Frisky Dingo (2006–2008): Season 1, Episode 10 - Flowers for Nearl - full transcript
The Xtacles, under threat of death at the hands of Stan
Previously on Frisky Dingo...
Simon's run away with the knives!
- And my robot pants.
- We should go find him.
You find Xander Crews,
or I'll blow one of your heads off
every hour.
- Oh, my--
- [Gasp]
Yeah. Starting now.
I cannot believe you shot my eyes out.
- Oh, shut up, blondie.
- Nice.
Does anyone know if this bus
goes to all pet shops?
Hello?
- Nobody's gonna believe Nearl...
- I am Nearl.
The local retarded wino guy
is Xander Crews.
Yeah. That's why I have a plan.
What's your names, guys?
Wow!
Is this really Babar's house?
- Yeah, Nearl, yeah.
- 1 am Nearl.
It's Babar's house. Now, come on.
Quit fidgeting. Stop fidgeting, please.
- Where is Babar?
- He--he's taking a shower, buddy.
- Elephants shower with their nose.
- Uh-uh.
- Brrrrrrrr!
- Nearl.
- That's how they do it.
- I'm gonna kill Babar.
What's your names, guys?
[Sighs]
- Hey, can I get in there?
- Uh-oh!
- Just gonna give you a haircut.
- ll don't want a haircut.
Now you want to look good
for Babar, don't you?
- Yes!
- Calm down.
OK. OK. I got the tuxedo shirt.
- Uh...
- I know. Finally.
- What is that?
- Everybody is Ken.
- What is what?
- That.
- Um, it's the shirt.
- Really?
And is it me, or is it 1987?
- A wing collar.
- What?
- Are you doing this?
- What--what's everybody doing?
- No. That's great.
- Maybe you and Nearl--
I am Nearl.
Your [beep] date can borrow
your dad's [beep] time machine...
Please don't do this.
And fly it into the gym down there in
I'm a jack-off high school
and slow dance to Lisa Lisa
and mother [beep] Cult Jam.
[Sighs]
Lisa Lisa, the one I adore!
All right. I think it's “the" Cult Jam.
You are correct, sir.
No. He isn't, nor is that collar!
♪ Duk a dow duk a dow dow ♪
Ken, look!
Can we just fix the collar?
Oh, sure, why not?
I'll just do it tonight
while I'm missing another recital.
[Sighs]
[Playing classical music]
Your kids don't have, uh,
Xtacle helmets, do they?
[Gasps]
[Explosion]
Aah!
Oh, my-- got to call Jan!
Oh, but first check out this haircut!
I am tidy for Babar.
- Holy crap!
- Oh, my God.
Everybody, thank Ken.
So he looks
a little bit like Crews, but...
Lisa Lisa, this is my friend Ken.
We're still dealing with some
pretty profound retardation here.
J Lisa Lisa Ken adores her
Yeah. So who's read
"Flowers For Algernon"?
Ken!
About that kid
with all the chains and the goggles
at he gets killed with a shotgun?
- No. That's--
- Bo Boo Boosh!
- Ba-Ba Boosh!
- That's Harrison Bergeron.
Hollywood Squares!
That's Tom Bergeron.
Brother of Menelaus.
Damn it! That's Agamemnon!
- Boosh!
- OK?
- Boosh.
- Greek.
Exactly, sir. [Sighs]
- OK. Look. See this?
- Yes.
- We're gonna put this inside Nearl.
- I'm Nearl!
- It's a brain chemical.
- Uh, where'd you get brain chemical?
Alex, where's my brain chemical?
[Speaking cod-German]
Ooh.
[Speaking cod-German]
- OK, Nearl.
- Ken!
- You ready to be smart?
- Is this going hurt?
Oh, no, no, no. It's not gonna hurt at all.
You just might feel
just a little bit of pressure.
Aaaaaaaaah!
Aah, aah, aah-aah!
Ahh.
Ahh.
Wow.
Ow.
Hey. How's the--how's, uh,
the brain feel?
Ouch.
- Nearl?
- Mr. Crews will do nicely, thank you.
[Gasp]
Though I'm afraid
ll can't say the same for that wing-ed collar.
My God.
Well, well, well.
Heh heh heh!
If it isn't Xander Crews.
- NEARL: Yes.
- STAN: Excellent.
Or so it would appear.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
Whoa. Sorry.
- So...
- NEARL: Yes.
As it turns out,
I couldn't have you declared legally dead
after only 3 days.
Obviously.
- Shut up.
- Right.
- So what say we do the DNA test?
- XTACLE: Oh, what--what is this?
- DNA test.
- XTACLE: We don't need that.
Have to make sure
this really is Xander Crews
and not some sort of
elaborate switcheroonie.
