Fargo (2014–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - The Crocodile's Dilemma - full transcript
A rootless, manipulative man meets a small town insurance salesman and sets him on a path of destruction.
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[Melancholy string music]
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[Orchestration swells]
(Man on radio) They won't.
She won't stop, you know?
Day after...
I was a maker.
I hope they do it tonight...
When she's sleeping.
- But I'm scared...
- [Click]
[Thudding]
[Muffled shouting]
[Muffled shouting, thudding]
[Panting]
[Coughs, grunts]
[Deer wheezing]
[Rhythmic thumping]
[Gurgling, thumping]
[Woman speaking indistinctly]
She said that I gotta make a meat loaf.
I said we'd bring Jell-O
salad, but Kitty said meat loaf.
So...
Hon.
- So what's that, hon?
- [Scoffs]
I said it's Gordo's birthday tonight.
We're supposed to be at
your brother's at 4:00,
with meat loaf.
[Washing machine continues thumping]
Sounds, uh, different today...
don't ya think?
Like, angry?
I'm washing towels. It's a towel sound.
Huh.
Kitty said they just got
one of those fancy
European all-in-ones.
Says it washes and dries. One machine.
Can you believe that?
Bet that set them back a penny.
[Laughs] He can afford it, your brother.
Kitty said he just got a big promotion
after only working there a year.
Kitty said they also got
one of those fancy new
surround sound systems.
Guess I married the wrong Nygaard.
Oh! Heh heh heh.
That's what I said. We had a good laugh.
Well, it's just slow now at the shop.
Oh, hon. That's what ya always say...
"slow."
[Washing machine quiets down]
Well...
better get back to it.
You make your own wins.
That's what Kitty said Chaz told her.
Salesmen make their own wins.
You gotta try harder, hon.
Smile, for Pete's sake.
Maybe wear a nicer tie.
You gave me this tie.
Well, if you were a better salesman,
I'd have bought you a nicer tie.
At least take a look.
I keep thinking maybe it's the settings.
Kitty says Chaz fixes things
around the house all the time.
Says he took the toaster
apart over the weekend.
Now it's good as new.
Browns to beat the band.
[Machine gurgling, thumping]
(Lester) So that's, uh...
like I said, there's two kinds of policies
you should be thinking about.
You got your whole life and...
your whole life plus, which covers
the same benefits of whole life
plus... a heck of a lot more.
Well, we just came in to get
Charline on my health care.
On account of I'm having a baby.
Yeah. A boy, we're hoping.
Or a little girl.
I'd just about hug the
pants off a little girl.
Oh, yeah? Well, uh...
Even more... [Stammers]
All... all the more reason to, uh...
because what happens... what happens
if you have an accident at your job?
- I work at the library.
- Okay.
What happens if you have a car crash
and go out the windshield?
O... or say you're up a ladder,
cleaning out the gutters,
and you fall off the darn
thing and break your neck?
These things happen every day.
And people fall asleep smoking in bed.
They burn to death.
What I'm saying is the
morgue is... is full of guys
thought they didn't need life insurance.
For... for peace of mind, I'm saying,
to know that your little boy... or girl.
Right. Or little girl is taken care of.
We're supposed to be at my mom's by 4:00.
Yeah. So we're gonna...
Oh! O... okay.
Well, at least let me give you a brochure.
Or... or I got these pens.
I got these nif-nifty
pens. Look at that, huh?
[Clicking pen] With most of the colors...
Okay, well, if you
change your mind then, uh,
give me a...
[Pen clatters]
[Quietly] Aw, heck.
[Car horn honks, dog barks]
Will ya look at that?
- What is it, dad?
- Yeah, dad.
- What is it?
- Oh, h... hey, Sam.
That, there, boys... is a black man.
He don't look black, dad.
Yeah, dad, he don't look black.
- More like a big pumpkin.
- Ha ha. Yeah!
Yeah, like a big, stupid pumpkin.
Lester... Niggered.
Now, come on, Sam, it... it's Nygaard,
just like in high school.
You went to high school
with a black man, dad?
- Yeah, dad, did you?
- Shut up.
How you been, Lester?
- Oh, yeah, real good.
- Yeah?
Yeah. Me too.
Yeah, trucking company's doing super.
Got rigs all over the Great Lakes.
Just bought a summer house up Bear island.
It's pretty sweet.
[Chuckling]
Hey, you remember the story I told you
of the boy I put in the oil drum
and rolled onto the highway?
- Is that him, dad?
- Yeah, dad, is that him?
[Laughs] Oh, you betcha.
[Whispers] Betcha.
[Laughing]
Good old Lester pencil dick.
- Oh... Ahem.
- Hey, say, Lester,
what was the name of that girl
you went with in high school?
You know, uh... the curvy one.
- It's Pearl, yeah.
- [Whispers] Yeah.
Pearl... what a rack on that girl, huh?
Dad's saying she had big titties.
Yeah, I know what "rack"
means, you fairy...
- Ow.
- Yeah, dad, ow!
You know, she gave me a tug once.
Homecoming senior year,
with the nice, fat hands.
Real soft.
We're married now. Going on 18 years.
[Laughs] Oh, dad, that's embarrassing.
Yeah, dad, super embarrassing.
18 years, huh?
Yeah. That's something.
Never knew what she saw in you, really.
[Chuckles] Oh, well, I...
No, I mean... help me out.
Is it your stupid pencil dick
or your little rat face?
Yeah, well, uh...
I should get back to it.
Oh, come on.
Did I ever tell ya how I used
to beat this little guy up
in high school?
And write my name on my fist
in sharpie 'fore I'd punch him,
so everyone else would know who did it.
- That's a good one, dad.
- Yeah, dad, real good one.
Remember?
[Ominous music]
♪
Yeah, I... it's a long time ago, but...
[laughter]
[Laughs]
Oh, what a day.
[Indistinct announcement over P.A.]
[Groans]
Excuse me... Miss?
Do you think, uh... will it be much longer?
This thing hurts like the dickens.
- We'll call your name.
- Yeah, but I've been here
- an hour already.
- We'll call your name.
[Groans]
- Could I have a sip?
- Hmm?
Oh.
Heck, take the whole can.
Can't drink the darn thing without a straw.
Ahh.
Whew.
[P.A. chimes] ICU resident on call,
please contact... [continues indistinctly]
- [Sighs]
- Obliged.
Mm.
What happened to your nose?
Oh, it was, uh...
[Grunts] It was just a...
misunderstanding.
Now, was this you
misunderstanding the other fella,
or him misunderstanding you?
Pardon?
Who misunderstood whom?
Oh, no, what I'm saying...
It's, uh...
it's not good to dwell on these things.
Why?
Pardon?
Why is it not good to
dwell on these things?
Especially things that
put you in the hospital.
[Beep, indistinct announcement over P.A.]
Uh...
Well, I was... ahem... I was outnumbered,
if you wanna know the truth.
Three to one.
I mean, big... big guys
too... well, one of them.
Other two were just kids,
but big for their age, you know?
If I was any kind of man,
I'd have shown that Sam what's what.
Sam?
[Whispers] Hess.
The bully in high school,
and he's a bully now.
So why didn't ya?
Show him what's what?
Well, his...
he had his sons with him and...
You let a man beat you
in front of his children
- to send them a message?
- No, that's not...
Heck.
Just...
heck.
In my experience,
if you let a man break your nose,
the next time, he tries
to break your spine.
Sam... no way. Mm-mm.
I mean, I don't think...
It just, uh... I guess I, uh,
embarrassed him in front of his boys.
- You embarrassed him?
- Yeah. By, uh...
He was telling me about a
time where he and my wife,
they were, uh... hmm.
But he didn't know she
was my wife is the thing,
and when I told him...
- wha...
- This man has slept with your wife,
and you're worried about embarrassing him.
Uh-uh. Not slept. No, they didn't, uh...
He said it was just...
she has soft hands,
see, and, uh, I guess...
No, mister, we're not friends.
I mean, maybe we will be someday.
But I gotta say,
if that were me in your position...
I would have killed that man.
Well, now...
Come on. [Chuckles]
[Quietly] You said he bullied
you in high school, right?
Four years.
[Sighs]
Gave me an ulcer.
You know what, one time,
he put me in an oil barrel
and rolled me in the road.
Seriously?
And now he tells you that...
he had relations with your wife.
He bullies you again in
front of his children.
This is a man who doesn't
deserve to draw breath.
Yeah, okay, but, uh...
- Here's the thing.
- No. That is the thing.
Well, heck!
I mean, o... okay.
Okay. But...
What am I supposed to do?
Heck, you're so sure about it,
maybe you should just kill him for me.
You're asking me to kill this man.
No, that was... I was joking.
Mr. Nygaard?
Uh, y... yeah, that's
me. Ju... o... one second.
