Fargo (2014–…): Season 3, Episode 2 - The Principle of Restricted Choice - full transcript
Gloria deals with the aftermath of the crime; Varga makes a move; Ray and Nikki move on to their next plan
Mom?
Right.
_
_
Jeez.
_
_
_
Hey, Chief.
Thought we said 9:00.
Yeah.
But new chief showed up early.
Wants to gather the department
together first thing.
So, since the department
is you and me,
I figured
I'd come and get you.
- Ooh, is that coffee?
- Mmm.
Is that the box
you took from Ennis'?
Nathan at his dad's?
Hopefully.
Do you think
this Thaddeus Mobley fella
had something to
do with the murder?
I should say so,
seeing as how Ennis Stussy
and this Thaddeus Mobley
are one and the same.
Come again?
How's it you're in
my kitchen again?
Oh, the chief...
Well, the new chief.
Oh, right. The department.
Well...
Let's go see
if I still have a job.
You going by
the autopsy later?
They glued
his nose and mouth shut.
Are we thinking cause of death
is somehow a cliffhanger?
Guess not.
Did you canvass the local?
Any reports of
strange customers?
Well, Earl at the Gas N Go
intimated he might
have had a weird one.
Weird how?
Uh, Ron? It's... Hello?
- Hello.
- It's me.
Hello?
- Ron? Can you hear me?
- Is this you, Gloria?
I wanted to check on Nathan,
make sure he was getting...
Ah, I can't quite hear you.
- Ron, it's Gloria.
- Hello?
- Hold on, I'll call you...
- What's that?
Gosh.
Does yours do that?
Who?
Every time I make a call,
it's like
I'm in a silent movie.
_
Hold up, forgot my gun.
I'm here, right? You see me.
Is that a trick question?
"Keep it."
That's what he said.
This VM Vargas?
Yes. And we should have...
At the time when
we needed the loan,
we should have come to you.
Any idea what the VM
stands for?
You borrowed
$1,000,000 from a man
without knowing
his first name.
- I know how it...
- It's not a question.
I'm just assessing
the level of stupidity.
- Hey, hey.
- Irv, come on,
we don't have to...
You get a lot of
business from us.
Which, boychik,
will stop the moment
they arrest you
for money laundering.
At which time,
all your business
goes to a criminal attorney.
And might I recommend
Bruce Lipshits
in our Minneapolis office?
- We're not asking for...
- Irv, stop screwing around.
I need you to do some digging
on this guy, his outfit.
Now, we gave you his card
and the card
his reps gave to us last year.
You have the loan document,
on which is a phone number
and a mailing address.
There's also
a corporate ID number!
So unless you got
the brains of a monkey,
you should be able to friend
this cocksucker on Facebook,
and reel him in.
And then?
Then we get him to
take his money back
and forget he ever met us.
How's Stella?
Yeah, she's good.
You think I was
too hard on him?
Irv?
Ray.
At the anniversary party.
Look, he...
It's been a long time coming,
you saying no to him.
- Haven't I always...
- Nuh-nuh-nuh.
Like a Swiss watch.
Reliable. That's you.
- So he should have no...
- Yeah, but...
Lookit, don't go...
We've been
friends a long time.
Don't go getting soft here.
We talked about this.
It's for his own good.
A man like that,
used to blaming
others for his...
Maybe I should just
give him the stamp.
To what end?
You think that'll fix it?
Next thing he's going
to want is interest.
It's envy, the green monster.
- Your brother's a loser.
- He's not a loser.
Well, he's doing
a pretty good imitation.
And you're the goddamn
Parking Lot King of Minnesota.
He doesn't want
the stamp, pal.
He wants your life.
Deb?
What's it doing?
You hit "Enter"?
What's "Enter"?
It's a...
Now what do I...
Wait!
What happened?
Did I...
What did I...
I don't know.
- It just went.
- Uh-huh.
I'll check mine.
Mine's out, too.
Is it the power?
I mean, the lights are on.
I'll call the IT kid
that Shirley knows.
Zdraveyte,
as the Bulgarians say.
Pardon?
Ni hao is the Chinese.
The Corsicans use
the simple salut.
And guten Tag,
if German's your thing.
Is that... Are they with you?
Surmise.
What?
Because we arrived together,
we are together. Surmise.
- Well, are ya?
- Yes.
Can't park that here.
We got...
City's got an ordinance.
No, it's perfectly fine.
Mr. Stussy himself
gave me permission.
Who?
Your employer.
You do see the sign
above which you stand,
and how a man
with a keener sense of reason
might extrapolate a connection
with the name
I just mentioned.
Your boss.
- Look, mister...
- We're done here.
Okay then. Just... It's fine.
Like he said,
he's got permission.
No, I won't say
"from Mr. Stussy."
I'm not gonna create
the implication
of foreknowledge.
Of... Knowing before the fact.
They have permission.
They can park there.
Thanks.
_
Did you see this
bullshit in the paper?
Some old-timer
out in the country,
they push in his
front door, tie him up.
He runs a general store,
and some hopped-up junkie
thinks he takes
the register money home.
Ennis Stussy.
Eighty-two years old.
Not the Minnesota
I grew up in,
I'll tell you that.
It's a tragedy.
Do you need something?
Oh, uh... There's...
Maybe a problem, not sure yet.
Just, this Vargas fella...
I got a call
from the Oakbridge lot.
The raised one?
No. Ground lot,
under the highway.
- Doesn't get a lot of traffic.
- Right.
Why'd we buy that one again?
Sprawl-wise,
you thought it'd be
a good investment long-term.
Maybe turn it
into condos one day.
Right.
We should talk
to Stan Grossman about that.
Test the waters.
Yeah. I'll make a note.
Anyway, it seems there's
a big rig parked there now.
