Freaks and Geeks (1999–2000): Season 1, Episode 6 - I'm with the Band - full transcript
Lindsay encourages Nick to pursue a career in music. Nick continues to practice with his current band, but quickly decides he's better than them. Lindsay encourages Nick to audition for a ...
Freaks and Geeks S01E06 I'm with the Band (VO)
You look a little bit
like my grandpa.
Oh, is your grandpa super cool?
All right. Simmer down, petunias.
We've got a busy week ahead of us.
It's time to start training for
the president's physical fitness test.
Jimmy carter's a wimp.
Can it, White.
We're gonna start on upper-body
strength with a little rope-climbing.
Yeah. That's gonna help us
get into a good college.
Oh, one more thing.
New district policy.
Everybody must take a shower
after class,
starting today.
And I'll check for wet hair,
so don't think you can pull a fast one.
Is Weir allowed to shower with us?
'cause he's a woman.
Come on, ladies, let's move!
Get up there.
Kiss the beam, you're on my team.
What do I look like,
a freakin' Tarzan?
Come on, Bill.
They cannot make us take a shower.
This is school.
They can make us do anything.
Don't you think it's kinda weird
that they want us to,
you know... get naked?
It's not a burlesque show, Sam.
They just want us to shower.
What are you guys talking about?
Stop lookin' up my shorts.
Why would we?
There's nothing to see.
Just keep climbing, Wonder Woman.
There is something to see.
Well, I'm not gonna do it.
Why, because you don't
have any pit hair?
I have pit hair.
Besides, I think it's kinda weird
that you wanna get naked
in front of everybody.
Hey, Schweiber.
You gonna show us your circumcision
in the showers today?
Yeah. Take a number.
Well, I guess it is kinda weird.
Then that's settled.
We're not doing it.
I can't go up any farther, guys.
How do I get back down?
Hi, everybody. If you're just
a boy or girl who can't say no...
Then you won't be able to say no
to tickets to the McKinley
drama club's presentation of...
What? What?
Oklahoma!
- Oh, no!
- No way.
So come on down, and pardner,
leave the ducks and geese at home.
Oh, what a beautiful
evening you'll have.
OK. Tickets are $2.00
at the box office.
Don't miss it.
It's a great show.
Wow. You'd look good in that dress.
- You guys wanna rehearse today?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, sure.
Is this your guys' rock band?
Yeah. We gotta audition for
a battle of the bands coming up.
The winner gets 300 bucks.
I bet you guys are really good.
I don't think so.
- Do you guys have a name?
- Yeah.
Creation.
No, we don't have a name.
Come on.
I like that name.
All right. 3:00.
No. I gotta do something
with Kim at 3:00.
How about 3:01?
How about 3:15?
I gotta fit in your mother.
You wanna sleep with my mom?
You know, to be honest,
I don't smell so good.
I could probably use a shower.
No! We have to stick together.
Hey, if we don't shower,
then we are gonna stick together.
You get it?
Weir!
Are you ladies having a nice time
at the beauty parlor?
You see, uh...
Mr. Fredricks, the thing is that...
I told you guys,
everybody has to shower.
Well... we didn't even sweat.
Smell us.
You know, Weir,
I'll put that on my "to do" list.
Fellas, hit the shower.
See, we're gonna be late for class,
and I have an algebra test
that I cannot make up.
And I can't be late for class.
Just go to class.
All right. Tomorrow,
you will get in the shower.
And if you don't do it,
I'm gonna know about it.
That guy's really into
making guys shower.
Tell me about it.
That was amazing.
You look so hot when you play.
I wish I could smash this thing.
Do it! Do it!
What'd you think?
That was pretty amazing, huh?
That was really wild.
Hey. Hey, hey, listen, uh,
Lindsay came up with some
great names for the band.
Tell them, Lindsay.
Oh, yeah? I hope
it's something catchy,
like, uh, the math-letes.
All right.
Let's hear 'em.
Well, I thought the band
needed a name
that not only said who you were,
but what you want to
represent to the audience.
- So...
- Say it.
Go tell 'em.
OK. Here's one.
Mission control.
- No way.
- Why not?
'cause it sounds like
some space thing.
So? What's wrong with that?
Space blows.
Tell 'em the next one
that you thought up.
You guys are gonna love
this one. Tell 'em.
Anarchy's child.
No way! Boo!
What does that even mean?
I don't see you guys coming up
with any names for the band.
Hello, ladies, gentlemen.
Hello, Mr. Andopolis.
I take it the symphony's over.
I'm sorry, Dad.
We just finished.
It sounded a lot better,
though, right?
Nick, can I talk to you
for a moment?
Yes, sir.
I'll be upstairs.
Ladies, gentlemen...
Let's get outta here.
- I'll just be a minute, you know.
- Yeah, but he won't.
I'm hungry.
Can we get something to eat?
Yeah. Let's go.
- You working the drive-through?
- Yeah, in an hour.
All right! Let's go there,
get a bunch of free crap.
You've got to at least buy a pop,
or I'm gonnahe get caught.
Can't you just wait for me?
Just meet us there.
This is Mission control
requesting permission to rock out.
Hey, I'll wait for you.
Hey, Dad, I know I'm not
supposed to play past 5:00.
I'm really sorry.
If you're sorry,
you wouldn't keep doing this.
I guess I just forgot
to look at the clock.
Nick, you're killing me here.
Jeez, I keep trying to be a good guy,
- you're pushing me.
- I'm not pushing you, Dad.
You're pushing me, Nick.
I want your drums
out of the basement.
Dad, you already made me move
the drums out of the garage.
Where am I supposed to put them if
I can't keep them in the basement?
Instead of practicing
with your friends,
why don't you try practicing
at keeping your grades up?
