Farscape (1999–2003): Season 4, Episode 8 - I Shrink Therefore I Am - full transcript

Bounty Hunters capture most of the crew. Only John and Noranti are free. Crichton must work with Scorpius to save the crew. When the bounty hunters shrink the crew, and hold them in containers on the bounty hunters, Crichton must figure a way to get rid of the hunters without harming the crew.

Aeryn. She's carrying my child.
My-my DNA.

Aeryn isn't sure if the child
is John Crichton's.

A relationship it's
based on trust.

I'm so sorry.

Who saved your life, who?

I did.

What's he doing here?

He wants asylum.


I gave my word that he
would not be harmed.

Put your weapons down.

Why did you come here?

To safeguard John Crichton,

amongst other things.

I will find them again
and when I do,

they will pay for this

Distillate of Laka.

One whiff, and the
pain is gone.

For a time.

It'll help you forget
about Aeryn.

And now, on Farscape.

Yo, Pilot, you there?

Testing, one, two, three,
uno, dos, tres.

Pilot, I got a ton of
groceries to unload.


Damn, I figured they'd
be in range.

Are you eager to see the
others again?

Naw, it hadn't been that long.

Still, you miss Aeryn.

Or don't you?

Damn, it's been a few arns
since I thought about her.

Then my remedy must be working.

Take it for as long
as you need it.

Ah, I don't...
I don't need it.

Just takes the edge off.


Pilot, there you are.
It's about time.

Hey look, get all the hands
down to the hangar.

I got a boatload of crap
for you guys.

Unfortunately, nobody is available
to assist you at the moment.

Well, what are they doing?
Watching Jeopardy?

Get them off their butts.

Let me talk to Captain
James T. D'Argo.

Captain James T. D'Argo!

Ka D'Argo is currently helping
Rygel with his... laundry,

and Aeryn's writing some...


Uh-huh. What about, ah,
Chiana and Sikozu?

Enjoying each other's company.

Preparing a meal for...
everyone but Rygel.

He's... not hungry.

Right, well tell 'em to save me
a plate. I'm starving. Pod out.

Now isn't that lovely.

Everyone is getting on so well?

Oh, crickets.
Something's wrong.

Maybe the game's not over with or
Scorpy's really loose on the ship.


Moya's got gate crashers.

An unprecedented reward
is offered for information

leading to the capture
of John Crichton.

If he is taken alive, 15 million
currency pledges. If dead...

Bay Two.

Acknowledged. Prepare loading
Bay Two for landing.

Crichton. I've... prepared
Bay Two for landing.

Yeah, just give me a minute to
get these crates locked down.

My mixture is ready.

You sure you're gonna
be okay out there?

This will keep me in a vacuum
coma for at least three arns.

It's most relaxing.
You should try it sometime.

No, thanks. I'm not a
big fan of vacuum.

Stand ready. He'll dock
within 30 microns.


His approach vector's wrong.

Evacuate our boarding craft.

We're coming under attack.

Full defensive alert.

My name is John Crichton,
an astronaut.

Three years ago I got shot
through a wormhole.

I'm in a distant part
of the universe

aboard this living ship of
escaped prisoners,

my friends.

I've made enemies.

Powerful, dangerous.

Now all I want is to
find a way home

to warn Earth.

Look upward and share
the wonders I've seen.

He's destroyed our
boarding craft.

I begin to see why his
bounty's so high.

Keep searching all tiers.

He's aboard somewhere.

Nobody could have survived
that explosion.

Crichton must be dead.

Prak! Crichton's alive.

And ingenious.

Tier nine clear,
moving to tier ten.

Who the frell are you?

Your captor.

Only temporarily.

Let's not prolong this.

Tell Crichton to come
to the Command.

Tell him yourself.

The longer it takes for me
to capture Crichton,

the greater the likelihood that
one of you will be damaged.

Well, there's no likelihood
we're going to help you.

