Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 1, Episode 8 - Treasure Hunt/Beauty Contest - full transcript

The plane! The plane!

Another day, another
dollar, hmm, boss?

Oh, must you always
be so mercenary, Tattoo?

I thought we decided to try to cultivate
our finer instincts today, didn't we?

- Yes, but I changed my mind.
- What?

Today I decide to
be selfish. Why?

- Look at this beautiful island.
- Yes.

All our beautiful people just
waiting for those strangers to arrive.

Waiting to serve them, to
make their dreams come true.

Well, why not, Tattoo? Why not?

After all, our guests pay
extremely well for that privilege.



Hmm. Some of them
pay a lot of money.

The others, you practically
give them their fantasies.

I give up. How can I
ever balance the books?

Tattoo... Tattoo, I told
you. I only cut our price...

when I find their fantasies either
particularly deserving or intriguing.

That's just what I mean, boss.
You give them their fantasies.

What about me? I have
some very intriguing fantasies.

- You, Tattoo?
- Do you wanna hear some?

Oh, of course.
You're making a joke.

Very amusing, Tattoo.

A joke? What do
you mean by "a joke"?

Well, everyone knows that
he who works in a candy store...

has no desire for sweets.

I suppose that's Hemingway.



No. That, Tattoo,
is Roarke. Move.

Smiles, everyone. Smiles.

Oh, come on, Tattoo.

Let's see some sunshine
on that cherubic face of yours.

Splendid.

Perhaps, just perhaps,
this may be the flight...

which brings one of
your fantasies to light.

- Really? Which one?
- In good time, Tattoo. In good time.

Miss Sally Quinn.

The name doesn't
connote wonders, does it?

I never heard of her.
Neither has anyone else.

Since the age of six, she's spent
her life removed from the real world...

in one strict boarding school
after another, courtesy of her father.

She's a very pretty girl to have been
locked away in school all those years.

Oh, she is that, and she comes
by her good looks naturally, Tattoo.

It was just 24 years ago this
month that Sally's late mother...

was crowned the most
beautiful woman in the world.

And now she wants us to try to help
her follow in her mother's footsteps.

In her mother's footsteps? How?

Patience, patience.

Are they together? They are indeed,
Tattoo. The men are business partners.

They own a small New
York advertising agency.

The first man, Mr. James
Defoe, is creative director.

The other man is
Stuart Chambers.

It is he who goes out
and gets the accounts.

"Hustling" is the expression,
I believe. And the lady?

Mrs. Chambers... Andrea.

Andrea? A very pretty
name for a very pretty lady.

But what fantasy could those three
share? A very common one, Tattoo.

A thirst for
adventure and money.

Money? On Fantasy Island?

Treasure, Tattoo.
Pirate treasure.

The lost treasure of Carvajal?

But, boss, it's too dangerous.

The last time, you say that no one
will be allowed to search for it again.

That was before these
three requested their fantasy.

What's so special about them? The
fact that one member of this happy trio...

plans to commit a murder
before the weekend is over.

My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.

Welcome to Fantasy Island.

You must be famished
after your trip, Miss Quinn.

I hope you find
something to your liking.

It all looks great. Thanks.
It's just that I'm, um...

A bit nervous?

Ah, rest assured there's
nothing to be concerned about.

The contest will begin
as planned. Oh, in fact,

the other contestants and the
news media from around the world...

have begun arriving
at the north end of the

island and will be
transported here presently.

You'll meet them all later at
an informal press conference...

I've arranged for you
and all the other girls.

You make it sound so easy.

On Fantasy Island
everything is easy, Miss Quinn,

if I wish it to be.

You better eat now. You'll need
your strength the next couple of days.

Thank you. You've made
me feel at home. I'm glad.

You know, boss, I like that girl
you were talking to. Mm-hmm.

She look nice. Oh, yes.

But how can we help her to
follow in her mother's footsteps?

Well... I know you're
going to hate this, Tattoo,

but tomorrow we begin staging the first
annual Miss Fantasy Island beauty pageant,

featuring 16 of the most
exquisitely beautiful girls in the world.

- You don't mean that, boss.
- Don't I?

But how can this
help Miss Quinn?

