Farscape (1999–2003): Season 1, Episode 3 - Back and Back and Back to the Future - full transcript

Ah, perfection.

No, no, no, absolutely not.

Just get out of my face.

Don't be a coward. You say you
want to clean your teeth.

Brush them. I want to
brush my teeth.

But to manually clean your teeth as
you describe is highly inefficient.

That's too damn bad. You're not
sticking that freakin' maggot in my...

What's it doing?

Cleaning all the excess bacteria
and food particles.

Never swallow the Dentic.

Pilot, report.



This is Aeryn.
I'm in the Command.

You better get up here quickly.

It's kind of minty.

What is that?

Best I can tell, it's
asteroid debris.

Stay with it, Pilot.

Doing my very best.

Asteroid debris does not move
like that.

Don't tell me Moya's
got hiccups.

You're too close.
Maneuver away from it.

The debris cloud isn't our problem.

Hey, that's another ship.

It doesn't know we're here.

The debris is blocking
their scan.



Pilot, stay behind the debris.

It's scanning?
That ship is scanning?

Wait, does that mean it's...?

Peacekeeper...

It's a scout ship.
Crais's eyes and ears.

And claws.

It's a Marauder.

Five-man crew.
Highest level of training.

Success measured by body count.

Marauder changing course.

How fast can they...?

How fast can they go?

Hetch seven.

Hetch seven?
That thing's a Hyundai.

Why don't we stop playing
hide-and-seek and just smoke 'em?

If they discover us, Crais will know
exactly where to concentrate his search.

We cannot outrun a
Command Carrier.

D'argo's right.

Of course he is, Ms. Sun.
He's been here longer.

Stay with it, Pilot.

Steady...

We're no longer being scanned.

They're passing us by.

Thank you for your help,
Officer Sun.

We work together well, Pilot.

Huh...

You don't see that every day.

My name is John Crichton,
an astronaut...

...A radiation wave hit and I
got shot through a wormhole...

Now I'm lost in some distant
part of the universe

on a ship- a living ship

Full of strange
alien life-forms...

Help me, help me...

Listen, please.

Is there anybody out there
who can hear me?

...being hunted by an insane
military commander...

...doing everything I can...

I'm just looking for
a way home.

Go on, get out of here.

Shoo, go.

Go home.

So, those Marauders really
shook you up.

The ship is called a Marauder.

The team on board are commandos.

Like you?

What, you're worried
they'll come back?

Unlikely.

But not impossible?

Marauders follow a very
strict search pattern.

It's a cross-hatch star pattern.

Clean, efficient.

No prey escapes.

Moya got lucky.

Simple as that.

You ever serve on one?

My application for transfer
was awaiting

Crais's approval when I got
caught up in this...

this little mutiny.

I'm sure your world has no force
so ruthless, so disciplined.

We call them linebackers...

or serial killers.

Depends on whether they're
professional or amateur.

Look, you're not in this alone.

Everybody on board has had
their lives derailed

from what they thought they were
going to be... should be.

We're stuck together.

As long as we are,
we might as well be...

What?

Family?

Friends?

I want neither.

Somebody's got to be there
when you need it.

No offense, human,

but what can I possibly
need from you?

I don't know...

Manners, personality...

stock tips.

Oh, darn it.

Some fopooter is going to
pay for this.

Let me help you.

Is that how you see yourself?

Mother always said I was
the best looking.

That's why she had my older
brothers banished.

She said my face belonged
on the imperial seal.

But now, of course, it's ruined.

It's more accurate
than you think.

What do you think you're doing?

Hey, do you mind?

Oh.

Is that how you see me?

It's called a spirit painting.

We delvians do it
for recreation.

It's rather rushed.

It looks like Rygel the Great...

Rygel the first, my most
honored ancestor.

Obviously a part of his spirit
resides within you.

You had it so very easy.

Hey, I'm missing
one of those little...

pointy things with the
laser probes.

Aren't you hot?

No.

Aeryn, Crichton, I'm showing abnormal
thermal fluctuations throughout the ship.

Can you confirm maintenance
bay reading?

I told you it was hot.

By the door.

D'argo, the giant ouija
board says, uh...

optimum plus three.