'cause your 18th birthday's
coming up fast.
You've got to maintain a C+ average.
You know our deal.
Dad, I really... I don't
wanna join the army, OK?
I'm not cut out for the army.
C+. It's not too much
to ask for, Nick.
I'm studying as hard as I can.
Maybe I'm not smart enough,
but I'm doing the best that I can.
You're not working
hard enough, Nick.
Yes, sir.
Dad?
I really think that I can
make it as a drummer.
I really thought
that I could walk on the moon,
but you just don't see any
moon rocks around here, do ya?
Thanks for the talk, dad.
You mom cans her own vegetables?
Are you OK?
Look, why don't you go, um...
Why don't you go meet up
with those other guys?
Yeah, OK.
Look, Nick, I couldn't help
overhearing.
And I know maybe
it's none of my business,
but you're the one who told me that
your drums are your reason for living,
and I don't think you should
let anyone talk you out of that.
You just need to stick with it
and prove everybody wrong.
- Is that really what you think?
- Absolutely.
You can do whatever you want
if you believe in yourself.
No one's ever said that
to me before.
Well, it's true.
Thank you.
Lindsay...
You're like the only person
who's ever gotten what I'm about.
Yeah, well, we're not
that different...
Except you're gonna be
a famous drummer.
Do you wanna come with me
to meet up with those guys?
All right. Let's go.
I should probably change
out of these shorts first.
I think they look good.
It's just a lot easier for me to
drum without fabric on my thighs.
This earth ball doesn't
look like the earth.
Watch out!
That's it.
I'm gonna die in gym class.
OK, everybody hit the shower.
Come on, that's it.
Good job.
Good job today.
Come on, this is ridiculous.
My hands are filthy.
Yeah, and I can't say no to a long,
luxurious shower.
No! You can't!
You're on your own.
I'm farshtinkiner, and I'm showering.
Oh, come on.
Just one more day.
Would you quit being such a baby?
Just close your eyes,
and it'll be over before you know it.
I'm with him.
Oh, thanks!
You know?
Friends.
Hey, Sam.
Are you taking French next year?
I don't know.
I'm thinking of taking German,
since I'm 1/4 German.
C-could you put on a towel?
Why?
Well...
'cause you're naked?
Sam, our bodies are merely a shell
which conceal our heavenly souls.
Try not to get too uptight.
Auf wiedersehen.
When did you get chest hair?
What? I have chest ha...
Oh! Would you look at that?
It'll slow you down in the pool.
So, you guys are gonna do it.
I mean...
You're gonna take a shower.
It's just water. What could happen?
Well, you could stop smelling
like my butt, for one.
Oh, shoot! I was gonna bring some
cologne. I completely forgot.
Nail the geeks!
I hope I can still have kids.
Come on. You got hit in the groin.
You didn't have a hysterectomy.
Weir, what are you doing?
Look at that head of hair, huh?
You just get that cut?
That is very stylish
and very, very dry.
Come on. I'm not
going through this again.
Off with the clothes
and into the shower.
What?
I mean...
I don't feel too well.
You don't feel well.
You think I'm new?
Don't pull the fake
sick crap on me. Come on.
I am sick.
I'm dizzy...
and I have a headache,
and I'm nauseous.
All right, OK. Just go
to the nurse's office.
Pick up the Academy Award
on the way there, Weir.
Schweiber, put on some clothes.
You look like a 50-year-old man.
Hey, I thought you guys
were practicing today.
Yeah. I don't know if those guys
are coming or not.
They went down to the junkyard
to get a carburetor
for Kim's Gremlin.
Yeah, it might take a while.
What?
No. I just...
I think you guys
need to rehearse more.
I thought that you said
that we were good.
Yeah, but you guys aren't good
enough to win any competitions.
Thanks a lot, you know?
Thanks a lot, Lindsay.
No. I...
Well, I mean, it's true, Nick.
If you wanna prove
your dad wrong, then...
the band has to be really great,
or else he's gonna
send you to the army.
I know.
You just need to work harder.
You think so?
Yeah. When I was in the mathletes,
we did logarithms until
we couldn't see straight.
You know, but it paid off.
We were state champions,
and we went to nationals
2 years in a row.
I don't know.
Daniel isn't really into practicing.
Well, who's the leader of this band?
You or Daniel?
- Thank you!
- I like it fast.
Listen, guys...
Listen, uh...
That wasn't very good.
Let's try it again.
What?
Let's try
Sunshine of your Love again.
We just played it, man.
Why would we do it again?
'cause it wasn't...
It wasn't right, man.
It was really sloppy, and it didn't
really sound anything like the record.
I don't care what
the record sounds like, OK?
We play it the way we play it.
Are you still buyin' pot
from the same guy?
You mean me?
Look, guys... I just wanna
play the song right, you know?
Look, any way we play
is the right way.
Not if we want to get into
Battle of the Bands.
I could give a crap about
Battle of the Bands!
Who cares?
You were right, Lindsay.
Right about what?
Please. Do tell.
I'll tell you.
That you guys don't care, you know?
Look, maybe you guys
are just screwin' around,
but I want us to be good, you know?
I'm tired of sucking
at everything in my life,
and I wanna nail
that audition, all right?
But we're not gonna
nail that audition
unless we play the songs
over and over and over again
until they're perfect.
All right, Daniel? So can we just
play the song right once?
Please?
All right?
- Let's play the stupid song.
- Thank you.
Did you hear any sticks, man?
Wait for my sticks, all right?
Gee, this is really fun, guys.
I'm glad we have a band.
- Well, that sucked.
- Royally.
No, hey.
Hey, it sounded better.
- Yeah, it really did sound better.
- Oh, did it, Lindsay?
Do you approve?
- Come on, Daniel.
