Everybody Loves Raymond (1996–2005): Season 2, Episode 23 - The Garage Sale - full transcript
Marie and Frank have a yard sale. But Ray doesn't want to sell the baby stuff.
- What's that thing?
- It's a coin sorter.
Herminsons are having
a garage sale,
And you know how I feel
about loose change:
Not for me.
- Ugh.
Something else we don't need.
Your father's been bringing home
useless junk for 40 years.
- You were item number one.
- We should be having
a garage sale, frank.
- No.
No garage sale.
I'm not lugging everything
up from the basement
And then standing out there
all day dealing with people.
People.
- I bet ed's making a lot
of money on that thing.
- He told me
he already made $200.
- Ooh.
- $200?
For herminson's crap?
We got much better crap
than him.
We're having
a garage sale.
No, no, better.
Make it a yard sale.
That's classier.
I bet I can sell this thing
for $15.
That's pure profit.
- Hey, who took my thing, dad?
- Hey, listen up.
You and robert
got till tomorrow morning
At 8:00 in the a.M.
To get all the crap
You're storing
in this house out.
We're clearing the place out.
- Oh, my god.
You're moving?
- No, we're having a yard sale.
- Oh, oh, yard sale.
Oh, for a second
I thought you were moving,
Which would make us
so, so sad.
- Aww.
No, sweetie.
We're not going anywhere, no.
Oh.
[smooches]
No,
we'll always be with you.
- 'cause I'll help you move.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
Got a half an hour.
- Yeah, relax.
- Move it out!
- Take it easy, dad,
all right?
Nobody's at your yard sale yet.
The bowling alleys
are still open.
- Well, anything
you don't claim, I'm selling.
- Hey, listen,
if we don't want it for free,
What makes you think people
are gonna pay for it?
- People are idiots.
- Did you know
I used to come down here
To hide from you?
- Oh, yeah?
I used to come down here
to hide from dad.
- He used to come down
to hide from mom.
- Remember when we all ended up
down here at the same time?
- Then mom locked us in
to teach us a lesson.
- And dad shut off the water
While she was still
in the shower.
- Yeah.
- Good times.
- [chuckles]
yeah.
- All right,
let's get to it, huh?
- Oh, oh, man.
You know what,
this is just--
It's too much like work.
Look, just let dad sell
what's ever here.
That's all.
- What, are you kidding?
This is our childhood.
This is who we are.
- Hey, hey, hey,
my handprint turkey.
Gully, gully, gully,
gah, gah, gah, gah.
[chuckles]
- That's a turkey?
- Yeah, you know,
I was a kid.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- Ahh, look at this.
Look at all this--
All this cool school stuff
of mine.
- Where's my stuff?
- Ahh, look at this.
I invented this in shop class.
- You invented wood.
- It's a bug-killing system.
Look, I wrote directions down.
"put bug on block 'a'
and press down with block 'b'
"until crunching is heard.
Rinse and repeat."
- All these boxes
say "ray" on 'em.
I used to have things too,
you know.
- Here you go.
Here's something
with your name on it.
- What?
- Your baby shoes?
- 40 years,
this is all they saved.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hector von fuzzy pants.
[giggling]
Or something.
I don't--
hector von some--
I don't know.
Oh, it's stupid.
- All right.
Come on,
hurry up, boys.
Your father
wants a staff meeting
On the lawn
in five minutes.
- Ma, what are you doing?
What are you selling
all this stuff for?
- 'cause I need this area
for your father.
See, I'm gonna bring down
a chair and a television,
And I'm gonna leave meals
at the top of the stairs.
He'll be very happy.
- Ma, ma, wait.
- What?
- What's with these shoes?
What'd you save these for?
- I don't know.
Let me see.
[gasps]
Oh, I bought these for you
for christmas one year.
- I never got 'em.
- I must have hidden them
down here
And forgotten
to give them to you.
[laughs]
That's funny.
- Shoes for christmas.
- [mouthing words]
- Oh.
What's all that?
- This is my whole childhood
that my parents want to sell
To any zeke with a pickup.
- Now, where are we
gonna keep all this stuff?
- Come on, debra.
This is--it's good stuff.
- Oh, look.
"ray, 1969," oh.
