Fantasy Island (1977–1984): Season 1, Episode 15 - Fool for a Client/Double Your Pleasure - full transcript
A newly minted lawyer looking to try a criminal case winds up having to present his own defense when he's framed for murder; and an oil-pipeline laborer from Alaska wins a date with gorgeous identical twins, which turns out to be less than it was cracked up to be.
The plane! The plane!
Oh, Tattoo, I'm sorry.
That tooth is bothering
you again, huh?
Toothache? Uh, what would
give you that idea, boss?
What gave me that idea?
That was an ice bag you were
holding to your face, wasn't it?
- Ice bag?
- If it is that toothache again,
you promised to go
to the dentist this time.
- I know, but it
does not hurt at all.
- Indeed.
Then why are you smiling
with only half your face...
while the other half looks like
you've just been run over by a truck?
Boss, the Jeep is coming.
We don't want our guests
to be waiting, do we?
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
He look like a man who
just died and went to heaven.
Ah, yes. Mr. Larry Barbour.
And he is indeed
a very lucky man.
- He just won a raffle.
- A raffle?
Mm-hmm. A man after my own
heart. He must have a lot of money.
I'm afraid not, Tattoo.
You see, the prize he won in the
raffle was his trip to Fantasy Island.
- Who put up a prize like that?
- Mr. Barbour...
and the other 11
men in his crew,
who have spent the last
18 months of their lives...
isolated in the farthest
reaches of arctic Alaska...
working on the Alaska pipeline.
All 12 men chipped in for what
became their common fantasy.
Eighteen months
in Alaska? Mm-hmm.
I bet I know his fantasy. What?
He wants to pass the
weekend with a beautiful lady.
Only half right, Tattoo.
Mr. Larry Barbour,
as representative...
of the Alaska Pipeline
Crew Number 614,
wants to spend his
weekend with not just one,
but two of the most
beautiful girls in the world.
- Two women at once?
- Well, you should know.
The French have a name
for it... Ménage à trois.
- I have a name for it too.
- What?
Wow!
Mr. Herbert Costigan
makes his living...
doing law research
for trial lawyers.
His, uh, briefs, his prepared
questions for examination of witnesses...
are considered by many
to be positively brilliant.
If he's so good, how come
he's not practicing law himself?
Because, Tattoo, like too
many other people in this world,
Mr. Costigan lacks
self-confidence.
He's never been able to find the
courage to strike out on his own...
to find out what kind
of lawyer he could be.
And we are going to
help him to do that, boss?
Oh, we are indeed, Tattoo. We are
going to provide what he has asked...
The glamour and excitement
of a big courtroom trial...
A trial that will
involve life and death.
The question will be
whether it will be his.
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
Ah!
Eighteen months of
nothing but snow and ice.
I feel like I'm coming out
from under wraps, Mr. Roarke.
Now, where are
my fantasy fillies?
As a matter of fact, there is
one of the young ladies now.
Out of sight! Oh, yes! Yes!
And if number two looks anything
like this one, you've sure done your job.
When do I get started?
Uh, well, there is,
uh, one little tiny thing.
You see, it's in the character of
both girls to be the one and only.
I'm afraid if either were to find out you
were having a romance with the other,
the weekend would
be... a disaster.
- A disaster.
- Oh, but my fantasy...
was to have a romance with two of
the most beautiful girls in the world.
Oh, indeed, but it
was never stipulated...
that they be together, was it?
Look at it this way.
The danger of being
caught can be a lot of fun.
- Fun?
- Of course, if you want
to call it off...
Call it off? Oh, no, no, no.
I could never do that. The
guys are counting on me.
I...
Well, maybe this way
it will be more exciting.
When do I get to meet
number two? Oh, have faith.
Mr. Barbour, I promise you will
meet her before the day is over.
But I think perhaps you
should meet Dina first.
Um, and you can do that just as
soon as you're into proper uniform.
- Uniform?
- Indeed!
Now that's my kind of jog.
Good luck, Mr. Barbour!
Good luck.
This will be your home while
you're with us, Mr. Costigan.
And my client will
be coming here?
Oh, I can assure
you he will. Shall we?
Wow!
This is terrific!
Appropriate for one of the
country's greatest trial lawyers.
- What?
- You see, this side
of the island...
is a very plush
resort community.
Only the best people.
And they are all thrilled...
that the famous attorney, Herbert
Costigan, is going to be a neighbor.
- Me, famous?
- Oh, in a class
with F. Lee Bailey,
Jake Ehrlich and
all the top attorneys.
At least according to the
stories we have spread about you.
This is all terrific!
When do I see my client?
All in good time, Mr. Costigan.
Uh, but perhaps I
should warn you.
Once you commit yourself
to become involved in a case,
there is no turning back.
You will be Herbert Costigan,
famous criminal attorney from St.
Louis, and you will be on your own.
No one will be able to help
you. No one. Not even I.
- Do you understand?
- Yes! Yes! I'm ready.
Well, then, soon your very
important client will be here.
Oh, no!
Hey! Huh?
I was gonna let you catch up with
me at the mango tree around the bend.
- You were?
- Sure! I saw you following me.
I kept running 'cause I wanted
to see if you were sincere.
I'm having a very sincere
heart attack at the moment.
Men chase me a
lot when I'm jogging.
I rate them by how
long they keep it up.
A masher usually gives up
around a hundred yards or so.
A junior-grade sex
maniac, maybe half a mile.
But you... you stayed
with me for three miles!
Now, that's sincere! Dina McKay.
Hi. Larry Barbour.
It's a shame we couldn't
have met during my lifetime.
I like a man who isn't timid...
Who comes on full steam ahead...
Flowers, candy, holding
doors and like that.
I guess I'm just an
old-fashioned girl.
And I'm just an
old-fashioned dirty old man.
Hey, we're gonna have to know each
other a lot better before we get to that.
I love sunrise, sports, wheat
germ, riding and casual clothes.
- What do you love?
- Oh, all of the above.
Great! Then how about
a couple of sets of tennis?
My bungalow's just two
miles over the ridge. I'll race ya.
Whoa, uh, Dina!
Not... Not so fast. We...
Two miles!
Just a minute.
May I, uh, see that, sir?
Well, I, uh... I found it, uh,
in the water just over there.
I... I don't know
how it got there.
What do you think? Could be.
New. The right caliber.
- Sir, would you mind
coming along with us?
- What? Why?
