Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 24 - Episode #2.24 - full transcript

Dick, voice-over:
I'm Dick Strawbridge,

and along with my wife, Angel,
and our two children,

we've lived in this
magnificent chateau in France

for the last 4 years.

Angel: I love you. I love you.
I love you.

Dick, voice-over:
It's not just our home...

Right, it's the canapes.

Dick, voice-over:
...but a business.

[Clanging]

And it turns out
we're not the only Brits

who have quit the U.K.
for the chateau life.



- Wow.
Never seen him like this.

- Can't talk.

Dick, voice-over:
Now Angel and I are back

helping more chateau owners
on their journey.

The whole of this has to be
completely tanked and sealed.

Dick, voice-over: We'll work
with some familiar faces...

- Good to see you.
- Welcome!

Dick, voice-over: ...and meet
some who are new to
the chateau life.

Angel: Good work.
Both: [Laughter]

- Ah...
- You broke it.

- Yeah.
- In the hole.

- Yeah.
- That's a bit of an issue.

Dick, voice-over: ...as they
battle to renovate their homes.

Angela: Ah!



Dick, voice-over: ...and make
them work as businesses.

Woman: Paul!
Our guests are here!

Dick, voice-over: There will be
extraordinary discoveries...

- Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

Dick, voice-over:
...and inevitable obstacles.

Ah!

Dick, voice-over:
But however hard the going gets,

for these plucky Brits, their
homes really are their castles.

[Indistinct chatter]

All: [Screaming]

Dick, voice-over: Today...

it's in at the deep end
for two chateau owners.

Wendy: We've got to make these
look like palm trees.

You melange them.

I'm like a duck
out of water here.

Dick, voice-over: As they launch
their hen party business.

Ah!
He's wearing his shorts.

Dick, voice-over:
At this medieval chateau
it's battle stations...

Stephan: Still today we have
a few hundred things to do.

Dick, voice-over: ...as they
welcome over 500 visitors
in a single afternoon.

It's all happening! It's great.
It kind of comes to life.

Dick, voice-over:
And I help a chateau owner...

It's well over 100 decibels.

Dick, voice-over: ...who's
worried his new music studio

could strike a bum note.

Turn it down.
Turn it down, please!

You're driving us batty
down here.

Dick, voice-over:
Dotted throughout
the French countryside

there are stunning chateaus
of every shape, size, and age.

A classic 19th-century example
is gorgeous Chateau
La Grande Maison,

now home to British musicians
Ben and Billie

and their teenage daughter Ella.

Ben: So we came through our
gate, looked up at the house,

at that moment, life changed.

Billie: Yeah, we just knew
we had to buy it, didn't we?

Ben: Yeah. 6 months later,
we're here,

our daughter in school,
living a new life in France.

Dick, voice-over:
Set amongst the countryside
close to the Loire Valley,

Ben and Billie have spent
the last 7 years restoring
the chateau

as a home and boutique B&B.

Ben: There were parts of the
house that hadn't been used
since the 1800s

and other parts that hadn't
been used since the war,

and there were literally
just closed off rooms.

It was a colossal amount
of work.

Billie: Come on, Mitchell,
but your back into it.

And it's hard physical work
especially with the thick walls.

A lot of drilling,
a lot of swearing.

Dick, voice-over: They're now
looking at extra ways
to bring in income.

Ben: 23.

Dick, voice-over: They've
converted their wine press
and their [indistinct]

into a dining space.

But their plans don't stop
at ground level.

They're creating an event space
in the ballroom upstairs

and a recording studio
on the top floor.

Billie: It's exciting because
the house really is reaching
all the potential

and all the ideas that we have,
they're actually now happening.

Oh, it's a long way
up those stairs.

Hi, guys.

Ben: Oh, Billie,
you're a hero.

Billie: I've been waiting for
you to come down to lunch,

but clearly you can't get away.

Ben: Thank you.
I'll come and take those.

Billie: How's it going?
Ben: Uh, really good.

Finished the plaster board.

Another hot day,
isn't it?

Ben: Yeah, just a little bit
of flex, and that's perfect.

Billie: You know we should have
done this in winter, don't you?

Ben: Yeah, I know.

Dick, voice-over: They hope to
tempt fellow musicians to France

to record at the studio,

but there's one major concern.

Billie: The whole project
will be in jeopardy

if we haven't done
the soundproofing right.

Ben: It is possible to spend
thousands of pounds

and a lot of time and effort
building a studio,

and actually instead of
stopping the sound,

you resonate the sound,
and you're actually
making it louder.

If it doesn't work,
it's a disaster.

If it does work,
we're in business.

Dick, voice-over:
Having had a career
as a military communicator,

I understand sound
and soundproofing.

