Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 11, Episode 15 - End of an Era - full transcript
When Si decides to retire to pursue a music career, the family organizes a party in his honor. Meanwhile, Willie, Phil and Jase take a road trip to try to recreate an old duck call for Si's...
All right, so what do you have
December 9th through 13th?
I told you, in December
I'm gonna be hunting.
Willie, we have
that buyer coming in.
Maybe you can get one of
those cardboard stand-ups of me?
That's not gonna work.
- Hey.
- I'm in a meeting.
- This will only take a second.
- I'll see you...
- This is an emergency.
- Why is everybody coming in here?
- It's an emergency!
- Si!
Why do you have to
do everything together?
- 'Cause...
- We're friends.
We got a situation. Si
is acting really weird.
That took all four of
you to tell me that?
It's concerning.
All right, get back to work.
Look, telling me
Si is acting strange
is not something I
consider an emergency.
That's like telling
me the sun is hot,
water is wet, and Kenny
G plays the saxophone.
Si acting weird is
not exactly news.
This is really weird.
Does he have all his clothes on?
- Most of the time.
- Yeah.
But it's not just about that.
These are just
the facts of life.
So when my employees
take time from their workday
to come into my office
and voice their concerns,
well, CEO Willie
gets suspicious.
Don't just ask me.
What'd he say?
I'll make a note of that,
and y'all go back to work.
So now CEO Willie has
to become Detective Willie
to see if these guys
are telling me the truth,
or if they just want
a coffee break.
Okay, so what is he doing
differently than he normally does?
Korie, don't even engage them.
- Well, I mean...
- Look, he's just babbling...
- That's normal.
- That's normal for him.
It's like if a rapper
went insane,
and got really old, and
then he just started talking.
Is he like Flavor
Flav weird, or like...
- He don't have a clock.
- It's a cuckoo clock.
- Where's he at right now?
- I don't...
- It's hard to describe.
- The cuckoo's gone.
- You need to come watch.
- Or the clock's gone.
- Where's he at right now?
- The cuckoo stayed, but the clock left.
- Okay, enough with the cuckoo.
- Okay.
- Where is he at?
- He's actually working.
- What?
- Is he messing up the inventory?
I'm sure he is.
- All right.
- I need to stop that.
Rapping might be a bit of
a stretch. He just rhymes.
He's rapping?!
Why can't I just work
with normal people?
You hired us.
Technically, most of you are
related. You came with the job.
Well the rain started,
it made us run into
the jungle of Cain.
- You hear 'im?
- We said, "Well, let's hop on the train."
- What?
- There he is.
And then that's when
we run into ol' Wayne.
- Is somebody out there?
- No, there's nobody out there.
Cork.
Maybe he's sick,
or lost his mind.
Stork! That's what
I'm talking about.
I don't know whether
to laugh or cry.
- Laugh.
- Is he like rhyming things?
Yeah. It's like he's discovered the
English language for the first time.
- Pork!
- Oh.
- Why's he yelling?
- That's weird.
We have an emergency
situation here.
Stop, drop, and roll.
- Like... how does that apply?
- No, that's a fire.
He's not on fire.
Oh, he's on fire.
When Jase told us
that Si was acting weird,
- we were concerned.
- Correction.
You were concerned.
I'm used to that.
I think he's just getting
older, you know?
When people get
old, they just start...
Oh.
Saying weird things.
I'm not sure he's all there.
I've been convinced
he's not all there.
- Well, I mean, like, do you think...
- He's on drugs?
No! We need to take him...
I think we need to
take him to the doctor.
I think you need to
look at everything.
That's weird.
Maybe he's been exposed
to some kind of weird mold.
Wow.
I mean, we're all
gonna get old someday,
and, you know, we
could lose our mind.
Especially you, 'cause
it runs in your family.
No, I've...
You better start doing
crossword puzzles.
Has he been sleeping
as much as he...
He's been sleeping
an incredible amount.
- All right.
- Okay.
Act like you're doing something.
So look, guys, put
those boxes there, I think.
- Done.
- I'm gonna put this one right here.
Okay.
- Looks good.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, guys. I appreciate the help.
- Yup.
- What's up?
- Hey, Si.
What are y'all doing?
Organizing stuff.
- Y'all are weird.
- I'll take that as a compliment.
- We're weird?
- Yeah, you're weird.
- Thank you.
- What?
Um, I was gonna go buy
everybody lunch. You ready?
- Nah.
- It's free.
Let me get this other order out.
- Whoa.
- It's free!
All right, he's never
turned down any free food.
Are you really buying lunch?
- Only if Si joined us, so...
- I think that was just a test.
- That's not cool.
- Everybody is on their own.
You can't go back.
Once you say free...
- Once you say it...
- Yes, I can. Watch me.
Wait a minute. You're
breaking the lunch protocol.
That's just hateful.
I'm gonna start
talking to myself.
I want free lunch.
Look, I'll go ahead
and read my letter to Si
first, if that's all right with y'all?
We're not reading letters, Jep.
I wrote this... a long letter.
We're just... We're just asking
what's going on, it's not a letter thing.
- I thought this was an intervention.
- Who said it was an intervention?
- This isn't an intervention.
- It's not an intervention.
It's just a talk.
Okay.
There he is.
Hey, put that away.
Surprise!
- Surprise?
- Did I forget? Is it my birthday?
Uh-oh, he doesn't know it's
his birthday. This is a bad sign.
It's not a surprise.
Well, is this one of
them invention things?
- No, it's not an intervention.
- Yes.
- It's just a talk.
- Look, I'll go ahead and read my letter.
- Don't read that stupid letter.
- It's typed up and everything.
- I mean, I'd like to read...
- Just let me have it.
We were just gonna
ask you a question or two.
What y'all... you idiots yelling
"surprise" for? What's the surprise?
We just wanna know, is
everything going okay?
You've been
acting a little weird...
- der than you normally do.
- Well, y'all, look,
I caught a little bug this year.
- Oh, no! He's sick.
- He's sick.
And look, I didn't wanna
tell y'all till I got better.
- Oh, no.
- Are you better?
- Is it mental, or...?
- Si.
No, it ain't that.
- There were some signs.
- Look!
I caught the music bug.
- The music bug?
- Yeah.
