Dwight in Shining Armor (2018–2021): Season 5, Episode 9 - The Finale Part 1 - full transcript
Dwight in left reeling in the absence of the Rogemorians. But when he sees an emergency signal while on a field trip, he realizes his time with his friends may not be over.
Dwight: Previously
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
Gretta: [frustrated noise]
- I know Hammond's plan.
Gretta: What?
Baldric: He's building
a scrying pool.
Ragana: It's ready!
Mr. Hammond: Finally,
we're going home!
Chlodwig: The villain means
to return to Rogemore of old.
Mr. Hammond: And there's nothing
you can do to stop it.
Dwight: You know what we need?
A bat signal.
- Ah-ha!
Like this one.
A simple and
straight forward way
for a princess to say
to her champion,
come at once, I am in peril.
- Quickly, we still have time.
Gretta: We enter
the scrying pool...
Baldric: We cannot come back.
- [emotional]
We must say goodbye.
You will always be
my champion.
- Gretta, I--
[pulse]
Ms. Hernandez?
- Question, Dwight?
- N-no.
No, I'm okay.
Ms. Hernandez: Okay,
remember our field trip
to the hieroglyph
tomorrow afternoon,
wear boots and lots and lots
and lots of bug spray.
There are mosquitoes
in these woods
the size of bald eagles.
Also bring pen, pencil,
notebook, and bug spray.
I cannot stress this enough.
- Hey, hey, Zeke.
You seen Gretta?
- Who?
[bell rings]
Ms. Hernandez: 'Kay, bye guys!
Zeke: Hey Dwight!
Bring your camera tomorrow.
Dwight: Huh?
Zeke: For the hieroglyph.
I'm seeing a front page story
for the Daily Woodchuck.
I'll write it, you shoot it.
All right?
Charles: Oh, hey,
can we get that fake blood
by tomorrow?
Dwight: Huh?
For Lady MacBeth's hands,
we need to test it
and make sure
it doesn't stain or anything,
blah.
Dwight: Um, I'm sorry, Charles,
what are you talking about?
- The fake blood.
Dude, just bring it tomorrow to
the drama room at like 3:30.
Okay?
Okay, cool.
I gotta go, so just, thank you.
♪
♪
♪
- You will always be
my champion.
[pulse]
♪
[wheels rattling]
[wheels rattling]
Chlodwig: What men among you
have the courage to join me
in battle?
♪
♪
[bike dropping]
- Ha, ha!
Oh, look at what I found,
Sir Dwight!
[phone notification]
- Hey, honey bear.
What's wrong?
- It's, it's empty.
The house next door.
Nana: Yeah, the Jones
priced it way too high.
They're never gonna find
a buyer,
so I'm at the costume shop,
you think three bags
of fake blood
is gonna be enough?
- They're gone.
Nana: Dwight?
Like they were never even here.
Nana: Sweetie.
You okay?
Did something happen?
Dwight: NO!
No, it didn't happen.
None of it happened
and nobody remembers!
But me.
Nana: Honey.
Dwight: I'll be home later.
I love you.
[beep]
♪
Baldric: Whither are we bound?
Dwight: Woodside High.
Chlodwig and Dwight: [grunting]
Baldric: Faster!
[crash]
- A thousand pardons.
- You pair of poopnoddys!
All: [speaking Wyvernese]
Hexela: Oh, magical.
Dwight: We did it, Gretta.
Gretta: [giggles]
♪
You're a rare person,
Sir Dwight.
[twang]
- Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Snakes everywhere!
[sounds of distress]
[forest sounds]
[forest sounds]
[forest sounds]
[magical sounds]
[magical sounds]
- You're the queen.
You're Gretta's mom.
Queen: Hail, Sir Dwight,
Desolator of the Undead.
- J-just Dwight is cool.
Queen: We haven't much time.
Soon you'll awaken.
- Oh, I'm asleep.
Queen: When you awaken,
you must remember,
promise me.
- 'Kay.
- Bring her back.
- I don't know how.
- Bring her back.
[echoey] Bring her back.
[forest sounds]
[spraying]
Charles: Hey, Dwight! Hey!
How many bags of fake blood
did you get?
- Oh, uh, three,
they're in my locker.
