Father Knows Best (1954–1960): Season 4, Episode 7 - The Indispensable Man - full transcript

[Announcer] Here are...

with Elinor Donahue, Billy Gray,

and Lauren Chapin in...

Hey, Dad, watch
me get this kickoff

before you go in the house.

Wait till I get out
of your range.

You don't have to worry
about closing the door.

Well, your intention may
be better than your aim.

I don't want to have to
buy a new windshield.

- Here. Hold the ball, Kathy.
- Okay.

Watch what you're
doing, will you?



It's not going to
explode. Just relax.

I am relaxed. It
just doesn't show.

You're tipping the ball.

How can I kick it straight
if you don't hold it straight?

- You're making me nervous.
- You're nervous?

Hold it just like this,

or you'll throw
me completely off.

Temperamental, isn't he, kitten?

The things I go
through for football.

Quiet.

- Say, you're getting
pretty good!
- How about that?

I've been kicking them
like that all afternoon.

No fooling. I just don't
miss. Do I, Kathy? Tell him.

He's monotonous.



Get the ball, will you? You
want to hold one for me, Dad?

I better go in the house
and say hello to your mother.

This won't take a second. I
got another ball right here.

This way, I don't lose
time in between the kicks.

- Hold one for me, please?
- All right. Just once.

Oh, wait a minute. [chuckles]

These old knees are getting
allergic to this driveway.

- How's that?
- Well, you've almost got it.

But... Here... Just...
There. Hold it just like that.

- Now, don't move.
- No.

Come on. Kick.

Just like a guided missile
heading for the target.

I can do it with my eyes shut
and one leg tied behind me.

Well, they say few
things are impossible

with diligence and skill.

But let me see you kick
with one leg tied behind you.

Oh, no kidding,
Dad. I've got it made.

I'm ready to unveil
Springfield High's top kicker.

Hurry up, Kathy.
My toe's getting itchy.

I can't hurry. I have to
take it out of the rose bush.

I don't know which is worse
on flowers and shrubbery...

A boy and a football or a goat.

[bleating laugh]

You can put on the
frosting anytime, Mother.

All right, dear. While I do
this, will you make a salad?

Mm-hmm.

Ah, lots of activity
around the old homestead.

- Hi, Dad.
- Hello, dear.

Hello, princess.

- How've you been, honey?
- Oh, fine.

Busy as usual.

I suddenly got an
urge to bake a cake.

Well, a very commendable urge.

What kind of dressing
do you want, Father?

Uh, sour cream,
French or Roquefort?

Toss in a little of
each. I'm hungry.

Ew, Father.

Uh, Jim, Kathy
staked a claim on that.

Why? She can do
without the calories.

With my trim figure,
it doesn't matter.

Oh.

Jim, stop it.

Well, what do you think of it?

Beautiful.

Looks like a big snow mountain

growing strawberries on top.

[Bud] Kathy, will you
hold the ball straight?

I was just watching old
dead-eye Bud out there.

You know, if he
keeps on practicing,

he may develop
into an all-American.

Oh, no! After all
the time I spent on it!

Why do I ever try?

If that isn't the
absolute, ultimate end!

Bud Anderson, you're grounded!

I told him to take his
football someplace else.

I'm sorry, honey.
It's a shame to spoil

a beautiful dessert like this.

Anybody see a football in here?

Get him out! Get him out of here

before I dump it right
on top of his head!

- Don't you play innocent.
- What did I do?

Your dessert,

with our compliments.

What kind of cake is that?

Oh, it's a kind of an
upside-down cake.

How exactly did it happen?

Gosh, I'm awful sorry, Mom.

But technically, it
was Kathy's fault.

My fault?

Don't tell me Kathy can
kick a bull's-eye like this.

I don't kick. All I
do is hold the ball.

She didn't hold
the ball straight.

I kicked it straight
like I always do,

but it was the way she held it.

All right. From now on,

the Anderson property's
out of bounds for footballs.

Bud, there's a great big roomy
football field on the school grounds.

Why don't you practice there?

I'm going to, Dad,
starting tomorrow.

The reason I've
been kicking at home

is because it's sort
of top secret stuff.

When you're kicking a football
all over the neighborhood,

how can you keep it a secret?

You know what I mean.

I didn't want Coach
Royal to see me

until I was really ready.

Being a kicking specialist
is my only chance

to play with those big
gorillas on the team.

You play for
Springfield High? Ha!

Well, what's so funny
about that, gigglehead?

Springfield hasn't got
a good placekicker.

I talked to the coach today,

and he's gonna watch me
kick tomorrow, in uniform.

