Franklin & Bash (2011–2014): Season 4, Episode 10 - Red or Black - full transcript

Where is he?

He wouldn't say... just that he wants you
to take the call in his office.

Strange. Huh.

If it were anyone else.

[Beep] Stanton!

Uh, boys, listen,
I've hit a slight snag in my plans,

and I could use your discretion
on a personal matter.

Okay. Well, you know you can trust us.

We got attorney/friend privilege.

Listen, I need you to remove

the color-field painting from my wall.



There's a safe.

Sir, do you want us to open it?

Is it still the same code
as all your other codes...

your birth date?

1948?

B.C.

Sir, how do we put in "B. C."?

Quiet!

Now, look, I need absolute silence.

[Vocalizing Beethoven's "Ode to joy"]

[Beep, click]

Whoa. Voice-activated.

- That's very cool.
- Very cool, sir.

Now, you should see a briefcase.



Got it.

Whatever you do, do not open the case.

I'll explain everything when you arrive.

Arrive?

Yes, I need you to bring the case locked

to the Desert Opal Casino at once.

Stanton, are you in trouble?

[Sighs]

It's a matter of life and death.

Oh, I-I trust you have no plans tonight.

Not anymore.

Good. See you soon.

Looks like we're heading to Vegas.

S04E10
Red or Black

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ Such a vivid picture ♪

♪ Ooh, what a mixture ♪

♪ If I must say so myself ♪

Let's open it.

Infeld said not to open it.

Well,
I don't want T.S.A. literally up my ass

if it's filled with meth or a human head.

Can't fit a human head in here.

You could if you chop it
up into a bunch of pieces.

Why would you chop a human
head into a bunch of pieces?

To fit into a briefcase.

Your T.S.A. thing doesn't even apply.

We're on the no-fly list.

Well, we can't drive
'cause you plowed into my truck.

Well,
if you hadn't parked it in the driveway...

I parked it in the driveway!

That's where you park cars. [Door opens]

Hey, what's up? Oh, what's in the case?

[Sighs] Couldn't say if we knew.

Wait a minute. Wait.
Dan, did you sell that car?

Buick Grand National,
V-6, 3.8-liter engine,

nitrous boosters... mm.

Wait, wait. Don't touch the case.

Look,
if you needed to give us a ride to Vegas...

How fast could you get us there?

Mm, the Strip is 276 miles away from here.

Factor in traffic... an hour and a half.

If I were to take yo. I don't go to Vegas.

Dan, you're gonna take us.

[Latches open]

Dude, no. No, no. No, no.

Infeld said we're not
supposed to look in there.

Stanton never told me that.

[Sighs]

Whoa.

Wow. How much is that?

150 large at least.

Oh, man.

- We got to get this to Stanton.
- Yeah.

I'll gas up the dragon,
hook up the police scanners.

I'll be back here in 25 minutes.

Okay.

I don't want to hide my feelings

when we're together in the office anymore.

I-I feel the same way.

So, before we start...
a more intimate relationship,

I want to make sure that
we're completely transparent

with our intentions.

Samantha: Well, given your history

of interoffice relationships, Mr. Karp,

we can't just [Clicks
tongue] rubber-stamp this.

[Chuckles]

Hanna and I managed a professional rapport

long after our breakup.

Um...
And the summer associate you slept with?

I wasn't counting her because
we met outside of work.

Oh.

Rachel King.

All right, you got me. Mm, mm.

Y-you know, w-which is why we're here.

- Oh. Mm-hmm.
- You know?

Yes, and I promise that I
will never exert my power

as a partner in this firm to
settle a personal dispute.

And I would never expect him

to diminish his authority over me

- just because we're dating.
- Mm.

The client will always come first.

Till death do us part.

The first of... many great firsts.

First date?

First kiss.

First... I'm cool with skipping

right to bathroom sex
if you're fine with it.

Okay, then.

Um,
once my department head signs off on this,

you'll be clear to go.

- How long does that take?
- How does that... it's gonna...

Oh, no more than a week.

- Okay.
- Oh.

Like, a business week, like five days?

Well, I mean, tack on a couple days,

- you know, just for filing.
- Oh, so there's...

Hey.

Uh, you're gonna have to find
someone else to work on Donaldson.

Something's come up.

Oh. Okay.

- All right.
- Oh, wait. Uh, one more thing.

I got a call from John Resig at the Chive.

Is that, like, a cooking magazine?

No, it's, like,
the coolest website there is.

It's, like,
hot women and really funny and smart.

Why are they calling you?

I don't know.
Maybe they're looking to hire.

First, we lose hottest lawyer to Anita,

and now they're calling you.

T-this is sexist.

Mm, yes. That's what that is.