Billie:
Hi! How are you doing?

Dick, voice-over:
So today I've come to check

if Ben and Billie's studio
passes muster.

Who are you expecting
to come here?

Ben: Well, we've got
some clients lined up,

some people we've worked with
in the past.

We want the whole studio
to be self-funding.

But we wanted a lovely
environment with lighting

and somewhere
we really wanted to be

because we've spent half
our lives in basement studios.

So we're going to put it on
the top floor.

Dick: The top floor.
Ben: The top floor.

We've doubled up
all the windows.

They're all quadruple glaze.

Dick: I can see it.
You took the easy option.

Ben: Easy option, yeah.

Dick, voice-over:
Ben spent around £16,000
soundproofing the studio,

so let's hope it's perfect.

Ben: Ok, so this is the noisier
of the two rooms.

This will be where the drum kit
is, where the percussionist is.

Dick: You are having to kill as
much as possible of your sound.

- Yeah.
- How are you stopping things
shaking, all the walls?

Ben: So suspended
on these rubber mounts, so...

Dick: So we see all the walls.
Ben: Everything.

Dick: This is all--
Ben: Yeah, all this,
all these walls.

The floor is suspended as well.

The original floor
is 100 mil below here.

Dick: Can you shorten that
destruction you see there?

Ben: Yes, yeah, come and look.

Ben:
I absolutely do want to look.

This is clever.

Ben: I'm so excited
that you're excited, Dick,

because I love this.

Dick: This is 21st century.

Ben: This is actually
plaster board.

So there's a layer
of plaster board

sitting
on original floor boards.

Dick: This moves.
Ben: Yeah.

What we're sitting on
is this fiberglass.

When you do put a load on here,
you've got the neoprene taking
up a bit of the loads,

and then you've got the rubber
taking up the loads,

so you're not transferring
any vibration.

[Thumps floor]
Dick: That even sounds dead.

You know, in my house,
it doesn't sound like that.

- No.
- That's very impressive, mate.

- Thank you.
- How's it performing?

Ben: Don't know. I set up the
bits of percussion last night,

but by the time I was finished,
it was 1:00 in the morning.

There's a few spaces
we're really interested in,

so our daughter's bedroom
is really important

because I want her
to be able to sleep,

and I want to be playing
basically.

That was one target.

The second target
is really the garden.

Dick: But it's quadruple glazed.
Ben: Yep, which is gonna help.

It's whether or not
what you hear is acceptable.

Dick: I've got
some walkie-talkies.

- Why not have a little play?
- Why not? Yeah.

Let's have a code.

Let's call it 5

where you're just sort
of building to accompany.

Ben: Sure, yeah.
Dick: 10 when you're
sort of going root-toot.

Ben: Yeah, yes, ok.

Dick:
This is for me to have a test.

I'm going to stand
over in that corner.

Let's see how much noise
you're making.

Ok.

109 decibels. 104, 105, 107.
It's well over 100 decibels.

Ben: Yeah?
That's some volume, isn't it?

Dick: Was that a 10?
Ben: Easy.

Dick, voice-over: 100 decibels
is as loud as a low-flying jet.

If Ben hasn't got
the soundproofing right,

he won't be able to run
this studio with B&B guests
staying at the same time,

and that will be a headache
for the business.

Another beautiful example
of 19th-century chateau
architecture

is Chateau de Dohem, which
former company director Wendy
bought for £600,000 in 2010.

Wendy: I never really intended
to buy a chateau.

It wasn't a long-term dream
or anything.

It really was,
as they say in France,

it's a coup de couer,
love at first sight.

On the top mark.

Dick, voice-over:
And when builder Marcus

came to work
on renovating the chateau

into a holiday let
a year later,

Wendy fell for him, too.

Marcus: We're spot on.

Wendy: I just realized
that he was lovely and kind,

and actually when we got
to the end of the project,

I didn't really want
to let him go.

Marcus: Huh.
Yeah, that's about it.

Dick, voice-over: The chateau
is under 30 miles from Calais,

but at the moment,
it doesn't earn enough to be
the couple's full-time business.

Wendy: Come on.
Marcus: Ok, lift up the carpet.

Wendy: Ha ha!

Dick, voice-over:
So they split their time
between here and jobs in Kent.

Wendy: Sometimes you feel like
you're a bit of elastic

going backwards and forwards
across the channel.

Marcus:
There is no plans of a change

until this place is capable
of making enough of a living

to support the pair of us,

but at the moment,
it doesn't.

It just about supports
its own running costs,
and that's about it.

Dick, voice-over: This year
they're launching a new venture

to hopefully bring in
enough money to move
full time to France,

all inspired
by a recent milestone.