Hey, it may have
took me 68 years
to get started on
my music career...
There it is, hey. But hey, look,
better late than never.
I've been out
honky-tonkin' at night...
- Oh, my goodness.
- With my band.
- Yes.
- Well, you were out there...
That's why I'm out there
taking so many naps lately.
Hey, if you stay up till
2:00 AM honky-tonkin',
it's rough on a man,
specially at my age.
What are you,
time-warping back to 1978?
I didn't know there was a
big honky-tonk scene here.
Look, all these good guys start
out on the honky-tonk circuit.
Hey, people are always telling
young kids, "Follow your dreams."
That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard of.
They're kids, okay?
Look, you need to leave "following
your dreams" to the old dogs.
He's pursuing his dreams.
Hey, I play bars, I play
nursing homes, okay? Hey.
I'll even come to a bar
mitzvah, if you invite me.
- Bar who?
- The nursing home?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
The nursing home
was a tough gig.
We're the ones that need to
be chasing the rainbows, okay?
So we can go out
in a blaze a glory.
Well, Si, look, I'm not paying you all
day just to hang around and buzz and hiss
- and write songs and sleep.
- Yeah, I know,
so I'm gonna have to officially
retire from Duck Commander.
- Whoa!
- Are you really retiring,
or is it like you always do?
- Si, you quit like 30 times.
- Okay.
Man's gotta chase his dreams.
You better get to
running, big boy.
- What you mean get to running?
- Just saying,
- you're about 50 yards behind.
- Hold on, I'm in my prime, sonny boy.
- I'm in my prime.
- He's in his prime.
In his prime.
Can I go ahead and read my
letter? I spent a lot of time in this.
- Don't read that letter.
- Oh, you wrote a letter?
It's an intervention letter.
It's about how you need to...
- About me?!
- Yes.
Read it to me! I may
turn it into a song!
Crank it up, Jethro!
"Your life is gonna have to
change in the following ways.
Number one..."
Nope.
Nah. That's junk.
Okay, I'm out of here.
I don't have to take that crap.
- He gone.
- I think this is for real this time.
He's either really retiring,
or he's really crazy.
Both.
Or he'll be back in two weeks.
Well, Si's actually retired.
I think his career in
music will be short-lived.
- Why d'you think?
- Si can't write a sentence,
much less a song.
Creative fragments.
Y'all gonna get Si
a retirement gift?
- No.
- Depends.
Funny you should mention that,
'cause I got him a little... watch.
Gonna Vanna White this baby.
- He's not gonna like that.
- And it's expensive.
- You don't see the problem with that?
- What?
You wanna forget about
time when you get old.
- That's all old people do.
- No, they don't.
"What time's lunch? What time's
breakfast? What time's my nap?
What time's Murder She Wrote?"
His whole life is like a cruise ship.
Did you save the
receipt on that?
- I actually got it engraved, so...
- Total waste of money.
- Old people like gold.
- They don't like watches.
- "Gold! It's where it's at."
- He's gonna throw it away.
- He's gonna throw away gold?
- Yup.
He's senile and stupid,
but he ain't that stupid.
- There he is.
- What are you idiots up to?
I thought you retired, Si?
Hey, look, consider
this my three-day notice.
Three days?
Get down, idiot.
Get out of my chair.
Si, you don't even work here!
Go back to your office
where you belong, fat boy,
and let me sit down in my chair.
Si!
Si has given a lot
to me over the years.
Mostly gray hairs and an ulcer.
I need to get these guys
ready to go after I leave.
- They'll be fine, believe me.
- No.
This gon' be a huge
thing for y'all to overcome.
Yup! Thing's just won't be the
same around here without Si.
Who knows? We may
actually get some work done.
So what do you want
for your parting gift?
Well, we'll have a "slamboree."
- A "wingding"?
- You want a font?
- A shindig.
- Oh, a shindig.
- A shindig.
- A party.
Yeah!
- A party.
- Not just a party.
- A blowout party.
- Si, we'll get you a cake,
and on your last day here,
we'll have a little party for
you in the conference room.
No. You're going with
the ol' formal retirement.
"Oh, hey, give him a
watch with his initials on it..."
Nobody said anything
about a watch.
"Say good-bye to him with a
cake in the conference room."
That ain't a party,
that's boring.
Hey, look, guys, I put my whole
life into Duck Commander, okay?
And look, there's gonna
be a giant void when I leave.
So look, I need to be sent off...
propuly? You know what I'm talking about?
- Watches are cool.
- Do what?!
A thing like a gold watch?
That thing goes up in value.
- Hey! I'm retiring.
- We know!
What am I gonna
need a watch for?!
- Time still goes on, Si.
- Look, hey!
Here's what I want you to do.
I ain't talking about
just a party, okay?
I'm talking about,
it's gotta be a par-tay!
I want a band and a stage, okay?
I'll get up and sing a few songs.
- We'll have a blast.
- Si, I don't...
I'll get a backup band
that'll blow your mind.
- Oh, no.
- I don't have a band, Si. We can't...
You don't... I'll take
care of the music.
All you gottta do is get the
rides, okay, the house of mirrors...
- Chili dogs.
- Hey, chili dogs.
- Photo booth.
- Corndogs, okay?
And for baby sister over here,
he wants to have a photo booth.
Here's how big
I want this party.
We got astronauts that are fixing
some equipment in outer space.
I want them to
look down and say,
"I'm bored to death up here
fixing this stupid satellite.
I wish I was down
there at Uncle Si's party.
That's where it's at!"
Si, we'll try to plan
you some sort of party.
I don't know if we're gon' go that
far, but we'll try to get something.
- Dancing, music, fun!
- Okay.
- All right, we'll see.
- A real party!
Not just a piece of cake and
"thanks a lot for the memories."
I was gonna get you a
nice gift and get you a cake.
Speaking of
retirement gifts, okay?
Hey, look, I'm gonna
take this chair with me.
No, you can't have the chair.
That's company property.
"Company property."
- It's not in quotes. It is company...
- Yeah, it is!
You don't need
air quotes for that.
I've been working in this thing
for 40 years in this sweatshop.
No. Technically you just sat in
it, you haven't been working in it.
This place really does
stink. I'm glad I'm retiring.
