Escape to the Chateau DIY (2018–2021): Season 2, Episode 13 - Episode #2.13 - full transcript

Dick, voice-over:
I'm Dick Strawbridge, along
with my wife, Angel, and our

two children, we spent the
last four years turning

an abandoned chateau
into our dream home.

No way.

It's not just where we live.

And you're in
charge of kitchen.

It's where we work.

We're in business.

And it turns out we're not the
only Brits who have crossed

the channel for
the chateau life.

Dinner time.



Now, Angel and I are back,
guiding more owners on their

chateau adventure.

How big is your pot of gold?

Not big enough, I'm afraid.

If you stand from where I'm
standing, I think it looks

quite lovely.

Go, go, go.

We'll work with
some familiar faces.

Welcome.

And some who are new
to chateau life.

As they battle to
renovate their homes.

Come the next nuclear
holocaust, this is what would

be what's left.

And make them work
as businesses.



You got everything
done on the list?

- No.
- Ta-da!

There'll be ups and downs.

This glass breaks, there's
going to be more euros in my

swear jar.

But however hard the going
gets, for these plucky Brits,

their homes really
are their castles.

[Cheers]

Dick, voice-over:
Today, mum doesn't
always know best.

You know what?

This is a bad idea,
because if we drop it,

it's gonna dent
the floor.

Abby, we're not going
to drop it.

[Clattering]
Abby: That's your fault.

Dick, voice-over:
Angel lends a helpful hand.

Oh, this is great.

This is where the
creativeness is.

And I am just the
technical part, okay?

Dick, voice-over:
One chateau buyer's
property plans hit a problem.

Still has a big hole
in the ceiling.

Well, it has to be fixed,
it has been ordered, but...

you know
builders are very busy.

Dick, voice-over:
And it's all hands to the
deck clearing a lake.

It's now four idiots with
no clue in a ratchet strap,

but we do have
high viz!

Dick, voice-over:
The 17th-century Chateau
Domaine de La Salle sits

in 52 acres.

It has twelve bedrooms,
two gites, and its own forest.

Johnno and wife Mariam bought
it two years ago for £315,000.

The estate agent had described
it as a sleeping beauty

needing awakening.

Johnno: We did fall in love with
it, I have to say.

Dick, voice-over:
It's located 70 miles north
of Bordeaux on the West Coast.

Mariam was a fashion designer,
and Johnno, a bespoke tailor,

and they've lived all over the
world, most recently Dubai.

Now they want to settle
in France, and run

the chateau as a B&B.

We're very excited
about this new venture.

It's so completely different
to what we've done before.

- We like challenges,
let's put it--
- Adversity.

let's put it like that.

Dick, voice-over:
Local builders have been
working on the chateau

for four months, and it's used
up their renovation funds.

We had a budget, which is now
gone, it's sort of finished.

I don't exactly know where
we're going to run out

of money, but that's why
we need to get our B&B up

and running ASAP, so that we
don't have that moment between

not having money and
having an income.

I don't know what you call
that period--bankruptcy.

Ha ha ha!

Dick, voice-over:
Today, the couple, their 16-
year-old son Monty, and three

cats are finally
moving into the chateau.

I really have no idea
what we're going to find.

We are completely
crazy for taking this on.

There's no doubt about that.

Right.
Here we are.

La Salle.

I'm suddenly not tired again,
having arrived, and I don't

know, just excited to see it.
- Voila.

Oh, my God, there's so many
cars, there's so many...

My God, there's a lot going on.
- They're still working.

Whee!

Dick, voice-over:
It's the first time Mariam
and Johnno will see

the builders' progress.

- Ca va?
- You all right, ma'am?

- Ca va?
- Tres bien.

Dick, voice-over:
John Jacques is the
project manager.

Salut, John Jacques. Ca va?

- Ooh!
- Wow.

It looks good,
it's worked well.

Dick, voice-over:
On the ground floor, the
walls have been insulated

and plastered, floors
installed, and new

plumbing put in.

OK, OK.
He said don't touch.

Ah, yeah, but I had to touch
all of the same.

No.

I forgot how wide it was,
it's really cold, actually.

Much nicer than what I had
imagined, and I forgot that

the walls are wide.

It just looks so different,
I don't know why.

Why?

Yeah.
It looks smaller.

Dick, voice-over:
Some of the ceilings have been
lowered to accommodate new

pipes for the
upstairs bathrooms.

It's not the effect
Mariam was hoping for.

Mariam: I feel like this ceiling
is even lower than

everywhere else.

Do you think
it's too low as well, Mariam?

- Hmm, yes.
- Huh?