You're certain you
won't cooperate?

Why don't you undo these cuffs and
just see how much I wanna cooperate?

- Leave him alone.
- You gain nothing.

Probably, but it
costs me nothing.

I could improve those
hideous Luxan features.

That would be messier than pain
cuffs, but far more entertaining.

Crichton, surrender at once.

You won't be harmed.

We want you alive.

But if you resist, we'll take
it out on your shipmates.

Like so.

Sir, nothing can be salvaged
of our boarding craft.

Shall I re-enable one of the
Transport Pods?

No. It's slow and weaponless.

We'd be a target for every other
bounty hunter in the sector.

I'll send a transmission
to the Command Carrier requesting pickup.

It's too soon.

We'll tell Grayza to come for us
only when we have captured Crichton.

As you wish.


You have something?



you know what, I think
we should negotiate.

No, I really think we
should negotiate.



It's no good. He's gone.

But we know he's in the ducts.

We could pursue him up there.

Only by making ourselves
too vulnerable.

No, we'll draw him out.

Bring him to us.

Search this Tier.


You know your comrade.

Tell me which one of you
does he care for most?

Me, of course.

Aeryn, of course, probably
Chiana next.

Where will Crichton go now?

Center Chamber for a
nice, hot raslak.

He'll go to his quarters,
gather all his weapons.

That Tarkan Shield Belt
should help the odds.

Then he'll head for
Pilot's Den.

What are you staring at,

Find Crichton's quarters.

Search for weapons and a
shielding device.

- Crichton's quarters.
- Acknowledged.

He'll also try to
free the pilot.

Isn't that right, Crichton?

Secure the Pilot's Den.
Be ready.

Got it.

Hey, if I could distract him,
can you make a break for it?

You know, that run on walls
trick thing?

Ya know? Go hide in the
Neural Cluster or something?

Not with these frelling
cuffs on, I can't.

These what cuffs?

I am so glad we extended
your vocabulary.


Play along.

Oh, okay.

I have a very compelling
argument for letting us go.


Soldier boy. Come here.

Hey, don't you get hot
in that armor?

Are you trying to entice me?


If I wanted you.

I'd take you.

Should I show you?
- Yeah.

Leave her alone.

Or maybe both of you.

No, please! Don't hurt them.


Report. Any sign of Crichton?

- I'm in his quarters.
- He hasn't come near.


Scorpius, you son of a bitch.


Playing possum, huh?

You think you can get any of
your brothers up and running?

Good boy.

Be quiet, though.

No singing.

I'm gonna go scrounge up
a blunderbuss.

Oh, relax.

You'll see Crichton
sooner or later.

A microt before he kills you.

I admire such confidence from
the weak and helpless.


I'm not your enemy. Be calm.

Oh, I'm calm.

I'm just a little twitchy
'cause, uh, you sold us out.

Nothing of the kind.

What, it's just coinkidink
you're running on the loose?

The only reason I escaped capture is because
the bounty hunters do not know I'm here.

By the time they went to
my cell I was not in it.

Now how'd that happen?

Oh, I know, I know.
We forgot to lock the door.

The cell door was wholly

What you saying?

You opened it with your
bare hands?

Gloved hands, yes.

You mean you could've got out
anytime you wanted?

I never wanted to.

But by the time our attackers
arrived, I had to.

Whoever they are, they have managed to
capture Moya's crew in a matter of microts.

But they must not capture you.

I don't cut and run.

We could not run if we wished.

They've immobilized all escape
craft with magnetic locks,

And disabled the DRDs,
all except for that one.

Yep, 1812's on a different

He's not from Moya.

But if he restarts the others,
we'll have more firepower.

Don't have time for that.

I'm going...

wabbit hunting.

You can't take them
all at once.

How dumb do you think I am?

You take 'em down one by one,
the Die Hard way.

By luring them into an ambush.

You could do with some

You really think our

has progressed that far?

Just remember whose
side you're on.