Simple. Sally is one of the
contestants, and in the end...

she will be crowned the most
beautiful of all: queen of Fantasy Island.

Don't you see? You
mean the contest is fixed?

I like the word "predetermined."

- Fixed.
- Well, it's her fantasy,
Tattoo.

Ah, cheer up. Cheer up. Maybe
you can console one of the losers.

Thank you.

I can't believe this. I
mean, three grown people...

out here on a... a desert island
looking for buried treasure.

You sound skeptical,
Mrs. Chambers.

The treasure does
exist, I assure you.

And worth millions too.

You'll have to forgive
my wife, Mr. Roarke.

She's not a
romantic. Right, Jim?

Oh, she's as romantic as any
woman is these days. Oh, thanks.

The, um, Carvajal map.

Study it carefully, will you?

The pirate Carvajal,
scourge of the Caribbean.

Scourge? Cutthroat, you mean.

He's literally correct. Ah, when
Carvajal buried his treasure,

he buried four of his most trusted men
along with it to guarantee their silence.

And don't forget
the curse, boss.

The curse? There's
a curse on it too? Oh.

Ah, not to be taken
lightly, Mrs. Chambers.

If the curse is to be believed,

the same... greed that drove
Carvajal to murder his own men...

will forever afterward plague
those who seek the prize.

You're serious
about this, aren't you?

Um, in your packs on the burro you will
find supplies sufficient for three days.

Good luck and, um,
good hunting. Excuse me.

All right. What do we got?

Well, the map says Devil's
Peak is that way. Well, let's do it.

Hold it, please.

Girls, together now. Come on,
big smiles. Come on. Get it together.

Over here. Nice smile.

One more. Look this way.

Good, good. Wonderful.

Very nice. All right. In the
back, let's see those teeth.

You see, Tattoo, life
does have its rewards.

I'm beginning to believe it.

Ah, Tattoo, why don't you mingle with our
lovely guests and make them feel welcome?

If you say so, boss.

I want a good shot
there. Yeah, that's great.

How do you like your
fantasy so far, Miss Quinn?

Oh, it's exciting and a little
frightening. Frightening? Why?

They're all beautiful.

Yes, exquisite.

And each one thinks
she has a chance.

Ah, tomorrow the first round
of judging begins. Tomorrow?

And in the contest everything
will go just as you wish.

Well, you have fun. Excuse me.

Ladies and gentlemen,
for the next half hour...

our beautiful contestants will be available
for individual photographs or interviews.

After which will be a special...

Whoo. My feet are so sore.

Oh, but wasn't it exciting? All those
people and cameras and everything?

I can tell you we never had
anything like that in Ben Bolt, Texas.

I reckon that must sound
pretty "hicky" to you,

being educated in schools
all around the world.

No. Believe me, boarding schools
aren't all they're cracked up to be.

I was a little nervous myself.

Maybe, but you sure didn't look nervous
about whether you were gonna win or lose.

Elaine, have you ever been in
a beauty contest before? Sure.

Well, just hometown stuff. This is my
first big international beauty contest.

Mine too. If you don't mind me
being too personal, why did you enter?

This could mean a lot to me.

A down payment on
a place for my folks.

A chance to travel
and see things...

and never have
to work in a cheesy

five-and-dime or greasy
chili palace again...

and maybe even...

Listen to me.

Actin' like I'm the
only one around.

I guess it means
a lot to you too.

Yeah. It does.

Anybody here have some Vaseline?
I've got some photographers waiting.

- Here you go, honey.
- Oh, thanks.

Don't blind yourself.

Don't worry. I won't.

Who was that?

That was Shirl Dean, and
boy, does she spell trouble.

Trouble? Didn't you see her?

She's won so many contests
they call her Miss Everything.

Then why does she keep doing it?

Probably because she's afraid
there's nothin' else she can do.

Huh. Unless I miss my
guess, it's right up there.

Treasure's somewhere
on the other side in a cave.

Here, watch your step.

Give me your hand.

Whoo! We made it.

Only made part of it.

We got a long way
to go yet. Yeah.

Be careful, Andie.

Watch it!

Watch out! Help!

Hang on.

Come on, Stuart.

Pull. Here. Watch it.

Aaah.

