Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 14 - Episode #2.14 - full transcript

I'm Dick Strawbridge,
and along with my wife Angel

and our two children,

we've lived in this
magnificent chateau in France

for the last four years.

Angel: You can open your eyes.

Dick: It's not just our home...

* Ta-da *

but a business.

Angel: There we go.
Boy: Thank you very much.

Dick, voice-over: And it turns
out we're not the only ones

who want a chateau to call home.



Woman: Wow!
Different woman: My gosh.

Different woman: Oh, heaven.

Dick: Now Angel and I are back
guiding more daring Brits

on their journey.

This work is interesting,
isn't it?

Angel: A bit of copper bling.

Woman: I can't believe it.

Dick: We'll work with some
familiar faces.

-Cheers, baby.
-Cheers.

Dick: Good to see you.
Woman: Welcome...

Dick, voice-over: and meet a new
wave of chateau-loving Brits...

Woman: * Ta-da *

Angel: This is great. This is
where the craziness is.

Dick: Look at that.
Man: Oh, man! I love it.



Dick: ...as they battle to
renovate their homes...

Woman: Aah!

Dick: and make them work
as businesses.

Woman: Oh! There it goes.

Dick, voice-over:
There'll be triumphs...

Dick: Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow.

Dick, voice-over: and setbacks.

Woman: Seriously. I was really
close to a breakdown.

Man: Whoa.

Dick: But however hard
the going gets...

for these plucky Brits, their
homes really are their castles.

[Cheering]

Dick: Today...

Woman: They're not gonna notice
there's not a door

until they go to bed.

Dick: one couple fall behind
with renovations.

Man: I don't think that we're
ready to host

a Mad Hatter's tea party let
alone a selection of guests,

but, anyway, there we are.

Dick: So can they turn it
around?

Woman: We can't wait until
it's finished.

You know, you just
have to do it.

Dick: Angel shows one family
how to be resourceful...

Angel: Who's gonna be foraging?

Daughter:
That's brambles, Mum.

Mother: You don't pay attention
to the detail.

Dick: But can they work as
a team...

Woman: Cafetiere time.
We're out of coffee.

Dick: for their big event
back home?

Daughter: Dad only filled it up
halfway.

Mother: Oh, what'd he do
that for?

Daughter: Well, it's Dad,
isn't it?

Dick: And another couple have
to dig deep...

Man: Oh, my word.
Woman: What? What? What? What?

Man: Just horrible!

Dick: to get to grips with
water troubles.

Woman: Aah! Aah!

Dick: More of us Brits are
taking on the challenge

of owning a French chateau.

Dick: Got the rope, team?
Angel: Yup.

Dick: Like Angel and I, they're
doing up buildings

and setting up in business.

This is why we work as a team.

Angela makes it happen,

and I just have to say,
"Yes, darling."

Dick: Among us band of expats
are Emma and Paul,

who bought Chateau de Montvason
in Normandy two years ago.

Dick: They started a huge task
of upgrading

the 30 dilapidated rooms...

Emma: Whoo!

Dick, voice-over: including
some unusual tiles.

Dick: You're happy with that.
Paul: Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Really happy.

Dick: So now they have
an art deco bathroom

and, with Emma's creative input,

superb salons
and stylish bedrooms.

Emma: I am really, really happy
at how this has turned out.

Dick: All that has eaten
into their savings.

Paul: We decided to start
a B&B to get some revenue in.

So far, revenue is starting
to trickle in.

And that's what's going to fund
the restoration.

Emma: Come on in.

Dick: They've already begun
welcoming guests.

Emma: So this is our favorite
salon.

And it's been 1 1/2 years of
hard slog.

Dick: And now they're embarking
on a new venture

to bring in some extra cash.

Emma: Part of our ethos is to
restore this beautiful building

and have events like swing
events and artists' retreats,

meditation retreats.

Because it's just
the perfect setting.

So it's a lovely way to get
more income

and share this beautiful
place.

Dick: Their first artists'
retreat will be led by

fashion lecturer Kate.

Emma: Wow! Look at this.

Dick: The students will draw
a life model posing in clothes

reflecting
the chateau's history.

The final pose will involve
the model floating in the lake

at the bottom of the garden.

Paul: We're going to chuck
a young lady

in the watery end of the lake,
and they're going to do

some special drawing.

So we're trying our best to get
the lake cleared out.

Dick: The lake has
almost dried out

because a source of water,
a nearby well,

is nearly empty.

Paul: Let's see if I can get
this down.

What the plan is today is to
get down the well

to get the lake refed by
the well.

Emma: Tuck yourself in, love.

Dick: Paul plans to pump water
out of the well

to draw more from below ground
and, hopefully, fill the lake.

Paul: The more
we're drawing the well,

the faster the water comes.

That should increase
the pressure,

and the water should rise.

We need to get the pump on,

empty the well out, and then I
can get back down there

and start taking stuff out.

Emma: You're gonna have to
switch it all back on

and stuff, don't you?
Paul: Yeah.

Emma: Cool, cool.

Oh, yeah.
That goes straight away.

