Felicity (1998–2002): Season 1, Episode 3 - Hot Objects - full transcript

PREVIOUSLY ON "FELICITY"...

HOW COME YOU NEVER WENT TO ANY
PARTIES IN HIGH SCHOOL? I WENT TO A COUPLE.

WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH
YOU GUYS... YOU AND BEN?

ARE YOU DATING? OH,
NO. WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

HOW COULD YOU THINK THAT YOU'RE IN
LOVE WITH ME? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

[HINGES CREAK]

HEY.

SO ARE YOU... ARE
YOU AVOIDING ME, OR...

A LITTLE.

IS THAT BECAUSE OF WHAT
HAPPENED WITH FELICITY

OR IS IT... IS IT BECAUSE OF ME?



I GET FEELINGS FOR PEOPLE
ALL THE TIME. I'M A SENSITIVE GUY.

OKAY.

YEAH, I GET CRUSHES ON EVERYONE.

YOU DO? AM I BLUSHING?

♪ OOH DE LA ♪

♪ OOH DE OH OH ♪

♪ OOH LE LO HA ♪

♪ OH DE LO HA ♪

♪ LO LA LO HO ♪

♪ HEY HA ♪

♪ HEY-EY ♪

♪ OH HEY HI DA DA ♪

DEAR SALLY,

I'M PROBABLY MAKING
TOO BIG A DEAL OF THIS...



I'M SURE I AM...

BUT TONIGHT IS MY FIRST
OFFICIAL COLLEGE PARTY.

EVER.

I THINK I HAVE EVERYTHING DOWN.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU GUYS
WANT TO TELL ME THAT I HAVEN'T HEARD YET?

THIS PARTY'S GONNA
NEED A GOOD BAND.

I KNOW SOME BANDS THAT ARE MINT.

AND THEY'LL COME DOWN.

YEAH. LIKE I THINK I'VE
SAID, WHAT, SIX TIMES NOW?

WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE
TO USE CDs AND TAPES, OKAY?

IT'S A UNIVERSITY ORDINANCE,

AND AS RESIDENT ADVISOR,
IT'S MY RESPONSIBILITY.

I THINK WE SHOULD HAVE A BAND.

YEAH, I THINK WE'RE
ALL VERY AWARE OF THAT

AND SOMEWHAT CONCERNED
THAT YOU'RE NOT GIVING IT UP.

NOW, I HAVEN'T HEARD BACK
FROM THE A.V. DEPARTMENT.

UH, DOES ANYONE HAVE ACCESS
TO A GOOD SOUND SYSTEM?

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

[PAGER BEEPS]

I CAN DO IT.

YOU CAN DO WHAT?

THE PARTY. THE WHOLE
THING... I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

THE WHOLE PARTY?

I GOT A BIG FAMILY. MY COUSINS...
I MEAN IT... THEY'D KILL FOR ME.

WE JUST WANT TO THROW A PARTY.

[PAGER BEEPING] I KNOW.
I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

YOU'LL MEET YURI, HE'LL
GET US WHAT WE NEED, OKAY?

LIKE A BAND?

MITCH...[SIGHS]

[DOOR OPENS]

NO, HE DIDN'T.

YES. THAT'S WHAT NOEL SAID.

LAST YEAR, AT THE SAME PARTY,
THREE PEOPLE SHOWED UP NAKED.

WELL, I'M GONNA BE WEARING
CLOTHES TO THIS PARTY.

[CHUCKLES] ME TOO.

HEY, I WANT TO ASK
YOU SOMETHING.

UM, I WENT BY YOUR ROOM LAST
NIGHT AND YOU WEREN'T THERE.

OH, I WAS... I WAS
AT LUCKY STRIKE.

REALLY? WITH WHO?

I WENT OVER THERE
WITH THIS GIRL ASTRID.

IT WASN'T VERY
SPECIAL. [CHUCKLES]

OH.

WELL, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
SURE SOMETHING WAS OKAY WITH YOU

BEFORE I DID IT.

I WANT TO INVITE
BEN TO THE PARTY.

GOOD. YOU SHOULD.

WHAT? YOU'RE GETTING WEIRD. NO.

[CHUCKLES] I'M NOT.

YOU... YOU SHOULD
DEFINITELY INVITE HIM.

THAT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU?

IN NO WAY DOES IT BOTHER ME.

WE WERE LIKE A 24-HOUR
VIRUS, ME AND BEN.

[CHUCKLES]

I DON'T MEAN TO BLOW
THIS OUT OF PROPORTION,

BUT IT'S KIND OF A
BIG DEAL, ISN'T IT?

YOU KNOW, OUR
FIRST COLLEGE PARTY.

OH, YEAH. IT'S HUGE.

YOU KNOW HOW OLDER
PEOPLE ARE ALWAYS SAYING,

"I'LL NEVER FORGET MY
FIRST COLLEGE PARTY"?

OKAY. I-I JUST WANTED TO
MAKE SURE THAT YOU'RE NOT...

I'M NOT.

I'M FINE WITH IT.

I SWEAR.

Felicity: JULIE'S RIGHT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, THE FIRST COLLEGE
PARTY IS WHEN IT ALL HAPPENS.

[SIREN WAILING
IN DISTANCE] OKAY.

SO, I MEAN, THIS IS JUST ONE
VERSION OF HOW IT COULD GO...

ONE SCENARIO.

BEN SHOWS UP, AND,
UM, WE SEE EACH OTHER

FROM ACROSS THE PARTY,
AND HE COMES OVER.