Feels like plus 30.

How long to fix it, D'argo?

Not long, once we isolate
the cause.

Well, then stop talking
and start isolating.

Ow!

Ow.

You okay?

Yeah.

Metal splinter.

We're done here.

Why is it still so hot?

Moya's propulsion system is generating
more heat than usual at this speed.

Diagnostics are showing some
sort of blockage in the vents

preventing its discharge
into space.

What about the
congelation coils?

All attempts to chill the ship are
being overwritten by the heat buildup.

"Chill" being the operative
word here, Aeryn.

It's a little warmer.
What's the big deal?

Even shutting down every
non-vital system

it's going to hit optimum
plus 15 in six hours.

Worse than morons.

Find the blockage, clear it.

Look, I'll fix the damn
problem myself.

Stop.

We'll search together
tier by tier.

Pilot, please assist in the
narrowing process.

On Luxan, this is a mild
winter morning.

Another reason Sebaceans
hate his world.

This main valve controls the
heat for all of tier seven.

Great. We'll just turn
this sucker off.

Oh, yeah.

No, I knew that.

It's all right.

There's so much new information
for you to assimilate.

Sometimes the smaller things
will elude you.

Yeah. Well, at least
you get that.

The others treat me like I'm
some kind of Earth idiot.

Granted, they're not the most patient
beings, but what did you expect?

Oh, I don't know.

A little slack maybe.

At least they know where they
are. How things work.

It takes me ten minutes to
figure out how to open the door.

You'll need to develop some patience
yourself if you expect to survive here.

I'm trying...

Hmm, I am trying.

But, you know, with Aeryn and
D'argo it's like everything's a test.

It's like I'm in some never
ending frat hazing at Alien U.

"Frat hazing"?

Next planet, I'll rent you a
copy of 'Animal House'.

John...

they're soldiers.
Win their respect.

Exactly how do you do that?

I mean, short of cutting
someone's throat.

Actions. Actions speak to them.

Actions like tactical maneuvers,
defending the ship

fixing the heat.

All right.

Hey... thanks.

There's a lot more of
these to check.

Are you sure you've got
the hang of it now?

Oh, yeah. Just watch me
spring into action.

Look, I'll, check the vents
in the living quarters

and meet you back on Command.

Tier five, passageway clear, Pilot.

Ditto Zhaan and Rygel's
quarters. Checking mine now.

Uh... anybody, uh...
anybody hear me?

Anybody?

D'Argo here.

Yeah, I, uh...

I think I found our problem.

What is it, Crichton?

What is it?

Crichton?!

Bugs.

Stop wasting time. Ship's
beetles don't clog exhaust vents.

Well, they might if they're
two feet long.

Somebody tell me what these
things are.

You need to capture one.

Yeah, capture one, right.

We're on our way.

Whatever you do, don't let
them back in the vents.

Between you and me, you guys
can go anywhere you want.

Ha!

Oh hell, what'd I just do?

Oh yeah! I got ya!

You're praying for
this parasite?

We don't know it's a parasite.

It's on board this ship
uninvited.

My concern, too, Rygel.

But if I can analyze its DNA, perhaps
we can understand why it's here.

Well the others think there may
be dozens of these things

even hundreds throughout
our living quarters.

I believe Crichton's
supposition is correct.

He said that they must have come
aboard when the flock

or swarm thing passed over us.

Crichton...

it's Crichton's DNA.

My DNA?

How can that bug be
carrying my DNA?

Well, that's what
the analyzer's saying.

Well, analyze it again.

I intend to.

But another specimen would
be helpful, John.

Alive this time, if possible.

Aw, yeah, no problem.

Hell, the damn things
are related to me.

What's behind there?

Hey, what's back there?

Ion backwash chamber.

Should be a giant empty room.

The beetles have completely
isolated it.

All four entries are sealed.

Pilot, we need that
alternate entrance.

I am still attempting access.

Nothing can resist a
Prism Laser Saw.

Well, you better check the warranty,
cuz, 'cause that stuff ain't budging.

Zhaan says we've got to
capture another bug

alive this time.

Says she wants to check
some unreliable data.