We... we... we... we're just
two fellas talking, right?
We're just... blowing off steam.
- Sir, it's real busy.
- Like I said, one second.
Sam Hess.
No, just... just one second. That is not...
Sir!
Just one word. Yes or no.
Sir, I'm going to give your spot...
Yeah! Aah! Yeah, I'm coming, for...
Pete's sake.
[Police radio chatter]
Cold enough for ya, Chief?
Supposed to get down to -10 later.
Yeah. Heard that.
Don't much like the sound of negative.
Thought I'd strip down to my shorts,
work on my tan.
So what's this here then?
Chief, I arrived on
the scene at 1300 hours.
Found this '93 New Yorker.
Looks like she fled the
road and crashed the fence.
I found a set of footprints
leading away from the car.
Thought possibly our
driver injured, you know,
got confused, wandered into the woods.
I was just about to investigate.
There's blood here. Hair too.
Yeah. Saw that.
I was thinking maybe a deer, but, uh,
couldn't find the evidence, so...
Here it is.
Son of a gun.
Blood on the steering wheel.
Driver could have hit his head.
Or her head.
You check the trunk?
No, sir.
Huh.
So you wanna take a look
at those footprints then?
Sounds good.
How's Ida?
Any day now.
You got a name picked out?
[Chuckles] Can't get that woman
to decide what color to paint the nursery.
Can't believe I missed
that deer in the trunk.
Don't take it hard. Been
doing this a long time.
Never checked for a deer in the trunk.
Or any wildlife.
Chief.
[Patsy Cline's "Sweet
Dreams (Of you)" plays)
♪
♪ Sweet ♪
- * dreams... *
- Hi, hon.
(Woman) In the kitchen.
♪ Every night ♪
♪ I go through ♪
Something smells good.
Your boy wanted a hamburger.
Sounds like my boy. [Chuckles]
♪ And start my life anew ♪
♪ Instead of having ♪
♪ Sweet dreams of you ♪
♪
Molly found a wreck out on 71.
How's she doing?
- Molly?
- Mm.
- Yeah, good.
- I always liked her.
Yeah, she's a peach. Anyhoo,
looks like the driver
tried to head out on foot.
He got lost and froze
to death in the woods.
- Oh, my.
- Yah.
Funny thing is, the fellow
was just wearing underpants.
- That so?
- Yah.
- No I.D., nothing.
- Hmm.
Couldn't find his clothes anywhere.
Maybe he ate 'em.
Hmm.
I was thinking maybe blue.
- For the nursery.
- Oh, yeah?
Mm. Earlier I was thinking maybe blue.
- Then I changed my mind.
- Blue's nice.
Maybe green.
Well, I'm ready to get painting.
Soon as you decide.
You're a good man, Vern Thurman.
My sister was crazy
telling me not to marry you.
Your sister is crazy.
Mm.
[Hydraulics hissing]
[Plastic creaking]
- [Pop, air squeaking]
- Ha ha.
Dad said we could take turns.
Yeah? Dad said that he also thinks
you've got a potato brain, so...
Hey...
Shut up!
You're doing it wrong.
You need to press your forearm
into the back of his neck,
grab your elbow with the other hand
to choke him right out.
W... what you want, mister?
Yeah, mister. What do you want?
Sign outside says Hess & Sons.
- Which one's the older boy?
- Me.
I'm Mickey.
You know, so... that leaves
me in charge when dad is gone.
Are not! Mom said...
Mom has nothing to do with it, sister!
Hey!
Help you with something?
Sam Hess?
Who wants to know?
Me.
Only two reasons to
come to my shop, friend.
Either you need a truck
or you drive a truck, huh?
You a truck driver?
I was just talking to your boys.
I think the younger one's a little dim.
What did you say?
His IQ seems low, I'm saying.
Have you had him tested?
Hit him, dad!
Yeah, dad, hit him!
[Clears throat]
I'm gonna restrain myself...
you know, on account of you
got an obvious head injury,
and not beat you to death with a tire iron.
But I'm gonna ask you again...
what the heck do you want?
I just wanted to have a look at ya.
Okay. That'll do it.
(Pearl) How does a grown
man fall over his own feet?
(Lester) It was ice. I slipped on ice.
- We should have canceled.
- Oh, don't be a baby.
[Doorbell rings]
Hi! Hey, we're here.
[Pearl giggling]
[Doorbell rings]
- We're here.
- Hi!
Come on in. Chaz is working the ham.
Oh.
Took the whole team down to Duluth Tuesday.
Big spread at the Marriott.
Oh, I always wanted to stay there.
Yeah, it's real sweet... king-size bed,
view of the lake... you name it.
- Boss took me out for dinner.
- Just the two of 'em.
Steak big as a catcher's mitt.
Said, "Chaz, you're going
places in this world."
Gave him a raise and a corner office.
Yeah. Hear that, Lester?
A corner office.
- Yeah. Real good.
- And him, your younger brother.
- Yeah, I said I heard.
- Vice president, sales.
- Midwest region.
- Mm-hmm.
Bought the surround sound to celebrate.
I mean, it's pretty sweet, huh?
- [Tv in background]
- [Laughs] You're gonna have to marry that ham,
you get any more familiar with it.
Saw it on Rachael Ray.
She said that massaging
breaks the muscle down,
makes the meat juicier.
[Giggles] Lester never
wants to try new things.
Now, hold on. That's not true.
We make Gordo try stuff all the time.
Chaz says we have to open his horizons.
Broaden his horizons.
It's a big world, you know.
There is more to life than just Minnesota.
Took a real tumble, huh?
There's a... a spot over
by the fire station...
it's always icy.
Don't know what the heck I was thinking.
Lester.
[Sighs] Ohh! Come out to the garage.
Help me get some more beer.
Took Gordo to a specialist last month.
Think he might have the autism.
Hmm?
Won't stop drawing on
the walls, and Kitty...
she said she found a
Mason jar in his closet.
I guess that he pees in it at night.
[Tab pops]
Huh. What's that about?
Hey, wanna see something cool?
Sure.
[Whistles] Sweet!
Yeah, not those.
- Aw, jee... what is that?
- That there...
is your M249 SAW light machine gun,
sometimes referred to as "the piglet."
Are you allow... c...
can you even have that?
Is it legal? Technically, no way.
But I got a buddy works
supply over at Camp Ripley,
and, heck, I'm an American.
I pay my taxes.
- [Both laughing]
- You wanna take a look?
It's gas-operated, air-cooled.
Shoots 725 rounds per minute.
Oh!
Oh. Oh, jeez.
You should've told me it was so heavy.
- Is it okay?
- No, Lester!
It's not okay! You...
Here...
You broke the darn...
Why are you such a G-D screw-up?
Hey, now. Ever since you were...
And now Kitty... she said
she talked to Pearl last week,
and she's had it... your wife.
Said you been acting plain
weird... just moping around.
Said she caught you
standing in the bathroom
with your toothbrush in your
hand just looking in the mirror.
Said foam was coming out of
your mouth like a rabid dog.
Oh, come on! That's... not...
How I may or may not be feeling.
And for your information,
I hadn't had a lot of
sleep the night before,
so... so the toothpaste,
that was just nothing!
Did you really trip on the
ice and break your nose?
Yeah. Yes.
I... I told you, outside the fire station.
You know they run the
hoses and wash the trucks,
and it gets all slippery and wet.
Ohh, you know guys at work...
they talk about how they
look up to their brothers.
Their older brothers.
Sometimes I tell people you're dead.
I mean, heck, Lester, you're 40 years old.
When are you gonna get your act together?
(Pearl) Your own brother?
You didn't have to hit him.
I mean, seriously, what
is the matter with you?
Your own brother!
♪ I met my only one ♪
[overlapping chatter]
♪ While roamin' down ♪
Yes, one more.
Yes, one more time.
Before the 17th.
Do you need this to look like an accident?
Figure it out and call me back.
[Telephone rings]
- Realty.
- It's me.
St. Paul. Your call was expected yesterday.
I got delayed.
Problems?
Car troubles. Fixed now.
But you finished the assignment.
Of course.
And when can they expect you in Duluth?
The new client is anxious to begin.
Soon. I took a detour.
And the nature of this... detour?
It's personal.
Shouldn't be more than a day or two.
I'll let Duluth know.
All right.
[The Crystal Method's "Trip like I do" plays]
♪ Another world ♪
♪ Another time ♪
♪ In the age of wonder ♪
♪
[Conversing softly]
♪ Another time ♪
♪ This land was green and good ♪
♪ The crystal ♪
♪
- Okay.
- [Sam grunting]
Yah.
Oh, yah, big fella.
Uhh! Oh, yah.
Yah. Oh. That's good.
[Wet cough] [Gasps]
Oh!
Uh...
Aah!
[Telephone ringing]
Yeah? No.