Wendy: When we got married,
it made me realize

how much money there is
to be spent on a wedding.

Marcus: And we decided
let's turn this place into
a wedding venue, let's do it.

Wendy:
Where do you want me to go?

Marcus: Hold the silly end
on the bottom of the wood.

Wendy: To the bottom
of the wood.

Marcus: All right, ok.

Dick, voice-over: So far,
they've spent £12,000

converting the barn
into a wedding venue.

The bride and groom will enter
through the gothic church door,

walk down the aisle, and then
we've got a step up there,

and it will all be
oak floor boarded,

and then I'm going to fairy
light it all the way up
around the beams,

so evening is going to look
magical.

Dick, voice-over:
While that's being finished,

they're also launching
a hen party business

to generate more
much-needed income.

Wendy: It's pretty inclusive.

All your food, drinks,
and you've got to make
cocktails.

Marcus: Yeah,
I'm chief bar man.

Wendy: Sex on the beach.
Marcus: Yeah.

Right, and do you reckon you
could fiddle this into there?

Wendy: I could.
Marcus: There is a lot at stake.

Wendy: We've put all our faith
into the barn.

If we don't make a success
of the hen parties
and the wedding,

then we've basically wasted
all our money.

Well, we want some beers in,
and then we really need
to get these chilling.

Dick, voice-over: This weekend
Wendy and Marcus are hosting

their first paid hen party

with the guests due
in just two hours time.

All right, you won't miss them.

I think they're all dressed up
in stripey tops and berets.

Ha ha!

Ok, thank you. Bye, bye.

I have found a lovely man
called Alan

who has a party bus,

so we thought,
do you know what?

Let's just get
this party started
right from the beginning.

Let's party bus them here.

Dick, voice-over: With 11 hens
to be fed, watered, and pampered

over the next two days,

Wendy's sister, Belinda,
and her fiance, Spencer,

have popped over the channel
to lend a hand.

Wendy: What do you think?
Belinda: That's quite nice. Mmm.

Wendy: The hens will arrive
on the party bus,

and we'll meet and greet them
with a glass of fizzy,

and then we're going to give
them a little guided tour
of the chateau,

and then we'll watch them fight
over who gets which bedroom.

Ha ha!

Ha ha ha!

Wendy:
There it is. I've got it.

I've got it, right.

So if you'll give me
a couple of those...

Belinda: Whoops!

What?

Wendy: What's happened to
the parsley and the mint?

Belinda: Um...
Wendy: No.

- Mint.
- No.

I've left it in the kitchen?

Belinda: Have you? Ha ha!

Wendy: I can't believe
I've left it

on the kitchen sink
in Whitstable.

Belinda:
Oh! No, it's not there.

Wendy: You can't have garlic
mushrooms without parsley.

Tell Marcus I need him
to go on a mission.

Belinda: Wendy's left the
parsley on the kitchen table
in Whitstable.

So we need--

Marcus: I'm not going
back there for it.

Wendy: It's really important.
As soon as you can, please.

I can't go.
Marcus: Ok.

Wendy: But I can't believe
I've left it.

Marcus: Hello. Game on.
All right. Make me a list.

Wendy: Please don't come back
without parsley.

Dick, voice-over:
I just hope for Marcus' sake
he does what he's told.

This is the incredible
12th-century Chateau de Lucia.

Set in over 1,000 acres,

it's now being renovated
by British designer Nicole

and Stephan, an architect
from Belgium.

Nicole: I think we just feel
really lucky

that we found out
about this place

and we have this opportunity.

Dick, voice-over:
Located in Saint-Emillion
northern France,

the medieval part of the chateau

has been designated
a national historic monument,

a bit like a grade-one
listed building back home.

Stephan: On the outside,
you have everything:

the moat, the crypt, the keep,
the chapel,

even a dungeon where Joan of Arc
was imprisoned.

Dick, voice-over: Nicole
and Stephan are converting
the main part of the chateau

which was most recently
a school,

into holiday homes

and are hoping to have the first
ready by the end of the summer.

Nicole: Bringing the partition
back to about here.

This is really nice
having that symmetry.

Dick, voice-over:
But that's on hold now

because in two weeks, they're
opening up the historic ruins
and grounds to the public.

Nicole: [Speaking French]

It's a bit like open house day.

Some private properties
open their doors to the public,

and that's what
we plan on doing.

Dick, voice-over: The chateau
will be one of 17,000 properties
across France

open to the public,

and Stephan has already done
some preparation.

Nicole: This has changed a lot,
huge amount of clearing.

It's great.

From here,
it was completely overgrown.

You couldn't actually
get through the gate before.

Stephan: It was impossible.