Dick: Fixing the well has
additional benefits, too.

Emma: Not only can we keep
the lake level filled up,

but we can actually supply
water to the house.

Dick: And that could save
the couple around £1,300 a year

in water bills.

Paul: I need to get down there
while it's still pumping, OK?

Because that's filling up
really quick.

OK. Oh, my word. OK.

Emma: What? What? What? What?

Paul: Just horrible!

There's a lot, a lot of sediment
in here.

I mean, like, a lot.

I mean, this pump's doing OK,
but the water's coming in here

at a really fast rate
of maximum, you know?

Dick: The pump's dealing with
a lot of sediment

coming through the pipe.

Emma: You have to keep making
the pump stop

to get all the sediment out.

Dick: Emma decides to flush
the pump with water

while it's running.

Emma: Aah! Aah!

Dick: Oh, Emma, the glamor of
the chateau owner's life.

Paul: You look a bit wet.

I think that you might need to
get changed, darling.

Emma: Don't touch me. Ha ha!

Paul: I'm very sympathetic to
Emma's watering down today.

Emma: I am so wet.

Paul: However, I think it's
about time...

Emma: For some cocoa, please.
Paul: Cocoa.

We'll have cocoa, I think.
Emma: And then wine.

Paul: And perhaps a few
glasses of vino.

Emma: Or maybe wine
and then cocoa.

Paul: Wine and cocoa.

Dick: With the system set up
to refill the lake,

Emma and Paul are now on track
to make the finale

of their art retreat weekend
a reality.

This is 17th-century chateau
Domaine de la Salle,

which Brit Johnno and his
wife Mariam bought

two years ago for £315,000.

Mariam: It seems to be in
a world of its own.

and it's so peaceful.

Dick: Sitting
on 52 acres of land,

it's 70 miles north of
Bordeaux,

on the west coast of France.

It has 12 bedrooms, two gites,
and its own forest.

Johnno: We did fall in love
with it, I have to say.

Dick: Having traveled the world,
Mariam and Johnno have decided

to settle down

with their 16-year-old son Monty
and renovate the chateau

to run as a B&B.

Mariam: When we bought
the place, I thought I'd be

a lady of the manor or
something.

And now I realize I'm going to
be shopping, cleaning, cooking,

making beds.

I'm going to be a cleaning lady.
Ha ha!

Dick: Mariam has already booked
in guests for a sewing weekend.

Mariam: I'm surprised at how
much still needs to be done.

We always think we've taken on
too much.

Johnno: Yeah, but we normally
manage to get through it.

Mariam: I rather like blindly
charging ahead

and just making sure
it does happen.

Dick: But the building work
is well behind schedule,

and the guests are due tomorrow.

Johnno: Mariam, being her nutty
herself,

who arranged this event without
even thinking about

whether anything might be ready
or not.

I don't think that we're
ready to host

a Mad Hatter's tea party
let alone a selection of guests,

but, anyway, there we are.

Are you sure that you--
Mariam: Ready?

Johnno: Don't move backwards
because the carpet's there.

Don't you back in.

Mariam: I can't, actually.
My foot's caught in carpet.

Uh!

Of course this one's
too close.

This room's the most important
room to get ready

because it's the only room
we've got

to actually have guests,

sit around, have dinner,
do anything at all.

Dick: The attic needs to be
turned into a sewing workshop,

and four bedrooms have to be
finished.

And that includes building
the beds.

Mariam: Could you drag that
and dump it

into that room over there?

But I'm going to put these
things in there as well.

Ooh. Hup.

Johnno: My God.
25 miles of burgundy zip.

Mariam: Ha ha!

Honestly, I just couldn't throw
it in the bin.

I have slightly given up
worrying about this weekend

because I've done everything
I can.

Out the window. Got no bin.

Um, so it is what it is.

I've contacted the ladies
who's coming,

and I've said, "We are, in fact,
not really ready."

They'd like to come anyway.

I think the thing that stresses
me is all the bits

I can't control.

You know, like, the carpenter
just sees me,

and he turns around
and runs away.

So we've come to an agreement.

I can't have the door for
the room that

someone's going to sleep in.

He said he's going to bring
a bit of cardboard or plywood

or something,
stick some hinges on it

just so that that person doesn't
feel completely out in the open.

Johnno: How are things going
with the curtain making?

[Mariam sighs]

Mariam: I forgot about it.
It's here.

I just got distracted slightly.
Johnno: Mm-hmm.

Mariam: Do you want to know
everything we've got to do

before tomorrow before
they arrive?

Johnno: Not especially, but
you're going to tell me anyway.

[Mariam chuckling]

Johnno: I'll do the first thing
on the list,

and then I'll come back and ask
you again

because I can't remember--
Mariam: Thank you.

Johnno: Yes, milady.
Mariam: Ha ha! Thank you.

Because I won't remember.

Dick: It's important that

this trial run for their
business succeeds.

[Mariam speaking
foreign language]

Dick: Considering
the clock's ticking,

they're remarkably calm.

I just hope they can get
everything ready.