[Beep]
Yep?
Aw, jeez, where?
Okay.
Pick me up, huh?
[Beep]
- Gotta go?
- Mm.
Homicide.
Molly's coming to get me.
Go back to sleep, hon.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
[Grunts]
- Thanks.
- Ida sleeping?
Yep.
[Police radio chatter]
What you want me to write
for "cause of death"?
Put "self-explanatory."
You okay there, Bill?
Oh, yeah. Threw up a bit ago.
- Not in here, I hope.
- Oh, no.
Went out to the parking lot. [Sighs]
Wife made spaghetti for dinner.
Seemed a shame to barf it up.
[Police radio chatter]
I'm okay now, so long as I don't look.
Aw, heck.
That's Sam Hess.
Hess that owns the trucking company?
Yeah, with the two boys
both dumb as a dog's foot.
Hold on. Isn't Hess tied
to that syndicate of fellas out of Fargo?
Gunrunners and such?
So they say. Never seen the proof.
Well, jeez, you... I mean,
you think this could be,
like, an organized crime thing?
You know, a hit or the like.
I don't know what I think yet,
except I was warm in bed half an hour ago.
How many times I gotta tell ya?
You can't just take the
sheets off of one bed
and stick 'em on another.
It's "unsanitory."
I shake 'em out first.
You don't have the sense
God gave a clam, do ya?
Go shovel the walk.
- I need a room.
- Just you?
- Pardon?
- Is it just for you, the room?
What difference does that make?
It's a different rate for two.
And if you got pets... dog,
cat... it's an extra 10 bucks.
What if I got a fish?
'Scuse me?
Would a fish cost me $10?
Or what if I kept spiders or mice?
What if I had bacteria?
Sir, bacteria are not pets.
- Could be.
- Sir, perhaps
you'd be happier in a different motel?
I just wanna know the policy.
You see, I'm a student of institutions.
Sir, do you have a pet or not?
[Laughs] Oh, no. It's just me.
Why do you let her talk to you like that?
Aw, she's not that bad.
Son, she compared you to a clam.
Well, what should I do?
A guy insulted me once.
I pissed in his gas tank.
Car never drove straight again.
[Line ringing]
(Woman) Leroy's Motor Inn.
Oh, yes, ma'am, I'm looking out my window,
and there's a young fellow
urinating in the gas tank
of a red Cavalier.
Son of a...
Hey! Hey!
You little...
[woman shrieks]
- Warm ya up, hon?
- Yeah, thanks, dad.
Whatcha looking at?
Murder file.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Sam Hess got himself killed last night
over at the Lucky Penny.
You don't say.
Knife in the head.
You didn't hear that from me.
Hey, there, Molly, Lou.
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- Eggs over medium?
- Won't say no.
- How's the leg?
- Eh.
Goes from my ass to the
ground just like the other.
Thinking of doing some
ice fishing this weekend.
Sorry to hear it.
- Interested?
- No, sir.
The only thing I ever caught
fishing in winter was a cold.
Say, Chief, listen, I been thinking
about that fella in the
snow with the underpants?
- Mm-hmm?
- Something odd about that.
You're saying other than the fact
- that he was just wearing panties?
- Yeah.
See, we know from the wreck
that whoever was driving
cracked their head on
the steering wheel, right?
- But the fella in the snow...
- No head injury.
- Yeah. So you see...
- That's some good
- police work there, Deputy.
- Oh, thanks.
But if he's not the driver,
I guess we gotta ask...
Who is he?
Ran his prints. Nothing.
Plus, turns out the car was stolen.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, over in Grand Forks.
I called the local pd. I'm
just waiting on a callback.
Any thoughts there on Hess?
Uh, no, not as such.
The, um... lady that Hess was with?
Didn't get a good look
at the fella killed him
on account of all the
blood in her eyes, but, um,
you know, we're checking
the knife for prints.
Oh, also, Bill's going
around to local stores,
see if maybe the knife
was bought here in Bemidji.
You'll make a good chief one day.
Me?
What about Bill? He's got seniority.
Bill cleans his gun with bubble bath.
No, it'll be you.
If you want.
[Chuckles]
When you talk to the
police, just keep it simple.
"Thanks, but no thanks," in other words.
I've already talked to Fargo,
and they want to deal with this themselves.
They're sending guys.
Deal with what? He was in a whorehouse.
Glad he's dead.
Ma, don't talk like that.
Yeah, ma, don't talk like that.
Makes me live in the North Pole,
and then he's got the nerve to...
I'm not kidding.
I'm gonna sing at his funeral.
Mm-hmm.
♪ La la la la la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
[Sobbing]
[Telephone rings]
Mr. Mickey, you have a phone call.
She said me, you doofus.
- Can I come?
- No!
Jeez! Just stay here with ma.
- Hello?
- Mickey? Lewis Grossman.
Your dad's estate attorney.
First of all,
I'd like to say how
sorry I am for your loss.
Okay.
Next thing is
I'm responsible for overseeing
the dispersal of your dad's vast estate.
- You mean the money?
- Right.
Money, real estate, holdings,
automobiles and, uh...
Well, there's no delicate way to put this.
The will was very clear.
Your dad decided to give everything
to your younger brother Moe.
- Are you kidding?
- I know it's hard to hear.
But the will was very specific.
"I leave the entirety of my vast estate
to my second-born
and favorite son Moe."
That's sweet.
He must have really loved that boy.
Anyway, that's it.
Once again, I'm sorry for your loss.
If you have any questions,
please don't hesitate to call me.
(Vern) Well, like I said, Mrs. Hess,
we're checking some things on our end,
but if there's anything you could tell us
- about your husband's business...
- Appreciate the visit, Chief,
but Mrs. Hess had no kind of
involvement with Sam's business.
Frankly, she's mystified,
her husband being a pillar
of the community and all.
I mean, heck,
voted Bemidji businessman
of the year, 1996 and '98.
- Who was it?
- [Mouthing]
- (Vern) Yah.
- Like I said, it's a puzzler.
Course, we both know some of your boys
have had run-ins with
the law in the past...
stolen merchandise charges and the like.
And, you know, the staties had that case
as to maybe your outfit's got
ties to that crime syndicate
- out of Fargo.
- Whoa, wh...
You're gonna stand here...
let me get this straight.
You're gonna stand here and
call the victim a criminal
in front of his wife, his kids?
Well, no, no one's
calling anyone a criminal.
Just trying to figure out what happened.
Chief! 217! 217!
Uhh! Ugh!
[Laughing]
[Indistinct chatter on radio]
Don't need me to tell you
it was a cold one out there.
And as of right now,
nothing much has changed.
So let's take a look at where we are...
What the heck...
We got 5 degrees in Duluth...
[Bell jingles]
[Sighs]
- Hey, Lester.
- Oh, hiya, Bo.
Jeez, what happened to your face there?
You know that spot near the fire station?
- Where they wash the trucks?
- Yep. Slipped on the ice.
Oofta.
Say, Lester, I need you to
pull the file on Sam Hess.
On... who now?
Sam Hess, you know,
owns the truck depot over on winslow.
You know, big fella?
Yeah, well, he's dead.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, shame.
It's a big policy.
Murder, they're saying.
Stabbed to death is what I heard.
You okay there, Lester?
Sure. Uh...
Sure. Y... you know I went
to high school with him?
You don't say. Well, anyway,
I need you to pull the policy on that.
I have to get on the
phone with his wife later.
Uh...
Did you...
[Exhales] Jeez.
Did you really kill him? Sam?
Oh, my God.
Is Sam dead?
How do you feel about that?
Well, I mean...
of course, it's,
you know, a tragedy.
Well, why'd you kill him then?
Now hold on a second!
I never...
Well, actually, you did.
Remember, yes or no?
- I never said yes.
- Didn't say no.
No. That won't... come on.
That won't... in a court of law...
Who said anything about a court of law?
I just mea...
I... jeez.
And he had a wife, you
know, and those boys.
Lester, he put you in a barrel
and rolled you in the road.
Your problem is you spent your whole life
thinking there are rules.
There aren't.
We used to be gorillas.
All we had is what we
could take and defend.
The truth is, you're more of a man today
than you were yesterday.
How do you figure?
It's a red tide, Lester,
this life of ours.
The shit they make us eat...
day after day, the boss,
the wife, et cetera,
wearing us down.
If you don't stand up to it,
let 'em know you're still an ape
deep down where it counts,
you're just gonna get washed away.
Phone call, Chief.
It's the wife.
- Hey, hon.
- White.
- White what?
- I decided
we're gonna paint the nursery white.
- It's already white.
- Well...
I wanna paint it again.
The baby's room should have
a new coat, don't you think?
I do. Any particular shade?
- What do you mean?
- Well, you got
your bright white, your snow white...
Eggshell.
[Exhales]
Right. There's eggshell.