This is John Crichton,
paging the head Cylon.

Pick up the phone,
Imperious Leader.


How pleasant to hear from you.

Let's have a little chat.
First off, money.

We can pay you more than
the Peacekeepers will.

No deal.

Surrender at once.

And why would I do that?

To reduce the suffering of
your crewmates.

It's the only choice you have.

Don't doubt for a microt that
you will be captured.

You know, for a guy with no
mouth you sure talk big.


Why don't you come down here
and find me, Gort?

Klaatu barada niktu.

Mission accomplished, John.

Screw you.

He's on a lower tier, somewhere
in the atmospheric system.

Check all the airflow chambers.

Are you looking for someone?

Thank you, John.

Como estas, la cucaracha.

You didn't expect me to give ya
a loaded weapon, did ya?

Well, yes.

Let's have a look at this guy.

Damn, what the hell's this?

It's like... Mr. Pumpkinhead.

Organic core.

Bioengineered armor shell.

Crunchy on the outside, chewy on
the inside. How are your ribs?

As if you cared.
My armor worked, barely.

One down.

Five to go.

And you have a weapon
that works.

Nope, this bazooka's
out of ammo.

You can have it.

I may well have joined
the wrong side.

Dead? How?

Multiple blasts from a
large-yield weapon.

So. Crichton's more formidable
than I thought.

I told you, but would
you listen?

No. They never listen.

Not too late to cut your
losses and run.

Oh, it's still early.

Initiate the containment plan.

All right, I got Wynonna,
an extra Pulse Pistol,

two Pulse Rifles,

two DRDs, maybe four.

Eight, 16, or 64,
it won't be enough.

Well, there's always the pulse
chamber overload trick.

If you can lure them
close enough.

I'm gonna need a volunteer
for a dangerous mission.

The torment continues.

No one asked you.

You, get to your feet.

What are you going to
do with them?

I told you to be silent.

What the frell?

Get up.

We’re not going for a little
walk, are we?

Something like that.

Hey, hey, frellnik.

Uh, before you do whatever
you've got in mind, let's talk.

If this is about currency, I assure
you that I can more than match

whatever you're being
paid for me.


Delivering you dead
would cost me,

but it might just be worth it.

Tell Crichton what you
just witnessed.

Crichton, don't talk,
just listen.

They've somehow reduced
D'Argo in size.

He's alive, but he's no larger
than a hand length,

and he's imprisoned inside
the head bounty hunter.

And the rest of your crewmates
will follow.

So put away your weaponry.

Killing one of us means you'll be
killing one or more of your friends.

Do you understand?

Aeryn's right. Don't answer.
Keep them guessing.

You see how hopeless it is?

Face the inevitable.

Give yourself up.

Crichton, the device appears
to be activated by

a combination of numbers
on the handset.

I'm told you care for her.

So stop fighting and you'll
save her life.

You can't even consider
giving up.

Grayza will not let
any of you live.

I'm not giving up. And you're
the one that looks like crap.

Oh, don't worry about me.

I'm merely overheating.

So we've gone from Die Hard to
Honey, I Shrunk the Hostages.

Unless that guy is
bluffing Aeryn.

I don't think so.

Forgive me. My mind isn't clear,

but I seem to recall a Peacekeeper file
about a species called the Coreeshi.

These are our pumpkin people?

Oh, yes.

Capable of constructing organic
shells in various forms.

They also were reputed to
possess reduction technology.


So now I've gotta take these
guys down and I can't hurt 'em.

I'm sure that point is a bluff.

To keep their prisoners alive containment
must be almost impossible to damage.

Can't take that chance.

Is there another choice?

Wake up.

Hynerian, wake up!

My name isn't Hynerian.

It's Rygel the Sixteenth.

You may call me Dominar.

This is scarcely the time to
obsess about how you're addressed.

Look around you.

One more prison.

So what? I've seen far worse.

Do you have any idea
how small you are?

