Due South (1994–1999): Season 2, Episode 11 - We Are the Eggmen - full transcript

All right, that's it. Just crouch.

Just watch him.

All right now. All right great.
Close the gap,

pick up your pace.

Charge!

Aw, Diefenbaker.

Do I have to remind you
that you are a carnivore,

that you are genetically
predisposed to hunt,

or have you forgotten that?

It's hopeless.

I should never have taken
you out of your element...



and brought you to the city.
You've gone soft.

No, there's only thing to do...

and that's to mail you back to
the Yukon, where you belong.

Ahh, now a few elementary drills...

doesn't sound so bad, does it?
All right, let's go.

Ah ah!

Watch your language.

Now,

pick up the scent again.

Start to stalk. That's it.

Pick up your pace. Not too fast.

All right. That's it.

All right. Now, measure your charge.

If you even so much as
contemplate laughing, my friend,



I swear I will crate you
up so quickly that ...

Sir,

sir, are you all right?

Excuse me, sir.

it's Constable Benton Fraser
Royal Canadian Mounted Police.

Are...

are you all right?

Yeah, I'm okay. Thank you.

Oh my god, what did you do to my eggs!?

I'm very sorry about your eggs, sir...

but you were headed for an open trench.

You son of a ...

You see, you were headed
for an open trench.

What am I gonna do now?

I think we can probably
salvage some of them.

Hey, you did enough already.
Get out of here.

Well, perhaps I should
go call someone for ...

Get out of here!

Come in.

Constable Fraser, this is Linus Prince.

Hi, pleased to meet you.

Same here.

He's a lawyer.

For Mr. Lyndon Buxley, the
man who's life you ruined.

Excuse me?

Something about eggs.

Your actions caused my client...

to loose a contract that
was vital to his business.

And since the accident he's suffered
severe trauma and emotional distress.

Oh. Well, I'm...I'm...I'm
very sorry to hear that.

If there's anything I can do to help.

There most definitely is Constable.

You can provide restitution.

He's suing us.

The complaint sites you, the
Royal Canadian Mounted Police...

and the government of Canada
for the loss of income,

bodily harm and mental anguish... as
a result of your wanton behavior.

Well, I... ahem, I'm not sure the word...

...wanton is what you're looking for ...
Fraser.

Sir, I was trying to prevent
a serious accident.

Your client was heading for an open trench.

How much did you have to drink that night?

I beg your pardon?

There was no open trench. You
forced him off the road.

Yes, there was an open trench, Mr. Prince.

I fell into it.

While I was hunting with my wolf.

How much exactly are you
looking for Mr. Prince?

Ten million dollars.

You have my number. And
you'll want to call soon.

The longer you wait, the higher the price.

Don't say it.

You were only trying to help.

Yes, actually.

Dismissed.

Get me legal affairs in Ottawa.

Fraser, one more thing?

If you ever get the urge
to help me, do me a favor?

Resist it.

Understood.

Yes, this is Inspector Thatcher in Chicago.

Welcome to America, Benny.

The land of litigation.

You know you can sue your barber
for giving you a bad haircut?

The man was in trouble, Ray.

Well, that's what you get
for being a good Samaritan.

You say you were helping a guy,
he says you were interfering.

I didn't do anything wrong.

Well, it doesn't matter.

In this country the guy who brings the
suit doesn't have to pay the costs...

and nine times out of ten they
hire a slippery lawyer...

and it's cheaper to settle than fight back.

But of course, that won't
happen in this case...

because as soon as we can clear up the
misunderstanding of the open trench ...

Look, I just want you to be prepared.

If it comes down to your word to
his, in a Chicago court room,

the money's gonna be on the hometown boy.

Now the cover was off that trench, Ray.

Now we prove it, you're off the hook,

but if we can't, don't take it personally.
Come on. We got 45 minutes.

Hey, you guys want a sandwich?

My sister's new business. She's
taken over the kitchen at home.