- In the lot?
- Mmm-hmm.
Well, that's against code.
Well, okay. There's that, too.
But more to the point,
what's in it?
And I'm a little troubled
by the escalation.
Money loaned is
one thing, but this?
A truck full of...
Well...
It could be anything.
Booze, guns...
The kind of demeanor
this fella has...
You think maybe it's...
I don't even
wanna say it out loud.
Slave girls?
What? No.
I was gonna say drugs.
You think it's slave girls?
No.
I mean, he's capable,
this Vargas fella,
don't you think?
Just from the one meeting.
We should probably
drive over there, take a look.
Or, and this is
the other way to go, not.
See, I'm thinking
about deniability.
What they call "plausible."
'Cause if we...
Look, if Irv's right, and we...
Then we know.
Which, in a court of law...
Got it.
That's... You're...
Good thinking.
So, what do we...
I think we gotta wait
and see what Irv turns up.
Then, whatever dirt, we use
to extricate
ourselves overall.
This is
the problem right here.
It's not even
a proper police station.
Where do you keep prisoners?
There's a store room,
computer boxes, paper towels,
or we drive 'em
10 miles to Paynesville.
Wait, you said computer boxes.
Where are the computers?
They're in the boxes.
Chief doesn't like computers.
Well, old chief. Sorry, Chief.
Oh, you don't like them?
It's not that
I don't like them.
I don't like them,
but that's not...
The old way works just fine.
Type out a report,
send it via telex.
You do know
what year it is, right?
The future.
We don't use...
Who uses telexes anymore?
So that's why no one
ever writes me back.
The point is, if I need
a record search or priors run,
I just call Jerry at County.
Yeah, or Lou-Ann,
if Jerry's sick
or out or something.
I'm sorry to be
doing this today,
with the loss of
your father and all...
Stepfather.
But you need to
get with the program.
It's not the '50s anymore
where people
don't lock their front doors.
People don't lock
their front doors. Not here.
Although they might now,
after what happened to Ennis.
I'm just saying.
Chief...
As much as I want to hear
about this future
you've come from,
I got a potential
witness to interview
who may have seen our perp
gas up on his way out of town.
- So I'm gonna...
- You know what?
I'm gonna go ahead and pretend
you didn't just
mouth off to me
like my teenage daughter.
And I'm gonna go ahead
and let you
brace your witness.
And then I'm gonna let you
take a few days off to grieve.
But this is a done deal.
You're being
absorbed by the county.
You work for me now.
So, when you get back,
you and the Chief, me,
are gonna have a long talk
about the way
things work around here.
I told Donny.
It was the Russians.
No. I think
he would've mentioned that.
This is Thursday night, yeah?
'Round 10:00 PM?
Why don't you start
from the beginning?
You know, it's whaddaya,
Thursday. I got the game on.
- Vikings?
- Gophers.
And it's one of those nights.
Miller, Miller Lite,
cigarettes, cigarettes,
motor oil.
And then some
twitchy kid comes in,
wants a case of
frozen orange juice
concentrate, which...
Is that...
Can you make meth from that?
Not last I heard.
Maybe just
a vitamin deficiency.
My point is,
I'm already primed for...
And then
this fella comes in...
- "Fella" singular?
- If singular means just one.
And he's looking for,
wants to know,
do I have a phone book?
And you're saying
this fella was Russian?
Yes, ma'am.
From, like, an accent, or...
Well, now,
I can't rightly say.
Maybe he told me.
Well, like I said,
I got the Gophers on.
But it's strong,
how I remember him.
So, I showed him
where the book was,
keep it on a chain.
Why do you keep
your phone book on a chain?
Well, remember in the '70s?
People used to steal 'em.
Anyhoo,
he looks through it, and then
just tears a page out.
Which, it's a public book,
which... Meant for everyone.
So, I raise a ruckus.
Can I see it?
- Hey!
- Gotta take this as evidence.
Evidence of what?
Well, fella stopped in here,
used your phone book,
tore out the page
with Ennis' information on it.
Shortly thereafter,
Ennis is asphyxiated.
So, I'd say,
evidence he was looking for
Ennis' house but
didn't know the address.
"And in time of great joy
they had meat
and fowl and grain.
And in time of sorrow,
they ate tears."
- Hey.
- See the game?
Not really.
Can I use your computer?
- What happened to yours?
- Vermin.
You still got that
con with the rack?
The what's that, now?
The brunette with
the nutcracker caboose?
I'm saying
her back end's so fit,
she could
probably crack a walnut.
- Swango.
- Right.
Her swango.
No, that's her name.
Nikki Swango.
_
Well, whatever she calls it,
I'd like to butter that bread.
_
Look, I got a...
One of my cons
blew his piss test,
Maurice LeFay.
What is he, Cajun?
No, he's from Wabasso,
I think.
Anyway,
he's MIA for his 9:00 AM,
and my thinking is
he likely flew the coop.
Saw the writing on the wall,
if you know what I mean.
So, issue a BOLO.
Jesus. You need me
to wipe your ass, too?
No. I'll do that.
Burt Lurdsman.
- What?
- Is the name.
His name.
The sponsor I told you about.
Potential.
I'm trying to visualize.
I...
They've got it listed as...
The initial report,
as accidental.
Maurice.
His cause of death,
misadventure
by major appliance.
Which is...
That's good, right?
He's in vacuum cleaners.
Invented some
kind of, whaddaya,
filter out of Bismarck.
And he's looking
for a new team.
Babe, we gotta...
I need you to focus.
We're not...
We dropped a 200-pound
AC on an ex-con,
and, yeah, it looks like
the cover-up's working,
but there's a long way to go
before we're out
of the woods here.
What the heck?
There's something
wrong with your chi.