Oh. I hadn't thought of that.
I tell you what... why
don't I stop by the hardware
and pick up some different shades,
and we'll figure it out tonight?
We're having a baby, Vern.
That's true.
No. I mean it's finally sinking in.
We're gonna have a baby.
I can't wait.
I'll see you soon.
Is there anything else you need there?
Nope. I'm good.
(Molly) Come in, Chief.
This is Vern. Go ahead.
Chief, I'm over at the hospital.
I was checking on the Hess boy, and, uh...
- How is he?
- Oh, you know,
broken collar bone, got
his bell rung pretty good.
- That's a shame.
- Yeah.
Hey, so I got to talking to Sue Roundtree,
and I asked her if they had
any head injuries lately...
you know, my theory about
the driver and the wreck...
and she says they did, yesterday.
Real peculiar fella,
she says. Real intense.
And here's where it gets interesting.
'Cause she says the
fella with the head injury
was talking to another
fella about Sam Hess.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes, sir.
Says the two was thick as thieves.
So suddenly I'm thinking,
maybe these two cases,
maybe they're connected, huh?
Could be.
She say who the other fellow was?
Uh, Lester Nygaard.
Really?
- Oh, you know him?
- Sure, I know Lester.
Sells insurance over at Bo's shop.
Yeah. Yeah, I called
over, and they're closed,
so I was gonna go by Lester's place.
No, I know Lester. I'll do it.
You call it a day. Good work.
[Door closes]
[Clatter in distance]
[Keys jingle]
- Lester?
- In the basement.
[Clattering continues]
[Ratcheting sound]
- Whatcha doing, hon?
- Oh.
I'm, uh, trying to fix the darn thing.
It looks like the motor mount broke.
You sure you know what you're doing?
Seems pretty straightforward.
So wanna give her a try?
- There's nothing in it.
- Oh.
For... for a test, I'm saying.
[Click]
[Motor hums]
[Thumping, metal squeaking]
Turn it off.
Turn it off!
[Noise dies away]
You killed it.
- You killed my washing machine.
- No, I was...
it was the...
the tide, you know?
I... I was, um, standing up to the...
I was...
I was being a man.
[Laughs]
But you're not a man, Lester.
You're not even half a man.
Honestly, I don't know what
got into me marrying you.
My mom said, "don't do it, Pearl."
She said, "he's the kind of
boy that loses all the time."
"And you know what those
boys grow up to be, don't ya?
Losers."
Take that back.
Or what?
What are you gonna do?
You can't even face me
when we're having sex.
Now, hold on! That is you not facing me!
That's so I can picture a real man.
Oh!
Hmm.
You take that back.
Or what? What are you gonna do?
Oh! [Laughs] You gonna hit me?
That's a lau...
[crack]
Oh.
[Ominous music]
♪
Aw, jeez.
Aw, jeez. Oh, jeez.
[Thud, thud] Oh, God, I'm sorry.
[whimpering]
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
[dramatic music]
♪
[line rings]
[Click] Uh, yeah, it's me.
You gotta help me out.
I've done something bad.
(Woman) Leroy's Motor Inn.
Oh! Hi. Can I have room 23, please?
[Line rings]
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it... it's me. It's Lester.
Uh... she's, uh... my
wi... my wife, she's, uh...
Oh, hell. Um...
Look, I think I, uh...
she's in the basement dead,
and, uh, look, I'm freaking out here.
I don't know what to do.
Lester, have you been a bad boy?
Ha...
jeez.
Yeah. [Sobs]
The hammer and, uh... look...
can you come over? I'm
on Willow Creek Drive.
Number 613.
[Whispers] Please!
[Normal voice] Please?
Sure, Lester. I'll be right there.
Thank you! Thank you.
Here we go.
What did you do?
You killed her!
What did you do? [Breathing hard]
You killed her.
[Knock at door]
You killed her!
Hey, there, Lester.
- It'll get down to -10 tonight I hear.
- Ah.
- Is Pearl home?
- Uh, no, no.
- She's at my brother's.
- Okay, then.
How's the nose?
Ah, this, uh...
- It hurts.
- [Both chuckle]
How'd it happen anyway?
Slipped. Over by the fire station.
Ouch. You go to the hospital?
Mm-mm. Yeah. They set it.
You talk to anyone while you were there?
Uh... What do you mean?
Well, the reason I'm here...
I'm not sure you heard.
Sam Hess got killed last
night at the Lucky Penny.
- Oh... Yeah.
- Nasty business.
And, well, I heard you were
talking to another fella
about Hess before he died.
Over at the hospital.
No. I don't think so.
What was his name again? The other fella?
[Clock chiming "cuckoo"]
Ha ha!
You okay, Lester? You seem a bit...
seem a bit jumpy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
just, you know, um...
Pearl is gonna be home soon,
and, um... [Clears throat]
Lester, listen to me very carefully.
I need you to get down on the ground.
Now, wait... wait just a second.
- Lester, on the ground.
- This is not what it looks like. Now, hold on.
Hold on. Don't...
don't... don't go down there.
Don't... there's nothing down...
that's not... I didn't do nothing.
I didn't... I just got
home. I just got home and...
there's nothing down th...
that's not... I didn't do nothing.
I didn't do nothing! I didn't do nothing!
I just came home. I just came home.
This is Chief Thurman. I'm
at 613 Willow Creek Drive.
Requesting backup, 613 Willow Creek...
[gunshots]
[Vern gurgling]
(Molly) Chief.
Chief?
Chief?
Any more?
[Vern gags, gasps]
Lester, are there any more cops?
[Gulps] Mm-mm.
[Ragged breathing continues]
What did you tell him?
Nothing.
He asked about Sam.
You got any more shells for this thing?
No.
Is that the basement?
Mm.
[Descending footsteps]
[Mouthing] Ow, ow. Ow.
[Car approaching]
[Whispering] The police are here.
[Hoarse whispering] I
said the police are here!
What do we d... do...
[panting]
Officer down.
613 Willow Creek Ddrive.
(Woman) Roger that. Confirming code 3.
(Molly) Bemidji police!
(Dispatcher) All units, officer
in need of immediate assistance
at 613 Willow Creek Drive.
[Breathing hard]
Bemidji police!
If there's someone in the house,
come out with your hands up.
[Panting]
Okay.
- (Bill) Molly!
- [Whispers] Oh, God.
Down here!
Husband's alive.
Oh. [Gags]
Aw, jeez!
[police radio chatter]
[Melancholy orchestration]
(Girl) Dad. Come in, dad. Over.
Yeah, dad here. Come back.
My team's up by 13. Over.
What happened? Over.
Kicked in another field goal. Over.
Sweet. You brush your teeth? Over.
Yeah. Over.
Homework? Over.
Uh, did my math and science.
I still have to do English.
Over.
Okay, well, as soon as the game's over.
Over.
[Tires screeching]
[Siren whoops]
[Siren whoops]
Evening, Officer.
Evening.
License and registration, please.
We could do it that way.
You ask me for my papers.
I tell you it's not my
car, that I borrowed it...
see where things go from there.
We could do that.
Or you could go get in
your car and drive away.
[Chuckles]
Now, why would I do that?
Because some roads you shouldn't go down.
Because maps used to say,
"there be dragons here."
Now they don't.
But that don't mean the
dragons aren't there.
Dad. Come in, dad. Over.
You step out of the car, please, sir.
How old's your kid?
I said step out of the car.
Dad, come in. Dad, over.
Let me tell you what's gonna happen...
Officer Grimly.
I'm going to roll my window up,
then I'm going to drive away,
and you're gonna go home to your daughter,
and every few years, you're
gonna look at her face
and know that you're
alive because you chose
not to go down a certain
road on a certain night,
that you chose to walk into the light
instead of into the darkness.
[Ominous music]
Do you understand me?
Sir...
I'm rolling up my window.
Dad. Come in, dad.
Over.
Dad? Are you there?
Over.
[Loud rhythmic thumping]
[Thumping sound dies away]
(Lou) So I got two kinds of
sandwiches... tuna and turkey.
Tuna's for the fish.
Unless you think they'd
think that's cannibalism.
You know... I been looking for
more help in the restaurant.
You know, someone to seat
customers and answer the phone.
- A hostess.
- That what they call it?
Yah. Huh.
Anyway...
not sure if that's something
you might be interested in.
I'm a police officer, dad.
Well, sure, I know that.
I also know that people in this world
are less inclined to shoot a hostess
than, say, an officer of the law.
- That's true.
- So...
That mean you're gonna
help your old man out?
Nope. [Chuckles]
But maybe you could put that in the ad.
Listen, on second thought,
I think I'm gonna head into work.
Rain check on the fishing?
Sounds good.
Love you, dad.
Love you too, hon.