And look at this. Wow.

You can actually see
the steps now.

Dick, voice-over:
As a paid event,

it will bring in extra revenue,

and they hope the medieval
theme day they're planning

will pull in the crowds.

Stephan: There are so many
people getting involved here,

like knights, we have costumed
ladies who are going to dance.

We have swords and a big table
and lots of nice stuff actually.

So we want to be able
to open the gates again

and then to invite
lots of people inside

to experience the castle.

Nicole:
It's an important event.

It's quite fun seeing how it's
all gradually coming together.

Dick, voice-over: Today Stephan
is tackling the trees
around the castle keep

so that visitors will be able
to see it more clearly.

Stephan: So here we are
on top of the mount

with the keep next to us,
30 meters high,

and the mount, I think,
another 20 meters high.

So we're going to cut away
the younger trees

and also the bushes.

We're going to try to make sure
that there's no trees falling

towards the old ruined part
over there.

This is the first time that
I'm really working on slopes,

so I'll be a bit careful.

Otherwise, don't want to end up
in the hospital because of this.

[Chainsaw running]

Dick, voice-over: You need
to know what you're doing.

There are courses
in using a chainsaw,

or this is a job
for a professional.

And if you're going to do it
yourself,

you need to be wearing
the correct protective gear.

Stephan: Whew!
That was a tricky one.

Dick, voice-over: Stephan
doesn't have the experience.

One of the trees has fallen
the wrong way onto the ruins.

It could have been
much more serious.

Stephan: It really scared
the hell out of me.

I mean, even a small tree
like that,

you don't want to be below it.

Whew!

Dick, voice-over: Even small
trees weigh hundreds of kilos.

But eventually the keep
is revealed in all its glory.

Stephan: Well, I'm just happy
this is over. I'm really happy.

Dick, voice-over:
But there's no respite.

Stephan has still got
those knights to round up
for their medieval day.

Around 250 miles southwest,
I've come to Chateau
La Grande Maison

to cast an engineer's ear
over Ben's new music studio.

All right, Ben,
are you ready?

Ok, Dick, yeah, good to go.

Dick, voice-over:
If the soundproofing fails

and their other guests
are disturbed,

Ben and Billie won't be able
to run the studio and B&B
at the same time.

Ben's put a lot, a lot of work
into that studio.

It's phenomenal.

And the whole thing
being suspended

to try and stop the noise from
coming out is very important,

but he's got a big, big
challenge ahead of him

because he's literally there.

Dick, voice-over: We're starting
our sound check with some
medium volume drums.

Give me a warp factor 5 melody.
Cheers.

Ben, over walkie-talkie:
Ok, warp factor 5 coming up.

Ok.

[Silence]

Start anytime you want, Ben.

I did start.
Could you hear anything?

Dick:
There's a dog barking,

and I think I heard a little bit
of a car going past
on the main road.

Dick, over walkie-talkie:
You passed the 5 test
on that one, matey.

Ben: I'm very, very relieved.

Ok, at least I can play congas
all night long, then.

Congas?

Ben, over walkie-talkie:
Let me try sort of a medium kit,

sort of a 10 on the kit.

Dick: Yeah, go for 10.

[Faint drumming]

Dick:
I can actually detect that.

Ben, over walkie-talkie:
How was that, Dick?

Dick: Right.
I got a little bit there.

I got a little tiny bit there.

I'm just thinking,
you have the ballroom

underneath
your recording studio.

The door's open there,

and I'm just wondering
when you were actually up at 10

whether or not the open door
had an effect on
what's coming out.

Ben: Yeah, I think you're right.
I'll go and close it.

That's a good point, Dick.
I'll go and close it.

Sound is a long wave.

Which means when I speak,
my vocal cords send waves
towards your ears

and make your eardrums vibrate.

Up in the room, he's giving it
a womp and making
everything vibrate.

What we're trying to do
is stop the vibrations
getting out

by making it stay inside
a slightly shaky building.

That's why he's got it
suspended.

And with a bit of luck,

if anything sort of shakes its
way out to the ballroom below,

shut the windows,
you may not be able to hear it.

Ben: Ok, yes,
that's a very good point.

I'll shut these.

Dick, voice-over:
It's the moment of truth.

Right, give me 10.

Ben, over walkie-talkie:
Here we go.

[Silence]

That was a 10.

Put is this way,
if I was sitting down here,

that would not get in the way of
me having a very nice cocktail
in the evening.

You don't know the relief
up here.

I tell you,
that is fantastic news.

Dick, voice-over: Before we get
too carried away,

next door in the main house,
there's one last thing to check.

Dick:
Let's go in and see.

Dick, voice-over:
It's crucial dad's drums

don't invade
Ella's bedroom.