- That chair stinks.
- We'll have it cleaned.
- Huh.
- Don't worry.
I'll get you something and it'll be
way nicer than that chair, okay?
I doubt that.
I'm actually gonna get
up on stage and sing,
♪ Take this job and shove it ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't
working here no more. ♪
He gone!
So Si wants us to plan
him a retirement party.
- He's retiring.
- That be fun.
He asked for a party?
He asked for a big party.
I said we would have a, you know, a
cookie cake in the conference room.
No! We're gonna
have a big party.
He said he wanted a blowout, a
shindig, or a bing-bong or something.
- What's a bing-bong?
- I could not...
- That be fun, I think.
- That would be fun, yeah.
How long has he worked
for the company? I mean...
- We should throw him a good party.
- Work? Probably a year.
But he's been there 25.
I wanna give Si a really
good retirement party.
See, that's where I differ.
- Willie.
- I mean, the last five years
have been a
retirement party for him.
Okay, but he is retiring,
and that's a big deal.
You gotta admit, it'll be a little bit
less exciting without Si around, won't it?
Mostly it'll just be quieter.
He said he's got
the music, so...
Well, he can't do the
music for his own party.
- Wait, he's singing?
- He's singing.
That's interesting.
Well, when you retire,
we'll get Si and his
band to play at your party.
I think about the time I'm retired,
it'll be the memory of Si's band.
I don't think any of
them will be alive.
He ain't Mick Jagger.
- Yeah.
- We need something to go with the music.
Do y'all have any ideas?
We can make some T-shirts.
I kind of like the T-shirt idea.
Kind of like, when you have,
like, for a reunion or something.
Yeah. And then we can always...
- And it's like commemorative.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's good.
- Wait.
Is he moving to Nashville?
Um... He didn't say that.
Maybe y'all could
get a duplex together.
Me and Si are not going
to Nashville together.
I'm moving to Nashville
as a single lady.
I do not need my crazy
Uncle Si rooming with me.
Si retiring is not the only big
thing happening in our family.
Sadie is moving to Nashville.
It's gonna be kind of quiet
around the house without her there.
It is. We'll only have
three kids at home.
I know. That's weird.
That's a lot of kids.
I got Sadie a little
going away present.
- You got me a gift?
- Hmm.
- How about that, huh?
- Oh, wow! Dad!
- Ooh...
- How about a solid gold watch!
- Let me see, let me see.
- Did you really get me this?
You can tote that
around Nashville.
I think it might be a
man's watch, Willie.
It is.
It's a little bit sad seeing
our kids leave home,
but they all come
back eventually.
It's like an eagle returning
to its nest. Is that a thing?
It's nothing like an
eagle returning to its nest.
What about ducks? Do they
come back to their nests eventually?
They get shot.
Why does it say,
"S.R. Hey, I'm retired"?
It's like, "Sadie Robertson.
Hey, you're retired.
You're going to Nashville."
So did Si not want a gold watch?
- Oh.
- He didn't like the idea.
- Well, thanks, Dad.
- All right, you're welcome.
I should not have
gotten it engraved.
So I think we should
have a roast at Si's party.
Like, everybody's
cooking a roast or...?
No, like we're
making fun of him.
He said he was
doing the music, so...
I figure we'd better have
some sort of entertainment.
After giving it some thought,
a comedy roast is the perfect way
to celebrate Si at his retirement party.
Will, they've been roasting
ol' Si for about 50 years.
- Yep.
- It's not real hard to figure out
some way to make fun of Si.
He pretty much
does that on his own.
Ridiculing one another is a
Robertson family tradition,
so I think my family members are
really gonna have some fun with this.
Maybe too much fun.
And I got him a watch, and
I've already re-gifted that.
I tried to pawn it off to Sadie.
I told you it was bad idea.
Well, what in the
world would he want?
- You know what we ought to give him?
- What?
I'd get him a pair of
beaver underwear.
Like a diaper, or would
you buckle it or something?
He's getting to the age
where he might need a diaper.
Think jockey-strap
for the water.
It may get ol'
Christine all fired up.
Here we go.
Well, I don't know, I
think that ship has sailed.
You think it's gonna take
more than beaver underwear?
- Couldn't hurt.
- Oh, boy.
Well, he's been griping for the
last 25 years about that ol' duck call,
that ol' cutout Magnum.
I know, I know. He
won't shut-up about it.
Si's favorite call that we ever
made was called the cutdown.
Unfortunately, the call
is no longer in production.
That's a good idea, if
that's what he wants.
Actually, we killed more ducks
when he didn't have a duck call.
Well, that's true.
- But, you know...
- Save it for the roast.
Problem is, the mold broke,
and to fix it we're gonna
have to go to Mississippi.
That's where all our molds
are for our plastic duck calls.
We'd have to go by the mold
place, resurrect a whole mold.
That's gonna cost more
than a gold watch there, Will.
- Well, it ain't cheap, but you...
- Well, but if we could sell 'em...
- Oh, yeah, you sell 'em.
- You'll sell 'em.
- We need a new call.
- Put down there,
"Si Slayer," you know, "get
'em while they last," whatever.
Yeah, and then we can,
like, give Si the first one...
- Oh, yeah.
- Of the new model.
Can y'all go tomorrow?
You're paying me, I'll
go wherever you want to.
Well... Yeah, let me think.
Maybe even get
a little overtime.
- Oh, boy.
- Mileage.
Quit doing that.
I ran into a wall.
Literally.
I guess y'all wondering
why I brought you out here.
Try to figure where
we're going to lunch.
No, we ain't going to lunch.
You brought us here 'cause you're
old and you have bad judgment.
- No.
- Lunch?
No, not lunch.
'Cause you needed
something to do.
- No.
- Lunch?
Look, you guys need
to focus, all right?
I got two days
left, and then, hey,
all this knowledge
I've got is gone forever.
- So we're not going to lunch?
- No, we ain't going to lunch.
All right, fine. Show
us your knowledge.
- I can show it to you better.
- Oh, well,
he just asked you
to show it, not tell it.
I mean, I hate
to break it to you,
but when I think of
knowledge, I don't think of you.
Knowledge.
Look, as you get older, okay?
You need to share the
wisdom you've gained
with the younger
generation, okay?