[Sighs] So, how is your little...

lawyer hottie?

Is it "Bonnie"? It's "Bonnie," right?

I'm sorry... Bonnie... Bonnie who?

Oh, come on. Stop it.

She seems sweet.

You could use sweet.

She is nice.

I threatened to kill you on our first date.
[Chuckles]

Well, murder threat aside,
it was a fun date.

- Lots of laughs.
- Lots of sex.

[Inhales sharply]

Anyway...

you deserve normal.

So do you.

So, where are you going?

Uh, believe it or not, it's kind of...
Top-secret.

- Top-secret?
- Yeah.

Oh. Okay. Business or personal?

I wish I could say.

I got to go.

♪ L-a-s v-e-g-a-s ♪

♪ Spells "Vegas" ♪

♪ A town where you are
sure to have a ball ♪

♪ A city that's as cool as it is hot ♪

[Tires screech] ♪ that's Vegas ♪

[Laughs] ♪ a place of bets ♪

- [Laughing] Oh, man.
- Valet: Good evening.

Welcome to the desert Opal.
Will you be staying with us?

- You know it.
- Uh, name, sir?

Mundy... Dan Mundy.

Whoo, Dan! Strong driving!

Strong drive, brother!

- Welcome back, sir.
- Ah, it's the first time.

You probably have me
confused with Hugh Jackman.

He has never been
confused for Hugh Jackman.

- It happens almost every day.
- Never.

- Can I help you with th...
- No, no, that's okay.

Thanks. Okay. W... no, I got it.
I-I got it!

- Wow.
- [Chuckling] Sorry.

It's just, uh, my Uncle's eyes are in here.

Yeah, Uncle Bart. Uncle Bart loved Vegas.

- Loved the way it, uh, you know, looked.
- It looked.

Nice ride. Is that a two-way LSD?

You know your slip differential.
I like that.

You want to take a look under the hood?

Yeah. Let's go.

Vegas, baby.

Vegas.

Ah.

Well,
you've made it out here in impressive time.

Okay,
you really need to tell us what's going on.

Mm.

Let me show you our suite first.

[All chuckle]

- What?
- Oh!

Look at this.

[Laughter]

- Nice, huh?
- Wow. Yeah.

Knock-knock!

Oh. Peter, Jared, meet Roland Stray.

He runs things around here.

Any friend of Stanton's... [Chuckles]

Oh, and anything... you need.

- Does it have to be legal?
- No, he said "anything."

24 hours a day, call me,

either here or anywhere in town, okay?

Gentlemen, I'm gonna leave you alone.

Oh, by the way, the Opal is part

of the Silver Ridge Investment Group.

We own casinos all over Vegas,
so check them out. Have fun.

Uh, Roland, that guitar when
you first walk in the lobby

on top of the, uh, big slot machine?

Good eye.

That's the very guitar Elvis played in
"Viva Las Vegas."

1959 Gibson ES-350-T.

I was just wondering if I could
play it just for a minute.

No, sorry... you see, it's the grand prize

only if you hit the jackpot in Colossus.

So not anything. [Chuckles]

Right.

Roland, thank you... for everything.

Mm. [Door closes]

Sir.

Okay, what's going on?

You said it was a matter of life or death.

Uh, what do you need $150,000 in cash for?

You looked?

- Well... Mundy opened it.
- He opened it.

So you looked.

- Peter looked. I told him not to.
- He totally did.

He... I glimpsed. He stared. I told
him not to, and he kept looking at it.

These cuff links have
been in the Infeld family

dating back to the war of the roses.

Life-or-death cuff links?

I intend to be buried in them.

Boys, 48 hours from now...

I will be dead.

- Jared: Mad cow?
- Stanton: No.

- Scurvy?
- No.

I don't have rabies, mad cow, or scurvy.

Thought it was mad cow.

However, my condition,
regrettably, is terminal.

On my ninth birthday,
my father arranged a meeting

with the family mystic, Bahkti Eknath.

His gift to me was...

my destiny.

My ninth birthday, all I got was

the Millennium Falcon
with the stowaway bay.

I got a glimpse of my future.

The great seer told me
that I would pursue justice

and fight honorably for
the rights of the depraved

and that one day,
I would kill a confidant on a mountaintop.

Hold up, sir.
He said that you would become an attorney?

He specifically said

you would murder your
friend on Mount McKinley?

Well, the visions that he presented, uh,

were a little more abstract.

Now, tell me this...

do you believe in fate?

I'm more of a
"make your own destiny" kind of guy.

Yeah, normally, but, Stanton, come on.

In Bahkti's final revelation,

he foresaw my death in the city of sin

in my 66th year...

at the mercy of a noble fish.

Okay. Let me get this straight.