Data's not the only unreliable
thing around here.

What's her problem?

Sebacean heat delirium.

What?

Sebaceans lack the gland necessary
to regulate extreme thermal increases.

Crais and those other bastards
chasing us are cold-blooded? Literally?

It's a weakness not enough
of them die from.

Pilot, I will wait no longer.

How dare you cut into Moya
without warning.

Hey!

You had your chance.

We have to get in there.

Maybe you should lie down.

No, I need to be left alone.

Heat delirium?

As our cells overheat, the
nervous system shuts down.

First short-term memory,
then motor functions.

The last to go is
long-term memory.

Sounds like an ugly way to die.

We don't die.

Our body lives on in that state.

It's called the living death.

It's the only time we kill
our own from mercy.

You see anything?

Another bulkhead.

My DNA... my DNA...

Great.

The giant space cockroaches
are eating out the lights.

Please tell me you made a
mistake on your test.

There's no way my DNA is
inside those things.

Zhaan, it's making it hotter,
not cooler.

Oh!

What the hell?

D'argo, Rygel.

How do you say "we're screwed"
in your native tongue?

Zhaan just beat the crap
out of me

and then spit up that blue
snot the bugs use.

She must have been infected
or something when she...

Aeryn?

Aeryn...

You're not sweating.

That... that's heatstroke.

Commander Crichton,

she is initiating a
thermal increase.

Aeryn, you got to stop.

Aeryn, you're only going to...

Aeryn, no!

Okay, hardball.

Do not let her execute
that command.

Thanks a lot, Pilot.
That's a big help.

Aeryn...

Stop!

Crichton?

What are you... doing?

It was exactly like you, the way
it moved, the way it felt.

I mean, it felt real, alive.

It looked and acted
totally alive.

It was impossible to tell the
difference.

The fact that it was trying to
sabotage the ship wasn't a clue to you?

He had no reason to suspect.

This is a perfect duplicate of Aeryn's
exterior right down to the micron.

Did it communicate?

Not a word.

Neither did you when you
attacked me in the passageway.

I was never in the
passageway, John.

No, the other you.

This bug was in my room.

It must have sampled something.
Hair, whatever.

It was going to use my DNA
to make a copy of me.

The perfect camouflage.

The perfect army.

If there are hundreds
of these creatures on board...

Then we could be meeting our
replicants at every turn.

We will kill them all on sight.

And how will you tell
us from them?

We will cut off the tip of our
small finger for identification.

How about something a little
less permanent?

I don't care about replicants.

What we've got to do is...

Wait. What was I going to say?

I had something to say,
I know I did.

We really need to lower the
ship's temperature.

All the climate regulators
have been sealed by the blue sludge.

Can we find something or make something
that will dissolve this blue gunk?

I've certainly got enough
to analyze.

I'm going to go work
with Pilot.

I'm fine.

Right, and all we have to do is
find where they're hiding.

If you say the heat's affected you,
I won't assume you've lost your mind.

Those things are in there.

There you go.

That should scatter them long
enough for you to get through.

Should? I'll go when it's more
definite, thank you.

You'll go now.

Luxan manners never fail
to amaze me!

If we can't turn the temperature down,
isn't there at least some way to...?

To stop it from...?

Officer Sun?

I am a Peacekeeper...
a Sebacean.

Look.

I can't hold a weapon.

I can't hold a thought.

It is strange to be so close to
a Peacekeeper I do not fear.

That is a compliment.

The only thing I haven't performed
is a full propulsion shutdown.

It would allow me to open the
cargo doors to space.

No. It's too dangerous.

We leave ourselves open
for attack.

We're already under attack.

I can hear something.

What the yozk was that?!

Just trying to scare
whatever's in there.

Well, it worked!

We need to get the heat down.

Really? What a good idea.

Did you see the look
on Aeryn's face?

It's like she was staring
at her own death.

Or hoping for it.

With Sebacean heat delirium,
death is preferable.

Have you seen someone
in this death state?

Yes. I've seen Peacekeepers
suffer as she does.

They often beg for their
own death.

I cannot say I did not find
the sight most enjoyable.

You want her to die?

That's not true.

She was one of them.

