Freakshow (2013–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Freakshow Auditions - full transcript

Come on, baby pick up the pace!

Gotta... you gotta hurry...
we don't wanna be late.

Do I look all right?

Yeah, you look beautiful, baby.
You look beautiful.

Let's get it...
Hey, how ya doin' today?

I'm actually lookin' for
maybe, like, a coffee...

Maybe, like, a mocha, caramel,
a little bit of whip cream.

My mom, she was always
big on that custard.

We'll try that.

We basically gotta find
some real talent today.

It's very important.



When I first thought about
opening "The Freakshow,"

everyone told me the sideshow
is dying away.

But, The Freakshow was not just alive.

It's growing.

It's expanding.

We've taken over the business next door.

- We've busted down the walls.
- [Screaming]

It's bigger... it's better.

But, it costs a whole lot more to run it.

Yeah!

So, I've gotta bring in
more amazing performers.

I've gotta bring in bigger crowds.

Okay... so, let's get ready.

- All right, let's go, let's go.
- All right, let's do it.



So, my family, Danielle,
Asia, and Phoenix,

and my freakshow family,
Ali, Matt, Jessa, Creature,

George, and Morgue,
they're depending on me

to run the last living
freakshow on Earth.

Folks, today, you will witness
the strangest creatures on Earth.

The living wonders of the world, and
the most amazing people on the planet.

They're all inside.

What you thought was a myth,
you will see with your own eyes.

Welcome to "The Freakshow."

Freakshow - S02E01
Freakshow Auditions

- Hey!
- How ya doin'?

Fire is kinda what I'm known for.

Wow!

- Wow!
- Wow!

That's impressive.

- Wow, yeah!
- Wow!

- All right.
- Very nice.

We've been closed for a while,
while we've been expanding.

But finally, this week, we're
having our grand re-opening.

But, we need to sell a lot
of tickets to pay for all this.

So, today, we're havin' open auditions.

I hope I find that special performer,
who can draw in the big crowds.

- Wow!
- Right on!

But, one thing I know...
that ain't gonna be easy.

All right, Larry...
bring in the next one.

- Hey!
- Hey!

I'm a belly dancer.

Oh-ho-ho... uh-oh!

- Uh-oh.
- Gettin' freaky.

[playing harmonica off tune]

Bad, right?

Let's all think, "move."

"Move."

Ah.

I have conversations with myself.

So, what did the lifeguard
say when you were swimming

in the ocean yesterday?

He said, "man, you're too far out."

I'm looking for people that
have something very special,

very unusual, and, of course,
something you won't forget

as long as you're alive.

Venice Beach Freakshow, how we feelin'?

- [cheering loud]
- Oh, that'll work.

This is gonna be a good show.

My name is Dangerous D.,
and I like to get dangerous.

Everything you see me
do today is 100% real.

This is an industrial zip tie.

- Let me hear it!
- [cheering]

- Oh, my goodness!
- Cut it off... cut it off.

- Try that.
- That was great.

Yeah!

I'm not really a fan of
new people, in general.

- Go.
- Oh, my gosh!

- Or people, in general.
- [groaning]

- Venice Beach Freakshow!
- [cheering]

The Freakshow is a very
high level of performance art.

So, if you wanna work here,
you... people are gonna have

- to kick it up a notch.
- Yeah.

Thanks for watchin',
man... appreciate that.

Good work!

Oh, my God... hey!

Hey, what's your name?

My name's Gabriel Pimentel.

I heard you guys
are hiring... what's up?

- How tall are you?
- Two-ten.

Wow!

Ali, I think he might
be smaller than you.

Yeah, I think he's got me
beat by, like, six inches.

- Does he?
- I'm three-five.

Uh-uh.

Not only is he smaller than me,

but he actually has talent,
on top of that.

- [cheering]
- [laughing]

- Yeah!
- Yeah!

All right... cool.
Well, thank you, Gabriel.

It's actually a real
pleasure to meet you.

- Me too.
- Thank you.

I'm definitely questioning...
where does this leave me

- at The Freakshow?
- Good job!

- Hello.
- Hi!

I'm Genevieve.

Genevieve, nice to meet you.

I'm not too fan of Genevieve.

She didn't really have anything
to her besides vibrating her stuff.

She just seemed to rely on
sexual appeal rather than...

Doing something.

As soon as Genevieve,
the snake lady walked in,

I knew we were onto somethin'.
Now, that's what'll draw in a crowd.

Now, the snake lady has always been
an important part to the sideshow.

She mesmerizes the audience.

She hypnotizes them
to come into the show.