We raced here from Los Angeles

because a fortune-teller told you

that you were gonna be murdered
by a fish in Las Vegas?

I-I didn't expect you to understand.

Oh, Stanton, your... your mystic visions

were just coincidences.

Bahkti consulted many
generations of Infelds.

I mean, for instance,

he predicted the fiery
death of my Uncle Gregory

in the 1935 Le Mans 24-hour race,

and he prevented my mother
from boarding a ferry

that sank in the english channel.

- Oh, we seriously thought you were dying.
- [Sighing] Yeah.

[Chuckles] Well...

Yeah, you're right. I-I'm sorry.

It... it's probably nothing.

Sorry for the scare.

Please, allow me...

to make it up to you.

What? Wait a minute.
You're giving us the $150,000?

On one condition.

Oh, boy. What?

That you live tonight as if
you'll never see tomorrow.

[Scoffs] Okay.

Oh. Yeah. Right.

[Knock on door]

Hi.

I just met with a client

who's being sued for
copyright infringement.

We should do it together.

You want me to second-chair your case?

Uh, uh, not as your boss... as your...

[Stammers]

The guy you're seeing, whatever...

just to show H.R. that we're able

to keep our personal
feelings out of the office.

Well, I had the exact same thought

when I was meeting with
my client yesterday.

Me second-chair for you?

Problem?

No. Not at all.

He's an artist who wants
to stop his ex-girlfriend

from selling his work
without his permission.

Hang on.

An erotic artist?

[Laughing] Oh, God.

You're representing Mikah Rowe,

the woman that is selling
my client's sculpture

as a line of female massagers?

The flynnt stick. [Chuckles]

Well, we have to choose one over the other.

Mm.

It's kind of like a pervy
"Sophie's choice."

If you're being judgy.

We should take your case.

No. I'd rather not abuse my power.

Let's go with your client.

I'd rather you not do me any favors.

I insist.

So you're ordering me?

No, I'm being fair.

In order to be totally ethical,

I think we should just
let our clients decide.

Whatever you want.

I mean, under due consideration,
I agree with this.

Indeed.

- Oh, come on!
- Oh, Dan, that's too bad.

All right, hit me.

Dealer: 21.

Oh! There you go! I love this town!
There you go. Nice. Well done.

Excuse me. Can I get a White
Russian and a beer, please?

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Okay, hit me... small.

Make it small, make it
small, make it small! Yes!

- 21.
- Oh, that's small enough!

That'll work. There you go.
Look at that. Nice.

Dealer has 15.

- Dealer busts.
- Yeah!

Way to go!

Let it ride, let it ride. Trust me.

- Let it ride.
- Let it ride.

[Laughter] Just keeps going!

Come to daddy! Oh!

- You're home.
- Live here.

I'll treat you well.

This is actually pretty easy.

And one vodka banana
smoothie with sriracha.

[Sighs] My favorite.

You didn't even order that.

But we did like 20 minutes ago...

t-the White Russian and the beer. The beer.

And we've got somebody working
on cirque tickets for you, sir.

- Oh, thank you so much.
- Oh.

[Scoffs]

It's the jacket.

Okay, let's keep the streak going.

Let's go. Let's go.

Oh, look at this! Oh, look at that!

[Cheers and applause]

It's him.

Oh!

Yeah! [Laughs]

Whoo!

[Cheers and applause] Nice job!

[Indistinct talking]

Don't let me down! Oh!

[Cheers and applause]

Oh-oh! Cool him down. Cool him down.

Oh! [Laughs] Another right here!

[Cheers and applause]

♪ Get off your knees, baby ♪

Come on, hit me, hit me!

♪ you've got fire ♪

Dealer: Dealer wins.

[All groan]

Oh! [Cheers and applause]

[Both shout]

[Cheers and applause]

Boom!

Oh, my God! I won the guitar!

[Laughing] Yeah!

- Hey!
- [Sighs] Hey.

Hey.

Anita,
you just [Sighs] taking off for the night?

Yes.

That's good. Good, good, good.

So, I guess Franklin had some
business out of town, huh?

Yeah, that's what I hear.

Yeah, he said it was all top-secret.

You know anything about it?

Dan Mundy said it was personal...
need-to-know.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Personal.

Just said, "Jared's going to Vegas."

- Vegas?
- Yeah.

[Elevator bell dings]
Vegas. [Chuckles]

With Peter.

[Chuckles]

Hey,
do you think they'll finally get married?

Oh, right.

[Laughing]

It's... okay.

This is the best night ever! [Laughs]

- It's perfect!
- What are you up?

Well, I lost count after $400,000!

[Laughs] I didn't even
know they made black chips.

Dan, what are you up to?