Yeah.
I think I made a big mistake.

Oh, my God.
You made a big mistake.

Because I'm not terribly
experienced in plumbing,

I didn't think that you needed
some pipes at the bottom

of the bathroom.

And that's why it's
come down so low.

It's a bit hard
to change it now.

I know, I know.

Dick, voice-over:
It's so hard to communicate
exactly what you want from

a distance and understand
the impact of your decisions.

It's money, and there are
so many people here.

Well, yeah, t's
quite nice actually.

It's quite nice because you
feel that it's just the finer

bills we've been getting,
you know, it's

actually happening.

But it is cool seeing it
come together, but, I mean,

oh, my God,
there's still so much work.

This is not going to be a bed
and breakfast room for this

summer, which is what
I was thinking.

Dick, voice-over:
Looks like it's going to
be awhile until the chateau

starts making that
much needed income.

It's here?

Oh! [speaking
foreign language]

Oh! Ha ha ha!

They've mowed some words into
the grass. "Welcome La Salle."

No? No.

Dick, voice-over:
A lovely welcome.

And it helps soften
the next blow.

We were told that bathrooms
are going to be ready.

Our facilities tonight are
a loo that one can use,

and a bucket of water next to
it because there's actually no

flowing water yet.

If I can stay awake, we're
going to have some cold beers.

It's been a long voyage for the
maison ici...

that is going to carry on some
more, but anyway here's to it.

Yup. Cheers.

Dick, voice-over:
150 miles away, the 36-bedroom

Chateau du Doux lies in a
spectacular Dordogne Valley.

IT consultant Clive bought
this former hotel ten years

ago for his wife Karen,
and three children.

We all have very strong ideas
of how things should be done.

We just argue all day long.

This is my daily life, and
why I love working

with my parents.

Dick, voice-over:
As Clive and Karen divide
their time between here

and the UK, they've handed
over the reins of running

the chateau to 20-year-old
daughter Abby.

To make the chateau pay its
way, they host weddings.

Karen: I mean,
we were pretty silly to

purchase a building
of this size

and think we wouldn't have
to make it work to pay

for itself.

Dick, voice-over:
They've recently
refurbished some guest rooms,

and renovated some bathrooms.

With the largest wedding of
the season coming up in just

under a month, there's a
big decision to make

about wallpaper for
one of the rooms.

Do you want to go first?

I'm just doing it gently
so not to ruin the edges.

Do you wanna put yours down?

I was gonna say that because
I'll hold--I'll hold yours.

It's really pretty actually,
I just thought if the room was

quite plain... Hmm.

It looks quite wedding-y,
this isn't the bridal suite.

No, but all the guests are
associated with the wedding,

so I thought it might,
might be nice to reflect that

in the paper.

Sweet... Let's hold it up
against the wall and see what

you think because just--I did
wonder at first whether it

might be a bit busy, but then
I thought no, it offers some

depth and interest.

Hmm.
I'm not sure.

I think it's too many colors
because we've picked blue

soft furnishings.

- All right.
- I prefer just one color.

It's a bit too much for me.

Sometimes it can be
frustrating because you all

have different ideas, and
you have to compromise, or go

with somebody else's idea,
but it's --yeah, I guess it's

part of it, it's part of
sharing a family business

and all being part of it.

- Which do you prefer?
- This one.

Yeah, no, I know I like this
one more, definitely.

You stand back,
and I'll hold it.

You got it?

Sorry, yes, you
go and have a look.

Definitely that one,
100% that one.

Yeah, I know that
looks so much better.

- Does it?
- Yeah.

- That's what I envisaged.
- I agree with you.

- Yes.
- Look, you go have a look.

I like not too much.

- I like the other--
- Yeah. It's not too much.

But this is more
sophisticated, I think.

- Oops.
- Look, that's definitely.

No. I prefer that.

Definitely this one.
We're going this one.

Right you are, there we go,
we both agreed,

that's fantastic.
- For once.

Dick, voice-over:
Decision made, the next
job will be to put it up,

and then, sort out the other
rooms in time for the wedding.

The 19th-century Chateau de
Montvason lies in Normandy

and has 30 rooms
spread over two wings.

It's now home to Emma and her
partner, Paul, who bought it

two years go for
£278,000.

They've renovated the east
wing, and have even welcomed

some guests.

Man: You guys have done
a great job.

Thank you.

Well, hopefully you'll like
the bedrooms, too.

It's been a year and a
half of hard slog.

Dick, voice-over:
They've now started
doing up the west wing.

We both love old things,
that's why we like each other.

