From Here on OUT (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - The OUT Cover-(Up) - full transcript
Taylor sets up an interview for Jimmy and Sam as Hollywood's unlikely new power couple for cover of OUT magazine. They struggle to sell their relationship to the dubious editor who's done a little research of his own.
Would one of you
cousins like to be naked on TV?
Action!
Missile threw him into the air
and burnt off all
his clothes Really?
Cut! Groundbreaking television
thank you so much, okay
oop!
You have a very very sexy
assistant
Sure am looking forward to our
sex scene later
You don't wanna go there
Jimmy and I are a real couple
and
he's the jealous type
Quit! Shaking!
Your! Dick!
At my man!
It's uh, it's Matt, right?
And the other bar tender is, uh
no, no don't tell me, uh, OH!
Dane! Shane.
Ah! Shane! So
Noisy in here I thought he said
Dane... he left?
Uh, he's around... somewhere
Oh... well, I
wanted to wait till it died
down before I bugged you but, uh
I'm a TV producer
ahhh... hehe! I know right!
I still get giddy when I say it
myself
sometimes! Heh! Anyway
uh, the next episode takes
place in
uh, Sweden Damn that's good
Thanks!
Okay, I know its
cliche to ask a sexy bar
tender in Las Angeles this, but
are
you by any chance
an actor? Ohhhh yeah
Hell yeah!
Love the enthusiasm, aheh!
Uh, would you be interested in
being in my show?
You're offering me an acting
job?
Well, if you're available this
week
An actual role!
Oof... here's my card! Oh!
Great! I'll call ya!
Heh...
okay...
mmkay here you go..
Oh do they have
any organic skim milk? Oh
sorry I forgot to ask, I-
No, no, no it's okay
it's okay. I just didn't wanna
drink it out of
this stupid purple thermos
I told Nana Dotty I don't like
purple anymore, I like
turquoise... Oh!
Oh-ho, here
I'm done use my glass
well, it... had alcohol in it,
I'm not
21 yet. Am I allowed?
Go crazy. Noooo way Taylor
Don't even think about it
Zip it!
Brad! Or I'll tell Nana Dotty
that you forgot to take me to
get my Flu
Shot.
Thank you.
Woo! That's got a
kick! Whoo!
Everyone's gone! Yeah, we
get one afternoon off and we
have to spend it here
When are we gonna meet the
magazine guy?
Oh Darren Strickland was here
but he left. He said he was
bored.
And had better things to do.
Isn't this his house?
His afternoon tea party?
If there's one thing that Nana
Dotty has taught
me, it is that English People
are brutally honest.
So, what's Strickland doin
for us? Well the next issue of
Out is the same day that our
first episode
airs, and it is the keystone to
my
master plan!
I pitched you two for the cover
the cover! Seriously!?
I know! This could be the push
that gets us an audience and
keeps us on air
frickin awesome!
Hehehehe He said no
Oh.
He said just because we had a
new show doesn't mean
he's gonna put two gay nobodies
on the cover
But, wait, doesn't Here TV own
Out? Can't you make the editor
give us
the cover? I don't make
an editor run a story! I
suggest! If he doesn't do it
I respect his judgement
and then kill his Christmas
Bonus
Then...
why are we here?
Well he was gonna have that guy
who hosted the Tony's
and his husband on the cover
You know, the older dude
You mean
Neil Patrick Harris?
Older dude? Ouch.
Yeah that's the one. He wanted
to
change up his image and go all
shirtless
stud for the photoshoot so he
did
one of those 90 day workouts
Darren said it really buffed up
his
chest, only problem is
he started lactating. Every
time he crosses
his arms milk squirts out his
left nipple
It's kinda gross if you think
about it. Anyway. I said 'darren
they are not nobodies!"
"They are the first gay
couple to be creator and star
of a
Television series!" Nice!
So we're in! Well Darren
wants to do a little checking
in to your background
first. Oh...
You mean like, investigate?
Does he know I just came out
a couple of weeks ago?
Well, I told him
But he thought maybe you two
were
faking being boyfriends for
publicity
or something! Oh ahhahaha
hahahah! Hahaha!
Hahaha
That is ridiculous! Yeah,
completely nuts! Haha
yeah, right? hahaha. Anyway.