- It's an ashtray.
I made it for my dad.
Said he loved it.
Said he would start smoking.
He never did.
- Well, when the time comes,
you'll smoke for your children.
- What do you got there?
- Oh, it's just a bunch
of clothing
I was just gonna take it over
to the yard sale.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Come on, kids.
Got to go to grandma
and grandpa's.
Ray,
just grab that crib, okay?
Oh, come on.
Go on, ray.
Hurry up.
- We're getting rid
of the cribs?
- Yeah, what do we need them
for anymore?
- I don't know.
- What?
- I don't know,
in case--
- What, for what?
- I don't know.
- What, for all the other kids
we're gonna have?
Yeah, why don't we have ten more
and move into a shoe?
Hey, frank.
- Hey, hey.
Welcome to honest frank's
yard of bargains.
- Oh, yeah.
- Hiya, kids.
- Here we go.
- Okay, what have we here,
debra?
- Well,
it's mostly baby stuff.
The crib goes in furniture.
- Yeah.
- Clothes in clothes.
- Right.
- All right, hey.
Maybe I ought to start
an all-baby section.
[chuckles]
They're suckers for babies.
- You know what, dad?
We'll take care of all of this,
all right?
So we're gonna get rid
of all this stuff, huh?
- Yeah, and after your dad
takes his cut,
We get to keep 40%.
- Hey, hey, check this out.
- Dad, all right, can you
give us a second here, please?
- You see what I did?
I scraped the rust off.
Eye appeal is buy appeal.
20 bucks.
- 20 bucks?
Nobody's gonna pay
that for a used thermos.
- They will if it was used
by the pope.
Hey, fella, you catholic?
You like hot soup?
- Wow, I can't believe
we saved all this stuff, huh?
What do you think, ray?
Like, a buck
for a bag of bibs?
Buck a bag of bibs.
Buck
a bag of bibs.
A buck a bag of bibs.
Can you say that?
Just say it.
Buck a bag of bibs.
Buck a bag of bibs.
- Yeah, okay, look.
So we're not gonna
have any more kids?
- What, are you serious?
- I'm just--I'm wondering.
- I don't know.
Are we supposed to?
- I don't know.
I mean, I just--
I thought that if we weren't
We both would have known
about it.
- [clears throat]
I don't think this is the place
to talk about this right now.
- Oh, I wasn't listening.
- Listen.
I'm not saying
I definitely want more kids,
But I just didn't know
we had made that decision.
- Well, I mean, nobody made
an actual decision, ray.
- I just thought that--
I thought since we hadn't
done anything drastic--
- Drastic?
- Yes, you know,
since we hadn't...
Snip, snip, snip, snip,
That we could maybe--
- What?
- I don't know.
Maybe we could have more kids.
- Excuse me,
I couldn't help overhearing.
- Oh, god.
- Are we talking about
having more children?
- Ray.
- Ma, look, this is between
me and debra, okay?
- Yeah, and I don't think that
this is the place to do this.
- Raymond, what did you mean
By "snip, snip,
snip, snip, snip"?
- God, now I got to have
that dream.
What are you doing?
- Dad wants me to keep an eye
on that one in sporting goods.
- You really think
mrs. Scarpool
Is gonna steal
cross-country skis?
- Not on my watch.
- Hey, you two porcupines,
I need you
to bring that sofa bed
Up from the basement.
- Old lucky?
I mean, old musty?
- Listen, I haven't told
your mother yet,
But I'm fixing a little area
for her down there.
- A little area.
- I'm gonna bring down
her sewing machine,
Maybe a folding chair,
maybe a hot plate.
She'll love it.
She can stay down there
all day.
- Sounds like a sweatshop, dad.
- Nah, I'll give her
a little fan.
- Debra, would you help me
price these things?
If we look busy,
then nobody'll bother us.
- Oh, that doesn't work.
I just was trying
to look busy.
- Can I let you in
on a little secret?
- Um...
- I wanted to have
more children too.
- We don't want
to have more children.
- Oh?
Well, if I overheard correctly,
raymond does.
Listen.
I wanted to have another baby,
But frank wouldn't
even hear of it.
And well, I was just crushed.
You know, I love my boys,
But I always wanted
a little girl too.