[Melancholy string music]
[Orchestration swells]
---
[Melancholy string music]
_
_
_
_
[Orchestration swells]
(Man on radio) They won't.
She won't stop, you know?
Day after...
I was a maker.
I hope they do it tonight...
When she's sleeping.
- But I'm scared...
- [Click]
[Thudding]
[Muffled shouting]
[Muffled shouting, thudding]
[Panting]
[Coughs, grunts]
[Deer wheezing]
[Rhythmic thumping]
[Gurgling, thumping]
[Woman speaking indistinctly]
She said that I gotta make a meat loaf.
I said we'd bring Jell-O
salad, but Kitty said meat loaf.
So...
Hon.
- So what's that, hon?
- [Scoffs]
I said it's Gordo's birthday tonight.
We're supposed to be at
your brother's at 4:00,
with meat loaf.
[Washing machine continues thumping]
Sounds, uh, different today...
don't ya think?
Like, angry?
I'm washing towels. It's a towel sound.
Huh.
Kitty said they just got
one of those fancy
European all-in-ones.
Says it washes and dries. One machine.
Can you believe that?
Bet that set them back a penny.
[Laughs] He can afford it, your brother.
Kitty said he just got a big promotion
after only working there a year.
Kitty said they also got
one of those fancy new
surround sound systems.
Guess I married the wrong Nygaard.
Oh! Heh heh heh.
That's what I said. We had a good laugh.
Well, it's just slow now at the shop.
Oh, hon. That's what ya always say...
"slow."
[Washing machine quiets down]
Well...
better get back to it.
You make your own wins.
That's what Kitty said Chaz told her.
Salesmen make their own wins.
You gotta try harder, hon.
Smile, for Pete's sake.
Maybe wear a nicer tie.
You gave me this tie.
Well, if you were a better salesman,
I'd have bought you a nicer tie.
At least take a look.
I keep thinking maybe it's the settings.
Kitty says Chaz fixes things
around the house all the time.
Says he took the toaster
apart over the weekend.
Now it's good as new.
Browns to beat the band.
[Machine gurgling, thumping]
(Lester) So that's, uh...
like I said, there's two kinds of policies
you should be thinking about.
You got your whole life and...
your whole life plus, which covers
the same benefits of whole life
plus... a heck of a lot more.
Well, we just came in to get
Charline on my health care.
On account of I'm having a baby.
Yeah. A boy, we're hoping.
Or a little girl.
I'd just about hug the
pants off a little girl.
Oh, yeah? Well, uh...
Even more... [Stammers]
All... all the more reason to, uh...
because what happens... what happens
if you have an accident at your job?
- I work at the library.
- Okay.
What happens if you have a car crash
and go out the windshield?
O... or say you're up a ladder,
cleaning out the gutters,
and you fall off the darn
thing and break your neck?
These things happen every day.
And people fall asleep smoking in bed.
They burn to death.
What I'm saying is the
morgue is... is full of guys
thought they didn't need life insurance.
For... for peace of mind, I'm saying,
to know that your little boy... or girl.
Right. Or little girl is taken care of.
We're supposed to be at my mom's by 4:00.
Yeah. So we're gonna...
Oh! O... okay.
Well, at least let me give you a brochure.
Or... or I got these pens.
I got these nif-nifty
pens. Look at that, huh?
[Clicking pen] With most of the colors...
Okay, well, if you
change your mind then, uh,
give me a...
[Pen clatters]
[Quietly] Aw, heck.
[Car horn honks, dog barks]
Will ya look at that?
- What is it, dad?
- Yeah, dad.
- What is it?
- Oh, h... hey, Sam.
That, there, boys... is a black man.
He don't look black, dad.
Yeah, dad, he don't look black.
- More like a big pumpkin.
- Ha ha. Yeah!
Yeah, like a big, stupid pumpkin.
Lester... Niggered.
Now, come on, Sam, it... it's Nygaard,
just like in high school.
You went to high school
with a black man, dad?
- Yeah, dad, did you?
- Shut up.
How you been, Lester?
- Oh, yeah, real good.
- Yeah?
Yeah. Me too.
Yeah, trucking company's doing super.
Got rigs all over the Great Lakes.
Just bought a summer house up Bear island.
It's pretty sweet.
[Chuckling]
Hey, you remember the story I told you
of the boy I put in the oil drum
and rolled onto the highway?
- Is that him, dad?
- Yeah, dad, is that him?
[Laughs] Oh, you betcha.
[Whispers] Betcha.
[Laughing]
Good old Lester pencil dick.
- Oh... Ahem.
- Hey, say, Lester,
what was the name of that girl
you went with in high school?
You know, uh... the curvy one.
- It's Pearl, yeah.
- [Whispers] Yeah.
Pearl... what a rack on that girl, huh?
Dad's saying she had big titties.
Yeah, I know what "rack"
means, you fairy...
- Ow.
- Yeah, dad, ow!
You know, she gave me a tug once.
Homecoming senior year,
with the nice, fat hands.
Real soft.
We're married now. Going on 18 years.
[Laughs] Oh, dad, that's embarrassing.
Yeah, dad, super embarrassing.
18 years, huh?
Yeah. That's something.
Never knew what she saw in you, really.
[Chuckles] Oh, well, I...
No, I mean... help me out.
Is it your stupid pencil dick
or your little rat face?
Yeah, well, uh...
I should get back to it.
Oh, come on.
Did I ever tell ya how I used
to beat this little guy up
in high school?
And write my name on my fist
in sharpie 'fore I'd punch him,
so everyone else would know who did it.
- That's a good one, dad.
- Yeah, dad, real good one.
Remember?
[Ominous music]
♪
Yeah, I... it's a long time ago, but...
[laughter]
[Laughs]
Oh, what a day.
[Indistinct announcement over P.A.]
[Groans]
Excuse me... Miss?
Do you think, uh... will it be much longer?
This thing hurts like the dickens.
- We'll call your name.
- Yeah, but I've been here
- an hour already.
- We'll call your name.
[Groans]
- Could I have a sip?
- Hmm?
Oh.
Heck, take the whole can.
Can't drink the darn thing without a straw.
Ahh.
Whew.
[P.A. chimes] ICU resident on call,
please contact... [continues indistinctly]
- [Sighs]
- Obliged.
Mm.
What happened to your nose?
Oh, it was, uh...
[Grunts] It was just a...
misunderstanding.
Now, was this you
misunderstanding the other fella,
or him misunderstanding you?
Pardon?
Who misunderstood whom?
Oh, no, what I'm saying...
It's, uh...
it's not good to dwell on these things.
Why?
Pardon?
Why is it not good to
dwell on these things?
Especially things that
put you in the hospital.
[Beep, indistinct announcement over P.A.]
Uh...
Well, I was... ahem... I was outnumbered,
if you wanna know the truth.
Three to one.
I mean, big... big guys
too... well, one of them.
Other two were just kids,
but big for their age, you know?
If I was any kind of man,
I'd have shown that Sam what's what.
Sam?
[Whispers] Hess.
The bully in high school,
and he's a bully now.
So why didn't ya?
Show him what's what?
Well, his...
he had his sons with him and...
You let a man beat you
in front of his children
- to send them a message?
- No, that's not...
Heck.
Just...
heck.
In my experience,
if you let a man break your nose,
the next time, he tries
to break your spine.
Sam... no way. Mm-mm.
I mean, I don't think...
It just, uh... I guess I, uh,
embarrassed him in front of his boys.
- You embarrassed him?
- Yeah. By, uh...
He was telling me about a
time where he and my wife,
they were, uh... hmm.
But he didn't know she
was my wife is the thing,
and when I told him...
- wha...
- This man has slept with your wife,
and you're worried about embarrassing him.
Uh-uh. Not slept. No, they didn't, uh...
He said it was just...
she has soft hands,
see, and, uh, I guess...
No, mister, we're not friends.
I mean, maybe we will be someday.
But I gotta say,
if that were me in your position...
I would have killed that man.
Well, now...
Come on. [Chuckles]
[Quietly] You said he bullied
you in high school, right?
Four years.
[Sighs]
Gave me an ulcer.
You know what, one time,
he put me in an oil barrel
and rolled me in the road.
Seriously?
And now he tells you that...
he had relations with your wife.
He bullies you again in
front of his children.
This is a man who doesn't
deserve to draw breath.
Yeah, okay, but, uh...
- Here's the thing.
- No. That is the thing.
Well, heck!
I mean, o... okay.
Okay. But...
What am I supposed to do?
Heck, you're so sure about it,
maybe you should just kill him for me.
You're asking me to kill this man.
No, that was... I was joking.
Mr. Nygaard?
Uh, y... yeah, that's
me. Ju... o... one second.
We... we... we... we're just
two fellas talking, right?
We're just... blowing off steam.
- Sir, it's real busy.
- Like I said, one second.
Sam Hess.
No, just... just one second. That is not...