And we love the features,
and the light, I mean,

together it's renovated about
six or seven places before

here, just never this big.

So we work really well
together as a team.

Dick, voice-over:
That's just as well.

As there's still a lot
of renovation left to do.

The last year and a half
has been getting up at 5:00

in the morning,
having dinner at 6:00,

and working
through until 10:00.

It's been hard, harsh slog.

- Seven days a week.
- Yeah.

No holiday.

Dick, voice-over:
Today, Emma and Paul can take
a break from DIY, as they're

hosting a 60th birthday
party for one of their

close friends.

I am preparing a three-course
meal for our friend Jim.

It's his 60th birthday,
and he's chosen to spend it

here, which is fantastic.

So I'm gonna do something
quite traditionally French as

the main course.

I was thinking of doing a bouef
bourguignon, and I remember

that I had my grandma's
cookery book.

It's Granny's cooking bible.

So I had to look for it,
hoping to find the bouef

bourguignon, which she used
to make for my dad, it was

his favorite,

and I couldn't find one.

So I was like, "Oh, no,
what am I gonna do?"

But I found something that's
quite similar, which is called

bouef mode, and bouef mode--

it's actually made
with white wine and Madeira.

So I'm not sure how this is
gonna pan out, I'm pretty sure

she switched the
white wine for red,

but I'm gonna try and do it,
stay faithful to this original

recipe, and see how we go.

Dick, voice-over:
So it's off to the market
for some fresh ingredients.

And any advice about grandma's
recipe, Emma can get.

[Speaking French]

Emma: I'm actually French,
don't have an accent, was

born in Paris.

It feels like home,
it's where all my family are.

So, it's fantastic to
be back here.

So, I asked him if I could
use red instead of white wine,

he said yes, but normally,
this recipe is with white.

So, I think I might
try it with white.

Dick, voice-over:
Now it's back to the chateau
to start cooking before

the six guests arrive in a
couple of hours' time.

Back at Chateau du Doux,
Clive, Karen, and 20-year-old

daughter Abby are
renovating their guest rooms.

Having chosen the wallpaper
for one of the rooms, they now

need to sort the furniture,
ready for their biggest

wedding of the summer
in three weeks.

With babies to accommodate,
mum Karen has ordered

three new cots.

Mum's favorite cots.

Ow. Ow.

The bottom.
Can you pull it off?

Oh, yes.

That actually hurt.
You know what?

This is a bad idea because if
we drop it, it's gonna dent

the floor.

Whereas on the stone, it's
not gonna dent the stone.

Abby, we're not
going to drop it.

Dick, voice-over:
Seems like Abby's warning
is falling on deaf ears,

but that's an original
parquet floor.

If I lift it, can you pull
the bubble wrap off fully?

Oh, is that a good idea?

As long as you don't touch it.

[Clattering]
Oh, was that your toe?

Dick, voice-over:
Let's hope that's not
as bad as it sounded.

That's paint, that
will come off.

- No, it's dented.
- Oh, dear.

And the cot is dented.

- Oh.
- That's your fault.

There's a big gouge in that.

Yes, but you can easily get
that off with--

No, you can't, Mum.

This is why we don't
need more baby cots.

Dick, voice-over:
Abby usually uses travel cots,
which fold away after use,

and they're much easier
to move around.

Oh, my God.
Do you know how heavy that is?

Shall we just try it
and make sure it goes
through the doorway?

Are you OK?
Yes or no?

I guess.

Let me know if you
have a problem.

It's not gonna go in.

You actually
flipping joking me?

No, this isn't actually funny.

How about the doorways?

So we're gonna have to take
it apart, and assemble

it in the rooms.

No--well, yes, we will.
We will.

We're not using them.

I'm not doing that
every wedding.

That's really irritating.

For me,
it's stupid, having a cot,

if you can only use
it for one room.

I want one I can put
in any room, remove quickly,

and easily.

Dick, voice-over:
So they see if they have
better luck with another door.

- Won't go in here.
Dick: Ah, perhaps not.

Mum, the cot's rubbish.

It's not rubbish.
Don't be silly.

You're gonna have to buy a
different baby cot or we just

use the travel cots, which
is what we've got.

So should I put
this one on eBay?

No.
Absolutely not.

Dick, voice-over:
Karen's not giving
up that easily.

Big brother Ross joins them
to try another of

the new cots in an
outbuilding apartment.

I can't see.
Ow.

Dick, voice-over:
But that's hardly
child's play either.

- Open it.
- Oh, you are joking me.

No.
Won't it come in?

- No.
- Ugh.

Dick, voice-over:
There's no way that's
going through there.