Well, you know. It keeps me busy.
Gets me out.

I'm kinda a people person, you know.

You hungry Benton?

As a matter of fact, I am.
How much do I owe you?

Ah. Nada.

You get the good looking
eligible bachelor discount.

Thank you kindly.

You got proscuitto?

Yeah, six bucks.
Six bucks?

What? You're my brother.

Besides, even if you weren't
you're not my type.

Ah, then you're out of luck.
I've only got five.

And besides, I ran out of
toothpaste this morning.

Huh, You and your system.

He thinks if he runs out of
a personal care product...

That means he'll win the lottery.

All right, make fun of me now.

All right, ... buy me a five
while you're at it, okay?

Yeah, but it's gonna cost ya.

Thanks.

Come on.

He's my brother, I have to put up with him.

What are you thinking?

Sneed,

what are you doing here man?

It's time to pay the piper Lyndon.

If you're lucky Mr. Marshack here
might make an offer on this dump.

You very lucky he just might,
just cover your marker.

Hey, hey, come on. Hey,

you cannot take this farm away.

Oh?
No.

I... I just need a little more time, okay?

You clowns always think it's about time.
It's not about time.

Look man, I'm about to make
a really, really big score.

A big score?
I swear to God.

Hundred grands?
Hundred grands is peanuts.

I... I'm suing the Canadian government.

That's original. That's original.

Lawyers say it's a slam dunk.
Going to settle for 5...

...uh, million...
Ah!

So, I'm gonna pay you back maybe
10-15-20 times what I owe you.

Lyndon, Lyndon, parties over.

You better hope and pray I
find a buyer for this place...

if your future ain't gonna be worth
the change you leave behind.

Hey, hey, you can't take that.

Ah, excuse me sir, you can't take that.

So, you breed these yourself?

Interesting.

You can't take those,
those are my eggs, man.

Mr. Marshack can take anything he wants.

Now you play your dime,
you take your wrack.

Did you hear me, Lyndon?

Those are my eggs.

Come on, come on...

nothing.

Well, this plate has
obviously been replaced.

Yeah, no kidding? It's under construction.
They move it every day.

You know, I don't know why I
but these things I never win.

Look at these scrape marks, Ray.
They appear to be fresh.

You're gonna have a hard
time convincing the judge...

that between the time you
ran the guy off the road...

and the time the cops showed up that...

an emergency road crew came out
here and did road repairs.

Come on, come on.
I'm squeezing like a ...

You know, this is nothing
but a tax on the poor.

These plates were lifted in by a machine.

Where is this plate was levered
in with some difficulty.

Probably a crowbar.

So what are you saying?
There's some guy running around...

at 4 o'clock in the morning
replacing wayward trench covers?

I don't think so, Benny.

If you ask me, I'd say settle.

There's no shame in settling,
it happens all the time.

I think I'm gonna go and talk to him.

It's only a couple of miles.

I can walk from here and you
have to get back anyway.

Talk to who?
The eggman.

The eggman?
He's the enemy.

The only explanation he's looking
for comes in large denominations.

He's probably gonna have to chase you ...

I won 25 thousand dollars!

Hey, hey, I know. It is not your problem.
Nobodies blaming you.

I'm blaming myself. I'm
assuming full responsibility.

Yeah, hey, you don't have to tell
me I'm a compulsive gambler,

I know I'm a compulsive gambler.

I'm assuming total responsibility.

What I'm trying to explain to you is...

that we have got something
going now sweetheart...

that cannot miss, okay?

It is not a long shot. No-no-no-no.

It's gonna put us on the map kids.

No more worries. Nothing. Okay?

Yes, I'm promising. Right?

Son of a ...

What's he doing here?

Ah, Mr. Buxley.

Yes?

Mr. Buxley might I suggest
that you hold your fire.

Ah, If not for my sake at least for
the sake of your French Houdans.

How do you know I got French Houdans?