You're not exactly a
giant yourself.

You have been reduced in size.

You're hardly bigger than
a filima bug now.


except this can't be happening.

Can't it?



Reduction by proportionally
subtracting atoms

would leave our brains
too simple to function.

So, maybe they just made
all our atoms smaller.

But then we couldn't breathe normal
size air molecules, don't you see?


No, this... this isn't happening
because it is not possible.

Your brain isn't functioning.

Do you think this is all
just a hallucination?

Do you like that explanation
better, hmm?


But I simply cannot comprehend how that...
- Neither can I.

Who cares?

We're here, they did it,
and that's that.

You consider yourself

Yes, I do.

Then stop behaving
like a child.

I am not a child!

No, you're an infant.

You've studied, but you
haven't experienced.

You know nothing of life.

And you do?

I've been around long enough
to know how ignorant I am.

I don't assume the universe
obeys my preconceptions.

Ha! But I know a frelling fact
when it hits me in the face.

That's good work.

You're smoking.

You know that's not
good for you.

The replacement cooling rod
Sikozu has formulated

does not function as well
in times of exertion.

Then don't exert.
Hit the bench. Go on.

How did you survive this far?

Charm. Good looks.

A winning attitude.

Here we go.

And batter up.

1812, don't cut it loose till
I give you the signal.

I'm hearing something on
Tier 16, treblin side.

I'll check it out.


Hold position.

Devvak, you go in first.


Come out, Crichton.

I have Aeryn and Chiana.

If you destroy me,
you destroy them.

And you certainly won't
destroy me with that.

Pulse chamber overload.

Hmm. Not very creative.


Bear trap. Ugly but creative.

And that is how we survived.

The containment capsule is here.

1812, light it up.

What's that? What's going on?

Contact lost on Tier 16.

All hands get down there now.

There's no more time. Take this.

- We're out.
- Crichton's got us out.

Aeryn, Pip, you okay?

Oh, yeah.
- Yes.

Over here.

Run for it! Save them!

1812. This way.
- Whoa!

Pick it up. Pick it up!

Go, John. Go!

Who is he?

Do you think he's
worth anything?

Either he's worth something,

or he's dead.

Are you guys all right?

Where are we? I can't see.

You're out of the bounty
hunter's body.

But you're still tiny, and
you're stuck in the beer can.

And since these cuffs are magnetic,
we're not going anywhere in a hurry.

Right. First priority, we get
you guys out of there.

No, first priority is
rescuing the others.

We can wait.


Gonna need a new plan.

I'm on it.


Congratulations on retrieving
the females.

I assume they're alive
and intact.

Of course, you can't set them free
nor restore their size without my help.

I understand you care for them.

I offer a deal.

Turn yourself in and I'll restore
their size and set them free.

Hey, why are you suddenly
feeling so generous?

You're costing me
bodies and time.

I'll pass up the bounties I'd earn
on the females in exchange for you.

And what about the others?

I'm not that generous.

Maybe you'll feel more generous after
you've lost a few pints of your own blood.

You know where the others are?

I saw Sikozu get shrunk

but I didn't see where
they put her.

Same for D'Argo and Rygel.

I... I used my visions.

Everything slowed down and I know...
I know how they do the shrinking.

How's that?

The armor. Left arm.
There's a keypad.

I know the codes for shrinking, and I...
I know the codes to get the cuffs off.

That's good work, Chi.

It's too bad we don't have some
of that armor ourselves.

- What do we have?

We got you, me,
a couple of DRDs

and some weapons that only
tickle the bad guys.

What happened to the old woman?

Any idea who he is?


He was working with Crichton?

He's the only reason
Crichton got away.

Crichton was hit in the leg.

He was leaking vital fluids
in the passageway.

If you can't capture a wounded target,
you'll be leaking vital fluids as well.

Get moving!

Well, well.


How's the ride?

We're all right.

I'm still blind.