The what's that?
Like, your energy flow.
You're all blocked up, babe.
We can't have that.
Well, I've...
I never killed anybody before.
Well, me either.
Life's a journey, you know?
I gotta be honest.
I got some remorse.
'Course you do.
You're not a heartless killer.
You got the soul of a poet.
I do?
You bet.
You're my honey bear.
What if they catch us?
You know what happens
to ex-law enforcement
in the clink?
They're not gonna catch us.
Like you said,
it was an accident.
Plus,
we'll be out of here today.
I gave a fake ID to the cops.
The apartment's rented
under an assumed name.
Anybody thinks to follow up,
and it's just a dead end.
What about the fella
that Maurice killed?
The other Stussy?
Wasn't he really old?
So?
Hon, they don't
look at those cases
as close as the young ones.
- I don't think that's...
- It's just common sense.
What with them being so close
to the grave and all.
Besides, you said yourself,
he messed up, your man,
killed some random
geriatric in the sticks
who happened to
have the surname.
So, even if they
wanted to solve it,
the police,
what possible solve is there,
besides
unfathomable pinheadery?
You've thought of everything.
That's us. Thought and action.
The next Burt Lurdsman
Grand National Champions.
Don't get any ideas, mister.
I'm on my period.
Just remember,
when the BOLO for Maurice
turns up a dead body,
you write "Case Closed,"
and file
the papers at
the dead-letter office.
Scotty's right. You got a real
nutcracker back there.
- Who?
- My boss.
We were talking, and...
You were talking about my ass
with your boss?
No.
He just... I was using his computer
on account of vermin
ate through my cord,
and he just...
He asked if I still had you
as a con, and I said...
I hate that word,
"con."
It's so negative.
We weren't talking
about your ass, hon.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
We're never gonna
land Burt Lurdsman
with your chi all
blocked up like this.
Well, okay,
how do I unblock it?
We gotta find some sort of
psychic Drano, or...
You know what it is,
don't you?
The blockage?
It's your stupid brother.
The history between you two
and how it made you go crazy,
and hire a doofus to
break into his house.
Hey, hon, I didn't hire him,
I was blackmailing him.
My point is,
this is a blood feud.
We can't be
fightin' a blood feud while
we're trying to land
a big-time sponsor.
We're just gonna
have to do it ourselves.
- Do?
- The stamp.
Get the stamp back.
Now, hon...
Well, it's either that,
or make peace with him.
Are you willing to do that?
Forgive and forget?
Bygones?
Who died?
When?
It's 10:30!
Shit. Did I wake you...
No. It's fine.
Stella's sleeping, though,
so let's talk over there.
I should've called.
Nah, it's...
Ray?
Sometimes when you do
a piss test, they...
Why not just put on
both the other pair?
Well, it happens a lot.
Basically, this is now my only
non-micturated footwear.
It's late, Ray.
It's 10:30.
Fine.
I felt bad about
how we left things, you know,
the thing between us,
and always fighting.
Me, too. I felt bad, too.
And now, you know,
my chi's all backed up,
Nikki says.
And I know it's late,
but I thought
I'd come out here and say
I want to make up.
Bury the hatchet, you know,
put the past behind us,
bygones.
Well, I can't believe
you're saying this, kid,
after all...
Let me finish.
It's not, you know, easy.
You've done good here,
real good.
With Stella,
and the business...
And I just wanna say,
I'm proud of you,
and you don't owe me anything.
Well, I gotta say,
it's a huge relief.
With the week I'm having,
and after all these years.
Me, too.
Get home safe.
_
_
Irvig?
Do I know you?
It's Yuri,
back from the old country.
Da...
Am I not right?
You grew up in Ukraine.
No.
My bubbe, her people...
You know,
you hear the old stories,
how she fled from the Cossacks
in the middle of the night.
Five years old.
The men on horseback.
That is me.
- I'm sorry?
- Cossack.
When I saw your name...
You searched
for Mr. Vargas, yes?
I thought,
I know these Blumkins.
We rode them down like animals
back in old days,
raped their women,
ate their babies.
Did you get it?
Now, before
you have a feeling,
let's just both agree,
this is gonna be a process.
What are you...
He's a worthy
opponent, I'll give him that.
Not only does he
hide the trump card,
he rubs our faces
in it with a burro.
I bet he was all
sweetness and cream
when you talked to him.
Well, actually, you know what?
It felt kind of good.
We really... We talked,
and I think we got past it.
What do you...
No. Just...
No, you didn't...
I mean, no trace, right?
In and out. That's what we...
- Well...
- No. Come on.
Look at me.
It's clear now, I'm clear.
My chi, I can feel it.
And I did what you said.
We put it behind us.
Bygones. So...
Okay, to be fair,
that wasn't the plan.
You were supposed to...
While I broke in,
you would pretend to...
And you didn't see it, Ray.
He moved the stamp,
your brother.
He didn't trust you.
So he hung up, in its place...
If you saw what he hung up...
A donkey is what.
So, you see the symbolism.
Oh, he's good.
It's like I said,
he's got the physical
and the mental game.
Well, he may
have won this round,
but two can play at that...
We should... You should drive.
- Why?
- Just go.
- I don't...
- It's a message.
He sucker-punched me, Ray.
You were right.
Kept me talking
in the driveway
while the shifty fiancee
breaks in
looking for the stamp.
Where's the stamp?
The cleaning lady
broke the frame,
so I'm getting it fixed.
But he doesn't know that.
So they concoct
this genius strategy.
I should've seen it.
All these years, and suddenly
he gets a conscience?
I don't think so.
Why a tampon, though?
- Not that it...
- I'll tell you what, boy.
The gloves are off now.
He is D-O-N-E, done.
