Final Space (2018–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - The Toro Regatta - full transcript

Last season on "Final Space,"

a lot freakin' happened,
so let's burn through it.

I'm Gary.

A lot of people on Reddit
think I'm annoying.

Well,
I guess they have a point.

But if you
really want to know annoying,

just hang out with KVN
for five horrendous years.

- We got Mooncake...
- Chookity.

...who, by the way, is a
planet destroying super weapon.

My best friend Avocato,

a gruff, tough, little
bit rough bounty hunter,



who, sadly, bit it...

His son Little Cato,
who I swore to look after...

H.U.E., the ship's AI,
who can't keep me in check...

Tribore, the surprisingly
capable and fashionable

head of the resistance.

And Clarence, someone I hope
to never meet again.

I never thought someone like
me would be saving the world.

It's tricky because...
no one teaches you how.

You just meet someone really,
really genuine like Quinn...

and her equally hot
future self, Nightfall.

You hear about
a breach in space

you've got to close or else.

You get hunted by
a maniacal dick wad

like the Lord Commander,



and then you just kind
of hope it works out.

That's what happened to me, anyway.

Only it didn't...

...work out.

- Gary.
- No. Don't. Don't say it.

I'm not coming back.

Where ... Where am I?

I'm not coming back.

We failed.

We failed freakin' hard.

H.U.E., where are we?

H.U.E.?
H.U.E.?

- H.U.E.?!
- Sorry, Gary.

This is my first time
inhabiting a shell.

- Is that really you?
- Get off my cheeks, Gary.

Get over here,
you waddling rascal.

Come on over. Come on.
Right here. I'm waiting.

While we're young, H.U.E., please.

Get over here.
Hug me tight, H.U.E.

Hugging, hugging, hugging.

- Okay. Okay. O...
- I missed you so much.

- All right. All right.
- Whoa.

That was the ... that was the
worst hug I've ever received.

Gary, we're about to...
lightfold!

2x01 - The Toro Regatta

This kinda sucks a lot!

"If you're ready
for some sweet deals,

you're ready for some sweet...
sweet... Clarence."

Oh, that is...
truly disgusting.

- You're disgusting.
- Oh. Oh, God, no.

- Clarence?!
- Surprise.

Well, well, well.
Sorry, primate, to inform you

of the horribly wonderful news
that I now own you.

You don't own me.
No one owns me.

All property gathered
in the Interstellar Null Zone

belongs to he who collects it.
And that "he" is me.

- And that property is you.
- Oh, well, that's great.

And quick, H.U.E., run!

You're not going anywhere!

Whoa!
I can't believe that worked.

Begone, self-doubting
adolescent demon!

Quick, H.U.E., run!
And a little faster this time.

Sprint mode engaged.

Come on, H.U.E.!
Put the pedal to the metal!

Oh.
Now, that scares me.

Ah, I see you've met Fox
and Ash, my darling children.

Just to clarify ...
did any of you spring

- from that hobgoblin's wiener?!
- We were adopted!

Which means it hurts
my feelings when people

run away from me without
giving me a chance.

Mm-hmm. That's great.
Okay, Clarence.

Now it's time for you
and your robot annoyance

to remove your filth.

Wash boy.

- Little Cato?
- Gary?

Thunder Bandit!

My little Spider Cat.

Now, this ... this is a hug.

My body is a nightmare.

Now, how do we get out of here?

We gather every boom stick
we can find

- and start shooting photons at ...
- Ah, before you go any further...

Matchy, matchy.
Cool.

- Good night.
- Oh!

Mooncake,
I wish we'd never met.

Ooooh, chookity pok.

He has nothing left.
You've drained him.

- Time's up, wang dangler.
- No!

I've killed you 100 different
ways in 100 different times,

and every time,
Invictus always takes you.

And the cycle begins again.

But this time feels different.

And when it takes you, tell it
we're coming to kill it.

I...

You finished causing trouble?

Gary, may I speak in ironics?

You're a prisoner once again.

Wow. Freaking hilarious
insight, H.U.E.

Now we gotta get out of here,

and I think I have a plan.

Oh, boy. Here we go!
Home free, boys!

Home freeeee...

- Okay.
- Not that bad.

- Ready to go again?
- What?!

I wouldn't do that, Gary.

Ohh!

- Okay, here we go.
- We got this.

Ugh, I can't feel my head.

We got close that time.

Good news.
Something's come up.

A little job which,
if you help the family with,

you won't have to stay
imprisoned here for 20 years.

I can feel the oil
rushing to my head.

Okay. I'm listening.

We're stealing
the Nymerian Cube.

Where's this, uh, Hungarian Lube?
Where's that?

On a ship that's entered
in the Toro Regatta

the most spectacular space race
in all the galaxy.

Gimme this race right now!

Ordinarily, it's too
well-guarded to steal,

which is why we're going
to pull this heist

in the middle of the race.

You've done time, so this
should be second nature.

I'll even sweeten the deal
and throw in...

The Crimson Light.

A dietetic but
delicious-sounding soft drink?

- A VX-9 light runner.
- Ooh!

Envied by all.