Darren's gonna interview you two
at the office tomorrow
and get the real story, so,
maybe
we've got the cover!
Oh!!!!!
I'm an actor
too
That's for english speaking
subscribers
for illegal aliens
and terrorists
theres a 6 month background
check
did you just call me a
terrorist?!
English, please!
Oh! You the one with funny
accent, OLD
WOMAN! You talk like
Madonna! You'll have to hold
There's a call coming in
that I care about. I am a star
of a Here TV television show
Good Morning Nana Dotty
Awe, there you are, my little
Taylor
Nana Dotty must have been
powdering her nose this morning
when you came in
You know Nana Dotty
is cranky wanky until
she gets her morning kiss from
her baby
little man! Aheh!
Sorry! I'm helping set up for
the interview, I'll
be there in a minute!
mmkay. Aheh.
Okay, watch the wall
alright..
Okay
This is the coffee table
you wanted? Mmhmm!
He didn't charge ten dollars,
he paid me
ten dollars to haul it away!
Here's your money back
hehe.
Now this joint is REALLY going
to feel like home.
If you're Betsey Ross
Oh, Randell, are you
affiliated with a drug mule
named
Devina Sunghe
Devina, yeah! Why?
Yeah. She's trying to order
Here TV
Hello?
Hello! Uh, yes
uh, I'm sorry but your
name isn't on the account
of the address you're giving me
Do you want me to talk to her?
Did I ask you
to do my job?
No, I'm afraid my hands are tied
my I suggest you
try self-deportation?
Dotty! Devina is letting us
shoot the show at her
employer's home
so lets be a little more
tactful.
You are bugging me Randell!
No, not that way!
The other way! Put it the other
way!
The other way!!!
Fine, don't stroke out
over it! Hello!
Oh, oh
We're going into a tunnel! I'm
losing you!
Really?
You got a problem?
Enjoy your coffee table
I will.
Oh! You guys are here
Hi Nana Dotty
can I have a treat?
Yes of course you can, hunnybun!
Hehe! Mmm!
Brad!
Where have you been?
Oh. Nana Dotty spilled
extra hot coffee on me
hehe... Accidentally.
Hehehehe
Ooh, I've been waiting all
morning to see this
sweet face!
Now we're all handsome again
oh! MMMwwah!
Mmm! Now Nana Dotty is
not cranky wanky anymore
Thank god.
Sam should
do this shirtless, no? This
is journalism, Taylor, not
pay-per-view
we shant toss away our sense of
decorum chasing
ratings.
Without a british accent that
would sound so stupid.
Alright
we'll compromise, unbutton it!
Okay, then.
Here we go!
Cheers!
I'm Darren Strickland, editor of
Out magazine, and today I'm in
bed with
Jimmy Randell and Sam Decker
creator and star of
Here TV's SEXY new program
Guy Dubai: International
Gay Spy. But
what's more intriguing is that
these
two mismatched socks
claim to be a real-life couple!
Hahaha!
Other than sex
what's the most romantic
thing you two like to do
together?
Uh... Well
we're just jumping in the
deep end aren't we? eehhaha
uhhh... Sex
is definitely terrific,
that's for sure. Hunny,
What do you think? Um..
Well, sweetie
uh, Right now I have a lot of
writing to do, while you
uh... Play Tennis
eh, puh, that
doesn't sound very romantic
We make it romantic
heh he sits
beside me on the tennis court
writing while I
run around naked
playing tennis
alone?
Yep! Balls are flying everywhere
hehe Interesting.
How did you two
meet? I was
auditioning for Guy Dubai, that
was
what? Uh, Three
weeks ago, aheh! But it seems
seems longer. You know? It was
just
love at first sight but, heh!
I'm sure
everyone would rather hear about
Guy Dubai than us! Right?
Well, he, uh... Ahh! Was it love
at first sight for you, too
Sam, hm?
Oh, yeah!
Absolutely
Oh, interesting.
Lets watch a clip from an
interview
we did yesterday with
your former girlfriend
Gina!
Oh... okay..
Hello
We're looking for a Gina
Bennit. Are you
her mother? No I'm not
her mother! I'm Gina Bennit
what is this!
When did you first learn that
your ex-boyfriend pp
Sam Decker was gay?
Two, maybe three weeks ago
he was straight, now he's gay!
Just like that? It can happen
believe me. But I guarantee!
