BETTER.
ALL RIGHT. I FOUND
THE CALAMINE LOTION.
HOW DO I LOOK?
LIKE YOU SHOULD BE SPINNING
FROM THE CEILING OF A DISCO.
COME HERE, STEF. I
FOUND SOMETHING
THAT'S GONNA SUCK THE
ITCH RIGHT OUT OF YOUR BODY.
COME HERE. SIT OVER
HERE. SIT OVER HERE.
HERE. TAKE CARE OF THIS.
OH, THANKS, JESSE.
I'LL LIFT THE SHIRT.
HURRY UP! IT'S STILL ITCHING!
ALL RIGHT. GET UP HERE.
I HATE THIS!
ALL RIGHT. LET ME TELL
YOU SOMETHING NOW.
WHEN I HAD THE CHICKEN POX,
I NEVER SCRATCHED THEM
ONCE, AND YOU KNOW WHY?
I HAVEN'T THE SLIGHTEST IDEA.
BECAUSE I GOT TOUGH. GRRR!
NOW LET ME HEAR YOU BE TOUGH.
GRR.
NICE TRY.
GROWLING? PLEASE.
STEF, WHAT YOU NEED
IS STATE OF THE ART
MEDICAL TECHNOLOGY.
I GIVE YOU TEDDY ITCH-NO-MORE.
I'LL TRY ANYTHING.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. LET ME
SHOW YOU HOW HE WORKS FIRST.
OK. NOW, WHERE
DOES IT ITCH THE MOST?
MY TUMMY.
OK. SCRATCH TEDDY
ITCH-NO-MORE ON HIS TUMMY.
YEAH. NOW WE'RE IN BUSINESS.
BUT WAIT. YOU ALSO GET
THIS SPECIAL BONUS GIFT...
SOMETHING TO LET US
KNOW WHEN YOU NEED US.
TA-DA!
OH, NO.
YOU DIDN'T.
[HORN BLOWS]
THANKS, JOEY.
YEAH, THANKS,
JOEY. THANKS, JOEY.
THAT'S VERY NICE.
ALWAYS THINKING.
HERE. THIS OUGHT TO
HOLD YOU FOR 5 MINUTES.
I HOPE SO.
OK, SWEETHEART. GET IN BED.
NOW, I'M GONNA BE HERE
WITH YOU ALL WEEKEND
EXCEPT FOR TOMORROW AFTERNOON
WHEN I HAVE TO FINISH
MY SPECIAL REPORT
ON THE GOLDEN STATE
WARRIORS. THANKS.
YOUR FATHER IS ACTUALLY
GONNA PUT ON A UNIFORM,
WARM UP WITH THE TEAM,
AND SIT ON THE BENCH
DURING A REAL GAME.
GOOD FOR YOU.
AND IF 8 PLAYERS GET HURT...
AND A PEANUT VENDOR... I'M IN.
STEF, I GOT MY DRESS
REHEARSAL TONIGHT
AND MY DOO-WOP
SHOW TOMORROW NIGHT,
BUT OTHER THAN
THAT, I'M ALL YOURS.
AND I'M AVAILABLE ALL
WEEKEND BECAUSE, UH...
UNFORTUNATELY I'M
AVAILABLE ALL WEEKEND.
GREAT, 'CAUSE I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'M GOING TO SALLY PENZO'S HOUSE
FOR MY VERY FIRST SLUMBER PARTY.
I'M SO NERVOUS.
I'M IN CHARGE OF MAKING
SURE NOBODY FALLS ASLEEP.
I DON'T MEAN TO BE RUDE,
BUT I GOTTA GET SOME REST.
OUT, OUT, OUT,
OUT, OUT, OUT, OUT.
SHE'S REALLY TOO
CUTE TO BE YOUR KID.
[HORN BLOWS]
WHAT IS IT, HONEY? WHAT? WHAT?
JUST TESTING.
WELL, IT WORKS.
DAD, DO I REALLY HAVE
TO SLEEP IN THE NURSERY?
IT'S WAY TOO CUTE IN HERE.
STEPHANIE NEEDS HER REST.