- I'm outta here.
You're a piece of work, Lindsay.
- Daniel, where you going?
- Anywhere!
- We need to rehearse more!
- No, you need to rehearse more!
We need to get the hell out of here!
I hate this song now. We played it
6 times. I never wanna hear it again.
It sounded better.
Who cares, man?
We're in a paneled basement,
not the Silverdome.
You know, you and Yoko here
have turned music into school.
What are you gonna do,
start handing out band homework?
I just wanna play
the song right, Daniel!
- Then go join the marching band, geek.
- You know what? Shut up!
At least the marching band can play
something right twice in a row!
You are a dumb-ass, Andopolis!
Rock'n roll don't come from your brain.
It comes from your crotch.
And if you ever got any,
Mr. Cute shorts,
you'd know that.
Let's get out of here.
I quit.
- Fine!
- I guess that means I quit.
Fine! Quit!
You're not even good enough
to be in Creation!
Thanks a lot, Lindsay.
I don't get it.
What do they have that we don't?
Good bodies.
So he can throw her
over his shoulder.
Big deal.
He should use his legs more.
He's gonna throw out his back.
I don't know.
I mean, my mom says that women prefer
guys with a good sense of humor.
But you're not very funny.
Screw you! I'm hilarious.
Ooh, how witty.
Get this guy on Hollywood squares.
I overheard that Todd Shellinger
takes off his shirt
when he makes out.
Why would he do that?
Why would anybody do that?
Probably to show off his chest hair.
I know that's what I'm gonna do.
Go ahead, laugh,
but all cool guys have hairy chests:
Selleck, Reynolds, Rockford.
Hey, what about Mork?
He's got more hair on his hand
than Sam has in his pits.
Shut up!
Will girls ever like us?
I think our best
play is to go for...
the smart, sexy librarian type.
You know, she's sweet and shy,
but then she takes off
her glasses and rrrowf!
Like Bailey on WKRP in Cincinnati.
But Cindy Sanders
is like a librarian type.
Yeah. Librarian for
the Playboy mansion.
This push-up's too hard to push up.
Oh, man!
Gross!
Oh, you're sick.
Oh, my god.
It's cold.
So, where is everybody?
No idea.
Well, that's kinda weird, isn't it?
That no one is around...
Not that you don't have
any idea where anyone is.
I'm gonna go.
Hey, Lindsay.
Thanks for breaking up the band.
- What?
- "What?"
I didn't break up the band.
I just thought you guys
should learn one song.
So, you admit it.
Yes, I admit it. I...
God! How could I be
so awful to suggest
that you actually play an entire song
correctly all the way through?
God knows Zeppelin only plays
half of Stairway to Heaven,
and the Who never even
practices Teenage Wasteland.
Baba O'Reilly.
What?
The name of the song
is Baba O'Reilly.
It's on Who's Next?
I didn't break up the band.
I just wanted to help Nick.
- Nick doesn't need any help.
- How can you say that?
If he doesn't make it as a drummer,
he has to go into the army.
What?
He's not gonna make it as a drummer.
So why don't you just let him have
some fun before he has to ship off?
Yeah? Well, you sound
just like his dad.
Maybe his dad is right.
I can't believe you're saying that.
Lindsay, he's not gonna be
the next Keith Moon.
If he's got someplace to go
to take care of him,
why don't you just stay
out of his way?
Daniel, that is not
how it has to be.
Schweiber.
- Here.
- Trinsky.
Ich bin hier.
Weir.
Anybody seen Weir?
Yeah, man, and this kid,
he was, like,
"Red-rum! Red-rum!"
Forget it, man,
red-rum's murder backwards.
Come on.
This ain't tea with the queen.
You leave now, you're still 10 minutes
late to class. Come on, let's go.
- Red-rum...
- Aw, get out of here, you nut!
Who's there?
Who's in there?
You know, it's a little easier
if you sit down and drop your pants.
So, uh, how come you
weren't in English today?
I bailed.
The whole band breaking up thing
has gotten me really down.
You know?
Yeah, well, it shouldn't.
And it wasn't a real band.
Those guys were just screwing around.
You're the only one trying
to be a professional.
I still don't have a band, you know?
Well, maybe you could join this one.
What are you talking about?
Dimension's looking
for a new drummer?!
It was up at the record store.
These guys are like the top
working band in Detroit!
I saw them open for Jethro Tull
at Cobo Hall last year.
Tull could barely follow them.
Oh, man!
You could be getting paid
to drum, like a real job.
Hell, yeah!
Man, I gotta go call these guys
and set up an audition.
And then I gotta go practice.
It's not... it's not 5:00 yet, is it?
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I don't want to get naked
in front of other guys.
Well, who does?
You know how many men have
seen me naked in my lifetime?
A lot.
Do you think I'm
comfortable with it?
No, but I live with it.
I just don't want them to tease me.
Who would tease you?
All right, look, here's what you do.
You tell the you're proud
of your body. That'll show 'em.
You have a beautiful body.
Doesn't he, Harold?
Yes. I just said
he had a beautiful body.
Those other boys are
probably just jealous.
Lindsay, tell your brother
what a beautiful body he has.
- Mom!
- Mom!
- Lindsay.
- What?
Your mother asked you to tell
your brother he has a beautiful body.
That is so stupid.
Lindsay, tell him.
It's not gonna help him.
Just say the words.
It'll make him feel better.
You have a beautiful body.
You're an adonis, a slab of beef...
If I wasn't your sister,
oh, my god...
Lindsay! Can it.
See, sweetheart?
That was great, Paul.
We'll be in touch.
I never played on a drum kit
this small before.
I'm sure I'll be fine.
You Nick?
- Hey, I'm Scott.
- Hello, Scott.
- That's Alex, and that's Vance.