It's not my fault
my ex-husband is
gay as a pickle but he still
drunk-dials
me every year during the Tony
Awards
begging for sex. Facinating
I'm not lying! I mean that man
could only get up during a
Stephen Sondeim
ballad. Ahah! I could run
around in my
bra and panties, and nothin',
but the minute I
hum a little somethin' from
Sweeney Todd
he's humpin me like a camel
how nice for you. Uh, did you
ever have any suspicions that
Sam might
be gay? Well I never had to
hum any show tunes if that's
what you mean
Sam's
a "Gifted Lover" and he's very
willing
and able to satisfy his mama
two maybe five times a night if
you get what
I'm saying. Ahehehe. Subtle
yes, but I do believe we got it
How did you hear
Sam came out?
Well he was banging me so hard
my temporary crown fell out,
then
he said "This is gonna have to
hold you for a while cause I'm
goin to the gay side"
haha.
I'm gonna miss him. Especially
part of him.
Heheheheheheh
Are you sure these few weeks
with Jimmy
aren't just some curious
LGBT field trip?
Well...
Well you know Sam has been
with lots of men
uhuh. Sure have.
Care to give us any names? Uh
mostly actors
from student films and
equity waver plays, those
things are like
mini low-budget orgies! Ahahaha
You know Sam's not one to
orgy and tell, so!
Maybe we should just let that
lie.
Heheheh... ish
Interesting. Jimmy I'm anxious
for you to look at a clip as
well
oh wow! This is like
this is your life
so fun...
Well I started collecting
victorian-era antique
children's bath
toys in... Fascinating, really
but what do you think about
Jimmy Randell
dating his NEW star
Sam Decker!
Uh, this is
Its certainly the first time
hearing about this..what..
What did you say this actors
name was?
Sam Decker
I'll uh... I'll google him
it'd be nice to know what
Jimmy's type
is. Apparently it's not
me. How long have you known
Jimmy? Sixteen
years!
A few have been...
What are
you? Just
forgive me, please! I am in
complete shock
here, alright? And you'd think
he'd have the decency to call
so I don't find out about his
Showmance from some reporter!
I was with Jimmy
through all his years as a
struggling
writer, okay? We would go dutch
to taco night at Hamburger
Mary's!
And if he ever did occasionally
buy me a drink, it was always
the Well Vodka, never the good
stuff
and, and then a little bit of
success
and BAM! I'm run over by the
media bus!
Next question!
Who's Richard!?
Just someone I used to
date... hehe... you know, uh
Richard
likes to be dramatic and...
I was very busy, and
I neglected to, yanno, give him
a call
WOOPS!
My bad...
When were you gonna tell me?
Uh. can we just take a little
potty break?
Just a quick
little... Eh but but!
But! We're
oh!
Our interview's sucking and
you're like
"who's Richard!"
If my boyfriend has a boyfriend
shouldn't I know about it?
He's not my
boyfriend!
You're not my boyfriend!
Richard is just someone who on
rare occasions preforms the
services of a boyfriend. Big
Difference.
He doesn't mean anything to you?
What Is this!? Jeez!
And who's Gina!?
Huh/ Shouldn't I know about
her?!
You tell me you've been playing
the field and all of a sudden I
find out
you've been going steady with
Betty White!?
Don't knock it till you've tried it!
And why wasn't she
surprised by the news!?
I know!
You TOLD her!
Well I had to tell someone!
Well, I didn't! We promised we
wouldn't!
Oh so you're a better person
than me
Hey guys
oh, so I was chillin with Darren
and he was like "I think this is
to make the cover
we're desperate!" This is
totally sick
wow so it's really happening
just pray any gay celebs don't
uh,
get arrested or discover the
cure for cancer or anything
in the next few days
can you guys leave I'm
pee-shy
oh...
Brad, turn on the water and
start singing
oh.
You've gotta be kidding me!
You're not SINGING
Oh-oh Say can
you pee?
If I turn out
the lights
Ball? But my junk will show!
Thats it! We've got it!
Who is my hunny bunny!
I am! Uh, Rico can stand in
oh but I'm very, very shy
we know. Rico are you in here?
Uh! Rico!
He's dead. Fall knocked off his
towel
Anybody seen this guy before?