D.J., ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT
YOU AREN'T THRILLED TO DEATH
TO SHARE A ROOM WITH THIS
LITTLE BUNDLE OF BABY FUN?
THAT'S NOT FAIR. HA HA HA!
GOOD NIGHT, D.J.
AND GOOD NIGHT, MICHELLE. MWAH!
[HORN BLOWS]
SOMETHING TELLS ME I
OUGHT TO CHECK ON STEPHANIE.
[HORN BLOWS]
AND KILL JOEY.
GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT.
OK, MICHELLE.
NOW, HOW MANY PEOPLE THINK
MICHELLE SHOULD GO TO SLEEP?
I DO! ONE TO NOTHING. I WIN.
WELL, NIGHT-NIGHT, MICHELLE.
SLEEP TIGHT.
UH-BA-BA.
NO, MICHELLE. THIS IS
NOT A SLUMBER PARTY.
NOW, YOU NEED
SOME SLEEP. LIE DOWN.
[SIGHS]
UHHH...
NOW, MICHELLE, I MEAN IT.
GO TO SLEEP.
BYE... NO BYE-BYE. NIGHT-NIGHT.
SIT.
LIE DOWN.
THIS IS A GOOD FINGER.
[BLOWS]
D.J., CHECK THIS OUT.
♪ DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH
DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH ♪
♪ DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH
DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH DAH ♪
MAYBE IF I HOLD THE
BALL STILL AND I SPIN,
I'LL ACTUALLY CREATE THE
ILLUSION THAT I CAN DO THIS.
D.J., HEY. SLOW DOWN.
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO
CHUG-A-LUG YOUR CEREAL.
SORRY, DAD. THEY'RE
PICKING ME UP IN 2 MINUTES
FOR MY VERY FIRST SLUMBER PARTY.
I UNDERSTAND, BUT DO YOU ALSO WANT
YOUR VERY FIRST HEIMLICH MANEUVER?
UHH! MORNING.
NICE LOOK, JESSE.
DID YOUR BLOW-DRYER SHORT OUT?
OH, JESSE, WHAT'S
WRONG WITH YOU?
NOTHING. I'M FINE. UHH! REALLY.
I'M FINE.
MORNING, JOEY.
OH... I GOT A FEVER.
I'M SWEATY. I'M CHILLY.
OBVIOUSLY, IT'S MALARIA.
LOOK AT ALL THESE
MOSQUITO BITES.
THOSE AREN'T MOSQUITO BITES.
THOSE ARE CHICKEN POX.
THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. I'M IMMUNE.
YOU'RE IMMUNE TO COMMON SENSE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
FACE IT. YOU GOT
THE CHICKEN POX.
OK, BUT AS SOON AS I'M
OVER THIS, I'M IMMUNE.
HELLO. OH, HELLO, MOTHER.
HOW'S PALM SPRINGS?
OH, YEAH. FINE.
EVERYTHING'S FINE HERE,
EXCEPT STEPHANIE AND
JOEY HAVE THE CHICKEN POX.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
MOTHER, I HAD THE CHICKEN
POX. REMEMBER HOW TOUGH I WAS?
IT WAS AN ALLERGIC
REACTION TO WOOL?
BUT I WAS STILL TOUGH.
YES, I KNOW. FLUIDS...
LOTS OF REST...
OH. NO DATING. BYE, MOTHER.
I'M IN TROUBLE.
THE STATION IS COUNTING ON ME
TO BE WITH THE WARRIORS,
AND I GOT 2 BABY-SITTERS
WHO CAN'T GO NEAR THE BABY.
I'VE GOT TO FIND A SITTER.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
WELL, GOT TO GO.
I'LL BE RIGHT THERE.
YOU'LL BE FINE, WON'T YOU, DAD?
OH, HONEY, I'LL BE FINE.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.
I'LL START CALLING AROUND.
THERE'S GOT TO BE, OH,
AT LEAST 20 SITTERS IN HERE
JUST DYING TO
MAKE $1.50 AN HOUR.
HONEY, YOU GO. YOU GO
SLUMBER PARTY HEARTY.
DAD, THAT WAS ALMOST HIP.
YOU SURE YOU'LL BE OK?
OH, I'M POSITIVE. GO. GO. GO.