- I lost everything... 2 grand.
- What?!

- Hey, we got you covered, okay?
- Thanks.

- Peter: Roland!
- Jared: Roland!

- Where you been, man?
- Well, duty called.

Oh, you know who's been calling us?

Lady luck!

Lady luck! Really?

Gentlemen, may I ask you to
kindly join me in the blue room?

We're okay.

- Dan, don't be rude.
- Yeah.

What is the blue room?

Well, it's where we let our high rollers

count their chips more, um, comfortably.

- Yeah!
- The blue room it is!

- Okay, let's do it!
- Lead the way.

Come on. Roland, we brought in Buddy Holly.

[Laughter]

Uh, Roland, your room seems to
be seriously lacking in blue.

This must be a mistake.

The only mistake is the one you made...

stealing from this casino.
[Snaps fingers]

What? We won. You saw us.

What I saw was a felony...

cheating at Blackjack.

What?

If I were you, I'd call my lawyer.

That's funny.
I was gonna say the same thing to you.

We got it on tape.
It's called the Wong Method.

Does he mean "wrong"?

I'm not weally sure.

One guy sits next to his
partners at the table,

counts cards, bets small,
then takes their bust cards,

setting up the big betters...
like you two... to win.

Isn't that right?

I was trained

in counter-interrogation
technique at Quantico.

You're not gonna break me.

Easy, Dan.

You want to break it? Let's go.

Okay, Dan,
no one's gonna break anyone's hands.

Right?

- Good evening, gentlemen.
- Stanton.

[Door closes] They're saying
that we were counting cards.

Are you arresting these three?

The police are on their way.

- I have a favor to ask.
- Mm-hmm.

I'm going to be going away tomorrow

for let's just say a very long time.

Stanton...

I'd really appreciate it if we could get

the wheels of justice moving
with a little more alacrity.

Could we fast-track this case,

get it on the calendar for, say, tomorrow?

Why not? We got all the evidence we need.

[Snaps fingers] Thank you.
Appreciate that.

Wait.
Why are you taking... that's my guitar!

We're confiscating it,
along with the rest of your winnings.

Stanton: Oh, by the way,
that's the last time

I want you speaking to these three.

They're now represented by counsel...

me.

[Ringing]

Woman: Bonnie Appel's office.

Uh, yes. Hello.
This is, uh, Craig's Restaurant on Melrose.

I was calling to confirm

Bonnie's dinner reservation for tonight.

Uh, Bonnie doesn't have a dinner with you.

She's out of town until Friday.

Out of town? Uh, I see.

Did she m-mention anything about Las Vegas?

I'm sorry. I can't tell you that.

Fine.

You can just...
Tell Miss Appel when she returns

that she is no longer
welcome in our establishment.

or any restaurant in Los Angeles.

Excuse me? [Beep]

Stanton, what do you mean

you'll be going away for a very long time?

It's nothing.

Uh, Dan, would you mind giving me a minute

with Jared and Peter... alone?

- Sure. I'll go hit the craps table.
- Craps?

Jared: No, no, no. No, Dan, come on.

Just stand over there. Sure.

[Sighs] Sure.

Boys, listen, well,
I haven't been completely honest with you.

The Blood & Sand Society
have graciously invited me

to their 12th annual dinner.

And the featured menu item
tomorrow is fugu fish.

Now, if it's not prepared properly,

the fugu's poison can cause a slow,
excruciating death.

Killing you at the mercy of a noble fish.

- As written by Bahkti Eknath.
- Oh, come on!

- Stanton, this is ridiculous.
- This is ridiculous.

Stanton,
you're being duped by a cold reader.

They use body language
to form educated guesses.

A g-guess that I've made
love to Linda Ronstadt

or was invited to a dinner party

where they're serving a deadly fish?

Bahkti... he predicted all that.

Listen.

Here. Look at that, eh?

"To be opened on the eve of your death."

Right. The postmark... is my 10th birthday.

So, come on, now.

Once and for all,

let's see if Bahkti is the
fraud that you say he is.

"Two godlike figures

"of sharp tongue and immortal charm

shall voyage to the desert
in the belly of a dragon..."

What?

"...to distract you from your destiny."

The dragon... that's...
Mundy's Grand National.

Yes!

- "Two godlike figures" are describing us.
- Mm-hmm.

Well, at least...
They're talking about one of us.

I'm sorry. Are you saying
you're more godlike than I am?

Let's not do this here. Keep reading.

What? What is it?!

You're gonna die.

Thank you.

Well,
would you help me pick out a sarcophagus?

Well, we're in a peculiar situation.

Because both of you want to
employ the services of our firm,

we're forced to put the
ball into your court.