Mariam: God. That's heavy.

Mariam, voice-over: I'm quite
excited about showing

these ladies the chateau
provided we get to

the stage I'm hoping to get to,
which will be very basic

and just the beginning anyway.

Dick: Everybody's
very welcome to shout

a Dellamotte song.

Dick, voice-over: Angel and I
have built up

a successful business holding
weddings at our chateau.

[Cheering]

And today fellow chateau owners,

mama and daughter
Karen and Abbie,

have traveled north from
their home, Chateau de Doux,

for a chat with Angel.

Angel: * Hello *

Ha ha! Welcome on this very,
very, very glorious, fresh day.

Dick: They're hoping she can
give them tips

on how to create something
unique

for their own
wedding business...

Angel: Come in.
Karen: Wow.

Dick: and increase their profit
margin.

Karen: Look at that staircase!
Angel: Thank you.

Let's come in.

Angel: How does everything
work creatively?

Abbie: The bride and groom
tend to have

their own themes and ideas.

So they bring in their stuff
and sort of...

add their touch.
Karen: So we set the tables...

and they sort of dress it
as they will.

And we've got a florist that
comes in.

Angel: Right. OK.
And what's the florist like?

Abbie: Really good.

Everyone's been really happy
with her work.

But now the problem is, because
she's three hours away from us--

Angel: OK.
Abbie: there's a minimum spend.

So people that don't want to
spend--I don't know--

1,500 on flowers.
Angel: 1,500 is quite steep.

I mean, it may be something
that you look into getting into

a little bit, because you've got
lots of foraging capability.

Abbie: Yes.
Karen: Hmm.

Angel: That is a lovely
thing to do.

And it could be an area that
you make

a little bit extra
pocket money in.

Abbie: Very true.

Angel: Let's go and get creative

and find a way to increase your
revenues easily

and have some fun.

Karen: Good idea. Good idea.
Abbie: Sounds great.

Dick: Angel's going to show
Abbie and Karen how to forage

for foliage and flowers to make
something special

for a wedding party,
and all for free.

Angel: Who's going
to be doing this?

Abbie: Good question.

Karen: Well, you're the business
operative, aren't you?

I'm the skivvy.

Angel: Here we go.
Some secateurs.

I'll take the other pair.

We can get some evergreens,
we can get some ivy,

and anything else that may be
a little bit better,

that things look great, so...

all right. Come on.
Let's see what we can get.

Dick: At Chateau de Montvason,
it's now the first day

of the artists' retreat.

And six students have arrived.

But there's a problem.

The life model is
no longer available.

So Emma has volunteered to step
into the role.

Emma:
* Put your left leg in... *

Dick: She'll be dressed
in costumes

reflecting the chateau's past.

Emma: * You shake it all about *

Dick: That means Paul's taking
on the kitchen duties.

Emma: So what do you think? This
is how you want me to, like--

Paul: Ah, that's really--
you know, it's doing it.

Emma: Does my bum look big
in this?

Paul: No, darling, it doesn't.
Emma: That's the right answer.

[Laughter]

Dick: Tactful he may be,
but Paul's no chef.

Paul: I'm very, very good at
flambeing sausages

on the barbecue.

Really good at that.

So expect burnt sausages
and burnt burgers

and burnt kebabs.

Fantastic.

Dick: Surely he's safe making
tea and coffee.

Paul: Perfect.

Dick: While Emma slides
effortlessly

into her modeling role...

Kate: Look for the strong
lines in the body.

Look for the key shapes.

Dick: Paul's being artistic
in the kitchen.

Paul: Got to make
pretty things.

I've discovered that
the plates very slidy,

and the biscuits seem to
slide down it.

Ha ha!

See? This sort of thing is
Emma's forte, not mine.

Being able to do retreats and
things, you know, whether it be

artists', yoga, or anything
like that is

the way forward for us.

Hopefully, we'll kind of get
a bit of a name for ourselves

through these sorts of events,

and that would be really good.

Instructor: And make it small.

Dick: From a business point
of view, it makes good sense

to be able to do
this sort of thing,

but the bed and breakfast
does actually pay the bills.

I'm quite pleased with that.

Kate: Lots of shape,
lots of pattern.

Paul: I am feeling
the pressure today.

I've taken up the role of
looking after people

and making sure everybody's fed
and watered.

After today,
I really appreciate it.

It has been an eye-opener.

I might be chipping away at
pieces of wood

or putting some plaster on
the walls,

but this is just as important.

Dick: So maybe Emma will see
more of Paul in the kitchen.

Emma: Did you enjoy doing it?
Paul: No.

Emma: Why?
Paul: It's just like--[exhales]

Emma: You prefer DIY?
Paul: I prefer DIY.

But I knew that I was gonna have
to load the dishwasher up.

Emma: And?

Paul: I can't stand loading
the dishwasher up. I hate it.

Emma: Oh, my goodness me.

He's been doing really well,
actually.

I think sometimes it's good to
switch the roles round.

So, yeah, it's been nice for me
to have a break from that,

and I think it's good for Paul
to do different things.