It's almost as though
Eve has finally overpowered

the serpent from the Garden of Eden.

- Yeah!
- Whoo!

Wow!

That's a tradition... The snake lady.
That's guaranteed to draw a crowd.

I don't really want
that in the show with me.

I don't really wanna share the stage
with somebody that's, like, sexual.

Just being sexy and that's all you are,
that's the part that really frustrates me.

- It is a traditional thing.
- Yeah, I just think the opposite.

It's very... It can also be seen
as mystical, not just sexy, okay?

Yeah, but she didn't...

See, you gotta remember about snake ladies.
If they stand outside, they are hypnotic.

I agree with that, and it's traditional,
and it will draw in a crowd.

I just don't really see it
being a part of the show.

There's no place for her on my stage.

Dangerous D. was great...
I love this guy.

- Yeah, he's... he...
- Oh, he was great.

Okay, I'm going to hang out with Morgue.

- You sure?
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- All right... I love you.

Look at me... Be safe and just
let us know when you get there.

- All right. I love you.
- Love you. Bye.

You're putting your tongue all over it.

- Really sticking out my tongue?
- Yeah, look... it's gonna go like this.

See how the mousetrap is more like this?

- Okay... so, it's on an angle.
- If it were level,

there's more of a chance
of it hittin' your teeth.

Okay... so, like this?

The opposite way, like-like a...

Oh, I'm getting lipstick
on your mousetrap.

Uh-oh.

They need to make special
mousetraps for me.

- Okay, so...
- All right.

Ready and recording.

Ow!

- Ow, that really hurt.
- Yeah, it kinda hurts.

That's what a mouse
feels like when it dies.

- That's really sad.
- Okay, good job.

- You'll be fine.
- Wait.

It should be fine. You looked
like you did it right.

- I feel like I have a line.
- I see... I... yeah,

I see a line on your tongue.

What... Did your dad see
anyone that he liked today?

- Oh, the auditions?
- Yeah.

I haven't really heard
anything about it. Why?

'Cause I've been workin' on a
new stunt for the grand opening.

- You have?
- Yes.

I'm looking to do something
a little more dangerous.

- I think you should, but be careful.
- Yeah, I'll be careful.

Hey, how's it goin'?

I really wanna make our grand re-opening
something that people will never forget.

So, I decided to bring
in a special guest.

- Todd?
- Hey, yes.

Wow... so nice to meet you, man.

I searched all over
the world and, in the U.K.,

I found the man.
His name is Garry Stretch.

He has a condition called,
"ehlers-danlos syndrome."

He's got the stretchiest skin on Earth.

The man's got the world record,
and when you see what he's gonna do,

you're gonna talk about
it for the rest of your life.

- It's-it's weird.
- Just take hold and give it a pull.

- Wow!
- And it doesn't hurt?

- Not at all.
- Ah!

Completely natural.

It is so good to see you, Garry.
I have read about you for so long.

You know, having Garry Stretch here is
almost symbolic of what we're doing.

We're stretching the boundaries...

Making the Freakshow
better than it's ever been.

Every time we do somethin',
we try to take it next level,

and this is gonna be extra.

- We're gonna stretch it.
- Excellent.

Let's go... I'm ready
to turn it up, man.

I'm ready to get it on...
I'm ready to turn it up.

You ready to play, bro?
Let's do this, real quick, baby.

Let's get this, real quick...
tryin' to get my drink on.

Okay, then... let me get, uh...
Hey, garry.

- What kinda beer you want?
- Whatever they do.

Oh, no... Don't spill my drink!

That was gangster, right there.

Now, ladies, this is the man
I-I wanted you to meet.

He's a friend of ours,
all the way from the U.K.

His name is Garry Stretch...
He has this amazing talent.

I'm gonna leave you speechless.

Oh, my gosh!

Yeah, we're freakin' out over here.

Did you see, uh, Dangerous D.
yesterday at the auditions?

Um, his stunts were kinda
more sort of like jackassy,

you know, just kinda
like hurtin' himself.

He had a really intense,
you know, like, stage personality.

Oh, okay, that's good,
that's good, that's good.

He was really into it.

What do you think of that...
that lady with the really big snake?

I think, on the outside, that
would work to bring people in,

but I didn't necessarily
wanna perform with her,

because, I don't know,
just different style.

Gabriel, um, I don't know
if you remember him,

- the little person.
- Oh, yeah.

He seemed like a really nice guy.

He had a lot of energy,
a lot of personality.

Yeah, but it's got me a little concerned

because I'm the littlest
person here at The Freakshow,

and it's kinda like, if
Gabriel gets hired, then...