He's the dead guy
straight guys aint lookin at
his junk
we're lookin at his fa-
none of them have the acting
chops to pull off a lie that big
you're relationship is like
money
in the bank
cousins like to be naked on TV?
Action!
Missile threw him into the air
and burnt off all
his clothes Really?
Cut! Groundbreaking television
thank you so much, okay
oop!
You have a very very sexy
assistant
Sure am looking forward to our
sex scene later
You don't wanna go there
Jimmy and I are a real couple
and
he's the jealous type
Quit! Shaking!
Your! Dick!
At my man!
It's uh, it's Matt, right?
And the other bar tender is, uh
no, no don't tell me, uh, OH!
Dane! Shane.
Ah! Shane! So
Noisy in here I thought he said
Dane... he left?
Uh, he's around... somewhere
Oh... well, I
wanted to wait till it died
down before I bugged you but, uh
I'm a TV producer
ahhh... hehe! I know right!
I still get giddy when I say it
myself
sometimes! Heh! Anyway
uh, the next episode takes
place in
uh, Sweden Damn that's good
Thanks!
Okay, I know its
cliche to ask a sexy bar
tender in Las Angeles this, but
are
you by any chance
an actor? Ohhhh yeah
Hell yeah!
Love the enthusiasm, aheh!
Uh, would you be interested in
being in my show?
You're offering me an acting
job?
Well, if you're available this
week
An actual role!
Oof... here's my card! Oh!
Great! I'll call ya!
Heh...
okay...
mmkay here you go..
Oh do they have
any organic skim milk? Oh
sorry I forgot to ask, I-
No, no, no it's okay
it's okay. I just didn't wanna
drink it out of
this stupid purple thermos
I told Nana Dotty I don't like
purple anymore, I like
turquoise... Oh!
Oh-ho, here
I'm done use my glass
well, it... had alcohol in it,
I'm not
21 yet. Am I allowed?
Go crazy. Noooo way Taylor
Don't even think about it
Zip it!
Brad! Or I'll tell Nana Dotty
that you forgot to take me to
get my Flu
Shot.
Thank you.
Woo! That's got a
kick! Whoo!
Everyone's gone! Yeah, we
get one afternoon off and we
have to spend it here
When are we gonna meet the
magazine guy?
Oh Darren Strickland was here
but he left. He said he was
bored.
And had better things to do.
Isn't this his house?
His afternoon tea party?
If there's one thing that Nana
Dotty has taught
me, it is that English People
are brutally honest.
So, what's Strickland doin
for us? Well the next issue of
Out is the same day that our
first episode
airs, and it is the keystone to
my
master plan!
I pitched you two for the cover
the cover! Seriously!?
I know! This could be the push
that gets us an audience and
keeps us on air
frickin awesome!
Hehehehe He said no
Oh.
He said just because we had a
new show doesn't mean
he's gonna put two gay nobodies
on the cover
But, wait, doesn't Here TV own
Out? Can't you make the editor
give us
the cover? I don't make
an editor run a story! I
suggest! If he doesn't do it
I respect his judgement
and then kill his Christmas
Bonus
Then...
why are we here?
Well he was gonna have that guy
who hosted the Tony's
and his husband on the cover
You know, the older dude
You mean
Neil Patrick Harris?
Older dude? Ouch.
Yeah that's the one. He wanted
to
change up his image and go all
shirtless
stud for the photoshoot so he
did
one of those 90 day workouts
Darren said it really buffed up
his
chest, only problem is
he started lactating. Every
time he crosses
his arms milk squirts out his
left nipple
It's kinda gross if you think
about it. Anyway. I said 'darren
they are not nobodies!"
"They are the first gay
couple to be creator and star
of a
Television series!" Nice!
So we're in! Well Darren
wants to do a little checking
in to your background
first. Oh...
You mean like, investigate?
Does he know I just came out
a couple of weeks ago?
Well, I told him
But he thought maybe you two
were
faking being boyfriends for
publicity
or something! Oh ahhahaha
hahahah! Hahaha!
Hahaha
That is ridiculous! Yeah,
completely nuts! Haha
yeah, right? hahaha. Anyway.
Darren's gonna interview you two
at the office tomorrow
and get the real story, so,
maybe
we've got the cover!
Oh!!!!!
