Four More Shots Please (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode 4 - full transcript

We get stuck in the past.

Just because it's familiar.

We are so scared of
the future...

...that we prefer to live
in the past.

This is the way we
touch ourselves,

touch ourselves...
touch ourselves...

This is the way we
touch ourselves...

on a cold n' frosty
morning.

This is the way we
rub our clit,

rub our clit...

This is the way we
rub our clit...



on a cold...
-Grandma!

Now tell me, how is Varun?

He must be fine.

And I’m fine as well.

Thanks for asking.

We chat with each
other everyday.

Thank you Radha.

Come sweetheart...

...go and play there.

I'm so glad...

...that I brought
my tea leaves with me.

If you don't steep the leaves,

then you haven't tasted
real tea.

And your tea bags,



you know what's in them,
don't you?

Tea dust.

You've been telling me
this since I was a kid.

The first flush is really nice.

But the second flush,

that is the best!

By the way, you're beginning
to sound just like dad.

I've come here to
take a break...

...from your father
for a few days.

Really?

All okay?

Ever since he retired,

he's become a nuisance.

Now I'm his cook, valet, bearer,
gardener, everything.

Really, I need this holiday Anju.

And how long is this
holiday planned for?

It's my granddaughter's
fourth birthday.

How could I not be here!

Arya, I remember the day
you were born.

And Mama, do you?

Mama?

Mama was on Epidural.

She doesn't remember
a thing.

Why don't you also tell her that
mama didn't cry but her father did?

Such a sensitive, creative man.
-Ya...

Pooky aunty is very nice.

Pooky aunty?

Who is Pooky aunty?

Is she real or imaginary?

Real.

Papa's special friend.

Anju, really, this is your fault.

I agree.

Especially the way she
was conceived.

Yuck!

Smells like some cheap
bar in here.

Whose idea was it...

...to take me drinking
during happy hour!

Shut up!

It's not that bad!

Fuck.

Shit.

I think the condom broke.

Don't worry.

My periods got over
this morning.

Thank you universe.

Again...again...again

God!

How did we end up here!

I'm fucked!

Technically...

...that's how we ended
up here.

I told you not to use
those Thailand condoms.

You only told me to
buy it because...

...it has this dragon fruit
flavour on it.

I said 'Look it has
a vibrating ring...'

And the next thing
I know,

you bought it!

I don't even know if
I like them.

Condoms?

Babies.

Baby, most people don't
like babies.

Until they have their own.

Baby, most people like babies
till they have their own!

What if I'm not maternal?

C'mon now...

You are very maternal.

Very.

No seriously.

You take care of a
big baby like me right?

Everything will change.

Ya...

You'll have to quit drinking
wine for a year and a half.

What about my career?

I'm working so hard to become
a Senior Associate.

We'll share the load okay?

We'll get a maid.

I'll be at home
most of the time.

And that way I can
work on my script also.

Mama will go through
the roof in rage.

Ya!

Shit.

And your father is
going to kill you.

Okay, just see and tell me.

Okay, but before that,
will you marry me?

What?

Ms. Anjana Menon,

I want to have cheap beer,

cheap sex,

using cheap condoms
with you...

...for the rest of my life.

Marry me please...

You're mad.
I'm going to see it.

Fuck! I'm pregnant!

Oh shit!

We are pregnant!

What are you doing!

Okay listen...

...I won't change my name
after marriage.

Don't change anything
about yourself, my love.

Hello there...

I'm just showing off
in my sexy bikini...

...for all my friends out there.

Would you like to join me
on my couch?

Come baby...

Hello,
I'm your sexy maid.

Is that some dirt?

I'm going to clean you up
real good.

This Mohit is mad.

Wait till it's perfectly cooked.

Add a pinch of rosemary.

Siddhi!

Oh shit!

Mohit Bhatwal.

The hotelier?

He's in Massani Hospital
right now.

Is he dying?

Even better.

He's in rehab.

Sarika Shaikh?

She's gone to LA for
a film-making course right?

Wrong.

My friend, who's a doctor
at Sinai, told me...

...that she's trying to
buy out all of Silicon Valley.