Oh, I'd recognize those voices anywhere.

You see as it turns out I'm not
entirely unfamiliar with poultry.

My... my grandfather bred fowl.

When we lived in Yetyak Flats,
in his spare time of course.

And in... Yetyak Flats, there was...
there was a surplus of spare time.

As a.. as a matter of fact, I
remember one occasion when...

when he actually tried to introduce
a pair of Andalusians to...

a flock of Brahmas and you,

well you can imagine the results.

What do you want?
Well, I'd like to have a word with you.

May I?

This is your research station?

Yeah.

High nitrogen content?

That's for the shells.

These spices are...

coriander...ginseng root,

myrrh...

and I can't place the other two.

That's cause it's a secret.

Ah.

And this would be uh...
that's your treadmill.

See, the way I look at it,

you put a chicken in a little tiny cage...

and never give him a little
exercise, that's no good.

This way... they get in shape,

they're gonna perform maybe
two, three, four, five years...

past the average.

These two are remarkable.

These're Adam and Eve.

It took 25 years to produce these two.

And these are their eggs?

Yes. Their eggs.

May I?

Go ahead.

Hey?
That was a fine egg.

Those eggs are gonna put
me on a map, my boy.

But in the meantime, business is slow.

Yeah,

real slow now thanks to
the incident we had.

You think this law suit is your way out?

Yeah, that's nothing personal.

Just exercising my indigenous
rights so to speak.

Mr. Buxley, if they discover it was
you that covered that open trench,

and you'll be liable to the
criminal charge of fraud.

Gee, since I didn't do that...

I don't have anything to worry about, do I?

You know I think this is all very nice...

but I think maybe this
conversation is concluded now.

I think the next time I see
you, we are be in court.

Very well.
Take your eggs.

Ah, thank you.
Nothing, God bless you.

Well, well, well,

if it isn't Jan Paul Getty,

Miss Captain of Industry,
the Duchess of ...

All right Ray, enough.

Just Pay my fine, will you?

Not so fast.

As a responsible and
concerned police officer...

I just want to make sure
you're learned your lesson.

How was I suppose to know...

that I needed a vendor?s
permit to sell at the Merc.?

Just a wild idea Frannie?
Maybe you should have asked someone?

Uh Ray, did you get that information?

Look, there were no road crews...

and that open trench must have been
a figment of your imagination.

I fell into it, Ray.
Well, then you fell into a figment.

This is just a simple
misunderstanding over a permit.

Could you please tell my
brother just to pay my fine...

and let me get out of here, please?

Well, that should be simple enough,
Ray with your good fortune today.

Good fortune?

Fraser.

Hello? What good fortune?

No good fortune. Just sit there.

Fraser, this is not a good time...

to be telling Frannie
about the lottery ticket.

Well, why isn't it Ray?
She won half the money.

No. Frannie did not win any of the money.

I won all the money.

Ray, I don't think that's
true, strictly speaking.

I mean while it is true that you
scratched off all of the tickets,

Francesca bought half of the tickets...

therefore, technically she should
be entitled to half the money,

...isn't that right?
No.

Her tickets did not win and mine did.
End of story.

Ah.

What do you mean Ah?

Frannie did not win are we clear on this?

If you say so, yes.

What? Have you been taking
guilt lessons from my mother?

Not that I recall.

All right then, case closed, okay,

and not another word of
this to Frannie, all right?

I'll tell her when the time is right.
Ah.

Will you stop with the Ah?

All right, all right.
Ray, Should we... uh ...

Na, let her sit there
and consider her crime.

I'm terribly sorry, Francesca.

So much detail after such a long flight.

This Fraser's is open a big mess for us.

Can we mitigate the damage?

Nothing is beyond repair
in the right hands.

You know the office hasn't been
the same without you Maggie.

Ottawa misses you.

Coffee?
That's splendid.

I've cleared my schedule...

to handle this case myself, you know.