It's called...
- Check this out.
- What in the world?
Hey.
- How many plies is this?
- Four-ply.
It's like a cloud, man.
Some of you may think it's
weird that I've got a secret vault
of, you know,
toilet paper at work.
Well, hey, you ever wipe
your behind with a steak knife?
If it's one area that
I'm concerned about
or I'm gonna take care
of, it's gonna be my behind.
- It smells good.
- It does. It's scented.
What are y'all doing?
Oh, we're just checking
out some toilet paper here.
Yeah, I don't think
I even wanna know.
- You wanna borrow some?
- No, thanks.
- What's next, Si?
- I've saved the best for last.
I knew it. That sucker
bought us lunch.
- Okay.
- The grand finale, huh?
The grand finale, this
is the last one, boys.
This better be good.
Well, what do you see behind me?
- Boxes?
- That's what I thought.
- What?
- What in the world is that?
Are you kidding me?
Look at that!
- He gone.
- Okay, boys.
And let the nap begin.
This hidden nap fort takes
things to a whole new level.
It's like Si's Batcave.
But instead of using to fight
crime, he uses it to fight drowsiness.
Hey, look here.
Night light, cooler, bed.
He's got a picture
of a cat in there!
No, that ain't just a
cat. That's Sweet Pea.
That's my compadre.
I can't wait to use
this thing for myself.
Although I'm not gonna drink
out of the iced tea jug in there,
because who knows
how clean that is.
You're missing a urinal.
Actually, is that even iced tea?
Hey, there's my nap fort, boys.
So you came in on your off days
to build something to avoid working?
- Yeah.
- That seems kind of ridiculous.
That's from the man that
don't have himself a nap fort.
- I will fumigate it.
- Yeah, I bet.
You better get a
different mattress.
Oh, no. Ain't nothing
wrong with that mattress.
- Probably got a few stains on it.
- And some fleas.
The mattress is fine, boys.
I ain't built for no backseat.
There's the initial idea
of that cutout Magnum...
- It is hot back here.
- Was to get air...
Would it kill you
to turn the air on?
Inside the plastic, so the
resonance would be greater.
If you put ice cream in a cup,
and it swirls up three inches
above the lip of the cup?
Hey, let's get some ice cream.
When that ice cream melts, you
don't have but a half a cup of fluid.
The reason it stood
up is, it had air in it.
Seriously, if you see
ice cream, let's stop.
Well, he wasn't
talking about ice cream.
- Well, he said ice cream, he said...
- But he's talking about...
We're taking liquid, and
we're creating a solid.
Like a smoothie.
When it comes to the technical
aspects of making duck calls,
Willie is clueless.
But he is paying for this thing.
And he usually buys lunch,
so... he's along for the ride.
Would it kill you to stop
and get some ice cream?
No, we're not getting ice cream.
Is there ice cream there?
Riding along with
my Dad and Willie
kind of brings back memories
of when we were kids.
And I feel the same
way now that I did then.
Maybe if we can get
Willie in a car seat,
it would help him calm
down and be quiet.
Do they have car seats in
husky sizes? Surely they do.
Here it is.
- How long have you been here, Phil?
- Forty years.
All right, Willie, you might
let us do the talking here.
Just have your checkbook ready.
You think they got
ice cream in here?
No.
Here's the plan. The
loading dock is the stage,
and so everything
works off of that.
- Which means... Jep?
- Yeah.
That cannot stay there.
What is that?
It's the photo booth.
Well, it's part of it.
Well, it's not really
a booth, but...
Well, I'm not finished.
Okay. It needs to just, like, move
a little bit, because that's the stage,
and you're pretty much, like,
blocking the stage at this point, so...
- Right.
- It's gotta go that way.
But in most parties nowadays,
like, the photo booth
is like the best thing.
- Well...
- But you don't want it to block anybody.
Yeah, but I have props,
it's gonna be awesome.
Hmm.
You know, the main
part's gonna be the band,
and the, you know,
entertainment.
I'm gonna have to
disagree with you on that.
Maybe, like, over there, kind of
close to where the dumpsters are?
You guys have, like, a
thing against photo booths?
- No, I love photo booths!
- Okay.
- Just making sure.
- I just...
Yeah, it's just... yeah.
It's my photo booth. I'm gonna
put it where I wanna put it.
All right, so, Sadie, let's just
set up all the tables, and then...
set up the chairs.
And then I think
we'll wait till tomorrow
- to put, like, tablecloths on...
- Jep, are you...
- I just broke it.
- Uh-oh.
I think it's fine.
- You need some help?
- No, I got it.
Okay.
- Haters gonna hate.
- Keep...
Keep going.
- A little more.
- Time to get you some Haterade.
These guys just don't understand
what makes a party
a party nowadays.
Your photo booth, you'd
want it front and center.
My photo booth, put it
over here, in the corner.
Nobody puts Jep in the corner.
The Electric Slide, out.
The Macarena, out.
Photo booths? In.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
Ooh...
Okay, he's got it.
Not only does it provide tons of
awesome fun, but, in a few years,
Si's gonna need these pictures to
remember this party even happened.
- Let's just start putting chairs out...
- Mom.
We'll get the guys
to do tablecloths.
- Si!
- Si?
Si Robertson, you are
not supposed to be here.
- What are you doing here?
- What?
What do you mean, I
ain't supposed to be here?
- Technically, I still...
- It's your party.
Look, I know. I
got worried, though.
Got worried about what?
Where's my backup band
and me gonna sing from?
- The loading dock.
- No, no, no.
You gotta understand something.
The guys that are coming to back me up?
Let's see how to put this.
"Well known" would
be an understatement.
- You got...
- Okay?
And this would be
rude to them, okay,
to ask them to play
from a loading dock?
We ain't cargo. They
gotta have a stage.
Well, look, that's...
That's a big stage.
No. Hey, I'll tell you what.
I know Willie just
bought that field.
We can put a big
stage out there,
look, put flamethrowers
on each side of the stage.
They will shoot flames like a hundred
feet in the air while we're singing.
Then the pyrotechnical guys
can set up the fireworks behind it
and they'll blow up
everything around here.
- It'll be great!
- Wow!
We weren't really
planning on flamethrowers.
