Frasier (1993–2004): Season 8, Episode 14 - Hungry Heart - full transcript
Kenny arrives at Frasier's place in a panic after unwittingly making a date with a woman even though he's married. Frasier agrees to go and cancel the date, not knowing that Kenny's wife has already chased his date away and is waiting there in her place. Thinking she's a single woman, Frasier asks her out, and she says yes. Daphne's eating problem comes to a head when she starts hiding food throughout the house and Niles finally notices her weight gain.
OH, I'M SORRY. CARE
FOR SOME BRIE?
NO, THANK YOU, DAPHNE.
ISN'T NILES TAKING
YOU TO DINNER SOON?
YEAH, BUT IF I DON'T
HAVE A LITTLE SNACK NOW,
I'LL JUST MAKE A PIG
OF MYSELF LATER.
MMM.
YOU KNOW, I'M... I'M REALLY
STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT HER.
[doorbell ringing]
YOU'RE WORRIED? SOMEWHERE ON A
POULTRY FARM A BUNCH OF CHICKENS
ARE HOLDIN' A PRAYER VIGIL.
AH, HELLO, NILES.
HELLO, FRASIER.
LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT.
CHOCOLATE-COVERED,
HONEY-NOUGAT PRALINE BOMBS.
AND THEY'RE JUMBOS.
WELL, WE KNEW
THEY WEREN'T FOR US.
DAD!
LISTEN, NILES, UH,
THIS MAY BE A BIT OF
A SENSITIVE SUBJECT
BUT HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT DAPHNE LATELY?
AH, WELL, SHE'S
HAPPIER, AS AM I.
[stuttering] I GUESS I MEANT
MORE IN A PHYSICAL WAY.
WELL, SHE TRIMMED HER
BANGS. THAT WAS A WEEK AGO.
MEN!
WELL, UH, I... I... I GUESS WHAT
I'M REALLY TALKING ABOUT IS, UH...
WELL, HER SIZE.
WELL, THAT'S MY FAULT.
I... I... I WAS SELF-CONSCIOUS
ABOUT OUR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE
AND I ASKED HER TO STOP
WEARING HIGH-HEELED SHOES.
NILES. YES?
I HOPE ONE DAY
TO LOVE A WOMAN THE
WAY YOU LOVE DAPHNE.
DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL. YOU WILL.
NOW, WHERE'S MY LITTLE SPARROW?
[doorbell ringing]
SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN. OH.
KENNY. GOSH, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
I... I... I'M SORRY TO
DROP BY LIKE THIS.
IT'S JUST THAT I'M
IN A TERRIBLE BIND.
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG AT THE STATION?
NO, NO, NO, NO. I-IT'S PERSONAL.
I STOPPED BY A BAR LAST
NIGHT TO WATCH THE GAME
AND I STARTED TALKING
TO THIS WOMAN, JANIS.
SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, AND
SHE HAD THIS GREAT LAUGH,
AND SHE SMELLED GOOD.
AND FOR SOME CRAZY
REASON SHE LIKED ME, TOO.
OH, KENNY, WHAT DID YOU DO?
I MADE A DATE WITH HER.
SHE'S WAITING FOR ME
RIGHT NOW AT CHEZ HENRI.
I'VE NEVER DONE
ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!
I'M A MARRIED MAN WITH
KIDS AND I HAVE A DATE!
KENNY, KENNY. TRUST ME. IF YOU
GO DOWN AND MEET WITH THIS WOMAN,
IT COULD BE THE END
OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
NOW, I'VE NEVER MET YOUR WIFE, BUT
YOU'VE ALWAYS SPOKEN VERY HIGHLY OF HER.
ARE YOU PREPARED
TO LOSE HER? NO.
THEN YOU CAN'T GO.
STAND JANIS UP?
SHE'LL WONDER WHAT
HAPPENED. SHE'LL CALL MY HOUSE.
YOU GAVE THIS WOMAN
YOUR HOME NUMBER?
I'M NEW AT THIS. OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU'RE JUST
GOING TO HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE
AND... AND TELL HER
THE WHOLE THING'S OFF.
NO, NO, NO. DON'T MAKE ME
GO DOWN THERE, DOC. I'M WEAK.
ONE LOOK IN HER EYES
AND THOSE SEXY, FULL LIPS...
WELL, MAYBE A QUICK HELLO.
KENNY, KENNY, WAIT!
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE
YOU SHOULDN'T GO DOWN THERE.
WELL, WHAT ELSE AM I
GOING TO DO? ALL RIGHT, UH...
GO HOME.
I'LL GO DOWN AND
TALK TO HER FOR YOU.
WOW, YOU'D REALLY DO THAT?
THANKS, DOC!
OH, WELL, YES, YES, OF
COURSE. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, OK, OFF.
ALL RIGHT, SO, UH, WHAT NAME DID
YOU MAKE THE RESERVATION UNDER?
KENNY DALY.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
THEY KNOW ME THERE. I
WANTED A GOOD TABLE.
ALL RIGHT.
[people chattering]
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU JANIS?
YES.
THE JANIS WHO'S
MEETING KENNY DALY?
YES. IS THERE A PROBLEM?
JUST ONE. I'M HIS WIFE!
OH, MY GOD. HE DIDN'T
TELL ME HE WAS MARRIED.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
OH, I AM SO SORRY.
OH, NO, YOU MUST HAVE HEARD MY
MESSAGE ON YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE.
YEAH.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION KENNY'S
EYES ARE BROWN, NOT HAZELICIOUS.
UH, EXCUSE ME.
COULD YOU PLEASE TAKE THIS?
YES, MA'AM.
[sighing]
EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU MEETING KENNY DALY?
YOU BET I AM.
WELL, I'M FRASIER CRANE.
YES, I KNOW.
OH, THANK YOU. IT'S ALWAYS
NICE TO MEET A FAN. UH...
ANYWAY, I'M AFRAID I HAVE A
BIT OF BAD NEWS. YOU SEE, UH,
KENNY WON'T BE
MAKING IT TONIGHT.
WHY NOT?
WELL, UH,
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT KENNY.
UH, JANIS, ISN'T IT?
UH, YES, JANIS.
YOU SEE, UH, KENNY'S MARRIED.
REALLY? YES.
HE WANTED TO COME
DOWN AND TELL YOU HIMSELF
BUT I... I INSISTED
THAT I COME INSTEAD.
YOU SEE, HE FINDS
YOU SO ATTRACTIVE
THAT HE CAN'T CONTROL
HIMSELF AROUND YOU.
IS THAT RIGHT? YES.
IN FACT, I... I PRACTICALLY HAD TO
WRESTLE HIM AWAY FROM THE DOOR.
[sobbing] OH, GOSH!
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
JANIS, LISTEN TO...
THERE'S NO NEED TO CRY.
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
OTHER FISH IN THE SEA.