You know what I used to do?
I used to put robbie
in a little pink dress
And dance him
around the room.
- You got any pictures of that?
- The reason
I bring it up is that,
Well, we're not getting
any younger, dear.
And you want to plant your
seedlings before winter comes
And everything freezes over.
- Jeez.
- You can't talk to her.
- All right, easy, easy.
Stop pushing it, robert.
- I'm not pushing.
- Take--I'm losing my grip.
I'm put--I'm putting it down.
- Wait, wait, wait!
- I'm putting it down.
Clunk!
- Ow!
- Well, what's the matter?
- You told me
while you were putting it down.
- Oh, you just--you're slow.
You used to do that to me
on the seesaw.
"I'm getting off,"
boom.
- Hey, chuckleheads,
this ain't the employee lounge.
I got a rube out there
I think I can unload this on.
- All right, take it easy, dad.
This thing weighs a ton,
all right?
- Well, then open it up
and pull the mattress out.
What, are you two
sharing a brain?
I'll use this cushion
to keep him on the hook.
[groans]
Ick.
There you go.
- All right.
- All right.
[grunting]
- Ready, one...
- Yeah.
- Two, three.
[dishes crashing]
- We were too close
to the table.
- Stupid couch,
stupid--
Stupid.
- Hey.
Don't take your problems
with debra out on the sofa bed.
- What are you talking about?
- I know the situation.
You know, the kid thing,
you and debra.
- Well, where'd you hear that?
- It's all over the yard.
- What?
- Don't worry.
What's said in the yard
stays in the yard.
Why is everybody talking
about this except me and debra?
- Well, we're all wondering
about that too.
And let me just say this, okay?
Debra has a point, ray.
All right, it's a lot of work
raising kids.
There you are at the office.
Then you come breezing home.
"look what I wrote.
Where's my dinner?"
How much help are you really?
- Okay, what--what do you know
about it?
- Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's right, huh?
What could I know?
I'm just robert;
I don't have any kids.
I'm a reproductive cul-de-sac.
- Can you just fold this up,
please?
- I could still have kids,
you know.
- I know, robert.
- Ooh.
- What are you guys
talking about?
- Don't worry, deb.
I'm on your side.
- You're on my side?
- That's right,
and I'm not the only one.
- I don't believe this, ray.
What are you doing?
- Hey, listen--
- [groans]
- Look, I just wanted to talk
about it, all right, that's all.
You just--you assumed
that we were done having kids.
Well, I don't know
that I'm done yet.
- Well, I am.
- Well...
- You know what?
Why don't I just get this
out of your way, okay?
[couch creaking
and banging]
It's stuck.
You know what,
I might be a while.
- Hey, there's a sucker out here
Who just paid sticker price
on the crib.
- The crib?
- Yeah, I need one
of you two numbskulls
To go put it in her car
before she sees the teeth marks.
- I'm gonna go.
- Ray.
- And mrs. Scarpool
is on your side too.
- Uh, listen--
- Ah, thanks,
it's the green minivan.
- Yeah, there's been
a misunderstanding.
This crib's not for sale.
- What?
- Yeah, sorry.
- But I already bought it.
Dad, give this woman
a refund, please.
- I'm sorry, lady.
All sales are final.
- But I want the crib.
- No, no, no, dad.
Dad, we're not selling
this crib.
Please, give her
her money back.
- What have you been smoking?
Give her the crib.
- All right, stop it, no.
No, dad, I'm not selling
the crib.
Please, how much
did you pay for this?
- Ray, ray, come on.
What are you doing?
- He's blowing the sale.
You're fired.
- Look, we're not selling
the crib.
Here, here's 40 bucks.
- She only paid $30.
- I don't care.
Please let go.
- Ray.
- It's raymond's crib.
They're gonna need it.
- No, we're not.
- I'm gonna need it Thursday.
- Marie, stop.
- Robert, help, help!
- Ray, give her the crib.
- No.
- What do you mean, no?
- I want another baby!
[crib creaking
and squeaking]
- That is one special
kind of idiot.
- Excuse me, sir?
How much for these photos
Of the cute little girl
in the pink dress?
- Ray.
- What?
- You want to talk?
- Do you?
- Well, everybody in the yard
thinks we should.