You okay? Yeah.

How about you? All right.

Tattoo. Yes, boss?

When we resume our
game of Monopoly tonight,

after your first victory
in 2,736 games,

perhaps we should
use my dice, not yours.

What do you think?

Ah, sounds like a
wonderful idea, boss.

I'm glad you like it.

Mr. Quinn just arrived.

Sally's father. Just in time.

Show him in,
Tattoo. Show him in.

Ah, Mr. Quinn, I'm Mr. Roarke.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.

Ah, thank you. Thank you. I must say
your cable was rather cryptic, Mr. Roarke.

My daughter's here as
part of a group of 16 girls.

That's right. May I
offer you some scotch?

No, thank you. I'd
better see Sally first.

Well, it's, um, your brand.

And, um, I still haven't
answered your question.

I wasn't aware that
I asked you one.

Your daughter disappears from
a boarding school in Switzerland...

and a week later turns
up on a tropical island,

and you are not interested
in how or why she came here?

Not interested? I've been
out of my mind for a week,

ever since the school called me and
told me that Sally had disappeared.

I've had half the police forces
of the world looking for her.

Of course I wanna
know why she's here.

Well, then may I suggest, Mr. Quinn,
you finish your drink and follow me.

Well, the tension
is really mounting...

here on our first day of judging of the
Miss Fantasy Island beauty pageant.

We've already selected
three of our five finalists,

so we're coming now
to finalist number four.

And finalist number
four is... Elaine Benson.

She's our delightful Elaine
Benson, finalist number four.

Now we come
to the last finalist.

Of course, all of these girls are
beautiful... everything a girl should be.

But only one of
them... One girl more...

- will make the list as finalist...
- What is this?

For queen of Fantasy
Island competition tomorrow.

Which one is it going to be? I
tell you, the suspense is killing me.

I'm sure it's doing the same
to you. Here we go then.

Our last finalist then,
Miss Sally Quinn.

What's this? Some kind of joke?

Oh, I assure you, all the contestants
are quite serious, including your daughter.

I absolutely forbid it. She must
withdraw from the contest right now.

Well, I'm afraid the choice
is not yours, Mr. Quinn.

Sally came here and
entered this contest on

her own, and she is
of legal age, isn't she?

Sally. Sally?

I want a good shot
there. Yeah, that's great.

Oh, wonderful. Yeah.

Well, that's not half bad,
Andie. Not half bad at all.

Well, I'm just a wonder.

Of course, you did have my best
meal: canned beans and franks.

Well, you are a wonder.

Thanks. She's the
best. Isn't she, Jim?

Absolutely. Mm-hmm.
She's a good sport too.

Come here with a
couple of overage Boy

Scouts, chasin' after
lost pirate's treasure.

Now wait... Wait a second. Wait a second.
I didn't exactly volunteer, darling.

You did have to drag me here
kicking and screaming, remember?

Yeah, well, you won't be sorry when we find
the, um, jewels and the gold doubloons.

Oh, those gold doubloons.

Yeah. Five million, they say,
Carvajal buried. Five million.

But look it... Stu, you act as if nobody
has ever looked for this treasure before,

these so-called doubloons.

They failed. We won't.

Big-city girl here. She doesn't
believe in anything she can't see.

Hmph. You know, that's
your trouble, Andrea.

Your imagination doesn't extend
beyond Bloomingdale's next sale.

Ho-ho-ho.

Hey, um, remember last month when
I was stuck in Muncie for three days?

Mm-hmm. Ah, well, you
want some real excitement,

you try Muncie,
Indiana for three days.

I, um, missed my
pretty lady here so much,

I, um, called her at
3:00 in the mornin'.

No answer. You
want a real scare?

You, um... You try callin' home
at 3:00 a.m. from Muncie, Indiana.

Wife not answerin' the phone.

Stu, I told you. I unplugged the
phone. Now we've been over this before.

Look, I'm just tryin' to tell you,
sweetheart, how much I love you.

Well, I, um... I think
I'll go get some wood.

No, I'll go. It's my turn.

He doesn't believe
me about the phone.

Oh, no. That's foolish.

Do you believe me?

Of course I do, dummy.

Thanks. For what?

To your health.