I'm an actor
too
That's for english speaking
subscribers
for illegal aliens
and terrorists
theres a 6 month background
check
did you just call me a
terrorist?!
English, please!
Oh! You the one with funny
accent, OLD
WOMAN! You talk like
Madonna! You'll have to hold
There's a call coming in
that I care about. I am a star
of a Here TV television show
Good Morning Nana Dotty
Awe, there you are, my little
Taylor
Nana Dotty must have been
powdering her nose this morning
when you came in
You know Nana Dotty
is cranky wanky until
she gets her morning kiss from
her baby
little man! Aheh!
Sorry! I'm helping set up for
the interview, I'll
be there in a minute!
mmkay. Aheh.
Okay, watch the wall
alright..
Okay
This is the coffee table
you wanted? Mmhmm!
He didn't charge ten dollars,
he paid me
ten dollars to haul it away!
Here's your money back
hehe.
Now this joint is REALLY going
to feel like home.
If you're Betsey Ross
Oh, Randell, are you
affiliated with a drug mule
named
Devina Sunghe
Devina, yeah! Why?
Yeah. She's trying to order
Here TV
Hello?
Hello! Uh, yes
uh, I'm sorry but your
name isn't on the account
of the address you're giving me
Do you want me to talk to her?
Did I ask you
to do my job?
No, I'm afraid my hands are tied
my I suggest you
try self-deportation?
Dotty! Devina is letting us
shoot the show at her
employer's home
so lets be a little more
tactful.
You are bugging me Randell!
No, not that way!
The other way! Put it the other
way!
The other way!!!
Fine, don't stroke out
over it! Hello!
Oh, oh
We're going into a tunnel! I'm
losing you!
Really?
You got a problem?
Enjoy your coffee table
I will.
Oh! You guys are here
Hi Nana Dotty
can I have a treat?
Yes of course you can, hunnybun!
Hehe! Mmm!
Brad!
Where have you been?
Oh. Nana Dotty spilled
extra hot coffee on me
hehe... Accidentally.
Hehehehe
Ooh, I've been waiting all
morning to see this
sweet face!
Now we're all handsome again
oh! MMMwwah!
Mmm! Now Nana Dotty is
not cranky wanky anymore
Thank god.
Sam should
do this shirtless, no? This
is journalism, Taylor, not
pay-per-view
we shant toss away our sense of
decorum chasing
ratings.
Without a british accent that
would sound so stupid.
Alright
we'll compromise, unbutton it!
Okay, then.
Here we go!
Cheers!
I'm Darren Strickland, editor of
Out magazine, and today I'm in
bed with
Jimmy Randell and Sam Decker
creator and star of
Here TV's SEXY new program
Guy Dubai: International
Gay Spy. But
what's more intriguing is that
these
two mismatched socks
claim to be a real-life couple!
Hahaha!
Other than sex
what's the most romantic
thing you two like to do
together?
Uh... Well
we're just jumping in the
deep end aren't we? eehhaha
uhhh... Sex
is definitely terrific,
that's for sure. Hunny,
What do you think? Um..
Well, sweetie
uh, Right now I have a lot of
writing to do, while you
uh... Play Tennis
eh, puh, that
doesn't sound very romantic
We make it romantic
heh he sits
beside me on the tennis court
writing while I
run around naked
playing tennis
alone?
Yep! Balls are flying everywhere
hehe Interesting.
How did you two
meet? I was
auditioning for Guy Dubai, that
was
what? Uh, Three
weeks ago, aheh! But it seems
seems longer. You know? It was
just
love at first sight but, heh!
I'm sure
everyone would rather hear about
Guy Dubai than us! Right?
Well, he, uh... Ahh! Was it love
at first sight for you, too
Sam, hm?
Oh, yeah!
Absolutely
Oh, interesting.
Lets watch a clip from an
interview
we did yesterday with
your former girlfriend
Gina!
Oh... okay..
Hello
We're looking for a Gina
Bennit. Are you
her mother? No I'm not
her mother! I'm Gina Bennit
what is this!
When did you first learn that
your ex-boyfriend pp
Sam Decker was gay?
Two, maybe three weeks ago
he was straight, now he's gay!
Just like that? It can happen
believe me. But I guarantee!