For me,
it's irritating, because we've

just spent a load of money on
the cots, and now we're not

even going to be
able to use them.

So either we resell them
or they just sit there

doing nothing.

So I have to argue
that one with my mum.

Will it even fit
in the bedroom?

I guess if we pulled it
that way, it'll go in.

What don't we just
put travel cots in here?

- How old is the baby in here?
- Are you joking?

You want to use the travel
cots after all of that?

Yeah, but some are
better than others.

I really wanted--I didn't
want to use the one

with the hole in it,
because it looks so poor.

None of them have holes in it.

I don't get your fascination
with wooden baby cots.

- It's backfired on you.
- Fair enough then.

That's it.

It must be gin and tonic time.

Dick, voice-over:
Now that sounds like a
jolly good idea to me.

At Chateau Domaine de La Salle
in Southwest France, Mariam,

Johnno, and 16-year-old
son Monty are waking up

for the first day of
chateau life after moving

in yesterday.

Delays to the renovations
means they're living

in a building site.

This is our kitchen
for the time being.

This is all we have.

We're using the builders'
cafeteria, and we actually buy

our own coffee.

But that's about it really,
that's how we do.

We don't even have a teaspoon
for the time being because I

forgot to buy it at Carrefour.

Dick, voice-over:
The chateau doesn't have any
running water, so Monty has to

use an outside tap.

That's the sinks roll out.

I'm just doing a
bit of washing up.

I don't really mind
roughing it, really.

Well, they said the rooms would
be done in a couple of days,

so I think it'll probably
be about a week or

two at most.

Dick, voice-over:
And Mariam is on latrine duty.

For our loo.

There's no flush, so if we
want to go to the loo, we need

to carry a bucket of
water over there.

Mariam:
I thought the plumbing was
going to be sourced yesterday.

I hope we'll have
running water tonight.

It would be really nice
because it's very hot

at the moment.

We went to shower at the
project manager's house

yesterday, he very kindly
let us shower there.

Dick, voice-over:
Without running water,
there will be no B&B,

so the pressure is on.

While the building carries
on inside the chateau, Johnno

and Monty get to work on an
old tractor in the barn.

It's been laid up over winter.

We haven't turned it over
since then, and we're gonna

try and see if we can get
it going basically.

Dick, voice-over:
It's a beauty.

An old 1950s Fergie that's
still used by farmers all over

the region, and it could
be handy for them, too.

We're gonna use the
tractor for general work

around the farm, something
to cut the grass, or plow.

Dick, voice-over:
That's if Monty can work his
magic, and get it started.

I love cars, and--well, yeah,
old vehicles in general.

Well, not modern ones,
they're all boring.

It's just computers.

But older ones, I
really enjoy them.

I'm just working on an old
Land Rover at the moment as

well that we're restoring
so...

Johnno: From the same year
as this one.

Yeah, actually, 1958.

Although I'm no great
mechanic, and he is--he's

basically learned a lot
more than I have really.

But I know the basics.

Pump the lift, pump, and
then pump the lift--

- Pump the lift. Pump--yup.
- knob on the injection.

Dick, voice-over:
The moment of truth.

OK, ready?

- Yup.
- OK.

[Loud clank]

- Ha ha ha!
- OK, that's a flat battery.

Dick, voice-over:
Well, it wouldn't be any fun
if it started first time.

Mariam is having some
fun of her own.

She's designing tiles
for a boot room.

I'm trying to sketch out
roughly the tiles that I might

like, or just one tile
that I might like.

I sketch around, and see
what looks good, and

at the end of it,
hopefully, there'll be

something there.

Dick, voice-over:
The tiles will be used as a
surround for a butler sink

they want to put in.

Mariam is struggling to find a
local tile maker to help her.

But you know who's a
dab hand at that?

I think Angel is probably much
better at all the modern

processes and technologies
than I am, being a little bit

younger than me.

And so,
with her knowledge, some

of the ideas I have might
actually be put into reality.

It'd be really, really fun
to see what comes out of it.

Dick, voice-over:
So Mariam is visiting Angel at
our chateau to get some help

turning her
designs into tiles.

- Hi!
- Hello.

- Welcome.
- How are you?

- Very good.
- Yeah.

- I'm not good at traveling.
- Oh.

Dick, voice-over:
In the four years since we
bought our place, Angel has

made lots of bespoke tiles,
and saved us a fortune

in the process.

That's the bridge
and the canal.

Gorgeous.

I mean,
when you want to have a little

drink in the evenings.
- Oh, lovely.

- And that's the house and...
- Oh!

Dick, voice-over:
Mariam has sketched
3 different tile designs.