Sir!
Just one word. Yes or no.
Sir, I'm going to give your spot...
Yeah! Aah! Yeah, I'm coming, for...
Pete's sake.
[Police radio chatter]
Cold enough for ya, Chief?
Supposed to get down to -10 later.
Yeah. Heard that.
Don't much like the sound of negative.
Thought I'd strip down to my shorts,
work on my tan.
So what's this here then?
Chief, I arrived on
the scene at 1300 hours.
Found this '93 New Yorker.
Looks like she fled the
road and crashed the fence.
I found a set of footprints
leading away from the car.
Thought possibly our
driver injured, you know,
got confused, wandered into the woods.
I was just about to investigate.
There's blood here. Hair too.
Yeah. Saw that.
I was thinking maybe a deer, but, uh,
couldn't find the evidence, so...
Here it is.
Son of a gun.
Blood on the steering wheel.
Driver could have hit his head.
Or her head.
You check the trunk?
No, sir.
Huh.
So you wanna take a look
at those footprints then?
Sounds good.
How's Ida?
Any day now.
You got a name picked out?
[Chuckles] Can't get that woman
to decide what color to paint the nursery.
Can't believe I missed
that deer in the trunk.
Don't take it hard. Been
doing this a long time.
Never checked for a deer in the trunk.
Or any wildlife.
Chief.
[Patsy Cline's "Sweet
Dreams (Of you)" plays)
♪
♪ Sweet ♪
- * dreams... *
- Hi, hon.
(Woman) In the kitchen.
♪ Every night ♪
♪ I go through ♪
Something smells good.
Your boy wanted a hamburger.
Sounds like my boy. [Chuckles]
♪ And start my life anew ♪
♪ Instead of having ♪
♪ Sweet dreams of you ♪
♪
Molly found a wreck out on 71.
How's she doing?
- Molly?
- Mm.
- Yeah, good.
- I always liked her.
Yeah, she's a peach. Anyhoo,
looks like the driver
tried to head out on foot.
He got lost and froze
to death in the woods.
- Oh, my.
- Yah.
Funny thing is, the fellow
was just wearing underpants.
- That so?
- Yah.
- No I.D., nothing.
- Hmm.
Couldn't find his clothes anywhere.
Maybe he ate 'em.
Hmm.
I was thinking maybe blue.
- For the nursery.
- Oh, yeah?
Mm. Earlier I was thinking maybe blue.
- Then I changed my mind.
- Blue's nice.
Maybe green.
Well, I'm ready to get painting.
Soon as you decide.
You're a good man, Vern Thurman.
My sister was crazy
telling me not to marry you.
Your sister is crazy.
Mm.
[Hydraulics hissing]
[Plastic creaking]
- [Pop, air squeaking]
- Ha ha.
Dad said we could take turns.
Yeah? Dad said that he also thinks
you've got a potato brain, so...
Hey...
Shut up!
You're doing it wrong.
You need to press your forearm
into the back of his neck,
grab your elbow with the other hand
to choke him right out.
W... what you want, mister?
Yeah, mister. What do you want?
Sign outside says Hess & Sons.
- Which one's the older boy?
- Me.
I'm Mickey.
You know, so... that leaves
me in charge when dad is gone.
Are not! Mom said...
Mom has nothing to do with it, sister!
Hey!
Help you with something?
Sam Hess?
Who wants to know?
Me.
Only two reasons to
come to my shop, friend.
Either you need a truck
or you drive a truck, huh?
You a truck driver?
I was just talking to your boys.
I think the younger one's a little dim.
What did you say?
His IQ seems low, I'm saying.
Have you had him tested?
Hit him, dad!
Yeah, dad, hit him!
[Clears throat]
I'm gonna restrain myself...
you know, on account of you
got an obvious head injury,
and not beat you to death with a tire iron.
But I'm gonna ask you again...
what the heck do you want?
I just wanted to have a look at ya.
Okay. That'll do it.
(Pearl) How does a grown
man fall over his own feet?
(Lester) It was ice. I slipped on ice.
- We should have canceled.
- Oh, don't be a baby.
[Doorbell rings]
Hi! Hey, we're here.
[Pearl giggling]
[Doorbell rings]
- We're here.
- Hi!
Come on in. Chaz is working the ham.
Oh.
Took the whole team down to Duluth Tuesday.
Big spread at the Marriott.
Oh, I always wanted to stay there.
Yeah, it's real sweet... king-size bed,
view of the lake... you name it.
- Boss took me out for dinner.
- Just the two of 'em.
Steak big as a catcher's mitt.
Said, "Chaz, you're going
places in this world."
Gave him a raise and a corner office.
Yeah. Hear that, Lester?
A corner office.
- Yeah. Real good.
- And him, your younger brother.
- Yeah, I said I heard.
- Vice president, sales.
- Midwest region.
- Mm-hmm.
Bought the surround sound to celebrate.
I mean, it's pretty sweet, huh?
- [Tv in background]
- [Laughs] You're gonna have to marry that ham,
you get any more familiar with it.
Saw it on Rachael Ray.
She said that massaging
breaks the muscle down,
makes the meat juicier.
[Giggles] Lester never
wants to try new things.
Now, hold on. That's not true.
We make Gordo try stuff all the time.
Chaz says we have to open his horizons.
Broaden his horizons.
It's a big world, you know.
There is more to life than just Minnesota.
Took a real tumble, huh?
There's a... a spot over
by the fire station...
it's always icy.
Don't know what the heck I was thinking.
Lester.
[Sighs] Ohh! Come out to the garage.
Help me get some more beer.
Took Gordo to a specialist last month.
Think he might have the autism.
Hmm?
Won't stop drawing on
the walls, and Kitty...
she said she found a
Mason jar in his closet.
I guess that he pees in it at night.
[Tab pops]
Huh. What's that about?
Hey, wanna see something cool?
Sure.
[Whistles] Sweet!
Yeah, not those.
- Aw, jee... what is that?
- That there...
is your M249 SAW light machine gun,
sometimes referred to as "the piglet."
Are you allow... c...
can you even have that?
Is it legal? Technically, no way.
But I got a buddy works
supply over at Camp Ripley,
and, heck, I'm an American.
I pay my taxes.
- [Both laughing]
- You wanna take a look?
It's gas-operated, air-cooled.
Shoots 725 rounds per minute.
Oh!
Oh. Oh, jeez.
You should've told me it was so heavy.
- Is it okay?
- No, Lester!
It's not okay! You...
Here...
You broke the darn...
Why are you such a G-D screw-up?
Hey, now. Ever since you were...
And now Kitty... she said
she talked to Pearl last week,
and she's had it... your wife.
Said you been acting plain
weird... just moping around.
Said she caught you
standing in the bathroom
with your toothbrush in your
hand just looking in the mirror.
Said foam was coming out of
your mouth like a rabid dog.
Oh, come on! That's... not...
How I may or may not be feeling.
And for your information,
I hadn't had a lot of
sleep the night before,
so... so the toothpaste,
that was just nothing!
Did you really trip on the
ice and break your nose?
Yeah. Yes.
I... I told you, outside the fire station.
You know they run the
hoses and wash the trucks,
and it gets all slippery and wet.
Ohh, you know guys at work...
they talk about how they
look up to their brothers.
Their older brothers.
Sometimes I tell people you're dead.
I mean, heck, Lester, you're 40 years old.
When are you gonna get your act together?
(Pearl) Your own brother?
You didn't have to hit him.
I mean, seriously, what
is the matter with you?
Your own brother!
♪ I met my only one ♪
[overlapping chatter]
♪ While roamin' down ♪
Yes, one more.
Yes, one more time.
Before the 17th.
Do you need this to look like an accident?
Figure it out and call me back.
[Telephone rings]
- Realty.
- It's me.
St. Paul. Your call was expected yesterday.
I got delayed.
Problems?
Car troubles. Fixed now.
But you finished the assignment.
Of course.
And when can they expect you in Duluth?
The new client is anxious to begin.
Soon. I took a detour.
And the nature of this... detour?
It's personal.
Shouldn't be more than a day or two.
I'll let Duluth know.
All right.
[The Crystal Method's "Trip like I do" plays]
♪ Another world ♪
♪ Another time ♪
♪ In the age of wonder ♪
♪
[Conversing softly]
♪ Another time ♪
♪ This land was green and good ♪
♪ The crystal ♪
♪
- Okay.
- [Sam grunting]
Yah.
Oh, yah, big fella.
Uhh! Oh, yah.
Yah. Oh. That's good.
[Wet cough] [Gasps]
Oh!
Uh...
Aah!
[Telephone ringing]
Yeah? No.
[Beep]
Yep?
Aw, jeez, where?
Okay.
Pick me up, huh?
[Beep]
- Gotta go?
- Mm.
Homicide.