Balloon! The balloon is here!

I hope Mr. Milbank is satisfied.

Ah, Mr. Roarke, I really did it.
You made my fantasy come true.

I really did go around
the world in 80 days.

It looks like you had fun.

I had a wonderful time, Tattoo.

There's so many things I want to
talk to you about. I'm so excited.

When can I take my next Jules
Verne adventure, Mr. Roarke?

Well, as soon as you and your assistant,
Sam, are rested and ready, Mr. Milbank.

Come along, Sam.

Let us not dillydally.
Go right ahead, Sam.

Yeah.

Sally?

I, um... I thought you'd be
coming through here again.

Hello, Daddy. I was hoping we
wouldn't have to meet quite yet.

That's quite obvious.

Now that we have, I want
you to end this foolishness.

I want you to go back to your
room and pack your things,

and I'll arrange for us to be
on the first flight out of here.

No. It's not your choice
whether I stay or leave anymore.

Isn't it? Whose choice is it?

Mine! You can't order
me around anymore!

I'm 19, grown-up.

You call this behavior grown-up?

No, it's not only
not grown-up, Sally.

It's vain and impetuous
and most of all

thoughtless to the people
who care about you.

Is that what you told
Mother all those years ago...

when you met her in the
beauty contest she had entered?

That's different. Is it?

Yeah. How?

I want you to get packed and
be ready to leave in an hour.

No.

What was that? I
don't think I heard you.

I said no. I'm not leaving
until this contest is over.

Sally, I'm your father.

Since when?

What was that?

I asked since when
have you been her father?

Oh, I know you've
spent money on Sally.

But can you remember the last
time you hugged her or kissed her?

This is none of your business,
Mr. Roarke. I'm afraid it is, Mr. Quinn.

It became so when I
promised Sally her fantasy.

I love my daughter.
You don't understand.

Oh, but I do understand. I
understand you very well, Mr. Quinn.

I also understand
your daughter...

A girl who saved her
allowances for who knows

how long just to
enter a beauty contest.

Well, then if you understand so
much, tell me, why did she do it?

Why, indeed. Has
it occurred to you...

that the only person you cared
for in your life was Sally's mother,

and she was a
beauty contest winner?

- Nonsense.
- Perhaps.

But to a child growing up, things
aren't always as they are to adults.

Are you saying she's
done this all for me?

Just so that I could
pay her some attention?

Your daughter's real fantasy was
to regain your love and affection.

Why don't you try to fulfill
that fantasy, Mr. Quinn?

Oh, um, the contestants
have the afternoon off.

I think you might find a walk along
the, um, lagoon rather pleasant.

Thank you, Mr. Roarke.
Thank you very much.

Oops. We're... I think we're
hung up on something. Yeah.

What?

Oh, wait. Let me just get one more
picture. Come on. Come on, now.

Wait a minute. Wait a
minute. Let me check it out.

Are you going
in? What is it now?

Oh, wait a second.

- Ah. Oh, boy. It's mud.
- Can I do something?

- No, that's
all right. Can you feel it?
- Yeah.

- Stuart, Jim. There's an alligator.
- Where?

- Right over there.
- I'm stuck!

Get the gun. It's loaded. It's already
cocked. Shoot. Just shoot at the alligator.

Hold on!

Ah! Help me. Help.

Get her in.

Come on. Help me, Jim.

Stu, hurry. There's an
alligator right out there.

Aaah. Oh.

Oh. The pack!

Thanks. Forget it.

Any time. Any time at all.

Hey, um, tell me, old chum,

dear friend,
business associate...

Just for, um, a
second or two when...

When it looked like I might
be that alligator's breakfast,

did the thought of sole ownership
of the agency enter your mind?

Ah, just for the
briefest moment...

did you think of maybe
lettin' my... hand slip away?

Oh, Stuart.

I'm gonna imagine that you're...
that you're makin' a joke, old buddy.

Besides, I need you, at
least until we find the treasure.

Yeah, but me outta the way,
it's not a bad idea, is it? Huh?

Is it, darling? Oh, Stuart.

Mr. Roarke asked me to see you.

I'm pleased you came.

I won't quit the contest.

You won't have to
now. Not anymore.