Angel: Oh, this is great.

This is where the
creativeness is.

And I am just the
technical part, OK?

Dick, voice-over:
Angel makes the tiles by
first scanning the design into

a computer.

A template is then printed
with a special ink that

reacts to heat.

Then she cuts the template
to size before it goes into

a heat transfer machine
on top of a blank tile.

Don't worry about making
it perfect around the edge

because the white isn't gonna
transfer onto the white,

and then we can--we can
work right on there.

Can't tell a Virgo not
to make it perfect.

Oh, I know!
Sorry. Ha ha!

The artisans were all going
mad with me because I'm

wanting everything
symmetrical.

I'm feeling a bit
pressured now.

No, no, no,
no, no, no.

Dick, voice-over:
Next job will the exciting
bit, to actually start

pressing the tiles.

Chateau Domaine de la Salle's
owner Mariam is visiting Angel

to learn how to turn her
tile design into reality.

After a few minutes in the
heat transfer, the first

tile is ready.

There's something about doing
a tile for someone else.

It's quite nerve-racking.

Mariam: Aw.

All right.

I am a tiny little bit out,
but you know what, you won't

really know that, so all
you can do--

Ooh, it's fantastic.

There we go.
Absolutely fantastic.

April: When I initially
investigated to do the kitchen,

I was being quoted
£10 a tile,

and the saving from me
just buying the system

was thousands,
and it's been great.

Every time that I think,
"Oh, a little tile area

would work,"
I can do it.

- I haven't got to--
- No, it's brilliant.

pay a fortune,
I just do it myself.

I like having that control.

Dick, voice-over:
As Mariam and her husband
Johnno have already spent

their renovation budget,
a tip like this is a useful

way for them to save money.

You're quite an intelligent,
creative lady.

It's just where you
learn your new skills.

Don't be scared of
this side of it.

Yeah, I know.

It's very exciting, actually,
thinking of what I can

do with it.

[Beep]

Dick, voice-over:
Another one hot off the press.

Oh, yeah.
Good.

It's only looking good
because it's your own artwork

by the way.
- Yeah, yeah, right.

- Well, it is.
- OK.

April: We're getting somewhere.

Mariam: That's really cool.

[Beep]

Oh, that's wicked.

Dick, voice-over:
Before you know it,
you've got a whole set.

Last but not least,
the little kitty catties.

Mariam: Oh.

- There you go.
- Brilliant.

I think it looks nice.
Well done.

Yeah. Well, thank you.
Well done, you.

I think that's very clever,
the way you've done that.

April: Oh, I just facilitated
your lovely artworks.

Well, I couldn't
do it, could I?

You could.

The difference is that
I truly, truly believe

anyone could.

That's the thing, I can't
draw, so...

Oh, I think everyone can draw.

April: Should we go and
let these cool?

Yeah. OK.

Another cup of tea
before we say goodbye?

Yeah. Lovely.

- For you.
- Thank you. Thank you.

That's
really brilliant.

Best of luck with the tiles.

But best of luck
with everything.

Yeah. Thank you.

- And stay in touch.
- I'll send you photos.

I'd love to see one.

Mariam: Angel's very
encouraging.

She's inspired me to get
one of those machines,

and hopefully, I'll be able
to do something with it.

Dick, voice-over:
I reckon it would
be worth every penny.

Back home at Chateau Domaine de
la Salle, hubby Johnno and son

Monty are trying to get the
old tractor working, after

reconnecting the battery
failed, they've roped

in a neighbor to give
them a jumpstart.

[speaking French]

Johnno: Positive is going on.

Positive is on.

Ah, that's more like it.

The glow plug is on.

We'll just wait for it
to warm up again.

OK, I think it's ready.

Johnno: OK.

[Click]

Ah. Uh-huh.

- It's--it's...
- Nothing?

No, there was a bit,
I can hear it a bit.

OK.

[Clicking]

Johnno: So basically,
we're still not getting
enough power with

the van, so we're just gonna
have to recharge the battery

overnight, and take
it from there.

Dick, voice-over:
A few days later, and with the
battery charged, Monty and his

friends try the
tractor again.

OK, let's check if the
manifold is hot enough.

Yep. OK.
Should be good.

[Engine won't turn over]

Hmm...

Johnno: Why don't you try a bit
of start pilot, Mont,

because otherwise

you'll flatten the battery
before you have a chance.

Yeah. You're right.

Dick, voice-over:
Monty sprays a little magic
into the engine that should

help it start.

Monty: And let's go.

[Engine chugging
and starts]

Yay!