We're investigating a murder,
and this might be the death weapon.
We need your statement.
Oh, uh, I... I can't leave here.
I'm a lawyer, and I'm supposed to
be meeting a very important client.
You wouldn't be Mr. Costigan?
Mr. Herbert Costigan?
Why... Why, yes. Yes, I am.
It's really an honor
meeting you, sir.
But you, an
officer of the court,
must realize and understand
why we need your statement.
Well, I... I guess
you're right. Yeah.
Oh, uh, by the way, that fisherman
over there, he saw me find the...
gun.
I g... I guess he must've gone.
There was a... a fisherman here.
Oh! That last quarter mile was
really dynamite, wasn't it, Larry?
Lar?
Oh!
Tell me something quick.
Is there a buzzard
circling this bungalow?
I think I passed away
during the last mile.
You're really a funny guy, Lar.
I'll just pop in and
change into my tennis stuff.
My reservation is for
30 minutes from now.
Hey, you're not
worn out, are ya?
I can't stand a man who
isn't full of energy all the time.
Who, me? Worn
out? Are you kidding?
Why, I'm... I'm too full
of pep to be pooped.
As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind a
little kiss just to keep my motor running.
Down, boy. You gotta get
into your tennis clothes too.
And remember what I told
you. I'm an old-fashioned girl.
I like my man to take what
he wants, not ask for it.
And she's only half of it.
Oh, this is gonna be
one wonderful weekend.
If I live through it.
Mrs. Deering, you're
saying you had no intention...
of killing Mr. Deering.
Then it's your contention, Mrs.
Deering, that your husband...
was attacking you, and
you fired in self-defense?
It's not my contention.
It's the truth. I swear it is!
He was hitting me,
trying to strangle me.
But if that's true, why did
you dispose of the body?
- Dump it in the ocean?
- I don't know!
I g... I... I guess I just
wasn't thinking straight.
Your Honor, the prosecution requests
a recess in this preliminary hearing.
- For what purpose, counselor?
- We have new evidence...
The murder weapon registered
to Mrs. Pamela Deering.
The amended charge will
be murder in the first degree.
My God! I... I...
In the absence of
the corpus delicti,
bail is continued at $100,000.
Excuse me. What?
I think, uh... That is, uh...
I'm sure, uh, that you,
uh, wanted to see me?
Wh-What do you mean?
Uh, I'm an attorney.
Herbert Costigan.
You've heard of me?
Herbert Costigan.
Everyone's heard of you.
Well, uh, I didn't
know exactly...
how it was gonna happen
and, you see, Mr. Roarke,
he didn't explain, and I was
supposed to find the, uh...
Well, that doesn't matter.
The thing is, I'm an attorney.
I think you could use my help.
Pamela, darling, is
something wrong?
I... I don't know, Cecile.
- This...
- Costigan. Herbert Costigan.
He wants to represent me.
Pamela, darling, I think this
might be just what we need.
Oh!
Likes a man to take
what he wants, huh?
Okay!
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
Ow! What are you doing, Dina?
You said you liked a man
to be aggressive, didn't ya?
I'm not Dina. I'm Nina.
Dina is my twin sister, but
personally, I don't see the resemblance.
You and Dina are twins?
That's right.
But there's one thing I find
absolutely captivating about you.
Oh? What's that?
That Dina likes you.
My favorite sport is stealing
desirable men away from my sister.
Oh?
How would you feel about taking
me out to dinner this evening?
This evening? Yes.
I'm a night person.
Nothing worth doing is worth
doing until after the sun sets.
Well, what do you
say? Oh, what can I say?
I'll be there. 8:00.
The main dining room.
Oh, and don't tell
Dina. I'll tell her later.
I love to watch her
throw a tantrum.
By the way, what's your name?
- Uh, Larry.
- I like Lawrence better.
Oh, and Lawrence,
I hate casual attire.
Dress up for me this
evening. You won't regret it.
Ohhh!
Oh! Not only two
girls, but twins!
That Mr. Roarke is fantastic!
I'm going to have a
ménage à trois with twins!
Hey, what are
you doing in there?
Hey!
Hey, come back!
Charles Deering.
The man that was murdered!
What in the world?
I mean, how...
Oh, my God!
I'm being framed!
Open up. It's the police!
Freeze! Hold it right there.
Hands behind your head.
Listen, it's not what you think.
It never is.
♪♪
Eh, Tattoo?
In a fine restaurant,
management personnel do
not snack from a guest's tray.
I was not snacking, boss.
I was merely inspecting the cracker
to see if there was enough caviar on it.
We do not inspect
caviar with our mouths.
You do it your
way, I do it my way.
Mmm!
Oh, Mr. Roarke, Tattoo,
I wanna thank you from
the bottom of my heart.
Twins! Gorgeous, terrific twins!
You made my fantasy even more
fantastic than I thought it could be.
Oh, we are very
pleased, Mr. Barbour.
Oh, I wouldn't miss tonight
for anything in the world.
There she is now. Ohhh!
Oh, bless you. Bless me. Twins!
There goes a happy man.
Yes, but what is
happiness, my friend?
Happiness is a
cracker with caviar on it.
In this case, I think happiness might
be the buzz-buzz-buzz of a dentist's drill.
If we hadn't felt the situation
to be urgent, Your Honor,
we never would have
requested a special night session.
That is, our case against
the accused, Your Honor.
The wallet of the
deceased, Charles Deering.
His passport, credit
cards, his diamond ring,
plus $2,500 in new bills, all
found in Mr. Costigan's residence.
And this, uh, gun he has
alleged to have found?
Ballistic tests prove it fired the bullet
embedded in the wall at the death scene.
We also have, Your Honor, the
deceased widow and her friend...
ready to testify to the accused's
acquaintance with Mrs. Deering's husband.
- What?
- Stand up, Mr. Costigan.
You are charged with
murder in the first degree.
How do you plead?
This is ridiculous!
I've never even been in
this town before yesterday.
I don't even know
a Charles Deering.
I'm being framed.
Yes, Mr. Costigan.
We already heard about
the mysterious fisherman
you claim not only
saw you find the gun,
but then later broke into your house,
planted the evidence to frame you.
Unfortunately, no one else
has seen this fiendish fisherman.
Look, I don't know
what's going on.
I mean, I never even
saw these people before.
And the idea that I
would commit a murder...
You see, I'm an attorney.
My only reason for
becoming involved...