But we have a photo booth
- that's gonna be...
- Well, no.
- Cool.
- No.
Look, these idiots don't
understand what's going on here.
I've got some top notch
musicians coming in here, okay?
- You need to go, we got it.
- All right.
- All right, we got it!
- I'm gon' get out of y'all's hair.
- Bye!
- Think big!
Thinkin' big!
Look, this stage is
an "insultment," okay?
That's an insult and
an embarrassment.
- So I guess we're...
- Don't think big, think colossal!
- Colossal?
- Colossal!
Okay, this place has gotta
look "promazing." Okay?
That's professional
and amazing...
Together! Okay?
- Okay, so I guess...
- Shoot for the stars!
- Shoot for the stars. Okay!
- Okay!
Forget everything we just talked about.
We're gonna put the stage right there.
- So we have to move all this?
- Yeah.
And the photo booth.
Who's gonna tell Jep?
Well, it's been a while since
you've been in here, huh?
- Been a long while.
- There he is!
- What's going on?
- Cam, how you doin'?
Ain't seen y'all in a
while. It's good to see you.
Last time I saw you,
you were a young buck.
- Yeah, that was a while back.
- Hey, how's it going?
Old Bill was a lot younger
than he is now, too.
Yeah, tell us about that, old man.
You haven't been here in forever.
Well, the first time I rode in
here, y'all's receptionist, she said,
"The soup kitchen serves
right on down the road."
I'm like...
That's how it started!
We're trying to get
this cutout Magnum.
If we get it back working,
we'll put it back into production.
And then we're gonna
give Si the first one.
We brought our money man there.
Hey, what's up,
guys? How you doin'?
- Who is that?
- Hey, I'm Willie. Nice to meet you.
So you actually brought
him over here for a change.
That's why he's hiding in the back.
He's waiting on what's it cost here.
So did we talk about how
much it would cost or...
We'll send you a bill later.
- Let me go make some shots.
- Yeah, let's make some shots.
We'll be here.
When I went over there to
talk to him about this latest mold,
I had not been there in
probably 25 years, maybe 30.
So it was kind of like a
walk down memory lane.
Are those the duck calls?
Yeah, these are
bringing back memories.
- Oh, look there!
- That's some of your old...
For 40 years, we've
made a lot of different calls.
Haven't we, though?
I saw some of our old, original
duck calls on the wall, you know?
First thing that crosses
my mind looking around is,
"Boy, we've come a long way."
A long way!
I remember putting
that one together.
- You remember this, Phil?
- I remember it.
The most copied
duck call in the world.
Some super glue and a band saw
and I put that
configuration together.
I came up with the first
Mallard Drake call ever,
first Pintail/Wigeon call,
first Gadwall call,
first Wood Duck call.
Yeah, I can remember
when Phil called me
and told me about he's got us a
call that we're gonna have to make.
And I made it out of
a little child's whistle.
And I said, "Are
you joking, Phil?"
On Christmas day,
I remember that.
- Yep.
- I remember.
When everyone else was
doing whatever they're doing,
I was out there in
that old shed of mine,
trying to get that
sound just right.
It was a chore, but
I stayed the course.
Remember we did this for
Breast Cancer Awareness?
- Yep.
- There's your wood duck.
Still have a few of those.
Si's retiring, so it's
the end of a long era.
But it's in good hands
with old Willie Boy and Jase.
They know what they're doing.
- Here.
- There he goes.
You need to leave
that to the experts.
All right, Jase. I got a
couple shots to try out.
All right.
What's up with this color?
That's the sample color.
- Is that cheaper?
- No.
Crank down on it, Jase.
That is as sweet and
tender as a mother's love.
Willie, pay the man.
The cutdown Magnum
has been resurrected.
We probably won't
sell a whole lot,
that's why we need to
negotiate on the price, but...
- Good work, boys!
- You did good.
I'll call you later.
These Mississippi boys
don't sell themselves!
We'll haggle around our price.
- Good job, man.
- All right!
- $1,500? Is that what we said?
- Yeah, $1,500.
- $1,200. I'll call you later.
- No, 15, see you later.
We'll split the
difference somewhere.
- All right, y'all be good.
- It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Y'all be good!
All right, let's get
some ice cream.
Si's never gonna
know what hit him.
I know.
I don't think we're
gonna know what hit us
once he starts singing.
They don't even
need the amplifiers.
- I mean, you can hear...
- No, you are so right!
There's no volume
control with Si.
- He loves to sing.
- The one skill he possesses is volume.
All right, Si.
- Si, we got you a little shindig.
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
- Look here!
- The man of the hour!
- Here's your slamboree.
Well, look, if I'm the guest of honor
of this thing, let's get the party going!
We're not doing the music.
We're gonna have a little roast first.
What are we doing,
roasting a pig?
No... well, kind of. But
like a super skinny pig.
Oh, y'all are roasting...
Hey, yeah, okay.
- This is gonna be good!
- You'll have a chance to take...
- Okay, this ought to be good!
- Of course it's gonna be good.
Yes, it's just a tradition.
It's all in good fun, Si.
Yeah. Hey, talking about
fun, who made your t-shirts?
- Becca.
- Rebecca, actually.
Hey, normally when
I say the word "Hey,"
I spell it H-E-Y, unless
I'm driving down the road
and I look out there in
the field and I say “Hay!"
Then I'm talking
about a bale of hay.
English is not
Rebecca's first language.
Well, hey, it ain't mine either.
- Hey.
- Hey.
All right, guys, if everybody
can take their seats.
The gloves are off,
buddy! The gloves are off!
Oh, no, the gloves are off!
I want to welcome everybody
to the Uncle Si Retirement Roast.
You know, you have
called us, um, idiots,
morons, dingleberries, maggots,
- even whiskey barrel.
- Oh, wonder who that was.
So now is our time to tell you
what we think of you as well.
Let the roast begin!
I'm not sure what I'm
more relieved about,
the fact that Si's finally
retiring from Duck Commander,
or the fact that this party may actually
measure up to his insanely high standards.
Lucky for us, we have the
perfect thing to kick this party off
and keep his ego in check.
Willie Robertson.
Unlucky for Si, it's a
roast and he's the target.
Now this is gonna be fun.
So Si's retiring.