Now she's a comrade.

Like you.

Now there's a load of bull.

You hate her, right?

You hate Peacekeepers,
and you hate her.

You want her to die.

Listen, human.

Everyone is frustrated.

We're all hot.

And we're all going to be a lot
better off if we stop just wasting time

and just fix this blasted ship.

Oh!

Will you stop that!

Just find the problem, Rygel.

And fast.

The little wretch is doing
the best he can.

I know, and meanwhile,
Aeryn's melting away.

Look, human, for what it is worth,
the part of me that wants Aeryn to live

is greater than the part of me
that wants all Peacekeepers to die.

It's not worth much.

Well, it's all I've got.

A... few degrees cooler,
that's all.

I'm sorry.

Not your fault.

I cannot reactivate the
consumables refrigeration unit.

I have no place to bring your
core temperature down.

Perhaps the others can think
of a way to help you.

Why would the others care?

My kind imprisoned them.
I'm sure they haven't forgotten.

Aah...

Hmm...

Aah...

Bad news, people. Very bad news.

What is it, Rygel?

You trying to get me killed?!

Of course you are.
You sent me in here!

It's hotter than squag...

and they're building some
kind of nest!

A nest?

Too many letters for you, Luxan?

Try "hive."

They're making us their home.

Then I'm moving.

John, D'argo, I've found a
substance that dissolves the sealant.

Now we can take back
control of the...

Zhaan!

D'argo!

Where the hell is the hole,
you bastard?

They're after me!

Pilot, report. Where is Zhaan?

Unknown, but Aeryn Sun
is down here.

Almost unconscious, I'm afraid.

Rygel!

Are you all right?!

Rygel!

Rygel!

D'argo, what...?

Can, um...?

Are you-are you able to speak?

Communicate?

This is freaking weird.

Can you understand me?

You know my moves.

Yeah, and I know yours.

That's why Eddie Marx kicked
your ass in the seventh grade!

You fought fair...!

Pilot, report. Where is Zhaan?

Still no sign.

My scans do reveal a growing number of
bipedal entities moving about the ship.

Who knows how many more
there are.

Infinite.

Minus one.

How do I know that you
are Crichton?

Because I'm talking and the
replicants don't do that.

If they could, they wouldn't tell you
that these markings, they're useless.

They instantly adapt to
whatever they see.

Where's Rygel?

Where's Zhaan?

There were signs of a struggle
in the lab. We cannot find her.

Did we pass the obstacle test?

I don't want to fail
commando training.

We can do nothing else.

Those invaders are isolating us.

We got to find Zhaan.
We got to stick together.

The yozk with Zhaan. What about me?

Rygel!

Where are you?

Back where I started from,
if you must know.

If I sit perfectly still, they
don't advance.

Yet, when I move...

they get disagreeable.

Right.

Don't move.

If we ever survive this, Luxan,
you must become my advisor.

Fa-pu-ta!

What's going on in there?

Nothing of concern, unless you
count the fact that

this thing's spitting out
replicants like a Bellian yard rat!

They've already won.
Why-why do they need more?

Help me.

I can't, uh...

I can't get this stinger out.

It's pumping some kind of
venom into me.

I'll cut it out.

No!

Zhaan?

I am Monarch of the Drak.

Drak...?

These are my aggregate.

You attack me during my Genesis.

And you must die.

What the hell is "Genesis"?

You ask the wrong warrior!

Wait!

This is one of them!

No. It's the real Zhaan!
She's talking!

The Xeroxes can't do that.

What have you done to
our friend?

I use her for my voice.

She will die when you die,
to save Genesis.

"Genesis"?

The nest.

The nest.

This is some sort of spawning...

and you're the...
you're the Queen?

Life must continue.

You live in space,

freezing space, but you need
warmth to lay your eggs or...

or to give birth.

Only to give birth.

So, when you're finished,
you'll go back to space.

That is our cycle.

Why do you threaten us?

Threaten?

They didn't attack until I
killed that first bug in my room.

We started this damn war.

It is still a war.

Either we die fighting them
or we die from the heat!

We didn't know!

We didn't mean to harm you.

How much time do you need to
complete your cycle?

"Time"?