Mr. Costigan, you
should be advised,
after your earlier
visit to our court,
I had my clerk check
in every bar directory.
There is no Herbert
Costigan listed in any of them.
You are, Mr. Costigan, if
indeed that is your real name,
at the very least a fraud.
And may I suggest...
what you need right now...
is a good lawyer.
♪♪
Lawrence, can't we go
someplace more intimate for dinner?
Intimate? What a
sensational idea.
There's always my room.
Your room.
Ah, that's certainly
intimate. Yeah.
Uh, could we take a cab?
M-My feet just fainted.
Thank you.
Excuse me while I go place our
dinner order with room service.
You do like French cooking? Oh!
It's supposed to
be the food of love.
♪♪
Ahh!
♪♪
- Surprised to see me?
- Dina?
Yeah.
Wh-What are you doing here? I
mean, this isn't your kind of place.
There's no basketball net.
Not even a set of weights.
Why don't, uh... Why don't we get together
bright and early tomorrow morning, huh?
W-We'll go spear fishing.
- Are you nervous or somethin'?
- Who, me? Nervous? No.
I was just worried about...
Darn. Here. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh!
You see, I, uh... I
came lookin' for you,
even though I figured you
must have another date,
'cause... I like you very much.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, it isn't a date actually.
It's more of an act of charity.
You see, she's quite an elderly
lady, and I thought a night out...
Is this her shawl? Someone I know
and can't stand has a shawl like this.
Uh, no. You don't
know the person I'm with.
She's a total
stranger. Even to me.
Too bad you're
all tied up tonight.
Well, I'll keep till morning.
What time tomorrow?
5:00 a.m. I just
love the sunrise.
See you then. Yeah.
5:00 a.m. I'll...
I'll be raring to go.
Looks like you've got a visitor.
Mr. Roarke, am
I glad to see you!
Well, I suppose I needn't
ask how things are going.
I gather not too well, huh?
Not like they were
supposed to go. Not at all.
Oh? And how were
they supposed to go?
Well, they found out
I'm really not an attorney.
Oh, that is a shame.
I was supposed to handle a
big case for an important client.
I end up here.
You've gotta call it off,
Mr. Roarke. I've gotta go back.
Call it off?
Go back?
Oh, Mr. Costigan, I'm
afraid that's impossible.
I explained: Once you were
committed, there was no turning back.
Remember? That
no one could help you.
No one, except yourself.
But... But they're
charging me with murder!
You wanted a big
case, Mr. Costigan.
Is there any bigger than murder?
Oh, b-but I... I
can't defend myself.
Can't you, Mr. Costigan?
If you can't, who can?
You asked for an
important client, didn't you?
Is there any more important
client than yourself?
Oh, Nina.
The minutes seemed like hours.
Everything's ready. Shall
we go? Shall we ever.
Here is your... your nice
little shawl. Thank you.
And here is your
sweet little purse.
And now let's hurry to...
This purse, it's not mine.
It's not? Oh, no, it...
Oh! I-It's... It's mine.
Wallets are so bulgy, you
know. They make my coat...
This is my sister's purse! Huh?
While I was ordering our
intimate midnight supper,
you were two-timing me with her.
Wait a minute. I can explain.
No explanations necessary.
No... Nina! Nina,
it's all a mistake.
Nina!
Dina. I'm still
in good with her.
I still have time.
Yes, sir.
The evening is not over yet.
Dina?
Uh, Dina, it's me, Larry.
Well, Larry, so
you came after all.
Thanks. What about
your little old lady?
Oh, uh, she had to get back. The, uh,
wrestling matches were coming on TV.
- Champagne?
- Just this once.
I'm not the drinker
in my family.
You must have me confused
with my twin sister, Nina.
I hung around a little while
after I left you at the restaurant,
and I saw you with
swingin' old Nina.
So, you can just forget
about plain, simple,
unsophisticated little me.
Good night.
Boss? Hmm?
What time is it, please?
Oh, I'm afraid you
still have an hour to go.
I never thought I'd be so
anxious to go to the dentist.
Oh, thank you for
the aspirin, Pepper.
Tattoo, why is Pepper wearing
a towel around his head?
He can't possibly
have a toothache.
I know. He's my friend.
Oh. Sympathy pains, huh?
Come in.
Ah, Mr. Barbour, do come
in. Sit down, won't you?
Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Um...
I, uh... I had a message
that you wanted to see me?
Oh, yes. Well, it's just that
it has come to my attention...
that your fantasy is not
progressing satisfactorily.
Is that correct?
Uh, well, let me
put it this way.
I've got Dina and
Nina all lined up...
as a firing squad,
and I'm the target.
Neither one of them will
have any more to do with me.
Well, I did warn you
what might happen...
if either lady were to find
out about the other, didn't I?
I suppose you're ready to
leave Fantasy Island now, hmm?
Leave? And go back
and face those 11 guys?
Oh, no, this is the fantasy we've been
dreaming about for the past 18 months.
If they find out I've flopped,
they'll feed me to a polar bear.
Now what I've got to do is some really
smooth talking, and I've got to organize.
Either that or become bear meat.
Yeah, you don't
have to remind me.
If I set up a scuba diving date
and an early dinner with Dina,
say, around, oh, 5:30...
Yes? Go on.
Then by the time we finished,
it would be time for Nina.
Yes, I think I've got it.
Dr. Marlowe, will you tell
the court in your own words...
what you learned
from the bartender?
Aye. He said he
heard that man...
You mean the defendant.
That's correct. That's the man.
He heard him making a deal...
with somebody to
kill Charles Deering.
He said he wanted $2,500.
That's a lie!
I... I mean, uh, I
object, Your Honor.
That is pure hearsay
and inadmissible.
I demand that that be
stricken from the record.
If you wish, Your Honor, we could
subpoena the bartender to corroborate...
No need. No need.
We already have the
$2,500 in evidence.
I'm going to let this
stand. Objection overruled.
Sit down, Mr. Costigan.
I'm through with the
witness, Your Honor.
Any cross, Mr. Costigan?
Not at this particular
time, Your Honor,
but the defense wishes him
to remain subject to recall.
Very well. You may step down.
Aye.
Mrs. Deering, in the
preliminary hearing,
you testified under oath...
that you were attacked
by your late husband...
and fired the gun
in self-defense.
Yet here in court today,
you declared that...
you were unconscious, and
you couldn't remember a thing.