Like I said, it's about time.
And so,
here's what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna step in
and make this problem go away.
- Don't... I mean...
- I won't.
Just give him
the lay of the land.
He's dead to you.
To us.
We see your
brother again, he calls,
we go straight to the cops.
Rat him out to the city.
Dating a parolee.
Her parole officer.
There's gotta be
a law against that.
So, believe you me,
he'll scare.
That will be the end of that.
Hello?
Yeah?
Oh, Irv-- he is dead.
He jumped off
the parking garage.
Okay, Deb.
Thanks for calling.
What's...
Irv.
He jumped off the garage.
It's a tragedy.
It is.
He was 82.
So, a good life.
- Did you know him?
- I did.
A horrible man.
Have you notified
his next of kin?
We are his next of kin.
Of course. I meant
any other family
that he might have had,
outside of Minnesota.
I know he wasn't
from around here.
It's kind of,
to be honest, a mystery.
I mean,
as far as I can figure,
Ennis moved to
Eden Valley in 1980.
Married my mom in '82.
I was six.
And they were only together
for four years.
So, I mean, honestly,
we're not even family, really,
but I thought
Nathan should have
the influence of
a male elder in his life,
seeing as how his dad left.
You should ask
your mother, perhaps.
I would, except she's dead.
Of course. I'm sorry.
She's in the 21-J in ash.
So, if you know of any friends
Ennis may have had, or...
He didn't talk much.
Except to curse.
I think he may have
changed his name
before he moved here.
Did you ever hear
of Thaddeus Mobley
out of Los Angeles?
No, I'm afraid not.
Shall we choose a vessel?
No, I'm not...
Here's a tune.
It's called A Christmas Song.
Looks like it's
destined to become
one of the Yuletide season's
genuine standards.
There's a problem.
Is it you?
No, Ray.
It's you.
You and your
disgusting girlfriend.
Hey, now.
Sorry. Fiancee.
Look, there was, you know,
some mixed signals last night,
but I'm gonna call Emmit...
No. You're not.
In fact, you and Emmit
will never speak again.
Don't be, you know, dramatic.
Oh, I'm serious.
This is non-negotiable
after the stunt you pulled.
Feminine hygiene
deployed as a weapon.
I don't know what you're...
Are you listening to me?
You wanna watch your tone
when you talk to me,
errand boy.
- My tone?
- Your tone.
- My tone.
- Yeah, your...
This is between
me and my brother.
Never gonna happen.
Oh, yeah,
it's gonna happen all right.
You see that?
That's the last dime
you're ever gonna see
from the Parking Lot King
of Minnesota.
Yeah? Well, I got
something to show you, too.
Oh! What the shit?
Oh, jeez!
My car!
Look what that animal
did to my car!
Madeline,
call my wife, will ya?
Madeline?
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize
Mr. Stussy was expecting you.
- Mr. Stussy...
- It's okay, Madeline,
I got it.
What can we do
for you, friend?
Mr. Stussy,
what a day. What a day.
I was hoping to show the boys
their new office.
Their...
It's this way,
if I'm not mistaken.
Call Sy.
Uh, we don't...
- We're pretty full right now.
- No, no, no.
It says on the blueprints
there's an entire wing
you've just rented.
Expanding, are we?
Well, that...
We acquired some new lots.
Yeah, and who have you got
to thank for that, eh?
There we go. Perfect!
This is not...
You can't just...
Stop! Look...
Come on!
Stop!
We have rights.
Emmit. Emmit.
You're making a scene,
all right?
Now,
let's talk in your office.
- What's...
- They just...
I'm sorry, Mr. Feltz,
they just pushed their way in.
Oh, good. They're here.
Uh, nothing to worry about,
Madeline.
Remember how I said
we were expanding
our IT department?
No.
Well, we are. So...
Sorry, I was
dealin' with the...
What?
Your...
Did I tell you
what I like about this place,
Minnesota?
It's so perfectly,
sublimely bland.
Have you been to the Danube?
Or Gansu?
And the African continent...
Forget it.
North and south. Anarchy.
And, yes, you can still find
some relative stability
in the brutal nation states,
North Korea...
Putin's done some great things
with Russia.
You just have to know
which palms to grease.
But one wearies
of the constant
remunerations and
the petty shakedowns...
Meet the new boss,
same as the old boss.
Am I right?
Mr. Vargas?
Please, Sy...
Call me VM.
We're partners now.
We are not partners.
That... This...
- You lent us some...
- Capital.
Which we've told you,
we're happy to pay back
with interest.
You see, that's the problem
with you Americans.
You watch too many movies,
and you think
the deal can always
be changed, and it can't.
We're partners now,
and that's all there is to it.
So, you might as
well just lie back,
as they say,
and enjoy yourselves.
Let me tell you what it is
that attracts me
to the parking lot business,
yours in particular.
It's three things.
It runs on cash.
You don't use technology.
And that makes your income
impossible to verify.
'Cause who's to
say how many cars
parked in which spots
and for how long?
Mr. Vargas, VM, if I may...
We show, in our books...
We show a very consistent,
very steady,
predictable income
from lot to lot,
consistent with
several urban volume factors.
And if you start
goosing those numbers...
Well,
so we buy more lots.
Maybe branch out,
start developing
some multi-function commercial
and residential properties,
a new stadium, perhaps.
There.
There you go.
Now you're seeing it.
The inescapable reality.
You're trapped.
Don't look so sad.
By the time we're done,
you'll be billionaires.
On paper, at least.
Good. Well,
that's that out of the way.
Now, you may not see
much of me
for a couple of days,
brutal nation states and all,
but Yuri and Meemo
will be here
to make sure
everything runs smoothly.
And, oh, yes,
condolences on your attorney.