AND WE TALK ABOUT, UM, YOU KNOW,

MR. ROGALSKI'S
CLASS OR SOMETHING.

HE LIKES HOW I LOOK.

I LIKE HOW HE LOOKS.

AND WE BASICALLY, UM, YOU KNOW,
APPRECIATE HOW EACH OTHER LOOKS.

AND... THEN WE START DANCING.

AND WE DANCE FOR HOURS,
UNTIL WE'RE JUST EXHAUSTED

AND... AND SWEATY
AND READY TO PASS OUT.

BUT THE PARTY'S ON
MY FLOOR, SO I SAY...

"YOU WANT TO GO TO MY ROOM?"

OR, UM...

[Seductively] "YOU WANT
TO GO TO MY ROOM?"

WHATEVER.

UM, AND MEGHAN'S
NOT HERE, THANK GOD.

[CHUCKLES]

AND SO WE JUST SIT ON
MY BED AND TALK ABOUT...

EVERYTHING.

[HORNS HONKING]

OF COURSE, I BLEW MY FIRST
OPPORTUNITY TO ASK HIM.

DAMN IT!

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

HEY.

YEAH. HEY.

ARE YOU OKAY?

[SIGHS] THERE WAS A...

I DON'T KNOW.

SO YOU DIDN'T GET A CLASS.

WELL, I SIGNED UP
FOR A LANGUAGE CLASS,

BUT THEY GAVE ME, UM...

THEY GAVE ME DRAMA.

YOU'RE IN DRAMA?

NO, I-I'M NOT IN DRAMA.
THAT'S A MISTAKE, OBVIOUSLY.

WELL, UM... DID YOU
GET WHAT YOU WANTED?

INORGANIC CHEMISTRY.

YOU GOT THAT, AND YOU'RE HAPPY?

YEAH.

THE TEACHER IS
SOMEONE WHO, UH...

DR. WILLIAM GARIBAY?

UH, I DON'T KNOW. I NEVER...

HE WROTE THE ENTIRE SERIES OF CHEMISTRY
BOOKS I USED ALL THROUGH HIGH SCHOOL,

SO IT'S JUST KIND OF
AMAZING, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, COLLEGE, BEING
ABLE TO TAKE A CLASS

BEING TAUGHT BY THE
MAN WHO ACTUALLY...

UM...

I JUST... I REALLY
WANTED THE CLASS.

YEAH.

HEY, SO YOU DIDN'T...
YOU DIDN'T GO LAST NIGHT.

WHAT?

LUCKY STRIKE.

THERE WAS A...
THERE WAS A THING.

OH.

YEAH.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD'VE GONE.

I DON'T KNOW. UH,
MAYBE NEXT TIME.

YEAH. OKAY.

NEXT TIME.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

I WAS RIGHT THERE.

ALL I HAD TO SAY WAS, "YEAH,
NEXT TIME... THIS FRIDAY."

GOD. HOW INCAPABLE AM I?

THAT WAS LAME.

L, M, N, O, P,

Q, R, S, T... YOU DON'T HEAR IT?

YOU THINK "Q" COMES TOO
EARLY IN THE ALPHABET?

NO, I KNOW IT DOES. "Q"
SHOULD BE AT THE END.

Q, X, Y, Z.

OKAY, BUT... WHY?

BECAUSE IT'S NOT LIKE
"Q" COMES AFTER "O,"

WHICH AT LEAST "Q" RESEMBLES.

AND IF YOU MOVE "Q" TO
WHERE IT BELONGS, AT THE END,

"P" WOULD COME RIGHT BEFORE "R,"

WHICH WOULD BE SO SEXY.

HEY.

HEY.

I DON'T WANT TO BUG YOU.

UH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO
RETURN MY CALLS OR WHATEVER,

BUT, UH, CHAVEZ IS, UH, IS...
IS PLAYING TRAMPS ON FRIDAY,

AND THEY'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE PRETTY GOOD.

FRIDAY.

YEAH. YOU WANT TO GO?

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

WE'RE THROWING A
PARTY ON FRIDAY AT KELVIN,

SO I CAN'T.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU'RE NEVER GOING OUT
WITH ME AGAIN, ARE YOU?

I GOTTA... GET TO CLASS.

[Laughing] ALL RIGHT.

[UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

♪ WASTE OF A GOOD MAN... ♪

Felicity: YOU KNOW
WHAT'S AMAZING?

I COULDN'T FEEL BETTER
ABOUT STICKING WITH PRE-MED.

AND THIS IS GOING
TO BE MY FIRST CLASS,

THE BEGINNING OF
MY LIFE AS A DOCTOR.

BECAUSE I'M NOT AT STANFORD,

NOW I GET TO STUDY UNDER SOMEONE

WHO, IN A WAY, I'VE IDOLIZED.

FOR YEARS, THROUGH HIS BOOKS,
I'VE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM HIM.

I KIND OF FEEL LIKE
I'VE MET HIM ALREADY.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

EXCUSE ME. DR. GARIBAY?

HI.

I'M FELICITY PORTER.
I'M IN THIS CLASS.

UM...

I COULDN'T FIND THE
BOOK ANYWHERE.

I ORDERED A COPY
FROM THE PUBLISHER,

BUT IF I DON'T HAVE
THE BOOK TODAY,

WILL I BE ABLE TO FOLLOW
WHAT WE'RE DOING?