Now which one of your statements
is the truth, and what's a lie?
Objection, Your
Honor. To answer the
question as put would
be self-incriminating.
Objection sustained. The
clerk will strike the question.
The witness need not answer.
Possibly, we can get
at the truth another way.
Was it your idea to get rid of
the body or somebody else's?
- What?
- I mean, one minute,
your husband's body...
was lying dead on the floor,
and the next minute, it was gone.
I mean, did you
remove the body? No.
Then who did?
Who are you protecting, Pamela?
So, it was your idea entirely
to dispose of the body.
In fact, you did dispose of
it all by yourself, didn't you?
- Objection. Leading the witness.
- Sustained.
Tell me, what were your true
feelings towards your friend's husband?
- What?
- Weren't you in fact
in love with him?
Your Honor, I fail to see
the connection between...
Nor I, Mr. Prosecutor.
Mr. Costigan, unless
you can connect this...
I believe I can
satisfy the court,
Your Honor, if I be permitted to
recall an earlier witness at this time.
Let me ask you a hypothetical
question, Dr. Marlowe.
If a man is in love with
his wife's best friend,
and he wants to
get rid of his wife,
would it be a better idea...
for him to kill her
or have her kill him?
Now you're making no
sense at all, Mr. Costigan.
Oh, but I am, Your Honor, because
that's exactly what this case is all about.
Your Honor, may we
approach the bench?
You certainly may.
- Well, Mr. Costigan?
- Your Honor,
there is only one way the circumstances
of this case can be explained.
Charles Deering
pretended to attack his wife.
Now, she grabbed for the gun, which
was previously loaded with blanks.
It went off, and her
husband fell dead.
And Mrs. Deering
fainted. That's in the record.
But if the gun were loaded
with blanks... I mean...
It was, but how could a little girl like
Cecile remove a heavy body like that?
I mean, the answer is,
there's no way. It's impossible!
But... the body
could remove itself.
If Charles Deering were alive...
Well, then there'd be no murder.
There would be no crime.
That's exactly my point.
You have no proof of that. Not
one scrap of evidence. Ah, but I do.
I have plenty of proof.
- Doctor?
- Aye?
Charles!
Oh!
Yeah.
Hello, world!
Nina? Wh-What is it?
It's... It's still light outside.
I can't wait for
you until 10:30.
I wanna see you now.
Now? Oh, no, Nina,
i-it's too early. I...
No, don't be silly. Of
course I wanna be with you.
It's j... What? 5:45?
I-In 15 minutes?
Oh, no, Nina, I can't... Nina?
N-Nina? N... Hey. Nina!
Dina, you sure got outta
your scuba gear fast.
Let's hit the chow and
get down to gettin' cozy.
Right. Oh, the chow! Right.
I-I knew there was
something I forgot.
Look, why don't you start
the hors d'oeuvres without me.
You're gonna love this one. It's
unborn lettuce feet on buckwheat.
It's rich in B1.
I, uh... I have to go
check on a very...
extra special health
casserole in the kitchen.
- No peeking.
- Okay, but if you're not back
in 10 minutes,
I'm coming after
you with guns blazin'.
Ten minutes.
That's... That's fine.
Bonsoir, mon chéri.
That's French for, uh...
Your shirt is undone. Huh?
Oh! Yes, the, uh,
laundry did that.
They put in too much starch.
I had to break the
sleeves with a hammer.
Ah. There now. Perfect.
Even though I did
have to rush madly...
to be with you this
early, you little minx.
Oh, no! What's wrong?
Well, your... your corsage.
It won't be the perfect evening we
both want so much without flowers.
I... I, uh... I left
them on the table.
I... I won't be but an instant.
Well, hurry, darling. The
champagne is getting warm.
I will.
♪♪
♪♪
Ah.
Dina, sweetheart, the
casserole needs a little more time.
So, why don't you dig into this nice
plate of yeast balls while I see to it?
Hey, you got lipstick
on your cheek.
Huh? Well... Of
course. You put it there.
I don't remember
kissing your cheek.
Well, that's what true
love is all about... amnesia.
Right back. Casserole.
♪♪
Lawrence! Just what
is going on here?
I demand an explanation.
Uh...
The explanation is that...
That this was a dumb
fantasy, and I'm a jerk.
I guess any man who thinks...
he can play games with
other people's lives is a... a jerk.
I'm sorry, Nina.
Good-bye.
A brilliant defense, counselor.
Mr. Roarke!
Truly expert... Your
courtroom technique.
The way you handle
witnesses... Superb.
Obviously what
you were born to do.
Well, I have to admit,
until you came to
visit me in the jail,
I had no idea what
was gonna happen.
And another thing you've
done is put to rest the old cliché.
What cliché? Don't they say,
"The lawyer who handles his
own case has a fool for a client"?
Well, it nearly came true.
For a while there, if it
hadn't occurred to me...
that the only possible
explanation was...
Your disguise.
Was that so if I
fouled up the defense,
you could come forward
as a witness and get me off?
No, I simply wanted
to see you in action.
And be around in
case I fouled up.
There was never any
doubt you would. Never.
You're leaving us, counselor.
Yes, I'm afraid I won't be able to
buy any more fantasies for a while.
You mean, you were disappointed?
Oh, no, no, no. It's just that it'll
take every nickel I can scrape up...
to help me finish my legal
education and pass the bar.
My congratulations.
Listen, uh, if you ever
need a good lawyer...
We'll keep you in mind.
Well, Nina, did you
enjoy your fantasy?
Yes, Mr. Roarke. I think I did.
And how does your
sister, Dina, feel about it?
The same.
- You mean, you're both
the same girls?
- The same.
I always wanted to see what
it would be like to be twins.
But I'm not sure I really
liked putting Larry on.
You know, after you get past
all his old-fashioned chauvinism,
he's really a nice person.
I probably blew any chance I
might've had with him as just plain me.
Well, in that case, why don't you
make a fresh start with his brother Barry?
- Larry has a twin?
- I'm sure he'll be delighted
to meet you.
Right.
Excuse me, Barry? Oh, hello.
Ta-da!
Larry! Oh!
- Boss, you cheated!
- What?
Oh!
Oh.
Oh, I almost forgot, Tattoo.
How was your trip to the dentist?
Fine. No more problems?
No more buzz-buzz.
And I better warn you,
from now on, you
better stay on your toes.
- Oh? Why is that?
- Well, the dentist said
it was not a cavity.