OK. BYE.
GREAT. I'VE GOT 47
MINUTES TO FIND A SITTER.
GUYS, I MAY BE ALMOST HIP,
BUT I AM DEFINITELY IN TROUBLE.
GUYS?
GUYS.
GOOD-BYE, CHICKEN POX PRISON.
HELLO, BALLERINA.
[FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS]
YIKES!
UHH!
[FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS]
OH... WHERE'S MY BACON,
EGGS, TOAST, JUICE, AND TEA?
DANNY, WHERE ARE YOU?
ON THE PHONE, CALLING SITTERS.
OH... ALL RIGHT. I'LL
GIVE YOU A HAND.
I'LL WRITE DOWN
EXACTLY WHAT I WANT.
OH, WHERE THE HECK IS A
PEN WHEN YOU NEED ONE?
OH.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MUST BE SICKER THAN I THOUGHT.
[SIGHS]
PLEASE, DERRICK,
YOU CAN'T REPLACE ME.
I'VE SHOT ALL THE OTHER FOOTAGE.
I'VE DONE ALL THE
OTHER INTERVIEWS.
DERRICK, I'M ALREADY WEARING
THE SUIT. I LOOK REALLY CUTE.
YES. DON'T WORRY. I'LL BE THERE.
RIGHT. 37 MINUTES.
37 MINUTES?
Joey: DANNY.
I'M COMING.
I WISH CHICKEN POX
CAUSED LARYNGITIS.
GOT TO FIND A BABY-SITTER.
I'M HISTORY.
Jesse: FREEZE!
WELL, WELL, WELL,
WELL, WELL, WELL, WELL.
WHAT HAVE WE HERE?
HELLO, MR. COCHRAN.
AND HELLO TO YOU,
LITTLE STRANGER.
DO I KNOW YOU?
I'M MY FRIEND KAREN.
I JUST CAME BY TO VISIT
POOR LITTLE STEPHANIE.
OH, THAT'S VERY
CONSIDERATE OF YOU... KAREN.
SHE'S MISSING A REAL BALLERINA.
OH! WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
GO UPSTAIRS AND SAY HI?
AS YOU KNOW, STEPHANIE'S
VERY SICK WITH THE CHICKEN POX
AND SHOULDN'T BE GOING ANYWHERE.
CHICKEN POX? I BETTER
GET OUT OF HERE.
NOT SO FAST, KAREN.
IT'S TOO LATE.
YOU PROBABLY ALREADY
GOT THEM FROM ME.
UNCLE JESSE, YOU HAVE
THE CHICKEN POX, TOO?
WHAT WAS THAT... KAREN?
I MEAN... MR. UNCLE... I MEAN...
UNCLE COCHRAN...
I MEAN... JESSE...
MISTER... I MEAN... I...
I... I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
IT'S ME. IT'S ME. STEPHANIE.
UNBELIEVABLE.
STEPHANIE T...
I COULD HAVE SWORN
IT WAS LAUREN BACALL.
NOW...
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
OUT OF BED, YOUNG LADY?
I'M ALL BETTER.
THEN WHAT ARE THOSE LITTLE
BUMPS ALL OVER YOUR FACE?
THOSE ARE... MY
"ALL BETTER BUMPS."
I WISH THEY WERE, KID, BUT
WE BOTH KNOW THEY'RE NOT.
NOW, COME ON.
BE CAREFUL. MY CHICKEN POX.
RIGHT. YEAH. I KNOW. I KNOW.
ALL RIGHT. NOW, STEF...
UNFORTUNATELY, BEING
SICK SOMETIMES MEANS
HAVING TO MISS OUT ON SOMETHING
THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO,
BUT THE TRICK IS,
YOU GOTTA BE TOUGH,
LIKE YOUR UNCLE JESSE.
DOES THIS MEAN YOU DON'T CARE
ABOUT MISSING YOUR DOO-WOP SHOW?
OH... I GOT TO MISS
MY DOO-WOP SHOW.
REMEMBER WHAT YOU TOLD ME.
BE TOUGH. GRRRRRRRR!
GRRRRR.
COME ON, KID. I'LL GET
YOU SOME PJs, ALL RIGHT?