Get it?

Akanksha.

Huh?

My team here is crime and
political reporters.

They don't do this sh...
-This 'sh**'...

...is what's going to put
money in their salary accounts.

A sting is a sting.

And a source is a source.

So get on with it.

Kyra Kapoor.

Is she pregnant or not?

I want exclusive pictures...

...that proves that
she's preggers.

Follow her, stalk her,
do whatever.

Who will do it?

Great!

Go!

Keep that tempo up.

Yes, good job.

Back straight.

Yes. C'mon,
let's go, let's go.

C’mon, c’mon.

Let's go.

Thirty-seven.

Good job, keep your
back straight.

I wanna see that sweat!
Give it everything.

Give it everything!
C'mon!

You’ve got to do work!

Push!

Shit. Shit. Shit!

It's okay, that was quite
an intense session.

No. It's not okay.

If this keeps up, injury
and pack up on the third day itself.

I mean, you don't understand,
this is my last chance.

But it's just crunches, Samara.
It's okay.

Look, everything matters.
Even a crunch.

What? What's so funny?

Sorry, I'm having a
fangirl moment.

Because my idol
Samara Kapoor...

...is sitting here and getting
upset over crunches.

As a trainer, this is the best
moment of my life.

So go on, keep laughing.

Okay, let's try another
technique.

The T.U.L. style.

T.U.L.?

The Umang Ludhiyanvi style.

Okay.
-Ya?

Okay!

Futhermucker!
Mothersmucker!

Futhermucker!
Mothersmucker!

Dickhead!

Dickhead!

Suck my balls!

Suck my balls!

Grandmama's vagina!

Grandmama's vagina!

Fuck my ass!

Fuck my ass!

Now that's more like it!

That was awesome.

You are amazing.

Whoo!

Seventy-two...

Sixty-eight...

Sixty-four...

Sixty...

Double espresso
kind of day?

Back off!
Back the fuck off!

Oh, Damini...

...you look really stressed.

Detox!

You know Mulshi?

It's a lakeside town
near Pune.

They do some amazing
Vipasana retreat spas.

You should really go.

Stay out of my shit and
I'll stay out of yours.

Please.

Didn't you get the memo?

I'm here to do your shit.

So get off your idealistic
high horse...

...and get with the program.

Cause I'm here to stay.

C'mon...give it to me.

Harder.

Give it to me!
Harder!

Harder! Harder!

I'm trying!

Did you see the link?

What link?

What link?

What link?

So our Siddhi's not
so innocent after all.

You saw the link.

You liked what you saw.

Listen...

...there was this dude...

...who was barbecuing in
just an apron!

And I kept thinking...

...what if...

...what if he barbecued
something else!

You know what that
means right?

What?

Now when you bake,
you know what you got to do.

You know what you got to do!
-Yuck! Mohit you're so dirty!

I love you.

I love you too.
-Bye.

Call me okay?
-I will.

Bye.
-Bye.

I love you, bye!

When did you come home?

If you have any questions,

ask away.

About what?

About...

...feelings in the body.

Ewww! Mom please!

Siddhi!

I really like the sound of this.

Siddhi weds Mohit!

You know what,
tell me, which do you prefer?

#SiMo or #MoSi?

It doesn't matter.

I like them both!

I'm going to call Kooki aunty!

Nothing has changed
in ten years.

All the good men are
either taken or gay.

Ya...that's right.

You guys, one word.

Online.

But that's for...

What? Sex?

Meaningless hook-ups?

But these days,
every meaningful relationship...

...begins online.

But who would want me?

What do you mean?

Look at you,
you're hot, successful...

And a mom.

Ladies.

Wow...even before we
could order?

It's...

...from them.

We're all just a bunch
of vaginas to them.

Ladies,

drink up and follow me.

Cheers.
-Cheers.

Hi boys!

Hi girls.

So my name is Mayank,

this is Sid, Ryan
and Saif.

I'm Umang.

I'm a trainer.

Bisexual.

Looking for adventure.

Keep one word in mind.

Consent.

No anal allowed...

...and oral only if you're
willing to do it as well.

I'm Anjana.