What makes it so tragic
is how avoidable it was.
But you understand,
I can't have people out there
investigating things.
Right.
_
_
Jeez.
_
_
_
Hey, Chief.
Thought we said 9:00.
Yeah.
But new chief showed up early.
Wants to gather the department
together first thing.
So, since the department
is you and me,
I figured
I'd come and get you.
- Ooh, is that coffee?
- Mmm.
Is that the box
you took from Ennis'?
Nathan at his dad's?
Hopefully.
Do you think
this Thaddeus Mobley fella
had something to
do with the murder?
I should say so,
seeing as how Ennis Stussy
and this Thaddeus Mobley
are one and the same.
Come again?
How's it you're in
my kitchen again?
Oh, the chief...
Well, the new chief.
Oh, right. The department.
Well...
Let's go see
if I still have a job.
You going by
the autopsy later?
They glued
his nose and mouth shut.
Are we thinking cause of death
is somehow a cliffhanger?
Guess not.
Did you canvass the local?
Any reports of
strange customers?
Well, Earl at the Gas N Go
intimated he might
have had a weird one.
Weird how?
Uh, Ron? It's... Hello?
- Hello.
- It's me.
Hello?
- Ron? Can you hear me?
- Is this you, Gloria?
I wanted to check on Nathan,
make sure he was getting...
Ah, I can't quite hear you.
- Ron, it's Gloria.
- Hello?
- Hold on, I'll call you...
- What's that?
Gosh.
Does yours do that?
Who?
Every time I make a call,
it's like
I'm in a silent movie.
_
Hold up, forgot my gun.
I'm here, right? You see me.
Is that a trick question?
"Keep it."
That's what he said.
This VM Vargas?
Yes. And we should have...
At the time when
we needed the loan,
we should have come to you.
Any idea what the VM
stands for?
You borrowed
$1,000,000 from a man
without knowing
his first name.
- I know how it...
- It's not a question.
I'm just assessing
the level of stupidity.
- Hey, hey.
- Irv, come on,
we don't have to...
You get a lot of
business from us.
Which, boychik,
will stop the moment
they arrest you
for money laundering.
At which time,
all your business
goes to a criminal attorney.
And might I recommend
Bruce Lipshits
in our Minneapolis office?
- We're not asking for...
- Irv, stop screwing around.
I need you to do some digging
on this guy, his outfit.
Now, we gave you his card
and the card
his reps gave to us last year.
You have the loan document,
on which is a phone number
and a mailing address.
There's also
a corporate ID number!
So unless you got
the brains of a monkey,
you should be able to friend
this cocksucker on Facebook,
and reel him in.
And then?
Then we get him to
take his money back
and forget he ever met us.
How's Stella?
Yeah, she's good.
You think I was
too hard on him?
Irv?
Ray.
At the anniversary party.
Look, he...
It's been a long time coming,
you saying no to him.
- Haven't I always...
- Nuh-nuh-nuh.
Like a Swiss watch.
Reliable. That's you.
- So he should have no...
- Yeah, but...
Lookit, don't go...
We've been
friends a long time.
Don't go getting soft here.
We talked about this.
It's for his own good.
A man like that,
used to blaming
others for his...
Maybe I should just
give him the stamp.
To what end?
You think that'll fix it?
Next thing he's going
to want is interest.
It's envy, the green monster.
- Your brother's a loser.
- He's not a loser.
Well, he's doing
a pretty good imitation.
And you're the goddamn
Parking Lot King of Minnesota.
He doesn't want
the stamp, pal.
He wants your life.
Deb?
What's it doing?
You hit "Enter"?
What's "Enter"?
It's a...
Now what do I...
Wait!
What happened?
Did I...
What did I...
I don't know.
- It just went.
- Uh-huh.
I'll check mine.
Mine's out, too.
Is it the power?
I mean, the lights are on.
I'll call the IT kid
that Shirley knows.
Zdraveyte,
as the Bulgarians say.
Pardon?
Ni hao is the Chinese.
The Corsicans use
the simple salut.
And guten Tag,
if German's your thing.
Is that... Are they with you?
Surmise.
What?
Because we arrived together,
we are together. Surmise.
- Well, are ya?
- Yes.
Can't park that here.
We got...
City's got an ordinance.
No, it's perfectly fine.
Mr. Stussy himself
gave me permission.
Who?
Your employer.
You do see the sign
above which you stand,
and how a man
with a keener sense of reason
might extrapolate a connection
with the name
I just mentioned.
Your boss.
- Look, mister...
- We're done here.
Okay then. Just... It's fine.
Like he said,
he's got permission.
No, I won't say
"from Mr. Stussy."
I'm not gonna create
the implication
of foreknowledge.
Of... Knowing before the fact.
They have permission.
They can park there.
Thanks.
_
Did you see this
bullshit in the paper?
Some old-timer
out in the country,
they push in his
front door, tie him up.
He runs a general store,
and some hopped-up junkie
thinks he takes
the register money home.
Ennis Stussy.
Eighty-two years old.
Not the Minnesota
I grew up in,
I'll tell you that.
It's a tragedy.
Do you need something?
Oh, uh... There's...
Maybe a problem, not sure yet.
Just, this Vargas fella...
I got a call
from the Oakbridge lot.
The raised one?
No. Ground lot,
under the highway.
- Doesn't get a lot of traffic.
- Right.
Why'd we buy that one again?
Sprawl-wise,
you thought it'd be
a good investment long-term.
Maybe turn it
into condos one day.
Right.
We should talk
to Stan Grossman about that.
Test the waters.
Yeah. I'll make a note.
Anyway, it seems there's
a big rig parked there now.
- In the lot?
- Mmm-hmm.
Well, that's against code.
Well, okay. There's that, too.