AND CERTAINLY A WOMAN AS
BEAUTIFUL AS YOU COULD HAVE HER PICK.
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT.
NO, NO, IT'S TRUE.
ARE YOU READY TO ORDER?
OH, WE AREN'T STAYING.
[stuttering] JUST
HANG ON A SECOND.
UH, JANIS, LISTEN,
UM, I'M FREE TONIGHT.
UH, WHAT DO YOU
SAY I BUY YOU DINNER?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
OH, COME ON. YOU DESERVE
TO HAVE A NICE EVENING.
WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN
OUT IN A LONG TIME.
[chuckling] WELL, YOU
SEE, THERE YOU GO.
YOU KNOW, THEY HAPPEN TO MAKE
A SUMPTUOUS CREME BRULEE HERE.
[chuckling] REALLY?
WELL, WHY THE HELL NOT?
[both chuckling]
[keys jingling]
[door opening]
(Niles) THERE WE GO. THANK YOU.
OH...
OH! THANK YOU.
I'LL JUST PUT THIS
IN THE FRIDGE. YEAH.
THAT SURE WAS A
SNOOTY RESTAURANT.
THE WAITRESS'S EYEBROWS
NEARLY HIT THE CEILING
WHEN I ASKED FOR A DOGGY BAG.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HER PROBLEM WAS.
THE PEOPLE AT THE NEXT TABLE
BARELY TOUCHED THIS PORK CHOP.
[Daphne exclaiming]
DAPHNE?
[moaning]
WHAT HAPPENED?
I STEPPED ON EDDIE'S CHEW
TOY AND TWISTED MY ANKLE.
OH. I DON'T THINK I CAN GET UP.
OH, HERE, HERE, HERE.
LET ME HELP YOU. THERE. OH.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. READY?
[grunting]
DAMN THESE WEAK SHANKS.
[grunting] OH, IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S ME. OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU'RE LIGHT AS A FEATHER.
OH, NILES, LOOK AT ME!
I'M A TUB!
DARLING, NO. YOU... YOU MIGHT
BE PERHAPS A LITTLE BIT STURDIER
BUT I LOVE YOU NO
MATTER WHAT YOUR SIZE.
WE NEED TO CREATE SOME
SORT OF FULCRUM. UM...
I'VE SPENT WEEKS
WATCHING MYSELF EXPAND.
I JUST KEPT HOPING IT
WOULD GO AWAY BY ITSELF.
WELL, I'M SURE ALL THOSE
SWEETS AND... AND LAVISH DINNERS
I'VE HEAPED ON YOU
HAVEN'T HELPED. OH.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I JUST NEED TO DEVELOP
SOME WILLPOWER.
I'LL HELP YOU.
WE'LL... WE'LL COMMIT TO A
PROGRAM OF... OF HEALTHY EATING
AND... AND EXERCISE.
TOGETHER, THERE'S
NOTHING WE CAN'T...
[grunting]
MAYBE IF I THROW A
ROPE OVER THAT BEAM.
WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, DAPHNE TRIPPED
ON SOMETHING AND FELL.
WHERE'S EDDIE?
OH, MY GOD! EDDIE!
EDDIE!
[sighing]
OH, THERE HE IS.
I... I THOUGHT MAYBE HE
RAN AWAY OR SOMETHING.
[moaning]
OH, DARLING, LOOK AT THAT. YOUR
ANKLE'S SWELLING UP ALREADY.
IT'S THE OTHER ONE!
COME HERE, COME HERE.
HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND.
YEAH, AND NO CRACKS, OLD MAN.
I KNOW I'VE GOTTEN HEAVY AND I'VE
RESOLVED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW. ON 3.
1, 2...
[all grunting]
MAYBE THE SUPER
HAS A HAND TRUCK.
[crying]
KILL ME!
GOOD LORD. WHAT HAPPENED?
DAPHNE TWISTED
HER ANKLE AND FELL.
UH, UH, COME HELP US LIFT HER.
OH, OK, BOYS, NOW, BE CAREFUL.
USE YOUR LEGS. COME ON, DAPH.
USE YOUR LEGS. ALL
RIGHT. COME ON. COME ON.
THERE WE GO. OK.
OH, BLOODY HELL! I'M
WEARING 2 DIFFERENT SHOES!
[doorbell ringing] YES, UH...
(Niles) WE'LL GET
YOU TO YOUR ROOM.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S
OK. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
DAPHNE, I JUST THOUGHT
OF SOMETHING FUNNY.
IT TOOK 3 CRANES TO LIFT YOU.
KENNY, I THOUGHT
YOU LEFT HOURS AGO.
I TRIED TO, BUT I KEPT
CIRCLING THE BLOCK.
I... I COULDN'T GO HOME TILL I KNEW
EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN CARE OF.
REST ASSURED, YOU'RE OFF
THE HOOK. OH, THANKS, DOC.
HOW DID JANIS TAKE IT?
YOU KNOW, I MUST SAY SHE
WAS RATHER ATTACHED TO YOU,
BUT, UH, I CONVINCED HER
IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.
YOU'RE SURE SHE'S OVER ME?
BECAUSE ONCE I GET UNDER A LADY'S SKIN,
I'M LIKE A SPLINTER.
I'M POSITIVE.
UH, LISTEN, UH,
KENNY, A-ABOUT JANIS,
UM, SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU.
YOU SEE, WE SORT OF HIT IT OFF.
I MADE PLANS TO SEE HER
AGAIN. UH, IS THAT OK WITH YOU?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ANYTHING FOR THE GUY
WHO SAVED MY MARRIAGE.
I ONLY HOPE THIS WOMAN
MAKES YOU AS HAPPY
AS MY WIFE MAKES ME.
[both exclaiming]
YEAH, OK, LET'S SAVE A LITTLE
FOR THE LADIES, SHALL WE?
[laughing] DOC.
[door opening]
OH, DAPHNE. LISTEN, MY DATE
WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND
AND, UH, I CAN'T SEEM TO
FIND THE WATER CRACKERS.
OH, BLAME YOUR BROTHER.
HE CLEARED THE KITCHEN OF ANYTHING
WITH ANY SUGAR, FAT, OR FLAVOR.
AH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I MUST SAY, DAPHNE,
I'VE ADMIRED YOUR
RESOLVE THE PAST FEW DAYS.
OH, THANK YOU, DR. CRANE.
[moaning]
[doorbell ringing]
BLOODY HELL.
HI, NILES. HELLO, DAPHNE.
OOH, WHAT'S THAT?
HERE IT IS, THE
BODY SCULPTOR 100.
GUARANTEED TO WORK 12
MUSCLE GROUPS ALL AT ONCE.
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE GETTING THE 300.
I COULDN'T LIFT IT.
SHOULD WE SET IT
UP IN YOUR ROOM?
GREAT. RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
[doorbell ringing]
AH, DAPHNE. YES.
OH, KENNY?
SORRY TO BARGE IN ON YOU. I
DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO TURN.