Molly's coming to get me.
Go back to sleep, hon.
- Love you.
- Love you too.
[Grunts]
- Thanks.
- Ida sleeping?
Yep.
[Police radio chatter]
What you want me to write
for "cause of death"?
Put "self-explanatory."
You okay there, Bill?
Oh, yeah. Threw up a bit ago.
- Not in here, I hope.
- Oh, no.
Went out to the parking lot. [Sighs]
Wife made spaghetti for dinner.
Seemed a shame to barf it up.
[Police radio chatter]
I'm okay now, so long as I don't look.
Aw, heck.
That's Sam Hess.
Hess that owns the trucking company?
Yeah, with the two boys
both dumb as a dog's foot.
Hold on. Isn't Hess tied
to that syndicate of fellas out of Fargo?
Gunrunners and such?
So they say. Never seen the proof.
Well, jeez, you... I mean,
you think this could be,
like, an organized crime thing?
You know, a hit or the like.
I don't know what I think yet,
except I was warm in bed half an hour ago.
How many times I gotta tell ya?
You can't just take the
sheets off of one bed
and stick 'em on another.
It's "unsanitory."
I shake 'em out first.
You don't have the sense
God gave a clam, do ya?
Go shovel the walk.
- I need a room.
- Just you?
- Pardon?
- Is it just for you, the room?
What difference does that make?
It's a different rate for two.
And if you got pets... dog,
cat... it's an extra 10 bucks.
What if I got a fish?
'Scuse me?
Would a fish cost me $10?
Or what if I kept spiders or mice?
What if I had bacteria?
Sir, bacteria are not pets.
- Could be.
- Sir, perhaps
you'd be happier in a different motel?
I just wanna know the policy.
You see, I'm a student of institutions.
Sir, do you have a pet or not?
[Laughs] Oh, no. It's just me.
Why do you let her talk to you like that?
Aw, she's not that bad.
Son, she compared you to a clam.
Well, what should I do?
A guy insulted me once.
I pissed in his gas tank.
Car never drove straight again.
[Line ringing]
(Woman) Leroy's Motor Inn.
Oh, yes, ma'am, I'm looking out my window,
and there's a young fellow
urinating in the gas tank
of a red Cavalier.
Son of a...
Hey! Hey!
You little...
[woman shrieks]
- Warm ya up, hon?
- Yeah, thanks, dad.
Whatcha looking at?
Murder file.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
Sam Hess got himself killed last night
over at the Lucky Penny.
You don't say.
Knife in the head.
You didn't hear that from me.
Hey, there, Molly, Lou.
- Coffee?
- Sure.
- Eggs over medium?
- Won't say no.
- How's the leg?
- Eh.
Goes from my ass to the
ground just like the other.
Thinking of doing some
ice fishing this weekend.
Sorry to hear it.
- Interested?
- No, sir.
The only thing I ever caught
fishing in winter was a cold.
Say, Chief, listen, I been thinking
about that fella in the
snow with the underpants?
- Mm-hmm?
- Something odd about that.
You're saying other than the fact
- that he was just wearing panties?
- Yeah.
See, we know from the wreck
that whoever was driving
cracked their head on
the steering wheel, right?
- But the fella in the snow...
- No head injury.
- Yeah. So you see...
- That's some good
- police work there, Deputy.
- Oh, thanks.
But if he's not the driver,
I guess we gotta ask...
Who is he?
Ran his prints. Nothing.
Plus, turns out the car was stolen.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, yeah, over in Grand Forks.
I called the local pd. I'm
just waiting on a callback.
Any thoughts there on Hess?
Uh, no, not as such.
The, um... lady that Hess was with?
Didn't get a good look
at the fella killed him
on account of all the
blood in her eyes, but, um,
you know, we're checking
the knife for prints.
Oh, also, Bill's going
around to local stores,
see if maybe the knife
was bought here in Bemidji.
You'll make a good chief one day.
Me?
What about Bill? He's got seniority.
Bill cleans his gun with bubble bath.
No, it'll be you.
If you want.
[Chuckles]
When you talk to the
police, just keep it simple.
"Thanks, but no thanks," in other words.
I've already talked to Fargo,
and they want to deal with this themselves.
They're sending guys.
Deal with what? He was in a whorehouse.
Glad he's dead.
Ma, don't talk like that.
Yeah, ma, don't talk like that.
Makes me live in the North Pole,
and then he's got the nerve to...
I'm not kidding.
I'm gonna sing at his funeral.
Mm-hmm.
♪ La la la la la-la-la-la-la-la ♪
[Sobbing]
[Telephone rings]
Mr. Mickey, you have a phone call.
She said me, you doofus.
- Can I come?
- No!
Jeez! Just stay here with ma.
- Hello?
- Mickey? Lewis Grossman.
Your dad's estate attorney.
First of all,
I'd like to say how
sorry I am for your loss.
Okay.
Next thing is
I'm responsible for overseeing
the dispersal of your dad's vast estate.
- You mean the money?
- Right.
Money, real estate, holdings,
automobiles and, uh...
Well, there's no delicate way to put this.
The will was very clear.
Your dad decided to give everything
to your younger brother Moe.
- Are you kidding?
- I know it's hard to hear.
But the will was very specific.
"I leave the entirety of my vast estate
to my second-born
and favorite son Moe."
That's sweet.
He must have really loved that boy.
Anyway, that's it.
Once again, I'm sorry for your loss.
If you have any questions,
please don't hesitate to call me.
(Vern) Well, like I said, Mrs. Hess,
we're checking some things on our end,
but if there's anything you could tell us
- about your husband's business...
- Appreciate the visit, Chief,
but Mrs. Hess had no kind of
involvement with Sam's business.
Frankly, she's mystified,
her husband being a pillar
of the community and all.
I mean, heck,
voted Bemidji businessman
of the year, 1996 and '98.
- Who was it?
- [Mouthing]
- (Vern) Yah.
- Like I said, it's a puzzler.
Course, we both know some of your boys
have had run-ins with
the law in the past...
stolen merchandise charges and the like.
And, you know, the staties had that case
as to maybe your outfit's got
ties to that crime syndicate
- out of Fargo.
- Whoa, wh...
You're gonna stand here...
let me get this straight.
You're gonna stand here and
call the victim a criminal
in front of his wife, his kids?
Well, no, no one's
calling anyone a criminal.
Just trying to figure out what happened.
Chief! 217! 217!
Uhh! Ugh!
[Laughing]
[Indistinct chatter on radio]
Don't need me to tell you
it was a cold one out there.
And as of right now,
nothing much has changed.
So let's take a look at where we are...
What the heck...
We got 5 degrees in Duluth...
[Bell jingles]
[Sighs]
- Hey, Lester.
- Oh, hiya, Bo.
Jeez, what happened to your face there?
You know that spot near the fire station?
- Where they wash the trucks?
- Yep. Slipped on the ice.
Oofta.
Say, Lester, I need you to
pull the file on Sam Hess.
On... who now?
Sam Hess, you know,
owns the truck depot over on winslow.
You know, big fella?
Yeah, well, he's dead.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, shame.
It's a big policy.
Murder, they're saying.
Stabbed to death is what I heard.
You okay there, Lester?
Sure. Uh...
Sure. Y... you know I went
to high school with him?
You don't say. Well, anyway,
I need you to pull the policy on that.
I have to get on the
phone with his wife later.
Uh...
Did you...
[Exhales] Jeez.
Did you really kill him? Sam?
Oh, my God.
Is Sam dead?
How do you feel about that?
Well, I mean...
of course, it's,
you know, a tragedy.
Well, why'd you kill him then?
Now hold on a second!
I never...
Well, actually, you did.
Remember, yes or no?
- I never said yes.
- Didn't say no.
No. That won't... come on.
That won't... in a court of law...
Who said anything about a court of law?
I just mea...
I... jeez.
And he had a wife, you
know, and those boys.
Lester, he put you in a barrel
and rolled you in the road.
Your problem is you spent your whole life
thinking there are rules.
There aren't.
We used to be gorillas.
All we had is what we
could take and defend.
The truth is, you're more of a man today
than you were yesterday.
How do you figure?
It's a red tide, Lester,
this life of ours.
The shit they make us eat...
day after day, the boss,
the wife, et cetera,
wearing us down.
If you don't stand up to it,
let 'em know you're still an ape
deep down where it counts,
you're just gonna get washed away.
Phone call, Chief.
It's the wife.
- Hey, hon.
- White.
- White what?
- I decided
we're gonna paint the nursery white.
- It's already white.
- Well...
I wanna paint it again.
The baby's room should have
a new coat, don't you think?
I do. Any particular shade?
- What do you mean?
- Well, you got
your bright white, your snow white...
Eggshell.
[Exhales]
Right. There's eggshell.
Oh. I hadn't thought of that.