- Look, it's just that
That mean pregnant lady
was taking our crib.
I just wanted to stop
and think about it for a second.
That's all.
- Okay, okay.
Let's think about it.
Another baby.
We have three.
- Yeah, but it's really not
like three,
Because the twins
were kind of like a twofer.
You know?
- You know,
I gave birth to them, ray.
Believe me.
We have three.
- Look, I'm not saying
that I want more kids,
But to say that we're never
gonna have any more--
I don't know,
I mean--
Remember when they were born,
And they were so little
and stuff?
I liked that,
you know,
When they're little.
I don't know.
Don't you like that?
I like that.
- Oh, ray.
[door rattles]
- Oh, my god.
- Ma, can we be alone, please?
- No.
I mean, I'm happy
that you and debra
Are working things out,
But please,
this is my kitchen.
- We're talking, ma.
We're talking; that's all.
- Okay.
But I'm just outside,
And I can come back
any minute.
- That's just like
at our house.
- Look at this.
- Oh, yeah,
and look at the purple stain.
You remember
how that got there?
That's you
trying to give michael
His medicine in the dark.
- Hmm.
- And we all got that cold.
You remember?
- Huh.
- And I think ally
had a mouthful of tuna fish
When she sneezed
all over you.
Nobody got any sleep
that week.
- Or ever since.
- I'm just saying,
think about it.
More kids.
- Can we give back the ones
we already have?
- Oh.
Not without a receipt.
- Hmm.
I'm sorry.
Look, I don't know.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
All right, I'm gonna put
these back on the table.
Here, I don't think anybody's
gonna want that.
- You okay, ray?
- I'm tired, yeah.
- Ray?
- Ray?
Ray!
Please tell me
we had a sister!
- Right this way, my friend.
Don, is it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Don, I don't know
whether I should let you
Lie down on this beauty,
'cause once you're on it,
You're never gonna want
to get up.
[chuckles]
Floating on a cloud,
huh, don?
- There's, like,
a pole digging in my back.
- Don't worry about that.
[clanging]
- [shouts]
- You know,
it comes with a thermos.
Are you catholic?
- It's a coin sorter.
Herminsons are having
a garage sale,
And you know how I feel
about loose change:
Not for me.
- Ugh.
Something else we don't need.
Your father's been bringing home
useless junk for 40 years.
- You were item number one.
- We should be having
a garage sale, frank.
- No.
No garage sale.
I'm not lugging everything
up from the basement
And then standing out there
all day dealing with people.
People.
- I bet ed's making a lot
of money on that thing.
- He told me
he already made $200.
- Ooh.
- $200?
For herminson's crap?
We got much better crap
than him.
We're having
a garage sale.
No, no, better.
Make it a yard sale.
That's classier.
I bet I can sell this thing
for $15.
That's pure profit.
- Hey, who took my thing, dad?
- Hey, listen up.
You and robert
got till tomorrow morning
At 8:00 in the a.M.
To get all the crap
You're storing
in this house out.
We're clearing the place out.
- Oh, my god.
You're moving?
- No, we're having a yard sale.
- Oh, oh, yard sale.
Oh, for a second
I thought you were moving,
Which would make us
so, so sad.
- Aww.
No, sweetie.
We're not going anywhere, no.
Oh.
[smooches]
No,
we'll always be with you.
- 'cause I'll help you move.
- Let's go.
Let's go.
Got a half an hour.
- Yeah, relax.
- Move it out!
- Take it easy, dad,
all right?
Nobody's at your yard sale yet.
The bowling alleys
are still open.
- Well, anything
you don't claim, I'm selling.
- Hey, listen,
if we don't want it for free,
What makes you think people
are gonna pay for it?
- People are idiots.
- Did you know
I used to come down here
To hide from you?
- Oh, yeah?
I used to come down here
to hide from dad.
- He used to come down
to hide from mom.
- Remember when we all ended up
down here at the same time?
- Then mom locked us in
to teach us a lesson.
- And dad shut off the water
While she was still
in the shower.
- Yeah.
- Good times.
- [chuckles]
yeah.
- All right,
let's get to it, huh?
- Oh, oh, man.
You know what,
this is just--
It's too much like work.