And a chance to see my prot?g?
how could I pass that up?

Fraser!

Constable Benton Fraser, RCMP
Councilor Henri Cloutier.

I've heard much about you, Fraser.

Your heroics are gonna
cost us a lot of money.

What is this? If I may?

A simple form accepting responsibility
for having caused the accident.

But I-I ...

I have already done the ground
work with Mr. Buxley's lawyer.

He and I feel certain that a
settlement can be reached.

Well, with all due respect, sir,

it would be wrong for me to sign this.

Inspector Thatcher and I have dinner plans.

Why don't you take the evening...

to consider the repercussions
of your position.

Ben!

I'm ah... sorry about dinner.
I won't be too late.

Too late for... what?

Too late for... dinner.

Dismissed.

Shall we?

Inspector!

Nice neighborhood, Fraser.

Thank you.

You live like this?

Yes.

Anyway, um...

about what I said earlier
in my office today.

Uh, you see I called Ottawa,

which uh... given the
particular circumstances,

circumstances which I hold you
entirely responsible for,

anyway, um,

I just didn't expect that he
would be the one assigned.

You see I... um,

spend eight months.. so working for him...

and in the course of that eight months,

I'm sorry um, if...if I made
it seem today like... we...

I'm sorry for the ruse.

It's just that...

there have been occasions in my career...

where I have found it necessary to... um...

Deflect?

Yes.

There have been occasions in my carrier...

where I have found it necessary...

to deflect the attention of male superiors.

And if I made it awkward
or uncomfortable...

for you today I want to apologize.

There's no reason to apologize.

I understand.

Thank you.

Now, ahem... why are you being
so stubborn about this?

About what?
The settlement.

Why won't you sign it.

Well, if I could explain ...
Fraser.

There will be no skin off your nose.

The Canadian government
won't bat an eye lash,

all you have to do is sign it.

Then you'll have the
eggman out of your hair,

I'll have Cloutier out of mine.

I can't.

Why not?

Just give me one good reason why not?

Mmm. It's delicious.

It's naturally low in cholesterol too.

This is not ordinary farmer.

I mean the quality of this egg
suggests he is something of an artist.

Oh, now I get it.

In spite of the fact that he
filed a law suit against you,

you believe you can show
him the error of his way,

appeal to his conscious...

and save his soul for the pure
pursuit of his god given talent.

One day.

One day to prove whatever
it is your trying to prove.

One day as in?
24 hours.

That's it.. and then you sign.

As in one day.

That makes a good egg.

No doubt about it.

A gold mine to someone who can
get this to the mass market.

Could be you, boss.

I'm sold.

Get him to sign over everything.

No problem.

Nice flavor.

Uh oh, now, we gonna look,

hormonal imbalance here, baby.

I think we're gonna stop with the
Mozart and go back to the Shostakovich.

'Cause it's gonna lower
your estrogen, okay?

We'll think of something, okay?

Maybe Staffingarpelli.

Hey, how you doing, Sneed?

Mr. Marshack has assumed your debt...

and he wants his restitution.
Have no choice.

Well uh, I'm sorry, you
can't do this to me.

All you have to do is sign...

and you're free and clear.
I'll even give you the pen.

Uh, you don't understand Sneed,
this is all I got, okay?

I really appreciate this uh...

it's a very nice pen what is it a melblack?

Come here, you hold him.

You wouldn't.
You want to try me?

Ah, come on, you can't!

You're weird, Buxley!

I've seen guys go down for their
families, for their girlfriends,

even their dogs. Ha-ha, but chickens?
Ha-ha...

seen first!

Just give me the thing, I'll sign it, okay?

Come on, come on, I'll sign it,

give me the pen.

Just leave the chickens alone.

Well, I did what any gentleman
would do, all right?

I scratched the tickets her
five dollars bought first.

Besides possession is nine
tenths of the law anyway.