I THINK MY WIFE'S
HAVING AN AFFAIR.
OH, NOW, KENNY,
JUST TRY TO CALM DOWN.
ISN'T IT ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT BECAUSE
YOU WERE THINKING OF CHEATING YOURSELF
THAT YOU'RE JUST PROJECTING
YOUR GUILT ON TO HER?
NO, NO, DOC, SHE'S BEEN
ACTING ALL WEIRD LATELY.
AND TONIGHT SHE
WENT TO A P.T.A. MEETING
WITH HER WONDER BRA
JACKED UP TO HER CHIN.
[doorbell ringing]
GOOD LORD, THAT'LL BE
JANIS. WE HAVE A DATE.
OH, NO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER.
THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE AWKWARD.
RIGHT, RIGHT. OK,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN MY BEDROOM?
IT'S RIGHT DOWN THE HALL THERE,
AND, UH, I'LL SEND
HER TO THE KITCHEN
AND COME AND GET YOU
WHEN THE COAST IS CLEAR.
OH, JANIS, COME ON IN.
HERE, LET ME TAKE YOUR COAT. OH.
WELL, GOSH, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
OH, THANK YOU.
OH, WHAT A NICE PLACE.
I'M NOT USED TO A MAN
WITH SUCH GOOD TASTE.
OH, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH, IT IS. IT IS.
JANIS, IF... IF
YOU'LL FORGIVE ME,
I... I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO
TAKE CARE OF IN THE OTHER ROOM.
UH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU HEAD TO THE
KITCHEN AND SELECT A WINE?
OH, I WOULDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO PICK.
WELL, ALL RIGHT. ON THE
COUNTER YOU'LL FIND MY WINE LOG.
JUST SELECT SOMETHING
FROM "FRASIER'S FAVORITES."
[laughing] OK.
ALL RIGHT, KENNY, JANIS IS IN
THE KITCHEN. YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
GO WHERE? TO AN EMPTY HOUSE?
AN ALL-NIGHT MOVIE?
JUST WALK THE STREETS?
ALL THOSE SOUND GOOD.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I'M GONNA CALL HER CELL PHONE.
I'LL... I'LL TELL HER I LOVE HER
AND DEMAND SHE COME HOME.
INSTEAD OF CRYING
ON YOUR SHOULDER
IT'S TIME I STARTED ACTING
LIKE A MAN. GOOD FOR YOU.
CAN YOU DIAL FOR ME?
MY HANDS ARE SWEATY.
[panting]
OH.
MMM.
OH.
(Niles) DAPHNE!
DAPHNE, I FIXED THE
EXERCISE MACHINE.
TURNS OUT YOU
DIDN'T BEND THE FRAME,
YOU JUST POPPED
ONE OF THE SPRINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DR. CRANE INSISTED I DUST ALL
KNICK-KNACKS BEFORE GOING OUT.
(Frasier) OH, HELLO, NILES.
GOOD GOD, MAN. JUST
BECAUSE DAPHNE LIVES HERE,
DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S AT YOUR
BECK AND CALL 24 HOURS A DAY.
AS SOON AS WE
FINISH OUR OBLIQUES
WE'RE OUT OF HERE
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!
TYRANT.
JANIS?
KENNY, I'LL HAVE
TO CALL YOU BACK.
HI, HAVE YOU SELECTED A WINE?
UH, FRASIER, I'M BEGINNING
TO HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT THIS DATE.
IT'S ABOUT KENNY.
OH, LORD, YOU'RE STILL
THINKING ABOUT HIM.
LISTEN, I KNOW KENNY.
I LIKE KENNY. BUT HE'S MARRIED.
WELL, I KNOW, BUT... AND YET,
HE LEFT HIS LOVING
WIFE AND FAMILY AT HOME
SO HE COULD GO
TROLLING BARS FOR WOMEN.
MAY-MAYBE HE REGRETS THAT.
OH, YEAH, SURE.
MEN ALWAYS CHANGE.
ARE YOU SAYING I
CAN'T TRUST HIM?
NO.
I'M SAYING THAT
YOU DESERVE A MAN
WHO THINKS YOU'RE
AS SPECIAL AS I DO.
[gasps]
YOU ARE VERY PERSUASIVE.
OH. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I WILL BE BACK IN ONE MOMENT.
[chuckling] ALL RIGHT.
DAD, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
CLEAR OUT TONIGHT. I'VE GOT A DATE.
DOC, I NEED YOU IN THE BEDROOM.
PRETTY.
VERY FUNNY.
OH, I'M JUST GOING TO
TAKE EDDIE FOR A WALK
AND THEN I'LL BEAT IT ON OVER
TO McGINTY'S, ALL RIGHT? RIGHT.
DAD, FOR GOD'S SAKES.
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
MY CHIHULY IS NOT A TRASH CAN.
ALL RIGHT, KENNY, TIME TO GO.
LOOK AT HER.
HOW DID I EVER LET A WOMAN LIKE
THIS GET AWAY? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
LET ME WORK UP SOME PRELIMINARY
THOUGHTS OVER THE WEEKEND.
(Kenny) LOOK AT THIS ONE.
IT'S HER AT THE GRAND CANYON.
I ASK YOU, WHICH ONE IS
THE TRUE NATURAL WONDER?
OH, MY GOD.
YEAH,
THOSE WERE THE
BREAST-FEEDING MONTHS.
GOOD TIMES.
[doorbell ringing]
HEY, DAPHNE. HEY,
ROZ, COME ON IN.
OH, I CAN'T STAY, I
JUST BROUGHT YOU
THAT LOW-FAT COOKBOOK I
WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT. OH.
YOU LOOK NICE.
OH, THANKS. I'M GOING
TO A CLUB TONIGHT.
I GOT THIS NEW PERFUME THAT'S
JUST LOADED WITH PHEROMONES.
WHAT ARE THOSE?
I DON'T KNOW. SOME HORMONE THAT'S
SUPPOSED TO GET A GUY ALL EXCITED.
[laughing]
YOU REALLY THINK IT WILL WORK?
IT'S WORTH A TRY.
AFTER ALL, IT IS APPROVED BY THE
FOOD AND LOVE ADMINISTRATION.
CHECK IT OUT.
[sniffing]
I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING.
REALLY? YEAH.
MAYBE I SHOULD PUT SOME MORE ON.
DO YOU MIND? NO, GO AHEAD.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON GOES
OUT WITH ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE
AND TEARS A FAMILY APART?
I MEAN, THERE ARE
CHILDREN INVOLVED HERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN, LET'S NOT
GET OVERLY DRAMATIC, ALL RIGHT?
GOD, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, LET
ME HAVE VENGEANCE ON HIS SOUL!
I GOT TO GO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO. LISTEN.
YOU'RE ONLY GOING
TO DO SOMETHING RASH.