Look, just let dad sell
what's ever here.
That's all.
- What, are you kidding?
This is our childhood.
This is who we are.
- Hey, hey, hey,
my handprint turkey.
Gully, gully, gully,
gah, gah, gah, gah.
[chuckles]
- That's a turkey?
- Yeah, you know,
I was a kid.
- Yeah, uh-huh.
- Ahh, look at this.
Look at all this--
All this cool school stuff
of mine.
- Where's my stuff?
- Ahh, look at this.
I invented this in shop class.
- You invented wood.
- It's a bug-killing system.
Look, I wrote directions down.
"put bug on block 'a'
and press down with block 'b'
"until crunching is heard.
Rinse and repeat."
- All these boxes
say "ray" on 'em.
I used to have things too,
you know.
- Here you go.
Here's something
with your name on it.
- What?
- Your baby shoes?
- 40 years,
this is all they saved.
- Hey, hey, hey.
Hector von fuzzy pants.
[giggling]
Or something.
I don't--
hector von some--
I don't know.
Oh, it's stupid.
- All right.
Come on,
hurry up, boys.
Your father
wants a staff meeting
On the lawn
in five minutes.
- Ma, what are you doing?
What are you selling
all this stuff for?
- 'cause I need this area
for your father.
See, I'm gonna bring down
a chair and a television,
And I'm gonna leave meals
at the top of the stairs.
He'll be very happy.
- Ma, ma, wait.
- What?
- What's with these shoes?
What'd you save these for?
- I don't know.
Let me see.
[gasps]
Oh, I bought these for you
for christmas one year.
- I never got 'em.
- I must have hidden them
down here
And forgotten
to give them to you.
[laughs]
That's funny.
- Shoes for christmas.
- [mouthing words]
- Oh.
What's all that?
- This is my whole childhood
that my parents want to sell
To any zeke with a pickup.
- Now, where are we
gonna keep all this stuff?
- Come on, debra.
This is--it's good stuff.
- Oh, look.
"ray, 1969," oh.
- It's an ashtray.
I made it for my dad.
Said he loved it.
Said he would start smoking.
He never did.
- Well, when the time comes,
you'll smoke for your children.
- What do you got there?
- Oh, it's just a bunch
of clothing
I was just gonna take it over
to the yard sale.
- Really?
- Yeah.
Come on, kids.
Got to go to grandma
and grandpa's.
Ray,
just grab that crib, okay?
Oh, come on.
Go on, ray.
Hurry up.
- We're getting rid
of the cribs?
- Yeah, what do we need them
for anymore?
- I don't know.
- What?
- I don't know,
in case--
- What, for what?
- I don't know.
- What, for all the other kids
we're gonna have?
Yeah, why don't we have ten more
and move into a shoe?
Hey, frank.
- Hey, hey.
Welcome to honest frank's
yard of bargains.
- Oh, yeah.
- Hiya, kids.
- Here we go.
- Okay, what have we here,
debra?
- Well,
it's mostly baby stuff.
The crib goes in furniture.
- Yeah.
- Clothes in clothes.
- Right.
- All right, hey.
Maybe I ought to start
an all-baby section.
[chuckles]
They're suckers for babies.
- You know what, dad?
We'll take care of all of this,
all right?
So we're gonna get rid
of all this stuff, huh?
- Yeah, and after your dad
takes his cut,
We get to keep 40%.
- Hey, hey, check this out.
- Dad, all right, can you
give us a second here, please?
- You see what I did?
I scraped the rust off.
Eye appeal is buy appeal.
20 bucks.
- 20 bucks?
Nobody's gonna pay
that for a used thermos.
- They will if it was used
by the pope.
Hey, fella, you catholic?
You like hot soup?
- Wow, I can't believe
we saved all this stuff, huh?
What do you think, ray?
Like, a buck
for a bag of bibs?
Buck a bag of bibs.
Buck
a bag of bibs.
A buck a bag of bibs.
Can you say that?
Just say it.
Buck a bag of bibs.
Buck a bag of bibs.
- Yeah, okay, look.
So we're not gonna
have any more kids?
- What, are you serious?
- I'm just--I'm wondering.
- I don't know.
Are we supposed to?
- I don't know.