Well, I hope Coach isn't
baking a cake at the time.

Bud says he has an educated toe.

I wondered where his
education was going.

Very funny.

Look, aren't we making it pretty
difficult for Mother to navigate?

Yes. Will everyone
please go out of the kitchen

unless you feel like
making yourself useful?

Just a minute, Mom. I'm
gonna go out there tomorrow

all suited up in my
shoulder pads and everything

and show the coach
how good I am.

Good kickers don't grow
on trees, you know, Dad.

And when he sees he has an expert
that he can depend on in the clutches...

I've been practicing nothing
but kicking since way last spring.

I'll bet I kicked
a million of them.

I figured it was my only
chance to make the team.

What I've seen you do
isn't bad, Bud. Not bad at all.

I can do better as soon as
I work out with the squad.

You need a little
polish, of course.

A few pointers to develop
your form and timing.

I'll do anything you say.
Just give me a chance.

10 good ones out of 12
tries is a very good start.

We'll go easy on the
fundamentals this week.

Don't want to throw you
out for Saturday's game.

You mean you'll use
me in Saturday's game?

We may have to.

We may need those
extra points to win.

Anything you say, Coach.

All right. You'll report with
the squad every afternoon.

I suppose you know the rules.

No sweets. Stay on
a high-protein diet...

Eggs, milk, greens,
plenty of lean meat.

And in bed every night by
9:00. That's very important.

- Yes, sir.
- Oh, by the way,
how are the grades?

- Oh, I'm legal on grades. Very eligible.
- Good.

Now, let's see you
take another crack at it

before we knock off.

Hey, Jerry.

You and Biff get set up for Bud.

I've been watching that
kid Bud Anderson, Coach.

Looks like you really
got something there.

Yeah. Could be.

That boy's really sharp.

That kid's phenomenal.

He must have a radar
contraption in his boot.

Yeah. He shows a lot of promise.

All right. All
linemen over here.

Hey, Anderson,
how about a picture?

You mean me?

Who else?

You won't need that.

Oh, if I'm gonna
be a football player,

I gotta look like one.

It's gonna look good.

Aaah!

Relax, kid. You frighten me.

I have a better idea, Dotty.

Why don't we shop
Saturday morning,

and then have lunch
at the Blue Goose,

and go right from there
to the football game?

Okay with you?

Thanks a lot for
the ride home, girls.

- Bye.
- Oh, just a minute, Dotty.

- Yeah.
- Bud, don't you see
I'm on the phone?

So go ahead and yap.

- Come and watch
the practice again tomorrow.
- What?

- Yeah. Bye.
- Yeah.

Hang up, ugly.

Nothing you've got
to say is as important

as what I've gotta say.

Mom! Dad!

Dad, I did it! I told
you I could do it.

- The coach put me on the team.
- Already?

Well, that's wonderful,
son. Congratulations.

- What happened?
- Mom, I'm gonna be playing
in the game Saturday.

- Me in person.
- All right, all right.

Don't start scrimmage in here.

Dad, you know, I kicked 11
out of 13 attempts this afternoon.

I was sensational. Boy, was
that coach ever impressed.

Well, apparently, the coach
wasn't the only one impressed.

Who were those
chicks in the convertible?

Oh, just some hero-worshippers.

They wanted to bring me
home. It was a big deal.

- Where's your car?
- I left it at school.

I'll pick it up tomorrow.

Bud, you should've come
home in your own car.

Why should I drive my own car

when a bunch of women
want to bring me home?

Let them get a thrill.

What's this gabby
Casanova saying?

I'm on the team. I'm gonna be
getting those extra points Saturday.

- Oh, Bud.
- I'm just telling you
what the coach said.

- You're kidding.
- Kidding?

Then what about that guy who
took my pictures for the newspaper?

I'm practically a celebrity.

Well, let's not
get carried away.

Before you start blowing
that king-sized horn of yours,

you're gonna have to go out
there and prove yourself under fire.

- Where's the fire?
- Right there.

And it looks like it's
gonna be hard to put out.

- Hi.
- Hi.

What did Bud do?

He goes out for one day, and
he makes the football team.

Why, Bud, you're so
fabulous! It's fabulous!

Can I tell everybody I
used to hold the ball for you?

Sure. Enjoy yourself, kid.

It makes everything
I've gone through worth it.

Yes, kitten. Someday, you can
look down Memory Lane and say,

"I first held the
ball for the toe

that kicked the goal
that won the game."

Well, who'll help set
the table for the hand

that fixed the dinner
so everybody can eat?

Shall I lay out the sterling
and the best china?