I'm growing a wisdom tooth.
Oh!
Oh, Tattoo, I'm sorry.
That tooth is bothering
you again, huh?
Toothache? Uh, what would
give you that idea, boss?
What gave me that idea?
That was an ice bag you were
holding to your face, wasn't it?
- Ice bag?
- If it is that toothache again,
you promised to go
to the dentist this time.
- I know, but it
does not hurt at all.
- Indeed.
Then why are you smiling
with only half your face...
while the other half looks like
you've just been run over by a truck?
Boss, the Jeep is coming.
We don't want our guests
to be waiting, do we?
Smiles, everyone. Smiles.
He look like a man who
just died and went to heaven.
Ah, yes. Mr. Larry Barbour.
And he is indeed
a very lucky man.
- He just won a raffle.
- A raffle?
Mm-hmm. A man after my own
heart. He must have a lot of money.
I'm afraid not, Tattoo.
You see, the prize he won in the
raffle was his trip to Fantasy Island.
- Who put up a prize like that?
- Mr. Barbour...
and the other 11
men in his crew,
who have spent the last
18 months of their lives...
isolated in the farthest
reaches of arctic Alaska...
working on the Alaska pipeline.
All 12 men chipped in for what
became their common fantasy.
Eighteen months
in Alaska? Mm-hmm.
I bet I know his fantasy. What?
He wants to pass the
weekend with a beautiful lady.
Only half right, Tattoo.
Mr. Larry Barbour,
as representative...
of the Alaska Pipeline
Crew Number 614,
wants to spend his
weekend with not just one,
but two of the most
beautiful girls in the world.
- Two women at once?
- Well, you should know.
The French have a name
for it... Ménage à trois.
- I have a name for it too.
- What?
Wow!
Mr. Herbert Costigan
makes his living...
doing law research
for trial lawyers.
His, uh, briefs, his prepared
questions for examination of witnesses...
are considered by many
to be positively brilliant.
If he's so good, how come
he's not practicing law himself?
Because, Tattoo, like too
many other people in this world,
Mr. Costigan lacks
self-confidence.
He's never been able to find the
courage to strike out on his own...
to find out what kind
of lawyer he could be.
And we are going to
help him to do that, boss?
Oh, we are indeed, Tattoo. We are
going to provide what he has asked...
The glamour and excitement
of a big courtroom trial...
A trial that will
involve life and death.
The question will be
whether it will be his.
My dear guests, I am
Mr. Roarke, your host.
Welcome to Fantasy Island.
Ah!
Eighteen months of
nothing but snow and ice.
I feel like I'm coming out
from under wraps, Mr. Roarke.
Now, where are
my fantasy fillies?
As a matter of fact, there is
one of the young ladies now.
Out of sight! Oh, yes! Yes!
And if number two looks anything
like this one, you've sure done your job.
When do I get started?
Uh, well, there is,
uh, one little tiny thing.
You see, it's in the character of
both girls to be the one and only.
I'm afraid if either were to find out you
were having a romance with the other,
the weekend would
be... a disaster.
- A disaster.
- Oh, but my fantasy...
was to have a romance with two of
the most beautiful girls in the world.
Oh, indeed, but it
was never stipulated...
that they be together, was it?
Look at it this way.
The danger of being
caught can be a lot of fun.
- Fun?
- Of course, if you want
to call it off...
Call it off? Oh, no, no, no.
I could never do that. The
guys are counting on me.
I...
Well, maybe this way
it will be more exciting.
When do I get to meet
number two? Oh, have faith.
Mr. Barbour, I promise you will
meet her before the day is over.
But I think perhaps you
should meet Dina first.
Um, and you can do that just as
soon as you're into proper uniform.
- Uniform?
- Indeed!
Now that's my kind of jog.
Good luck, Mr. Barbour!
Good luck.
This will be your home while
you're with us, Mr. Costigan.
And my client will
be coming here?
Oh, I can assure
you he will. Shall we?
Wow!
This is terrific!
Appropriate for one of the
country's greatest trial lawyers.
- What?
- You see, this side
of the island...
is a very plush
resort community.
Only the best people.
And they are all thrilled...
that the famous attorney, Herbert
Costigan, is going to be a neighbor.
- Me, famous?
- Oh, in a class
with F. Lee Bailey,
Jake Ehrlich and
all the top attorneys.
At least according to the
stories we have spread about you.
This is all terrific!
When do I see my client?
All in good time, Mr. Costigan.
Uh, but perhaps I
should warn you.
Once you commit yourself
to become involved in a case,
there is no turning back.
You will be Herbert Costigan,
famous criminal attorney from St.
Louis, and you will be on your own.
No one will be able to help
you. No one. Not even I.
- Do you understand?
- Yes! Yes! I'm ready.
Well, then, soon your very
important client will be here.
Oh, no!
Hey! Huh?
I was gonna let you catch up with
me at the mango tree around the bend.
- You were?
- Sure! I saw you following me.
I kept running 'cause I wanted
to see if you were sincere.
I'm having a very sincere
heart attack at the moment.
Men chase me a
lot when I'm jogging.
I rate them by how
long they keep it up.
A masher usually gives up
around a hundred yards or so.
A junior-grade sex
maniac, maybe half a mile.
But you... you stayed
with me for three miles!
Now, that's sincere! Dina McKay.
Hi. Larry Barbour.
It's a shame we couldn't
have met during my lifetime.
I like a man who isn't timid...
Who comes on full steam ahead...
Flowers, candy, holding
doors and like that.
I guess I'm just an
old-fashioned girl.
And I'm just an
old-fashioned dirty old man.
Hey, we're gonna have to know each
other a lot better before we get to that.
I love sunrise, sports, wheat
germ, riding and casual clothes.
- What do you love?
- Oh, all of the above.
Great! Then how about
a couple of sets of tennis?
My bungalow's just two
miles over the ridge. I'll race ya.
Whoa, uh, Dina!
Not... Not so fast. We...
Two miles!
Just a minute.
May I, uh, see that, sir?
Well, I, uh... I found it, uh,
in the water just over there.
I... I don't know
how it got there.
What do you think? Could be.
New. The right caliber.
- Sir, would you mind
coming along with us?
- What? Why?
We're investigating a murder,
and this might be the death weapon.
We need your statement.
Oh, uh, I... I can't leave here.
I'm a lawyer, and I'm supposed to
be meeting a very important client.
