Empty Nest (1988–1995): Season 6, Episode 10 - The Girl Who Cried Baby - full transcript
Laverne...
Guess what I've got.
Liver spots.
No.
Bird legs!
Laverne, you'll never get it.
- Opera tickets.
- Op...
How did you know that?
It's a gift.
So, Laverne, you gonna buy
those opera tickets
from me or what?
Come on, Maxine, we shouldn't
be competing with each other
to try to sell these tickets.
Yeah.
I liked it better last year
when we had
that celebrity auction.
Only problem was nobody knew
a celebrity.
So Dr. Ogilvy
donated a bic pen
and said it belonged
to patsy cline.
Some nut bought it for 26 bucks.
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♪ Life goes on
♪ and so do we
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need...
♪ ...rain or shine
♪ I'll be the one...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
Come on, Laverne,
how many opera tickets
can I put you down for?
I told Dr. Douglas
I have plans for that night.
- Well, cancel them.
This is very important.
Look, the proceeds
from this performance
go to clinics all over the city.
Now, if we don't support it,
how can we ask other people to?
You're absolutely right.
Dr. Douglas,
put me down for one ticket.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
That's one more
for the good guys.
She asked me first.
But, Laverne, we've known
each other for 8 years.
Then why did you wait
till the last minute to ask me?
So how many tickets
have you sold?
- So far, I don't know.
- I really haven't kept track.
Could be anywheres up to
30.
Up to 30?
- Well, I said I'm guessing.
Could be 30, could be 20.
Could be one.
Could be one.
That is, I mean,
one that I'm absolutely sure of.
You're not real good
at this, are you?
Don't you worry
what I'm good at.
I'll bet by next Friday,
I sell more tickets that you do.
You're on!
Loser has to work the late shift
for the next two weeks.
- Two weeks?
Why not four weeks?
Why not eight weeks?
Why not six months?
- You're on.
- Yeah, two weeks is good.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, come on!
- Come on, what? What, what?
- Carol's having her baby!
Carol's having the baby where?
- On the phone!
I'll get your jacket!
No, I have my jacket!
- I'll get your car!
- No!
Get my car!
H-hi, sweetheart.
Okay.
You're right? Good.
No.
No, no, don't worry.
No, I'll... I'll meet you
at the hospital.
Right. Bye!
My god.
Carol's in labor.
What do you want me to do?
- Call the hospital and...
- And tell them I'm on my way.
How's Carol getting
to the hospital?
She says she's got that handled.
- God!
- I can't find my car keys!
Daddy!
Thank you.
And thank you.
And thank you.
She called all those people?
Plus the cable guy.
Anyway, she's not dilated.
There's no contractions at all.
I think this labor's
all in her head.
Okay!
Let's have this baby!
Doctors...
I'm ready for my fetal monitor!
No, hey, hey, hey...
Why don't you let me
handle this?
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
Hey!
- Hi, daddy!
You know, daddy,
this is not half as bad
as I thought it was gonna be.
I mean, yes,
I'm a little uncomfortable,
but what is that compared
to the joy of giving life?
Why do women complain so
about labor?
Well, they... they complain,
dear, because they're actually...
In labor.
I'm in labor.
- No.
No, you're not.
I don't understand.
Sweetheart, I mean, a lot
of things can indicate labor...
Shortness of breath,
a rise in temperature, but...
The one common denominator
that most women look for,
the one... the one thing that
will confirm their suspicions
virtually all the time is...
Pain.
Pain?
Now, did you feel pain?
Twinges...
Painful twinges.
I see, and this led you to
believe that you were in labor?
Yes.
Let me put it to you
another way.
Could you right now
kill me, your father,
for a shot of morphine?
No.
Well, when you can,
we'll talk labor.
- I'll be right there.
Don't start without me.
Sophia, you have to come.
Lamaze class is starting,
and you're my coach.
You're at a funeral...
I'm sorry.
Sophia...
Sophia!
Sophia, why are all those people
yelling "bingo"?
I don't know about this, Carol.
Charley, I have called
everyone I know,
and you are elected.
Believe me, I would rather have
Andrew Dice Clay as my coach.
Carol, I don't belong here.
I never know what to say
to a pregnant woman...
I mean, besides,
you know, "sorry."
Just keep your mouth shut
and try not to embarrass me.
Hey, I think I slept
with that girl.
Is everybody ready?
Okay, we'd like to thank
Carol Weston
for the use of her home tonight.
Thank you, Carol.