I'm not gonna be able to
get away from Si, though,
'cause every time
I go to the dentist,
there's a photo of his teeth
up on the wall that says,
"This is what happens
when everything goes wrong."
Roast!
Si was a good student in school.
He told me that the eighth grade
was some of the finest
three years of his life.
He is at an age where he
can no longer trust his farts.
But the good news is, he
went and had a colonoscopy,
and they found his head.
Si is so old
that I told him to act
his age, and he died.
Christine told
him the other day,
"You want to run
upstairs and make love?"
And he said "Hey, pick
one, 'cause I can't do both."
You know, most of the
time, if a guy's being roasted,
he gets to rebuttal against the
guys that's been roasting him.
Most people know
that Si is an avid hunter.
Most ducks do not.
These knuckleheads over here
wouldn't even be able to take
the heat that I bring out here.
When God made
Si, he broke the mold.
- Amen.
- That's right!
And God said, "I'm never gonna
make another one like that."
It'd be like Al, okay?
You know, I'll congratulate
him on all the weight he's lost.
Hey, look, and then
congratulate Willie for finding it!
He would be in tears!
Tea manufacturers have
offered Si endorsement deals
to stop saying
there's tea in his cups.
Consumers are concerned
it leads to hunched back,
bad teeth, and chronic
mispronunciation of words.
Burn!
Like Willie, for example.
He wants to be
known as Boss Hogg.
That means Korie
would be Miss Piggy.
You know, she would be very
upset to be called Miss Piggy.
I'm gon' be the bigger man here.
I'm not gon' say
anything about them.
She needs a chair.
If I have to stand on my
tiptoes the whole time,
this is not right.
Have you thought
about lowering the mic?
No, I didn't know how to do
that. I'm not technical-logical.
- "Technical-logical."
- Yes, you are!
Okay. Some people say
Si's hairstyle is unique.
Because more of it comes
out of his nostrils than his head!
Drop the mic.
Drop it?
And now, to the
good stuff about Si.
He's the closest thing
to a brother I'll ever have.
And he has been one of
the best men I've ever known.
I've never met a more decent
man than Silas Robertson.
Not one.
Love this family,
love everybody in it.
I'm glad that we can
laugh at ourselves
and I think Si
helped teach us that.
Si has served our country
and he makes life fun.
So I love you, Si.
He has been a rock
that's been in our lives.
I love him, and I always
will, and his family.
All right!
All right, Si.
- Appreciate it!
- Whoo!
All right, look, folks.
Now that we got the stupid
roast business out of the way,
we'll get to the entertainment
part of this thing.
Si, how long is it gonna take?
They'll be here any second,
all right? Just settle down.
'Cause I ain't gon'
sing a cappella.
We're all sitting in the sun,
we're ready to be entertained.
They probably had
to wait for the train.
Are they taking a train
or are they taking a bus?
They're coming in buses.
- Yeah!
- Okay! Big bus.
It is a big bus.
- Well, it's a bus.
- Wow!
Wow.
Wow.
Any time now.
Look who we got here!
Yeah!
Y'all welcome ZZ Top, baby!
Are you kidding me?
Si got ZZ Top to
be his backup band.
And here I thought he was gonna
show up with some random honky-tonkers,
not one of the greatest
bands of all time.
- What's happening, my brother?
- How's it going?
- Going good, man.
- Yeah!
Even with Si singing,
this is gonna be awesome.
The only downside now
is that we don't really need the
hundred pairs of earplugs I brought.
I'm not a professional,
I gotta get the lyrics.
That ain't gonna
do you any good.
- Could I borrow them?
- I don't think you need them.
Oh, and that I'll probably be
getting a very expensive bill.
I'm gonna have to postpone my retirement
ten years just to pay for all this.
- Play "Freebird"!
- Godwin wants to hear Taylor Swift.
That's what we wait
for to go out on stage.
"Play some Skynyrd!"
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right, here we go!
One, two! Come on, Si!
- Two, three!
- Four!
♪♪
Oh, yeah!
Come on, Si,
don't hurt yourself!
♪♪
Bam!
Give it up for ZZ Top!
Si, you were actually on key.
Look, even a blind hog
finds an acorn once or twice.
To be on stage with y'all
and actually get to sing
with you has been a blast!
It was actually pretty good!
- And y'all were great.
- Guys, appreciate it.
Thank you again. Wow!
- Fantastic!
- Yes, sir.
- I didn't even know y'all were comin'!
- Excellent.
The guitar pickin' was good
and the singing was not too bad.
Yeah, well, yeah, you got...
- At least you're on key there.
- There you go!
Your beard actually matches.
Well, they probably wash theirs.
I don't do nothing to mine.
- You don't even wash it?
- No.
This is au naturel, son.
Frank would probably have one,
but his last name's Beard, so...
Yeah, your last name is Beard
and you don't even have a beard.
- That's correct.
- Okay, well, he don't need one, then.
- He's got the last name.
- What's your excuse?
Frank and I... Frank and I think that
some faces look too good to cover up.
That's why I grew my
beard in the first place.
I couldn't keep
the women off, so...
You got the same... Hey,
you got the same problem I got.
- Yeah, well, that's comforting.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, Si, look.
Don't bring out no stupid watch.
- Look at what we got you.
- It's not a watch.
- You remember your favorite call?
- Yeah.
The old cutdown Magnum?
That's the old cutdown Magnum?
Yeah, it's back.
Look, we give each other a
hard time a lot of the times.
You know... well, all the time.
But look, it really means a
lot that Phil, Jase, and Willie
gone through this trouble
to bring this duck call back.
And then that's what you gave
me, is the first one that y'all made.
So it's really special.
- The resurrected cutdown Magnum.
- Okay.
I thought it'd give you
incentive to stay alive.
I really feel lucky
that I was actually a part of
this company for all these years.
And for the record, hey,
it's way better than any stupid gold
watch you could've come up with.
Y'all ready to
eat?! Let's go eat.
Yeah, I am, but I know you are.
Si, the roast is over.
No, the roast's just
beginning, son, we fixin' to eat!
All right, let's bow.
Father, we thank
You for this good food.
We're not taking it for granted
how much You have blessed us.
You offered it to
us free of charge,
and all You ask of us is to love
You and to love our neighbor.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Who
made all these things possible, amen.