It's not my fault
my ex-husband is
gay as a pickle but he still
drunk-dials
me every year during the Tony
Awards
begging for sex. Facinating
I'm not lying! I mean that man
could only get up during a
Stephen Sondeim
ballad. Ahah! I could run
around in my
bra and panties, and nothin',
but the minute I
hum a little somethin' from
Sweeney Todd
he's humpin me like a camel
how nice for you. Uh, did you
ever have any suspicions that
Sam might
be gay? Well I never had to
hum any show tunes if that's
what you mean
Sam's
a "Gifted Lover" and he's very
willing
and able to satisfy his mama
two maybe five times a night if
you get what
I'm saying. Ahehehe. Subtle
yes, but I do believe we got it
How did you hear
Sam came out?
Well he was banging me so hard
my temporary crown fell out,
then
he said "This is gonna have to
hold you for a while cause I'm
goin to the gay side"
haha.
I'm gonna miss him. Especially
part of him.
Heheheheheheh
Are you sure these few weeks
with Jimmy
aren't just some curious
LGBT field trip?
Well...
Well you know Sam has been
with lots of men
uhuh. Sure have.
Care to give us any names? Uh
mostly actors
from student films and
equity waver plays, those
things are like
mini low-budget orgies! Ahahaha
You know Sam's not one to
orgy and tell, so!
Maybe we should just let that
lie.
Heheheh... ish
Interesting. Jimmy I'm anxious
for you to look at a clip as
well
oh wow! This is like
this is your life
so fun...
Well I started collecting
victorian-era antique
children's bath
toys in... Fascinating, really
but what do you think about
Jimmy Randell
dating his NEW star
Sam Decker!
Uh, this is
Its certainly the first time
hearing about this..what..
What did you say this actors
name was?
Sam Decker
I'll uh... I'll google him
it'd be nice to know what
Jimmy's type
is. Apparently it's not
me. How long have you known
Jimmy? Sixteen
years!
A few have been...
What are
you? Just
forgive me, please! I am in
complete shock
here, alright? And you'd think
he'd have the decency to call
so I don't find out about his
Showmance from some reporter!
I was with Jimmy
through all his years as a
struggling
writer, okay? We would go dutch
to taco night at Hamburger
Mary's!
And if he ever did occasionally
buy me a drink, it was always
the Well Vodka, never the good
stuff
and, and then a little bit of
success
and BAM! I'm run over by the
media bus!
Next question!
Who's Richard!?
Just someone I used to
date... hehe... you know, uh
Richard
likes to be dramatic and...
I was very busy, and
I neglected to, yanno, give him
a call
WOOPS!
My bad...
When were you gonna tell me?
Uh. can we just take a little
potty break?
Just a quick
little... Eh but but!
But! We're
oh!
Our interview's sucking and
you're like
"who's Richard!"
If my boyfriend has a boyfriend
shouldn't I know about it?
He's not my
boyfriend!
You're not my boyfriend!
Richard is just someone who on
rare occasions preforms the
services of a boyfriend. Big
Difference.
He doesn't mean anything to you?
What Is this!? Jeez!
And who's Gina!?
Huh/ Shouldn't I know about
her?!
You tell me you've been playing
the field and all of a sudden I
find out
you've been going steady with
Betty White!?
Don't knock it till you've tried it!
And why wasn't she
surprised by the news!?
I know!
You TOLD her!
Well I had to tell someone!
Well, I didn't! We promised we
wouldn't!
Oh so you're a better person
than me
Hey guys
oh, so I was chillin with Darren
and he was like "I think this is
to make the cover
we're desperate!" This is
totally sick
wow so it's really happening
just pray any gay celebs don't
uh,
get arrested or discover the
cure for cancer or anything
in the next few days
can you guys leave I'm
pee-shy
oh...
Brad, turn on the water and
start singing
oh.
You've gotta be kidding me!
You're not SINGING
Oh-oh Say can
you pee?
If I turn out
the lights
Ball? But my junk will show!
Thats it! We've got it!
Who is my hunny bunny!
I am! Uh, Rico can stand in
oh but I'm very, very shy
we know. Rico are you in here?
Uh! Rico!
He's dead. Fall knocked off his
towel
Anybody seen this guy before?
He's the dead guy
straight guys aint lookin at
his junk
we're lookin at his fa-
none of them have the acting
chops to pull off a lie that big
you're relationship is like
money
in the bank