And, Carol,
would you like to introduce
your alternate coach
to the class?
- No, no, nope, nope.
No, thanks. I'm fine.
Hey, babe.
My god.
This is unbelievable.
Relax, Carol,
it was a long time ago.
I barely remember it.
I'm sure she doesn't either.
September 12, 1986...
I was out of my mind
on medication.
I had a fever of 104.
All I remember is...
That was one hot babe.
Well, then, let's review
some of our exercises,
starting with the push.
We're on our backs,
our knees are apart,
pelvis contracted forward...
And release.
Good!
Forward...
And release.
Isn't that what got you gals
into this mess?
Now, did everyone read their
chapter on shallow breathing?
Okay, well,
let's give it a try, shall we?
No, you're overbreathing...
Shorter breaths.
Good.
No, Carol, that's too deep.
Good!
Rachelle, you're gasping.
Now he's got it perfectly!
No, Rachelle, you're gasping!
That's not gasping!
I think she's going into labor!
- What's goin' on?
- It's Rachelle. She's in labor!
- My god!
- This is a nightmare!
Get away from me!
Don't touch me!
You know, when I hear her say
those things again,
I almost miss her.
My god.
I've never seen anyone
in labor before.
I mean, it's overwhelming.
Hey, check it out...
This lamaze pamphlet
has pictures.
These are really gross.
I like 'em.
It started low, you know,
kind of a-a tightening thing.
And then it began to spread
like a wave, a wave, a wave,
washing the contraction
over her body
and then throbbing palpitations
sweeping down her legs.
My god.
I think I'm having a labor pain.
Welp, I got to go!
Charley!
I'm serious,
I'm feeling real pain.
Yes! Yes! I'm sure this is it!
I'm in labor!
- You are? My god!
- Where's your father?
- At the clinic.
Take me to the hospital.
- Okay, what do I get?
- Typical...
I should've known
you'd want something!
All right, all right,
they give a free cd player
to everyone who brings in
a pregnant woman.
Now take me!
Take me!
Carol, maybe we should call 911.
I can't, they know my voice.
Push! Push! Push!
Harry.
Ed.
She's out of her mind.
Yes, I know that.
- I checked her.
She's not in labor.
It's a first baby.
It's not gonna be early.
And who the hell is this yahoo
running around
demanding a cd player?
That would be, my...
Goodness, beats me.
I don't know.
The head!
I feel the head!
- I'll go tell her.
- No, ed, ed, ed, look...
If it's all the same to you,
why don't we just let her
wear herself out
for a little while?
My!
Sophia!
- Hi, Harry.
Did you have an accident?
No.
I was playing touch football
with Rose Kennedy.
What, are you some kind of yutz?
I slipped at the supermarket.
So I heard, Carol's here.
How is she?
- It's another false alarm.
She's not in labor.
- Daddy, come quick!
- I think it's coming out sideways!
You, nutcase, enough!
Listen, Sophia,
how would you like to be my
guest at the opera next Friday?
- I can't.
- Okay.
Hey, hey, don't give up so easy.
I'm playin' hard to get here.
Daddy!
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
Hey! Tall, dark,
and bent over, wait up!
Hey, wait up!
Hey! Hey, wait up!
- Daddy. Daddy.
- Is that you, daddy?
- Yes, dear.
Yes, yes, yes, dear.
It's me, yes, dear.
Listen, um, um, I was just
talking to your doctor
and I have some...
I have some bad news.
What are you trying
to say, daddy?
- Carol, you're... you're...
You're not having a baby.
I see.
So then I'm just incredibly fat.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just meant that you're
not having a baby right now.
You're having
Braxton Hicks contractions,
it's kind of a...
False labor.
False?
This labor is false?
Mother of god! Then what are
real contractions like?
Tell me.
Tell me now.
I've got to know.
- Well, sweetheart, I...
You know, I have to say they...
They're kind of...
They're kind of stronger.
Stronger?
Stronger than this?
- And... and...
And they last l-longer.
And they last...?
Okay, that's it.
I'm not doing this.
I'm not having this baby.
- Carol...
Call someone right now.
I am not going
through with this.
This should be against the law!
I want a lawyer.
- Carol, please...
- And god!
I demand to speak to god!
Now I know you're a man,
because a woman would never do
this to one of her own.
Sweetheart...
Yeah, I'll be free that evening.
In fact, I'll be free every
evening for the next two weeks.
No, no, some loser
will be taking over
the night shift.
So...