Ben: Ok, a bit of drums.

[Silence]

- Can't hear at all.
- Brilliant.

That is brilliant.
Oh, my gosh.

- Turn it down!
Turn it down, please!

You're driving us batty
down here.

Am I deafening down there?

Honestly, we just were quiet
and could only hear the clock
ticking in here.

That's the result, mate.
Well done, you, well done.

I'm coming up now.

What a relief.

Billie, over walkie-talkie:
Well done!

Ben: Thanks, my love!

Dick: You've broken
the back of this.

Ben: Yeah, absolutely, yeah.

Dick: Right,
as far as I'm concerned,

you've proven to me that
there's no sound escaping.

Ben: Right.

Thanks for all your advice,
Dick, it's been brilliant.

Dick: Good to see you.

Dick, voice-over: Installing
state-of-the-art
sound insulation

within centuries old walls
was a serious challenge,

and I'm delighted for Ben.

Ben: Massive relief.

I feel that I've been under
a sort of pressure and tension

for 11 months,
and today it's worked out.

Fantastic.

So it will be nice
to get some clients in
and get some money in.

Wendy: You can't have garlic
mushrooms without parsley.

I won't be happy.

Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau de Dohem,

Wendy is hosting
her first paid hen do,

and with the hens
on their way...

Wendy: We've got dried parsley.
It's not the same.

Dick, voice-over: They're
one vital ingredient down.

Wendy: In situations like this,
Marcus is quite a hero really.

He will do it
because he loves me. Ha!

Belinda: Too right.

Wendy: And then we'll put
the parsley in at the end.

Belinda:
If they bring parsley.

I'm not panicking. I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah.

You're doing apples, yes.
You're doing apples.

Hello! Hello! Ha ha!

You've just arrived in front?

They're early.

Ha ha! Oh! Ha ha!

Oh, the hens are here!

Oh, they're loving it!

Oh! Kisses! Bye!

Ha ha!

Cor.

I think to say they're excited
is perhaps an understatement.

Dick, voice-over: It's less than
an hour till the hens arrive.

Belinda: Quarters?
Wendy: No, no.

Dick, voice-over:
But minus the parsley,

Wendy and Belinda
are cracking on.

Wendy: So, right.

Belinda: Do we want more butter
in here?

Do you want more garlic in it?

Wendy: So if I lift that up...

We really have to make it
a success

because if we can't make
this chateau make money,

we can't afford
to keep the chateau.

It's that simple.

I'm just going to get a little
knife and trim it up a bit.

Dick, voice-over:
With time running out,

Marcus and Spencer are finally
back from the supermarket.

Marcus: Well, you watch her
little face when she sees
the flat leaf parsley.

Ok, dark head heroes
have returned.

Wendy: Did you get parsley?
Marcus: Yes.

Both: [Cheering]

Marcus: We're heroes!

Wendy: Disaster averted.

Getting excited! Oh!

Belinda: It'll be fine!

Dick, voice-over: Moments later,
the party bus rolls up.

All: [Singing indistinctly]

Wendy: Oh, you can hear them!
Ha ha!

Woman: Oh, how exciting.

Wendy: There you are!

Dick, voice-over: First off
the buss is bride-to-be Yumi.

Wendy: Oh, hello!
Hello!

[Laughter, indistinct chatter]

Wendy: Come on in, girls,
follow me, follow me.

Marcus: And so it begins.

Wendy: So this is
the main bathroom.

You've got a nice big
walk-in shower there as well.

Ok.

[Laughter, indistinct chatter]

Wendy: It's going really,
really well.

They love the house. They said
the party bus was amazing.

And they had the karaoke
on there,

and they were giving it
the large.

Dick, voice-over:
As evening draws in,
it's time for a sundown.

[Indistinct chatter]

Yumi:
I'm very overwhelmed right now,

and it's just very special
to be here.

The chateau is everything
I've ever dreamed of and more.

It is literally stunning.

- Skinny dipping later?

- Do it! Do it!
- Oh, my god!

All: [Screaming]

Dick, voice-over:
The chateau's made a splash.

But with a whole weekend
of hen pampering ahead of them,

Wendy and Marcus can't afford
to put a foot wrong.

All: Yay!

Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau de Lucia,

it's the day before
European Heritage Day,

which will see
Stephan and Nicole

open the gates to the public
for the first time.

Stephan: The last day before
this major medieval event
which we are doing tomorrow,

and we've been working on it
for quite some time,

cleaning up the place,
doing a million things,

but still today we have
a few hundred things to do.

Hold the rope.

Yeah, that's better.

Nicole: [Speaking French]

It's an important event,

but I'll be quite glad
when it's done and dusted.