NO.

I CALL IT REQUIRED READING
BECAUSE IT ISN'T OPTIONAL.

BUT I COULDN'T FIND
THE BOOK ANYWHERE.

PARDON ME.

EVERYONE WHO DID NOT
GET A COPY OF THE TEXTBOOK,

RAISE YOUR HAND.

[MAN COUGHS]

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

THE ACTOR'S RESPONSIBILITY
IS TO COMMUNICATE,

TO CONVEY TRUTH,

TO UNDERSTAND AND
EXPRESS AN INTERNAL LIFE.

SUBJECTIVE MOTIVATION.

THE NEXT CLASS, I WANT
YOU TO BRING IN AN OBJECT,

SOMETHING THAT
HAS MEANING TO YOU.

THIS FIRST EXERCISE
IS DESIGNED TO REVEAL

HIDDEN INTERNAL LIFE

NOT... NOT WITHIN CHARACTERS...

BUT WITHIN THINGS.

WOULD THIS BE CONSIDERED
A MEISNER EXERCISE?

NO.

[Laughing] HOPEFULLY WE WON'T
HAVE ANY REPETITION IN THIS CLASS.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO
GET UP AND... AND, UH,

DESCRIBE THE OBJECT, UH,
PHYSICALLY... OBJECTIVELY.

THEN I'M GONNA ASK YOU TO
TELL US WHAT IT MEANS TO YOU.

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

MR. KINNEY?

MR. KINNEY, COULD I TALK TO
YOU FOR A SECOND, PLEASE?

SURE.

OKAY.

NOW, I APPLIED FOR
RUSSIAN... LANGUAGE...

AND THEY GAVE ME
DRAMA BY ACCIDENT,

SO I SHOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE.

IT MIGHT NOT BE AN ACCIDENT.

THEATER'S A
COMMUNICATIONS ELECTIVE,

JUST LIKE LANGUAGE.

OKAY.

[INHALES DEEPLY] NO.

I CAN'T TAKE DRAMA.

SO YOU'RE DROPPING THIS COURSE.

ALL RIGHT.

AS SOON AS THERE'S
AN OPENING IN RUSSIAN,

MISS PETESSI'S CLASS,
I'M TRANSFERRING OVER,

AND THEY SAY THERE'S
USUALLY AT LEAST ONE DROP,

AND I'M FIRST ON
THE WAITING LIST, SO...

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I HOPE YOU GET ALL
THE CLASSES YOU WANT.

THANK YOU.

BUT WHILE, UH,
YOU'RE MY STUDENT,

YOU'RE OBLIGATED TO PARTICIPATE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN
I HAVE TO GET UP THERE.

THAT MEANS YOU
HAVE TO GET UP THERE.

NEXT CLASS, BRING A HOT OBJECT.

[SIGHS]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

[SIGHS]

HEY.

HEY. HOW'S IT GOING?

GOOD. REALLY GOOD.

UM, UH, THERE'S THIS
THING I'M SORT OF, UM...

IT'S AT KELVIN.

IT'S BASICALLY, YOU
KNOW, A DORM PARTY.

IT STARTS AT 8:00 ON FRIDAY.

UM, YOU KNOW, I'M JUST
KIND OF SPREADING THE WORD,

SO IF YOU WANT TO GO, YOU KNOW.

UM, JULIE TOLD ME ABOUT IT.

JULIE DID?

YEAH.

OH. WELL, COOL.

SO, UM... YEAH.

ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT?
I GOT TO GO, SO I'LL SEE YOU.

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

OH, SO MY ROOMMATE, WHO
USES A TOOTHBRUSH STERILIZER,

SAID TO ME, "FOR
THE PARTY ON FRIDAY,

I'M GONNA PUT
PLASTIC ON MY BED."

I WAS LIKE, "CONGRATULATIONS."

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

SO HERE'S THE THING... I INVITED
BEN TO THE PARTY ON FRIDAY,

AND HE SAID YOU HAD
ALREADY ASKED HIM.

AND I...

I WASN'T EVEN GONNA SAY
ANYTHING ABOUT IT, EXCEPT...

WELL, I JUST DID.

BEN AND I ARE JUST FRIENDS.

NO. I KNOW.

I MEAN, YOU GUYS CAN BE
WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BE.

I JUST...

IT'S NOT BEN, OKAY?
IT'S... IT'S YOU AND ME.

LOOK, I DON'T THINK THAT
THERE'S ANYTHING TO TALK ABOUT.

I JUST DON'T WANT US
TO RESENT EACH OTHER.

YEAH. ME NEITHER.

BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WORRY ABOUT ME AND BEN.

YOU AND BEN?

I KNOW. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?

SO... SO YOU LIKE BEN, TOO?

OKAY, DOES EVERYBODY LIKE BEN?

AND I'M NOT ASKING
THAT RHETORICALLY.

IT'S COMPLICATED, THOUGH,
BECAUSE I THINK BEN REALLY LIKES ME.

SHOULD I BE WRITING THIS DOWN?

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

AND THIS PARTY ON FRIDAY...

FELICITY IS SO EXCITED
ABOUT HANGING OUT WITH BEN.

UH-HUH.

BUT BEN WANTS TO
HANG OUT WITH ME,

WHICH I THINK
WILL KILL FELICITY.

SO DON'T DO IT.

I KNOW.

OH, BUT I REALLY WANT TO.

SO YOU'RE REALLY
TALKING TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK I'M JUST GONNA TELL FELICITY
THAT BEN KEEPS ASKING ME OUT.