How many tickets have you sold?
Look, Harry, if you're
uncomfortable with this,
I say we just call off
this whole bet thing.
Well, you know, I mean,
this kind of competition
really isn't in the spirit of
charity, so maybe you're right.
We should...
We should call it off.
- Ha!
Not a chance.
All right.
Surprise, doctor!
What is this?
Well, it's just
somethin' we ordered
to help celebrate
Carol's big event.
It just arrived.
Open it.
- Gee, you guys.
Come on.
I don't get it.
It's personalized
license plates.
It says "gramps."
It says "cramps"!
Laverne!
It was the closest thing
I could get!
"Gramps" was taken!
Well, it looks like three
for me, only two for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know how you say
to yourself sometimes,
"hey, where do all
the rich babes go at night?"
Well, jackpot.
Charley, sit down.
Three for me.
Looks like a tie.
Better start restin' up
for that late shift, gramps.
Man, those guys stink.
- It's a zoo out there...
45 women, 2 stalls.
I had to yell "fire"
in the men's room.
We're even.
Hey, pal, up here!
A burrito and two brewskies!
- Charley, sit down!
The man is renting
opera glasses.
Well, then he should be able
to see me.
Yo! Four eyes!
Hey, beer! Beer here!
Charley.
I don't feel very good.
- Of course not.
You must be exhausted.
You've been faking labor pains
for a week.
Daddy...
Daddy, I'm having my baby.
Okeydokey, just try
to keep it quiet, dear.
You know, it's like
they're singing everything!
Charley, come on,
just shush... quiet!
Well, I can't understand it.
It's Italian!
- Great!
- Whose brilliant idea was that?
Daddy...
Hey, shamu, pipe down!
I will kill
the next person who talks.
Not to get killed or anything,
but Carol's complaints
are comin' every two minute.
What?
- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.
Better get my bag.
- Okay, all right.
Sweetie, let me see.
Let me look at you.
All right,
you're a bit... yeah...
Charley, would you get up,
please, and move those chairs?
Come here, baby,
come on, come here.
Come on, come over here.
Come to me, sweetheart.
Good girl, good girl.
Charley, get behind her.
Now just lie down, baby.
What? Here?
No! Why can't we go
to the hospital?
Just... just do
what I'm telling you, dear, now,
because you're having a baby,
and it's now.
What the hell is goin' on
up there?
Somethin' a whole lot
more interestin'
than what's goin' on down there!
You know, Carol, when
you lie on your back like that,
your face looks a lot younger.
- Daddy, it's coming.
I can feel it. It's coming.
Okay, all right, all right.
She's ready.
Um...
Go get me some newspapers
or some towels.
Try to find me some scissors.
Tell the management what's going
on here and call an ambulance.
- That's too many things.
- I'll do it!
Well, I get to call
the ambulance!
I wish Maxine were here
to do it. You're my father.
I don't care who does it!
Just get that baby out of there!
All right, okay, now,
remember your breathing!
Breathe, baby.
Yeah, good.
- God! God!
- The pain! The pain!
Now comes the good part.
Lucia has gone mad, and Edgar's
about to kill himself.
Hey, I can't hear!
Knock it off!
- Baby, you're okay.
- Ambulance is on it's way.
Here you go.
- Thank you very much.
Okay, baby.
- I need to push.
- It's okay.
- I need to push.
- All right...
- Come on! Shut up up there!
Here it comes now.
- Breathe.
- There you go, dear.
Come on, it's coming!
- Okay, I called the...
- Ee!
All right...
Here we go!
Aw! Look how purty!
It's a boy!
You had a boy!
- And baby makes five!
I win!
Boy, you'll do anything
to win that bet!
Thank you.
Libby, dear...
We're grandparents.
And he's perfect.
I checked him out myself.
You know, I wasn't sure I was
ready to be a grandpa,
but...
It just... it feels so good.
Wish you were here.
Hey, you.
Hey, pay attention!
Hey, your grandfather's
speaking.
I don't know what path
you'll choose in life,
but whatever it is,
I wish you...
Health...
Love, and prosperity.
And maybe someday
you can get your mother...
Her own house.
Carol, it was a miracle.
I never experienced
anything so beautiful
and moving in my life.
It brought tears to my eyes.
Charley,
this is a wondrous thing.
Who would've thought
that someone like you
could be so affected
by the birth of a child?
What birth?
I just nailed a nurse
in the utility closet.
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Guess what I've got.
Liver spots.
No.
Bird legs!