- Okay,
so one for MacBeth,
one for Lady MacBeth,
and Duncan and Banquo
can just share.
3:30, today, in the drama room.
Thank you.
Bring your receipts.
You're the best!
[chatter]
[chatter]
♪
Dwight: Chlodwig, will you
slap me super hard, please?
Ugh.
- Oh dear.
If you were a proper champion
you would undertake
the rescue yourself.
Gretta: [fake laughing]
And may he be known forevermore
as Sir Dwight,
Desolator of the Undead.
[spraying]
Ms. Hernandez: As you know
Woodside was established
twenty years ago
when the first city planners
cleared sections of the woods
for the development
of commercial and
residential real estate,
but prior to that,
these woods were untouched
by human hands
for can anybody tell me
how long?
- A thousand years.
Ms. Hernandez:
Lucky guess, Dwight.
Okay, everyone, hydrate,
we still have a bit of a hike
before we get to the hieroglyph.
Zeke: Oh, you got your camera?
Dwight: Oh, uh.
[zip]
Yeah, yeah.
Zeke: Good, good.
We gotta find the hook
for this hieroglyph story.
I'm thinking primitive humans
carved rocks in Woodside Woods
or maybe history students
brave mosquitoes
to see ancient rock art.
Huh?
- Huh!
Gretta: Ah, floof.
Eberulf: [happy noises]
Gretta: [coughs]
Dwight: You know what we need?
A bat signal.
- Ah ha!
For a princess to say
to her champion,
come at once, I am in peril.
Sir Dwight!
[gasp]
Dwight: Ah.
[thud]
Baldric: Ah, ha, ha!
You did it, Sir Dwight!
- You just saved my life.
[clapping]
- Here we are, Woodchucks!
Gather around,
make a circle, everyone.
I want everybody to see this.
I give you
the Woodside hieroglyph.
Oh.
Historians believe
this was carved roughly
a thousand years ago.
Doesn't it look like a--
Dwight: Bat.
Ms. Hernandez: Yes.
There are the wings,
there's the face.
But why a bat?
Especially because,
and this is
the craziest part,
this type of bat is not native
to these woods.
Zeke: So, what does it mean?
Ms. Hernandez: Right?
- Come quick!
I'm in trouble.
Ms. Hernandez: Amazing.
Are you guys seeing this?
Wow.
[happy noise]
[clapping]
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
♪ Something
no one else can do. ♪
♪ Something no one else
can see. ♪
[fireworks]
♪ And I want you, ♪
♪ I want you to know
all I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
♪ Darling,
now that you've got me. ♪
♪ Tell me that
you want me too. ♪
[grunting]
[cracking]
Ah, floof.
Ah!
Ahhhh!
[groaning]
[panting]
Ow.
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
[kiss]
Singers: ♪ I want you. ♪
♪ I want you to know. ♪
♪ All I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
[footsteps]
Baldric: [clears throat]
Stop it.
[clears throat]
Oh! There you are.
So, I take it
you received our bat.
Hm?
Dwight: Yeah, yeah.
- Yes.
- We, I did.
- Good.
Dwight: Good thinking, guys.
Baldric: Excellent, well done.
Ah.
- Baldric!
Your scepter is back.
Baldric: Ha! Indeed it is!
- Were it not
for Baldric and his scepter,
we would not have been able
to cast the champion spell
again...
like we did.
- Highness, I beg your leave.
I must go.
Gretta: I know you must.
Dwight: You do?
He does?
Where is he going?
Where are you going?
Baldric: Sir Dwight,
will know what to do.
Dwight: Huh?
Baldric: He has the answer.
- Uhhhh.
Gretta: Now, Baldric,
while there's still time.
Dwight: Time for what?
- To save Hexela.
Hexela: [breathing heavily]
[straining]
[straining]
[straining]
- NO!!!
Ragana: [scream]
Get it off!
Get it off!
Get it off!
[frustrated huff]
He wouldn't.
- He would.
Ragana: He didn't.
Hammond: He did.
- If he would,
and if he did,
how long have we been asleep
this time?
Hexela: Hm,
I'd say
about a thousand years...
Sweetums.
[lazy chuckle]
Dwight: Gretta, I thought
I lost you forever.