Well, possession affords one
a prima facie argument...

for the retaining of the assets, the
declaration of ownership, Ray...

still would require a higher court.

Well, not in the Vecchio household.

You think I'd be getting a cut if
she was holding the winning ticket?

Not a chance.

Huh.

A feather?

Oh, it certainly screams
conspiracy to me, Benny.

Ah, Notice the healthy sheen Ray and
the yellow coloration of the tip?

This feather could only
come from one chicken.

So, let's go get him.

You sure you want that wolf running
around with all these chickens?

Well, as long as they're not in
possession of any milk-duds,

they should be fine, Ray.

He hasn't kicked that junk food habit yet?

Well, you know they say
it's harder than heroin.

Good afternoon.

Something I can help you with?

Yeah, where's the chicken man?

Mr. Buxley no longer lives here.

Is there anything I can help you with?

Are you in any way connected with Mr.
Buxley?

I'm the proprietor of this establishment.

Well, that makes sense.

Why hang around this dump when you
figure to cash in on 10 million bucks?

Well, he seemed very dedicated, Ray.
What's this about?

Fraud.

These are exhibits a and b.

Hey,

hey, wait a second these are my chickens.
What's the deal here?

These chickens here are involved
in a high profile crime,

perpetrated by Lyndon Buxley.

All the paper works in order.

If you guys got a complaint,
take it up with... Judge DeLuca.

Excuse me.

I promise you sir, I will
personally care for your fowl.

You have nothing to be concerned about.

When do I get 'em back?

When the case is closed.

I'll be right back. I'm just
gonna go cash my lottery ticket.

Why are you following me?

Well, I'm not following you exactly, Ray.
I'm walking beside you.

You're not gonna leave
me alone on this are you?

On what?

Look Fraser,

this isn't about she said
this and I said that, okay?

This is bigger than just who anted up.

Ah. You mean on the issue of
who's entitled to the money.

This is payback time, Fraser.

This is for the time she ratted me out...

for smoking a cigar in the
basement with David Contee,

for the time she told Paula
Scriptiano that I was a junior...

for the time she didn't show up at
the Academy for my graduation...

because she had to go see Donny
Osmond at the Beacon, okay?

This isn't my victory, Fraser,
this is cosmic justice.

Ah. I see.

No you don't. I don't even know why I try.

Hey!

Buxley!
He smashed my window!

The chickens are gone.

Who cares about the chickens,
he smashed my window!

Well, the chickens are gone, Ray.

Oh, good riddance to the chickens.
I didn't like them anyways.

Ah, it's okay baby,

it's not personal.

The guy just had a deep desire
to get to his chickens.

Well, the chickens were his life, Ray,

it's understandable he'd go to
great lengths to retrieve them.

There's no excuse for one man
to damage another mans...

fine vintage automobile over
a couple of oven roasters.

Ah, that's disgusting.

What are you doin'?

Well, ... he has written
something on this... book.

Raptures plus three. Timber Wolves
minus two. Kings, Clippers plus eight.

Yeah, those are basketball teams
and this is a betting sheet.

You see, those are the teams
he things are gonna win...

and that's the point spread.

Ah, this guy's a chump. Who would
take the Clippers even with points?

Well, perhaps a man more
efficient at farming...

than he is at gambling.

Where are we going?

We gonna visit a family friend.

Cicero Dairy Corporation

What do you mean the
cops took the chickens?

Those are the birds laying the golden eggs.

Without them all I got is a couple
of broken-down buildings...

and a worthless piece of land.

I didn't know, I'm sorry.
Sorry don't cut it.

I made a deal for Buxley's
farm and everything on it.

Without the chickens, ... all bets are off.

Now get out of here. Fix it.

I know, I know.

I hate the city too.

Come on, let's forget about it, okay?
You just got to eat your food.

I know I know I know, you're
used to the best of food.

I gave it to you all your life.

Baby, I'm sorry, okay?

Come on, you force yourself to eat
it ?cause it's nutritious, okay?