Laverne, you'll never get it.
- Opera tickets.
- Op...
How did you know that?
It's a gift.
So, Laverne, you gonna buy
those opera tickets
from me or what?
Come on, Maxine, we shouldn't
be competing with each other
to try to sell these tickets.
Yeah.
I liked it better last year
when we had
that celebrity auction.
Only problem was nobody knew
a celebrity.
So Dr. Ogilvy
donated a bic pen
and said it belonged
to patsy cline.
Some nut bought it for 26 bucks.
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www.flixify.app
♪ Life goes on
♪ and so do we
♪ I'm always here
♪ for anything you need...
♪ ...rain or shine
♪ I'll be the one...
♪ ...we share it all
♪ as life goes on
Come on, Laverne,
how many opera tickets
can I put you down for?
I told Dr. Douglas
I have plans for that night.
- Well, cancel them.
This is very important.
Look, the proceeds
from this performance
go to clinics all over the city.
Now, if we don't support it,
how can we ask other people to?
You're absolutely right.
Dr. Douglas,
put me down for one ticket.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What?
That's one more
for the good guys.
She asked me first.
But, Laverne, we've known
each other for 8 years.
Then why did you wait
till the last minute to ask me?
So how many tickets
have you sold?
- So far, I don't know.
- I really haven't kept track.
Could be anywheres up to
30.
Up to 30?
- Well, I said I'm guessing.
Could be 30, could be 20.
Could be one.
Could be one.
That is, I mean,
one that I'm absolutely sure of.
You're not real good
at this, are you?
Don't you worry
what I'm good at.
I'll bet by next Friday,
I sell more tickets that you do.
You're on!
Loser has to work the late shift
for the next two weeks.
- Two weeks?
Why not four weeks?
Why not eight weeks?
Why not six months?
- You're on.
- Yeah, two weeks is good.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Come on, come on!
- Come on, what? What, what?
- Carol's having her baby!
Carol's having the baby where?
- On the phone!
I'll get your jacket!
No, I have my jacket!
- I'll get your car!
- No!
Get my car!
H-hi, sweetheart.
Okay.
You're right? Good.
No.
No, no, don't worry.
No, I'll... I'll meet you
at the hospital.
Right. Bye!
My god.
Carol's in labor.
What do you want me to do?
- Call the hospital and...
- And tell them I'm on my way.
How's Carol getting
to the hospital?
She says she's got that handled.
- God!
- I can't find my car keys!
Daddy!
Thank you.
And thank you.
And thank you.
She called all those people?
Plus the cable guy.
Anyway, she's not dilated.
There's no contractions at all.
I think this labor's
all in her head.
Okay!
Let's have this baby!
Doctors...
I'm ready for my fetal monitor!
No, hey, hey, hey...
Why don't you let me
handle this?
- My pleasure.
- Thank you.
Hey!
- Hi, daddy!
You know, daddy,
this is not half as bad
as I thought it was gonna be.
I mean, yes,
I'm a little uncomfortable,
but what is that compared
to the joy of giving life?
Why do women complain so
about labor?
Well, they... they complain,
dear, because they're actually...
In labor.
I'm in labor.
- No.
No, you're not.
I don't understand.
Sweetheart, I mean, a lot
of things can indicate labor...
Shortness of breath,
a rise in temperature, but...
The one common denominator
that most women look for,
the one... the one thing that
will confirm their suspicions
virtually all the time is...
Pain.
Pain?
Now, did you feel pain?
Twinges...
Painful twinges.
I see, and this led you to
believe that you were in labor?
Yes.
Let me put it to you
another way.
Could you right now
kill me, your father,
for a shot of morphine?
No.
Well, when you can,
we'll talk labor.
- I'll be right there.
Don't start without me.
Sophia, you have to come.
Lamaze class is starting,
and you're my coach.
You're at a funeral...
I'm sorry.
Sophia...
Sophia!
Sophia, why are all those people
yelling "bingo"?
I don't know about this, Carol.
Charley, I have called
everyone I know,
and you are elected.
Believe me, I would rather have
Andrew Dice Clay as my coach.
Carol, I don't belong here.
I never know what to say
to a pregnant woman...
I mean, besides,
you know, "sorry."
Just keep your mouth shut
and try not to embarrass me.
Hey, I think I slept
with that girl.
Is everybody ready?
Okay, we'd like to thank
Carol Weston
for the use of her home tonight.
Thank you, Carol.