NO. NO, I WOULDN'T DO THAT YET.

BECAUSE...'CAUSE YOU'RE IN THIS
REALLY CONFUSED STATE OF MIND,

AND IF YOU DO THAT NOW,

IT'LL SEEM LIKE YOU'RE
ASKING FELICITY'S PERMISSION

TO START DATING BEN, AND
THAT'S NOT WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

NO. YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU'RE RIGHT.

GOD.

NO OFFENSE, BUT THIS
REALLY DID NOT HELP.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

THANK YOU.

AND CAN YOU JUST NOT
TELL FELICITY ABOUT THIS?

BECAUSE IF SHE KNEW I
TOLD YOU SHE LIKES BEN...

OH, IT'S OKAY. I ALREADY KNEW.

IT'S THIN... SMOOTH...

MATERIAL.

UM, IT'S FOLDED.

UH... HELD TOGETHER

WITH... PRINT ON IT.

DON'T... DON'T... DON'T...
DON'T SAY "PRINT."

OKAY. WITH... COLOR ON IT.

NOW, ALICE, BE SUBJECTIVE.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN TO YOU?

IT'S A PROGRAM FROM A
PLAY I DID IN NINTH GRADE...

UH, "BLOOD WEDDING"... LORCA.

[CHAIR CREAKING]

UH, THERE ARE
PICTURES OF THE CAST

AND A HISTORY OF THE AUTHOR.

[KEYS RATTLING] WELL, AFTER
IT WAS OVER... THE PLAY...

MY BROTHER GAVE
ME BACK HIS PROGRAM.

AND MY BROTHER,
LIKE, NEVER TALKS...

[MAN COUGHS]

ABOUT EMOTIONAL STUFF TO ME.

OKAY. HOLD YOUR CENTER.

UM... SO I THOUGHT,

[Voice breaking] "WHY IS HE
GIVING ME BACK HIS PROGRAM?"

AND THEN I OPENED IT, AND
HE HAD WRITTEN SOMETHING.

HERE.

TELL US WHAT YOUR
BROTHER WROTE IN THE BOOK.

"ALICE, YOU WERE WONDERFUL.

[Voice breaking] LOVE, JOSH."

WHICH WAS THE
FIRST TIME HE EVER...

[Crying] YOU KNOW, SHOWED
ME HE MIGHT BE PROUD...

OF ME.

[SOBS]

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

UM... WHO'S NEXT?

[CHAIRS CREAKING]

BEN.

LET'S GIVE IT A GO.

BEGIN...

OBJECTIVELY.

OBJECTIVELY?

ALL RIGHT.

[PAPER RUSTLING]

[LIGHT LAUGHTER]

ALL RIGHT.

SO IT'S A MULTILAYERED OBJECT.

[LAUGHTER]

THE, UH, TOP AND BOTTOM
LAYERS ARE... ARE WHITE AND SOFT

WITH DARK EDGES,

AND... AND, UH, IN
BETWEEN THOSE LAYERS...

SANDWICHED...

[LAUGHTER]

UM, ARE ADDITIONAL LAYERS.

WHY IS THIS OBJECT
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?

BECAUSE I JUST... I LOVE
SANDWICHES. I LOVE 'EM.

[LAUGHTER] YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

MMM! [LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

THE END.

HEY, UM, DO YOU GOT ANY
SPECIAL REQUESTS FOR THE PARTY...

YOU KNOW, FOOD OR...
OR DRINK OR MUSIC?

HOW ABOUT A COPY OF "INORGANIC
CHEMISTRY" BY WILLIAM GARIBAY?

A-AM I SUPPOSED TO
UNDERSTAND THAT?

I USED UP MY ENTIRE
METROCARD TODAY

GOING UP TO COLUMBIA,
DOWN TO HUNTER,

OVER TO THE STRAND, BACK
UP TO SHAKESPEARE & COMPANY.

I'VE BEEN TO EVERY BARNES &
NOBLE, EVERY COLLEGE BOOKSTORE.

IT'S OUT OF STOCK. [KEYS RATTLE]

JUST KEEP REPEATING THE
PHRASE "IT'S ONLY COLLEGE."

IT HELPS SOMETIMES.

[SIGHS]

SO, UH, ANY SPECIAL
REQUESTS FOR THE PARTY?

I LIKE CHOCOLATE.

OKAY. WHAT KIND?

MILK? DARK? NUTS? PIECES?

BARK? NESTLé'S? HERSHEY'S?

IT'S NOT REALLY PARTY
FOOD, THOUGH, IS IT?

SURE, IT IS.

YEAH, I'LL TAKE CARE
OF IT. DONE. CHOCOLATE.

OKAY.

OH, UH, AND IF YOU WANT
TO SPECIAL-ORDER IT,

I KNOW THE GUYS
IN THE BOOKSTORE.

JUST... GO FREAK OUT
ABOUT YOUR BOOK.

[LAUGHS]

NEGATIVE THERMAL EXPANSION...

MAY THEN BE PRODUCED
IN TWO DIMENSIONS,

ALTHOUGH AT THE ATOMIC LEVEL

THERE IS APPARENTLY NO KNOWN
EXAMPLE OF THIS MECHANISM,

WHICH WE WILL
DISCUSS... NEXT TIME.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

DOCTOR?

EXCUSE ME.

UM, FELICITY PORTER... AGAIN.