HERE WE GO. THE
CHICKEN POX TWINS.
GET THE STRUT DOWN. GET
THE CHICKEN STRUT. THAT'S IT.
JOSEPH, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
WHOEVER SAID LIFE IS FAIR?
2 GROWN MEN DABBING
GOOP ON THEIR BODIES.
I CALL THAT UNFAIR.
YOU THINK THIS IS UNFAIR? LET'S
TALK ABOUT SALMON, SHALL WE?
SALMON WAIT THEIR WHOLE LIVES TO
SWIM HUNDREDS OF MILES UPSTREAM,
MAKE LOVE ONCE AND DROP DEAD.
NOW, THAT IS UNFAIR.
WHAT THE HELL ARE
YOU TALKING ABOUT?
I AM TALKING ABOUT MAKING
THE BEST OF A SITUATION.
SURE, I'M ITCHING, BUT I'M
ITCHING WITH A SMILE ON MY FACE.
ITCH, DAB.
ITCH... HA HA! DAB.
ITCH... HA! DAB, DAB, DAB.
YOU, MY FRIEND, ARE A WIMP.
YOU THINK THAT
BECAUSE I ITCH, I'M A WIMP?
NO. THERE'S QUITE A FEW
OTHER REASONS, JOSEPH.
LET'S JUST SEE WHO
SCRATCHES FIRST, SHALL WE?
FINE.
THAT'S A BEAUT UP THERE
ON THAT FOREHEAD OF YOURS.
YEAH?
BET YOU'D LOVE TO TAKE
A RAKE TO THAT BABY.
OOH, CHECK OUT THAT RED,
THROBBING STROBE LIGHT ON YOUR NOSE.
YEAH. YEAH, THAT ONE.
YEAH. IF THIS WERE THE
MONTH OF DECEMBER,
YOU'D FIND YOURSELF PULLING
A SLEIGH FULL OF TOYS, PAL.
HA HA HA HA... OW!
HA HA HA HA... OW!
OH!
YOU KNOW, I WAS WONDERING
JUST WHAT I WOULD
LOOK LIKE WITH A BEARD.
SCRATCHING!
I WAS WONDERING!
YOU KNOW, YOU GOT ME
WONDERING A LITTLE MYSELF.
I'M FEELING A LITTLE HEFTY.
JOSEPH, AM I PUTTING
ON ANY WEIGHT HERE?
SCRATCHING! I WAS WONDERING!
JUST LIKE YOU, WONDERING,
WONDERING, WONDERING. EVEN.
AH, THESE CLOTHES
ARE KILLING ME!
UHH! AH-AH-AH-AH-AH
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH.
AH-AH-AH-AH-AH. AH! AH! AH!
AH! AH! AH! AH! YOU KNOW...
I GOT AN IDEA. WHAT?
IF YOU SCRATCH ME,
AND I SCRATCH YOU,
THEN WE'RE BOTH STILL
TOUGH GUYS, RIGHT?
TOUGH YET RESOURCEFUL.
GET MY BACK!
GET MINE. GET MINE.
TOGETHER. DOWN.
UP. DOWN.
DOWN. UP.
SHOULDERS. SHOULDERS.
AH! OOH! OH!
SCRATCH MY HEAD,
SCRATCH MY HEAD.
OH! OH! OH!
OH! AH!
HELLO. HELLO.
HELLO, MR. ZUCKERMAN.
HI. THIS IS DANNY TANNER.
YEAH. I DESPERATELY
NEED A BABY-SITTER.
IS YOUR DAUGHTER HOME?
OH... OH. HOW ABOUT YOU?
HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED PICKING
UP A LITTLE EXTRA CHANGE BABY-SITTING?
HELLO?
HELLO?
OH... "OH" IS RIGHT.
THAT'S IT, MICHELLE.
THE END OF THE LIST.
YOU HAVE ANY LUCK?
DON'T TEASE ME LIKE THAT.
I'M DEAD. UNLESS I CALL
SALLY PENZO'S HOUSE
AND GET AHOLD OF D.J. BEFORE SHE
GOES TO CARMEL FOR THE SLUMBER PARTY.