And, Carol,
would you like to introduce
your alternate coach
to the class?
- No, no, nope, nope.
No, thanks. I'm fine.
Hey, babe.
My god.
This is unbelievable.
Relax, Carol,
it was a long time ago.
I barely remember it.
I'm sure she doesn't either.
September 12, 1986...
I was out of my mind
on medication.
I had a fever of 104.
All I remember is...
That was one hot babe.
Well, then, let's review
some of our exercises,
starting with the push.
We're on our backs,
our knees are apart,
pelvis contracted forward...
And release.
Good!
Forward...
And release.
Isn't that what got you gals
into this mess?
Now, did everyone read their
chapter on shallow breathing?
Okay, well,
let's give it a try, shall we?
No, you're overbreathing...
Shorter breaths.
Good.
No, Carol, that's too deep.
Good!
Rachelle, you're gasping.
Now he's got it perfectly!
No, Rachelle, you're gasping!
That's not gasping!
I think she's going into labor!
- What's goin' on?
- It's Rachelle. She's in labor!
- My god!
- This is a nightmare!
Get away from me!
Don't touch me!
You know, when I hear her say
those things again,
I almost miss her.
My god.
I've never seen anyone
in labor before.
I mean, it's overwhelming.
Hey, check it out...
This lamaze pamphlet
has pictures.
These are really gross.
I like 'em.
It started low, you know,
kind of a-a tightening thing.
And then it began to spread
like a wave, a wave, a wave,
washing the contraction
over her body
and then throbbing palpitations
sweeping down her legs.
My god.
I think I'm having a labor pain.
Welp, I got to go!
Charley!
I'm serious,
I'm feeling real pain.
Yes! Yes! I'm sure this is it!
I'm in labor!
- You are? My god!
- Where's your father?
- At the clinic.
Take me to the hospital.
- Okay, what do I get?
- Typical...
I should've known
you'd want something!
All right, all right,
they give a free cd player
to everyone who brings in
a pregnant woman.
Now take me!
Take me!
Carol, maybe we should call 911.
I can't, they know my voice.
Push! Push! Push!
Harry.
Ed.
She's out of her mind.
Yes, I know that.
- I checked her.
She's not in labor.
It's a first baby.
It's not gonna be early.
And who the hell is this yahoo
running around
demanding a cd player?
That would be, my...
Goodness, beats me.
I don't know.
The head!
I feel the head!
- I'll go tell her.
- No, ed, ed, ed, look...
If it's all the same to you,
why don't we just let her
wear herself out
for a little while?
My!
Sophia!
- Hi, Harry.
Did you have an accident?
No.
I was playing touch football
with Rose Kennedy.
What, are you some kind of yutz?
I slipped at the supermarket.
So I heard, Carol's here.
How is she?
- It's another false alarm.
She's not in labor.
- Daddy, come quick!
- I think it's coming out sideways!
You, nutcase, enough!
Listen, Sophia,
how would you like to be my
guest at the opera next Friday?
- I can't.
- Okay.
Hey, hey, don't give up so easy.
I'm playin' hard to get here.
Daddy!
- Excuse me.
- No problem.
Hey! Tall, dark,
and bent over, wait up!
Hey, wait up!
Hey! Hey, wait up!
- Daddy. Daddy.
- Is that you, daddy?
- Yes, dear.
Yes, yes, yes, dear.
It's me, yes, dear.
Listen, um, um, I was just
talking to your doctor
and I have some...
I have some bad news.
What are you trying
to say, daddy?
- Carol, you're... you're...
You're not having a baby.
I see.
So then I'm just incredibly fat.
No, no, no, no, no.
I just meant that you're
not having a baby right now.
You're having
Braxton Hicks contractions,
it's kind of a...
False labor.
False?
This labor is false?
Mother of god! Then what are
real contractions like?
Tell me.
Tell me now.
I've got to know.
- Well, sweetheart, I...
You know, I have to say they...
They're kind of...
They're kind of stronger.
Stronger?
Stronger than this?
- And... and...
And they last l-longer.
And they last...?
Okay, that's it.
I'm not doing this.
I'm not having this baby.
- Carol...
Call someone right now.
I am not going
through with this.
This should be against the law!
I want a lawyer.
- Carol, please...
- And god!
I demand to speak to god!
Now I know you're a man,
because a woman would never do
this to one of her own.
Sweetheart...
Yeah, I'll be free that evening.
In fact, I'll be free every
evening for the next two weeks.
No, no, some loser
will be taking over
the night shift.