You wouldn't be Mr. Costigan?
Mr. Herbert Costigan?
Why... Why, yes. Yes, I am.
It's really an honor
meeting you, sir.
But you, an
officer of the court,
must realize and understand
why we need your statement.
Well, I... I guess
you're right. Yeah.
Oh, uh, by the way, that fisherman
over there, he saw me find the...
gun.
I g... I guess he must've gone.
There was a... a fisherman here.
Oh! That last quarter mile was
really dynamite, wasn't it, Larry?
Lar?
Oh!
Tell me something quick.
Is there a buzzard
circling this bungalow?
I think I passed away
during the last mile.
You're really a funny guy, Lar.
I'll just pop in and
change into my tennis stuff.
My reservation is for
30 minutes from now.
Hey, you're not
worn out, are ya?
I can't stand a man who
isn't full of energy all the time.
Who, me? Worn
out? Are you kidding?
Why, I'm... I'm too full
of pep to be pooped.
As a matter of fact, I wouldn't mind a
little kiss just to keep my motor running.
Down, boy. You gotta get
into your tennis clothes too.
And remember what I told
you. I'm an old-fashioned girl.
I like my man to take what
he wants, not ask for it.
And she's only half of it.
Oh, this is gonna be
one wonderful weekend.
If I live through it.
Mrs. Deering, you're
saying you had no intention...
of killing Mr. Deering.
Then it's your contention, Mrs.
Deering, that your husband...
was attacking you, and
you fired in self-defense?
It's not my contention.
It's the truth. I swear it is!
He was hitting me,
trying to strangle me.
But if that's true, why did
you dispose of the body?
- Dump it in the ocean?
- I don't know!
I g... I... I guess I just
wasn't thinking straight.
Your Honor, the prosecution requests
a recess in this preliminary hearing.
- For what purpose, counselor?
- We have new evidence...
The murder weapon registered
to Mrs. Pamela Deering.
The amended charge will
be murder in the first degree.
My God! I... I...
In the absence of
the corpus delicti,
bail is continued at $100,000.
Excuse me. What?
I think, uh... That is, uh...
I'm sure, uh, that you,
uh, wanted to see me?
Wh-What do you mean?
Uh, I'm an attorney.
Herbert Costigan.
You've heard of me?
Herbert Costigan.
Everyone's heard of you.
Well, uh, I didn't
know exactly...
how it was gonna happen
and, you see, Mr. Roarke,
he didn't explain, and I was
supposed to find the, uh...
Well, that doesn't matter.
The thing is, I'm an attorney.
I think you could use my help.
Pamela, darling, is
something wrong?
I... I don't know, Cecile.
- This...
- Costigan. Herbert Costigan.
He wants to represent me.
Pamela, darling, I think this
might be just what we need.
Oh!
Likes a man to take
what he wants, huh?
Okay!
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
Ow! What are you doing, Dina?
You said you liked a man
to be aggressive, didn't ya?
I'm not Dina. I'm Nina.
Dina is my twin sister, but
personally, I don't see the resemblance.
You and Dina are twins?
That's right.
But there's one thing I find
absolutely captivating about you.
Oh? What's that?
That Dina likes you.
My favorite sport is stealing
desirable men away from my sister.
Oh?
How would you feel about taking
me out to dinner this evening?
This evening? Yes.
I'm a night person.
Nothing worth doing is worth
doing until after the sun sets.
Well, what do you
say? Oh, what can I say?
I'll be there. 8:00.
The main dining room.
Oh, and don't tell
Dina. I'll tell her later.
I love to watch her
throw a tantrum.
By the way, what's your name?
- Uh, Larry.
- I like Lawrence better.
Oh, and Lawrence,
I hate casual attire.
Dress up for me this
evening. You won't regret it.
Ohhh!
Oh! Not only two
girls, but twins!
That Mr. Roarke is fantastic!
I'm going to have a
ménage à trois with twins!
Hey, what are
you doing in there?
Hey!
Hey, come back!
Charles Deering.
The man that was murdered!
What in the world?
I mean, how...
Oh, my God!
I'm being framed!
Open up. It's the police!
Freeze! Hold it right there.
Hands behind your head.
Listen, it's not what you think.
It never is.
♪♪
Eh, Tattoo?
In a fine restaurant,
management personnel do
not snack from a guest's tray.
I was not snacking, boss.
I was merely inspecting the cracker
to see if there was enough caviar on it.
We do not inspect
caviar with our mouths.
You do it your
way, I do it my way.
Mmm!
Oh, Mr. Roarke, Tattoo,
I wanna thank you from
the bottom of my heart.
Twins! Gorgeous, terrific twins!
You made my fantasy even more
fantastic than I thought it could be.
Oh, we are very
pleased, Mr. Barbour.
Oh, I wouldn't miss tonight
for anything in the world.
There she is now. Ohhh!
Oh, bless you. Bless me. Twins!
There goes a happy man.
Yes, but what is
happiness, my friend?
Happiness is a
cracker with caviar on it.
In this case, I think happiness might
be the buzz-buzz-buzz of a dentist's drill.
If we hadn't felt the situation
to be urgent, Your Honor,
we never would have
requested a special night session.
That is, our case against
the accused, Your Honor.
The wallet of the
deceased, Charles Deering.
His passport, credit
cards, his diamond ring,
plus $2,500 in new bills, all
found in Mr. Costigan's residence.
And this, uh, gun he has
alleged to have found?
Ballistic tests prove it fired the bullet
embedded in the wall at the death scene.
We also have, Your Honor, the
deceased widow and her friend...
ready to testify to the accused's
acquaintance with Mrs. Deering's husband.
- What?
- Stand up, Mr. Costigan.
You are charged with
murder in the first degree.
How do you plead?
This is ridiculous!
I've never even been in
this town before yesterday.
I don't even know
a Charles Deering.
I'm being framed.
Yes, Mr. Costigan.
We already heard about
the mysterious fisherman
you claim not only
saw you find the gun,
but then later broke into your house,
planted the evidence to frame you.
Unfortunately, no one else
has seen this fiendish fisherman.
Look, I don't know
what's going on.
I mean, I never even
saw these people before.
And the idea that I
would commit a murder...
You see, I'm an attorney.
My only reason for
becoming involved...
Mr. Costigan, you
should be advised,
after your earlier
visit to our court,
I had my clerk check
in every bar directory.
There is no Herbert
Costigan listed in any of them.