- Hey, Alex. Hello, Vance.
- How's it goin', man?
- Great.
I hope this kit's OK with you.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's fine.
The one I normally play on
is a lot bigger.
- Really? How many pieces?
- 29.
29-piece kit.
What are you doing here?
You should be auditioning us.
Yeah, right. Right?
I saw you guys open for Jethro Tull
at Cobo Hall last year.
You guys blew them away.
You must've been there Friday, 'cause
Saturday we got booed off the stage.
We didn't get booed off the stage.
So what do you say?
You wanna jam or what?
- Cool.
- Let's rock it, man.
You call the tune.
How about a little Cream?
Yeah, let's do Crossroads.
What do you...
what about Sunshine of your Love?
I hate that song.
Let's do Crossroads.
We do it live.
- No problem.
- All right. Count it off, my man.
That was good, but let's
try it a little bit tighter.
Tighter?
- All right. Let's do it.
- Count it off.
Hold it. Hold it.
Hold on. Let's try it
just a little bit quicker pace.
Oh, quicker pace.
Sorry'bout that.
Ready?
- All right, here we go.
- Count it off.
Good. All right.
Great job, man.
Cool. Thanks a lot.
What do you mean?
That's it? What, that's it?
Thanks a lot.
Hey, good luck with
that 29-piecer, man.
Maybe someday,
you'll knock it up to an even 30.
Thanks.
So, what are you gonna do now?
Join the army, I guess.
No. I mean... Right now.
Do you want to go to
the record store or anything?
- I suck, Lindsay.
- No, you don't.
You were in there with me, right?
You... you heard me playing?
I was a joke.
You know, Nick,
those guys are 5 years older than you.
And in 5 years, you're gonna be
way better than they are.
No, I'm not.
Sometimes I go down in my basement,
and I put on a live album,
I can... see myself on the stage.
Do you understand what I mean?
I can see it.
And I'm playing a 10-minute solo,
and I'm on one of those
hydraulic risers, you know,
that make the drum kit
go way up high.
I'm Peter Chris or something.
Oh, man...
I'm not gonna be that guy.
I'm never gonna be that guy.
I'll be lucky if I get to be
the guy who pushes the button
that makes the riser go up,
but I'm not even gonna be that guy.
I'm not even gonna be that guy 'cause
I can't even keep a C+ average, man.
Well, Nick, I could... I can
help you get your grades up.
He's gonna make me join the army.
Oh, man, I'm gonna have
to join the army.
I'm gonna be surrounded
by a group of psychopaths
like my brothers and like my dad.
Nick, come on.
That's not gonna happen to you.
I won't let it.
Oh, my god.
I'm done, man.
I'm done.
What is wrong with them?
Why do they think that hitting
people with towels is so funny?
If it wasn't us...
It would be kinda funny.
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Hey, have you lost weight?
Shut up!
Get out of my way.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Look who finally decided
to take a shower.
Nice pecs, Weir.
You look like a flat-chested girl.
Flat-chested girl.
Well, I'm proud of my body.
Oh, he's proud of his body.
He should be proud.
Look at this.
Maybe you should show it to
everybody then.
What are you doing?!
Come on, guys.
Guys, don't...
I wouldn't want you to miss class.
Come on!
Let me in!
Mr. Fredricks!
So, how long have you been teaching?
- 2 months.
- 2 months? Do you like it?
- I love it.
- I love it, too.
Oh, I'm sorry, Rear.
I forgot to take that!
Got some shorts in my locker.
What...
Sam, Alan's gone.
All clear, you can come back now.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah. Sure.
- Streaker!
- Go, Sam! Go!
- Where you from?
- I'm from right here.
- I actually live down the street.
- You're from right here?
Yeah, right.
You know...
Well, what the hell
are you looking at?
The shower's that way.
I just wanted you to know I can't
stop thinking about that kiss.
Oh, good.
It really meant a lot to me.
I'm glad.
Let's go out to the patio.
Patio? I thought you were
fighting with those guys.
Yeah, we were, but not anymore.
We fight like that all the time.
It doesn't mean anything.
They heard what happened
at the audition.
They came over last night,
we're cool.
You guys, I'm serious.
I think my mom, like, wants to come
see the band play or something.
- When she gets out of rehab?
- Shut up.
Ringo starr.
You finally got your wish, Nick.
You're as good a drummer
as John Bonham.
Of course, he's dead.
You should've seen the looks
on those guys' faces, man.
I think I ruined their love
of music forever.
Is Dimension gonna charge you for
the pee stain you left on the drum seat?
Shut up.
Look, Dimension sucks, man.
You're too good for them.
I saw them open for Tull,
they got booed off the stage.
Thanks a lot, man.
Lindsay, we have to talk.
You are such a slut.
No. It's cool.
We just gotta be out by 5:00.
Let's play some real songs for once.
I wrote out some Iggy Pop
and Ramones songs.
The Ramones? The Ramones
only play, like, 3 chords, man.
- So I'll learn another one.
- I gotta pee.
I heard you jumped him.
What?
You don't have to act innocent,
Lindsay, I know you're a slut.
I'm pretty sure
Cindy didn't see you.
And if she did, it was just
with her peripheral vision.
You know, it wouldn't be bad
if people saw my back.
But my front's a whole
other story, you know?
Maybe I could transfer
to another school.
Well, well, well.
That was fun
in gym class today, huh?
Leave me alone.
They're bringing in the psychiatrist
for the kids who had to see you naked.
Shut up, Alan.
There he is!
Hey, Sam, I heard you streaked!
Way to go!
Hey, shut up!
All right, Sam.
You guys are losers,
and you always will be.
How come you're the one
riding home with no friends?
You're like a god.
People are gonna worship you.