You don't have to like it.

All right, all right sweet heart.

Evie, daddy's gonna get
you your real food, okay?

You take care of Evie, okay Adam?

I don't know how I'm gonna do it,
but I'm gonna get you real food.

My old man used to come here all the time.

He'd tell my mother we were gonna the
park but we'd always end up here.

I never once saw him cut his hair.

You didn't like to see his hair being cut?

No! This is Bert Block's place.
He's a bookie.

He's been around hair. He knows
this town inside and out.

Then he said: Don't be ridiculous.
That canary can't sing.

The mouse has an utterance! ha-hah!

Hey Bert, how are you doin'?

Ray? ... Ray Vecchio, is that you?

No, It's my ghost! Of
course it's me, buddy.

How are you doin'?
Ah...

I'd like you to meet a good friend of mine.
Bert Benny, Benny Bert.

Pleased to meet you.

Hey, hey Ray.
You grew up nice!

Used to be the softest kid I ever know.

His old man be listening to the radio...

and screamin' for those
Nicks to run faster...

and little Ray would be
there in the corner...

stuffin' his face with
crullers all chubby ...

Bert!
...and bloated ...

Bert, I think that's a little more
information than my friend needs to know.

Yeah.
What can I do you for boys?

Well, we have misplaced some
extremely important chickens.

We believe that information about
whoever is delayed these bets.

My helpless locate.

Chickens.

Chickens.

Yeah, the guy's name is Lyndon Buxley.

We got a hunch that maybe he is
squish around somebody's book...

maybe make you calls for us?

I don't have to, Ray.

A loser like Buxley story gets out.

He got as line up over one
hundred large with the fellow.

But everything work done okay.

What's the guy like him get hundred grams?

He didn't.

His bookie wand of sold
his market to some guy.

The bookie got his money and life goes on.

Thank you kindly for your help.

Mucho gusto.

Thanks, Bert.
Nice coat.

Uh, listen now. One more thing.

Did my old man ever win, even once?

Ray! That would have spoiled his fun!

Thanks again, Bert.

I don't know if this is a
ideal place to talk business,

it's a little dark.

I can see everything I need to.

I spoke to Constable Fraser,

I think he might be ready to come around.

Constable Fraser,

I must admit I'm a...

little surprised by your
relationship with him.

Yes, well, we both know...

I like to keep my personal life personal.

Don't underestimate your potential, Meg.

Remember your ambition.

You've done well so far.

You could do even better
with the right connections.

With a friend to help pave the way.

Fraser!

Ah. Inspector.

I thought it important to inform
you there's been an emergency.

Emergency?

Yes. With your car.
What about it?

It's on fire.

Oh, please!
No, it is.

It's burning away. All the
other cars feel threatened.

You're making this up.

Yes, I am.

What do you think you're going?
With him.

Oh, perhaps I didn't make myself clear.
No Andre...

you made yourself perfectly clear.

Now let me make myself clear.

I'm sick of your innuendos.

I didn't join the RCMP to
get chased around a desk.

I'm going with Constable Fraser,

you do what you want about that.

Sorry to have interrupted your dinner.

Ah, Inspector, I'm sorry about the ruse,

but I believe I've determined the
cause of the accident other night.

I think Lyndon Buxley will
reconsider his legal action.

Thank you kindly.

What are you doin' here?

I assumed you wouldn't want to feed...

Adam and Eve anything but the best.

Do me a favor, okay?

Just leave me alone, all right?

Until I sue you.

I'd rather help you if I may.

What are you, crazy?

I'm suing you for 10 million dollars
and you want to help me? Why?

That's what I wanted to know.

Who's this woman?

This is my superior officer,
Inspector Margaret Thatcher.

Lyndon, I know the kind
of trouble you're in.

I know you needed money
to pay off your bookie,

that's why you sold your
farm in the first place.

That's why you set up
that hole in the road...

and that's why you tried to sue me.