XTACLE: Oh, you're out of your mind.
- The DNA machine got smashed up.
- Oh, 1 fix.
- Ronnie!
- 1 fix.
- What the [beep], man?
- With my pliers.
No whammies, no whammies...
- What are whammies?
- Huh?
What are whammies?
The unwelcome thief of “press your luck.”
- Yeah.
- How does this--
You don't want to meet that guy.
- OK.
- He'll take all your money.
That's what I was afraid of.
[Gasp]
Hey!
- All rightie!
- How about that?
Guess I won't be needing
this neck bomb detonator anymore.
Hey!
Ha ha ha!
You're crazy, man.
I am also awesomely--
No. I am--
I am also obviously--
[Coughs]
Sorry. Ahem.
What's happening, guys?
STAN: I am also obviously
awesomely effing leaving!
So. Wow.
Uh, where to start.
Summer 1977.
Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
was playing on everybody's 8-track
as a nation slept in fear
of the "Son of Sam" killer...
[Gasp]
And mourned the loss of our favorite son,
legendary rock and roll icon
Elvis Aaron Presley.
Holy crap!
Why are our heads still blowing up?
That's on me, guys. Sat on the remote.
- We should put that in a cabinet...
- Yeah.
And like--
- that your fat ass can't fit in.
- Oh.
Everybody just...OK?
And like Elvis, Xander Crews
had an identical t-win.
- A twin?
- Twin heirs to the vast Crews fortune
left behind by my murdered parents.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. It's cheddar.
But there was trouble at Crews Manor.
One son was born profoundly retarded.
[Jabbering]
I don't want to go
to the monkey hospital! No!
But Nearl want to stay with mommy
and daddy and brover Xandy.
No, Xander. He's dead to us.
Wah!
- Now who's for Denny's?
- Grand slam!
- Oh, my God.
- And they never came to see you?
Not even at Christ-mas.
Mr. Ford, what is Santa bringing for Nearl?
He's gonna bring you an enema
if you don't stop shaking those presents.
Enema. Sound it out, Mr. Ford. Enema.
Aah!
Merry Christmas, Nearl.
Back at you, Mr. Ford.
Oh, my God. That's so freaking sad.
- NEARL: Yes. Here you go.
- I'll take it. Thank you.
But the asylum was a pic-i-nic
compared to life
on the mean streets of...town.
But I want to stay forever
living in the hospital with you, Mr. Ford.
- Hospital closed, Nearl.
- Uh-oh.
- Now I got to go work in a damn pet store.
- I'd like that.
And you can thank Ronald Reagan
ass for that.
Thank you, Ronald Reagan.
Your legacy is intact.
But thanks to you
and your mysterious brain chemical,
we shall savor the sweet nectar of revenge
as we rise up as one man
and destroy my brother Xander Crew--
[Gasp]
Thanks, Ken!
- Ronnie!
- What?
What is wrong with you?
Hey. What? I do you favor.
- That's why we can't have nice things.
- Come on, guys.
Thank you, Ronnie.
Is complicated enough
without all this evil twin bull [beep] having.
You know what? That is--
Actually, that's a pretty good point.
Good for you, Ronnie.
Yeah. That was complicated.
So if Xander Crews really is Awesome X,
then where is he?
[Speaking Chinese]
- So, hey--
- Barnaby, hush.
- We won't get supper again.
- You ever wondered what we're making?
No. I wonder why you won't shut up.
- I think it is telephones.
- Barnaby!
Hey, look--look. Can you feel this?
Say hello into this phone.
- Stop it!
- [Gasp]
That's 3 nights running, Barnaby.
And tonight is Sloppy Joes.
- Thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry.
You can have my bun.
- I'm literally starving to death here.
- Oh. I can hear your tummy.
[Sniffs]
What is that?
What do--I smell a radish.
[Speaking Chinese]
Aw. He wants you to have his radish.
Well, thank you.
Barnaby, tell him thank you.
[Speaking Chinese]
See if you can make it sound
slightly sarcastic.
Mm. Save some for my birthday,
put a candle in it.
Oh. Why don't I just eat a candle?
[Speaking Chinese]
But why is old spice giving me radishes?
He says it's something to...
something the father of i--iron legs.
- The father of who?
- It's either legs or feet.
[Speaks Chinese]
Well, legs then. Excuse me.
Two weeks I've been taking Chinese.
Simon was wearing robot pants.
They're not iron though.
Well, a train's not an iron rooster,
but that's what they call it in China.
- CHINESE MAN: Ha ha ha!
- Really?
Ask him if he knows where Simon is.
[Speaking Chinese]
- What did he say?
- Oh. That's just crazy Chinaman talk, man.
- Barnaby, make those words English.
- IKind of think he said,
"death rabbits.”