I think I know what
it means to you now.

It's just that it's a great
opportunity for me. I mean, if I won.

I know, Sally. I
think it's wonderful.

Sally, I'm not very good
at making apologies.

I guess... I'm not any
better expressing my love...

with those whom
I care most about.

But if I neglected to show
you my love, please forgive me.

Daddy.

If you want me to, I'll
withdraw from the contest.

Now that is the nicest thing
you could have said to me,

but I won't let you, now that
I know what it means to you.

Not only do I want you in that
contest, I want you to win it...

and win it big
for the both of us.

Oh, I've got such plans, Sally.

It'll be just like it
was with your mother.

Your picture all over the world.

You'll make me the proudest
father you've ever seen.

Wait. Stop, stop, stop.

Here. Let me take
that for a while.

I never said it was
gonna be easy, you know.

Hey, you guys, ah...

I'm sorry about what
happened back there on the raft.

I, um... I didn't mean it. I guess
I was a little scared, you know?

Well, come on. Let's move on.

- To where, Stu?
- Devil's Peak.

We're lost, Stu. We
don't even have a

compass. It went overboard
with your backpack.

What are we gonna do,
walk around in circles?

I agree with Jim. Why don't
we just go back? No way.

We've come this far.
We're goin' all the way.

Gonna go where all the way?

How do we find Devil's Peak?

Well, we're not gonna
find it standin' around here.

Come on.

Ah, Miss Quinn. Won't
you please come in?

To what do we owe this pleasure?
Please, won't you sit down?

I'd like to withdraw
from the contest.

Withdraw? Why?

I think you know why.

The fantasy's over.

You were right about my true motives
trying to get my father's attention.

Then your father has responded to
your fantasy. Oh, I'm so happy for you.

I don't think she's
so happy, boss.

My father has responded
with attention, Mr. Roarke,

only it's not as
easy as I thought.

I mean, I don't know
if he really loves me...

or if he just wants me to be
famous like my mother was.

He really loved her, you know?

And maybe he just
wants me to replace her.

Oh, that's a harsh judgment
to place on your father.

But he keeps
talking about Mother,

saying how this contest
will be just like it was then.

Like he's trying
to relive it all.

Quite a dilemma.

And, um, your solution
is to withdraw? Yes.

Do you realize just how much
you and your father are really alike?

What do you mean?

Well, you both have the same solution to
problems... to run and hide from the world.

I thought it was gonna be so easy...
the contest, my winning, my father.

My dear Miss Quinn,

life and human emotions
are rarely that simple.

You think I should
stay in the contest.

Oh, I think you
should face life...

and deal with this as it
comes as best you can.

The other girls...

This contest really means
so much to them too.

It's not fair that this
is fixed for me to win.

You have learned a
great deal this evening.

From now on, the Miss
Fantasy Island contest...

is no longer f...
Um, predetermined.

If you win it now, it will
be strictly on your own.

Just as my mother did.

If you win it, it will be
just as your mother did.

That's right.

Straight ahead. Be careful.

Watch where you put your
hands. Stay close to the wall.

I'm watching. I'm
watching. Easy now.

Careful. Don't look down.

I can't help it. That's it.

Careful.

Get a good handhold.

I got you.

- Relax. Take it easy.
- Oh, my God.

You got her?

Reach for a handhold.

Andrea, I told you.
You gotta hug the wall.

All right.

You okay?

That's it.

Oh.

They could have been killed.

Need I remind you, Tattoo, there
are no guarantees on Fantasy Island.

Our guests take their chances.

But, boss, that's not
good for business.

But at least they are
closer to the treasure now.

Yes, and now they approach
their greatest danger.

They must face their own greed.

Look at the size of that
cave. That's awesome.

This has gotta be it.

It looks... This is the place.

Incredible. Yeah.

Incredible. Don't you
go in there, Andrea.

Why?

Because I don't believe the treasure
is just sitting in there waiting for us.

So let Jim and I... go in
and check it out first, huh?

Oh, come on, you
guys. Be a good girl.

Well, you better come
back out after me. Whatever.

All right. Be careful.

Well, let's take a look here.

Yeah. Got a couple
of choices here.

It's that way or that way.