So it's up to you to decide whether or not

Flynn will retain my services.

Or if Mikah will retain mine.

- I met with Anita first.
- Whatever!

You wouldn't have known
about this firm without me.

I was the one who told
him that you were the best

at intellectual property licensing.

I gave you Lancelot to enjoy
when I was away in Europe, okay?

Not to sell it as a marital aid.

You named your erotic sculpture "Lancelot"?

It's a perfect replica of my most...
powerful piece.

It's also the...
the perfect match to her, um...

- Lady Guinevere.
- Yeah.

Oh. So... so the...
t-the sculpture is, um, um...

- Self-portrait.
- Mm.

Well, it was my Valentine's day gift.

Y-you know what?

We are, uh, not at liberty to
discuss the facts of the case

until one of you decides
who will stay with the firm.

- I will.
- Me.

[Both scoff]

There is another way.

If we don't want to play this out in court,

Anita and I could mediate a
resolution for you both here.

Yes, so, Flynn, you would stay with me.

And, Mikah, I would remain your counsel.

So we would be separate attorneys

who aren't able to share information.

And we work together to find a settlement

that's beneficial for you both.

Don't look at me to back down.

Well, I'm not giving in!

I guess we'll take your offer.

I guess we will.

Okay. Well, the difficult part is done.

[Indistinct talking]

Eliazar Mundy.

Dan's a nickname.

Jared... Franklin.

Yo. Yeah. Yeah, we're all here, sir.

Uh, c-could you put us on second call?

We're just waiting for our lawyer.

Stanton Infeld.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

He came by my office an hour ago.

Interesting man. [Chuckles softly]

I bet you'd be surprised to know

that he invented the fly
striker fishing lure.

You'd lose that bet, sir.

[Laughs]

Anyway, he's not coming.

Really?

Oh, don't worry.

This is gonna go quick.

We're gonna give you a little
high-roller hospitality.

Well, thanks, partner,
but we've had enough high-roller treatment.

Plead guilty to disturbing the peace...

no jail time, no fine.

And then you just agree to
leave our city forthwith.

Those highway patrolmen over there...

all ready to drive you back to California.

Uh, we appreciate the hospitality.

Uh, let us just talk it over.

- Hmm.
- Bailiff: All rise!

The honorable judge
Selma Gladney presiding.

F.Y.I., neighbor...
you don't take the deal,

we'll be going for five years state prison.

[Chuckles]

Please be seated.

We have to take that deal, right?

No. We didn't cheat.

No jail time, no fine.

We take the deal and leave,
how are we gonna stop Stanton?

He wants us out of the way
so he can go through with the fug...

Yeah, we need to get the fugu out of here.

Well,
we are looking at five years in prison.

Or we let Infeld meet his destiny.

You guys are the lawyers.
I'll follow whatever you say.

I can't do well in prison.

Peter Bash, Jared Franklin, Eliazar Mundy,

please step forward.

Good afternoon.

- Good afternoon, your honor.
- Good afternoon, your honor.

I talked to the D.A. about
his more-than-generous offer.

Yes, yes, it's a very generous offer,
your honor.

I'd take it and run.

How do you all plead?

- Guilty.
- Both: Not guilty.

Not guilty.

What they said.

Jared: After all the times
Vegas has kicked our ass,

we finally win.

- They accuse us of cheating.
- We don't even know how to count cards.

- I don't know how to count cards.
- I do...

know how to count cards.

[Sighs]

Come again?

I watched you two play.

I figured you could use the Wong Method.

Don't blame me.

You got us arrested.

We totally blame you!

I told you I didn't want to come.

Dude, if you have a gambling problem,
you should've said...

it's not about gambling.
It's about systems.

[Sighs]

A couple years back, I was getting obsessed

with breaking down Blackjack,
cracking the formula.

So... I banned myself from a few casinos.

Banned yourself?

There was this
database you could put yourself on.

If casinos are on it,

they're not supposed to let you gamble.

Like a chastity belt for gamblers.
[Clears throat]

I never banned myself from the Desert Opal.

I really wanted to beat them... for you.

I'm sorry, guys.

You're not alone.

There's a lot of suckers out there.

Hypnotized into thinking
they're gonna hit it big.

Like we were.

You know, I say, for a change...

we make them the suckers.

So, I think we should get started.

Yep. I'll kick things off.

Actually, I'm sorry. Please... you go.

Thank you.

Even though I am a senior partner.

- No, please, after you.
- No, no, I insist.

S-someone? Anyone with a law degree?

Well, that would be you.

I apologize for my colleague.

Excuse me?

Mr. Logan,
will you please read the inscription

in the card that you gave Ms. Rowe

when you presented her with your... art?

"I give all of myself to you,
always and forever.