Gretta: I knew you'd come.
Dwight: What happened?
You went
through the time machine pool
to stop Hammond.
Gretta: I wish it could have
been that simple.
We came
through the scrying pool
and found ourselves
in the castle.
Before the siege began.
[sobbing]
I'm never gonna see him again.
Baldric: Sh.
[emotional] I am so sorry.
- We must ready the castle.
Hammond is coming.
We gathered provisions
for the siege.
Dwight: Salted fish and hogs?
Gretta: Exactly.
Chlodwig set off
through enemy lines
to bring Aunt Ermingarde
to our aid.
Dwight: Oh, how did that go?
Gretta: We've had no word
from him.
Dwight: Oh.
Gretta: And Baldric went
to search the woods for Hexela.
♪
♪
♪
- Forgive me, Majesty.
[magical surge]
[thud]
Your Majesty.
- Hail, Baldric.
My dear friend.
Baldric: How are you?
What happened?
You were..I...
turned you...
my spell.
Majesty, forgive me.
- There is nothing to forgive.
You made me a promise
that you would protect Gretta.
And you have kept it.
- [sob]
- Hammond is coming.
Baldric: And I will be ready
for him.
- No, Baldric.
This is not your fight.
Baldric: But, Majesty.
- You must go back,
find the champion,
he will know what to do.
- [grunting]
Gretta: We knew we had
to find our way back to you.
Dwight: Because your mom
talked to Baldric in a dream.
Gretta: Exactly.
Dwight: Does your mom talk
to people in dreams often?
Gretta: Just this once.
- Twice.
She talked to me too.
After you guys jumped
into the scrying pool,
I went to see her
because I guess she was all
that was left of you
and I, that's not important.
The point is,
I fell asleep
and I met your mom
and we talked,
and she was super queenly
and intense and she told me
that I had to remember
what she said when I woke up.
- What did she say?
Dwight: She said,
"Bring her back."
- That's it?
Dwight: Well, clearly your mom
wants us together.
I, I mean in the same time,
teamed up, with, to beat, yeah.
- So it seems.
Her message to Baldric
was adamant.
Find the champion,
he will know what to do.
- Okay, so about that.
Gretta: So, we carved a bat
without delay.
Did you like it?
Dwight: Yeah, it was great.
Good job.
Gretta: Hammond prepared
his stone soldiers,
Ragana captured Hexela--
- Whoa! What?
Gretta: That's another story
completely,
but suffice it to say
there was no time to wait.
Baldric cast
the champion spell, again
and here we are.
Are you happy to see us?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm,
of course,
it's just that Gretta,
your mom said that I would
know how to defeat Hammond.
- Yes.
- Well, uh,
if I'm totally honest,
I don't.
I have no idea.
- Let's away, quickly,
to Woodside High.
- Why Woodside High?
Gretta: We agreed to meet there
upon our return,
to make our stand.
[phone notification]
- The fake blood!
- Pardon?
- Let's go, come on.
Drama room, Woodside High.
Quick march.
Gretta: Uh.
[insistent vocalizations]
Ragana: Where's my handbag?
And where's my shoe?
[frustrated growl]
When I find Baldric,
that furry-faced fopdoodle.
Hexela: [laugh]
- What's so funny?
Hexela: Oh, you, Ragana.
Bested once again,
by that furry -faced fopdoodle.
Ragana: Okay,
it wasn't bested, all right.
- Mm.
Ragana: Don't forget we know
how to build a scrying pool.
We'll go back to the past
like we did before.
Hexela: And then we'll just
follow you like we did before.
And Baldric will cast
a champion spell,
like he did before.
We could do this forever, love.
- No.
We're not going back
to Rogemore.
Uh.
We're going to build it,
right here.
In all its glory and might,
but this time we'll have
indoor plumbing
and electricity
and ranch dressing!
- Mm!
- [exhales]
And I will be its king.
There's just one little princess
standing in my way.
- [smug chuckle]
- Where are they?
- Who?
Who?
Hammond: My soldiers!
♪
♪
[intense music]
We still have a bargain.
- 'Tis true,
you'll have your army.
- When?
- Sundown.
- Good.
I'll be back.
Ragana: Where are you going?