Dick: At the end of day one,
it's time to take stock.

Student: When we came, we were
so impressed

and so inspired by the place,
by the costumes we saw.

It really helped us.

Different student: You can feel
the atmosphere

of that period of time.

Emma and Paul, they are doing
an incredible thing

because they keep all this
history inside the chateau.

Emma: First day's gone
really well.

I'm really, really pleased
with that.

Paul: What I've actually learned
today is

I need to know timings for
breakfast,

I need to know timings for tea,

and I need to know timings
for lunch.

Otherwise it just won't run
properly.

Emma: I'm never wearing
a corset again.

Don't get any ideas.
Paul: Agh. Well, you know.

At Chateau Domaine de la Salle,
Mariam and Johnno are

way behind schedule with
preparations

for their first B&B guests, who
are coming for a sewing weekend

that starts tomorrow.

Mariam: Hi.

Dick: Seamstress Erica,
who'll be running the weekend,

has just arrived from the UK.

Mariam: Welcome.
Erica: Thank you.

It's really not at the stage
I thought it might be.

So just see it
as a building site

because you will see it is
a building site.

So this is the official
entrance hall.

Erica: Beautiful.

Mariam: Which I'm working on
a mural.

I'm a bit behind just like
everybody else.

Dick: With Mariam giving Erica
the tour, Johnno's

getting a room furnished

so the guests have somewhere
to sit and eat.

Johnno: This piece of furniture
is a large two-parts cabinet,

which Mariam is possibly going
to put in the dining room.

She has never actually seen it
properly before

because I purchased it all by
myself last year.

And she'd already gone home.

I stepped out of line and did
something by myself.

Dick: Risky, Johnno.
[Johnno chuckles]

Mariam: The stairs are all full
of builder's dust.

I'm hoping to mop them.

So this is your room here.
Erica: Oh, it's beautiful.

Oh, my goodness.

Dick: But they still have three
other guest bedrooms to furnish.

Johnno: We have to try
and maneuver the furniture

through the car park.

All the workmen have appeared,

and we have a full house,
I think.

Slightly worried about
this mirror.

But I've just seen my hair.
It looks a right mess. Ha ha!

It's two parts, yeah.

Dick: French brocantes are full
of great pieces of old furniture

at bargain prices, but they do
require a bit of muscle to move.

Johnno: Hang on. I haven't got
it very well. Hang on. Hang on.

Oop. Got it?
Man: Yeah.

We need to go lower.
Johnno: OK. Thank you.

Well spotted.

Dick: The attic is going to be
the sewing workshop room.

It's almost ready.

Mariam: So machines.
Erica: This is stunning.

Ooh, I need
an extension cable.

Man: Heavy enough?
Johnno: Yeah.

Oh, that's better.

Oh, there's a hole that's just
opened up in the wall of cars,

which is rather convenient.

If it'll stand up by itself.
Got it?

Man: Yeah. Whew.

Mariam: So these are
the other rooms.

I haven't done any of them yet.

Erica: They're gonna love it,
aren't they?

Mariam: I don't know. I can just
see all the problems.

I can't see the nice bits
anymore.

Erica: You've probably just been
staring at it too long.

Outside, the second part of
the heavy cabinet

is now being moved into
the chateau.

Johnno: The doors are on
the right, aren't they? Yes?

Man: What?

Johnno: Are the doors
on the right?

Man: Your left.
Johnno: Oh, my left. Oh, yes.

OK. So I'm going to go here.
Mind the carpets.

Dick: And it's time for
Mariam to take a look.

Mariam: This is very nice,
you know,

even though you chose it
on your own.

Johnno: I did.
Mariam: No, it's really nice.

Johnno: You seem surprised.
Mariam: No.

But when it was in the barn,
you couldn't really see

what it was.

Dick: That's great, but Johnno
still needs to clean it

and get it into place
in the dining room.

Mariam: Can I go by, please?

Dick: Mariam's already on to
the next problem,

the downstairs guest sink.

It's isn't ready yet for
the towels she printed

at our chateau with Angel.

Mariam: And you know that
they're putting up the sink,

and they were going to tile it
especially for the weekend.

Actually, he can't
close the hole now,

which means that we can't put
the tiles.

It was all meant to be ready
because that's the sink

for washing your hands now

from the loo,
which doesn't have a sink.

For me, it's, Grr!
Johnno: Very important. OK.

Mariam: It's not. It's just that
when you kind of try

to keep on top of everything.

Dick: With time ticking on,
taps to install,

bedrooms to finish before
the guests arrive,

Mariam and Johnno really are
cutting it fine.

Mariam: I'm starting to feel
exhausted.

Dick: At Chateau de Montvason,
it's the second day of

the artists' retreat weekend.

Emma's still standing in
as life model,

so Paul's running
the kitchen again.

Paul: There is a lot to do.
I am running around quite a bit,

but I'm on my feet now.

Yesterday was the telling point
of learning what Emma does.

Dick: The pressure's on.

If Emma and Paul make a success
of this retreat,

they'll have
an additional income

to add to their B&B revenue.