Happy Valentine's day. Love, Flynn."

Implied permission for Mikah to do

whatever she pleases with Sir Lancelot.

There's no "Sir," okay?
It's just "Lancelot."

And that... that's not what I meant.

Okay, is it my client's fault

that your client entered
a deal he regretted?

I'm just a little surprised

that you see greeting cards as contracts.

To be honest, Flynn...

Should've known what he was getting into.

That the person that he loved
would eventually turn on him?

How could Flynn have known that back then?

And if he did,
he would've ended it before it started.

We never had that option.

That's right,
because you can't go back to the beginning.

Or you would've ended it before it started?

So, since we're out of options
in how best to resolve this,

- see you in court.
- I'll see you in court.

Oh.

Excuse me.

The defendants have a motion

to dismiss the charges against them?

Yes, your honor.

The prosecution says we
cheated by counting cards.

Your honor, assuming for the
sake of argument, we did...

- Which we didn't.
- We didn't.

How is that different

from what the Desert Opal does
to its patrons every night?

You're accusing the Opal of cheating?

Every casino.

From pumping oxygen in
to keep gamblers awake

to plying people with free drinks.

No windows, no clocks,

constant near-misses at the slot machines

daring you just to take one more spin.

If the casino gets an edge,

why can't we level the playing field?

The defendants are arguing
against what makes Vegas Vegas.

If you rule for them,

anyone who's ever lost
is gonna file a lawsuit.

It'll put this town out of business.

Motion denied.

Caveat emptor, guys.

If you don't like cocktails or oxygen,
don't come to Vegas.

Your honor...

if you can rustle up some evidence

that showed me the Opal
specifically targeted you,

I'll reconsider.

We're in recess!

[Gavel bangs]

[Sighs]

Should we say something?

[Knocking] Mm.

How is it?

Well, actually... it's very nice.

I mean, it's [Tapping] made of soy resin,

which makes it environmentally friendly,

and the memory foam... oh!...

is fantastic on my back.

Oh, yes, I think I'm ready
to spend eternity in here.

This is depressing.

We've all got to die someday.

It's just that I'm gonna die today.

I'll write this up,

but can I ask you to get out of the coffin?

You're frightening the customers.

Listen...

Jay-Z wants to give my eulogy.

Please...
don't let him tell the Barbados story.

[Bells jingle]

[Sighs] Peter: Swatello?

[Breathing heavily] Where is she?

Where's who?

[Sighs] You know who...

your sweet [Sighs] girlfriend.

Bonnie? [Sighs]

She's back at...

Wait. How did you even know we were here?

Why is Infeld in a coffin?

Oh, God. I can't tell all this again.

Here... help me up.

- I've got a dinner to attend to.
- Yeah.

[Stanton grunts]

I thought you...

never mind.

I think if I hurry, I can, uh, catch...

"Zumanity."

So... [Chuckles nervously]

Wait!

Please, just, uh...

let me go.

[Indistinct talking]

Should've gone after her.

Yeah, why didn't you?

'Cause of Stanton and
his stupid killer fish.

Nah, it takes about 10 seconds

for you to tell someone how you feel.

- I think you chickened out.
- I did not chicken out.

Well, something's holding you back,
and it isn't me.

Okay, look, you're my best friend.

When the dust settles, is Swatello...
The one?

Right now, she's the one who got away.

I know she left, but...

Dude.

Oh, my God.

Oh, thank you very much.

Dan?

What are you doing?
Are you... are you okay?

Hey, guys. How you doing? Yeah, hit me.

Ah. You guys are bad luck, man.

How long have you been here?

I don't know, but I'm tapped out.

How'd you get tapped in?

$10,000 line of credit.

Damn it. [Sighs]

This is from the Golden Oasis.

I used to play there.

It's no problem, sir.
We accept Golden Oasis chips.

- You do?
- Yep.

[Laughs] No, Dan, you're done. Sorry.

Wait. Hold on one second.
This is my last hand.

My luck is about to change, I swear to you.

Jared: Yeah, no, it is.
Just go back to the room,

order whatever you want from room service.

No minibar, okay?

Well, where are you guys going?

Back to the blue room.

No pay-per-view, either.

Really?

All right.

Peter: Roland. So good to see you again.

Got to tell you, the blue room's
really starting to grow on me.

I want to stay here next time.

- It's a good color on you.
- Thank you.

What's on your mind?

You have [Sighs] 30 seconds.

Dan Mundy... the banana smoothies,

the Celine Dion CDs sent to the room,

getting to meet the Cirque du Soleil clown.

- I'm still jealous about that.
- Mm.

You know, Dan was on the self-ban list.

He wasn't banned from our casino.