Dick, voice-over:
Success at last.

This old faithful will be a
Godsend around the grounds.

Dick, voice-over:
85 miles southeast,
Julia is looking for her

perfect chateau, so she
can move back to Europe.

It's been a dream of my
sisters and myself since we

were children to have
a chateau in France.

Dick, voice-over:
She moved to Australia as
a teenager, but now is back

with sisters Melissa and
Sarah, who are helping Julia

with her tough choice.

It's very daunting.

It's daunting because you
can't make a wrong decision

with the property.

You got to pick the right one.

So, that's hard.

Dick, voice-over:
Since being here, the
sisters have viewed four very

diverse chateaus.

Some hit the mark...

Julia: Really love this room.

That fireplace is
absolutely gorgeous.

Dick, voice-over:
And others didn't quite.

The building is exceptional,
but it's very

different proposition.

Dick, voice-over:
However, the one Julia has
really fallen for is this

5-bedroom elegant manor
house, 60 miles from

Bordeaux, which sits in
6 acres of land, and has

outbuildings.

At £420,000,
it's well under

Julia's £530,000 budget.

Julia: We wanted beautiful
original floors, which we have.

We wanted the fireplaces,
which we have.

Staircase--yes, it's ticking
a lot of boxes, this one.

Oh, my goodness!

Oh! Heaven.

I don't want to admit it
in front of the agent,

but I love it.

What?

Dick, voice-over:
After four weeks of searching,
her sisters have returned

home, leaving
Julia on her own.

So, today she's decided to
revisit her favorite property,

Chateau de Crognac for
a second viewing.

Julia: The facade of the
building actually is in really

good condition.

It is actually.

It's just the shutters that
make it look a bit shabby.

But once they're fixed up,
it's gonna look very smart.

I'm so excited to be here
for the second time.

I wanna see everything, I want
to go over everything again,

and just really check
everything out, and see how

I feel after seeing all the
other chateaus in between.

OK, perfect.
Let's go.

Dick, voice-over:
Given it's hundreds of
years old, the chateau is

in good nick.

But there's one issue Julia
wants to double check.

Still has a big hole
in the ceiling.

Well, it has to be fixed.

So, when is that
going to be done?

It has to be done this year.

It has been ordered, but,
you know,

builders are very busy.
- OK.

So, it will be done.

- It will, it will.
- Yes.

Dick, voice-over:
Keep the pressure on, Julia.

It's important to make sure
any building work that's been

promised is done before
you sign contracts.

Julia will need to keep
an eye on this,

if she does decide
to make an offer.

And you have a very
nice wooden floor.

Julia: The floors in this
house are all fantastic.

I'm really, really
happy with the floors.

And they're so wide,
the boards are fantastic.

So, the electrics are all
working, as we can see.

But we're not sure if
they're up to regulation.

Is that the right term?

It's working, but it has
to be updated.

Updated, yeah.

which might just
be the fuse box.

I think the
cables as well--

The cables through
the whole place.

Because it has to have
a special section.

Uh-huh. OK.

So, that could be an
expense to have it all done.

You have to plan to--
- Yeah. OK.

Dick, voice-over:
Sensible questions.

It's important to know if
you're going to be lumbered

with any costly jobs.

On with the tour.

Julia: See, this is a lovely
bedroom.

It's nice and light, beautiful
floors, lovely fireplace,

hidden away behind
that cabinet.

Dick, voice-over:
And the grand salon?

Julia: Again, we got our
beautiful floors.

- Yes.
- Huge fireplace.

Oh, I just think it's a
really light gorgeous room.

Looking around the chateau
for the second time, I still

really love it.

It's still my number
one on my list.

I can really see
myself living here.

It's a beautiful,
beautiful place.

And I think I could really
make it into a wonderful home

for the family.

Dick, voice-over:
Now she's seen everything
again, it's decision time.

I still have to work out all
the expenses I feel it's

going to require.

But I'm confident that in
the near future, there will

be an offer.

I honestly don't know if I'm
going to get the result I

want, but I hope so.

So, fingers crossed.

Dick, voice-over:
Fingers crossed indeed.

Hopefully the sums add up,
and Julia can put in an offer

on the chateau she loves.

At Chateau du Doux,
there's still a lot to do.

As they're getting ready to
host their most ambitious

wedding yet in
three weeks' time.

Although Karen and Clive
bought the chateau as

a private home 10 years ago,
now they're using it

for guests.

It means meeting lots
of safety requirements.

In keeping with our
commission to security,

we have to test the
fire alarm every month.

So, you get menu, so this is
all the logs, the fires that

we've had.