Dick, voice-over:
With the team hard at work,

Stephan's taking time out
for an important mission.

- [Speaking French]

Dick, voice-over:
The mayor of Lucia

has agreed to lend him
a very special local artifact

to display at the castle
tomorrow.

Stephan: Oh! That's a,
that's a big bad wolf.

And it's scary.

Look at the teeth.
My goodness.

Dick, voice-over:
The wolf is believed to be
one of the last caught

in the castle's
thousand-acre grounds.

Stephan: All right, nice.

Ah, 113 years old.

[Speaking French]

[Laughter]

All right. Oh...

I don't want it falling on me,
by the way.

Dick, voice-over:
Over a century later,

he's heading back home
to be guest of honor
at tomorrow's event.

Stephan: I think he's happy
to see some daylight.

Spencer: That's true.

Dick, voice-over:
Back at the chateau,

Stephan has the perfect spot in
mind for his new furry friend.

Stephan: Like this? Yeah.

Dick, voice-over: It's being
exhibited in the dungeon

where Joan of Arc is thought
to have spent her last days.

Stephan: Oh, cool that.
Ha ha.

This village, it's their castle,
and they really feel like that,

so it's important to get
this place opened up

and the people
can start enjoying it.

So I hope they'll be happy.

Dick, voice-over:
Well, Stephan, you'll find out

in less than 24 hours time.

Just over 30 miles north
at Chateau de Dohem,

Wendy and Marcus
have their hands full

with their first hen weekend.

Wendy: And...

Everything we need.

Dick, voice-over: It's the
morning after the hens arrived,

and Wendy's laying on
a day of pampering
followed by dinner.

Wendy: I've got all the right
stuff and lots of glitter,

and they just love
the glitter.

It'll be fine.

Can I just ask,
are you all up for massages?

All: Yeah.

What about nails?
Oh, thank you, girls.

That's lovely.

7 hens for nails,
and all hens for massage.

So it's going to be
a busy little treatment
room out there today,

and I can't really leave Belinda
on her own.

Belinda: Guide me to the paste.
Where did you put it?

Wendy: Left. Up a bit. Yeah.

Capable girl though she is,
I really need to come and help
in the kitchen.

Dick, voice-over: Wendy's forced
to call for back up.

Ah, hello! Vanessa!

[Speaking French]

Ok, see you soon.
Au revoir. A tout a l'heure!

Ha! Au revoir.

She's got another lady
that can come up around
lunch time,

so that really is quite good
for me.

It means I can come and help
Belinda in the kitchen

and the girls still get
all their nails done,
so that's great.

Dick, voice-over: Outside,
Wendy's husband Marcus

and partner in crime Spencer
are hard at work

on the other half of the plan
to bring in more income
to the chateau.

It's not just a barn.
It's a wedding barn.

Marcus: There's a new floor
going in here,

which is going to
lift everything up,

and I need to raise
this doorway up.

Tall people will be
bumping their head on that.

Wendy: Marcus!
Marcus: What?

Wendy: Are you trying to bash
that thing out?
Marcus: Yes.

Wendy: Oh! Oh, it's coming.
Yay! Go on! Yay!

Ha ha!

Marcus: Ta-da!

Wendy: Bonjour, Vanessa.
Vanessa: Bonjour.

Dick, voice-over: Vanessa,
the masseuse, has arrived.

But it seems there's been
a communication breakdown.

Wendy: What I understood was
that Vanessa was going to arrive
with another lady,

and actually it is Vanessa
that is after massage

going to do nails,
so time-wise, uh...

we probably are going
to be running over.

Dick, voice-over:
With hours of prep needed
for tonight's banquet,

Belinda has to start alone
while Wendy is on nail duties.

The girls aren't the only ones
working hard.

Marcus: Ok.
That's it!

That's our new door height.

Dick, voice-over:
But the work isn't over yet.

We've got a party
to go and serve for. Ha.

Wendy: Right.
It's all full on now.

Dick, voice-over:
There are just a few hours
until the dinner party,

and with prep barely started,
it's going to be close.

At Chateau la Grande Maison,

musicians Ben and Billie
have been working on
a new events wing,

including a studio
and ballroom performance space

to expand their business.

That's a result, mate.
Well done, you. Well done.

Dick, voice-over: Safe in
the knowledge their new studio
is probably soundproofed,

they've welcomed
their first musical booking.

a ukulele orchestra
from the U.K.

Billie: They're going to be
using the ballroom space
for the course,

and they're also going to put on
a little concert for us here.

- [Singing]

Dick, voice-over: The orchestra
is run by Sam Brown,

a singer who released a string
of singles in the eighties

and who's worked with Pink Floyd
and Spandau Ballet
amongst others.