Emma: It's all about love.

Everything I do here
is for love.

I'm just wondering how long
she's gonna make me

hold this pose for.

If it's an hour, I'm in
the doo-doo. Ha ha.

Kate: Set yourself up
anywhere.

Dick: While Emma's giving her
all for art...

Paul: A quick stroll down.

Dick: Paul's taking
course teacher Kate to see

how they've improved
the water level in the lake,

ready for the final scene.

Paul: This is the finale to
the weekend.

There's a very famous painting
of Ophelia in the lake.

This time, it's going to be
Emma in the lake.

So I want to make sure
everything goes to plan.

Dick: Since they did the work
on the well,

water's been pumping back into
the lake.

Paul: I've had the pump going.

The salt level is still low.

Kate: Oh, it's better than it
was the other day.

Still a bit low, isn't it?

I'm glad that we've got
the weeds.

Because that's gonna look nice.

I was just a bit worried it
was gonna look a bit muddy.

I have had some concerns about

whether it's going to look good
visually,

but it's filled a lot today,

so I'm hoping
it's going to be fine.

I need to be near enough to
look over.

It's the inaugural retreat.

We're gonna learn a lot
from this.

Paul: I can try and find as much
flat ground as I can over there.

Kate: Yeah.

Paul: It's very important to
make sure that Kate's happy

because that's going to really
help us with future bookings.

I'm sure that it will be OK,

but I still have
slight reservations.

I'm hoping, wishing,
and praying. Ha ha!

Dick: At our chateau,
Karen and Abbie have come

for some advice on their
wedding business.

Angel's showing them how they
can save money and create

something special by foraging
for decorative foliage

from the land around them.

Angel: Come on. Let's see what
we can get.

Abbie: What about this one?

[Angel humming]

Karen: You might think I'm mad.
Abbie: No.

Angel: Lovely.
Abbie: That's brambles, Mum.

Abbie: What about something
like that? It's just a contrast.

Angel: Great.
Abbie: Mum?

Should we go and show Angel?

Karen: You don't pay attention
to the detail.

Angel: How are you getting on?
What you got?

Oh, great. Oh, that looks nice.

Abbie: You said you liked
dead things, so, um...

Angel: Oh, it's lovely. Great!

Abbie: Yeah, I think
it's a contrast to the green.

Angel: Oh, lovely.
Some lovely ivy.

I love it.
You got it straight away.

Do you know what? We've got
enough to get started.

Up and away.

Dick: Plants in hand, it's off
to the orangery.

My Angel's gonna show them how
they can use what they forage

to decorate a stylish seasonal
wedding cocktail bar.

Angel: This is your bar.

And it is gonna be one element
of, potentially, a package

that you're going to offer.

So you need to make sure that
the bar looks interesting

and it's got some heights
and variety on there.

And as we're going for bubbly,
sparkling wine,

I thought we can see about
putting some berries in there,

maybe some botanicals in there
to add that value

that doesn't actually take that
much effort from you guys

but actually really creates
something quite special.

Karen: Yes.
Angel: It's all about layers.

So I think, let's get started.

Hmm.

Literally a bucket that I got
in a cheap and cheerful,

a shop for a euro. Ha ha!

A bit of oasis,

this is all flowers from
the garden.

You want to carry on,
get a pair of secateurs?

OK, now, this was a chalkboard
just left over

from a wedding.

I'm not the best artist--
ha ha!--at all.

So what you would do is create.

Dick: To get a sign that looks
elegantly handwritten,

Angel has used
a computer-generated font

that she'll transfer onto
the board

by rubbing chalk onto the back
of the wording.

Angel: Then go across.

Abbie: OK.
Angel: All right.

Just putting a little bit of
pressure.

Dick: By tracing over
the letters...

Angel: Then as it come up,
you see?

Dick: the chalk on the back of
the page is transferred

onto the board.

Angel: And then you go over it.
OK, great.

You're on the chalkboard. Ha ha.

Ladies, these are all from
our garden,

and they are all things that can
go into--smell them.

Abbie: They smell amazing.

Angel: Lavender,
thyme, rosemary.

And mixed with some fruit,
just a little sprig of that,

you've changed
a glass of bubbles, haven't you?

Dick: In no time at all,
they've put together

a pretty good-looking bar just
using free foliage

from the grounds.

Angel: Who wants a drink?
[Laughter]

Karen: Who doesn't?
Angel: This didn't take long.

And I sort of feel that you will
take this back

and do something with it now.

Angel: Definitely.

Karen: You're darn right
there, girl.

Angel: You've got greenery
from the garden.

You've got produce
which is French,

and you've got something that's
layered and interesting.

Shall we crack open a bottle
and see, you know,

how pretty the glasses
will look?

[Pop]
Karen: Ohh, what a lovely sound.

Abbie: Gets me every time.

Angel: So we have one grenadine.

Karen: Thank you
very much indeed.

Angel: Here we go, madam.
Karen: Why not?

Angel: Why not?
Karen: Ha ha!

Angel: Hold on. Cheers.
Karen: Cheers.