So...
How many tickets have you sold?
Look, Harry, if you're
uncomfortable with this,
I say we just call off
this whole bet thing.
Well, you know, I mean,
this kind of competition
really isn't in the spirit of
charity, so maybe you're right.
We should...
We should call it off.
- Ha!
Not a chance.
All right.
Surprise, doctor!
What is this?
Well, it's just
somethin' we ordered
to help celebrate
Carol's big event.
It just arrived.
Open it.
- Gee, you guys.
Come on.
I don't get it.
It's personalized
license plates.
It says "gramps."
It says "cramps"!
Laverne!
It was the closest thing
I could get!
"Gramps" was taken!
Well, it looks like three
for me, only two for you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know how you say
to yourself sometimes,
"hey, where do all
the rich babes go at night?"
Well, jackpot.
Charley, sit down.
Three for me.
Looks like a tie.
Better start restin' up
for that late shift, gramps.
Man, those guys stink.
- It's a zoo out there...
45 women, 2 stalls.
I had to yell "fire"
in the men's room.
We're even.
Hey, pal, up here!
A burrito and two brewskies!
- Charley, sit down!
The man is renting
opera glasses.
Well, then he should be able
to see me.
Yo! Four eyes!
Hey, beer! Beer here!
Charley.
I don't feel very good.
- Of course not.
You must be exhausted.
You've been faking labor pains
for a week.
Daddy...
Daddy, I'm having my baby.
Okeydokey, just try
to keep it quiet, dear.
You know, it's like
they're singing everything!
Charley, come on,
just shush... quiet!
Well, I can't understand it.
It's Italian!
- Great!
- Whose brilliant idea was that?
Daddy...
Hey, shamu, pipe down!
I will kill
the next person who talks.
Not to get killed or anything,
but Carol's complaints
are comin' every two minute.
What?
- Are you sure?
- I'm positive.
Better get my bag.
- Okay, all right.
Sweetie, let me see.
Let me look at you.
All right,
you're a bit... yeah...
Charley, would you get up,
please, and move those chairs?
Come here, baby,
come on, come here.
Come on, come over here.
Come to me, sweetheart.
Good girl, good girl.
Charley, get behind her.
Now just lie down, baby.
What? Here?
No! Why can't we go
to the hospital?
Just... just do
what I'm telling you, dear, now,
because you're having a baby,
and it's now.
What the hell is goin' on
up there?
Somethin' a whole lot
more interestin'
than what's goin' on down there!
You know, Carol, when
you lie on your back like that,
your face looks a lot younger.
- Daddy, it's coming.
I can feel it. It's coming.
Okay, all right, all right.
She's ready.
Um...
Go get me some newspapers
or some towels.
Try to find me some scissors.
Tell the management what's going
on here and call an ambulance.
- That's too many things.
- I'll do it!
Well, I get to call
the ambulance!
I wish Maxine were here
to do it. You're my father.
I don't care who does it!
Just get that baby out of there!
All right, okay, now,
remember your breathing!
Breathe, baby.
Yeah, good.
- God! God!
- The pain! The pain!
Now comes the good part.
Lucia has gone mad, and Edgar's
about to kill himself.
Hey, I can't hear!
Knock it off!
- Baby, you're okay.
- Ambulance is on it's way.
Here you go.
- Thank you very much.
Okay, baby.
- I need to push.
- It's okay.
- I need to push.
- All right...
- Come on! Shut up up there!
Here it comes now.
- Breathe.
- There you go, dear.
Come on, it's coming!
- Okay, I called the...
- Ee!
All right...
Here we go!
Aw! Look how purty!
It's a boy!
You had a boy!
- And baby makes five!
I win!
Boy, you'll do anything
to win that bet!
Thank you.
Libby, dear...
We're grandparents.
And he's perfect.
I checked him out myself.
You know, I wasn't sure I was
ready to be a grandpa,
but...
It just... it feels so good.
Wish you were here.
Hey, you.
Hey, pay attention!
Hey, your grandfather's
speaking.
I don't know what path
you'll choose in life,
but whatever it is,
I wish you...
Health...
Love, and prosperity.
And maybe someday
you can get your mother...
Her own house.
Carol, it was a miracle.
I never experienced
anything so beautiful
and moving in my life.
It brought tears to my eyes.
Charley,
this is a wondrous thing.
Who would've thought
that someone like you
could be so affected
by the birth of a child?
What birth?
I just nailed a nurse
in the utility closet.
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