But more to the point,
what's in it?
And I'm a little troubled
by the escalation.
Money loaned is
one thing, but this?
A truck full of...
Well...
It could be anything.
Booze, guns...
The kind of demeanor
this fella has...
You think maybe it's...
I don't even
wanna say it out loud.
Slave girls?
What? No.
I was gonna say drugs.
You think it's slave girls?
No.
I mean, he's capable,
this Vargas fella,
don't you think?
Just from the one meeting.
We should probably
drive over there, take a look.
Or, and this is
the other way to go, not.
See, I'm thinking
about deniability.
What they call "plausible."
'Cause if we...
Look, if Irv's right, and we...
Then we know.
Which, in a court of law...
Got it.
That's... You're...
Good thinking.
So, what do we...
I think we gotta wait
and see what Irv turns up.
Then, whatever dirt, we use
to extricate
ourselves overall.
This is
the problem right here.
It's not even
a proper police station.
Where do you keep prisoners?
There's a store room,
computer boxes, paper towels,
or we drive 'em
10 miles to Paynesville.
Wait, you said computer boxes.
Where are the computers?
They're in the boxes.
Chief doesn't like computers.
Well, old chief. Sorry, Chief.
Oh, you don't like them?
It's not that
I don't like them.
I don't like them,
but that's not...
The old way works just fine.
Type out a report,
send it via telex.
You do know
what year it is, right?
The future.
We don't use...
Who uses telexes anymore?
So that's why no one
ever writes me back.
The point is, if I need
a record search or priors run,
I just call Jerry at County.
Yeah, or Lou-Ann,
if Jerry's sick
or out or something.
I'm sorry to be
doing this today,
with the loss of
your father and all...
Stepfather.
But you need to
get with the program.
It's not the '50s anymore
where people
don't lock their front doors.
People don't lock
their front doors. Not here.
Although they might now,
after what happened to Ennis.
I'm just saying.
Chief...
As much as I want to hear
about this future
you've come from,
I got a potential
witness to interview
who may have seen our perp
gas up on his way out of town.
- So I'm gonna...
- You know what?
I'm gonna go ahead and pretend
you didn't just
mouth off to me
like my teenage daughter.
And I'm gonna go ahead
and let you
brace your witness.
And then I'm gonna let you
take a few days off to grieve.
But this is a done deal.
You're being
absorbed by the county.
You work for me now.
So, when you get back,
you and the Chief, me,
are gonna have a long talk
about the way
things work around here.
I told Donny.
It was the Russians.
No. I think
he would've mentioned that.
This is Thursday night, yeah?
'Round 10:00 PM?
Why don't you start
from the beginning?
You know, it's whaddaya,
Thursday. I got the game on.
- Vikings?
- Gophers.
And it's one of those nights.
Miller, Miller Lite,
cigarettes, cigarettes,
motor oil.
And then some
twitchy kid comes in,
wants a case of
frozen orange juice
concentrate, which...
Is that...
Can you make meth from that?
Not last I heard.
Maybe just
a vitamin deficiency.
My point is,
I'm already primed for...
And then
this fella comes in...
- "Fella" singular?
- If singular means just one.
And he's looking for,
wants to know,
do I have a phone book?
And you're saying
this fella was Russian?
Yes, ma'am.
From, like, an accent, or...
Well, now,
I can't rightly say.
Maybe he told me.
Well, like I said,
I got the Gophers on.
But it's strong,
how I remember him.
So, I showed him
where the book was,
keep it on a chain.
Why do you keep
your phone book on a chain?
Well, remember in the '70s?
People used to steal 'em.
Anyhoo,
he looks through it, and then
just tears a page out.
Which, it's a public book,
which... Meant for everyone.
So, I raise a ruckus.
Can I see it?
- Hey!
- Gotta take this as evidence.
Evidence of what?
Well, fella stopped in here,
used your phone book,
tore out the page
with Ennis' information on it.
Shortly thereafter,
Ennis is asphyxiated.
So, I'd say,
evidence he was looking for
Ennis' house but
didn't know the address.
"And in time of great joy
they had meat
and fowl and grain.
And in time of sorrow,
they ate tears."
- Hey.
- See the game?
Not really.
Can I use your computer?
- What happened to yours?
- Vermin.
You still got that
con with the rack?
The what's that, now?
The brunette with
the nutcracker caboose?
I'm saying
her back end's so fit,
she could
probably crack a walnut.
- Swango.
- Right.
Her swango.
No, that's her name.
Nikki Swango.
_
Well, whatever she calls it,
I'd like to butter that bread.
_
Look, I got a...
One of my cons
blew his piss test,
Maurice LeFay.
What is he, Cajun?
No, he's from Wabasso,
I think.
Anyway,
he's MIA for his 9:00 AM,
and my thinking is
he likely flew the coop.
Saw the writing on the wall,
if you know what I mean.
So, issue a BOLO.
Jesus. You need me
to wipe your ass, too?
No. I'll do that.
Burt Lurdsman.
- What?
- Is the name.
His name.
The sponsor I told you about.
Potential.
I'm trying to visualize.
I...
They've got it listed as...
The initial report,
as accidental.
Maurice.
His cause of death,
misadventure
by major appliance.
Which is...
That's good, right?
He's in vacuum cleaners.
Invented some
kind of, whaddaya,
filter out of Bismarck.
And he's looking
for a new team.
Babe, we gotta...
I need you to focus.
We're not...
We dropped a 200-pound
AC on an ex-con,
and, yeah, it looks like
the cover-up's working,
but there's a long way to go
before we're out
of the woods here.
What the heck?
There's something
wrong with your chi.
The what's that?
Like, your energy flow.
You're all blocked up, babe.
We can't have that.
Well, I've...
I never killed anybody before.