[Cheering and booing]
[Speaking Chinese]
[Chanting Chinese]
Simon's run away with the knives!
- And my robot pants.
- We should go find him.
You find Xander Crews,
or I'll blow one of your heads off
every hour.
- Oh, my--
- [Gasp]
Yeah. Starting now.
I cannot believe you shot my eyes out.
- Oh, shut up, blondie.
- Nice.
Does anyone know if this bus
goes to all pet shops?
Hello?
- Nobody's gonna believe Nearl...
- I am Nearl.
The local retarded wino guy
is Xander Crews.
Yeah. That's why I have a plan.
What's your names, guys?
Wow!
Is this really Babar's house?
- Yeah, Nearl, yeah.
- 1 am Nearl.
It's Babar's house. Now, come on.
Quit fidgeting. Stop fidgeting, please.
- Where is Babar?
- He--he's taking a shower, buddy.
- Elephants shower with their nose.
- Uh-uh.
- Brrrrrrrr!
- Nearl.
- That's how they do it.
- I'm gonna kill Babar.
What's your names, guys?
[Sighs]
- Hey, can I get in there?
- Uh-oh!
- Just gonna give you a haircut.
- ll don't want a haircut.
Now you want to look good
for Babar, don't you?
- Yes!
- Calm down.
OK. OK. I got the tuxedo shirt.
- Uh...
- I know. Finally.
- What is that?
- Everybody is Ken.
- What is what?
- That.
- Um, it's the shirt.
- Really?
And is it me, or is it 1987?
- A wing collar.
- What?
- Are you doing this?
- What--what's everybody doing?
- No. That's great.
- Maybe you and Nearl--
I am Nearl.
Your [beep] date can borrow
your dad's [beep] time machine...
Please don't do this.
And fly it into the gym down there in
I'm a jack-off high school
and slow dance to Lisa Lisa
and mother [beep] Cult Jam.
[Sighs]
Lisa Lisa, the one I adore!
All right. I think it's “the" Cult Jam.
You are correct, sir.
No. He isn't, nor is that collar!
♪ Duk a dow duk a dow dow ♪
Ken, look!
Can we just fix the collar?
Oh, sure, why not?
I'll just do it tonight
while I'm missing another recital.
[Sighs]
[Playing classical music]
Your kids don't have, uh,
Xtacle helmets, do they?
[Gasps]
[Explosion]
Aah!
Oh, my-- got to call Jan!
Oh, but first check out this haircut!
I am tidy for Babar.
- Holy crap!
- Oh, my God.
Everybody, thank Ken.
So he looks
a little bit like Crews, but...
Lisa Lisa, this is my friend Ken.
We're still dealing with some
pretty profound retardation here.
J Lisa Lisa Ken adores her
Yeah. So who's read
"Flowers For Algernon"?
Ken!
About that kid
with all the chains and the goggles
at he gets killed with a shotgun?
- No. That's--
- Bo Boo Boosh!
- Ba-Ba Boosh!
- That's Harrison Bergeron.
Hollywood Squares!
That's Tom Bergeron.
Brother of Menelaus.
Damn it! That's Agamemnon!
- Boosh!
- OK?
- Boosh.
- Greek.
Exactly, sir. [Sighs]
- OK. Look. See this?
- Yes.
- We're gonna put this inside Nearl.
- I'm Nearl!
- It's a brain chemical.
- Uh, where'd you get brain chemical?
Alex, where's my brain chemical?
[Speaking cod-German]
Ooh.
[Speaking cod-German]
- OK, Nearl.
- Ken!
- You ready to be smart?
- Is this going hurt?
Oh, no, no, no. It's not gonna hurt at all.
You just might feel
just a little bit of pressure.
Aaaaaaaaah!
Aah, aah, aah-aah!
Ahh.
Ahh.
Wow.
Ow.
Hey. How's the--how's, uh,
the brain feel?
Ouch.
- Nearl?
- Mr. Crews will do nicely, thank you.
[Gasp]
Though I'm afraid
ll can't say the same for that wing-ed collar.
My God.
Well, well, well.
Heh heh heh!
If it isn't Xander Crews.
- NEARL: Yes.
- STAN: Excellent.
Or so it would appear.
Buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh, buh.
Whoa. Sorry.
- So...
- NEARL: Yes.
As it turns out,
I couldn't have you declared legally dead
after only 3 days.
Obviously.
- Shut up.
- Right.
- So what say we do the DNA test?
- XTACLE: Oh, what--what is this?
- DNA test.
- XTACLE: We don't need that.
Have to make sure
this really is Xander Crews
and not some sort of
elaborate switcheroonie.
XTACLE: Oh, you're out of your mind.
- The DNA machine got smashed up.
- Oh, 1 fix.
- Ronnie!