He set up the hole?
Yes.

He planned to drive into it and
then blame it on Cook County...

but when I interfered with his plan,

it provided him the opportunity
to sue an entire government.

And that's why he went back
and covered up the trench.

You should be ashamed of yourself.

Yeah, I know.

If you'll excuse me I gotta
go feed my chickens, okay?

That's it?

After all that, we're gonna let him go?

I don't see what else we can do.

Interfere! You always interfere!

No!

Yes. I'm taking you to see Mr. Marshack.

What are you doin'?

Interfering.

Where's he taking us?
I wouldn't hazard a guess, ma'am.

Do you still have your
cellular phone with [you]?

May I have permission to...?

Permission granted.
Thank you.

What are you waiting for?

Well, I don't want my hesitation
to appear unprocedural, ma'am...

it's just I'm not sure which
cellular provider you use...

and since we're likely to be on
a transponder boundary line,

and there'll undoubtedly be
a nominal expense accrued.

Nominal I say ...

Just do it!
Uh, yes.

Vecchio.

Hurry up, the batteries running low!

Ray, it's Fraser.

Buxley has been kidnapped.

Inspector Thatcher and I stowed away
aboard the kidnapper's vehicle.

- So, where are you?
We're in a truck.

Well, where's the truck?

It's on a road, Ray.
Hurry up!

What?

Apparently, the battery is running low.

All right, look, give me
a license plate number.

Ah, yes, I only saw it for a split second
but it's Illinois plate, 5-0-6-9...

Oh dear.

Hello? Hello?

Elaine!

Oh, could you get me a number on a truck?

Five zero six nine.

That's it? There could
be hundreds of matches.

Yeah well, that's all we got.

What do you want from me?

Just what you owe me, chicken man.

You already got my farm.

I...I don't have anything else.

I want your research, Lyndon.

Not your live stock.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Why you kidnapped two of your most
valuable birds, I want 'em back.

If you could do that for me, huh?

Nah, I don't think so.

Never.

Never say never, Lyndon.

Mr. Marshack, we got trouble.

Solve the case.
Pleasure.

This way!

They're down here!

Oh dear.

We're gonna burn up in here.

I think that's unlikely ma'am.

This would appear to be a late
model Akison Type incubator...

with a maximum output of 50 degree
Celsius or 120 degrees Fahrenheit.

So were safe then.
Oh yes, yes.

Well, that is until the
carbon dioxide we exhale...

combines with the sulfuric acid, the
ammonium and the nitric oxide which...

without proper ventilation can be a
common hazard of incubators of this type.

And then?

And then we die.

Any chance of getting that door open?

I don't think so.

It would appear to be double reinforced
steel with a eTech electronic lock.

Which means?

Which means they brought an
extraordinary good door.

Why?

Perhaps they foresaw this exact situation.

Perhaps they were just trying to
prevent the chicks from escaping.

Perhaps.

How come you told everyone else in the
world that ticket won. Except me!

Uh, it slipped my mind.

Twenty-five thousand
dollars slipped your mind?

Look, if I had thought
about it I had told you...

but I didn't think about it, okay?

That money is half mine you know.

Look, no it is not. Now
will you leave me alone?

I got seven hundred license plate
numbers I have to go through here?

Don't wiggle out of this one, Ray.

Look, you ask anybody, all right?

They'll tell you it's my money.

You ask anybody.
Ok, lets do that thing.

Huey. What do you think?

Even Steven.

It was your money.

Mmm. Elaine. How 'bout it?

Ray, pay the woman her money.
Yeah.

The rest of you.

How many of you think I
deserve half the winnings?

Come on, let's see some hands.

You're right.
You're right.

Ah,

thank you for your support.
It's still mine.

You're such a rat.

All right, this has got to be the one.

Elaine, get me an address
on The Cicero Dairy...

and radio me in my car.

Will you stop walking away from me?