JUST SO YOU KNOW,

I DID, UM, GO TO THE LIBRARY

AND... AND PHOTOCOPIED
THE PAGES I NEED.

$20 LATER, BUT, UM, ANYWAY,

MY BOOK SHOULD BE
HERE BY MONDAY, AND...

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE
SURE THAT... WE'RE OKAY.

YOU WANT TO MAKE
SURE WE'RE OKAY?

YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

UM...

I WAS HOPING SO.

THEN WE MUST BE JUST FINE.

OKAY. GOOD.

YOU AND I ARE DOING
EXCEPTIONALLY WELL.

GREAT.

IN FACT, YOU AND I ARE ON
SUCH GOOD TERMS, I HAVE AN IDEA.

FORGET THE ASSIGNMENT.

WHAT?

YEAH... THE WEEKEND
ASSIGNMENT. DON'T DO IT. FORGET IT.

INSTEAD...

WRITE AN ESSAY ON
HOW OKAY YOU AND I ARE.

I'M NOT...

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

THEN ASK YOURSELF IF
YOU BELONG IN MY CLASS.

[PAPERS RUSTLING]

Man: [Slavic accent] I GOT
SOUND SYSTEM, FOODS,

BEVERAGES, JANITORIAL...

FOR HOW MANY PEOPLE?

UH, MAYBE... MAYBE 100.

I SAY 200.

YOU... YOU UNDERSTAND WE DON'T
HAVE A BUDGET FOR THIS PARTY AT ALL?

I UNDERSTAND.

YOU SHOULD HAVE
DISCO LIGHT, YEAH?

HE CAN GET WHATEVER WE WANT.

UH, YEAH. I-I REALLY DON'T
THINK WE NEED A DISCO LIGHT.

IS PARTY. YOU NEED DISCO LIGHT.

NOW, FOR DELIVERY,
YOU HAVE BEEPER?

WHAT, LIKE A PAGER? NO.

YOU DON'T HAVE BEEPER?

REALLY?

GUYS, NOT EVERYONE
HAS A BEEPER, YOU KNOW.

[Translation] TOMORROW
WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT.

[Translation] YURI... THANK YOU.

[ELECTRONIC BEEPING]

YOU... I GET YOU BEEPER.

THANKS. I DON'T NEED ONE.

YOU NEED ONE.

GREAT. UH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THERE IS... THERE IS ONE MORE THING,
AND IT'S SORT OF IMPORTANT. UM...

YOU WANT GIRLS?

WHAT? [LAUGHS]

NO. UM...[CLEARS THROAT]

DO YOU HAVE ACCESS
TO, UH... TO CHOCOLATE?

HEY.

HEY.

SO HOW'S, UH, HOW'S CHEMISTRY?

OH, IT'S... SORT OF A CRISIS.

REALLY?

YEAH. MY TEACHER HATES ME.

BUT, UH, I'M SURE THAT
IT'S GONNA BE FINE.

WELL, I'M SURE, YOU KNOW,

THAT HE OR SHE DOESN'T,
UH, DOESN'T HATE YOU.

YEAH, HE DOES,
ACTUALLY. [CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

SO, HOW'S ACTING?

ACTING.

WELL, UM, ACTING'S A BIT
OF A DISASTER, ACTUALLY.

I CAN'T GET OUT OF THE CLASS,

AND SO I'M... I'M ABOUT
TO GO GET AN INCOMPLETE.

WHAT'S THE, UH, ASSIGNMENT?

I HAVE TO...

I HAVE TO BRING IN AN OBJECT
THAT'S IMPORTANT TO ME.

SO WHAT, ANYTHING?

YEAH, ANYTHING.

I HAVE TO...

I HAVE TO BRING IT IN,
AND I HAVE TO SIT THERE,

AND I HAVE TO TALK ABOUT IT IN
FRONT OF EVERYBODY, WHICH...

GOD.

YEAH. IT'S BAD.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'D BRING IN.

THIS NECKLACE, MAYBE.

IT WAS MY GRANDMOTHER'S.

YEAH. THAT WOULDN'T WORK FOR ME.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I THINK THE MOST
IMPORTANT THING TO ME

ISN'T AN OBJECT.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST BEING HERE.

WHAT? [CHUCKLES]

ARE YOU STILL HAVING THAT PARTY?

TONIGHT? YEAH.

GOOD.

I'LL... I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

OKAY.

OKAY.

Felicity: SALLY, I WOULD
ONLY SAY THIS TO YOU,

SO AFTER YOU
LISTEN TO THIS TAPE,

YOU HAVE TO ERASE IT.

BUT I CAN... ACTUALLY PICTURE...

WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE...

TO... BE WITH A MAN
FOR THE FIRST TIME...

SEXUALLY.

IF YOU'RE LAUGHING
AT ME RIGHT NOW,

I DON'T BLAME YOU.

BUT FIRST... ALTHOUGH
A, UH, HUGE SUCCESS

WITH HIS EXPLORATION
OF THE SANDWICH...

[LAUGHTER]

BEN WILL GRACE US
WITH JUST ONE MORE TRY.

I don't think I can do this.

Did you bring an object?

I'm just not so
comfortable doing this.

Okay.

This exercise is
ungraded, you know?

If you... If you don't participate,
you get an incomplete.

It's your call.

[CHAIR CREAKS]

[KEYS RATTLING]

[LAUGHTER]

[CLEARS THROAT]

[KEYS RATTLING]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

OKAY.