I mean, I just--
I thought that if we weren't
We both would have known
about it.
- [clears throat]
I don't think this is the place
to talk about this right now.
- Oh, I wasn't listening.
- Listen.
I'm not saying
I definitely want more kids,
But I just didn't know
we had made that decision.
- Well, I mean, nobody made
an actual decision, ray.
- I just thought that--
I thought since we hadn't
done anything drastic--
- Drastic?
- Yes, you know,
since we hadn't...
Snip, snip, snip, snip,
That we could maybe--
- What?
- I don't know.
Maybe we could have more kids.
- Excuse me,
I couldn't help overhearing.
- Oh, god.
- Are we talking about
having more children?
- Ray.
- Ma, look, this is between
me and debra, okay?
- Yeah, and I don't think that
this is the place to do this.
- Raymond, what did you mean
By "snip, snip,
snip, snip, snip"?
- God, now I got to have
that dream.
What are you doing?
- Dad wants me to keep an eye
on that one in sporting goods.
- You really think
mrs. Scarpool
Is gonna steal
cross-country skis?
- Not on my watch.
- Hey, you two porcupines,
I need you
to bring that sofa bed
Up from the basement.
- Old lucky?
I mean, old musty?
- Listen, I haven't told
your mother yet,
But I'm fixing a little area
for her down there.
- A little area.
- I'm gonna bring down
her sewing machine,
Maybe a folding chair,
maybe a hot plate.
She'll love it.
She can stay down there
all day.
- Sounds like a sweatshop, dad.
- Nah, I'll give her
a little fan.
- Debra, would you help me
price these things?
If we look busy,
then nobody'll bother us.
- Oh, that doesn't work.
I just was trying
to look busy.
- Can I let you in
on a little secret?
- Um...
- I wanted to have
more children too.
- We don't want
to have more children.
- Oh?
Well, if I overheard correctly,
raymond does.
Listen.
I wanted to have another baby,
But frank wouldn't
even hear of it.
And well, I was just crushed.
You know, I love my boys,
But I always wanted
a little girl too.
You know what I used to do?
I used to put robbie
in a little pink dress
And dance him
around the room.
- You got any pictures of that?
- The reason
I bring it up is that,
Well, we're not getting
any younger, dear.
And you want to plant your
seedlings before winter comes
And everything freezes over.
- Jeez.
- You can't talk to her.
- All right, easy, easy.
Stop pushing it, robert.
- I'm not pushing.
- Take--I'm losing my grip.
I'm put--I'm putting it down.
- Wait, wait, wait!
- I'm putting it down.
Clunk!
- Ow!
- Well, what's the matter?
- You told me
while you were putting it down.
- Oh, you just--you're slow.
You used to do that to me
on the seesaw.
"I'm getting off,"
boom.
- Hey, chuckleheads,
this ain't the employee lounge.
I got a rube out there
I think I can unload this on.
- All right, take it easy, dad.
This thing weighs a ton,
all right?
- Well, then open it up
and pull the mattress out.
What, are you two
sharing a brain?
I'll use this cushion
to keep him on the hook.
[groans]
Ick.
There you go.
- All right.
- All right.
[grunting]
- Ready, one...
- Yeah.
- Two, three.
[dishes crashing]
- We were too close
to the table.
- Stupid couch,
stupid--
Stupid.
- Hey.
Don't take your problems
with debra out on the sofa bed.
- What are you talking about?
- I know the situation.
You know, the kid thing,
you and debra.
- Well, where'd you hear that?
- It's all over the yard.
- What?
- Don't worry.
What's said in the yard
stays in the yard.
Why is everybody talking
about this except me and debra?
- Well, we're all wondering
about that too.
And let me just say this, okay?
Debra has a point, ray.
All right, it's a lot of work
raising kids.
There you are at the office.
Then you come breezing home.
"look what I wrote.
Where's my dinner?"
How much help are you really?
- Okay, what--what do you know
about it?
- Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's right, huh?
What could I know?
I'm just robert;
I don't have any kids.
I'm a reproductive cul-de-sac.
- Can you just fold this up,
please?
- I could still have kids,
you know.
- I know, robert.
- Ooh.
- What are you guys
talking about?
- Don't worry, deb.
I'm on your side.