You are, Mr. Costigan, if
indeed that is your real name,
at the very least a fraud.
And may I suggest...
what you need right now...
is a good lawyer.
♪♪
Lawrence, can't we go
someplace more intimate for dinner?
Intimate? What a
sensational idea.
There's always my room.
Your room.
Ah, that's certainly
intimate. Yeah.
Uh, could we take a cab?
M-My feet just fainted.
Thank you.
Excuse me while I go place our
dinner order with room service.
You do like French cooking? Oh!
It's supposed to
be the food of love.
♪♪
Ahh!
♪♪
- Surprised to see me?
- Dina?
Yeah.
Wh-What are you doing here? I
mean, this isn't your kind of place.
There's no basketball net.
Not even a set of weights.
Why don't, uh... Why don't we get together
bright and early tomorrow morning, huh?
W-We'll go spear fishing.
- Are you nervous or somethin'?
- Who, me? Nervous? No.
I was just worried about...
Darn. Here. Oh, oh, oh, oh! Oh!
You see, I, uh... I
came lookin' for you,
even though I figured you
must have another date,
'cause... I like you very much.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Well, it isn't a date actually.
It's more of an act of charity.
You see, she's quite an elderly
lady, and I thought a night out...
Is this her shawl? Someone I know
and can't stand has a shawl like this.
Uh, no. You don't
know the person I'm with.
She's a total
stranger. Even to me.
Too bad you're
all tied up tonight.
Well, I'll keep till morning.
What time tomorrow?
5:00 a.m. I just
love the sunrise.
See you then. Yeah.
5:00 a.m. I'll...
I'll be raring to go.
Looks like you've got a visitor.
Mr. Roarke, am
I glad to see you!
Well, I suppose I needn't
ask how things are going.
I gather not too well, huh?
Not like they were
supposed to go. Not at all.
Oh? And how were
they supposed to go?
Well, they found out
I'm really not an attorney.
Oh, that is a shame.
I was supposed to handle a
big case for an important client.
I end up here.
You've gotta call it off,
Mr. Roarke. I've gotta go back.
Call it off?
Go back?
Oh, Mr. Costigan, I'm
afraid that's impossible.
I explained: Once you were
committed, there was no turning back.
Remember? That
no one could help you.
No one, except yourself.
But... But they're
charging me with murder!
You wanted a big
case, Mr. Costigan.
Is there any bigger than murder?
Oh, b-but I... I
can't defend myself.
Can't you, Mr. Costigan?
If you can't, who can?
You asked for an
important client, didn't you?
Is there any more important
client than yourself?
Oh, Nina.
The minutes seemed like hours.
Everything's ready. Shall
we go? Shall we ever.
Here is your... your nice
little shawl. Thank you.
And here is your
sweet little purse.
And now let's hurry to...
This purse, it's not mine.
It's not? Oh, no, it...
Oh! I-It's... It's mine.
Wallets are so bulgy, you
know. They make my coat...
This is my sister's purse! Huh?
While I was ordering our
intimate midnight supper,
you were two-timing me with her.
Wait a minute. I can explain.
No explanations necessary.
No... Nina! Nina,
it's all a mistake.
Nina!
Dina. I'm still
in good with her.
I still have time.
Yes, sir.
The evening is not over yet.
Dina?
Uh, Dina, it's me, Larry.
Well, Larry, so
you came after all.
Thanks. What about
your little old lady?
Oh, uh, she had to get back. The, uh,
wrestling matches were coming on TV.
- Champagne?
- Just this once.
I'm not the drinker
in my family.
You must have me confused
with my twin sister, Nina.
I hung around a little while
after I left you at the restaurant,
and I saw you with
swingin' old Nina.
So, you can just forget
about plain, simple,
unsophisticated little me.
Good night.
Boss? Hmm?
What time is it, please?
Oh, I'm afraid you
still have an hour to go.
I never thought I'd be so
anxious to go to the dentist.
Oh, thank you for
the aspirin, Pepper.
Tattoo, why is Pepper wearing
a towel around his head?
He can't possibly
have a toothache.
I know. He's my friend.
Oh. Sympathy pains, huh?
Come in.
Ah, Mr. Barbour, do come
in. Sit down, won't you?
Thank you, Mr. Roarke. Um...
I, uh... I had a message
that you wanted to see me?
Oh, yes. Well, it's just that
it has come to my attention...
that your fantasy is not
progressing satisfactorily.
Is that correct?
Uh, well, let me
put it this way.
I've got Dina and
Nina all lined up...
as a firing squad,
and I'm the target.
Neither one of them will
have any more to do with me.
Well, I did warn you
what might happen...
if either lady were to find
out about the other, didn't I?
I suppose you're ready to
leave Fantasy Island now, hmm?
Leave? And go back
and face those 11 guys?
Oh, no, this is the fantasy we've been
dreaming about for the past 18 months.
If they find out I've flopped,
they'll feed me to a polar bear.
Now what I've got to do is some really
smooth talking, and I've got to organize.
Either that or become bear meat.
Yeah, you don't
have to remind me.
If I set up a scuba diving date
and an early dinner with Dina,
say, around, oh, 5:30...
Yes? Go on.
Then by the time we finished,
it would be time for Nina.
Yes, I think I've got it.
Dr. Marlowe, will you tell
the court in your own words...
what you learned
from the bartender?
Aye. He said he
heard that man...
You mean the defendant.
That's correct. That's the man.
He heard him making a deal...
with somebody to
kill Charles Deering.
He said he wanted $2,500.
That's a lie!
I... I mean, uh, I
object, Your Honor.
That is pure hearsay
and inadmissible.
I demand that that be
stricken from the record.
If you wish, Your Honor, we could
subpoena the bartender to corroborate...
No need. No need.
We already have the
$2,500 in evidence.
I'm going to let this
stand. Objection overruled.
Sit down, Mr. Costigan.
I'm through with the
witness, Your Honor.
Any cross, Mr. Costigan?
Not at this particular
time, Your Honor,
but the defense wishes him
to remain subject to recall.
Very well. You may step down.
Aye.
Mrs. Deering, in the
preliminary hearing,
you testified under oath...
that you were attacked
by your late husband...
and fired the gun
in self-defense.
Yet here in court today,
you declared that...
you were unconscious, and
you couldn't remember a thing.
Now which one of your statements
is the truth, and what's a lie?