TELL YOU WHAT, KENNY, I WANT
YOU TO, UH, LIE DOWN ON THE BED.
WHAT?
YES, YES, THIS IS A VERY EFFECTIVE
ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL
RIGHT. THERE YOU GO.
JUST LEAN BACK, CLOSE YOUR EYES,
AND COUNT TO A HUNDRED
THOUSAND.
OH, FRASIER, I'M READY
FOR THAT WINE NOW.
YOU'RE KENNY'S WIFE.
OH, GOD.
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
WELL, HE'S IN MY BEDROOM.
WHAT? HE CAME HERE
ASKING FOR ADVICE.
HE THOUGHT YOU WERE CHEATING
ON HIM, WHICH YOU NEARLY WERE.
OH, I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
RIGHT, RIGHT. LISTEN,
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?
OH, I WAS ANGRY
AND... AND HURT AND MIXED UP
AND YOU WERE SO NICE TO ME. YES.
AND, I DON'T KNOW.
LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT TO
UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
KENNY LOVES YOU.
YES, HE WAS ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE
BUT, PLEASE, YOU'VE GOT
TO FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT.
I MEAN, AFTER ALL, YOU
WERE ATTRACTED TO ME.
THAT WAS MORE REVENGE. AH.
WELL,
THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
ALL RIGHT, UH, LISTEN,
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
I... I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR MAKING AN ORDINARY
HOUSEWIFE FEEL SO...
(Kenny) HEY, DOC? OH, GOODBYE.
OH.
THAT ANGER MANAGEMENT'S
A LOAD OF CRAP.
KENNY, KENNY,
YOUR WIFE IS NOT
CHEATING ON YOU.
DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT.
UH, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE
OF THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
I'VE COUNSELED OVER THE YEARS.
MAYBE... MAYBE IT'S JUST A HUNCH.
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT...
YES, YOU TWO HAVE PROBLEMS,
BUT THEY'RE THE KIND OF
PROBLEMS THAT PEOPLE HAVE
WHEN THEY'VE BEEN IN A
RELATIONSHIP FOR A LONG TIME.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TALK.
I WANT YOU TO GO HOME.
AND I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND YOUR
WIFE THERE WAITING FOR YOU.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANKS, DOC. OH, ANY TIME.
THAT'S MY WIFE'S PURSE. HMM?
THAT'S NOT YOUR WIFE'S PURSE.
YES, IT IS. NO, IT'S NOT.
I KNOW MY WIFE'S PURSE. I
GOT IT FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
LOTS OF WOMEN CAN
HAVE THE SAME PURSE.
WELL, IF IT'S NOT HERS, WHY
DON'T YOU LET ME SEE IT?
KENNY,
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
UH, IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED
AND, UH, I'M SURE
THAT IN THE FUTURE
WE'LL ALL HAVE A GOOD
LAUGH OVER IT. UH...
IT'S JUST THAT, UH, WELL...
I DID NOT HAVE A DATE
WITH JANIS TONIGHT.
WELL, YOU HAD A
DATE WITH SOMEONE.
THE WINE, THE FIRE...
YES, YES, I... I DID HAVE A
DATE BUT IT WAS WITH, UH...
ROZ?
EXACTLY.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
[mumbling]
WOW, THAT STUFF REALLY WORKS.
MAYBE I SHOULD
WIPE SOME OF IT OFF.
RIGHT, UH, HERE,
TAKE YOUR PURSE.
WAIT, FRASIER, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT? THIS ISN'T MY...
[moaning]
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
[chuckling] YOU DOG.
OH, UH, BY THE WAY, DOC,
I OWE YOU SOME CHOCOLATES.
I GOT A LITTLE
HUNGRY IN YOUR ROOM.
I NOTICED THAT BOX
OF FANNY FARMERS
YOU GOT STUCK BETWEEN 2 BOOKS.
THANKS AGAIN.
[door closing]
I DON'T KEEP
CHOCOLATE IN MY ROOM.
ROZ! GET OUT HERE.
TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF!
WHO STASHED THE BOX OF
DOUGHNUTS BEHIND EDDIE'S DOG FOOD?
WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING. OK.
DAPHNE?
IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO TELL ME?
I LOVE YOU.
ANYTHING ELSE?
I LOVE CHOCOLATE AND PASTRIES
AND... OH, GOD, I CAN'T STOP
EATING. I'M OUT OF CONTROL.
OH, OH, COME HERE,
COME HERE, COME HERE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MY LOVE.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
YOU THROUGH THIS.
OF COURSE WE WILL, DAPH.
YOU KNOW, UH, THERE ARE
PROFESSIONALS WHO CAN HELP.
YEAH, THEY CAN
WIRE YOUR JAW SHUT,
STAPLE YOUR STOMACH,
PUT A BALLOON IN YOUR GUT.
THANK YOU, DAD.
I WAS REFERRING TO SOMETHING
MORE LIKE A SPA, ALL RIGHT?
ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT
LOOK INTO THAT JAW THING.
DAPHNE, I... I... I THINK A
SPA'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
THEY... THEY CAN
OVERSEE YOUR DIET
AND... AND PLAN YOUR EXERCISE
AND HELP YOU UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE OVEREATING.
YES. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DAPH,
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WE LOVE YOU,
OH. AND THAT YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
OH, THANK YOU.
ROZ. NO! YOU STAY RIGHT THERE.
I DON'T BLAME YOU,
I BLAME THE PEOPLE AT MANTASTIC.
[door closing]
(Frasier) ♪ HEY, BABY, I
HEAR THE BLUES A-CALLIN' ♪
♪ TOSSED SALADS
AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪
OH, MY.
♪ AND MAYBE I SEEM
A BIT CONFUSED ♪
♪ WELL, MAYBE, BUT
I GOT YOU PEGGED ♪
[laughing]
♪ BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪
♪ WITH THOSE TOSSED
SALADS AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪
♪ THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN ♪
THANK YOU!
FOR SOME BRIE?
NO, THANK YOU, DAPHNE.
ISN'T NILES TAKING
YOU TO DINNER SOON?
YEAH, BUT IF I DON'T
HAVE A LITTLE SNACK NOW,
I'LL JUST MAKE A PIG
OF MYSELF LATER.
MMM.
YOU KNOW, I'M... I'M REALLY
STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT HER.
[doorbell ringing]
YOU'RE WORRIED? SOMEWHERE ON A
POULTRY FARM A BUNCH OF CHICKENS
ARE HOLDIN' A PRAYER VIGIL.
AH, HELLO, NILES.
HELLO, FRASIER.
LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT.
CHOCOLATE-COVERED,
HONEY-NOUGAT PRALINE BOMBS.
AND THEY'RE JUMBOS.
WELL, WE KNEW
THEY WEREN'T FOR US.
DAD!
LISTEN, NILES, UH,
THIS MAY BE A BIT OF
A SENSITIVE SUBJECT
BUT HAVE YOU NOTICED ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT DAPHNE LATELY?