- To find my niece.
♪
on Dwight in Shining Armor.
Gretta: [frustrated noise]
- I know Hammond's plan.
Gretta: What?
Baldric: He's building
a scrying pool.
Ragana: It's ready!
Mr. Hammond: Finally,
we're going home!
Chlodwig: The villain means
to return to Rogemore of old.
Mr. Hammond: And there's nothing
you can do to stop it.
Dwight: You know what we need?
A bat signal.
- Ah-ha!
Like this one.
A simple and
straight forward way
for a princess to say
to her champion,
come at once, I am in peril.
- Quickly, we still have time.
Gretta: We enter
the scrying pool...
Baldric: We cannot come back.
- [emotional]
We must say goodbye.
You will always be
my champion.
- Gretta, I--
[pulse]
Ms. Hernandez?
- Question, Dwight?
- N-no.
No, I'm okay.
Ms. Hernandez: Okay,
remember our field trip
to the hieroglyph
tomorrow afternoon,
wear boots and lots and lots
and lots of bug spray.
There are mosquitoes
in these woods
the size of bald eagles.
Also bring pen, pencil,
notebook, and bug spray.
I cannot stress this enough.
- Hey, hey, Zeke.
You seen Gretta?
- Who?
[bell rings]
Ms. Hernandez: 'Kay, bye guys!
Zeke: Hey Dwight!
Bring your camera tomorrow.
Dwight: Huh?
Zeke: For the hieroglyph.
I'm seeing a front page story
for the Daily Woodchuck.
I'll write it, you shoot it.
All right?
Charles: Oh, hey,
can we get that fake blood
by tomorrow?
Dwight: Huh?
For Lady MacBeth's hands,
we need to test it
and make sure
it doesn't stain or anything,
blah.
Dwight: Um, I'm sorry, Charles,
what are you talking about?
- The fake blood.
Dude, just bring it tomorrow to
the drama room at like 3:30.
Okay?
Okay, cool.
I gotta go, so just, thank you.
♪
♪
♪
- You will always be
my champion.
[pulse]
♪
[wheels rattling]
[wheels rattling]
Chlodwig: What men among you
have the courage to join me
in battle?
♪
♪
[bike dropping]
- Ha, ha!
Oh, look at what I found,
Sir Dwight!
[phone notification]
- Hey, honey bear.
What's wrong?
- It's, it's empty.
The house next door.
Nana: Yeah, the Jones
priced it way too high.
They're never gonna find
a buyer,
so I'm at the costume shop,
you think three bags
of fake blood
is gonna be enough?
- They're gone.
Nana: Dwight?
Like they were never even here.
Nana: Sweetie.
You okay?
Did something happen?
Dwight: NO!
No, it didn't happen.
None of it happened
and nobody remembers!
But me.
Nana: Honey.
Dwight: I'll be home later.
I love you.
[beep]
♪
Baldric: Whither are we bound?
Dwight: Woodside High.
Chlodwig and Dwight: [grunting]
Baldric: Faster!
[crash]
- A thousand pardons.
- You pair of poopnoddys!
All: [speaking Wyvernese]
Hexela: Oh, magical.
Dwight: We did it, Gretta.
Gretta: [giggles]
♪
You're a rare person,
Sir Dwight.
[twang]
- Ah! Ah!
Ah!
Ah!
Snakes everywhere!
[sounds of distress]
[forest sounds]
[forest sounds]
[forest sounds]
[magical sounds]
[magical sounds]
- You're the queen.
You're Gretta's mom.
Queen: Hail, Sir Dwight,
Desolator of the Undead.
- J-just Dwight is cool.
Queen: We haven't much time.
Soon you'll awaken.
- Oh, I'm asleep.
Queen: When you awaken,
you must remember,
promise me.
- 'Kay.
- Bring her back.
- I don't know how.
- Bring her back.
[echoey] Bring her back.
[forest sounds]
[spraying]
Charles: Hey, Dwight! Hey!
How many bags of fake blood
did you get?
- Oh, uh, three,
they're in my locker.
- Okay,
so one for MacBeth,
one for Lady MacBeth,
and Duncan and Banquo
can just share.
3:30, today, in the drama room.
Thank you.