I play so much better
when you're around.
I want to play it again.
Put more dry ice in the bucket.
Sure.
Thanks.
You look a little bit
like my grandpa.
Oh, is your grandpa super cool?
All right. Simmer down, petunias.
We've got a busy week ahead of us.
It's time to start training for
the president's physical fitness test.
Jimmy carter's a wimp.
Can it, White.
We're gonna start on upper-body
strength with a little rope-climbing.
Yeah. That's gonna help us
get into a good college.
Oh, one more thing.
New district policy.
Everybody must take a shower
after class,
starting today.
And I'll check for wet hair,
so don't think you can pull a fast one.
Is Weir allowed to shower with us?
'cause he's a woman.
Come on, ladies, let's move!
Get up there.
Kiss the beam, you're on my team.
What do I look like,
a freakin' Tarzan?
Come on, Bill.
They cannot make us take a shower.
This is school.
They can make us do anything.
Don't you think it's kinda weird
that they want us to,
you know... get naked?
It's not a burlesque show, Sam.
They just want us to shower.
What are you guys talking about?
Stop lookin' up my shorts.
Why would we?
There's nothing to see.
Just keep climbing, Wonder Woman.
There is something to see.
Well, I'm not gonna do it.
Why, because you don't
have any pit hair?
I have pit hair.
Besides, I think it's kinda weird
that you wanna get naked
in front of everybody.
Hey, Schweiber.
You gonna show us your circumcision
in the showers today?
Yeah. Take a number.
Well, I guess it is kinda weird.
Then that's settled.
We're not doing it.
I can't go up any farther, guys.
How do I get back down?
Hi, everybody. If you're just
a boy or girl who can't say no...
Then you won't be able to say no
to tickets to the McKinley
drama club's presentation of...
What? What?
Oklahoma!
- Oh, no!
- No way.
So come on down, and pardner,
leave the ducks and geese at home.
Oh, what a beautiful
evening you'll have.
OK. Tickets are $2.00
at the box office.
Don't miss it.
It's a great show.
Wow. You'd look good in that dress.
- You guys wanna rehearse today?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah?
- Yeah, sure.
Is this your guys' rock band?
Yeah. We gotta audition for
a battle of the bands coming up.
The winner gets 300 bucks.
I bet you guys are really good.
I don't think so.
- Do you guys have a name?
- Yeah.
Creation.
No, we don't have a name.
Come on.
I like that name.
All right. 3:00.
No. I gotta do something
with Kim at 3:00.
How about 3:01?
How about 3:15?
I gotta fit in your mother.
You wanna sleep with my mom?
You know, to be honest,
I don't smell so good.
I could probably use a shower.
No! We have to stick together.
Hey, if we don't shower,
then we are gonna stick together.
You get it?
Weir!
Are you ladies having a nice time
at the beauty parlor?
You see, uh...
Mr. Fredricks, the thing is that...
I told you guys,
everybody has to shower.
Well... we didn't even sweat.
Smell us.
You know, Weir,
I'll put that on my "to do" list.
Fellas, hit the shower.
See, we're gonna be late for class,
and I have an algebra test
that I cannot make up.
And I can't be late for class.
Just go to class.
All right. Tomorrow,
you will get in the shower.
And if you don't do it,
I'm gonna know about it.
That guy's really into
making guys shower.
Tell me about it.
That was amazing.
You look so hot when you play.
I wish I could smash this thing.
Do it! Do it!
What'd you think?
That was pretty amazing, huh?
That was really wild.
Hey. Hey, hey, listen, uh,
Lindsay came up with some
great names for the band.
Tell them, Lindsay.
Oh, yeah? I hope
it's something catchy,
like, uh, the math-letes.
All right.
Let's hear 'em.
Well, I thought the band
needed a name
that not only said who you were,
but what you want to
represent to the audience.
- So...
- Say it.
Go tell 'em.
OK. Here's one.
Mission control.
- No way.
- Why not?
'cause it sounds like
some space thing.
So? What's wrong with that?
Space blows.
Tell 'em the next one
that you thought up.
You guys are gonna love
this one. Tell 'em.
Anarchy's child.
No way! Boo!
What does that even mean?
I don't see you guys coming up
with any names for the band.
Hello, ladies, gentlemen.
Hello, Mr. Andopolis.
I take it the symphony's over.
I'm sorry, Dad.
We just finished.
It sounded a lot better,
though, right?
Nick, can I talk to you
for a moment?
Yes, sir.
I'll be upstairs.
Ladies, gentlemen...
Let's get outta here.
- I'll just be a minute, you know.
- Yeah, but he won't.
I'm hungry.
Can we get something to eat?
Yeah. Let's go.
- You working the drive-through?
- Yeah, in an hour.
All right! Let's go there,
get a bunch of free crap.
You've got to at least buy a pop,
or I'm gonnahe get caught.
Can't you just wait for me?
Just meet us there.
This is Mission control
requesting permission to rock out.
Hey, I'll wait for you.
Hey, Dad, I know I'm not
supposed to play past 5:00.
I'm really sorry.
If you're sorry,
you wouldn't keep doing this.
I guess I just forgot
to look at the clock.
Nick, you're killing me here.
Jeez, I keep trying to be a good guy,
- you're pushing me.
- I'm not pushing you, Dad.
You're pushing me, Nick.
I want your drums
out of the basement.
Dad, you already made me move
the drums out of the garage.
Where am I supposed to put them if
I can't keep them in the basement?
Instead of practicing
with your friends,
why don't you try practicing
at keeping your grades up?
'cause your 18th birthday's
coming up fast.
You've got to maintain a C+ average.
You know our deal.
Dad, I really... I don't
wanna join the army, OK?
I'm not cut out for the army.