You know, everyone's gonna
want pictures with him

because he's the smallest person.

And it's kinda like, well,
where does that leave me?

A circus, or a carnival,
or a sideshow has always been

where I feel longing or yearning.

A beautiful woman,
with a deadly serpent...

there's nothing better to draw a crowd.

I feel like that's my incarnation.

I-I've been there a million
times in my lives.

Wait, you're sayin' "your lives."
You think you've had more than one life?

Oh, my God... is she kidding me?

I've had, like, a million...
at least 140 in-in-incarnations.

I was in Atlantis... I was in the Maria.

I was a he...
Crystal Healer... I-I had...

I was in many, many
sideshows in the past.

I was a rept...
part of the reptilian race.

Do you know the reptilian race?
There are some very dark, negative ones.

Like the reptilians that are...

They're in the...
they're in the government.

Exactly... manipulating things.

There are some very dark... yeah.

They're-they're sacrificing
babies, eating their blood,

and they are... they are.

I don't know if Asia is
gonna feel comfortable or not

with the snake lady... All I know is,
we have to make the show bigger.

So, I've been working on a new act...

- Yeah.
- On something a little more dangerous.

I had a scythe made.

Wow, nice!

So, tomorrow, I'm gonna
attempt to swallow this.

Holy shit, Morgue.

It's probably the most
dangerous stunt I do,

as in risking my life,
because it actually pushes up

against my heart.

I don't think it's been done.

I've never seen anybody
swallow a scythe.

- I wanna do it.
- That would be huge.

- Surprise!
- Hey, everybody!

Hey!

Surprise, surprise!

Well, everybody, this is Genevieve.
Everybody say "hello."

- Hello.
- Hi.

She's gonna be our new snake lady.

[indistinct cheers]

- _
- _

I just personally wouldn't have chosen
her as a performer to work with us.

I don't think that
it's really gonna work out,

and I don't think her performance
really matches our show.

I've brought in Genevieve as
the newest member to our family.

- Oh, welcome.
- Cool... right now.

Uh, so, uh, everyone say "hello."

This is my son, Phoenix...
he's the co-owner.

- This is my daughter, Asia.
- Hi, daughter Asia.

I don't think Asia was too happy
about Genevieve being hired.

- And this is Morgue.
- Hi, Morgue. Good morning.

I don't think she particularly cares

for the way that Genevieve
presents herself and performs.

So, everybody, she's gonna be here.
This is her first day.

She's gonna help us draw
people in from the front.

- Yeah!
- Girls, she is your sister.

Boys, watch it. Yeah,
you do have to remember that.

_

We just had to pick.

_

Okay... well, we had to pick somebody.

We had to... I needed
a snake lady for the...

_

Wow!

Wait, don't float away.

All right, folks... are ya'll ready

to see the world-famous,
Venice Beach Freakshow?

Make some noise!

[audience cheering]

We have finally expanded The Freakshow
bigger than it's ever been before.

This is our grand re-opening!
Come on. Make some noise!

[cheering]

Folks, The Freakshow is alive.
Come on up. It's time to go inside!

This is a pig with
one head on two bodies.

Now, folks, if ya'll would,
ya'll come gather around here.

I wanna show you.

She's got one head,
but she's got two bodies.

- Oh, my god!
- Oh, my god!

All right, folks. Everybody,
it is showtime, right now.

Give a big round of applause for
Genevieve, the Serpentine Sorceress.

[cheers and applause]

Yeah!

This man is one of the most famous
sword swallowers in the world.

Today, he's gonna attempt
to swallow the scythe.

As he goes to swallow it,
he must curve his body

to accommodate it...
it will bump his heart.

It's gonna move other
organs inside himself,

and you're gonna see him twist.

This man is about to risk
his life in front of your eyes.

This is probably the most
dangerous stunt you will ever see.

[cheers and applause]

- _
- Yeah!

Okay, folks. Our next guest,
he's all the way from the U.K.

I've read about him in "The Guinness
Book of World Records,"

All the "Ripley's Believe
It Or Not" books.

He's known as the man with
the stretchiest skin on Earth.

Give it up for Garry Stretch!

[cheers and applause]

[laughing]

Yeah!

[cheers and applause]

[cheers]

We're makin' history
here at Venice Beach.

The Freakshow is alive...
It's a new era, for real.

[cheers and applause]

It's not just my dream now...
It's everyone's dream.

Even when things get hard,
I will keep striving,

not just for me,

but for the whole freakshow family.

Do you think we did a good job
on expanding The Freakshow?

[cheers and applause]