Well, me either.
Life's a journey, you know?
I gotta be honest.
I got some remorse.
'Course you do.
You're not a heartless killer.
You got the soul of a poet.
I do?
You bet.
You're my honey bear.
What if they catch us?
You know what happens
to ex-law enforcement
in the clink?
They're not gonna catch us.
Like you said,
it was an accident.
Plus,
we'll be out of here today.
I gave a fake ID to the cops.
The apartment's rented
under an assumed name.
Anybody thinks to follow up,
and it's just a dead end.
What about the fella
that Maurice killed?
The other Stussy?
Wasn't he really old?
So?
Hon, they don't
look at those cases
as close as the young ones.
- I don't think that's...
- It's just common sense.
What with them being so close
to the grave and all.
Besides, you said yourself,
he messed up, your man,
killed some random
geriatric in the sticks
who happened to
have the surname.
So, even if they
wanted to solve it,
the police,
what possible solve is there,
besides
unfathomable pinheadery?
You've thought of everything.
That's us. Thought and action.
The next Burt Lurdsman
Grand National Champions.
Don't get any ideas, mister.
I'm on my period.
Just remember,
when the BOLO for Maurice
turns up a dead body,
you write "Case Closed,"
and file
the papers at
the dead-letter office.
Scotty's right. You got a real
nutcracker back there.
- Who?
- My boss.
We were talking, and...
You were talking about my ass
with your boss?
No.
He just... I was using his computer
on account of vermin
ate through my cord,
and he just...
He asked if I still had you
as a con, and I said...
I hate that word,
"con."
It's so negative.
We weren't talking
about your ass, hon.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
We're never gonna
land Burt Lurdsman
with your chi all
blocked up like this.
Well, okay,
how do I unblock it?
We gotta find some sort of
psychic Drano, or...
You know what it is,
don't you?
The blockage?
It's your stupid brother.
The history between you two
and how it made you go crazy,
and hire a doofus to
break into his house.
Hey, hon, I didn't hire him,
I was blackmailing him.
My point is,
this is a blood feud.
We can't be
fightin' a blood feud while
we're trying to land
a big-time sponsor.
We're just gonna
have to do it ourselves.
- Do?
- The stamp.
Get the stamp back.
Now, hon...
Well, it's either that,
or make peace with him.
Are you willing to do that?
Forgive and forget?
Bygones?
Who died?
When?
It's 10:30!
Shit. Did I wake you...
No. It's fine.
Stella's sleeping, though,
so let's talk over there.
I should've called.
Nah, it's...
Ray?
Sometimes when you do
a piss test, they...
Why not just put on
both the other pair?
Well, it happens a lot.
Basically, this is now my only
non-micturated footwear.
It's late, Ray.
It's 10:30.
Fine.
I felt bad about
how we left things, you know,
the thing between us,
and always fighting.
Me, too. I felt bad, too.
And now, you know,
my chi's all backed up,
Nikki says.
And I know it's late,
but I thought
I'd come out here and say
I want to make up.
Bury the hatchet, you know,
put the past behind us,
bygones.
Well, I can't believe
you're saying this, kid,
after all...
Let me finish.
It's not, you know, easy.
You've done good here,
real good.
With Stella,
and the business...
And I just wanna say,
I'm proud of you,
and you don't owe me anything.
Well, I gotta say,
it's a huge relief.
With the week I'm having,
and after all these years.
Me, too.
Get home safe.
_
_
Irvig?
Do I know you?
It's Yuri,
back from the old country.
Da...
Am I not right?
You grew up in Ukraine.
No.
My bubbe, her people...
You know,
you hear the old stories,
how she fled from the Cossacks
in the middle of the night.
Five years old.
The men on horseback.
That is me.
- I'm sorry?
- Cossack.
When I saw your name...
You searched
for Mr. Vargas, yes?
I thought,
I know these Blumkins.
We rode them down like animals
back in old days,
raped their women,
ate their babies.
Did you get it?
Now, before
you have a feeling,
let's just both agree,
this is gonna be a process.
What are you...
He's a worthy
opponent, I'll give him that.
Not only does he
hide the trump card,
he rubs our faces
in it with a burro.
I bet he was all
sweetness and cream
when you talked to him.
Well, actually, you know what?
It felt kind of good.
We really... We talked,
and I think we got past it.
What do you...
No. Just...
No, you didn't...
I mean, no trace, right?
In and out. That's what we...
- Well...
- No. Come on.
Look at me.
It's clear now, I'm clear.
My chi, I can feel it.
And I did what you said.
We put it behind us.
Bygones. So...
Okay, to be fair,
that wasn't the plan.
You were supposed to...
While I broke in,
you would pretend to...
And you didn't see it, Ray.
He moved the stamp,
your brother.
He didn't trust you.
So he hung up, in its place...
If you saw what he hung up...
A donkey is what.
So, you see the symbolism.
Oh, he's good.
It's like I said,
he's got the physical
and the mental game.
Well, he may
have won this round,
but two can play at that...
We should... You should drive.
- Why?
- Just go.
- I don't...
- It's a message.
He sucker-punched me, Ray.
You were right.
Kept me talking
in the driveway
while the shifty fiancee
breaks in
looking for the stamp.
Where's the stamp?
The cleaning lady
broke the frame,
so I'm getting it fixed.
But he doesn't know that.
So they concoct
this genius strategy.
I should've seen it.
All these years, and suddenly
he gets a conscience?
I don't think so.
Why a tampon, though?
- Not that it...
- I'll tell you what, boy.
The gloves are off now.
He is D-O-N-E, done.
Like I said, it's about time.
And so,
here's what's gonna happen.
I'm gonna step in
and make this problem go away.
- Don't... I mean...
- I won't.