Sam: I used to sing with Billie.

And I just thought it would be
a great place to bring
my ukulele chums.

Dick, voice-over: The orchestra
is not recording,

but their visit is a great
opportunity for Ben to show off
the studio to Sam.

Ben: Come in, Sam.
This is the library.

Sam: Oh, wow. Lovely.

Dick, voice-over:
Which will hopefully lead

to future bookings
through word of mouth.

Ben: I'll just show you
the control room.

- We've just got the desk up.
- Nice.

Ben: Built in 1973.

It was built for
Roger Whittaker.

- Oh, ok, yeah.
[Whistles]

Ben: If you whistle through it,
it sounds amazing.

And he used it for some gigs
in the seventies.

We've just finished
repairing it,

and this will be the first time
we've used it for 10 years,

but it's going to be
the heartbeat of the studio.

Sam: It's so important to have
a good desk to go through,

but I love it.

I think it's fantastic,
really lovely.

Dick, voice-over:
Right, on with the show.

Billie: This ballroom's going to
feel really empty without you,

so on that, a blues jam
I'd like to dedicate to you

as an "Empty Ballroom Blues."

All: [Laughter]

Billie: * I'm still here,
but the party's over *

* Got my coat slung
over my shoulder *

* But it's all over,
I've got the empty
ballroom blues *

All: [Vocalizing]

Billie: * Yeah *

All: [Cheering]

- "Empty Ballroom Blues,"
everyone.

Sam: I think everyone's
enjoyed themselves.

I think we'll be back.

Billie: Our dreams for
the chateau were to live
a really creative life,

enjoy the countryside
and nature.

Finally the house is now
reaching the potential
that we saw

when we first came.

Ben: The ballroom,
the recording studio,

they were the things
that were the dream.

Dick, voice-over: And they'll
hopefully Ben and Billie
more income, too.

Now they need to get
their pop-up restaurant opened

to make the events wing
fully pay its way.

At Chateau de Lucia,
it's European Heritage Day.

Stephan: [Speaking French]

Ha ha. In here.

Dick, voice-over: The chateau's
lain dormant for 4 years,

but today Stephan and Nicole
are opening the gates
to the local village.

Stephan: Ah!
How are you doing?

Dick, voice-over:
And it's all hands on deck

to create a scene resembling
the chateau's medieval heyday,

complete with axes, archery,
and men in frocks.

Nicole: This is an important day
to raise awareness

of the Chateau de Lucia

and that it's now going to be
a living property again.

Dick, voice-over: The first
villagers have arrived.

By charging a small entry fee,

Stephan and Nicole also hope
to bring in some extra funds.

Stephan: A steady stream
of people coming in now.

We never expected, like,
we're killing at the gates.

Nicole: This looks lovely,
doesn't it?

Yeah, I heard some swords
over there.

[Clang]

It's all happening.
It's great.

There's lots of people,
many more than were expected,

and it's really nice to see
the site full of people.

It kind of comes to life.

Stephan: It's kind of amazing
in the end

how we made the place
back come to life.

Nicole: It looks great.
It really does.

Dick, voice-over:
And it's not just sword fighting
that's drawing the crowds.

Man: People in the village
are very happy to be inside

and to discover
what's going on here.

[Speaking French]

Man: Ah...

[Speaking French]

Man: [Speaking French]

Dick, voice-over: Ah, a young
lady after my own heart.

And the village mayor is happy,
too.

Mayor: [Speaking French]

Nicole:
The mayor's really happy.
That's a good thing.

Generally...thumbs up.

You know, it's been a success,
which is great.

Amazing.
It offers potential.

It means that next year,
we can do the same thing,

and next year
we can go for 6,000 people.

Dick, voice-over: The day's been
a resounding success.

Now, though, on to the small
matter of those holiday homes.

All: Drink! Drink!
Drink! Drink!

Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau de Dohem,

the second night of
Marcus and Wendy's hen party

is well underway.

Wendy: Ah, ah!
Belinda: Sorry. Oh!

Dick, voice-over:
But having been stuck
doing nails all afternoon,

Wendy's now seriously behind
with her dinner prep.

Wendy: It's all full on now
because--

Belinda: We've got an hour
till we're serving?

Dick, voice-over:
Bride-to-be Yumi

is getting married in Mykonos,

so Wendy and Marcus are putting
on a Greek-themed banquet.

Wendy: Yes,
on the dining room table

rather than
coming in the kitchen

because they'll get in our way.

Dick, voice-over:
Marcus is on drinks duty.

Wendy: What you making?

Marcus: The girls have requested
a sex on the beach cocktail.

Wendy: Oh!