I'm walking don't you see me walking...

and pretty soon, I'll be driving.

Well then, I'm coming with you.

Oh no, you're not.

So try and stop me.

I think I found the contact
points for the release mechanism.

If we ever do get out of here,

I'm gonna have to find a new career.

Well, I hope I haven't been in
any way responsible for that, ma'am.

No, it's not your fault.

That was something I should
have done a long time ago.

We're Mounties. We're
suppose to have ideals.

Of course, if we're dead Mounties,

our ideals won't mean much will they?

Huh.

Something?

Well, I think it's possible to
bypass the release mechanism.

But I need a piece of wire
about 7 centimeters in length.

7 centimeters?

Yes, 7 centimeters.

Take off your tunic.

I beg your pardon?

Take off your tunic,
Constable, that's an order.

7 centimeters.

Good thinking ma'am.

Fraser?

Just joking.

You could have done it
the easy way, Lyndon.

I love my chickens!

It's not too late.

No!

I'm asking you one more time Buxley,

where are the chickens?

Stop. You want to know where
I left those chickens?

Suck an egg!

Fraser, if this doesn't work...

and uh we don't make it out of here...

as your commanding officer,
I just wanted to say that,

a-as someone you work for,

I just wanted to say that...

as someone you work with...

I-I just wanted to tell you...

I got it.

You were saying?

Another time.

All right, all right, all right!

I'll tell you, okay?

That's better.

I ain't got all day, Lyndon.

Well?

Well? Well?

Let me catch myself.

No, I can't do it. I can't do it!

Put him down.

No!

You're a heartless pig!

You had...you had your chance.

You gonna leave my babies all alone!

Let me out!

Put him down and leave him down.

I love my chickens.

We need a kind of diversion.
Can you throw?

1.3 ERA over 30 games.
[Earned run average in baseball statistics]

That's good.

Hit the red button.

What's goin' on?

Way to go, Mountie!

Tell me, what kind of man
cheats his own sister, Ray?

I didn't cheat you.

What did you think you'd do?

Start lighting cigars with
hundred-dollar bills...

...and I wouldn't notice?
I don't smoke.

That's not the issue. You're avoiding.

Avoiding and stealing. What
do you think Ma's gonna say?

Not so fast, pal.

Unless you wanna play chicken.

Ray!
Evening Benny. Inspector.

Well, it's very good of you to come. May I?

Ah, no problem.

You know,

I been thinking, Benny,

I can't take the guilt any more.

I'm gonna give half that
money to Francesca.

No!

Watch him!

Which came first Mr. Sneed?

the chicken ...

or the egg.

[Ray] No!!!

I'll watch him, you go.

Thank you, ma'am.

I'll tell you later.

Ray!

For saving the life of egg
farmer Lyndon Buxley...

and his prize hens,

for protecting Canada against
an opportunistic legal act,

sounds pretty good, Benny.

Hey, who's this guy Henry Clouteer?

That's Henri Cloutier. He's with
Legal affairs office in Ottawa.

The guy gives you a commendation...

and you don't tell me about it?

I gotta read about it on page four?

Well, Inspector Thatcher
deserves all the credit...

as my commanding officer.

Which brings me to another
subject I'd like to talk about.

Fire away.

Women.
Enough.

Ha-ha, No, I'm serious.

You mean to tell me you
haven't noticed that...

Inspector Thatcher is a good-looking woman?

Well, that wouldn't be appropriate
for me to comment on, Ray.

So, you do notice.

I didn't say that.

Ah.

Ah? What do you mean 'Ah'?

Oh nothing, just 'Ah'.

No, you must mean something by 'Ah'.

Oh, I think this 'Ah' thing is
a pretty-pretty meaning trick.

Well, it's not a trick, Ray.

Oh, like you didn't use it
to make me feel guilty...

...about the lottery ticket.
No, I didn't.

Ah.
Honestly.

What, you don't believe me?

I didn't say that.

Ah.