I tell you what... why
don't I stop by the hardware
and pick up some different shades,
and we'll figure it out tonight?
We're having a baby, Vern.
That's true.
No. I mean it's finally sinking in.
We're gonna have a baby.
I can't wait.
I'll see you soon.
Is there anything else you need there?
Nope. I'm good.
(Molly) Come in, Chief.
This is Vern. Go ahead.
Chief, I'm over at the hospital.
I was checking on the Hess boy, and, uh...
- How is he?
- Oh, you know,
broken collar bone, got
his bell rung pretty good.
- That's a shame.
- Yeah.
Hey, so I got to talking to Sue Roundtree,
and I asked her if they had
any head injuries lately...
you know, my theory about
the driver and the wreck...
and she says they did, yesterday.
Real peculiar fella,
she says. Real intense.
And here's where it gets interesting.
'Cause she says the
fella with the head injury
was talking to another
fella about Sam Hess.
- Oh, yeah?
- Yes, sir.
Says the two was thick as thieves.
So suddenly I'm thinking,
maybe these two cases,
maybe they're connected, huh?
Could be.
She say who the other fellow was?
Uh, Lester Nygaard.
Really?
- Oh, you know him?
- Sure, I know Lester.
Sells insurance over at Bo's shop.
Yeah. Yeah, I called
over, and they're closed,
so I was gonna go by Lester's place.
No, I know Lester. I'll do it.
You call it a day. Good work.
[Door closes]
[Clatter in distance]
[Keys jingle]
- Lester?
- In the basement.
[Clattering continues]
[Ratcheting sound]
- Whatcha doing, hon?
- Oh.
I'm, uh, trying to fix the darn thing.
It looks like the motor mount broke.
You sure you know what you're doing?
Seems pretty straightforward.
So wanna give her a try?
- There's nothing in it.
- Oh.
For... for a test, I'm saying.
[Click]
[Motor hums]
[Thumping, metal squeaking]
Turn it off.
Turn it off!
[Noise dies away]
You killed it.
- You killed my washing machine.
- No, I was...
it was the...
the tide, you know?
I... I was, um, standing up to the...
I was...
I was being a man.
[Laughs]
But you're not a man, Lester.
You're not even half a man.
Honestly, I don't know what
got into me marrying you.
My mom said, "don't do it, Pearl."
She said, "he's the kind of
boy that loses all the time."
"And you know what those
boys grow up to be, don't ya?
Losers."
Take that back.
Or what?
What are you gonna do?
You can't even face me
when we're having sex.
Now, hold on! That is you not facing me!
That's so I can picture a real man.
Oh!
Hmm.
You take that back.
Or what? What are you gonna do?
Oh! [Laughs] You gonna hit me?
That's a lau...
[crack]
Oh.
[Ominous music]
♪
Aw, jeez.
Aw, jeez. Oh, jeez.
[Thud, thud] Oh, God, I'm sorry.
[whimpering]
Oh, God.
Oh, God.
[dramatic music]
♪
[line rings]
[Click] Uh, yeah, it's me.
You gotta help me out.
I've done something bad.
(Woman) Leroy's Motor Inn.
Oh! Hi. Can I have room 23, please?
[Line rings]
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Yeah, it... it's me. It's Lester.
Uh... she's, uh... my
wi... my wife, she's, uh...
Oh, hell. Um...
Look, I think I, uh...
she's in the basement dead,
and, uh, look, I'm freaking out here.
I don't know what to do.
Lester, have you been a bad boy?
Ha...
jeez.
Yeah. [Sobs]
The hammer and, uh... look...
can you come over? I'm
on Willow Creek Drive.
Number 613.
[Whispers] Please!
[Normal voice] Please?
Sure, Lester. I'll be right there.
Thank you! Thank you.
Here we go.
What did you do?
You killed her!
What did you do? [Breathing hard]
You killed her.
[Knock at door]
You killed her!
Hey, there, Lester.
- It'll get down to -10 tonight I hear.
- Ah.
- Is Pearl home?
- Uh, no, no.
- She's at my brother's.
- Okay, then.
How's the nose?
Ah, this, uh...
- It hurts.
- [Both chuckle]
How'd it happen anyway?
Slipped. Over by the fire station.
Ouch. You go to the hospital?
Mm-mm. Yeah. They set it.
You talk to anyone while you were there?
Uh... What do you mean?
Well, the reason I'm here...
I'm not sure you heard.
Sam Hess got killed last
night at the Lucky Penny.
- Oh... Yeah.
- Nasty business.
And, well, I heard you were
talking to another fella
about Hess before he died.
Over at the hospital.
No. I don't think so.
What was his name again? The other fella?
[Clock chiming "cuckoo"]
Ha ha!
You okay, Lester? You seem a bit...
seem a bit jumpy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's
just, you know, um...
Pearl is gonna be home soon,
and, um... [Clears throat]
Lester, listen to me very carefully.
I need you to get down on the ground.
Now, wait... wait just a second.
- Lester, on the ground.
- This is not what it looks like. Now, hold on.
Hold on. Don't...
don't... don't go down there.
Don't... there's nothing down...
that's not... I didn't do nothing.
I didn't... I just got
home. I just got home and...
there's nothing down th...
that's not... I didn't do nothing.
I didn't do nothing! I didn't do nothing!
I just came home. I just came home.
This is Chief Thurman. I'm
at 613 Willow Creek Drive.
Requesting backup, 613 Willow Creek...
[gunshots]
[Vern gurgling]
(Molly) Chief.
Chief?
Chief?
Any more?
[Vern gags, gasps]
Lester, are there any more cops?
[Gulps] Mm-mm.
[Ragged breathing continues]
What did you tell him?
Nothing.
He asked about Sam.
You got any more shells for this thing?
No.
Is that the basement?
Mm.
[Descending footsteps]
[Mouthing] Ow, ow. Ow.
[Car approaching]
[Whispering] The police are here.
[Hoarse whispering] I
said the police are here!
What do we d... do...
[panting]
Officer down.
613 Willow Creek Ddrive.
(Woman) Roger that. Confirming code 3.
(Molly) Bemidji police!
(Dispatcher) All units, officer
in need of immediate assistance
at 613 Willow Creek Drive.
[Breathing hard]
Bemidji police!
If there's someone in the house,
come out with your hands up.
[Panting]
Okay.
- (Bill) Molly!
- [Whispers] Oh, God.
Down here!
Husband's alive.
Oh. [Gags]
Aw, jeez!
[police radio chatter]
[Melancholy orchestration]
(Girl) Dad. Come in, dad. Over.
Yeah, dad here. Come back.
My team's up by 13. Over.
What happened? Over.
Kicked in another field goal. Over.
Sweet. You brush your teeth? Over.
Yeah. Over.
Homework? Over.
Uh, did my math and science.
I still have to do English.
Over.
Okay, well, as soon as the game's over.
Over.
[Tires screeching]
[Siren whoops]
[Siren whoops]
Evening, Officer.
Evening.
License and registration, please.
We could do it that way.
You ask me for my papers.
I tell you it's not my
car, that I borrowed it...
see where things go from there.
We could do that.
Or you could go get in
your car and drive away.
[Chuckles]
Now, why would I do that?
Because some roads you shouldn't go down.
Because maps used to say,
"there be dragons here."
Now they don't.
But that don't mean the
dragons aren't there.
Dad. Come in, dad. Over.
You step out of the car, please, sir.
How old's your kid?
I said step out of the car.
Dad, come in. Dad, over.
Let me tell you what's gonna happen...
Officer Grimly.
I'm going to roll my window up,
then I'm going to drive away,
and you're gonna go home to your daughter,
and every few years, you're
gonna look at her face
and know that you're
alive because you chose
not to go down a certain
road on a certain night,
that you chose to walk into the light
instead of into the darkness.
[Ominous music]
Do you understand me?
Sir...
I'm rolling up my window.
Dad. Come in, dad.
Over.
Dad? Are you there?
Over.
[Loud rhythmic thumping]
[Thumping sound dies away]
(Lou) So I got two kinds of
sandwiches... tuna and turkey.
Tuna's for the fish.
Unless you think they'd
think that's cannibalism.
You know... I been looking for
more help in the restaurant.
You know, someone to seat
customers and answer the phone.
- A hostess.
- That what they call it?
Yah. Huh.
Anyway...
not sure if that's something
you might be interested in.
I'm a police officer, dad.
Well, sure, I know that.
I also know that people in this world
are less inclined to shoot a hostess
than, say, an officer of the law.
- That's true.
- So...
That mean you're gonna
help your old man out?
Nope. [Chuckles]
But maybe you could put that in the ad.
Listen, on second thought,
I think I'm gonna head into work.
Rain check on the fishing?
Sounds good.
Love you, dad.
Love you too, hon.
[Melancholy string music]
[Orchestration swells]