We're going to try testing
one of the sensors, which are

on the ceilings in the rooms.

We've exited that, and
in a minute, it'll go off.

And we're going to spray it
with a special smoke that you

buy to test them.

And then, hopefully, fingers
crossed if it all works,

it should go off.

Right, so, where are we going
to set the alarm off?

Why don't we do room 110
because that's when we've

recently renovated, and we
can double check that the

electrics are all working.

Perfect.

Dick, voice-over:
It's vital they stay on
top of fire safety.

If they fall foul of
regulations, they could risk

being closed down.

No, so, really I just
hate the noise.

I have to say it's not my
favorite job, it's incredibly

loud, and it always
just--I just don't like it.

It's so loud that it always
sends me into panic mode.

- Right.
- Let's put it to the test.

We will spray it for three
seconds, and then, there'll be

a slight delay for the
sensor to pick up the smoke.

And then, the whole
alarm should go off.

My heart's going already.
[Spraying]

- Shall I go again?
- Yes.

- I might not be close enough.
- You need longer arms.

Oh, no, it's going.

[Alarm blaring]

- Right.
- Let's go.

Normally, I operate the fire
alarm with my dad, so it's

nice that my mum knows exactly
what she's got to do if

it goes off.

[Alarm blaring]

So, that's worked because it
says, "First floor bedroom

110, fire."

[Alarm stops]

Ooh. Thank you.

My ears are ringing,
it's that loud.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well done.

Dick, voice-over:
So, that's one down.

Just another 183
to go.

Over in Normandy at Chateau de
Montvason, Emma and Paul are

getting ready to host a
60th birthday party for one

of their close friends.

Emma's cooking a classic from
her grandma's old recipe book.

It didn't say which type of
wine, so I got a Sauvignon,

because then I can have
a sneaky glass of it.

It just says a few carrots,
a ... of onions, so,

like a handful of onions,
and that's how I like to cook.

I just like to like just
grab stuff, shove it in, not,

you know, not Cordon Bleu,
just good ol' French

farmhouse-type cooking.

Oh, crying.

Dick, voice-over:
Emma's hoping her grandma's
recipe will wow their guests.

So, the birthday boy today
is Jim, and he's a very good

friend of ours, and has been
this real supporter since

the beginning.

So, Jim has helped with
plastering, fix the oven.

You need your friends for
a project like this.

You can't do it on your own.

[Sizzling]
Oh, yeah.

Dick, voice-over:
Boeuf mode is a 17th-century
French recipe, but to you

and me, it's beef stew.

Shove it in there.

Ta-da!

Dick, voice-over:
The birthday boy Jim
has arrived from the UK.

Why can't I get in?
Ah, it's my birthday.

And...

fantastic.

Whoo hoo hoo!

Hello.

[People talking indistinctly]

Oh, Jim.

How are you buddy?
All right.

Birthday boy.

Dick, voice-over:
With all the guests here,
the party can get started.

That's boy, girl.

Yeah.
Girl, girl, boy.

[Indistinct]

Sorry.
I couldn't help it.

Hey!

Happy birthday.

Thank you to Emma and Paul
for allowing us to have
this perfect--

Yes, yes,
yes, yes, yes.

Aw...thank you.

To Emma and Paul!

Let's celebrate being here with
this strange green cocktail.

Oh, well done, baby.

Why is it green?

- You can get it yourself.
- Wow.

Emma: So that's what
you've been smelling all day,

I hope it's as good
as it smells.

Dick, voice-over:
It seems Emma's old recipe
is going to be a hit.

And it might be a way of
enticing the chaps to give

a helping hand
around the chateau.

Bon appetit.

Cheers!

Bon appetit, bon appetit,
bon appetit.

- Chin chin.
- Thank you.

- Yeah.
- Let's give this a go.

Dick, voice-over:
At Chateau du Doux,
it's countdown to their

biggest wedding of the season,
now just two weeks away.

There you go.
I'll pass it to you.

Dick, voice-over:
Abby has spent months
painting old furniture

for the apartments, so,
today they can get those

bedrooms ready.

The brand-new painted bed,
now we just need to

make the bed,
and then, we're nearly there.

Karen:
Oh, dear, what's that?

- Oh, yeah, that was--
- Was that you?

Yeah, I turned it over too
quickly.

and it didn't dry in time,
and...

Oh, I wouldn't employ you as
my full-time--

Abby: It's OK.
You don't see when all
the bedding will be on it.

Not the right
attitude, Abby.

It's my attitude.

What you don't see
doesn't hurt you.

Dick, voice-over:
It seems like they find
something else to disagree on.