IT'S, UH...

A SMOOTH, HARD, ROUND LOOP...

CONNECTING THREE
SHINY, SHARP METAL...

NO. DON'T SAY "METAL."

[LAUGHTER]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

CONNECTING THREE...

UH, SHINY, SHARP,
HARD, THIN STRIPS,

WHICH HAVE TEETH, SORT OF.

OKAY.

NOW TALK ABOUT THE
OBJECT... SUBJECTIVELY.

[KEYS RATTLING]

THEY'RE MY KEYS TO MY APARTMENT.

WHY ARE THESE KEYS
SO IMPORTANT TO YOU?

[KEYS RATTLING]

I DON'T KNOW.

YEAH, THIS IS STUPID, SIR.
I SHOULDN'T EVEN DO THIS.

YOU'RE DOING FINE.

[CHAIR CREAKS]

TALK ABOUT THE OBJECT.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, FOR THIS TO MAKE SENSE,

YOU KINDA GOT TO UNDERSTAND
THAT MY FATHER AND I NEVER...

WELL, IT'S HIS
FAULT, IT'S MY FAULT...

HE'D SAY IT'S MY FAULT.

I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S NOT FAIR.

BUT WHATEVER.

WE DON'T HAVE A VERY GOOD THING.

BUT AS, UH, AS BAD AS
IT GETS FOR ME AND HIM,

I THINK IT... IT GETS EVEN,
UH, WORSE FOR MY MOM,

WHO'S SO INCREDIBLE.

SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

AND SHE'S...

YOU KNOW, SHE'S ELEGANT.

BUT SHE GETS SO SAD.

SHE GETS SO UPSET
WHEN ME AND MY DAD FIGHT

THAT HER FACE JUST GETS...

SHE JUST CRIES A LOT.

AND I'VE SEEN THESE
PICTURES OF THEM, TOO...

MY PARENTS...
BEFORE THEY HAD ME.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]
AND THEY LOOK SO HAPPY.

THEY LOOK SO HAPPY,

SO I KNOW IT WASN'T
ALWAYS LIKE IT IS NOW.

[KEYS RATTLING]

ANYWAY, I GUESS... IT'S
OBVIOUS THAT THESE KEYS MEAN

THAT I'M NOT HOME
ANYMORE, YOU KNOW,

WHICH IS GREAT FOR ME.

YOU KNOW, I'M SUBLETTING
FROM THIS GUY SEAN,

WHO'S THIS REALLY NICE,
FRUSTRATED ENTREPRENEUR GUY.

[BREATHES DEEPLY]

IT'S ME AND THREE OTHER GUYS.

YOU KNOW, IT'S COOL HAVING A PLACE
YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO HANG OUT.

IT'S A BIG PLACE.

BUT MORE THAN ALL THAT,

T-THESE KEYS MEAN THAT I'M
NOT CAUSING ANYTHING AT HOME.

I'M HERE RIGHT NOW,

SO MY DAD AND I DON'T HAVE TO
DEAL WITH EACH OTHER, YOU KNOW?

AND SO MY MOM ISN'T SO SAD.

I HOPE.

SO IT'S JUST GOOD.

IT'S BETTER FOR EVERYONE...
I REALLY BELIEVE THAT...

THAT I HAVE THESE KEYS.

[KEYS RATTLING]

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

[KEYS RATTLING]

[DOOR OPENS]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

DID YOU BUY THAT FOR
THE PARTY TONIGHT?

YEAH.

YOU GOING WITH YOUR
LITTLE FRIEND JULIE?

MY LITTLE FRIEND?

JULIE AND HER TIGER
BEAT BOYFRIEND?

JULIE DOESN'T HAVE A BOYFRIEND.

[PAPER RUSTLING]

IS BEN INVISIBLE TO YOU?

OH, BEN ISN'T HER BOYFRIEND.

YEAH, HE IS.

WHY DO YOU THINK SO?

WELL, I ALWAYS
SEE THEM TOGETHER.

OH. NO.

JULIE SAYS THERE'S
NOTHING GOING ON WITH THEM.

OH. CLEARLY I'VE HIT A NERVE.

YOU'VE HIT NO NERVE.

SHE'S JUST MY
FRIEND, THAT'S ALL.

WHATEVER.

JUST WATCH THEM NEXT
TIME THEY'RE TOGETHER...

THE WAY HE TALKS TO
HER, HOW HE GETS CLOSE,

THE WAY SHE LAUGHS AT HIS JOKES.

TRUST ME. THEY'RE COUCH-DANCING.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[UP-TEMPO DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOOR OPENS]

NICE, ISN'T IT?

YES, UH, VERY...

IT'S VERY TASTEFUL.

NOW ALL WE NEED ARE
ACTUAL PARTYGOERS.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC PLAYING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS]

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS]

OKAY.

HERE IT IS...

MINUTES BEFORE MY
FIRST COLLEGE PARTY.

[SIGHS] NEXT TAPE, I'LL TELL
YOU HOW IT TURNED OUT.

SO STAY TUNED.

[TAPE RECORDER CLICKS]

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

HEY, SO...

GOD. WOW.

REALLY? [CHUCKLES]

OH, YEAH.

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK REALLY NICE, TOO.

OH. YOU WERE KIND OF OBLIGATED
TO SAY THAT, BUT THANK YOU.

YEAH, I FEEL... I FEEL HANDSOME.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

SO... I HAVE A QUESTION.

WHAT?