C+. It's not too much
to ask for, Nick.
I'm studying as hard as I can.
Maybe I'm not smart enough,
but I'm doing the best that I can.
You're not working
hard enough, Nick.
Yes, sir.
Dad?
I really think that I can
make it as a drummer.
I really thought
that I could walk on the moon,
but you just don't see any
moon rocks around here, do ya?
Thanks for the talk, dad.
You mom cans her own vegetables?
Are you OK?
Look, why don't you go, um...
Why don't you go meet up
with those other guys?
Yeah, OK.
Look, Nick, I couldn't help
overhearing.
And I know maybe
it's none of my business,
but you're the one who told me that
your drums are your reason for living,
and I don't think you should
let anyone talk you out of that.
You just need to stick with it
and prove everybody wrong.
- Is that really what you think?
- Absolutely.
You can do whatever you want
if you believe in yourself.
No one's ever said that
to me before.
Well, it's true.
Thank you.
Lindsay...
You're like the only person
who's ever gotten what I'm about.
Yeah, well, we're not
that different...
Except you're gonna be
a famous drummer.
Do you wanna come with me
to meet up with those guys?
All right. Let's go.
I should probably change
out of these shorts first.
I think they look good.
It's just a lot easier for me to
drum without fabric on my thighs.
This earth ball doesn't
look like the earth.
Watch out!
That's it.
I'm gonna die in gym class.
OK, everybody hit the shower.
Come on, that's it.
Good job.
Good job today.
Come on, this is ridiculous.
My hands are filthy.
Yeah, and I can't say no to a long,
luxurious shower.
No! You can't!
You're on your own.
I'm farshtinkiner, and I'm showering.
Oh, come on.
Just one more day.
Would you quit being such a baby?
Just close your eyes,
and it'll be over before you know it.
I'm with him.
Oh, thanks!
You know?
Friends.
Hey, Sam.
Are you taking French next year?
I don't know.
I'm thinking of taking German,
since I'm 1/4 German.
C-could you put on a towel?
Why?
Well...
'cause you're naked?
Sam, our bodies are merely a shell
which conceal our heavenly souls.
Try not to get too uptight.
Auf wiedersehen.
When did you get chest hair?
What? I have chest ha...
Oh! Would you look at that?
It'll slow you down in the pool.
So, you guys are gonna do it.
I mean...
You're gonna take a shower.
It's just water. What could happen?
Well, you could stop smelling
like my butt, for one.
Oh, shoot! I was gonna bring some
cologne. I completely forgot.
Nail the geeks!
I hope I can still have kids.
Come on. You got hit in the groin.
You didn't have a hysterectomy.
Weir, what are you doing?
Look at that head of hair, huh?
You just get that cut?
That is very stylish
and very, very dry.
Come on. I'm not
going through this again.
Off with the clothes
and into the shower.
What?
I mean...
I don't feel too well.
You don't feel well.
You think I'm new?
Don't pull the fake
sick crap on me. Come on.
I am sick.
I'm dizzy...
and I have a headache,
and I'm nauseous.
All right, OK. Just go
to the nurse's office.
Pick up the Academy Award
on the way there, Weir.
Schweiber, put on some clothes.
You look like a 50-year-old man.
Hey, I thought you guys
were practicing today.
Yeah. I don't know if those guys
are coming or not.
They went down to the junkyard
to get a carburetor
for Kim's Gremlin.
Yeah, it might take a while.
What?
No. I just...
I think you guys
need to rehearse more.
I thought that you said
that we were good.
Yeah, but you guys aren't good
enough to win any competitions.
Thanks a lot, you know?
Thanks a lot, Lindsay.
No. I...
Well, I mean, it's true, Nick.
If you wanna prove
your dad wrong, then...
the band has to be really great,
or else he's gonna
send you to the army.
I know.
You just need to work harder.
You think so?
Yeah. When I was in the mathletes,
we did logarithms until
we couldn't see straight.
You know, but it paid off.
We were state champions,
and we went to nationals
2 years in a row.
I don't know.
Daniel isn't really into practicing.
Well, who's the leader of this band?
You or Daniel?
- Thank you!
- I like it fast.
Listen, guys...
Listen, uh...
That wasn't very good.
Let's try it again.
What?
Let's try
Sunshine of your Love again.
We just played it, man.
Why would we do it again?
'cause it wasn't...
It wasn't right, man.
It was really sloppy, and it didn't
really sound anything like the record.
I don't care what
the record sounds like, OK?
We play it the way we play it.
Are you still buyin' pot
from the same guy?
You mean me?
Look, guys... I just wanna
play the song right, you know?
Look, any way we play
is the right way.
Not if we want to get into
Battle of the Bands.
I could give a crap about
Battle of the Bands!
Who cares?
You were right, Lindsay.
Right about what?
Please. Do tell.
I'll tell you.
That you guys don't care, you know?
Look, maybe you guys
are just screwin' around,
but I want us to be good, you know?
I'm tired of sucking
at everything in my life,
and I wanna nail
that audition, all right?
But we're not gonna
nail that audition
unless we play the songs
over and over and over again
until they're perfect.
All right, Daniel? So can we just
play the song right once?
Please?
All right?
- Let's play the stupid song.
- Thank you.
Did you hear any sticks, man?
Wait for my sticks, all right?
Gee, this is really fun, guys.
I'm glad we have a band.
- Well, that sucked.
- Royally.
No, hey.
Hey, it sounded better.
- Yeah, it really did sound better.
- Oh, did it, Lindsay?
Do you approve?
- Come on, Daniel.
- I'm outta here.
You're a piece of work, Lindsay.
- Daniel, where you going?
- Anywhere!
- We need to rehearse more!
- No, you need to rehearse more!
We need to get the hell out of here!