AH, WELL, SHE'S
HAPPIER, AS AM I.
[stuttering] I GUESS I MEANT
MORE IN A PHYSICAL WAY.
WELL, SHE TRIMMED HER
BANGS. THAT WAS A WEEK AGO.
MEN!
WELL, UH, I... I... I GUESS WHAT
I'M REALLY TALKING ABOUT IS, UH...
WELL, HER SIZE.
WELL, THAT'S MY FAULT.
I... I... I WAS SELF-CONSCIOUS
ABOUT OUR HEIGHT DIFFERENCE
AND I ASKED HER TO STOP
WEARING HIGH-HEELED SHOES.
NILES. YES?
I HOPE ONE DAY
TO LOVE A WOMAN THE
WAY YOU LOVE DAPHNE.
DON'T WORRY, YOU WILL. YOU WILL.
NOW, WHERE'S MY LITTLE SPARROW?
[doorbell ringing]
SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN. OH.
KENNY. GOSH, THIS IS A SURPRISE.
I... I... I'M SORRY TO
DROP BY LIKE THIS.
IT'S JUST THAT I'M
IN A TERRIBLE BIND.
IS THERE SOMETHING
WRONG AT THE STATION?
NO, NO, NO, NO. I-IT'S PERSONAL.
I STOPPED BY A BAR LAST
NIGHT TO WATCH THE GAME
AND I STARTED TALKING
TO THIS WOMAN, JANIS.
SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL, AND
SHE HAD THIS GREAT LAUGH,
AND SHE SMELLED GOOD.
AND FOR SOME CRAZY
REASON SHE LIKED ME, TOO.
OH, KENNY, WHAT DID YOU DO?
I MADE A DATE WITH HER.
SHE'S WAITING FOR ME
RIGHT NOW AT CHEZ HENRI.
I'VE NEVER DONE
ANYTHING LIKE THIS BEFORE!
I'M A MARRIED MAN WITH
KIDS AND I HAVE A DATE!
KENNY, KENNY. TRUST ME. IF YOU
GO DOWN AND MEET WITH THIS WOMAN,
IT COULD BE THE END
OF YOUR MARRIAGE.
NOW, I'VE NEVER MET YOUR WIFE, BUT
YOU'VE ALWAYS SPOKEN VERY HIGHLY OF HER.
ARE YOU PREPARED
TO LOSE HER? NO.
THEN YOU CAN'T GO.
STAND JANIS UP?
SHE'LL WONDER WHAT
HAPPENED. SHE'LL CALL MY HOUSE.
YOU GAVE THIS WOMAN
YOUR HOME NUMBER?
I'M NEW AT THIS. OH, GOD.
ALL RIGHT. WELL, YOU'RE JUST
GOING TO HAVE TO GO DOWN THERE
AND... AND TELL HER
THE WHOLE THING'S OFF.
NO, NO, NO. DON'T MAKE ME
GO DOWN THERE, DOC. I'M WEAK.
ONE LOOK IN HER EYES
AND THOSE SEXY, FULL LIPS...
WELL, MAYBE A QUICK HELLO.
KENNY, KENNY, WAIT!
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE
YOU SHOULDN'T GO DOWN THERE.
WELL, WHAT ELSE AM I
GOING TO DO? ALL RIGHT, UH...
GO HOME.
I'LL GO DOWN AND
TALK TO HER FOR YOU.
WOW, YOU'D REALLY DO THAT?
THANKS, DOC!
OH, WELL, YES, YES, OF
COURSE. YEAH, ALL RIGHT, OK, OFF.
ALL RIGHT, SO, UH, WHAT NAME DID
YOU MAKE THE RESERVATION UNDER?
KENNY DALY.
WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?
THEY KNOW ME THERE. I
WANTED A GOOD TABLE.
ALL RIGHT.
[people chattering]
EXCUSE ME. ARE YOU JANIS?
YES.
THE JANIS WHO'S
MEETING KENNY DALY?
YES. IS THERE A PROBLEM?
JUST ONE. I'M HIS WIFE!
OH, MY GOD. HE DIDN'T
TELL ME HE WAS MARRIED.
WHY AM I NOT SURPRISED?
OH, I AM SO SORRY.
OH, NO, YOU MUST HAVE HEARD MY
MESSAGE ON YOUR ANSWERING MACHINE.
YEAH.
AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION KENNY'S
EYES ARE BROWN, NOT HAZELICIOUS.
UH, EXCUSE ME.
COULD YOU PLEASE TAKE THIS?
YES, MA'AM.
[sighing]
EXCUSE ME.
ARE YOU MEETING KENNY DALY?
YOU BET I AM.
WELL, I'M FRASIER CRANE.
YES, I KNOW.
OH, THANK YOU. IT'S ALWAYS
NICE TO MEET A FAN. UH...
ANYWAY, I'M AFRAID I HAVE A
BIT OF BAD NEWS. YOU SEE, UH,
KENNY WON'T BE
MAKING IT TONIGHT.
WHY NOT?
WELL, UH,
THERE'S SOMETHING YOU
SHOULD KNOW ABOUT KENNY.
UH, JANIS, ISN'T IT?
UH, YES, JANIS.
YOU SEE, UH, KENNY'S MARRIED.
REALLY? YES.
HE WANTED TO COME
DOWN AND TELL YOU HIMSELF
BUT I... I INSISTED
THAT I COME INSTEAD.
YOU SEE, HE FINDS
YOU SO ATTRACTIVE
THAT HE CAN'T CONTROL
HIMSELF AROUND YOU.
IS THAT RIGHT? YES.
IN FACT, I... I PRACTICALLY HAD TO
WRESTLE HIM AWAY FROM THE DOOR.
[sobbing] OH, GOSH!
I DON'T BELIEVE THIS.
JANIS, LISTEN TO...
THERE'S NO NEED TO CRY.
YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
OTHER FISH IN THE SEA.
AND CERTAINLY A WOMAN AS
BEAUTIFUL AS YOU COULD HAVE HER PICK.
OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY THAT.
NO, NO, IT'S TRUE.
ARE YOU READY TO ORDER?
OH, WE AREN'T STAYING.
[stuttering] JUST
HANG ON A SECOND.
UH, JANIS, LISTEN,
UM, I'M FREE TONIGHT.
UH, WHAT DO YOU
SAY I BUY YOU DINNER?
OH, I DON'T KNOW.
OH, COME ON. YOU DESERVE
TO HAVE A NICE EVENING.
WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN
OUT IN A LONG TIME.
[chuckling] WELL, YOU
SEE, THERE YOU GO.
YOU KNOW, THEY HAPPEN TO MAKE
A SUMPTUOUS CREME BRULEE HERE.
[chuckling] REALLY?
WELL, WHY THE HELL NOT?
[both chuckling]
[keys jingling]
[door opening]
(Niles) THERE WE GO. THANK YOU.