That's another thing, Mom.
I'm on a very special diet.

Nothing but porterhouse
steaks and stuff like that.

I gotta be in bed by 9:00.
That's very important.

Gotta take care of us
top athletes, you know.

There goes my boy.

You think the house will
be big enough to hold him?

We may have to raise the ceiling

until the swelling
goes out of his head.

Yes, we finished dinner.

Oh, we can come
over for a little while.

Oh, I'm dying to see it, Myrtle.

All right. We'll be there in
a few minutes. Goodbye.

Dishes are all finished, Mother.

I think I'll say good night now.

- So soon?
- Mm-hmm. Good night, Father.

Good night? I thought it
was Bud who was in training.

I'm not going to sleep yet.

I have to study my
psychology, and it prostrates me,

so I just may as
well do it lying down.

- Good night, dear.
- Good night.

Myrtle and Ed want us to run
over and see their living room.

- Ed's just redecorated it.
- Oh, Ed just wants
to show me up

because he's handy
with a paintbrush.

Well, I got just five minutes

to get my golden toes
between the sheets.

Pleasant dreams.

- Good night, Bud.
- Good night.

We're going next
door for a little while.

Okay.

[crunch]

Hey, put a muffler
on that apple, will you?

Yes. You'll wake up Kathy.

It'll be gone before
I get upstairs.

- [phone rings]
- I'll get it.

Hello? Oh, hi, Claude.

Bud, did you know your
picture's in tomorrow's paper?

Dad just brought
home the early edition.

It is? No kidding?
What's it say about me?

There's practically a
whole column about you.

It says you're the hope of...

It says you're the hope
of Springfield High.

Man, are you a big wheel.

The hope of Springfield High.

No kidding? Hey,
Mom, did you hear that?

- My picture's already
in the paper.
- Really?

Yeah. I'm gonna go out and
buy every paper I can find.

Thanks, Claude.

Well, wait a minute.

What about this, uh,
"in bed by 9:00" routine?

Dad, if I don't see that paper
tonight, I won't sleep a wink.

And how can I play football
if I don't get any sleep?

Look, don't try to
rationalize it with me.

I didn't make
the training rules.

- That's between you
and the coach.
- Dad, I can't wait.

Well, they'll deliver our
paper in the morning.

You can admire yourself then.

You don't understand.

They've got a whole
column about me.

This is the biggest thing
that's ever happened to me.

I know that, but rigid training

is the price you pay
for being famous.

[chuckles] Come on. Let's go.

Off to bed, big shot.

[Claude] Bud, did you know
your picture's in tomorrow's paper?

Your picture's in the paper.

There's a whole
column about you.

Man, are you a big wheel.

Big wheel.

It says you're the hope
of Springfield High.

I'll just have to make up
my training in the morning

and sleep a half hour later.

- Good morning, Father.
- Hi.

Oh, I was just
gonna go out for that.

I beat you to it, princess.

What do you think of this
world-shaking announcement?

[Betty] "New Kicking Sensation."

Why, Bud's really important.

Yep, the fellow
who was the despair

of his kindergarten
hopscotch team

is now the hope
of Springfield High.

Is that Bud's picture?
Let me see it, Daddy.

Yeah, you're very important
this morning, young lady.

You're a celebrity sister.

Not bad-looking
for a boy, is he?

What's holding you up?

I've been waiting
to see the paper.

I'm sorry, honey. I
got waylaid out here.

Mother, take a look
at your illustrious son

and my brother.

He's my brother, too.

You thought he wasn't
good until he got famous.

Well, if you want to know

how famous he's
getting to be, listen to this.

- "Coach Royal unv..."
- "Coach Royal unveils..."

Oh, you go ahead.

"unveils new kicking sensation.

"Springfield High's hopes
for a city football championship

"took a giant step toward
realization yesterday afternoon

"when cagey Coach
Royal took the wraps

off his new secret
weapon, Bud Anderson."

Now that he's a secret weapon,

does that mean
he'll get drafted?

He may be by the Chicago
Bears or the Green Bay Packers.

Read the rest, Father.

"The mighty mite
sent the pigskin oval

"sizzling through the uprights
with astonishing regularity,

"causing Coach Royal
to breathe easily again

"from air containing
nothing less

"than the sweet
smell of success.

"Young Anderson is the best
prospect seen around these parts

in many a day."

Sounds like a press
agent gone berserk.

You can't get away from the fact

that Bud must've been simply
terrific out there yesterday.

I should've saved that cake
he ruined and had it mounted.

Can I take the paper up to Bud

- and show it to him?
- Isn't he up yet?