What do you think?
Let's try that way? Yeah.

Hey, Jim. Come
here. What do you got?

Look at this. I think we found
somethin'. It's a booby trap.

Huh. Come on. Just be careful.

Oh, boy. Look what
we found. Come on, Jim.

Pay dirt.

It's true. It's...
It's real. It...

We're rich, man.

It's like a dream come true.

Yeah. If we can only get it
back to... to civilization with it.

Ah. Come on. Let's
get this outta here.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay. You push, I'll pull.

Can you imagine the expression
on Andie's face when she sees this?

What did you stop for?

I know all about you and Andrea.

I've known about you
two for a long time.

Me and Andie? What the
hell are you talkin' about?

Nothing goin' on between me
and Andie. There never was.

You're a liar.

Now you got a wife that
loves you a lot, buddy boy,

and the sad thing is
you don't deserve it.

You're in my way.

Stu.

Stu?

For God's sake, Stuart. Help me.

This whole place is collapsing.

I take time to help
you, I'll lose the chest.

You're not gonna let me die.

Are you crazy? Help me.

Stuart! Jimmy! Where are you?

Wait.

Jimmy!

Over my shoulders. There you go.

Other one. Okay. Okay.

Stuart?

Stuart!

Stu, are you all...

Can't see. Move some of this.
Get out of there. Are you all right?

- Jimmy, are you all right?
- I'm all right.

I got you. I got you.

Are you gonna be all right?

Yeah. I think so.
Hey, um, sorry.

That's all right,
buddy. That's all right.

I'm sorry for everything.

Yeah.

Well, ladies and gentlemen.

Here it is, another
beautiful afternoon,

and here we are
at the final judging...

for the Miss Fantasy
Island beauty queen.

And we have five
lovely young ladies,

but only one of our finalists can be
picked to reign as queen of beauty.

Now take a good look
at them, everybody.

You think you can
choose which one it'll be?

How about our judges? I wonder
if they've been able to choose.

Have you, judges? Are you ready?

May I have the
envelopes, please?

Well, here they are.
The queen and her court.

And let me point out
that in her court here...

there will be three
runners-up and not four.

So our third runner-up is...

Mary Ann Davis.

Our second runner-up. A
lovely choice, Miss Nina Connors.

And now let's see what decision the
judges have made on our first runner-up.

Our first runner-up is...

Miss Shirl Dean.

Lovely young lady.

And now the moment
we've all been waiting for.

The big moment.

Who is going to be
Miss Fantasy Isle?

Who will be the queen of beauty?

Who will be the most
beautiful girl in the world?

Here it is.

Miss Elaine Benson.

Yes, Elaine Benson is our queen.

Put this here and crown you.

Now there you have it,
ladies and gentlemen.

I'm so sorry. I know
you must feel terrible.

About the contest? Not really.

Least not as much as you do.

All those pictures, the
publicity, your plans.

Maybe if you hurry you
can still sign up Elaine.

Is that all you think
I'm interested in?

I don't know.

I just know... I guess it was
crazy for me to even ever try.

I'll never be what Mother was.

I know that, sweetheart.
I know that now.

And I loved your
mother very much.

But she's gone.

I guess I was unable to
face that until coming here.

But I love you very
much... For yourself.

And if you give me a chance,

I'd like to spend a great part of
the rest of my life proving it to you.

She'll probably ask for her
money back. We failed, boss.

Did we?

Did we?

I wanna thank you for
everything. It was our pleasure.

Say, um... How much
was the treasure worth?

Does it matter, Mr. Chambers?

No. No, it doesn't. Not now.

Well, thank you. You're welcome.

Mr. Roarke.

Your share of the
Carvajal treasure.

Thank you. You're most welcome.

I don't get it, boss.
They end up with nothing.

On the contrary, Tattoo.

They end up with a great
deal. A very great deal.

Well, you and your father
seem happy now, Miss Quinn.

I almost made a
terrible mistake.

Not as bad a mistake
as I've been making.

Thank you. Thank you both
for the best fantasy of all...

Reality.

You know, boss, I like
stories with a happy ending.

It seems to me that
today on Fantasy Island...

more than one fantasy
has had a happy ending.

Thank God.

Indeed.