I hate this song now. We played it
6 times. I never wanna hear it again.
It sounded better.
Who cares, man?
We're in a paneled basement,
not the Silverdome.
You know, you and Yoko here
have turned music into school.
What are you gonna do,
start handing out band homework?
I just wanna play
the song right, Daniel!
- Then go join the marching band, geek.
- You know what? Shut up!
At least the marching band can play
something right twice in a row!
You are a dumb-ass, Andopolis!
Rock'n roll don't come from your brain.
It comes from your crotch.
And if you ever got any,
Mr. Cute shorts,
you'd know that.
Let's get out of here.
I quit.
- Fine!
- I guess that means I quit.
Fine! Quit!
You're not even good enough
to be in Creation!
Thanks a lot, Lindsay.
I don't get it.
What do they have that we don't?
Good bodies.
So he can throw her
over his shoulder.
Big deal.
He should use his legs more.
He's gonna throw out his back.
I don't know.
I mean, my mom says that women prefer
guys with a good sense of humor.
But you're not very funny.
Screw you! I'm hilarious.
Ooh, how witty.
Get this guy on Hollywood squares.
I overheard that Todd Shellinger
takes off his shirt
when he makes out.
Why would he do that?
Why would anybody do that?
Probably to show off his chest hair.
I know that's what I'm gonna do.
Go ahead, laugh,
but all cool guys have hairy chests:
Selleck, Reynolds, Rockford.
Hey, what about Mork?
He's got more hair on his hand
than Sam has in his pits.
Shut up!
Will girls ever like us?
I think our best
play is to go for...
the smart, sexy librarian type.
You know, she's sweet and shy,
but then she takes off
her glasses and rrrowf!
Like Bailey on WKRP in Cincinnati.
But Cindy Sanders
is like a librarian type.
Yeah. Librarian for
the Playboy mansion.
This push-up's too hard to push up.
Oh, man!
Gross!
Oh, you're sick.
Oh, my god.
It's cold.
So, where is everybody?
No idea.
Well, that's kinda weird, isn't it?
That no one is around...
Not that you don't have
any idea where anyone is.
I'm gonna go.
Hey, Lindsay.
Thanks for breaking up the band.
- What?
- "What?"
I didn't break up the band.
I just thought you guys
should learn one song.
So, you admit it.
Yes, I admit it. I...
God! How could I be
so awful to suggest
that you actually play an entire song
correctly all the way through?
God knows Zeppelin only plays
half of Stairway to Heaven,
and the Who never even
practices Teenage Wasteland.
Baba O'Reilly.
What?
The name of the song
is Baba O'Reilly.
It's on Who's Next?
I didn't break up the band.
I just wanted to help Nick.
- Nick doesn't need any help.
- How can you say that?
If he doesn't make it as a drummer,
he has to go into the army.
What?
He's not gonna make it as a drummer.
So why don't you just let him have
some fun before he has to ship off?
Yeah? Well, you sound
just like his dad.
Maybe his dad is right.
I can't believe you're saying that.
Lindsay, he's not gonna be
the next Keith Moon.
If he's got someplace to go
to take care of him,
why don't you just stay
out of his way?
Daniel, that is not
how it has to be.
Schweiber.
- Here.
- Trinsky.
Ich bin hier.
Weir.
Anybody seen Weir?
Yeah, man, and this kid,
he was, like,
"Red-rum! Red-rum!"
Forget it, man,
red-rum's murder backwards.
Come on.
This ain't tea with the queen.
You leave now, you're still 10 minutes
late to class. Come on, let's go.
- Red-rum...
- Aw, get out of here, you nut!
Who's there?
Who's in there?
You know, it's a little easier
if you sit down and drop your pants.
So, uh, how come you
weren't in English today?
I bailed.
The whole band breaking up thing
has gotten me really down.
You know?
Yeah, well, it shouldn't.
And it wasn't a real band.
Those guys were just screwing around.
You're the only one trying
to be a professional.
I still don't have a band, you know?
Well, maybe you could join this one.
What are you talking about?
Dimension's looking
for a new drummer?!
It was up at the record store.
These guys are like the top
working band in Detroit!
I saw them open for Jethro Tull
at Cobo Hall last year.
Tull could barely follow them.
Oh, man!
You could be getting paid
to drum, like a real job.
Hell, yeah!
Man, I gotta go call these guys
and set up an audition.
And then I gotta go practice.
It's not... it's not 5:00 yet, is it?
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
I don't want to get naked
in front of other guys.
Well, who does?
You know how many men have
seen me naked in my lifetime?
A lot.
Do you think I'm
comfortable with it?
No, but I live with it.
I just don't want them to tease me.
Who would tease you?
All right, look, here's what you do.
You tell the you're proud
of your body. That'll show 'em.
You have a beautiful body.
Doesn't he, Harold?
Yes. I just said
he had a beautiful body.
Those other boys are
probably just jealous.
Lindsay, tell your brother
what a beautiful body he has.
- Mom!
- Mom!
- Lindsay.
- What?
Your mother asked you to tell
your brother he has a beautiful body.
That is so stupid.
Lindsay, tell him.
It's not gonna help him.
Just say the words.
It'll make him feel better.
You have a beautiful body.
You're an adonis, a slab of beef...
If I wasn't your sister,
oh, my god...
Lindsay! Can it.
See, sweetheart?
That was great, Paul.
We'll be in touch.
I never played on a drum kit
this small before.
I'm sure I'll be fine.
You Nick?
- Hey, I'm Scott.
- Hello, Scott.
- That's Alex, and that's Vance.
- Hey, Alex. Hello, Vance.
- How's it goin', man?
- Great.
I hope this kit's OK with you.
Oh, yeah.
No, it's fine.
The one I normally play on
is a lot bigger.