I thought he'd be out sitting
on a curb when the paper came.

I'll bet he forgot
to set his alarm.

- I'll go wake him up.
- I said it first.

- I get to take the paper.
- Let's all go up.

We'll surprise him.

Lead the way, kitten!

Dad, I got the papers
and came right home.

I was in bed by 9:30.

The coach didn't say 9:30, son.

The point is if you
were out after 9:00,

you broke training rules.

- I got plenty of sleep.
- I'll bet.

You probably stayed awake half
the night reading about yourself.

I don't know why those
training rules should apply to me.

By what strange line of
reasoning did you arrive at that?

You didn't feel
that way last night.

Look, Mom, all I have
to do is go on the field

after the touchdown and
kick the important extra point.

I don't even have
to get my jersey dirty.

You haven't kicked
an extra point yet,

and you've already
broken training.

Lay off, will you?

None of you seem to understand
that what I do for the team

makes me sort of a special case.

Oh, I doubt if the coach
considers you so special, son.

Of course, there's
one way to find out.

You can explain to him
what happened last night.

And open up a big can of peas?

Nobody saw me out last night.
There wasn't a soul on the street.

So you think that makes
everything just dandy.

Well, I think it's
excusable. I'm only human.

And all of a sudden,
I'm a big name in football.

So be big enough to tell
your coach what happened.

- But, Mom...
- It's the honorable thing
to do.

- Mom...
- Excuse me. I, uh,

better get down
to the office now.

- Have a good day.
- Mm-hmm.

- Bye, everybody.
- Bye, Daddy.

Goodbye, Father.

Oh, Bud, uh,

a great philosopher once said,
"Fame and honor are twins."

That means when
you achieve fame,

responsibility goes with it.

[door closes]

Okay, I'll tell the coach.

But I don't think I did
anything so wrong.

My conscience doesn't hurt me.

How can it?

Your conscience is smothered
under newspaper headlines.

[boys chattering]

Say, Coach, can I talk
to you after practice?

Oh, all right, Bud. Wait here.

- Hey, Jay, start that play
from the single-wing.
- [whistle blows]

Say, what's the
matter with you today?

Hi, Todd.

Are you a flash in
the pan or something?

You kicked better yesterday.

I didn't have my mind
on it. I got problems.

You get a big
write-up in the paper,

women squeal every
time you kick the ball,

and you've got problems?

Give me that kind of a problem.

I broke training last night.

Yeah? Who reported you?

Nobody saw me.

So what are you worried about?

I gotta tell the coach.

Are you cracked?

If nobody saw you, you're
the same as innocent.

A man's innocent
until he's proved guilty,

so why confess to anything?

I've got to. I
promised my folks.

- I'm in real trouble.
- No.

You've got nothing
to worry about.

What do you think
the coach is gonna do?

Kick a star off the team?

He needs you for
those extra points.

- Well, yeah, but...
- And he can't refuse
to let you play

after you've been so honest.

I guess it wasn't very
honest to break training.

But you'll be
squealing on yourself.

What more can he ask?

Uh-oh. Here he comes.

[Boy] 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.

Hiya. Sit down.

Your kicking was a
little spotty today, Bud.

- Something bothering you?
- Oh, I couldn't concentrate.

I was thinking of how to tell
you what I have to tell you.

Yeah?

I... I broke
training last night.

Oh?

I was anxious to see that
picture of me and the write-up,

so I went out after
9:00 to get the paper.

Well, that's, uh,
very unfortunate.

Well, you can see how it is.

I mean, all this publicity
and stuff's new to me.

Yeah. I can see where it
would be quite a temptation.

I'm real sorry I did.

Of course, none of
the other guys saw me.

- They don't even know about it.
- Now, don't worry.

I'm not gonna make
an example out of you

in front of the entire team.

I'm sure they don't
have to be reminded

that we just don't
break training.

Believe me, Coach,
it'll never happen again.

I'm sure it won't.

I really appreciate your
overlooking it this once, Coach.

Thanks a million.

Well, you evidently
don't understand, Bud.

I'm not overlooking it.

You mean I won't be able to
play in the game tomorrow?

That's about the size of it.

Who'll kick the extra point?

I know it'll be difficult, Bud,

but we'll just try to
get along without you.

All right, Dad. I did what you
told me, and what did it get me?

Just the shortest football
career on record, that's all.

I'm sorry, Bud, but you did
the only thing you could do.

On the team one
day... Pfftt... off the next.

We're more proud of you

for telling the coach
that you broke training

than if you'd won the game
single-handed and not told him.

Big deal.