UM, WE'RE TAKING MUSIC REQUESTS.
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING GOOD?

I-I HAVE SOME STUFF OVER
THERE, BUT I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S...

WHAT WAS THE QUESTION?

UM... WELL...

I-I WAS... I WAS
WONDERING, UM...

THANKS.

[CHUCKLES] SHE'S...

UH, I JUST THOUGHT I'D...
I'D, UH, GET ON LINE NOW

AND ASK YOU... TO DANCE...

WELL IN ADVANCE OF THE
PARTY ACTUALLY STARTING.

I'D LOVE THAT.

GOOD.

OKAY, THAT... THAT WENT EXACTLY
HOW IT WAS SUPPOSED TO GO.

[CHUCKLES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

YOU KNOW WHAT WORD
DISAPPEARS AFTER HIGH SCHOOL?

"TARDY."

I BET YOU 20 BUCKS YOU
NEVER HEAR THAT WORD AGAIN.

"TARDY." OH... "HALL PASS."

"HALL MONITOR."

YOU'VE GOT REALLY PRETTY EYES.

OH, MY GOD.

I WAS JUST GONNA SAY
THE SAME THING TO YOU.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

OR ARE YOU JUST ACTING?

[MUSIC CONTINUES IN
FRENCH, INDISTINCTLY]

[UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]

HEY, YOU CARE FOR A BEVERAGE?

WHAT IS IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC FADES]

HEY, THERE'S A GUY OVER THERE
THAT'S GETTING PRETTY DAMN SICK.

WHAT?

YOU'D BETTER COME
CHECK THIS OUT.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

♪ I'LL TURN... ♪

HEY, COME ON OVER!

HEY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT I MEAN IS EVERY
TIME I'M WITH YOU,

I KEEP GETTING THIS
HORRIBLE FEELING LIKE...

LIKE I CAN'T TRUST YOU.

AND EVERY TIME YOU TALK ABOUT
BEN, YOU JUST GET REALLY WEIRD,

AND I KNOW YOU KEEP SAYING
THERE'S NOTHING GOING ON,

BUT THAT'S JUST NOT
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE AT ALL.

I JUST... I REALLY FEEL
LIKE YOU'RE LYING TO ME.

AND THAT'S JUST... I DON'T
LIKE HOW THAT FEELS.

WELL, I DON'T LIKE THE
WAY IT FEELS, EITHER.

BEN WANTED TO GO OUT
WITH ME TONIGHT, OKAY?

BUT I TOLD HIM ABOUT
THIS STUPID PARTY

BECAUSE I KNEW THAT YOU WOULD BE
HERE AND IT'S WHAT YOU WOULD WANT.

HE CALLS ME AND HE
ASKS ME OUT A LOT.

AND EVERY TIME I SAY
NO. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

I AM JUST SICK OF PROTECTING
YOU, AND THAT'S THE TRUTH.

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

♪ AND NOW IT'S
HAPPENING TO ME... ♪

[MID-TEMPO R & B PLAYS] YOU KNOW WHAT
WOULD'VE MADE THIS PARTY EVEN BETTER?

♪ OOH ♪
LIKE, A BAND.

♪ MM-HMM ♪

NOEL, CAN I TALK TO
YOU FOR A MINUTE?

I CAN'T. I GOT TO GO TO
THE EMERGENCY ROOM.

THIS GUY'S HAVING SOME KIND
OF FREAK-OUT ALLERGIC REACTION.

TO WHAT?

I THINK ESTONIAN CHOCOLATE.

♪ ...SOME THINGS I
WANT TO TELL YOU ♪

♪ DON'T WORRY, IT'S OKAY ♪

♪ JUST WANT TO SAY
THAT I ADORE YOU ♪

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

♪ 'CAUSE YOU... ♪
NOTHING.

TOUGH DAY?

TOUGH DAY.

♪ ...FEEL THIS WAY AGAIN ♪

I HATE THESE THINGS.

ROOMFUL OF
JUNIOR-HIGH INSECURITIES,

EVERYONE PARANOID THAT PEOPLE
WILL BE MAKING JUDGMENTS ABOUT THEM.

♪ WHEN MY LIFE IS BAD... ♪

WE NEVER REALLY MET.

I'M ELENA.

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

SO WHERE IN CALIFORNIA
ARE YOU FROM?

[MUSIC STOPS] Man:
WHAT'S GOING ON?

Felicity on tape: IN MY LIFE.

I CAN ACTUALLY...

SALLY, I WOULD ONLY
SAY THIS TO YOU...

COULD SOMEONE
PLEASE TURN THAT OFF?

SO AFTER YOU
LISTEN TO THIS TAPE,

YOU HAVE TO ERASE IT.

SOMEONE TURN THAT OFF, PLEASE!

BUT I CAN... ACTUALLY PICTURE...

WHAT IT MIGHT BE LIKE

[Echoing] TO... BE WITH A MAN

FOR THE FIRST TIME... SEXUALLY.

IF YOU'RE LAUGHING AT ME
RIGHT NOW, I DON'T BLAME...

[TAPE PLAYER CLICKS]

[CHUCKLES]

[SIGHS]

Man: HEY.

[CASSETTE RATTLES]

IS THIS YOUR ROOM?

WHO ARE YOU?

[CHUCKLES] WHOA. HEY,
WE'RE JUST MAKING OUT.

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

[Voice breaking]
COULD YOU, UM...

MAKE OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE, PLEASE?