Yeah, that's what we thought,
until one of your dealers

let Dan bet with this chip
from the Golden Oasis.

I'm sure we don't have to tell you,

but the Golden Oasis and the Desert Opal

are both owned by the Silver
Ridge Investment Group.

See that little silver coin on the chip?

I know what our chips look like.

You also knew who Dan Mundy
was the second he checked in.

How could you not

with 715 cameras tracking our every move?

So you just followed the cash
and targeted Dan to lose.

Which is really all the judge
asked us to come up with.

Huh. I'm starting to like our odds.

Yeah, so am I. What about you, Roland?

You ready to double-down?

- Where's your client?
- Late. Where's yours?

She's not answering my texts.

Oh, I can sympathize.

It's a really sophisticated power move,

ignoring your first-year associate.

Okay, so...
so now you want preferential treatment?

No, I just want you to act like an adult.

Uh, I am not the one who stomped
out of the room like a child.

No, no, no. Oh, you want to see stomping?

Oh, you will see it in court.

Oh, oh, that'll be...

- Oh, uh, hey!
- Mm. Hi.

I'm glad you're here.

Yes, we, uh, we need to get in there.

We don't want to keep the judge waiting.

Well, we're not here for court.

Yeah, after seeing you two this morning,

we realized our relationship is not

nearly as messed up as we thought it was.

[Sighs] Oh.

This morning, that was an anomaly.

Yeah, it wasn't...
It was an ephemeral event.

Yeah, well, we just decided

that we're gonna work out our differences.

Yeah... together.

Y-you're reconciling?

Well, you know, selling the Flynnt Stick

was my way of holding on to Flynn.

Never really wanted to let him go.

And I realized that...
that detaching my penis

just detached my heart
from our relationship.

Babe.

[Giggles]

Thank you so much for opening our eyes.

- Well...
- Yeah.

You're very welcome.

- Yeah.
- All right.

Bonne chance.

[Exhales slowly]

[Cellphones chime]

Oh, it's H.R.

- We've been approved to date.
- Yes, we have.

[Cellphone buzzing]

Peter is calling me.

[Buzzing continues] You want to...
take that?

I don't have to. It's Peter.
I don't have to take it.

No, y-you should take it.

I'm sure you have things
that you need to do.

- Yeah, I'm good. Oh, great.
- I'll just... I'll take it.

Okay.

I'm only answering 'cause
you never call me. What?

No... s-slow down.

Back up.

What...

Stanton? When?

No... what?

Okay, I'll be right there.

Man: Ladies and gentlemen,
dinner is served.

Bon appetit.

[Indistinct conversations]

[Jazz music playing]

[Chatter continues]

Uh, pardon me, gentlemen,
but this is a private affair.

- Jared: Uh, well...
- Yeah, actually...

Oh, uh, Calvin, it's all right.
They're friends of mine.

Please, just put it on my tab.

Isn't this like... 10-grand-a-plate dinner?

It's like 20, right? 20 grand.

Yes, well, where I'm going,

money is really of no consequence.

Listen, uh, I thought you two

were supposed to be in court today.

Oh, yeah.
We persuaded Roland to dismiss the charges.

And he gave back your original 150 grand.

Well.

Well, I must say, I'm really honored

to be leaving this blue marble
with you two at my side.

Sir, how do you know that this fish

is the last word in the book of Stanton?

Maybe there's another piece in the kitchen

with your name on it.

No. This fillet chose me.

Not you, Peter, not you, Jared... me.

And nothing can change that?

It appears I'm at the
mercy of this noble fish.

- We'll see about that.
- Wh...

- dude, what are you doing?
- Whoa! Dude!

Hey, what... what are you... what?!

[Muffled] I ate your destiny.

Wha... how are you feeling?

[Laughing] Fine!

I'm fine.

- See?
- See?

See? Bahkti... he was wrong.

Fate is what you make of it,
not just what comes your way.

You're alive.

Indeed, I am.

Excuse me, love. No, no, no, Stanton!

Jared: Whoa!

Mm. Mm.

All these years...

My stars have been misaligned.

[Sighs]

Excuse me. I need a drink from the bar.

Okay, I can't believe you just did that.

- I can't believe I did that.
- How are you feeling?

I don't know.
I think my tongue's starting to swell.

- What? Let me see.
- Yeah.

I-I'm starting to taste colors.

Oh, you're fine.

Well, Damien,
you didn't have to come all this way.

Peter and Jared said you were
gonna eat some crazy death fish.

[Chuckling] Oh. It was...
it was gonna be your last day on earth

because some swami, uh...

Oh, well.

I thought I was never gonna see you again.

I was freaking out.

Well, it's gonna take more than one arrow

to bring down this old buffalo.