Just give him
the lay of the land.
He's dead to you.
To us.
We see your
brother again, he calls,
we go straight to the cops.
Rat him out to the city.
Dating a parolee.
Her parole officer.
There's gotta be
a law against that.
So, believe you me,
he'll scare.
That will be the end of that.
Hello?
Yeah?
Oh, Irv-- he is dead.
He jumped off
the parking garage.
Okay, Deb.
Thanks for calling.
What's...
Irv.
He jumped off the garage.
It's a tragedy.
It is.
He was 82.
So, a good life.
- Did you know him?
- I did.
A horrible man.
Have you notified
his next of kin?
We are his next of kin.
Of course. I meant
any other family
that he might have had,
outside of Minnesota.
I know he wasn't
from around here.
It's kind of,
to be honest, a mystery.
I mean,
as far as I can figure,
Ennis moved to
Eden Valley in 1980.
Married my mom in '82.
I was six.
And they were only together
for four years.
So, I mean, honestly,
we're not even family, really,
but I thought
Nathan should have
the influence of
a male elder in his life,
seeing as how his dad left.
You should ask
your mother, perhaps.
I would, except she's dead.
Of course. I'm sorry.
She's in the 21-J in ash.
So, if you know of any friends
Ennis may have had, or...
He didn't talk much.
Except to curse.
I think he may have
changed his name
before he moved here.
Did you ever hear
of Thaddeus Mobley
out of Los Angeles?
No, I'm afraid not.
Shall we choose a vessel?
No, I'm not...
Here's a tune.
It's called A Christmas Song.
Looks like it's
destined to become
one of the Yuletide season's
genuine standards.
There's a problem.
Is it you?
No, Ray.
It's you.
You and your
disgusting girlfriend.
Hey, now.
Sorry. Fiancee.
Look, there was, you know,
some mixed signals last night,
but I'm gonna call Emmit...
No. You're not.
In fact, you and Emmit
will never speak again.
Don't be, you know, dramatic.
Oh, I'm serious.
This is non-negotiable
after the stunt you pulled.
Feminine hygiene
deployed as a weapon.
I don't know what you're...
Are you listening to me?
You wanna watch your tone
when you talk to me,
errand boy.
- My tone?
- Your tone.
- My tone.
- Yeah, your...
This is between
me and my brother.
Never gonna happen.
Oh, yeah,
it's gonna happen all right.
You see that?
That's the last dime
you're ever gonna see
from the Parking Lot King
of Minnesota.
Yeah? Well, I got
something to show you, too.
Oh! What the shit?
Oh, jeez!
My car!
Look what that animal
did to my car!
Madeline,
call my wife, will ya?
Madeline?
I'm sorry.
I didn't realize
Mr. Stussy was expecting you.
- Mr. Stussy...
- It's okay, Madeline,
I got it.
What can we do
for you, friend?
Mr. Stussy,
what a day. What a day.
I was hoping to show the boys
their new office.
Their...
It's this way,
if I'm not mistaken.
Call Sy.
Uh, we don't...
- We're pretty full right now.
- No, no, no.
It says on the blueprints
there's an entire wing
you've just rented.
Expanding, are we?
Well, that...
We acquired some new lots.
Yeah, and who have you got
to thank for that, eh?
There we go. Perfect!
This is not...
You can't just...
Stop! Look...
Come on!
Stop!
We have rights.
Emmit. Emmit.
You're making a scene,
all right?
Now,
let's talk in your office.
- What's...
- They just...
I'm sorry, Mr. Feltz,
they just pushed their way in.
Oh, good. They're here.
Uh, nothing to worry about,
Madeline.
Remember how I said
we were expanding
our IT department?
No.
Well, we are. So...
Sorry, I was
dealin' with the...
What?
Your...
Did I tell you
what I like about this place,
Minnesota?
It's so perfectly,
sublimely bland.
Have you been to the Danube?
Or Gansu?
And the African continent...
Forget it.
North and south. Anarchy.
And, yes, you can still find
some relative stability
in the brutal nation states,
North Korea...
Putin's done some great things
with Russia.
You just have to know
which palms to grease.
But one wearies
of the constant
remunerations and
the petty shakedowns...
Meet the new boss,
same as the old boss.
Am I right?
Mr. Vargas?
Please, Sy...
Call me VM.
We're partners now.
We are not partners.
That... This...
- You lent us some...
- Capital.
Which we've told you,
we're happy to pay back
with interest.
You see, that's the problem
with you Americans.
You watch too many movies,
and you think
the deal can always
be changed, and it can't.
We're partners now,
and that's all there is to it.
So, you might as
well just lie back,
as they say,
and enjoy yourselves.
Let me tell you what it is
that attracts me
to the parking lot business,
yours in particular.
It's three things.
It runs on cash.
You don't use technology.
And that makes your income
impossible to verify.
'Cause who's to
say how many cars
parked in which spots
and for how long?
Mr. Vargas, VM, if I may...
We show, in our books...
We show a very consistent,
very steady,
predictable income
from lot to lot,
consistent with
several urban volume factors.
And if you start
goosing those numbers...
Well,
so we buy more lots.
Maybe branch out,
start developing
some multi-function commercial
and residential properties,
a new stadium, perhaps.
There.
There you go.
Now you're seeing it.
The inescapable reality.
You're trapped.
Don't look so sad.
By the time we're done,
you'll be billionaires.
On paper, at least.
Good. Well,
that's that out of the way.
Now, you may not see
much of me
for a couple of days,
brutal nation states and all,
but Yuri and Meemo
will be here
to make sure
everything runs smoothly.
And, oh, yes,
condolences on your attorney.
What makes it so tragic
is how avoidable it was.
But you understand,
I can't have people out there
investigating things.