- Amen!
- Well, let's dig in.
They say all good things
must come to an end.
But the truth is, they
never really come to an end
because you always have the memories
of what made them good in the first place.
Sometimes those good things
can even reinvent themselves
and turn into other good things,
like a classic duck call
brought back into production,
or Uncle Si launching a
music career in his late 60s.
Okay, maybe that's not a
good thing for anyone's ears,
but you get my point.
This may be the end of an era,
but it's also the beginning
of a new chapter,
one that will bless us
with more good things,
good people, and good memories.
And for that, we are thankful.
Actually, does this really
have to come to an end?
I mean, if I keep talking,
they won't cut me off, right?
And I can talk for a long time.
So I guess we'll find
out if they can cut...
All right, boys, he's
gone for good this time.
That's a wrap, Jack.
December 9th through 13th?
I told you, in December
I'm gonna be hunting.
Willie, we have
that buyer coming in.
Maybe you can get one of
those cardboard stand-ups of me?
That's not gonna work.
- Hey.
- I'm in a meeting.
- This will only take a second.
- I'll see you...
- This is an emergency.
- Why is everybody coming in here?
- It's an emergency!
- Si!
Why do you have to
do everything together?
- 'Cause...
- We're friends.
We got a situation. Si
is acting really weird.
That took all four of
you to tell me that?
It's concerning.
All right, get back to work.
Look, telling me
Si is acting strange
is not something I
consider an emergency.
That's like telling
me the sun is hot,
water is wet, and Kenny
G plays the saxophone.
Si acting weird is
not exactly news.
This is really weird.
Does he have all his clothes on?
- Most of the time.
- Yeah.
But it's not just about that.
These are just
the facts of life.
So when my employees
take time from their workday
to come into my office
and voice their concerns,
well, CEO Willie
gets suspicious.
Don't just ask me.
What'd he say?
I'll make a note of that,
and y'all go back to work.
So now CEO Willie has
to become Detective Willie
to see if these guys
are telling me the truth,
or if they just want
a coffee break.
Okay, so what is he doing
differently than he normally does?
Korie, don't even engage them.
- Well, I mean...
- Look, he's just babbling...
- That's normal.
- That's normal for him.
It's like if a rapper
went insane,
and got really old, and
then he just started talking.
Is he like Flavor
Flav weird, or like...
- He don't have a clock.
- It's a cuckoo clock.
- Where's he at right now?
- I don't...
- It's hard to describe.
- The cuckoo's gone.
- You need to come watch.
- Or the clock's gone.
- Where's he at right now?
- The cuckoo stayed, but the clock left.
- Okay, enough with the cuckoo.
- Okay.
- Where is he at?
- He's actually working.
- What?
- Is he messing up the inventory?
I'm sure he is.
- All right.
- I need to stop that.
Rapping might be a bit of
a stretch. He just rhymes.
He's rapping?!
Why can't I just work
with normal people?
You hired us.
Technically, most of you are
related. You came with the job.
Well the rain started,
it made us run into
the jungle of Cain.
- You hear 'im?
- We said, "Well, let's hop on the train."
- What?
- There he is.
And then that's when
we run into ol' Wayne.
- Is somebody out there?
- No, there's nobody out there.
Cork.
Maybe he's sick,
or lost his mind.
Stork! That's what
I'm talking about.
I don't know whether
to laugh or cry.
- Laugh.
- Is he like rhyming things?
Yeah. It's like he's discovered the
English language for the first time.
- Pork!
- Oh.
- Why's he yelling?
- That's weird.
We have an emergency
situation here.
Stop, drop, and roll.
- Like... how does that apply?
- No, that's a fire.
He's not on fire.
Oh, he's on fire.
When Jase told us
that Si was acting weird,
- we were concerned.
- Correction.
You were concerned.
I'm used to that.
I think he's just getting
older, you know?
When people get
old, they just start...
Oh.
Saying weird things.
I'm not sure he's all there.
I've been convinced
he's not all there.
- Well, I mean, like, do you think...
- He's on drugs?
No! We need to take him...
I think we need to
take him to the doctor.
I think you need to
look at everything.
That's weird.
Maybe he's been exposed
to some kind of weird mold.
Wow.
I mean, we're all
gonna get old someday,
and, you know, we
could lose our mind.
Especially you, 'cause
it runs in your family.
No, I've...
You better start doing
crossword puzzles.
Has he been sleeping
as much as he...
He's been sleeping
an incredible amount.
- All right.
- Okay.
Act like you're doing something.
So look, guys, put
those boxes there, I think.
- Done.
- I'm gonna put this one right here.
Okay.
- Looks good.
- Yeah.
- Thanks, guys. I appreciate the help.
- Yup.
- What's up?
- Hey, Si.
What are y'all doing?
Organizing stuff.
- Y'all are weird.
- I'll take that as a compliment.
- We're weird?
- Yeah, you're weird.
- Thank you.
- What?
Um, I was gonna go buy
everybody lunch. You ready?
- Nah.
- It's free.
Let me get this other order out.
- Whoa.
- It's free!
All right, he's never
turned down any free food.
Are you really buying lunch?
- Only if Si joined us, so...
- I think that was just a test.
- That's not cool.
- Everybody is on their own.
You can't go back.
Once you say free...
- Once you say it...
- Yes, I can. Watch me.
Wait a minute. You're
breaking the lunch protocol.
That's just hateful.
I'm gonna start
talking to myself.
I want free lunch.
Look, I'll go ahead
and read my letter to Si
first, if that's all right with y'all?
We're not reading letters, Jep.
I wrote this... a long letter.
We're just... We're just asking
what's going on, it's not a letter thing.
- I thought this was an intervention.
- Who said it was an intervention?
- This isn't an intervention.
- It's not an intervention.
It's just a talk.
Okay.
There he is.
Hey, put that away.
Surprise!
- Surprise?
- Did I forget? Is it my birthday?
Uh-oh, he doesn't know it's
his birthday. This is a bad sign.
It's not a surprise.
Well, is this one of
them invention things?
- No, it's not an intervention.
- Yes.
- It's just a talk.
- Look, I'll go ahead and read my letter.
- Don't read that stupid letter.