- 1 fix.
- What the [beep], man?
- With my pliers.
No whammies, no whammies...
- What are whammies?
- Huh?
What are whammies?
The unwelcome thief of “press your luck.”
- Yeah.
- How does this--
You don't want to meet that guy.
- OK.
- He'll take all your money.
That's what I was afraid of.
[Gasp]
Hey!
- All rightie!
- How about that?
Guess I won't be needing
this neck bomb detonator anymore.
Hey!
Ha ha ha!
You're crazy, man.
I am also awesomely--
No. I am--
I am also obviously--
[Coughs]
Sorry. Ahem.
What's happening, guys?
STAN: I am also obviously
awesomely effing leaving!
So. Wow.
Uh, where to start.
Summer 1977.
Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody
was playing on everybody's 8-track
as a nation slept in fear
of the "Son of Sam" killer...
[Gasp]
And mourned the loss of our favorite son,
legendary rock and roll icon
Elvis Aaron Presley.
Holy crap!
Why are our heads still blowing up?
That's on me, guys. Sat on the remote.
- We should put that in a cabinet...
- Yeah.
And like--
- that your fat ass can't fit in.
- Oh.
Everybody just...OK?
And like Elvis, Xander Crews
had an identical t-win.
- A twin?
- Twin heirs to the vast Crews fortune
left behind by my murdered parents.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah. It's cheddar.
But there was trouble at Crews Manor.
One son was born profoundly retarded.
[Jabbering]
I don't want to go
to the monkey hospital! No!
But Nearl want to stay with mommy
and daddy and brover Xandy.
No, Xander. He's dead to us.
Wah!
- Now who's for Denny's?
- Grand slam!
- Oh, my God.
- And they never came to see you?
Not even at Christ-mas.
Mr. Ford, what is Santa bringing for Nearl?
He's gonna bring you an enema
if you don't stop shaking those presents.
Enema. Sound it out, Mr. Ford. Enema.
Aah!
Merry Christmas, Nearl.
Back at you, Mr. Ford.
Oh, my God. That's so freaking sad.
- NEARL: Yes. Here you go.
- I'll take it. Thank you.
But the asylum was a pic-i-nic
compared to life
on the mean streets of...town.
But I want to stay forever
living in the hospital with you, Mr. Ford.
- Hospital closed, Nearl.
- Uh-oh.
- Now I got to go work in a damn pet store.
- I'd like that.
And you can thank Ronald Reagan
ass for that.
Thank you, Ronald Reagan.
Your legacy is intact.
But thanks to you
and your mysterious brain chemical,
we shall savor the sweet nectar of revenge
as we rise up as one man
and destroy my brother Xander Crew--
[Gasp]
Thanks, Ken!
- Ronnie!
- What?
What is wrong with you?
Hey. What? I do you favor.
- That's why we can't have nice things.
- Come on, guys.
Thank you, Ronnie.
Is complicated enough
without all this evil twin bull [beep] having.
You know what? That is--
Actually, that's a pretty good point.
Good for you, Ronnie.
Yeah. That was complicated.
So if Xander Crews really is Awesome X,
then where is he?
[Speaking Chinese]
- So, hey--
- Barnaby, hush.
- We won't get supper again.
- You ever wondered what we're making?
No. I wonder why you won't shut up.
- I think it is telephones.
- Barnaby!
Hey, look--look. Can you feel this?
Say hello into this phone.
- Stop it!
- [Gasp]
That's 3 nights running, Barnaby.
And tonight is Sloppy Joes.
- Thanks a lot.
- I'm sorry.
You can have my bun.
- I'm literally starving to death here.
- Oh. I can hear your tummy.
[Sniffs]
What is that?
What do--I smell a radish.
[Speaking Chinese]
Aw. He wants you to have his radish.
Well, thank you.
Barnaby, tell him thank you.
[Speaking Chinese]
See if you can make it sound
slightly sarcastic.
Mm. Save some for my birthday,
put a candle in it.
Oh. Why don't I just eat a candle?
[Speaking Chinese]
But why is old spice giving me radishes?
He says it's something to...
something the father of i--iron legs.
- The father of who?
- It's either legs or feet.
[Speaks Chinese]
Well, legs then. Excuse me.
Two weeks I've been taking Chinese.
Simon was wearing robot pants.
They're not iron though.
Well, a train's not an iron rooster,
but that's what they call it in China.
- CHINESE MAN: Ha ha ha!
- Really?
Ask him if he knows where Simon is.
[Speaking Chinese]
- What did he say?
- Oh. That's just crazy Chinaman talk, man.
- Barnaby, make those words English.
- IKind of think he said,
"death rabbits.”
[Cheering and booing]
[Speaking Chinese]
[Chanting Chinese]