OH...
OH! THANK YOU.
I'LL JUST PUT THIS
IN THE FRIDGE. YEAH.
THAT SURE WAS A
SNOOTY RESTAURANT.
THE WAITRESS'S EYEBROWS
NEARLY HIT THE CEILING
WHEN I ASKED FOR A DOGGY BAG.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT
HER PROBLEM WAS.
THE PEOPLE AT THE NEXT TABLE
BARELY TOUCHED THIS PORK CHOP.
[Daphne exclaiming]
DAPHNE?
[moaning]
WHAT HAPPENED?
I STEPPED ON EDDIE'S CHEW
TOY AND TWISTED MY ANKLE.
OH. I DON'T THINK I CAN GET UP.
OH, HERE, HERE, HERE.
LET ME HELP YOU. THERE. OH.
ALL RIGHT, HERE WE GO. READY?
[grunting]
DAMN THESE WEAK SHANKS.
[grunting] OH, IT'S NOT YOU.
IT'S ME. OH, DON'T BE SILLY.
YOU'RE LIGHT AS A FEATHER.
OH, NILES, LOOK AT ME!
I'M A TUB!
DARLING, NO. YOU... YOU MIGHT
BE PERHAPS A LITTLE BIT STURDIER
BUT I LOVE YOU NO
MATTER WHAT YOUR SIZE.
WE NEED TO CREATE SOME
SORT OF FULCRUM. UM...
I'VE SPENT WEEKS
WATCHING MYSELF EXPAND.
I JUST KEPT HOPING IT
WOULD GO AWAY BY ITSELF.
WELL, I'M SURE ALL THOSE
SWEETS AND... AND LAVISH DINNERS
I'VE HEAPED ON YOU
HAVEN'T HELPED. OH.
IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.
I JUST NEED TO DEVELOP
SOME WILLPOWER.
I'LL HELP YOU.
WE'LL... WE'LL COMMIT TO A
PROGRAM OF... OF HEALTHY EATING
AND... AND EXERCISE.
TOGETHER, THERE'S
NOTHING WE CAN'T...
[grunting]
MAYBE IF I THROW A
ROPE OVER THAT BEAM.
WHAT HAPPENED?
OH, DAPHNE TRIPPED
ON SOMETHING AND FELL.
WHERE'S EDDIE?
OH, MY GOD! EDDIE!
EDDIE!
[sighing]
OH, THERE HE IS.
I... I THOUGHT MAYBE HE
RAN AWAY OR SOMETHING.
[moaning]
OH, DARLING, LOOK AT THAT. YOUR
ANKLE'S SWELLING UP ALREADY.
IT'S THE OTHER ONE!
COME HERE, COME HERE.
HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU A HAND.
YEAH, AND NO CRACKS, OLD MAN.
I KNOW I'VE GOTTEN HEAVY AND I'VE
RESOLVED TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
ALL RIGHT, NOW. ON 3.
1, 2...
[all grunting]
MAYBE THE SUPER
HAS A HAND TRUCK.
[crying]
KILL ME!
GOOD LORD. WHAT HAPPENED?
DAPHNE TWISTED
HER ANKLE AND FELL.
UH, UH, COME HELP US LIFT HER.
OH, OK, BOYS, NOW, BE CAREFUL.
USE YOUR LEGS. COME ON, DAPH.
USE YOUR LEGS. ALL
RIGHT. COME ON. COME ON.
THERE WE GO. OK.
OH, BLOODY HELL! I'M
WEARING 2 DIFFERENT SHOES!
[doorbell ringing] YES, UH...
(Niles) WE'LL GET
YOU TO YOUR ROOM.
IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT'S
OK. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.
DAPHNE, I JUST THOUGHT
OF SOMETHING FUNNY.
IT TOOK 3 CRANES TO LIFT YOU.
KENNY, I THOUGHT
YOU LEFT HOURS AGO.
I TRIED TO, BUT I KEPT
CIRCLING THE BLOCK.
I... I COULDN'T GO HOME TILL I KNEW
EVERYTHING WAS TAKEN CARE OF.
REST ASSURED, YOU'RE OFF
THE HOOK. OH, THANKS, DOC.
HOW DID JANIS TAKE IT?
YOU KNOW, I MUST SAY SHE
WAS RATHER ATTACHED TO YOU,
BUT, UH, I CONVINCED HER
IT WAS TIME TO MOVE ON.
YOU'RE SURE SHE'S OVER ME?
BECAUSE ONCE I GET UNDER A LADY'S SKIN,
I'M LIKE A SPLINTER.
I'M POSITIVE.
UH, LISTEN, UH,
KENNY, A-ABOUT JANIS,
UM, SOMETHING
I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU.
YOU SEE, WE SORT OF HIT IT OFF.
I MADE PLANS TO SEE HER
AGAIN. UH, IS THAT OK WITH YOU?
ARE YOU KIDDING?
ANYTHING FOR THE GUY
WHO SAVED MY MARRIAGE.
I ONLY HOPE THIS WOMAN
MAKES YOU AS HAPPY
AS MY WIFE MAKES ME.
[both exclaiming]
YEAH, OK, LET'S SAVE A LITTLE
FOR THE LADIES, SHALL WE?
[laughing] DOC.
[door opening]
OH, DAPHNE. LISTEN, MY DATE
WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND
AND, UH, I CAN'T SEEM TO
FIND THE WATER CRACKERS.
OH, BLAME YOUR BROTHER.
HE CLEARED THE KITCHEN OF ANYTHING
WITH ANY SUGAR, FAT, OR FLAVOR.
AH, WELL, YOU KNOW,
I MUST SAY, DAPHNE,
I'VE ADMIRED YOUR
RESOLVE THE PAST FEW DAYS.
OH, THANK YOU, DR. CRANE.
[moaning]
[doorbell ringing]
BLOODY HELL.
HI, NILES. HELLO, DAPHNE.
OOH, WHAT'S THAT?
HERE IT IS, THE
BODY SCULPTOR 100.
GUARANTEED TO WORK 12
MUSCLE GROUPS ALL AT ONCE.
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE GETTING THE 300.
I COULDN'T LIFT IT.
SHOULD WE SET IT
UP IN YOUR ROOM?
GREAT. RIGHT BEHIND YOU.
[doorbell ringing]
AH, DAPHNE. YES.
OH, KENNY?
SORRY TO BARGE IN ON YOU. I
DIDN'T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO TURN.
I THINK MY WIFE'S
HAVING AN AFFAIR.
OH, NOW, KENNY,
JUST TRY TO CALM DOWN.
ISN'T IT ENTIRELY POSSIBLE THAT BECAUSE
YOU WERE THINKING OF CHEATING YOURSELF
THAT YOU'RE JUST PROJECTING
YOUR GUILT ON TO HER?
NO, NO, DOC, SHE'S BEEN
ACTING ALL WEIRD LATELY.