A lawyer, a single mother...

...and my vagina...

...just refuses to come.

I'm Damini.

Start-up founder, still,
I hope...

Super smart,
super successful...

...and earns more than all
your combined salaries.

I also masturbate pretty often.

Much more efficient than sex.

I'm Siddhi. I'm a virgin.

My mom hates me.

She wants me to marry a
pure vegetarian boy...

...from the same community.

But I love non-veg.

Unfortunately,
I can't kick your ass today...

...because I'm wearing
very high heels but...

...what are your plans
for tomorrow?

Mangs, stop it!

Mangs, stop! Stop!

Mangs!
-Dating app upload done!

All hail the hook up expert!
-Mangs, stop it!

Mangs! Don't you dare!
-It's done.

It's done Anj!

I mean, on one hand,
you say...

...there are no men.

And when some poor
guy shows interest...

...you scare him away?

Please! They were so not
into us!

Idiots.

Anyway, on a more
serious note,

if you ever have trouble...

...with any of the patrons,

just call me.

How macho!

Will you beat them up
and save us?

Are you crazy?

Not at all.

Then?

I'll watch them get
thrashed by you girls...

...and I'll make a viral
video of it.

How's the dog?

Good, I think.

What have you named him?

Nothing. He's not mine.

So why make attachments?

I didn't mean it like that,
you know.

When you call out to him,

what do you say?

Dog.

Dog?

An ode to all the men past.

Oh please!

All the men!

How many men do you
think there have been?

It's plural. It can just
as well be two.

It's your guilty conscience
talking.

It's not my
guilty conscience okay!

How about Xerxes?

Who's Xerxes?

My 16 year old cousin.

You want me to date
your sixteen year old cousin?

No. I mean the dog.

How about naming the
dog Xerxes?

You want me to name
the dog after your cousin?

Why not? He's cute, fluffy,
he's hairy, he's...

The dog?

No.

My cousin.

Oh my God! Okay!

One second...

Problem?

No, just some work stuff.

Ya...

Sorry. Ya...

Another drink?

I'm so sorry, stock-taking time.

No, of course.

Actually even I have
a really early start tomorrow.

What was I thinking.

Okay, cool.

Thank you for the whiskey.

Sure.
-This was great.

Ya...

See you.

Ciao.

Fuck! You're on fire tonight!

I'm off to New York
tomorrow for two months!

You're going to have to
care of yourself for a while!

Don't worry, I'm self sufficient.

Don't I know that baby!

Damini! I can hear
strange noises.

That's just the dog!

What do you mean dog!

The dog!

Dog?!

Shut up!

But like...

...the men.

Worse than the women.

No matter where you look,

they're moving around with
a six pack obsession.

And...

...their hands are tiny...

...And their feet are like two--

What?

Sarkando?
-Sarkando.

Sarkando?

Bamboo sticks.

Oh. I had no idea.

Sarkando.

Do I need to give
you Hindi lessons too?

All lessons welcome.

You know, I'm a fast learner.

Oh shit...

I'm...I'm sorry.

I don't know
what I was doing.

So it's late.

And...

I'm shooting tomorrow...

...early morning.

Okay...

Ya, ya…

No problem.

Oh my God!
Arya's coming first.

No, no...

...Mama's going to
come first!

Hey Ratan...

The Mizwani case?

But the concall isn't
till Monday right?

Now?

I'm in the middle of...

Okay fine, I'll see you, bye.

I'm assuring you they can't
sue you, Mr. Mizwani.

No, you're not in breach.

I've made a watertight
contract for you, Sir.

Yes, Sir.

In fact, we can sue
them for being in breach.

You're very welcome, Sir.

That's what I'm here for.

Have a good day.

Thank God for you Anjana!

Fifty-five bloody minutes!

Can't believe I had to
miss my golf game for this.

One more Saturday gone.

I was just blowing
some balloons.

You know they have
people for that, don't you?

I like organizing
Arya's parties myself.

You can't have it all babe.

Mom!

Oh my God!

Mom, you did this
with Radha?

It's...

Oh my God!
It's amazing!

I just...

I just love it!

Hi...