[Betty] Well, you certainly
put the team on a spot.

What if the game does
depend on an extra point?

What'll they do without you?

Yeah. Wait till they need me.

Wait till the fans start
yelling to put Anderson in.

Then Coach Royal will
be on the hot seat, not me.

Oh, come now, Bud.
You made a mistake,

and you'll have to pay
for it like anybody else.

You know what I think?

I think the coach is
trying to scare me.

Maybe I won't play
even if he does ask me.

I may just walk off the field,

go to the showers,

and leave him holding the bag.

Well, that's a switch.

If we lose, it's gonna
be the coach's fault.

I can just hear the coach now,

down on his knees,
pleading with you.

Oh, please, Bud, Mighty
Mite, don't let us down.

Don't you kid yourself.

If he gets in a jam, he'll
put me in. You'll see.

Hope springs eternal.

If you're smart, you'll make it
easier on everybody by staying away

and telling people you've got
a charley horse or something.

- I don't have a charley horse.
- Well, I'd get one.

So, fellas, this
is the one to win.

Play heads-up
football. Tackle hard.

Watch those passes.

They've got some real ball hogs.

Well, I guess
that about does it.

The rest is up to you.

Go out there and give
it everything you've got.

Good luck.

Let's go, boys.

- Coach?
- Yes, Bud?

I, uh, wanted to let you know
I'd be around if you need me.

That's very thoughtful of you.

Maybe I ought to go
out and sit on the bench

with the squad just in case.

Oh, uh, by the way,

I told the boys you
aren't feeling so good.

- I don't suppose you are.
- Well...

Which saves answering
a lot of questions.

Why don't you go watch the
game from the stands, huh?

[crowd chanting]

[crowd cheering]

♪♪ [marching band]

[Claude] Bud! Hey, Bud!

Haven't you been
watching the game?

- I'm not interested.
- Springfield just
tied the score.

It's 6 to 6, and
they've called time-out.

Now they're trying to figure out

who's gonna kick
for the extra point.

And this is when they need
me. I knew this would happen.

Why don't you go out there
where they can see you?

Coach knows where
he can find me.

Springfield's in a huddle now.

There are only about
nine seconds left to play.

The coach is
looking over this way.

Now they're lining up
in kicking formation.

It looks like Jerry's gonna
try for the extra point.

Jerry? He's never
kicked a goal in his life.

The coach must've
flipped his wig.

He's just being stubborn.
Just wait a minute.

Everybody'll see what a boner
he made not putting me in.

Jerry's calling signals.

The ball snapped.
Jerry takes it.

He isn't gonna kick.

- He's running with it. It's an end run.
- [crowd cheering]

He's on the ten!
He's on the five!

- He's over the goal line!
- [cheering intensifies]

They thought Springfield
was gonna kick.

But we fooled them!

Yahoo! We won! We won!

Pow!

We won! We won!

I thought something
cool would taste good

after all the cheering we did.

Good. My throat feels
like it was sandblasted.

- Lemonade?
- No, thanks.

Oh, come on, Bud. It isn't
the end of the world, you know.

It's worse.

I'll be an outcast after
all that newspaper stuff,

and then they win
the game without me.

Well, you've learned one lesson.

You found out there's no such
thing as the indispensable man.

I know.

I guess if I'd have kicked
the winning point today,

there would've been
no living with me.

- [doorbell rings]
- Will you answer it, dear?

If I don't get the
roast in the oven,

we won't have any dinner.

- Oh, hello, Coach.
- Hello, Jim.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

Hi, Coach.

Uh, congratulations
on the victory.

How about celebrating with
a little glass of lemonade?

- Thanks. The boys
were great, weren't they?
- Yes.

Sorry you couldn't be in
on it this afternoon, Bud.

They sure didn't need me.

Of course we needed you.

We didn't have anybody to
kick. We had to try an end run.

It was a long chance
to take. Could've failed.

You could've kicked
that point easy.

That means if we'd
have lost the game,

it would've been my fault.

I... I see now when
I broke training,

I was just being unfair
to the rest of the guys.

I don't deserve
to be on the team.

Bud, I had you slated
for the team again

the minute you came and
admitted breaking training.

But you had to be taught
an unforgettable lesson.

- You mean I can play again?
- Next Saturday.

It takes a good man to
admit he's done wrong.

Well, that was my dad's idea.

Well, uh, thanks
for the lemonade.

Thanks for stopping by, Coach.

See you at practice Monday, Bud.

Yeah, Coach.

I'll see you Monday, and...

Well, thanks for everything.

- Goodbye, Jim.
- Goodbye.

Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA