Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 2, Episode 1 - Homecoming/The Sheikh - full transcript

THE PLANE! THE PLANE!

GOOD MORNING, TATTOO.

GOOD MORNING, BOSS.

OH, ISN'T IT A GLORIOUS MORNING.

AH, IF YOU SAY SO.

OH, STILL FEELING LOW, TATTOO?

OH, I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T
MEAN IT THAT WAY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BOSS.
I KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND SOMETHING.

WHY IS IT THAT WHEN
PEOPLE ARE SAD,

THEY SAY THEY ARE LOW?



AND WHEN THEY HAVE NO
MONEY, THEY SAY THEY ARE SHORT.

AH, MERELY FIGURES
OF SPEECH. THAT'S ALL.

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT.

THIS CAME FOR YOU YESTERDAY.

OH, IT MUST BE THE
NEW PACKAGE I SENT FOR

FOR MY COSTUME.

WELL, IT'S GOOD TO SEE A
SMILE ON YOUR FACE, MY FRIEND.

OH, BY THE WAY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO BE
AT THIS YEAR'S MASQUERADE?

OH, MY FAVORITE
HERO, ROBIN HOOD.

THAT'S A SPLENDID CHOICE.

YOU'LL MAKE A
WONDERFUL ROBIN HOOD.

WELL, I DON'T THINK THE
COSTUME COMPANY THINKS SO.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?



WELL, EITHER THEY
SEND THE WRONG SIZE,

OR THEY THINK I SHOULD BE THE...

JOLLY GREEN GIANT.

SMILES, EVERYONE. SMILES.

FOR THE PAST FEW YEARS,

MR. ED BREEN HAS BEEN
THE ONLY MALE TEACHER

AT A VERY EXCLUSIVE PRIVATE
SCHOOL FOR YOUNG WOMEN.

THE ONLY MAN IN AN ALL
PRIVATE GIRLS' SCHOOL?

WOW.

OH, ALL IS NOT AS
IT SEEMS, TATTOO.

MR. BREEN FEELS
HE SPENDS HIS LIFE

TRYING TO TEACH AND APPEASE

SOME VERY, VERY
SPOILED DEBUTANTES.

TO COUNTER THIS,

HE WISHES TO BE THE
MASTER OF WOMEN.

MANY WOMEN. HIS WOMEN.

IN SHORT, HIS FANTASY
IS TO BE A SHEIKH.

WITH HIS OWN HAREM.

BOSS, DO YOU THINK I
CAN GET SOME DAYS OFF?

MAYBE I CAN HELP MR. BREEN.

UH, I'LL WORK VERY HARD.

TATTOO, PLEASE.

TAKE A GOOD LOOK, TATTOO.

IT IS OFTEN YOU SEE SOMEONE
WHO HAS RETURNED FROM THE DEAD.

RETURNED FROM THE DEAD?

8 YEARS AGO, SERGEANT
ALAN BOARDMAN

WAS REPORTED KILLED
IN ACTION IN VIETNAM.

BACK HOME, A COFFIN WAS BURIED.

HIS WIDOW CRIED,

AND THE LOCAL CONGRESSMAN
PRESENTED HIS BABY SON

WITH THE DISTINGUISHED
SERVICE CROSS

HIS FATHER HAD EARNED.

IT WASN'T UNTIL RECENTLY

THAT THE MISTAKE WAS DISCOVERED.

THAT'S TERRIBLE.

BUT HOW COME IT TOOK SO
LONG TO FIND OUT WHO HE WAS?

HE WAS BADLY INJURED

WHEN HE BECAME
A PRISONER OF WAR.

HIS FACE AND BODY BURNED.

HE WAS IN A STATE OF SHOCK

AND IDENTIFICATION
WAS IMPOSSIBLE.

EVEN WHEN HE CAME OUT
OF IT, HIS MEMORY WAS GONE.

AFTER THE WAR,

A SERIES OF PLASTIC
SURGERY OPERATIONS

RESTORED HIM PHYSICALLY.

IT WAS ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO

THAT HIS MEMORY RETURNED.

AND HE REMEMBERED AFTER
8 LONG YEARS WHO HE WAS,

AND THE NAMES OF THE WIFE
AND CHILD HE LEFT BEHIND.

HIS WIFE AND HIS LITTLE BOY

MUST HAVE BEEN
VERY HAPPY TO SEE HIM.

UNFORTUNATELY NOT.

YOU SEE, TATTOO,
WHEN HE WENT HOME,

THEY HAD DISAPPEARED.

OH, HE SEARCHED FOR
MONTHS, BUT TO NO AVAIL.

THAT'S WHY HE'S COME HERE.

AND HIS FANTASY IS
TO FIND HIS FAMILY?

DO YOU KNOW WHERE
THEY ARE, BOSS?

DO YOU?

MY DEAR GUESTS,

I AM MR. ROARKE, YOUR HOST.

WELCOME TO FANTASY ISLAND.

YES?

MR. BOARDMAN IS HERE.

AH, YES, MR. BOARDMAN.
PLEASE COME IN. COME IN.

SIT DOWN, WON'T YOU?

I UH, REALLY DON'T FEEL
VERY MUCH LIKE SITTING DOWN.

MY WIFE, CHILD.

HAVE YOU FOUND THEM?
ARE THEY ALL RIGHT?

OH, YES, YES. I FOUND THEM.

AND I MUST SAY, THEY
BOTH SEEM FINE AND HAPPY.

THANK GOD.

I'VE BEEN SO UH,
SCARED, YOU KNOW,

THE LAST THREE MONTHS
LOOKING FOR THEM EVERYWHERE.

WHEN CAN I SEE THEM?

SOON, MR. BOARDMAN. SOON.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE BETTER

IF WE HAD A CHANCE
TO TALK FIRST.

TALK? ABOUT WHAT?

ABOUT YOUR WIFE AND YOUR SON.

AND THE SHOCK IT WILL BE TO THEM

TO FIND OUT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE.

YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T
TOLD THEM. WHY NOT?

I THOUGHT IT BEST

THAT THE DECISION OF IF
AND WHEN TO TELL THEM

SHOULD COME FROM YOU.

WHY NOT GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST.

WITH YOUR NEW FACE,

THERE SHOULD BE NO PROBLEM
OF THEM RECOGNIZING YOU.

SOMETHING'S WRONG.

WHAT AREN'T YOU TELLING ME?

THEY UM...

THEY LOVED YOU. REMEMBER THAT.

BUT PLEASE REMEMBER TOO THAT
THEY THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD.

THEY DIDN'T KNOW
THEY SHOULD WAIT.

YOUR WIFE REMARRIED 5 YEARS AGO.

NANCY HAS A HUSBAND,
MR. BOARDMAN.

JUST AS YOUR SON DANNY
ALREADY HAS A FATHER.

I SEE.

WE HAVE REACHED
THE FORBIDDEN AREA.

BEYOND LIES YOUR HAREM.

MY HAREM.

YOU KNOW, MR. ROARKE, I'VE
HEARD YOU WERE INCREDIBLE,

BUT HOW DID YOU PUT
THIS ALL TOGETHER?

ACTUALLY THE
PALACE AND THE HAREM

BELONG TO ONE OF
MY REGULAR GUESTS.

HIS IMPERIAL RADIANCE
THE SHEIKH OF KASHA.

HE'S GRACIOUSLY AGREED
TO LEND IT ALL TO YOU.

FOR THE WEEKEND.

A USED HAREM.

I WAS, I WAS
HOPING, I THOUGHT...

OH, MR. BREEN.

A HAREM SHOULD BE THOUGHT OF

AS A VERY SPECIAL UH, CAR LOT.

THERE ARE ALWAYS
SEVERAL BRAND NEW MODELS.

BUT THERE ARE ALSO MANY CLASSICS

WHICH SHOULD NOT BE IGNORED.

AS LONG AS THERE
AREN'T ANY LEMONS.

HI. I AM HABIB. SHEIKH OF KASHA.

MR. ROARKE TOLD ME
YOU WOULD BE HERE.

MY BLESSINGS UPON YOU

FOR BRINGING AN OLD
MAN WELCOME RELIEF

FROM ALL THESE DEVOTED,
FAWNING FEMALES.

OH, UH, GLAD TO HELP OUT.

HAKEEM IS OVERSEER OF THE HAREM.

NOW HE SHALL OBEY
YOUR SLIGHTEST WISH

AS HE HAS ALWAYS OBEYED MINE.

OH, WELL, IN THAT CASE,
WITH YOUR PERMISSION UM...

I'D UM, I'D LIKE
TO MEET MY UH...

OUR, I'D LIKE TO MEET THE HAREM.

I APPLAUD YOUR ENTHUSIASM.

MR. ROARKE TOLD ME
YOU WOULD BE STRONG

AND UH, WILLING.

A MOMENT, PLEASE.

MY DOCTOR HAS TOLD
ME TO ACQUIRE A HOBBY.

NOW, SAY CHEESE.

CHEESE.

CAPITAL. I SHOULD
HAVE A LOVELY TIME NOW.

A WHOLE WEEKEND
ALONE WITH MY CAMERA.

AND NO WOMEN.

WHAT A NICE MAN.

MM-MM. SENSATIONAL!

I THINK IT'S TIME TO MAKE
A FEW INTRODUCTIONS.

THIS WAY, RADIANCE.

RADIANCE.

PTATATEETAH, MASTER.

FIRST AMONG THOSE MOST FAVORED.

IGNORE HER, MASTER.

I CAN PLEASE YOU
MUCH, MUCH BETTER.

AHURA. FAVORITE OF THE
FIRST OF MOST FAVORITE.

FIRST FAVORITE. FAVORITE FIRST.

WELL, THAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN
WITH THE OLD SHEIKH, BUT UH,

WITH ME, YOU'RE GONNA
HAVE TO PROVE YOURSELVES

IF YOU WANT TO
KEEP YOUR STRIPES.

UH, YOU SUPPOSE YOU COULD
TEACH ME A FEW OF THOSE MOVES?

THOSE AND MANY MORE,
YOUR EXPLENDENCY.

I THINK I'VE DIED
AND GONE TO HEAVEN.

OOH!

MR. ROARKE.

THEY TOLD ME I'D FIND YOU HERE.

I UH, I THOUGHT IT OVER.

I'D LIKE TO MEET THEM.

I SEE.

AND UH, HOW WOULD YOU
LIKE TO BE INTRODUCED?

BY YOUR REAL NAME,

OR THE ONE THEY GAVE
YOU IN THE HOSPITAL?

PAUL ANDREWS.

I DON'T KNOW.

DOES THAT MAKE ANY SENSE?

IT'S JUST THAT I DREAMT ABOUT
MEETING THEM FOR 8 YEARS,

AND NOW I'M SUPPOSED TO
MAKE A DECISION LIKE THAT

ABOUT WHETHER I STILL
HAVE A PLACE IN THEIR LIFE.

YES. YES.

NANCY AND HER NEW
HUSBAND, FRANK HARDING,

HAVE COME TO FANTASY
ISLAND, THEY BELIEVE

AS FIRST-PRIZE WINNERS
OF A SUPERMARKET CONTEST.

HARDING?

THAT'S HER NAME NOW.

YES.

THEY BRING DANNY WITH THEM?

OF COURSE.

GOD, AM I SCARED.

YOU ARE A KIND AND
COMPASSIONATE MAN, MR. BOARDMAN.

I'M SURE YOU'LL MAKE
THE RIGHT DECISION.

MR. ROARKE? WHEN
WILL I MEET THEM?

CAN I HAVE IT BACK, MISTER?

SURE.

THANKS A LOT.

HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU TO BE
CAREFUL WITH THAT BALL, DANNY.

DANNY!

YOU'RE... DANNY?

SURE, WHY?

I'M SORRY.

HE'S USUALLY A VERY GOOD BOY.

SOMETIMES HE JUST GETS EXCITED.

YES. I'M SURE HE IS.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

NO. NO.

IT'S JUST THE NAME. DANNY.

AND YOUR FACE. IT'S SO FAMILIAR.

AS IF I'VE SEEN IT IN A
PHOTOGRAPH SOMEWHERE.

VIETNAM.

YOU WERE IN VIETNAM?

YES.

MY DAD WAS KILLED THERE.

IF YOU SAW A PICTURE OF ME,
YOU MUST HAVE MET MY HUSBAND.

BUT THAT'S TOO MUCH
OF A COINCIDENCE.

MY DAD WAS A SERGEANT.

A REAL HERO.

HE WON THE DISTINGUISHED
SERVICE CROSS.

WELL, THAT WAS A LONG TIME AGO.

BUT WE'RE STILL
VERY PROUD OF HIM.

HIS NAME WAS ALAN BOARDMAN.

DID YOU KNOW HIM?

YES. YES, I DID.

YOU DID?

THERE YOU ARE.

THIS IS MY HUSBAND.

THIS MAN KNEW ALAN IN VIETNAM.

ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

WELL, YES. IT CERTAINLY IS.

HI. I'M FRANK HARDING.

PAUL ANDREWS.

HOW ARE YOU? YOU
HERE WITH YOUR FAMILY?

NO. I'M ALONE.

WE WERE PLANNING A LITTLE
PICNIC THIS AFTERNOON.

MR. ROARKE TOLD US
ABOUT A NICE LITTLE SPOT

DOWN BY THE LAGOON.

YOU'RE CERTAINLY
WELCOME TO JOIN US.

WELL, I REALLY DON'T THINK...

WE'D LOVE TO HAVE YOU.

PLEASE?

YEAH. I'LL UH, I'LL DO MY BEST.

COME ON, DANNY. LET'S
GET SOME BREAKFAST.

OH, I JUST HAD THE
MOST INCREDIBLE DREAM.

OH! OH! OH...

IF I'M GONNA KEEP THAT UP,

I BETTER START
JOGGING, DOING PUSHUPS,

RUNNING SPRINTS, AND
OOH! SCRATCH MY BACK.

I WILL SCRATCH IT, MASTER.

I WILL DO IT!

YOUR NAILS ARE LIKE
THE CLAWS OF AN EAGLE.

YOU'LL HURT HIM.

I WOULD NEVER HARM
MY BELOVED MASTER,

SISTER TO A PIG.

ALL RIGHT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!

YOU SCRATCH THIS SIDE,
AND YOU SCRATCH THIS SIDE.

OH, YEAH. OOH...

THIS IS BETTER
THAN TEACHING LATIN

AT FOLLANSBEE ACADEMY
FOR GENTLE WOMEN.

I'M OUT OF POMEGRANATE JUICE.

NO, NO, NO, NO,
NO. YOU STAY HERE.

LET SOMEBODY ELSE MAKE POINTS.

UM, EXCUSE ME. YOU. OVER THERE.

WOO-HOO. MISS?

UH, I WOULD LIKE SOME
MORE JUICE AND SOME DATES.

I'M WAITING.

AH, OH, YES.

THAT'S BETTER.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

THAT INSOLENT WENCH.

HAKEEM!

UH, HAKEEM.

WHO WAS THAT DANCING GIRL
THAT JUST WENT PAST YOU?

YASMINE, SIRE. BUT SEEK HER NOT.

CONTENT YOURSELF
WITH THE MANY WOMEN

WHO ADORE THEIR MASTER.

I'M THE SHEIKH, RIGHT?

THEN DO MY BIDDING.

I WOULD LIKE TO
MEET MISS YASMINE.

RIGHT HERE IN MY VERY
PRIVATE CHAMBERS.

AS YOU WISH, MAGNIFICENCE.

WELL. LET'S SEE. WHERE WERE WE?

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE
OF HANKY AND PANKY.

HEAVY ON THE HANK,
AND LIGHT ON THE PANK.

OH.

YOU CATCHING ANYTHING?

NAH. OH, HI.

HI. MAYBE I CAN GIVE
YOU A HAND. DO YOU MIND?

SURE. COME ON.

HOW LONG YOU BEEN OUT?

FOR ABOUT AN HOUR.

YOU OK?

YEAH.

TELL ME ABOUT MY
DAD, MR. ANDREWS.

DID HE LIKE TO FISH?

ALMOST BETTER THAN ANYTHING.

AT LEAST, THAT'S
WHAT HE TOLD ME.

I MEAN, WE DIDN'T DO A
LOT OF FISHING IN 'NAM.

SOMETIMES I DREAM ABOUT HIM.

AND ME AND HIM WERE
PLAYING BASEBALL.

WE'RE JUST TALKING.

SURE WISH I COULD'VE
GONE FISHING WITH HIM.

WHAT DO YOU TALK
ABOUT? HEY, YOU GOT A BITE.

WHOA.

WHOA!

I STILL GOT HIM!

LOOK AT THAT, AND
A REALLY BIG ONE.

YOU DID, DIDN'T
YOU. LOOK AT THAT.

I GOTTA SHOW MOM.

I'D SAY THAT QUALIFIES
A FIRST CLASS,

HEAVY DUTY WHOPPER.

LOOK WHAT I GOT! MOM, DAD!

HEY, LOOK AT YOU.

I CAUGHT A FISH.

WELL, IF YOU'D BE A
LITTLE MORE CAREFUL, SON,

YOU'D SAVE YOUR
MOTHER A LOT OF WORK.

DANNY, WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I SLIPPED. BUT LOOK
WHAT I CAUGHT, MOM.

THAT'S A REAL
BEAUTY, SWEETHEART.

MR. ANDREWS HELPED ME.

OH, YOU ACCEPTED OUR INVITATION.

I HAD HOPED YOU WOULD.

UH, THANK YOU.

HE SAID DAD LIKED TO FISH, TOO.

ALMOST BETTER THAN ANYTHING.

THAT'S RIGHT, HE DID.

YOU MUST HAVE KNOWN ALAN WELL.

UH, COMBAT. YOU KNOW,
THINGS HAPPEN FAST.

A COUPLE MONTHS YOU FEEL
AS IF YOU'VE KNOWN SOMEONE

HIS WHOLE LIFE.

HI, TATTOO.

HI, DANNY. MR. HARDING?

THERE IS A TELEPHONE
CALL FOR YOU

FROM THE MAINLAND.

THEY SAY IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

THAT COULD BE THE CALL
WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR.

MAKE SURE TO SAVE A
HOT DOG FOR ME, HUH?

OK.

PLEASE SIT DOWN, MR. ANDREWS.

THANKS. OH, I LEFT THE
HORSE OVER BY THE STREAM.

I BETTER UH...

I CAN GET IT. PLEASE?

THINK YOU CAN HANDLE
IT, IT'S OK WITH ME

IF IT'S OK WITH YOUR MOM.

GO AHEAD.

YOU GONNA FEED THE
FISH TO THE HORSE?

HE SEEMS LIKE A GOOD BOY.

OH, HE HAS HIS MOMENTS.

I JUST HOPE HE DOESN'T PESTER
YOU TOO MUCH ABOUT ALAN.

NO. NO, I DON'T MIND.

YOU KNOW, DANNY
THINKS THAT HIS FATHER

IS JUST ABOUT THE GREATEST
MAN THAT EVER LIVED.

IS THAT A BAD THING?

WELL, SOMETIMES.

IT MAKES IT AWFULLY HARD
FOR A STEPFATHER TO COMPETE.

AND FRANK HAS WORKED VERY HARD

TO BUILD US A NEW LIFE.

PUT ALL THAT IN THE PAST, HUH?

I THOUGHT ABOUT THAT AFTER
WE MET YOU AT THE POOL.

I REMEMBER WHEN I FIRST HEARD

THAT ALAN HAD DIED.

I WANTED TO DIE, TOO.

IT'S FUNNY HOW
TIME HEALS WOUNDS.

ALAN AND I LOVED
EACH OTHER SO MUCH,

IT WAS ALMOST LIKE A FAIRYTALE.

AND NOW, IT'S 8 YEARS LATER.

AND IT'S ALMOST...

IT'S ALMOST LIKE IT WAS A
PART OF SOMEBODY ELSE'S LIFE.

OR A DREAM.

A DREAM.

HAVE YOU EVER FELT LIKE THAT?

UH, NO.

NEVER.

LADY YASMINE, AS YOU
ORDERED, SERENITY.

BRING THE WENCH IN.

SHE WILL NOT BRING
YOU PLEASURE, MASTER.

LET ME TAME HER FIRST.

NO, NO. YOU AND YOUR
HONCHOS OUT. OUT.

OUR.

I LOVE IT.

YOU KNOW, I ADMIRE YOUR SPIRIT.

BUT I'M TIRED OF WOMEN
WHO WON'T LISTEN TO ME.

SO IF YOU DON'T
GIVE ME A HARD TIME,

I WON'T GIVE YOU ONE.

TA-DA!

SURPRISE, SURPRISE, EDGAR BREEN.

BRENDA RAPPAPORT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

DEFENDING MY HONOR, YOU CREEP.

GET FRESH WITH ME,
AND I'LL CLOBBER YOU.

BRENDA! IT REALLY IS YOU.

IN THE FLESH IF YOU'LL
PARDON THE EXPRESSION.

EXCUSE ME FOR STUFFING MYSELF,

BUT THEY DON'T FEED YOU TOO
WELL WHEN YOU'RE A DANCING GIRL

WHO WON'T PLAY
FOOTSIES WITH THE SHEIKH.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
TEACHING PHYSICAL EDUCATION

AT FOLLANSBEE ACADEMY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HERE IN MY FANTASY?

YOUR FANTASY? HA!

I USED TO JOG PAST YOUR
LATIN CLASS 3 TIMES A DAY,

BUT YOU NEVER NOTICED ME.

I'M HERE BECAUSE MY FANTASY
WAS TO BE NOTICED BY YOU.

SO THAT RAT ROARKE FIXES IT

SO THAT I GET TRAPPED
IN A CRUMMY HAREM

WITH AN OLD SHEIKH
AND A BUNCH OF GUARDS

WHO ALWAYS WANT TO WHIP ME.

AND NOW YOU FINALLY SHOW UP,

BUT BY THIS TIME, WHO CARES?

PASS ME SOME KUMQUATS.

YEAH, YEAH.

NOTICE YOU? WHY
SHOULD I NOTICE YOU?

YOU WERE HARDLY NOTICEABLE

WITH THAT BIG BUN OF
HAIR, THICK GLASSES,

AND THE SWEAT SUITS
WITH THE BAGGY KNEES.

I, I DIDN'T, I DIDN'T KNOW.

YOU'RE VERY ATTRACTIVE.

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL.

IN FACT UM, YOU'RE GORGEOUS.

THERE WAS A TIME
I WOULD'VE KILLED

TO HEAR YOU SAY THAT.

MATTER OF FACT, IT'S WONDERFUL

TO HEAR YOU SAY IT NOW.

OH, SPEAKING OF KILLED.

EDDIE, I HATE TO SAY THIS,

BUT I THINK YOU'VE BEEN
SET UP FOR AN ASSASSINATION.

I'VE BEEN WHAT?

SET UP.

I HEARD HAKEEM
TALKING WITH THE GUARDS.

THE OLD SHEIKH KNEW
HE WAS A MARKED MAN,

SO HE WAS ARRANGING
A PLAN WHERE HE'D SPLIT

AND SET UP A STOOGE TO
GET KNOCKED OFF IN HIS PLACE.

WHAT MAKES YOU
THINK I'M THE STOOGE?

BECAUSE HE LENT YOU HIS HAREM.

WHEN THE ASSASSINS
SHOW UP AND FIND YOU HERE,

THEY'LL PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER

AND COME UP WITH HOMICIDE.

EDDIE, YOU'VE GOT TO
GET OUT FAST IF YOU CAN.

IF I CAN?

I AM THE SHEIKH.

THIS IS MY DOMAIN. I CAN
COME AND GO AS I PLEASE.

WOULD YOU UH, MOVE PLEASE?

I DON'T THINK HE
UNDERSTANDS ENGLISH.

IS THERE A WISH, DIVINITY?

UH, I'D LIKE TO TAKE A WALK.

I FEEL A BIT COOPED UP IN HERE.

THE HOUR IS MOST
INAUSPICIOUS, MASTER.

ENJOY THE PLEASURES
OF THY HAREM.

HUMBLE PERSONAGE.

IT'S TO THAT END THAT I LABOR
MOST UNWORTHILY IN THY SERVICE.

IT IS A SET UP.

YES?

I KNOW IT'S LATE.

I SAW THE LIGHT
BURNING, AND I...

WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME
ANYTIME, MR. BOARDMAN.

MAY I OFFER YOU A DRINK?

YES.

WHAT ARE YOU DRINKING?

UH, BOURBON. ICE.

YES.

WELL, I TAKE IT YOU'VE COME TO
SOME SORT OF A DECISION, HMM?

YES.

I WANT YOU TO ARRANGE
A MEETING FOR ME.

WITH MY WIFE AND SON.

IF I'M NOT MISTAKEN...

THAT'S WHAT I DID FOR
YOU THIS AFTERNOON.

YOU...

YES. WELL...

I WASN'T READY THEN.

I HAD A LOT OF THINKING TO DO.

BUT YOU ARE READY NOW.

YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT I AM.

I WANT MY FAMILY
BACK, MR. ROARKE.

AND I INTEND TO HAVE THEM.

I KNOW IT'S NOT
GOING TO BE EASY.

I MEAN, WHY SHOULD
NANCY SAY THAT IT'S WRONG

FOR THE BOY TO LOVE ME.

IT'S TOO MUCH COMPETITION
FOR THE STEP FATHER.

I KNOW THAT DANNY
LOVES ME. I'M SURE OF IT.

AND NANCY.

DOES, TOO.

BUT YOU KNOW THE PROBLEM.

THEY ARE LEGALLY MARRIED.

AND THE BOY WAS
OFFICIALLY ADOPTED...

LEGALLY MARRIED? HOW CAN
THEY BE LEGALLY MARRIED?

I'M HER HUSBAND!
I'M ALIVE IN HERE!

I APOLOGIZE.

I'M... FEELING VERY
SORRY FOR MYSELF.

I'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.

BUT I INTEND TO
GET MY FAMILY BACK.

AND I'LL FIGHT IT THROUGH
EVERY COURT IN THE LAND

IF I HAVE TO.

DO YOU REALLY THINK IT'S
A BATTLE THAT CAN BE WON

IN THE COURTS?

IF I HAVE TO.

I'VE DONE SOME CHECKING.
A COUPLE OF PHONE CALLS.

HARDING IS UP TO
HIS NECK IN DEBT.

AND I HAVE 8 YEARS...
BACK PAY TO SPEND.

AND I'LL SPEND
EVERY NICKEL OF IT

IF I HAVE TO ON LAWYERS.

I'LL ARRANGE A
MEETING IN THE MORNING.

AT THE HARDING BUNGALOW AT NOON.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. BOARDMAN.

WHO IS IT?

ED, I JUST HEARD HAKEEM
TALKING WITH SOME OF THE GUARDS.

YOUR KILLERS ARE EMISSARIES

FROM PRINCE
MUSTAFA OF THE SUDAN.

THEY PLAN TO USE DAGGERS.

AFTER DINNER TONIGHT.

D-DAGGERS?

OH, WAIT A MINUTE.
THEY WON'T HURT ME.

AFTER ALL, THIS IS NOT
THE FACE OF A SHEIKH.

YOU WANT TO BET? TAKE A LOOK.

RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PAGE.

OH...

THE FACE OF A SHEIKH.

THAT'S WHY THE SHEIKH
TOOK THAT PICTURE.

UNCOUNTED PARDONS

ILLUSTRIOUS PARAGON
OF EXCELLENCE.

I WOULD NOT HAVE INTRUDED

UNLESS IT WAS A MATTER
OF GREAT CONSEQUENCE.

YOUR GUESTS HAVE ARRIVED.

EMISSARIES FROM THE HONORABLE
MUSTAFA PRINCE OF THE SUDAN.

THEY BRING GIFTS AND GREETINGS
TO THE TRUE SHEIKH OF KASHA.

UM... TELL THEM I'M NOT HOME.

SUCH DISCOURTESIES WOULD
BE IMPOSSIBLE, RADIANCE.

I WILL INFORM THEM

THAT THOU ART RESTING
FROM THEY REVELS,

AND THAT YOU WILL
GREET THEM PROPERLY

THIS EVENING AT DINNER.

DINNER?

SOUNDS LIKE THE LAST SUPPER.

HELLO, TATTOO.

OH, HI, BOSS.

OH, ARE WE STILL FILLED
WITH OUR SELF PITY?

WELL, IT COMES AND
GOES, YOU KNOW.

IF YOU WERE MY SIZE,
YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND.

SIT DOWN FOR A MOMENT.

MY DEAR FRIEND,

DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT THE WORLD

IS FILLED WITH PEOPLE WHO
ARE TOO SHORT, OR TOO TALL?

OR THEIR EARS OR NOSE
OR THEIR EYES OR FEET

ARE TOO BIG OR TOO SMALL?

THAT'S THE MARVELOUS
THING ABOUT IT ALL.

THAT EVERY ONE OF US
IN HIS OWN SPECIAL WAY,

IS UNIQUE.

BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, BOSS.

NOBODY TAKES ME SERIOUSLY.

WHEN I WINK AT A GIRL,
THEY DON'T EVEN SMILE.

WHEN I BALANCE YOUR BOOK,
YOU DON'T EVEN PAY ATTENTION.

I'M SMALL, AND THE WORLD IS
BUILT FOR PEOPLE YOUR SIZE.

AND IF I COULD
CHANGE FOR ALL TIME,

THE WORLD, THIS
MOMENT, TO YOUR SIZE,

I WOULD, MY FRIEND.

THANK YOU, BOSS. BUT
IT WOULD NOT WORK.

YOU SEE, THEN MY BEST
FRIEND WOULD BE TOO BIG.

AND I WOULDN'T WANT
THAT TO HAPPEN TO YOU.

LET'S GET THIS OVER WITH.

I'M AFRAID THERE
IS A NEW PROBLEM

PERHAPS MORE
IMPORTANT THAN YOURS.

I HAVE JUST RECEIVED WORD
THAT YOUR SON HAS RUN AWAY.

DANNY? WHY?

WELL, I HOPE TO FIND
THAT OUT IN A MOMENT.

WHAT HAPPENED?

WE FOUND THIS NOTE
IN DANNY'S ROOM.

"I WON'T BE SENT AWAY."
WHAT'S ALL THIS ABOUT?

WE'RE TRYING TO SEND DANNY

TO A SPECIAL KIND
OF BOARDING SCHOOL.

BUT HE DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

BOARDING SCHOOL. I UNDERSTAND.

YOU WANTED HIM OUT OF
THE WAY. YOUR HUSBAND DID.

WAIT A MINUTE.

LOOK, YOUR FRIENDSHIP WITH M...

WITH DANNY'S FATHER
DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT

TO COME IN HERE AND JUDGE
US OR INTERFERE WITH OUR LIVES.

I'M NOT TOO SURE ABOUT
THAT. MAYBE IT DOES.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.

WHERE'S MR. HARDING NOW?

HE'S OUT LOOKING FOR DANNY.

I SEE. I'LL ORGANIZE A
SEARCH PARTY TO HELP HIM.

WE COULD USE YOUR HELP, TOO.

YES. I'D LIKE TO
SETTLE THIS FIRST.

WHY WAS DANNY BEING SENT AWAY?

LOOK, I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL.

WHY?

I THINK YOU SHOULD
TELL US, MRS. HARDING.

IT MIGHT MAKE IT EASIER
TO UH, HELP THE BOY.

DANNY HAS PROBLEMS WITH SCHOOL.

HE HAS SEVERE VISUAL DYSLEXIA.

A READING DISTURBANCE.

IT MAKES SCHOOLWORK
ALMOST IMPOSSIBLE.

WELL, FRANK FOUND
THIS BOARDING SCHOOL,

AND THEY SEEM TO HAVE
OVERCOME THE PROBLEM.

IT'S TOO FAR AWAY TO COMMUTE.

AND IT'S VERY EXPENSIVE.

FRANK HAS SPENT YEARS
BUILDING UP HIS BUSINESS,

AND NOW HE'S BORROWED
EVERY PENNY HE CAN ON IT

TO TRY AND GIVE DANNY
A CHANCE AT A FUTURE.

HE LOVES HIM THAT MUCH.

OF COURSE HE DOES.

AS MUCH AS ANY FATHER COULD.

WHEN YOU ADOPT SOMEONE,

YOU CHOOSE TO BE A FATHER.

YOU ACCEPT THE RESPONSIBILITIES.

NOW I THINK THAT'S AS BIG A STEP

AS BEING A NATURAL
FATHER IN MANY WAYS.

YES, HE LOVES DANNY.

EVERYTHING HE'S
DONE PROVES THAT.

BUT THE BOY LOVES
HIS REAL FATHER.

DANNY NEVER KNEW
HIS REAL FATHER.

ALAN WAS A WONDERFUL MAN.
AND 8 YEARS IS A LONG TIME.

IT'S HARD TO REMEMBER NOW.

AND DANNY IS IN
LOVE WITH THIS MEDAL.

AND EVERYTHING IT REPRESENTS.

I GUESS I CAN'T REALLY
BLAME HIM FOR THAT.

YOUR FIRST HUSBAND MUST
HAVE BEEN A VERY BRAVE MAN.

OH, HE WAS.

ALAN HAD A LOT OF FLAIR.
I WAS VERY PROUD OF HIM.

AND I KNOW THEY DON'T
GIVE THOSE THINGS AWAY

FOR PLAYING GAMES OVER THERE.

BUT I FEEL SO SORRY FOR FRANK.

HE JUST CAN'T WIN IN A FIGHT

AGAINST THE KIND OF IMAGE
THAT THAT MEDAL REPRESENTS.

NOT IN A BOY'S MIND.

PLEASE, MR. ROARKE.
FIND OUR SON.

BRING HIM HOME.

WE'RE A REAL FAMILY.

AND WE LOVE DANNY VERY MUCH.

WE WILL TRY, MRS. HARDING.

DID YOU HAVE
ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY?

NO. NO. EXCEPT UH...

I'M SORRY.

GOODBYE...

MRS. HARDING.

I'LL FIND DANNY.

I'M NOT SO SURE.

THE ISLAND JUNGLE IS
VERY THICK AND DANGEROUS.

YOU FORGET,
MR. ROARKE. I HAVE FLAIR.

THIS IS WHAT I DO WELL.

DANNY!

DANNY!

WELL. HI.

SO YOU FOUND ME.

YEAH. AND IT WASN'T EASY.

BUT I'M NOT GOING
BACK. NOT EVER.

YEAH, OK, LISTEN.

UH, YOU MIND IF I SIT
DOWN FOR A ONE ON ONE?

I'M REALLY TIRED. YOU
DON'T MIND, DO YOU?

THANKS.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

YOUR MOTHER'S REALLY
WORRIED ABOUT YOU, YOU KNOW?

SO IS YOUR DAD.

HE'S NOT MY DAD.

YEAH.

SHE TOLD ME ABOUT THE SCHOOL.
YOU DON'T WANT TO GO, HUH?

NO. I'M TIRED OF HEARING
ABOUT HOW BAD I DO IN SCHOOL.

AND ABOUT HOW MUCH MONEY
FRANK'S SPENDING ON ME.

AND ALL THAT STUFF.

GOD I WISH MY REAL DAD WAS HERE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I THINK IF YOUR
REAL DAD WERE HERE,

HE'D PROBABLY WANT
YOU TO GO TO THE SCHOOL.

HE WOULDN'T HAVE SENT ME AWAY.

THINGS WITH HIM
WOULD'VE BEEN FUN.

DAN, EVERYTHING CAN'T BE FUN.

AND YOU CAN'T HAVE
EVERYTHING THE WAY YOU WANT IT

ALL THE TIME.

LOOK, LET ME TELL
YOU ABOUT YOUR DAD.

WHAT HE WAS LIKE.

I MEAN, HE WAS
REALLY A GOOD GUY.

AND THERE WERE TIMES
LIKE IN WAR TIME, YOU KNOW,

WHEN YOU REALLY
NEED GUYS LIKE HIM.

BUT THERE ARE OTHER TIMES...

WHEN YOU REALLY
NEED GUYS LIKE FRANK.

LISTEN TO ME.

FRANK DOES WHAT
NEEDS TO BE DONE, TOO.

I MEAN...

MAYBE WHAT HE DOES ISN'T UH...

AS EXCITING AS WHAT
YOUR FATHER DID.

THEY DON'T GIVE
ANY MEDALS FOR IT.

BUT IN A WAY THAT
MAKES IT HARDER, TOO.

IT'S NOT THE SAME.

YES, IT IS.

IF MY DAD WAS HERE,

WOULD HE BE SAYING WHAT YOU ARE?

YEAH.

HE'D WANT TO DO WHAT WAS RIGHT.

ONCE HE UNDERSTOOD IT.

AND HE'D WANT YOU TO
DO WHAT WAS RIGHT, TOO.

HE'D WANT YOU TO DO YOUR BEST.

TO MAKE YOUR MOTHER...

AND YOUR FATHER HAPPY.

DANNY.

YOUR REAL DAD IS UH,
GONE NOW, YOU KNOW?

AND UH...

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT MAN, THAT,

THAT EVERYBODY ACCEPTS THAT.

AND THAT YOU GET STARTED
ON YOUR FUTURE, YOU KNOW?

MAKE HIM PROUD OF YOU.

YOU KNOW?

HUH?

YOU PROMISE HE'D
WANT IT THAT WAY?

YEAH, I PROMISE.

COME ON, SON.

LET'S GET YOU BACK
TO YOUR PARENTS.

I DEMAND TO SEE THE
SHEIKH OF KASHA AT ONCE.

WHO DARES DEMAND IN MY COURT?

I REIGN PARDONS ON YOU, MY LORD.

I DEMAND NOTHING
BUT YOUR COMPANY.

THEN BE CONTENT FOR I AM HERE.

WE WHO ARE ABOUT
TO DIE, SALUTE YOU.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT
YOUR LITTLE PLOT.

AND YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH IT.

BEFORE I FLATTENED THIS OUT,

IT WAS THE BED PAN OF
THE REAL SHEIKH OF KASHA.

THIS WAY.

FOLLOW ME. GIVE ME YOUR
HAND. GIVE ME YOUR HAND.

DON'T WORRY. DON'T WORRY.

OH!

OH... OH!

CAREFUL.

COME ON. ON THE TREE.

JUMP.

GET IN!

COME ON! QUICK!
QUICK! SLIDE OVER.

EVERYBODY ACCOUNTED FOR, BOSS.

GOODBYE, MR. ROARKE.

GOODBYE, MR. HARDING.

TATTOO.

OK, YOU'RE GOING TO
THE SCHOOL, RIGHT?

AND YOU'RE GONNA DO YOUR BEST?

YES, SIR.

OK.

YOU THINK MAYBE WE CAN
GO FISHING AGAIN SOMEDAY?

I WOULDN'T BET
AGAINST IT. GO ON.

BYE, DANNY.

BYE, SON.

GOODBYE, MISS
RAPPAPORT. MR. BREEN.

I THINK PERHAPS YOUR FANTASIES

WERE NOT NEARLY SO SATISFYING

AS YOUR REALITY
TOGETHER WILL BE.

THANKS FOR
EVERYTHING, MR. ROARKE.

PERHAPS I SHOULD SAY
GOODBYE TO THE HAREM MYSELF.

I WISH I COULD'VE SPENT
SOME TIME IN THAT HAREM.

BUT NOBODY WOULD BELIEVE ME.

AND I WISH YOU WOULD STOP

FEELING SORRY FOR
YOURSELF, TATTOO.

BOSS, WHAT IS IT?

IT'S FOR YOU FROM ALL
OF US ON FANTASY ISLAND.

YOU SEE, WE REALIZED
THAT SOMETIMES

THE ONES WE LOVE THE MOST

ARE THE FIRST ONES
WE TAKE FOR GRANTED.

IT'S A TOKEN OF APPRECIATION

AND RESPECT FOR YOU, MY FRIEND.

OPEN IT.

BOSS!

IT'S BEAUTIFUL!

THANK YOU, BOSS.

THANK YOU.

THANK EVERYBODY ON THE ISLAND.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME, MY FRIEND.

UM, WHY NOT TAKE
IT FOR A SPIN, HUH?

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

NO, NO, NO!