Angel: To lots of bars,

lots of drunk,
happy wedding guests,

and a thriving business for
you guys.

Abbie: Thank you so much.
Karen: Thank you so much.

We have the enthusiasm like
Angel, but she's given us

a lot of ideas with regard to
decor.

Abbie: Great to have
some guidance.

Angel: Take care.
Karen: Thank you so much.

Angel: In the car. It's cold...

Karen: Bye-bye!

Dick: At Chateau Domaine de
la Salle, Mariam and Johnno are

expecting their first
B&B guests.

Since yesterday,
they've managed to get

the kitchen and dining room
set up

and transform
the sewing workshop,

but they still have plenty
to sort out.

Mariam: I think I've probably
got about two hours

before the guests arrive,
an impossible time.

But you just carry on, right?

I sometimes start slowing down
when there's too much to do.

That would be nice for washing
your hands in the bathroom.

I was thinking I don't have
a nice towel up there.

Down here, I have nothing
at all,

so no point even worrying
about it.

Dick: With only two hours to go,

there are no working bathroom
sinks to use downstairs,

and the plumbers are still
fitting

the en suite bathroom upstairs.

Mariam: This is the sink that's
meant to have a tap in it,

but I can't say anything to him,
poor guy,

because he's doing the bathroom.

So I think when he's done
the bathroom,

he'll come and put a tap
on there.

And I'll leave that to that.

And the couple still have to
create

three bedrooms from scratch.

Mariam: How do we know which is
the head and the bottom?

Are they both the same?

Johnno: I believe they should be
equidistant,

or the same at both ends.

Mariam: OK, it's in
on this side.

Johnno: I'm not even looking at
my watch.

It'll be finished when it's
finished.

So time is of
no great importance.

Mariam: I'm going to glue this
over the end of the bed,

where it's come off
and looks terrible.

That's a half an hour we've done
absolutely masses.

It's amazing what you can do
when you're in a hurry.

Johnno: Mariam will just have

to keep talking to them
downstairs.

Mariam: This door hasn't
arrived yet,

so this room doesn't have
a door.

I suppose in all reality,
if you show someone their room,

they're not gonna notice there's
not a door

until they go to bed.

I'll see who's least scared.

I suppose if they don't like it,
we can swap rooms

and they can come up
into the attic.

Johnno: The trouble is Mariam
has this penchant

for buying all
these old linen sheets,

which are very nice,
but half the time,

they are full of holes.

Mariam: I'd quite like this
weekend to be a success

because it's just nice if
people had a good time.

Johnno: There we are.
That's better.

Dick: The plumbers have been
hard at work upstairs.

And at last, there's progress.

Mariam: We've got water.

Dick: And Mariam's just heard
from her guests.

Mariam: "Blasted one-way system
in Bordeaux.

More like 1 p.m. arrival."
Whoo-hoo! Ha ha!

Dick: Hopefully, that gives them
just enough time

to finish things off.

Mariam: I'm over the moon that
they're late

because I didn't really have
time to make lunch,

and now I do, and it's probably
the dish I like doing the most.

So I can calmly do something.

I haven't looked at the rooms
downstairs.

Definitely move some chairs.

Um, they know it's a chateau
in renovation.

Right. And then?
Johnno: What was it?

Mariam: Oh, I think someone's
arriving, Johnno.

Oops. No garden path.

You've made it. Well done.
Woman: Yes. Wonderful day.

Mariam: Yeah...

Dick: Mariam and Johnno's first
guests have arrived from the UK

to stay for the sewing weekend.

Mariam: Nice to meet you.

Dick: And there's time for
a quick tour around

before they sit down to lunch.

Mariam: So this is the front
entrance.

Woman: Oh, it's amazing.

Different woman: I see artwork
on the wall.

Mariam: This is actually a copy

of what was
in the side entrance.

They had it all the way
up the stairs.

It was lovely, but you touched
it, and it just dropped off.

This is only just finished.
Sorry about the dust everywhere.

This was closed here.

There was a little bathroom
in that corner.

That was closed off.
It was boarded off.

And this is our sewing room.

Woman: Oh, amazing.
What a beautiful room.

Different woman: Oh, my
goodness. How beautiful. Ah!

Different woman: Fabulous.

Mariam: And we'll go in for
lunch now.

Go ahead and help yourselves
to those that

you can help yourselves to.

Dick: Away from the crowd,
Johnno and his visiting father

are enjoying a bite to eat.

Johnno: This is the staff
dining quarters, you know.

But that's fine by us.
A bit of peace and quiet.

Dick: With lunch over, it's time
to start the sewing workshop

with teacher Erica.

Erica: You just push in there
and pedal back a few stitches

the way you came.

Mariam: The guests have been
safely delivered

to the sewing room.

It's working well,
and they like it.

Erica: That's brilliant,
fantastic.

Mariam: Johnno said it was
absolutely ridiculous

to be hosting things
and planning things right now.

Maybe he's right, but I
just think that we can't wait

until it's finished.

And I'm thinking, we have got to
start thinking about

getting an income in and start
having people come,

and, you know, you just
have to do it.