Objection, Your
Honor. To answer the
question as put would
be self-incriminating.
Objection sustained. The
clerk will strike the question.
The witness need not answer.
Possibly, we can get
at the truth another way.
Was it your idea to get rid of
the body or somebody else's?
- What?
- I mean, one minute,
your husband's body...
was lying dead on the floor,
and the next minute, it was gone.
I mean, did you
remove the body? No.
Then who did?
Who are you protecting, Pamela?
So, it was your idea entirely
to dispose of the body.
In fact, you did dispose of
it all by yourself, didn't you?
- Objection. Leading the witness.
- Sustained.
Tell me, what were your true
feelings towards your friend's husband?
- What?
- Weren't you in fact
in love with him?
Your Honor, I fail to see
the connection between...
Nor I, Mr. Prosecutor.
Mr. Costigan, unless
you can connect this...
I believe I can
satisfy the court,
Your Honor, if I be permitted to
recall an earlier witness at this time.
Let me ask you a hypothetical
question, Dr. Marlowe.
If a man is in love with
his wife's best friend,
and he wants to
get rid of his wife,
would it be a better idea...
for him to kill her
or have her kill him?
Now you're making no
sense at all, Mr. Costigan.
Oh, but I am, Your Honor, because
that's exactly what this case is all about.
Your Honor, may we
approach the bench?
You certainly may.
- Well, Mr. Costigan?
- Your Honor,
there is only one way the circumstances
of this case can be explained.
Charles Deering
pretended to attack his wife.
Now, she grabbed for the gun, which
was previously loaded with blanks.
It went off, and her
husband fell dead.
And Mrs. Deering
fainted. That's in the record.
But if the gun were loaded
with blanks... I mean...
It was, but how could a little girl like
Cecile remove a heavy body like that?
I mean, the answer is,
there's no way. It's impossible!
But... the body
could remove itself.
If Charles Deering were alive...
Well, then there'd be no murder.
There would be no crime.
That's exactly my point.
You have no proof of that. Not
one scrap of evidence. Ah, but I do.
I have plenty of proof.
- Doctor?
- Aye?
Charles!
Oh!
Yeah.
Hello, world!
Nina? Wh-What is it?
It's... It's still light outside.
I can't wait for
you until 10:30.
I wanna see you now.
Now? Oh, no, Nina,
i-it's too early. I...
No, don't be silly. Of
course I wanna be with you.
It's j... What? 5:45?
I-In 15 minutes?
Oh, no, Nina, I can't... Nina?
N-Nina? N... Hey. Nina!
Dina, you sure got outta
your scuba gear fast.
Let's hit the chow and
get down to gettin' cozy.
Right. Oh, the chow! Right.
I-I knew there was
something I forgot.
Look, why don't you start
the hors d'oeuvres without me.
You're gonna love this one. It's
unborn lettuce feet on buckwheat.
It's rich in B1.
I, uh... I have to go
check on a very...
extra special health
casserole in the kitchen.
- No peeking.
- Okay, but if you're not back
in 10 minutes,
I'm coming after
you with guns blazin'.
Ten minutes.
That's... That's fine.
Bonsoir, mon chéri.
That's French for, uh...
Your shirt is undone. Huh?
Oh! Yes, the, uh,
laundry did that.
They put in too much starch.
I had to break the
sleeves with a hammer.
Ah. There now. Perfect.
Even though I did
have to rush madly...
to be with you this
early, you little minx.
Oh, no! What's wrong?
Well, your... your corsage.
It won't be the perfect evening we
both want so much without flowers.
I... I, uh... I left
them on the table.
I... I won't be but an instant.
Well, hurry, darling. The
champagne is getting warm.
I will.
♪♪
♪♪
Ah.
Dina, sweetheart, the
casserole needs a little more time.
So, why don't you dig into this nice
plate of yeast balls while I see to it?
Hey, you got lipstick
on your cheek.
Huh? Well... Of
course. You put it there.
I don't remember
kissing your cheek.
Well, that's what true
love is all about... amnesia.
Right back. Casserole.
♪♪
Lawrence! Just what
is going on here?
I demand an explanation.
Uh...
The explanation is that...
That this was a dumb
fantasy, and I'm a jerk.
I guess any man who thinks...
he can play games with
other people's lives is a... a jerk.
I'm sorry, Nina.
Good-bye.
A brilliant defense, counselor.
Mr. Roarke!
Truly expert... Your
courtroom technique.
The way you handle
witnesses... Superb.
Obviously what
you were born to do.
Well, I have to admit,
until you came to
visit me in the jail,
I had no idea what
was gonna happen.
And another thing you've
done is put to rest the old cliché.
What cliché? Don't they say,
"The lawyer who handles his
own case has a fool for a client"?
Well, it nearly came true.
For a while there, if it
hadn't occurred to me...
that the only possible
explanation was...
Your disguise.
Was that so if I
fouled up the defense,
you could come forward
as a witness and get me off?
No, I simply wanted
to see you in action.
And be around in
case I fouled up.
There was never any
doubt you would. Never.
You're leaving us, counselor.
Yes, I'm afraid I won't be able to
buy any more fantasies for a while.
You mean, you were disappointed?
Oh, no, no, no. It's just that it'll
take every nickel I can scrape up...
to help me finish my legal
education and pass the bar.
My congratulations.
Listen, uh, if you ever
need a good lawyer...
We'll keep you in mind.
Well, Nina, did you
enjoy your fantasy?
Yes, Mr. Roarke. I think I did.
And how does your
sister, Dina, feel about it?
The same.
- You mean, you're both
the same girls?
- The same.
I always wanted to see what
it would be like to be twins.
But I'm not sure I really
liked putting Larry on.
You know, after you get past
all his old-fashioned chauvinism,
he's really a nice person.
I probably blew any chance I
might've had with him as just plain me.
Well, in that case, why don't you
make a fresh start with his brother Barry?
- Larry has a twin?
- I'm sure he'll be delighted
to meet you.
Right.
Excuse me, Barry? Oh, hello.
Ta-da!
Larry! Oh!
- Boss, you cheated!
- What?
Oh!
Oh.
Oh, I almost forgot, Tattoo.
How was your trip to the dentist?
Fine. No more problems?
No more buzz-buzz.
And I better warn you,
from now on, you
better stay on your toes.
- Oh? Why is that?
- Well, the dentist said
it was not a cavity.
I'm growing a wisdom tooth.
Oh!