AND TONIGHT SHE
WENT TO A P.T.A. MEETING
WITH HER WONDER BRA
JACKED UP TO HER CHIN.
[doorbell ringing]
GOOD LORD, THAT'LL BE
JANIS. WE HAVE A DATE.
OH, NO, I DON'T WANT TO SEE HER.
THAT MIGHT BE A LITTLE AWKWARD.
RIGHT, RIGHT. OK,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU WAIT IN MY BEDROOM?
IT'S RIGHT DOWN THE HALL THERE,
AND, UH, I'LL SEND
HER TO THE KITCHEN
AND COME AND GET YOU
WHEN THE COAST IS CLEAR.
OH, JANIS, COME ON IN.
HERE, LET ME TAKE YOUR COAT. OH.
WELL, GOSH, YOU LOOK LOVELY.
OH, THANK YOU.
OH, WHAT A NICE PLACE.
I'M NOT USED TO A MAN
WITH SUCH GOOD TASTE.
OH, I'M SURE THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH, IT IS. IT IS.
JANIS, IF... IF
YOU'LL FORGIVE ME,
I... I HAVE SOMETHING I NEED TO
TAKE CARE OF IN THE OTHER ROOM.
UH, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
WHY DON'T YOU HEAD TO THE
KITCHEN AND SELECT A WINE?
OH, I WOULDN'T
KNOW WHAT TO PICK.
WELL, ALL RIGHT. ON THE
COUNTER YOU'LL FIND MY WINE LOG.
JUST SELECT SOMETHING
FROM "FRASIER'S FAVORITES."
[laughing] OK.
ALL RIGHT, KENNY, JANIS IS IN
THE KITCHEN. YOU'RE FREE TO GO.
GO WHERE? TO AN EMPTY HOUSE?
AN ALL-NIGHT MOVIE?
JUST WALK THE STREETS?
ALL THOSE SOUND GOOD.
I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
I'M GONNA CALL HER CELL PHONE.
I'LL... I'LL TELL HER I LOVE HER
AND DEMAND SHE COME HOME.
INSTEAD OF CRYING
ON YOUR SHOULDER
IT'S TIME I STARTED ACTING
LIKE A MAN. GOOD FOR YOU.
CAN YOU DIAL FOR ME?
MY HANDS ARE SWEATY.
[panting]
OH.
MMM.
OH.
(Niles) DAPHNE!
DAPHNE, I FIXED THE
EXERCISE MACHINE.
TURNS OUT YOU
DIDN'T BEND THE FRAME,
YOU JUST POPPED
ONE OF THE SPRINGS.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DR. CRANE INSISTED I DUST ALL
KNICK-KNACKS BEFORE GOING OUT.
(Frasier) OH, HELLO, NILES.
GOOD GOD, MAN. JUST
BECAUSE DAPHNE LIVES HERE,
DOESN'T MEAN SHE'S AT YOUR
BECK AND CALL 24 HOURS A DAY.
AS SOON AS WE
FINISH OUR OBLIQUES
WE'RE OUT OF HERE
WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT!
TYRANT.
JANIS?
KENNY, I'LL HAVE
TO CALL YOU BACK.
HI, HAVE YOU SELECTED A WINE?
UH, FRASIER, I'M BEGINNING
TO HAVE SECOND THOUGHTS
ABOUT THIS DATE.
IT'S ABOUT KENNY.
OH, LORD, YOU'RE STILL
THINKING ABOUT HIM.
LISTEN, I KNOW KENNY.
I LIKE KENNY. BUT HE'S MARRIED.
WELL, I KNOW, BUT... AND YET,
HE LEFT HIS LOVING
WIFE AND FAMILY AT HOME
SO HE COULD GO
TROLLING BARS FOR WOMEN.
MAY-MAYBE HE REGRETS THAT.
OH, YEAH, SURE.
MEN ALWAYS CHANGE.
ARE YOU SAYING I
CAN'T TRUST HIM?
NO.
I'M SAYING THAT
YOU DESERVE A MAN
WHO THINKS YOU'RE
AS SPECIAL AS I DO.
[gasps]
YOU ARE VERY PERSUASIVE.
OH. NOW IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I WILL BE BACK IN ONE MOMENT.
[chuckling] ALL RIGHT.
DAD, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO
CLEAR OUT TONIGHT. I'VE GOT A DATE.
DOC, I NEED YOU IN THE BEDROOM.
PRETTY.
VERY FUNNY.
OH, I'M JUST GOING TO
TAKE EDDIE FOR A WALK
AND THEN I'LL BEAT IT ON OVER
TO McGINTY'S, ALL RIGHT? RIGHT.
DAD, FOR GOD'S SAKES.
HOW MANY TIMES DO
I HAVE TO TELL YOU?
MY CHIHULY IS NOT A TRASH CAN.
ALL RIGHT, KENNY, TIME TO GO.
LOOK AT HER.
HOW DID I EVER LET A WOMAN LIKE
THIS GET AWAY? I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.
LET ME WORK UP SOME PRELIMINARY
THOUGHTS OVER THE WEEKEND.
(Kenny) LOOK AT THIS ONE.
IT'S HER AT THE GRAND CANYON.
I ASK YOU, WHICH ONE IS
THE TRUE NATURAL WONDER?
OH, MY GOD.
YEAH,
THOSE WERE THE
BREAST-FEEDING MONTHS.
GOOD TIMES.
[doorbell ringing]
HEY, DAPHNE. HEY,
ROZ, COME ON IN.
OH, I CAN'T STAY, I
JUST BROUGHT YOU
THAT LOW-FAT COOKBOOK I
WAS TELLING YOU ABOUT. OH.
YOU LOOK NICE.
OH, THANKS. I'M GOING
TO A CLUB TONIGHT.
I GOT THIS NEW PERFUME THAT'S
JUST LOADED WITH PHEROMONES.
WHAT ARE THOSE?
I DON'T KNOW. SOME HORMONE THAT'S
SUPPOSED TO GET A GUY ALL EXCITED.
[laughing]
YOU REALLY THINK IT WILL WORK?
IT'S WORTH A TRY.
AFTER ALL, IT IS APPROVED BY THE
FOOD AND LOVE ADMINISTRATION.
CHECK IT OUT.
[sniffing]
I DON'T SMELL ANYTHING.
REALLY? YEAH.
MAYBE I SHOULD PUT SOME MORE ON.
DO YOU MIND? NO, GO AHEAD.
WHAT KIND OF PERSON GOES
OUT WITH ANOTHER MAN'S WIFE
AND TEARS A FAMILY APART?
I MEAN, THERE ARE
CHILDREN INVOLVED HERE.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN, LET'S NOT
GET OVERLY DRAMATIC, ALL RIGHT?
GOD, IF YOU'RE LISTENING, LET
ME HAVE VENGEANCE ON HIS SOUL!
I GOT TO GO.