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

[DOOR OPENS]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

[LAUGHTER]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[DOOR OPENS]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING,
INDISTINCT VOICES]

MY JACKET. [CHUCKLES]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[DOOR OPENS]

[SNIFFS] HEY.

THAT CAME OUT ALL
WRONG... WHAT I SAID BEFORE.

COULD YOU, UM...

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE?

♪ WHEN YOU PASS ME IN THE HALL ♪

♪ I WAS... ♪

[DOOR CLOSES]

[SOBS]

[SCOUT'S "THE HOUSE
WE USED TO LIVE IN" PLAYS]

♪ HI, THERE ♪

♪ I HAVEN'T BEEN
BACK FOR SOME TIME ♪

♪ SO HOW'S IT HERE ♪

♪ IN THE WINTERTIME? ♪

♪ I FORGET ♪

♪ WON'T YOU SIT WITH ME AWHILE ♪

♪ TILL I REMEMBER ♪

♪ WHAT IT WAS THAT
MADE ME SMILE, OH ♪

♪ OH, WHAT IT WAS
THAT MADE ME SMILE ♪

♪ I SEE ♪

♪ THE HOUSE WE USED TO LIVE IN ♪

♪ I REMEMBER ♪

♪ I SAVED A STRAY OR TWO ♪

♪ WALK WITH ME DOWN ♪

♪ THEN BACK SO I
CAN GET AHEAD... ♪

DR. GARIBAY?

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I
DID TO MAKE YOU HATE ME.

EXCUSE ME?

WAS IT WHAT I SAID ABOUT
ORDERING THE BOOKS

OR... OR DID YOU
LOOK IN MY RECORD

AND SEE SOMETHING
THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE?

I'VE BEEN A PROFESSOR
FOR A LONG TIME...

TWICE AS LONG AS YOU'VE
BEEN ALIVE, PLUS A FEW YEARS.

YOU WANT TO BE A TEACHER'S PET?

SIGN UP FOR MR. JERGENSEN.
HE'S NOT TENURED.

NO, I-I DON'T...

SIR, I DON'T NEED
TO BE TEACHER'S PET.

THEN YOU'LL DO JUST FINE.

THE BEAUTY IS, YOU DON'T
NEED TO BE OKAY WITH ME

TO LEARN SOMETHING IN MY CLASS.

MY ADVICE IS THIS...

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME.

WORRY ABOUT YOU.

[SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE]

HEY.

[SNIFFS]

I, UH...

I HEARD ABOUT THAT, UH...

COULD WE NOT TALK ABOUT IT?

YEAH. SURE.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[INDISTINCT VOICES]

THANKS FOR THE CHOCOLATE.

SO WE'LL, UH,

TAKE A RAIN CHECK ON
THAT DANCE, WHICH IS OKAY.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

[KNOCKING CONTINUES]

[DOOR OPENS]

Hey, it's Ben.

[HINGES CREAK]

Sorry. I thought
you might still be up.

[Sleepily] OH.

OH, YOU CAN COME IN.

YEAH?

[DOOR CLOSES]

I was only at the, uh,

I was only at the party
for a little while, but...

I don't know. I think people
had a pretty good time.

WELL, THAT'S NICE.

DID YOU HEAR MY TAPE?

No. Not really.

YEAH, YOU DID.

[EXHALES DEEPLY]

SO, HOW'D THAT, UM...

THAT ACTING THING GO?

Oh, I should... I should
thank you, sort of.

You sort of helped
me out with that.

I DID?

Yeah.

It went okay. It
was pretty good.

THAT'S GREAT.

Yeah.

I'm getting the hell out
of that class, though.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So look, I, uh, I
got a favor to ask.

When I was...

When I was doing that
thing, uh, for Drama, I, uh,

I sort of left my keys
in the classroom.

YOU LOST YOUR KEYS?

Yeah.

And none of my roommates
are home, so, um...

do you think I
could stay in here?

I mean, I'd stay on the floor.

YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN MY ROOM?

Yeah.

I mean, if that's cool

and if your roommate
doesn't mind, yeah.

OH. YEAH.

I MEAN, YOU CAN
SLEEP IN MEGHAN'S BED.

SHE, UM, SHE'S
NEVER HERE AT NIGHT.

All right. Thank you.

Mm-hmm.

Okay. I'm gonna go pass out.

Yeah. Me too.

Okay.

Sally: DEAR FELICITY,

OKAY, BRACE YOURSELF.

A GUY ASKED ME OUT.

HE'S A TEACHER AT THE
ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

HIS NAME'S EMMETT,
FOR GOD'S SAKES.

BUT I SAID NO FOR NOW.

I'M STILL NOT READY
TO MOVE PAST JOHN.

IT'S SORT OF LIKE WHAT YOU
WERE SAYING ON YOUR LAST TAPE,

HOW, ON THE ONE HAND,
EXPECTATIONS CAN INSPIRE YOU,

BUT, THEN AGAIN, THEY
CAN REALLY LET YOU DOWN.

I'M JUST NOT READY TO
BE LET DOWN QUITE YET.

BUT YOU KNOW ME.

I STILL HAVE HOPE...

THAT ONE DAY, MAYBE
EVEN PRETTY SOON,

I'LL TAKE A CHANCE AGAIN

IN THE HORRIBLE
FACE OF EXPECTATION.

AND MAYBE... IT'LL BE WORTH IT.

[INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS]

[MUSIC ENDS]