YEAH. THEN SHE COULD
MAKE IT BACK IN TIME,
AND I COULD GET TO MY GAME.
OH, BUT, MICHELLE, SHE'S BEEN
LOOKING FORWARD TO THIS FOR WEEKS.
IT'S HER VERY FIRST
SLUMBER PARTY.
BUT THEN AGAIN, IT'S MY
VERY FIRST WARRIORS GAME.
AH, BUT IF SHE MISSES THAT
PARTY, IT'S GONNA BREAK HER HEART.
WHAT DO YOU THINK, MICHELLE?
SHOULD I CALL UP D.J. OR NOT?
D-D-AAH.
VERY TEMPTING.
BUT I JUST CAN'T DO THAT TO D.J.
WE COULD STILL PLAY, THOUGH.
YEAH. LET'S CALL EACH OTHER.
HELLO, MICHELLE. HI. IT'S DADDY.
YOU HUNG UP ON YOUR FATHER?
OOF!
AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH! AH!
OOH!
AH!
OOH!
♪ THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE MEN ♪
♪ WORKIN' ON THE CHAIN ♪
OOH! AH!
♪ GANG ♪
♪ DON'T YOU KNOW ♪
♪ OH, THAT'S THE
SOUND OF THE MEN ♪
♪ WORKIN' ON THE CHAIN ♪
♪ GANG ♪
♪ HERE'S SOME
TUNA FISH AND SOUP ♪
♪ IT'S NUTRITIOUS
AND DELICIOUS ♪
♪ AND IT'S GREAT
TO FIGHT INFECTION ♪
♪ FOR THE FAMILY THAT I LOVE ♪
JOEY?
I'M NOT HUNGRY.
JESSE.
ME NEITHER.
STEF?
I'M NAUSEOUS.
AW... AW, SLIDE OVER.
AH! AH! OW!
I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
NO SITTER?
JUST THE ONE YOU'RE LOOKING AT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M
GONNA MISS MY GAME.
[SIGHS] [SIGHS]
HI, EVERYBODY.
D.J. D.J.
D.J., WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I WANTED TO MAKE SURE
YOU GOT A BABY-SITTER.
NEED ONE?
YES. OH, THANK YOU. THANK
YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
WELL, DAD, YOU BETTER
LEAVE. YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE.
NO. I MIGHT JUST
MAKE IT NOW. MWAH!
IS THIS A TERRIFIC KID OR WHAT?
YOU GAVE UP YOUR
SLUMBER PARTY FOR ME?
AH, D.J., THANK YOU. THANK
YOU, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.
YEAH, BUT THERE'LL
BE OTHER PARTIES.
DAD, YOU DO SO MUCH FOR ME.
THIS IS MY CHANCE TO DO
SOMETHING NICE FOR YOU.
ISN'T THAT WHAT BEING PART
OF A FAMILY'S ALL ABOUT?
DO YOU HEAR THIS? YOU
REALLY ARE GROWING UP.
IT'S NOT FUN.
D.J., YOU'RE BECOMING VERY
MATURE AND RESPONSIBLE.
YEAH. I GUESS HAVING
ME FOR AN UNCLE
IS STARTING TO
RUB OFF ON YOU, D.J.
UNCLE JESSE, YOU'RE DELIRIOUS.
WELL, DAD, IF YOU'RE
NOT GONNA LEAVE,
THEN I'M GOING
BACK TO THE PARTY.
OH, I'M OUT OF HERE.
I'M OUT OF HERE.
I AM JUST SO HONORED
TO BE PART OF THIS FAMILY.
GUYS, WE REALLY ARE
DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.
D.J, YOU ARE ONE TERRIFIC KID.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!
DAD, I'M LEAVING.
I'M GONE. I'M GONE.
THANK YOU. BYE!
THE MAN LOVES TO HUG.
WELL, YOU GUYS DON'T
NEED ANYTHING, DO YOU?
YEAH. GET MY GUITAR.
YEAH. I'D LIKE MY
COLORING BOOKS.
NO CRANBERRY JUICE.
GET ME ORANGE JUICE.
[OVERLAPPING REQUESTS]
CAPTIONING MADE
POSSIBLE BY WARNER BROS.