NO, NO, NO, NO.
NO, NO, NO. LISTEN.
YOU'RE ONLY GOING
TO DO SOMETHING RASH.
TELL YOU WHAT, KENNY, I WANT
YOU TO, UH, LIE DOWN ON THE BED.
WHAT?
YES, YES, THIS IS A VERY EFFECTIVE
ANGER MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUE.
ALL RIGHT. ALL
RIGHT. THERE YOU GO.
JUST LEAN BACK, CLOSE YOUR EYES,
AND COUNT TO A HUNDRED
THOUSAND.
OH, FRASIER, I'M READY
FOR THAT WINE NOW.
YOU'RE KENNY'S WIFE.
OH, GOD.
HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?
WELL, HE'S IN MY BEDROOM.
WHAT? HE CAME HERE
ASKING FOR ADVICE.
HE THOUGHT YOU WERE CHEATING
ON HIM, WHICH YOU NEARLY WERE.
OH, I'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.
RIGHT, RIGHT. LISTEN,
WHY DID YOU LIE TO ME?
OH, I WAS ANGRY
AND... AND HURT AND MIXED UP
AND YOU WERE SO NICE TO ME. YES.
AND, I DON'T KNOW.
LISTEN, YOU'VE GOT TO
UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.
KENNY LOVES YOU.
YES, HE WAS ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE
BUT, PLEASE, YOU'VE GOT
TO FORGIVE HIM FOR THAT.
I MEAN, AFTER ALL, YOU
WERE ATTRACTED TO ME.
THAT WAS MORE REVENGE. AH.
WELL,
THAT'S NEITHER HERE NOR THERE.
ALL RIGHT, UH, LISTEN,
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
IT WAS NICE TO MEET YOU.
I... I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU
FOR MAKING AN ORDINARY
HOUSEWIFE FEEL SO...
(Kenny) HEY, DOC? OH, GOODBYE.
OH.
THAT ANGER MANAGEMENT'S
A LOAD OF CRAP.
KENNY, KENNY,
YOUR WIFE IS NOT
CHEATING ON YOU.
DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THAT.
UH, MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE
OF THE HUNDREDS OF PEOPLE
I'VE COUNSELED OVER THE YEARS.
MAYBE... MAYBE IT'S JUST A HUNCH.
I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST THAT...
YES, YOU TWO HAVE PROBLEMS,
BUT THEY'RE THE KIND OF
PROBLEMS THAT PEOPLE HAVE
WHEN THEY'VE BEEN IN A
RELATIONSHIP FOR A LONG TIME.
ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS TALK.
I WANT YOU TO GO HOME.
AND I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND YOUR
WIFE THERE WAITING FOR YOU.
I HOPE YOU'RE RIGHT.
THANKS, DOC. OH, ANY TIME.
THAT'S MY WIFE'S PURSE. HMM?
THAT'S NOT YOUR WIFE'S PURSE.
YES, IT IS. NO, IT'S NOT.
I KNOW MY WIFE'S PURSE. I
GOT IT FOR HER BIRTHDAY.
LOTS OF WOMEN CAN
HAVE THE SAME PURSE.
WELL, IF IT'S NOT HERS, WHY
DON'T YOU LET ME SEE IT?
KENNY,
I'VE GOT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.
UH, IT'S A LITTLE COMPLICATED
AND, UH, I'M SURE
THAT IN THE FUTURE
WE'LL ALL HAVE A GOOD
LAUGH OVER IT. UH...
IT'S JUST THAT, UH, WELL...
I DID NOT HAVE A DATE
WITH JANIS TONIGHT.
WELL, YOU HAD A
DATE WITH SOMEONE.
THE WINE, THE FIRE...
YES, YES, I... I DID HAVE A
DATE BUT IT WAS WITH, UH...
ROZ?
EXACTLY.
WHAT ARE YOU GUYS TALKING ABOUT?
[mumbling]
WOW, THAT STUFF REALLY WORKS.
MAYBE I SHOULD
WIPE SOME OF IT OFF.
RIGHT, UH, HERE,
TAKE YOUR PURSE.
WAIT, FRASIER, WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT? THIS ISN'T MY...
[moaning]
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.
[chuckling] YOU DOG.
OH, UH, BY THE WAY, DOC,
I OWE YOU SOME CHOCOLATES.
I GOT A LITTLE
HUNGRY IN YOUR ROOM.
I NOTICED THAT BOX
OF FANNY FARMERS
YOU GOT STUCK BETWEEN 2 BOOKS.
THANKS AGAIN.
[door closing]
I DON'T KEEP
CHOCOLATE IN MY ROOM.
ROZ! GET OUT HERE.
TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF!
WHO STASHED THE BOX OF
DOUGHNUTS BEHIND EDDIE'S DOG FOOD?
WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING. OK.
DAPHNE?
IS THERE SOMETHING
YOU WANT TO TELL ME?
I LOVE YOU.
ANYTHING ELSE?
I LOVE CHOCOLATE AND PASTRIES
AND... OH, GOD, I CAN'T STOP
EATING. I'M OUT OF CONTROL.
OH, OH, COME HERE,
COME HERE, COME HERE.
THAT'S ALL RIGHT, MY LOVE.
WE'RE GOING TO GET
YOU THROUGH THIS.
OF COURSE WE WILL, DAPH.
YOU KNOW, UH, THERE ARE
PROFESSIONALS WHO CAN HELP.
YEAH, THEY CAN
WIRE YOUR JAW SHUT,
STAPLE YOUR STOMACH,
PUT A BALLOON IN YOUR GUT.
THANK YOU, DAD.
I WAS REFERRING TO SOMETHING
MORE LIKE A SPA, ALL RIGHT?
ALTHOUGH YOU MIGHT
LOOK INTO THAT JAW THING.
DAPHNE, I... I... I THINK A
SPA'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.
THEY... THEY CAN
OVERSEE YOUR DIET
AND... AND PLAN YOUR EXERCISE
AND HELP YOU UNDERSTAND
WHY YOU'RE OVEREATING.
YES. MOST IMPORTANTLY, DAPH,
YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WE LOVE YOU,
OH. AND THAT YOU'RE NOT ALONE.
OH, THANK YOU.
ROZ. NO! YOU STAY RIGHT THERE.
I DON'T BLAME YOU,
I BLAME THE PEOPLE AT MANTASTIC.
[door closing]
(Frasier) ♪ HEY, BABY, I
HEAR THE BLUES A-CALLIN' ♪
♪ TOSSED SALADS
AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪
OH, MY.
♪ AND MAYBE I SEEM
A BIT CONFUSED ♪
♪ WELL, MAYBE, BUT
I GOT YOU PEGGED ♪
[laughing]
♪ BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO ♪
♪ WITH THOSE TOSSED
SALADS AND SCRAMBLED EGGS ♪
♪ THEY'RE CALLIN' AGAIN ♪
THANK YOU!