Marcus: I gave them a choice
of a cocktail,

and they said they'd like
sex on the beach.

Wendy: Ok. How come Marcus
got the best job?

Belinda: Well, he did have
the most difficult job earlier.

Wendy: Oh, he did have
the most difficult job earlier.

That's true.

Marcus: Mmm.
That is very nice that.

I did good work there.

The good news is the sex
on the beach is fantastic.

The bad news is
there's none left for the hens.

Oh, dear.

Dick, voice-over: With
the cocktails tried and tested,

Wendy has a mission for the boys
in the dining room.

Wendy:
So what you've got to do

is you've got to make these
look like palm trees.

Marcus: Oh, piece of cake.

Wendy: And you melange them
so they go in here.

Marcus: Oh, right.

I'm like a duck out of water
here.

Wendy: Now I'm going
to come back in 5 minutes

and inspect what you've done.

Marcus: Ok.

Belinda: Almost ready.

Wendy: I want to do my drizzle
for the [indistinct].

Dick, voice-over: And Wendy
has just one more trick up her
sleeve to make things perfect.

Marcus:
Is that my costume? Ha!

Wendy: Marcus,
do you think that looks right?

Marcus: Yeah.
Wendy: Ok.

Marcus: Very Roman goddess.
Wendy: Ok, that's lovely.

Marcus: Why is it a Greek night
and we've got a Roman tunic?

Wendy: Well, Greek, Roman, you
know, it's all the same to me.

Right.
So let's get these out.

Marcus: It's a dress!
You've bought me a dress!

- No, it's a tunic.
- I'm wearing a dress!

Come on! We can't keep these
girls waiting too much longer.

Dick, voice-over: While
the chaps make themselves
look fabulous...

- Oh, my god!
- Amazing!

- Oh, my god!

Wow!

Yumi: Wow.
This is so lovely.

Dick, voice-over:
The dining room is a big hit.

Yumi:
Oh, look at the votives!

Woman:
Is this marvelous, ladies?

All: [Cheering]

[Indistinct chatter,
laughter]

[Squealing and yelling]

Wendy: Marcus?
Marcus: Hello?

Wendy: Spence?
Spence: Yeah?

Wendy: Can you come out?

Belinda: Ha ha!

Wendy: It's really short.
Belinda: Ha ha!

Wendy: I can't bear it.
I think it's amazing.

Spencer: Where's our crowns?

Belinda: Here.

Marcus: I told you
we had a crown.

I wasn't joking.
We have two crowns.

Ah, I've lost a leaf.

Wendy: Oh, yes.
Beautiful!

I'm just kind of laughing
at us as well.

Spencer: Marcus, you want
to take your socks off?

Wendy: Oh, my...

[Laughter]

Belinda: Don't bend over.

Wendy: Ladies mingling?

All: [Cheering]

Dick, voice-over: The costumes
have gone down a treat.

Let's hope it's the same story
with the food.

Wendy: Here we go.

Yumi:
I just want to say thank you.

This was very, very special
to me, and I really mean that.

It was beautiful.

Wendy:
Oh, thank you so much.

All: Cheers!

Woo!

- Hello.
- Hello.

- My centurion.
- Hello, goddess.

- Ha ha!
- Ha ha!

[Cheering, yelling,
and singing]

Marcus: I think it's gone
very, very well,

been a roaring success.

- I think the girls
have had the most wonderful day.

I was really, really happy

with how beautiful
the dining room looked,

and I think that the girls
were really wowed

when they walked in.

It will mean that we can have

a fantastic, live-the-dream
lifestyle out here

without any financial worries,
and that's it.

Happy ever after.

Dick, voice-over:
Well done.

You hen do business
is off to a great start.

Now get that wedding barn
finished

and hopefully you'll be able
to make that full-time move
to France soon.

- Can you keep that on
for later?
- Yes.

- I'm very proud of you,
by the way, very proud of you.

- Thank you.

Dick, voice-over:
Next time...

Wendy: Bonjour!

Dick, voice-over:
Wendy and Marcus

lead a bride and groom
up the aisle.

Marcus: Ta-da!

Dick, voice-over: But some areas
are left to the imagination.

Wendy:
If she can't say it,

I'm just going to have
to force her to say it.

Dick, voice-over: Ben and Billie
are pushed to breaking point...

[Crack]

Billie: Oh, that is
a proper disaster.

Dick, voice-over:
...as they prepare for their
first pop-up dinner event.

Billie: That's how you'll
find out what the menu is
for the evening.

Dick, voice-over: And Nicole
and Stephan are split on their
vision for the gate house.

Stephan:
We need to rethink this room.

Nicole: Ok. Ha.
That's, oh...