Bring your receipts.
You're the best!
[chatter]
[chatter]
♪
Dwight: Chlodwig, will you
slap me super hard, please?
Ugh.
- Oh dear.
If you were a proper champion
you would undertake
the rescue yourself.
Gretta: [fake laughing]
And may he be known forevermore
as Sir Dwight,
Desolator of the Undead.
[spraying]
Ms. Hernandez: As you know
Woodside was established
twenty years ago
when the first city planners
cleared sections of the woods
for the development
of commercial and
residential real estate,
but prior to that,
these woods were untouched
by human hands
for can anybody tell me
how long?
- A thousand years.
Ms. Hernandez:
Lucky guess, Dwight.
Okay, everyone, hydrate,
we still have a bit of a hike
before we get to the hieroglyph.
Zeke: Oh, you got your camera?
Dwight: Oh, uh.
[zip]
Yeah, yeah.
Zeke: Good, good.
We gotta find the hook
for this hieroglyph story.
I'm thinking primitive humans
carved rocks in Woodside Woods
or maybe history students
brave mosquitoes
to see ancient rock art.
Huh?
- Huh!
Gretta: Ah, floof.
Eberulf: [happy noises]
Gretta: [coughs]
Dwight: You know what we need?
A bat signal.
- Ah ha!
For a princess to say
to her champion,
come at once, I am in peril.
Sir Dwight!
[gasp]
Dwight: Ah.
[thud]
Baldric: Ah, ha, ha!
You did it, Sir Dwight!
- You just saved my life.
[clapping]
- Here we are, Woodchucks!
Gather around,
make a circle, everyone.
I want everybody to see this.
I give you
the Woodside hieroglyph.
Oh.
Historians believe
this was carved roughly
a thousand years ago.
Doesn't it look like a--
Dwight: Bat.
Ms. Hernandez: Yes.
There are the wings,
there's the face.
But why a bat?
Especially because,
and this is
the craziest part,
this type of bat is not native
to these woods.
Zeke: So, what does it mean?
Ms. Hernandez: Right?
- Come quick!
I'm in trouble.
Ms. Hernandez: Amazing.
Are you guys seeing this?
Wow.
[happy noise]
[clapping]
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
♪ Something
no one else can do. ♪
♪ Something no one else
can see. ♪
[fireworks]
♪ And I want you, ♪
♪ I want you to know
all I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
♪ Everyone's got something. ♪
♪ Darling,
now that you've got me. ♪
♪ Tell me that
you want me too. ♪
[grunting]
[cracking]
Ah, floof.
Ah!
Ahhhh!
[groaning]
[panting]
Ow.
♪
♪
♪
♪
♪
[kiss]
Singers: ♪ I want you. ♪
♪ I want you to know. ♪
♪ All I have is you. ♪
♪ All I need is you. ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪
[footsteps]
Baldric: [clears throat]
Stop it.
[clears throat]
Oh! There you are.
So, I take it
you received our bat.
Hm?
Dwight: Yeah, yeah.
- Yes.
- We, I did.
- Good.
Dwight: Good thinking, guys.
Baldric: Excellent, well done.
Ah.
- Baldric!
Your scepter is back.
Baldric: Ha! Indeed it is!
- Were it not
for Baldric and his scepter,
we would not have been able
to cast the champion spell
again...
like we did.
- Highness, I beg your leave.
I must go.
Gretta: I know you must.
Dwight: You do?
He does?
Where is he going?
Where are you going?
Baldric: Sir Dwight,
will know what to do.
Dwight: Huh?
Baldric: He has the answer.
- Uhhhh.
Gretta: Now, Baldric,
while there's still time.
Dwight: Time for what?
- To save Hexela.
Hexela: [breathing heavily]
[straining]
[straining]
[straining]
- NO!!!
Ragana: [scream]
Get it off!
Get it off!
Get it off!
[frustrated huff]
He wouldn't.
- He would.
Ragana: He didn't.
Hammond: He did.
- If he would,
and if he did,
how long have we been asleep
this time?
Hexela: Hm,
I'd say
about a thousand years...
Sweetums.
[lazy chuckle]
Dwight: Gretta, I thought
I lost you forever.
Gretta: I knew you'd come.