Maybe... maybe it
won't go away.

It's okay. Your sight's always
come back before.

Maybe this is one time too many.

What... what if it
doesn't come back?

Well, using your sight the way you did
may be the only thing that saves us.

Without those codes we'll never
return to normal size.

It's just the dark.

You don't know what's coming,
and, uh...

there's nothing you can do.

I hate that feeling.

Wake up.

Why are you here?

Because you captured me.

So, you know.

Did you think that armor
would fool me?

I know what you are.

Then you should bow down.

Entropy will claim the universe
before I bow down to a Scarran.

Even one of the Ruling Order?

Particularly the Ruling Order.

Grafting yourself into
Coreeshi exoskeleton?

How ingenious.


How many Peacekeepers have dealt with
you not knowing you were a Scarran spy?

Too many to count.

You're not after Crichton
for the bounty.

You want to take him back
to your masters.

We're eager to learn why both
you and Commandant Grayza

are so interested in him.

But capturing you is a bonus
beyond measure.

It shall be my honor to return
you to your birthplace.

It will be my honor to
see you dead.

Not likely.

Ka-tow! Ka-tow! Uh!

Yeah. That's gonna work.

All right.

I got the plan.
How's my breath?

Death by laser guillotine.

Four DRDs, clothesline
the suckers.

And not harm their captives?

Might work.

Probably won't.

Don't be small-minded.

Chiana, how are the peepers?

Good. Making out colors
and shapes.

Right. Well, you two talk amongst
yourselves. I got work to do.

- Faster!

Sorry about that.

Enjoy the ride, Scorpius.

Ka D'Argo, overcome your
lethargy now.

Moya's crew is in danger.

Where the frell are we and
what are you doing here?

You have a Comms?

Signal Crichton immediately.

Answers first.

All right.

All the brothers down
with the plan?

Be quiet.

How my little inaction figures?

I can see, but it's...
it's all blurry.

Right. If I get the time,
I'll do something about that.

After I release two
of your arms,

you'll open an encoded channel on
a vector and frequency I designate.

If you do anything else,

I'll kill you and then
this Leviathan.

I'll do as you say.

A Scarran spy?

He intends to capture Crichton.

Not for the Peacekeepers,
but for the Scarrans.

Crichton needs to know this.

He cannot fall into
Scarran hands.

Why should I believe you?


Scarran military code.

He's signaling to a Dreadnought,
to come get him and his prisoners.

Bounty hunters may have
spared Moya.

The Scarrans won't.


John, can you hear me?
- Yeah.

Hidey ho, D. Where are you?

I'm fine, in some sort of
cylindrical prison.

Look, it doesn't matter.
Can you trust Scorpius?

More today than yesterday. Why?

He thinks we might have a
Scarran on our hands.

And that the Scarran's calling
in a Dreadnought.


That could be useful.


John, the Scarran's forcing
Pilot to transmit the message now.

Right. Keep me posted.

Found him.

Cargo Bay, Tier 20.

I've got treblin side.

You take hamman side.

Watch for traps.

Almost in position.

Go in ten microts.

Oh, crap.

Best laid plans.


Oh hell, this is gonna hurt.

We've got Crichton.

Tier 20.

Cargo Bay.

Hold him there.

I'll come shortly.

No acknowledgment of my signal?

Not yet.

What was that?

They... they said they
had Crichton.

Maybe it's part of the trap.

I hope it's part of the trap.


Always the last to know and
the first to get hurt.

Got some bad news for you guys.

Your, uh, boss.

He's not a battlebot.
He's a Scarran.


Yeah? Well take the can opener
to him, find out for yourself.

But you better do it quick, because
he's just called for a Dreadnought

to take him back to

All right.

Go check it out.
He's in Pilot's Den right now.

Well, why don't you have Pilot
play back the message,

and you can have your chief
explain why he's talking in Scarran.


I got no axe to grind.