Time. Yes...

you don't know time.

Is your cycle nearer the
beginning or is it nearer the end?

I have birthed half my young.

Half? That's good.
Good. Half is...

But does it need to be this hot?

Warm propels the emergence.

Your habitat is capable of even
greater warmth but it resists.

Tell me why it does this.

Because it's a living being.

A host.

And this heat is very bad
for our habitat.

We must strike
before she decides to strike!

You are enemy!

If you keep it this warm
our habitat will die

and there will be no heat.

And all of your young will die.

What the yozk kind of
deal is that?!

Best we could do.

Yet another reason I should
handle all negotiations.

Just don't worry. It's only
a couple more hours.

I can't stay here for a
few more hours.

I think this thing
is salivating.

And my body has functions.

Stay put.

As long as we don't move
until Genesis is over

she'll keep the heat down and we shouldn't
see any more replicants only baby Draks.

What do they eat?

I think we caught it in time.

Any longer at that level, and she
would have suffered permanent damage.

Let her rest, John.

She needs to recover some strength
before she's aggravated again.

How about you?

I can still sense her,
deep inside.

What was that like?

Like we're imprisoned in this room with
the rest of the ship just out of reach.

I was within my own mind, yet I couldn't
reach past to think or feel what I wanted.

I'm glad you're safe, Zhaan.

Now you've struck this truce,
we're all safe.

You feeling better?

No.

How much longer?

I don't know.

We didn't cover the life cycle
of deep space insects at JFK High.

Lieutenant Melkor.

Officer Sun.

How fortunate for you to be spared the
punishment of a Captain Crais court-martial.

Something is wrong here, Sir.

This ship is floating dead in space
with its cargo doors wide open.

Our scans show her propulsion
systems as fully operational. Why?

When we secure the ship you
will have answers.

Lieutenant.

Stand fast, Luxan.

Our objective is the command.

Advance pattern Decca.

Shoot to kill is your order.

She's cranked up the heat again.

Why?

Weapons fire on-board.

Weapons fire?

What?

Moya's neural links have been
badly affected by the heat,

but I believe it came from
the maintenance bay.

I'm picking up five unidentified life-forms
and a ship in the transport hangar.

The Marauder.

It must be the Monarch. She
thinks we've broken the deal.

Lieutenant, another Luxan.

Steady, Sergeant. This transport
was only carrying one Luxan.

Enemy rear!

Monarch! Speak with me.

We aren't the ones
attacking you.

Speak with me, dammit!

It's up to you.

Aeryn, no. I'm trying to...

Before the living death
takes hold,

you have to be prepared to
kill me. Promise.

No, not a chance.

You said I'm not alone.

A friend would do this for me.

Family would do it swiftly.

The heat, Sir.

The prisoners have done this.
It's their only defense.

But what's this sealant?

We must resist.

We must retreat.

I'll attribute that to heat
delirium, Officer.

The Command is this way.

Move!

I can't do this. I can't.

We don't have a choice.

Do you know what you
are asking me?

Do you realize how hideous
this thing is?

You went in to negotiate.

Now is your chance.

Ask him what Rygel the
first would do.

Rygel, Zhaan wants to know...

Rygel?

What's happening?

I am Rygel, sixteenth of my lineage,
Dominar of the Hynerian Empire.

At once your equal and your humble
petitioner, requesting an audience.

What's happening?

Rygel!

Rygel, come in. Come in, Rygel.

He has to be there.

That is enough. He is gone.

Look, it was my idea to
send him in there.

And it failed. But we are
still alive.

He's right.

Zhaan, what do you think?

Monarch?

Silence.

You have to listen to me.

Those people only look like us.

- Silence!
- I will not be silent!

You're killing us for no reason!

I have communed with
your Sovereign.

He is most agreeable.

I trust him.

Rygel is not my Sovereign.

He is today.

Then you know we wouldn't
hurt you.

I know all.

These creatures, whatever they
are, are no real threat to us.

We continue forward.

Sir!

Crichton.

What the...?

Locked in this room,
we can't help you.

Let us out.

We can stop them.

I will allow the thermal to lower.

No.

Wait.

Do it.