Dwight: What happened?
You went
through the time machine pool
to stop Hammond.
Gretta: I wish it could have
been that simple.
We came
through the scrying pool
and found ourselves
in the castle.
Before the siege began.
[sobbing]
I'm never gonna see him again.
Baldric: Sh.
[emotional] I am so sorry.
- We must ready the castle.
Hammond is coming.
We gathered provisions
for the siege.
Dwight: Salted fish and hogs?
Gretta: Exactly.
Chlodwig set off
through enemy lines
to bring Aunt Ermingarde
to our aid.
Dwight: Oh, how did that go?
Gretta: We've had no word
from him.
Dwight: Oh.
Gretta: And Baldric went
to search the woods for Hexela.
♪
♪
♪
- Forgive me, Majesty.
[magical surge]
[thud]
Your Majesty.
- Hail, Baldric.
My dear friend.
Baldric: How are you?
What happened?
You were..I...
turned you...
my spell.
Majesty, forgive me.
- There is nothing to forgive.
You made me a promise
that you would protect Gretta.
And you have kept it.
- [sob]
- Hammond is coming.
Baldric: And I will be ready
for him.
- No, Baldric.
This is not your fight.
Baldric: But, Majesty.
- You must go back,
find the champion,
he will know what to do.
- [grunting]
Gretta: We knew we had
to find our way back to you.
Dwight: Because your mom
talked to Baldric in a dream.
Gretta: Exactly.
Dwight: Does your mom talk
to people in dreams often?
Gretta: Just this once.
- Twice.
She talked to me too.
After you guys jumped
into the scrying pool,
I went to see her
because I guess she was all
that was left of you
and I, that's not important.
The point is,
I fell asleep
and I met your mom
and we talked,
and she was super queenly
and intense and she told me
that I had to remember
what she said when I woke up.
- What did she say?
Dwight: She said,
"Bring her back."
- That's it?
Dwight: Well, clearly your mom
wants us together.
I, I mean in the same time,
teamed up, with, to beat, yeah.
- So it seems.
Her message to Baldric
was adamant.
Find the champion,
he will know what to do.
- Okay, so about that.
Gretta: So, we carved a bat
without delay.
Did you like it?
Dwight: Yeah, it was great.
Good job.
Gretta: Hammond prepared
his stone soldiers,
Ragana captured Hexela--
- Whoa! What?
Gretta: That's another story
completely,
but suffice it to say
there was no time to wait.
Baldric cast
the champion spell, again
and here we are.
Are you happy to see us?
- Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, I mean, I'm,
of course,
it's just that Gretta,
your mom said that I would
know how to defeat Hammond.
- Yes.
- Well, uh,
if I'm totally honest,
I don't.
I have no idea.
- Let's away, quickly,
to Woodside High.
- Why Woodside High?
Gretta: We agreed to meet there
upon our return,
to make our stand.
[phone notification]
- The fake blood!
- Pardon?
- Let's go, come on.
Drama room, Woodside High.
Quick march.
Gretta: Uh.
[insistent vocalizations]
Ragana: Where's my handbag?
And where's my shoe?
[frustrated growl]
When I find Baldric,
that furry-faced fopdoodle.
Hexela: [laugh]
- What's so funny?
Hexela: Oh, you, Ragana.
Bested once again,
by that furry -faced fopdoodle.
Ragana: Okay,
it wasn't bested, all right.
- Mm.
Ragana: Don't forget we know
how to build a scrying pool.
We'll go back to the past
like we did before.
Hexela: And then we'll just
follow you like we did before.
And Baldric will cast
a champion spell,
like he did before.
We could do this forever, love.
- No.
We're not going back
to Rogemore.
Uh.
We're going to build it,
right here.
In all its glory and might,
but this time we'll have
indoor plumbing
and electricity
and ranch dressing!
- Mm!
- [exhales]
And I will be its king.
There's just one little princess
standing in my way.
- [smug chuckle]
- Where are they?
- Who?
Who?
Hammond: My soldiers!
♪
♪
[intense music]
We still have a bargain.
- 'Tis true,
you'll have your army.
- When?
- Sundown.
- Good.
I'll be back.
Ragana: Where are you going?
- To find my niece.
♪