We get to go free?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

And we get a spaceship?

- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.

All right.
You got yourself a dealio, yo.

Put. Them. Down.

Wha...

Oh.

No.

Oh, no.

For a second there,
I-I thought it was ...

- I'm baaaaaack.
- No!

I saw you die!

It was so beautiful.
Go back!

I can't go back.
I sensed that you're in danger.

Do you ever sense
that I'min danger?

- I don't really think about you.
- Mnh-mnh-mnh.

- Mnh. Mnh-mnh-mnh.
- That's why I put myself back together.

- No.
- I couldn't leave this world knowing my

- best friend was out there, somewhere...
- No. No.

...forever searching for me.

- There was no searching.
- Right.

- Because I was always in your heart.
- Mnh-mnh.

- Equidistant from both nips, right here.
- Oh!

Now let's play
who missed who the most.

Sounds manageable.
We fly the ship.

We get our freedom.
We get the hell out of here.

Then we find Mooncake.

It doesn't, like, sound too good
to be true or anything, right?

Little Cato, sometimes,
if you're lucky,

life takes the crap in your hand

and hands you two slices of bread,

and turns that crap
into a crap luck sandwich.

You know,
but the crap sandwich is,

- you know, still made out of crap.
- Yeah.

But there's a little bit of luck
in there, too.

And we're going to need it.

Why is Clarence so obsessed
with this cube, anyway?

The Nymerian Cube is
a collapsed star small enough

to hold in your hand
and extremely powerful.

What?
Who is this?

I'm AVA, the ship's AI.

AVA.
I like that name.

I'm H.U.E.
I am also an AI.

Aww. Sure you are.

Any more questions?

I didn't even have that question.

- Right.
- I like her.

Get ready for
race day at the Toro Regatta!

The speed of our competitors

is only outstripped
by their mad lust for victory.

The Nymerian Cube
is on the Starchaser

piloted by Rug Yorkvain,

formerly Chag Murfblick,

formerly Crix Blangdag,

formerly Hux Ringscreckai,

a.k.a. Tim White.

Everyone's been
training year round for this race

except for the crew
of the Crimson Light,

who just kinda showed up.

The ragtag crew
of the Crimson Light

does not look impressive!

Krakorian oddsmakers
have them all dead

by the end of the first heat!

Welcome to the Toro Regatta!

Racers, spool your engines.

And here we go.

Five, four, three, two...

one...

The Toro Regatta!
Sponsored by Dart Juice!

Before you disintegrate
in a vain attempt at glory,

taste the freshness of Dart Juice!

I'm chuggin' one right now!

The Crimson Light bringing up the rear.

Wait a second.
It looks ... yes!

It looks like the Crimson Light
is gaining ground.

Pilot Gary Goodspeed
has burned past Dread Renegade,

but something tells me
this won't last long.

Warning ...
weapons are locked to our ship.

- What kind of race is this, Clarence?
- A race to the death.

- Didn't I mention that?
- No, you didn't!

They got us!

They're trying to rip out
our lightfold engine!

We're gonna get 'em.
We're gonna get 'em!

Does this help, Gary?

- No!
- Tropical Muzak engaged.

All right, well, a little.
Actually, it's kinda catchy.

- Dit dit dit dit...
- Gary!

- Oh, oh.
- Gary.

- I see it.
- Gary!

I see it!

Whoa!
It's the ol' twist and burn

as they release a baker's
dozen photon missiles

ready to cook the Crimson Light!

Ooh! And the Dread Renegade
goes down!

Catch the Starchaser.
It's time we make our move.

With just three ships left,
it's anyone's race.

The Starchaser regains the lead!

There they go, past Bee-tor,
the sacred beetle king!

Oh, no!

All right. Go, go, go, go.
Get the cube. Get the ...

Who's ... Who's getting the cube
from the Starchaser?

You are.

You don't think I'm going to
risk my life and my children's

when I have
disposable you here, do you?

- What?
- Back off, Ventrexian!

Unless you want another
thousand-year war!

You back off, Tryvuulian.

No, youback off, Ventrexian!

Don't hurt him!
I kind of like him!

I mean, what?

Incoming.

Dirty play!
But we like that!

We're going to need cover
from those nasty lasers.

- Get out there and destroy things.
- Before I take a life...

I make a life.

Whoo-hoo!
Hoo-hoo-hoo!

Why do this?

Ohh! Oh, I can see body parts
and everything.

Oh, no!
I can't do this anymore!

The hell you can't!
This is how we wreck it, Tryvuulian!

Oh, that's "regatta" hurt!

Aaah!

Keep moving, primate.

Starchaser's drop driving!

What the hell was that?

- AVA?
- Yes, gorgeous?

Engage the drop drive, Lambchop.

- Wait. What is a drop drive?
- Engaging drop.

Was it that thing? Because I
don't want to do it if it's that.

- No, no, no, no! I don't want to do it!
- 3, 2, 1.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

Oh! Oh, no!

Drop drive initiated.

Now traveling through
dimensional space.

Gary, can you feel it?
The Nymerian Cube's right there.

Oh, my God.