Hi!

Do you like it?

It's...it's amazing.

I'm so glad!

Actually, your mom said
you were running a little late...

...so I ran out and bought
some stuff.

Sorry...

Did you do all of this?

Yes...

Wow!

Wow! Thank you.
-I'm so glad that you like it.

Ya, it's really nice.

Thanks so much.
-Yay!

Quickly, quickly...

Choo, choo, choo!

Come, let's dance?

I'm good, I'm good.
-C'mon...

I'm fine. Don't insist please.
-Okay.

C'mon...

It's okay.

Yay!

One, two, three!

Oh my God!

It's the pink scooty!
-Wow!

Baby, I went to four shops
to get this you know?

Shall we give Arya our
present as well?

Ya c'mon...give, give...

Okay, okay.

Do you like it?

Arya...

Teddy!

So cute!

She really likes him!
-That's so sweet.

Arya, do you just love him...

...or do you love him?

Love him.
Even more than Buttoo.

Amazing!
-You want this?

Take Buttoo on scooter...

Ya!

Such fun!

Anj...

I'm sorry but I have to
say this...

...I think she's
trying to make it work.

Dee...

I think she's just
trying to steal my kid.

Okay, look at this.

It's same same!

Anj, relax!

All she's done is bought
a cake!

Mad.

Oops!

Shit!

Had bought a cake rather.

Anj, what is this bitchy
step-wife mode?

I'm scared right now!

It's called bitch-mode baby
and it's on now!

Kavya! What's up man...

Hey! Shit...

I'm so sorry Kavya,
you know...

This stupid kid Vivaan
came running and just...

No don't...

Don't worry about it, it's okay...

No, no, it's fine, it's fine.

I'll take care of it.
-It's really fine.

Let me help you.
-No it's fine.

But you know what,
we have another cake.

It's very sweet of you to have,
you know...

It's okay.

Help me clean up guys!

It's okay.

It's okay to be jealous.

Mom please!
I'm not jealous.

I asked for the divorce,
remember?

I wonder...

...what he sees in Kavya.

There's no glow on
her face.

And just look at those
small hips.

How on earth will
she deliver a baby?

You are so mean.

She's just tea bags.

Only dust.

And you're second flush.

Just right.

Hey...

What are you doing?

Taking some of my pictures
with Arya.

We want to make this little...

...album and keep it at home.

'We' meaning?

Kavs and me.

I hope you don't mind.

Remember this one?

You come into my home,
ruin my picture album...

...you're asking me if
I don't mind.

Of course I mind.

But you have soft copies
on your computer right?

You can print new copies...

...else I'll get them
printed for you.

It's no big deal.

I'm only taking the
ones with Arya and me.

Breaking this family up once
wasn't enough for you?

Fuck man! It's just a
photo album!

It is not just a photo album!

Okay so only you
get to keep her photos?

You're the one who's
fucking moving on, okay.

Making a happy family and
home sweet home...

...and all that fucking bullshit!

So you also move on.

What's the matter with you?

Who's stopping you?

Take this fucking album!

This whole fucking damn thing!

Move on.

I'll fucking show you
what moving on is asshole.

Congrats!

So tell me, what do I do now?

Okay...

Ball is in your court.

Make a plan...

...and go on a date.

Simple.

With all of them?

Anj!

You're going on a date,
not opening a harem!

Keep some filters.

Okay...

What kind of filters?

Size filters.

You know...how big or small.

I'm serious.

I'm serious!
Look at their pictures and decide.

Do it now, c'mon!

Seven...

Four...

Eight...

Eight...

Six...

Fifteen...

What the fuck is fifteen?

He's not a prehistoric man!

Really? It's not that much.

I mean fifteen is this much, right?

Oh my God.

No, no, no.
It's like... It's like...

Ya...

You just visualized it,
didn't you?

Shhh!

Arya's sleeping.

What are you all doing outside
in the middle of the night?

Actually aunty, we were doing
something important.

We were trying to find
a match for Ms. VeeVee.

But we found one.
It's all good.

Please go back to bed.
Goodnight.

Goodnight mom.

I'll walk you to your room.