Peacekeepers, Scarrans,
I'm dead either way.

You guys, crap, man.
You oughta be concerned.

What's it gonna cost you
to check it out?


If I'm lying, you can take it
out of my hide.

But if I'm telling the truth,

yeah, we're gonna smoke
the peace pipe.

Watch him.


What are you doing here?

Open your armor.


To prove you're a Coreeshi
and not a Scarran.

Don't be foolish.

Open it.



Man, I hope you guys are
still under warranty.

1812, get these arms off, quick.

You killed him.

You can be next.




Mra zenab prant kebof...

That a girl.

All right, Chiana, start
teaching me those combinations.

Will do.

...jarj branek vol skarn...

The Dreadnought signals that it
won't risk traveling to Moya.

Not with a Command Carrier
in the area.

That's good.

He's been ordered to make
his own way off Moya,

and to rendezvous with the
Dreadnought elsewhere.

Well, that's bad.

Oh, God, it's still warm.


Uh, nurse, I am, uh,
ready for surgery.

First thing, the cuffs.

So far, so good.



Beer can's next.

Damn. No winners there.


- How about that? I got a tadpole.

Crichton, get us out of here.
Make us normal size.


Don't know about that, Rygel.

Chiana only gave me the codes for
making things smaller, not bigger.

I don't wanna blow you up.

John. John, we're on
the move again.

I think the Scarran's trying
to make a run for it.

He may try and steal a
Transport Pod.

Actually, if he wants something faster,
he might try and steal Aeryn's Prowler.


Right. I'll try to cut him
off at the pass.

1812, keep an eye on
the little people.

He'll never beat the Scarran
to the Prowler.

Hey, where are ya going?

Sit tight.



I'll disable the Prowler.

You take care of the Scarran.


You should pick on somebody
your own size.

Hiya, fellas.


Whoa! John!

Crichton. Excellent.

Scorpius will have someone to
keep him company on his journey.

Where? Back to Scarranburg?

I don't think so.

Get big code.

You're mine now.


I hope I can do this.

So, you're an upper-class

Not like the horse faces
I'm used to.

You'll soon be meeting
more of me.

Remind me to shave.


One small step for man.

Donde esta la cucaracha?

John, what the frell are we
gonna do with Scorpius?

Man, I just don't know.

He could have gone to ground,
but he didn't.

He put his ass on the
line for us, I guess.

I don't know. I just...
- John...

I just, don't know.

D, look.

Bottom line.

I don't think we have a cage that's
gonna hold the son of a bitch.

I agree with you on all counts.
- Yeah.

We should still keep a close
eye on him at all times.



Yeah, Ryg.

There's a wrinkled old woman
floating outside the Forward Portal.

Whoa, gigantic oops.
Can you do me a favor?

Pop outside the Tier Three treblin
side hatch and haul Granny in?

Noranti is outside?

Yeah. Don't... don't ask.

She... she's got some red
Play-Doh in her pocket.

A dose of that, and when she
gets in she should be all right.

It's taken care of.

Officer Sun.

Yes, Pilot.

Commander Crichton and I
would like your advice

before we broach a topic
with Captain D'Argo.

Go ahead.

In view of the continuing danger
we face in Peacekeeper space,

and even in the Uncharted

and given that the Scarrans will
also be looking for us now,

I'm reluctantly forced to consider
traveling into Tormented Space.

Aeryn, you know what that is?



it's a place where neither
Peacekeepers nor Scarrans will travel.


It's a rough neighborhood.

Bit hard to know.

Few credible reports have made
it back from there, since...

those who go there
usually vanish.

Navigation there is
extremely hazardous.

Many ships have been lost.

The area is reputed to be
a nexus of wormholes.

So I've been told.

And Moya's cool with that?

She's understandably
reticent to go there.

But she sees no other choice.

Nor do I, Pilot.

Well look on the bright side.

Can't be as bad as some of the
places we've been lately.

Trust me.

It can.