Well, of course. You're Stanton Infeld.

Listen, would you care to join me

in getting absolutely squiffed?

I'm all-in.

- Salude.
- Salude.

Mm-hmm.

So, it's a bit unfortunate for you,
of course,

that I'm still alive

because I had it in my living trust

that you would inherit the firm.

It hurts me to remind you that, uh,

my taking over the firm was one of my terms

for coming back to Infeld-Daniels,

but, uh... it's a technicality.

You have no sense of the moment.

Wait! Stop!

I-is everything okay?

Yeah.

[Breathing heavily]

Fugu fish.

What?

For a second,

I thought Peter had been
poisoned by a fugu fish.

- Really?
- I gave him mouth-to-mouth.

You can't give
mouth-to-mouth for poisoning.

I know that.

Now.

You also shouldn't give mouth-to-mouth
for someone who's having a panic attack,

which is what Peter's having.

You thought I was marrying Bonnie?

Yep.

Well, you're the one who said
I belonged with her, not me.

I did, and that was a lie.

[Clears throat] I know
you think I'm an idiot.

No. [Sighs]

I actually think it makes
you kind of adorable.

Almost... lifelike.

Thanks.

So, anyway, uh...

What the hell's going on with Infeld?

No, no, come on. Let's...

[sighs]

Let's stay on us.

Okay, I just... I realize...

[Inhales deeply]

that I overestimated my contempt...
for you,

and I may, in fact, have feelings

that, when juxtaposed with hate,

could... could be perceived, uh, as...

Okay, I'm not gonna make you say it.

Look,
Peter and I came here to prove to Stanton

that there was no such thing as destiny,

but seeing how we both... ended up here,

I'm thinking maybe that's
not so crazy or random.

And...

My hatred for you has
been greatly exaggerated.

That's the sweetest thing
you've ever said to me.

That's really sad.

I want to make this work.

So do I.

[Inhales deeply]

But like adults.

Let's not get crazy.

[Chuckles]

[Slurring] I appreciate
you coming to see me, Damien.

It was very, very sweet of you.

[Slurring] I'm just glad you're okay.

Oh, I'm... I'm fine.

Now, listen, I-I have to tell you,

you've always been my favorite nephew.

I'm your only nephew.

You're my only family.

And I'm grateful for that.

Come on.

[Chuckles]

Great. [Chuckles]

All right. Ooh!

Oh, not so hard.

All right.

- You sleep well.
- Yeah.

[Grumbles]

[Door opens]

[Sighs, chuckles]

Dude! [Laughs]

- No way!
- [Laughing] Yeah.

Part of the settlement.

See? This is a great day.

[Cellphone ringing] Oh,
it can't get any better.

[Chuckles]

- That you?
- Yeah, it's me.

[Ringing continues]

John Resig from the Chive.

Get it.

Peter Bash.

Hey, John.

Seriously?

What? Wha... what?

[Sighs]

Yeah. Yes.

Dude, you're killing me. Come on.

Hey, John, let me talk to Jared, okay?

Can I call you back?

All right, thanks.

What is it?

John offered us a job as
legal counsel for the Chive.

Is that why they were contacting Swatello?
They were vetting us?

I don't know... he just said that we have

the perfect emotional
makeup for the company.

- Get out!
- Yeah.

That's a compliment, right?

I think so.

Dude! The chive!

It's amazing!

We'd have to move to Austin.

I thought they were in Venice.

He wants us in Austin.

We'd be working for someone else again.

Ah, no more suits and ties.

Maybe it's a pay cut.

We've never been about the money.

Till we had some.

Is this about swatello?

No, it...

Yeah, it's about Swatello.

I-it's about us getting to practice

the kind of law we love.

It's about a firm that
now has our name on it.

Look, you're the one who
talked me into going big-time.

Now I don't know if I want to
change it up every four years.

Just, I don't know if we can
stay in one place for too long.

Well...

I don't know. I think I can.

What are you saying?
You want me to do this alone?

No, I...

I don't know.

[Jazz version of "Ode to joy" plays]
Wait, wait, wait. Wait.

There's a reason

why everything is happening
on this night in this town.

I know, right?

Place your bets. Get your bets down.

All right, red, I go to the Chive,

black, we stay at the firm.

You sure?

I'm not sure about anything.

Ah.

[Inhales deeply, sighs]

Not today, o lord.

Not today.

[Coughing]

- Jared: There's got to be a better way.
- Dealer: No more bets.

[Laughing] Actually, for us,
there's no better way.

Wait, wait. Black is the Chive?

No, no, red is the Chive.
Black is the firm.

Red is the Chive, black is the firm.

[Groans angrily]

[Choking]

I love you, dude.

I love you, too.