Woman: They have some work to
do, obviously,

but I see what they're doing,
and it's just gonna be great.

Different woman:
Mariam and Johnno are

the perfect hosts
and very welcoming.

And I think anybody who was
to come here

would love meeting them
and staying here,

so, yeah, I'm feeling
quite mellow, quite tired.

I think I found it the most
stressful a week ago

when I could see that

absolutely nothing was going
to be ready.

Johnno: I didn't really get
stressed,

because I didn't know what was
going on in the first place,

because Mariam never
told me, so...

Dick: Well done, guys.
An amazing turnaround.

I'm sure you're on track to make
a success of your B&B venture.

At Chateau de Montvason, it's
the final day of Paul and Emma's

artists' retreat.

Paul: A ladder?
A ladder and loppers. OK.

Dick: And in the buildup to
the finale,

Paul is trying to make sure

that everything looks
picture-perfect.

Paul: Oh, I'm just gonna chop
all this out the way for her.

Dick: Emma is continuing as
the life model,

leaving Paul
with the responsibility

for organizing everything else.

No, Emma, you're not lopping
in a Victorian outfit.

I'm sorry, but just--
Emma: I'm--

Paul: I'm gonna get up there
in a second.

I'm just clearing the way
so that you

don't catch any
of the clothing on it, eh?

Stop doing your backseat
lopping. Ugh.

Give me five minutes to clear
the area

just to make sure it's
all clear.

Emma: To the left, left.

Paul: Just I've got to go
and check the lake now.

Emma: I'm not gonna cut
them all...

Paul: No, you're not
touching the loppers.

Dick: In the final scene

for the students to sketch
and paint,

Emma will float on the lake.

That's if it's deep enough.

They've been pumping water in
from the well

for the past few days.

Paul: There's a lot of water
coming in now.

So all good.

Dick: And Emma is ready to be
floated out to play the part.

[Emma and Kate speaking
indistinctly]

Emma: I feel like I'm in
a nativity play.

And Mary had walked all night.

Paul: But she hadn't.
Mary came in on a donkey.

Emma: OK, yeah.
So sit down, yes. So...

Paul: Fall down onto me.
Just lean back, lean back.

I've got you.
Emma: I don't want to do that.

I just want to sit down.
Oh, my God.

Paul: Now you've got to scooch
and do your scooching.

Kate: So just one corner, Paul.

Just let it over to that
nearest corner of the Lilo.

Dick: With Emma in the role of
tragic 19th-century heroine

in the lake, it's now just
the finishing touches.

Kate: Right. Now let's cover as
much of the Lilo

with the green as we can. Yeah.

That's good. That's perfect.
Oh. Oh, not bad.

Paul: OK, and these are just
going around her. There?

Kate: Yeah, perfect. Yup.

Dick: Marvelous.
Just like the real thing.

Student: When I saw
the costumes, I was so inspired.

So that really helped me to
continue my work.

Different student:
For an artist, it's one of

the best experiences I have ever
had in my life.

Different student: Of course I
had some expectations,

but I could never think that
it will be that amazing.

Kate: OK, guys, last couple
of minutes.

I think she deserves a round of
applause, don't you?

1, 2, 3. Yay!

Emma: Really amazed at the work
because it was so beautiful.

Dick: The event's success
is all down

to Emma and Paul's hard graft
and resourcefulness.

And they now have a way of
raising extra income

to continue with their
renovation of the chateau.

Paul: Everybody's really, really
happy, and that's what we want.

We want happy people.

Emma: So you got me in and out
of the lake

without getting me wet.
Paul: I did. I did.

Emma: That was beautiful.
Thank you.

Paul: That was the payoff.

Dick: After meeting Angel at
our place

and getting some creative
wedding tips, Karen and Abbie

are now back at Chateau de Doux.

Dad: Two hours to prepare
breakfast,

and then the girls carry on
and do all the clearing up.

Dick: The family's working hard

to get
all 32 guest suites ready...

Man: There we go. That fits.

Dick: for their most ambitious
wedding of the season.

And London couple Rhea
and Elliot have arrived ready

to say their I do's tomorrow.

Karen: Big weekend coming up.
Looking forward to it immensely.

They are delightful people.

So I'm hoping they have the
wedding that they planned for

for so long.

Dick: 20-year-old Abbie is in
charge of all arrangements

and has her work cut out.

Abbie: There will be 74 on
the wedding day.

And usually we limit it to 70.

So it is the biggest wedding
we're doing this year.

And they're not
just staying for three nights.

They're staying for five nights,
so it's a big wedding. Heh!

Dick: Some of the wedding party
arrived last night,

so Clive's up early getting
breakfast ready.

Clive: This is the most
time-consuming bit, actually.

Abbie: It's full on.
You need a lot of energy.

You're running around, checking
that everything's--

there's enough orange juice,
there's enough cereal,

there's enough everything,
but it's OK.

We've got an hour to go.
We have plenty of time.

Clive: Look. They're small, and
they're meant to have no pits,

but they do have pits,
so that just makes it

even more difficult to cut
the pits out.