Don't lower the heat.
Crank it up.

I'll look after her. Go.

It's just you and me.

Actually, it is just me...

and you.

Aeryn...

I feel the living death.

No.

No, you hold on.

I won't let it happen.

It's not your choice.

Remember your promise.

Move!

- Pilot?
- Yes.

More pressure.

Colder water.

Living death.

Crichton...

Promise...

Sir.

Shoot them.

Shoot them all.

Promise...

Promise.

Crichton.

Did you ever have one of
those days when

life just ain't what you thought
it was going to be?

I killed you.

I'm still here.

What kind of creature are you?

That's a good question.

It's too bad Crais didn't ask
that before he declared war on me.

Crichton. Out of the way.

No. D'argo, this one's mine.

We got two choices here,
Peacekeeper.

You can stick around and find
out how hot it's going to get

or you can return to your
Captain Crais.

Crichton.

You would let us leave?

Tell him he picked the wrong
species to screw around with.

He wants to fight, fine.

Look around.

Take a good look around.

And multiply that by thousands.

Let's get you back to your ship.

I believe the human Crichton
gave you a choice.

Go ahead.

Use your blade.

The next time Crais sees my
face, his crew'll be dead

and he'll be staring up from
a pool of his own blood.

A brave gamble, Crichton.

Nah, you wouldn't have let
him skewer me.

Right?

You risked Aeryn Sun's life.

I would still have preferred
killing them on the spot.

Well, this way there's a chance Crais
will catch a hint and leave us alone.

A small chance.

Big fella...

you look refreshed.

Yes, well, a three hour trinkas
bath will do that for you.

I had blue crud way up in places
you don't want to know about.

You did a hell of a job today.

Yes, well, there's a lot of
Rygel the First in here.

You know, if I had new clothes
of cray-spun shimmer weave

the resemblance would
startle you.

I'm pleased to report that the
temperature is now at optimum.

That's good news for Aeryn.

Where is she?

I believe on the terrace.

The Draks are leaving.

Monarch wishes a final
word with us.

We are pleased.

Genesis is concluded.

That pleases us, too, Monarch.

We are also pleased by the
encounter between us.

Well, I think I can speak for
all of us when I...

We shall not meet again
Great Ruler.

Don't worry. This one will
last me a lifetime.

Oh...

They'll be gone soon.

So remarkable.

Easy now, just lean on me.

Yes, I know I can.

Home sweet home.

I'll be fine from here.

Oh, I must say you handled yourself
like quite a man of action today.

Yeah, I'm getting the hang
of a few things.

Of course when I do...

Things change and you find you're
more confused than you were before.

Yeah, pretty much.

Time and patience.

Time and patience.

Is that your answer
for everything?

Yes, because it's always
the right answer.

Okay.

How does time and patience
answer this?

We see the Draks, or we
saw them, as pests.

Something to be stepped on
and crushed.

We were ignorant.

Well, I definitely pulverized
one on sight.

And I would have done the
same thing to the Dentic

and those germ bugs that you injected
me with when I first came on board.

The translator microbes.

Yeah, those guys.

But, see, you see them as good.

Oh, we've learned to
work with them.

Isn't that the same where
you come from?

I guess.

I mean, some people keep pets
that others would just as soon eat.

If you're asking for a distinction,
I think it's often unclear.

Moya is alive and she's our
protector, but she's also our servant.

She relies on us, and
we rely on her.

It's a mutual symbiotic
relationship.

So who lives and dies in your world
is as arbitrary as it is in mine.

The answer is reverence for all
living beings, which may come with...

Time, and patience.

Yes, John.

I get the feeling you're going
to get the hang of things soon.

Hey.

Remember me?

Didn't we meet at a party
a few years back?

Some of what happened
I can't recall,

but almost everything else
has come back.

How are the shakes?

I'll be fine.

You know...

I always thought that lesser
life-forms were useless,

just something to be squashed.

Yeah, it's...

it's humbling when you
realize that...

You're not talking about
the Draks, are you?

Fine.

Well, on behalf of lesser life-forms
everywhere, I accept the compliment.

Could you have kept
your promise?

You know, all things considered,

there are worse ways
to end a day.