There is a little tadpole
digglin' out of your pants.

- What is that?!
- My Money Compass.

It points me in the direction of money.

Eh. Kiss.
Hmm?

Ash, attach a jump cable
to the primate.

Oh, man.
What am I doing here?

I ... I lost a frigging planet.
I am not the guy for this.

Let's go already!

Oh, you kicked me!
Oh, this is not good!

Oh! The cable!
No! I'm falling!

- Gary?
- Someone save me!

Hold on!

Oh.

Ash, how are you doing
that thingy thing?

Awh!

What?!

Oh, no!

Oh!
Ohh. Oh.

Finger painting.

Who's got goggles
with a little moustache?

- You do.
- Ha ha. Looking for this?

The Librarian Cube.

Ta-ta.

- What is he doing?
- Aw, crap.

They're destroying their own ship!

Oh, no. That means
they're gonna hijack ours.

We got to get back!
Do ... Do your thingy!

- Do the thingy!
- What thingy?

The thingy thing! The ...
The ... Activate the thingy!

What? Well, I can't just ...
I can't just pop it on, man!

Okay, last chance to activate
the thingy thing! No?!

Then ... Then j-jump!

You liar!
We could have gently levitated!

Oh, my.

Oh, hello, top of the ship again.

Where's generic blond guy?

You're a liar!

- A stinking liar!
- He sounds mad.

Whoah!

Give me the cube, you
handsome, handsome man!

All right.

I... can... head... butt...

you... all... day.

Ohh!

Uh-oh! Oh.
No, I can't.

Oh. Oh, no.
Oh, no.

Oh, no!

How ... oh, my.

Ho! Oh!

How are you still so handsome?!

- Look who's still got it.
- No, actually, I do.

AVA, disengage drop drive,
my little gumdrop.

You got it, big boy.

I can't believe it!

The Crimson Light's back in the race!

But they're not alone.

The Invader Red
is closing in on us.

Oh, and we're about
to be disintegrated.

She's right, Gary.
We got trouble.

Shield! Uh, uh!

Fire something!
Press buttons!

Red has been neutralized

- by an unidentified ship, Gary.
- Yes!

Chookity!

Regatta, baby!
Ya gotta, Regatta!

And the Crimson Light wins
the Toro Regatta!

- Mooncake?
- Gar?

- Mooncake!
- Gar, Gar, Gar, Gar, Gar! Gar.

- Oh.
- Chookity...

- What?
- ...pok pok pok pok pok.

- Oh.
- Chookity! Chookity pok!

Pok pok! Chooka pooka!

- No.
- Anda Chookity

- pok pok pokity!
- Oh, geez. Oh, God. Okay.

- Yeah?
- Chookity pok pok pok.

- Chooka pok.
- You lost your powers?

And then, the ... then ...
And then, what happened?

- Pok.
- Oh, oh. You were done.

Okay, well.

- Nightfall. You're alive?
- And you're alive.

Let's assume everyone
who is here is ... is alive.

I have a body now, everybody.

What I mean to say is,
if you're alive,

Quinn is alive, too, right?

Gary, no one has ever
returned from Final Space.

That just means there's
got to be a first time.

Our work isn't done, child.

It's only just... begun.

Gary, the Crimson Light
is going to need

- extensive repairs to ...
- The airlocks, lightfold engines,

and captain's bath house.

I was going to say that, AVA.

Yeah, but cha didn't.

Isn't AVA the best?

Right, H.U.E.?
Did you hear me?

H.U.E.? H.U.E.?

- Have I really sunk this low?
- H.U.E.? H.U.E.?

You sure have.
Ooh.

Smell it up, Clarence.

It's the glorious scent called Freedom.

Ahh. What you're smelling is
that you're still my property,

- and I'm keeping the ship.
- Say what? What?

My guess is that you
didn't read the fine print.

What fine print?
There was no fine print.

You gave me your word!

My word isthe fine print,
Dingus, and I just changed it.

If you need me...

Bolo?

Gary. Days are coming.

The war for your universe
has begun.

The time has come
for you to free me.

Otherwise, no one ...
past, present, or future ...

will survive.

Yeah...
Yeah, no, I'm good.

Everything depends on all of you.

- Our journey leads to Final Space.
- Wait, to Quinn?

- Together, we can save her.
- How?

Gather the five Dimensional Keys.

With them, you'll have the power

to break through my prison.

Okay, that's great and all,
but where do I ...

where do I get 'em?

They are hidden across your universe,

but you are already
in possession of the first one.

Peace out, Gary.

Yo!
Yo, B-Bolo, dude!

The universe is a really big place.

Engines spooled.

I'm going to break a Titan
out of inter-dimensional prison.

- Sticking around?
- Wouldn't miss it.

- Out of my seat, primate.
- Yo. My ship, my seat.

Then you leave me no choice.

- Ow.
- Clarence, why is there a pack of Smartees ...

- Oh! Oh, Clarence!
- It's still my Money Compass.

I'm just excited
to be at the controls.

- Grabbing life by its succulent ...
- Oh, Clarence!

Will you get the hell off me?!