Karen, chuckling:
She's as bad as me,

putting the same number of
cereal bowls in each pile

so they're the same height.

Oh, dear. It is a curse.

Abbie: That's good.
They're the same number.

It annoys me when they're not
even. It really does.

Karen: We need some
lime marmalade, and then we

could have traffic lights.

[Chuckling]

Abbie: You're so weird.

Karen: Stop. Get ready. Go.
You've eaten enough. Ha ha!

Dick: With 20 minutes to spare,
breakfast is ready.

Clive: There we go.
An hour and a half's work.

Karen: That looks beautiful.
[Mock slurping]

Abbie: It took you a while.
Clive: I know.

A bit slow, aren't I?

Dick: Because the wedding was
booked before the chateau

had an alcohol license,
the couple have brought

their own drink.

Abbie: There's a lot probably--
2 or 3 times more

than I'd usually recommend
for this number,

so it's gonna be--interesting.
Karen: An interesting.

Hopefully, it won't all be
consumed.

Abbie: Yeah, if it is, I'll
be very impressed.

Karen: Ah! Elliot.

Dick: The first guest to appear
for breakfast is the groom.

Elliot: Yeah. Hanging on here.
We're hanging on.

Karen: Were you partying till
late, were you?

Elliot: Well, I ended up going
to bed at 2:30.

Abbie: What?
Karen: That's not too bad.

Abbie: I didn't hear
a single thing.

Elliot: No, it was a bit heavy.
It was heavy.

Smashed into
the wedding drinks already.

So I'm gonna have to go to go
down and buy some more alcohol.

[Chuckles]

Karen: This morning, they're not
going to appear early if they...

Clive: Oh, they've all got
a hangover, have they?

Karen: Mind you,
it's only 10 people.

If there's only 10 people
and they made inroads

into the alcohol supply
they have,

that's quite a considerable
amount they had.

Man: Good morning.
A little blotto this morning.

Dick: Despite their late night,
the rest of the guests

start filing in for breakfast,
but there's soon a problem.

Abbie: Cafetiere time!
We're out of coffee.

Dick: It seems Clive has
underestimated

the guests' need for coffee.

Abbie: Dad only filled it up
halfway.

Karen: Oh, what'd he do
that for?

Abbie: Well, it's Dad,
isn't it? Well, no.

Because it's meant to do
about 60 cups.

Karen: Yeah, but if they've been
on the alcohol...

Abbie: Well, yeah, I think
that's the difference.

Lots of coffee this morning.
[Karen chuckles]

Abbie: I mean, that's why
we have these cafetieres,

so if we run out, we have
a backup plan.

So you have to run back
and forth.

And they take ages to push down.

And the amount of times they've
exploded on me is untrue.

Like that. There we go.

Very time-consuming,

especially when you got people
waiting for coffee.

Karen: Our system is not
very good, is it?

We had this problem yesterday.

Dick: Their hot water urn is
giving them a headache, too.

Karen: This one, it overheats.

If people press, em,
re-boil, it just gets too hot,

and then the thermostat,
it cuts out.

Woman: Sorry.

Abbie: The only problem is
they take so flippin' long.

Karen: The green light's
on for reboil.

Abbie: If it's
just reboil, it should pour.

Karen: Really? Well, you go and
see and test it,

and I'll bring this kettle.

Abbie: It should be boiling
now, ready to go.

Guest: All right. Oh, let's go.

Karen: Is it working OK?
Abbie: Yes.

Karen: What, boiling hot?
Can't be boiling...

Abbie: Stick your finger in it.
Karen: Yeah, it's hot.

Abbie: I just kept a boiling
kettle in there,

so it will be hot.

Karen: Yeah, that's not what
you're supposed to do.

Dad told me yesterday. You have
to let it cool down.

Abbie: Oh, well!

Dick: With breakfast finally
sorted, the focus turns

to making sure that Rhea
and Elliot's stay

will run as smoothly as
possible.

Rhea: We are very excited.
Elliot: Yes.

Rhea: Aren't we?
Elliot: Yup, yup, yup.

A bit nervous, actually.
Rhea: Yeah.

Elliot: Yeah. Ha ha!

Rhea: It just come around
so quick

since the first day of
our planning.

Yeah, I can't believe it's
tomorrow, our big day.

Dick: I've got
a feeling tomorrow's going to be

a long day
at Chateau de Doux.

Dick: Next time, Clive and Karen
race against the clock...

Karen: You're very slow.
Clive: I'm very slow.

Dick: in time for the wedding.

Abbie: No, no, no.
Not them as well. No, no, no.

We're just doing bubbly.

Dick: Has it all got too much
for Mariam...

Mariam: "Restore a chateau,"
they said.

"It'll be fun," they said.

Dick: as she and John await
for water?

Mariam: Voila!

Dick: And there's a tricky
lifting job for Paul...

Paul: All right.
It's got to go up.

Dick: as three weeks' work
comes to fruition.

Paul: That's it! That's it! OK!
Emma: Whoo-hoo!