- Really? How many pieces?
- 29.
29-piece kit.
What are you doing here?
You should be auditioning us.
Yeah, right. Right?
I saw you guys open for Jethro Tull
at Cobo Hall last year.
You guys blew them away.
You must've been there Friday, 'cause
Saturday we got booed off the stage.
We didn't get booed off the stage.
So what do you say?
You wanna jam or what?
- Cool.
- Let's rock it, man.
You call the tune.
How about a little Cream?
Yeah, let's do Crossroads.
What do you...
what about Sunshine of your Love?
I hate that song.
Let's do Crossroads.
We do it live.
- No problem.
- All right. Count it off, my man.
That was good, but let's
try it a little bit tighter.
Tighter?
- All right. Let's do it.
- Count it off.
Hold it. Hold it.
Hold on. Let's try it
just a little bit quicker pace.
Oh, quicker pace.
Sorry'bout that.
Ready?
- All right, here we go.
- Count it off.
Good. All right.
Great job, man.
Cool. Thanks a lot.
What do you mean?
That's it? What, that's it?
Thanks a lot.
Hey, good luck with
that 29-piecer, man.
Maybe someday,
you'll knock it up to an even 30.
Thanks.
So, what are you gonna do now?
Join the army, I guess.
No. I mean... Right now.
Do you want to go to
the record store or anything?
- I suck, Lindsay.
- No, you don't.
You were in there with me, right?
You... you heard me playing?
I was a joke.
You know, Nick,
those guys are 5 years older than you.
And in 5 years, you're gonna be
way better than they are.
No, I'm not.
Sometimes I go down in my basement,
and I put on a live album,
I can... see myself on the stage.
Do you understand what I mean?
I can see it.
And I'm playing a 10-minute solo,
and I'm on one of those
hydraulic risers, you know,
that make the drum kit
go way up high.
I'm Peter Chris or something.
Oh, man...
I'm not gonna be that guy.
I'm never gonna be that guy.
I'll be lucky if I get to be
the guy who pushes the button
that makes the riser go up,
but I'm not even gonna be that guy.
I'm not even gonna be that guy 'cause
I can't even keep a C+ average, man.
Well, Nick, I could... I can
help you get your grades up.
He's gonna make me join the army.
Oh, man, I'm gonna have
to join the army.
I'm gonna be surrounded
by a group of psychopaths
like my brothers and like my dad.
Nick, come on.
That's not gonna happen to you.
I won't let it.
Oh, my god.
I'm done, man.
I'm done.
What is wrong with them?
Why do they think that hitting
people with towels is so funny?
If it wasn't us...
It would be kinda funny.
Afternoon, gentlemen.
Hey, have you lost weight?
Shut up!
Get out of my way.
I'm gonna take a shower.
Look who finally decided
to take a shower.
Nice pecs, Weir.
You look like a flat-chested girl.
Flat-chested girl.
Well, I'm proud of my body.
Oh, he's proud of his body.
He should be proud.
Look at this.
Maybe you should show it to
everybody then.
What are you doing?!
Come on, guys.
Guys, don't...
I wouldn't want you to miss class.
Come on!
Let me in!
Mr. Fredricks!
So, how long have you been teaching?
- 2 months.
- 2 months? Do you like it?
- I love it.
- I love it, too.
Oh, I'm sorry, Rear.
I forgot to take that!
Got some shorts in my locker.
What...
Sam, Alan's gone.
All clear, you can come back now.
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah. Sure.
- Streaker!
- Go, Sam! Go!
- Where you from?
- I'm from right here.
- I actually live down the street.
- You're from right here?
Yeah, right.
You know...
Well, what the hell
are you looking at?
The shower's that way.
I just wanted you to know I can't
stop thinking about that kiss.
Oh, good.
It really meant a lot to me.
I'm glad.
Let's go out to the patio.
Patio? I thought you were
fighting with those guys.
Yeah, we were, but not anymore.
We fight like that all the time.
It doesn't mean anything.
They heard what happened
at the audition.
They came over last night,
we're cool.
You guys, I'm serious.
I think my mom, like, wants to come
see the band play or something.
- When she gets out of rehab?
- Shut up.
Ringo starr.
You finally got your wish, Nick.
You're as good a drummer
as John Bonham.
Of course, he's dead.
You should've seen the looks
on those guys' faces, man.
I think I ruined their love
of music forever.
Is Dimension gonna charge you for
the pee stain you left on the drum seat?
Shut up.
Look, Dimension sucks, man.
You're too good for them.
I saw them open for Tull,
they got booed off the stage.
Thanks a lot, man.
Lindsay, we have to talk.
You are such a slut.
No. It's cool.
We just gotta be out by 5:00.
Let's play some real songs for once.
I wrote out some Iggy Pop
and Ramones songs.
The Ramones? The Ramones
only play, like, 3 chords, man.
- So I'll learn another one.
- I gotta pee.
I heard you jumped him.
What?
You don't have to act innocent,
Lindsay, I know you're a slut.
I'm pretty sure
Cindy didn't see you.
And if she did, it was just
with her peripheral vision.
You know, it wouldn't be bad
if people saw my back.
But my front's a whole
other story, you know?
Maybe I could transfer
to another school.
Well, well, well.
That was fun
in gym class today, huh?
Leave me alone.
They're bringing in the psychiatrist
for the kids who had to see you naked.
Shut up, Alan.
There he is!
Hey, Sam, I heard you streaked!
Way to go!
Hey, shut up!
All right, Sam.
You guys are losers,
and you always will be.
How come you're the one
riding home with no friends?
You're like a god.
People are gonna worship you.
I play so much better
when you're around.
I want to play it again.
Put more dry ice in the bucket.
Sure.
Thanks.