Abby: This is just hideous.
It's disgusting!

Well, I think it's
quite interesting.

But what is that?

It's like death blue.

It's royal blue.

Abby: It's not royal.

It looks like
blue that's died.

It's royal blue.

Then what is that pattern?
It's for old...people?

Now you're treading on
dangerous territory, my girl.

And then you got cushions
that are way too big.

No, you did, you plunker.

You told me to order the
big ones.

No, I didn't.

I think you weren't paying
attention to me at all.

Look at the size of that.

Well, Mum asked me to
buy cushions online.

And she nagged me
and nagged me.

I said, "OK.
I'll do it."

So I clicked on the first
one she sent me and I

clicked "Order."

Dick, voice-over:
The perils of online shopping.

I like it, but I think those
cushions are a little too big.

The cushions are too big.

You should've ordered them
when I asked you to,

and then, the order
would've been correct.

Dick, voice-over:
I'm a bloke, I don't
under cushions.

Job done.

Painted, finished, for the
season, it's good, I'm happy.

It's good enough.

Dick, voice-over:
Back in the main chateau,
it's all coming together too.

Aah!

Yes, that's
rather comfortable.

Dick, voice-over:
So, time for a few
finishing touches.

I'm absolutely delighted
because these tiles

normally, for a 30 centimeter
length of it, you pay

about 10, 15 euros, and I went
into a shop, and it was end

of stock, buy now,
one euro a strip.

I like saving money.

Dad wanted the expensive ones,
but I put my foot down,

and said, "No."

So, he has 15 times the
amount for the same price.

So I was quite good with that.

Dick, voice-over:
Abby's persistence
has paid off.

The family has managed to
transform two bathrooms.

They've completely retiled and
replaced the bathroom suites.

Clive: They've come out really
well, fantastic, in fact.

At one point, I was
wondering about the tiles.

But when the white suites
went in, actually, it's quite

a nice contrast.

Dick, voice-over:
With the wallpaper and
furnishings done in the extra

guest bedroom, they're one
step closer to being ready

for the wedding.

We are delighted that
the renovation is done.

It's a little bit stressful,
we had to work all through

the weekend.

We've had builders here,
doing overtime.

But we've got there,
and it's done.

But it's a successful
result at least.

Success, yes.

Dick, voice-over:
I think they can all
give themselves a big pat

on the back.

But let's not forget, there's
still a lot to do before

the wedding.

Back at Chateau de Montvason
in Normandy, it's the morning

after the big birthday bash.

Paul's taking the opportunity
for having some extra labor

and puts the chaps to work.

- That's a big tree.
- That's a big bugger, innit.

Dick, voice-over:
Paul and Emma want to host
a variety of events.

They have an artist's retreat
booked in 6 weeks' time

and want to use the lake
for one of the art classes.

We're gonna chuck a young lady
in the watery end of the lake,

and they're going to do
some special drawings.

And I think it's
Ophelia in the Lake.

But at the moment, it's
Ophelia in the bog.

[Chain saw buzzing]

When you come out, you don't
come out just to have a holiday.

- You come out and work.
- Yeah. You got it.

All right, Gary,
don't do it yourself.

[Buzzing]

It's now four idiots with
no clue and a ratchet strap.

Ha ha ha ha!

But we do have
high viz!

What could go wrong?

Dick, voice-over:
I can think of quite
a lot of things.

All right.

Whoops-a-daisy.

Man: Whoops-a-daisies?

Nearly lost a boot and a sock.

Whoa, you blighter.

This has been brilliant
because, you know, doing it

with just of one or two of you
is not really that possible.

You know, you can, but it's
gonna take a lot of time.

But these guys have been
absolutely sterling, you know.

Where do you want it, Paul?

By the fire.

Dick, voice-over:
It's looking nice
and tidy now.

Time to celebrate
another achievement.

While there's still a lot of
work to do in the chateau,

the lake is ready for the next
event, the artists' retreat.

[Cheering]

Next time...

Mariam: They're not gonna notice
there's not a door until they

go to bed.

Dick, voice-over:
One coupler behind schedule.

I don't think that we're ready
to host a Mad Hatter's tea

party, let alone a
selection of guests.

But anyway, there we are.

Dick, voice-over:
There's a breakfast
... de doux.

Cafeteria time, we're
out of coffee.

As Abby comes to the rescue.

Dad only filled it up halfway.

- Oh, what did he do that for?
- Well, it's dad, innit.

And things aren't going
so well for Paul and Emma.

Oh, my word.

What, what, what,
what, what?

Just horrible.

As they tackle a
watery problem.

Aah!