- You're on my side?
- That's right,
and I'm not the only one.
- I don't believe this, ray.
What are you doing?
- Hey, listen--
- [groans]
- Look, I just wanted to talk
about it, all right, that's all.
You just--you assumed
that we were done having kids.
Well, I don't know
that I'm done yet.
- Well, I am.
- Well...
- You know what?
Why don't I just get this
out of your way, okay?
[couch creaking
and banging]
It's stuck.
You know what,
I might be a while.
- Hey, there's a sucker out here
Who just paid sticker price
on the crib.
- The crib?
- Yeah, I need one
of you two numbskulls
To go put it in her car
before she sees the teeth marks.
- I'm gonna go.
- Ray.
- And mrs. Scarpool
is on your side too.
- Uh, listen--
- Ah, thanks,
it's the green minivan.
- Yeah, there's been
a misunderstanding.
This crib's not for sale.
- What?
- Yeah, sorry.
- But I already bought it.
Dad, give this woman
a refund, please.
- I'm sorry, lady.
All sales are final.
- But I want the crib.
- No, no, no, dad.
Dad, we're not selling
this crib.
Please, give her
her money back.
- What have you been smoking?
Give her the crib.
- All right, stop it, no.
No, dad, I'm not selling
the crib.
Please, how much
did you pay for this?
- Ray, ray, come on.
What are you doing?
- He's blowing the sale.
You're fired.
- Look, we're not selling
the crib.
Here, here's 40 bucks.
- She only paid $30.
- I don't care.
Please let go.
- Ray.
- It's raymond's crib.
They're gonna need it.
- No, we're not.
- I'm gonna need it Thursday.
- Marie, stop.
- Robert, help, help!
- Ray, give her the crib.
- No.
- What do you mean, no?
- I want another baby!
[crib creaking
and squeaking]
- That is one special
kind of idiot.
- Excuse me, sir?
How much for these photos
Of the cute little girl
in the pink dress?
- Ray.
- What?
- You want to talk?
- Do you?
- Well, everybody in the yard
thinks we should.
- Look, it's just that
That mean pregnant lady
was taking our crib.
I just wanted to stop
and think about it for a second.
That's all.
- Okay, okay.
Let's think about it.
Another baby.
We have three.
- Yeah, but it's really not
like three,
Because the twins
were kind of like a twofer.
You know?
- You know,
I gave birth to them, ray.
Believe me.
We have three.
- Look, I'm not saying
that I want more kids,
But to say that we're never
gonna have any more--
I don't know,
I mean--
Remember when they were born,
And they were so little
and stuff?
I liked that,
you know,
When they're little.
I don't know.
Don't you like that?
I like that.
- Oh, ray.
[door rattles]
- Oh, my god.
- Ma, can we be alone, please?
- No.
I mean, I'm happy
that you and debra
Are working things out,
But please,
this is my kitchen.
- We're talking, ma.
We're talking; that's all.
- Okay.
But I'm just outside,
And I can come back
any minute.
- That's just like
at our house.
- Look at this.
- Oh, yeah,
and look at the purple stain.
You remember
how that got there?
That's you
trying to give michael
His medicine in the dark.
- Hmm.
- And we all got that cold.
You remember?
- Huh.
- And I think ally
had a mouthful of tuna fish
When she sneezed
all over you.
Nobody got any sleep
that week.
- Or ever since.
- I'm just saying,
think about it.
More kids.
- Can we give back the ones
we already have?
- Oh.
Not without a receipt.
- Hmm.
I'm sorry.
Look, I don't know.
I don't know
what I was thinking.
All right, I'm gonna put
these back on the table.
Here, I don't think anybody's
gonna want that.
- You okay, ray?
- I'm tired, yeah.
- Ray?
- Ray?
Ray!
Please tell me
we had a sister!
- Right this way, my friend.
Don, is it?
- Mm-hmm.
- Don, I don't know
whether I should let you
Lie down on this beauty,
'cause once you're on it,
You're never gonna want
to get up.
[chuckles]
Floating on a cloud,
huh, don?
- There's, like,
a pole digging in my back.
- Don't worry about that.
[clanging]
- [shouts]
- You know,
it comes with a thermos.
Are you catholic?