- It's typed up and everything.
- I mean, I'd like to read...
- Just let me have it.
We were just gonna
ask you a question or two.
What y'all... you idiots yelling
"surprise" for? What's the surprise?
We just wanna know, is
everything going okay?
You've been
acting a little weird...
- der than you normally do.
- Well, y'all, look,
I caught a little bug this year.
- Oh, no! He's sick.
- He's sick.
And look, I didn't wanna
tell y'all till I got better.
- Oh, no.
- Are you better?
- Is it mental, or...?
- Si.
No, it ain't that.
- There were some signs.
- Look!
I caught the music bug.
- The music bug?
- Yeah.
Hey, it may have
took me 68 years
to get started on
my music career...
There it is, hey. But hey, look,
better late than never.
I've been out
honky-tonkin' at night...
- Oh, my goodness.
- With my band.
- Yes.
- Well, you were out there...
That's why I'm out there
taking so many naps lately.
Hey, if you stay up till
2:00 AM honky-tonkin',
it's rough on a man,
specially at my age.
What are you,
time-warping back to 1978?
I didn't know there was a
big honky-tonk scene here.
Look, all these good guys start
out on the honky-tonk circuit.
Hey, people are always telling
young kids, "Follow your dreams."
That's the stupidest
thing I've ever heard of.
They're kids, okay?
Look, you need to leave "following
your dreams" to the old dogs.
He's pursuing his dreams.
Hey, I play bars, I play
nursing homes, okay? Hey.
I'll even come to a bar
mitzvah, if you invite me.
- Bar who?
- The nursing home?
- Yeah.
- Oh.
The nursing home
was a tough gig.
We're the ones that need to
be chasing the rainbows, okay?
So we can go out
in a blaze a glory.
Well, Si, look, I'm not paying you all
day just to hang around and buzz and hiss
- and write songs and sleep.
- Yeah, I know,
so I'm gonna have to officially
retire from Duck Commander.
- Whoa!
- Are you really retiring,
or is it like you always do?
- Si, you quit like 30 times.
- Okay.
Man's gotta chase his dreams.
You better get to
running, big boy.
- What you mean get to running?
- Just saying,
- you're about 50 yards behind.
- Hold on, I'm in my prime, sonny boy.
- I'm in my prime.
- He's in his prime.
In his prime.
Can I go ahead and read my
letter? I spent a lot of time in this.
- Don't read that letter.
- Oh, you wrote a letter?
It's an intervention letter.
It's about how you need to...
- About me?!
- Yes.
Read it to me! I may
turn it into a song!
Crank it up, Jethro!
"Your life is gonna have to
change in the following ways.
Number one..."
Nope.
Nah. That's junk.
Okay, I'm out of here.
I don't have to take that crap.
- He gone.
- I think this is for real this time.
He's either really retiring,
or he's really crazy.
Both.
Or he'll be back in two weeks.
Well, Si's actually retired.
I think his career in
music will be short-lived.
- Why d'you think?
- Si can't write a sentence,
much less a song.
Creative fragments.
Y'all gonna get Si
a retirement gift?
- No.
- Depends.
Funny you should mention that,
'cause I got him a little... watch.
Gonna Vanna White this baby.
- He's not gonna like that.
- And it's expensive.
- You don't see the problem with that?
- What?
You wanna forget about
time when you get old.
- That's all old people do.
- No, they don't.
"What time's lunch? What time's
breakfast? What time's my nap?
What time's Murder She Wrote?"
His whole life is like a cruise ship.
Did you save the
receipt on that?
- I actually got it engraved, so...
- Total waste of money.
- Old people like gold.
- They don't like watches.
- "Gold! It's where it's at."
- He's gonna throw it away.
- He's gonna throw away gold?
- Yup.
He's senile and stupid,
but he ain't that stupid.
- There he is.
- What are you idiots up to?
I thought you retired, Si?
Hey, look, consider
this my three-day notice.
Three days?
Get down, idiot.
Get out of my chair.
Si, you don't even work here!
Go back to your office
where you belong, fat boy,
and let me sit down in my chair.
Si!
Si has given a lot
to me over the years.
Mostly gray hairs and an ulcer.
I need to get these guys
ready to go after I leave.
- They'll be fine, believe me.
- No.
This gon' be a huge
thing for y'all to overcome.
Yup! Thing's just won't be the
same around here without Si.
Who knows? We may
actually get some work done.
So what do you want
for your parting gift?
Well, we'll have a "slamboree."
- A "wingding"?
- You want a font?
- A shindig.
- Oh, a shindig.
- A shindig.
- A party.
Yeah!
- A party.
- Not just a party.
- A blowout party.
- Si, we'll get you a cake,
and on your last day here,
we'll have a little party for
you in the conference room.
No. You're going with
the ol' formal retirement.
"Oh, hey, give him a
watch with his initials on it..."
Nobody said anything
about a watch.
"Say good-bye to him with a
cake in the conference room."
That ain't a party,
that's boring.
Hey, look, guys, I put my whole
life into Duck Commander, okay?
And look, there's gonna
be a giant void when I leave.
So look, I need to be sent off...
propuly? You know what I'm talking about?
- Watches are cool.
- Do what?!
A thing like a gold watch?
That thing goes up in value.
- Hey! I'm retiring.
- We know!
What am I gonna
need a watch for?!
- Time still goes on, Si.
- Look, hey!
Here's what I want you to do.
I ain't talking about
just a party, okay?
I'm talking about,
it's gotta be a par-tay!
I want a band and a stage, okay?
I'll get up and sing a few songs.
- We'll have a blast.
- Si, I don't...
I'll get a backup band
that'll blow your mind.
- Oh, no.
- I don't have a band, Si. We can't...
You don't... I'll take
care of the music.
All you gottta do is get the
rides, okay, the house of mirrors...
- Chili dogs.
- Hey, chili dogs.
- Photo booth.
- Corndogs, okay?
And for baby sister over here,
he wants to have a photo booth.
Here's how big
I want this party.
We got astronauts that are fixing
some equipment in outer space.
I want them to
look down and say,
"I'm bored to death up here
fixing this stupid satellite.
I wish I was down
there at Uncle Si's party.
That's where it's at!"
Si, we'll try to plan
you some sort of party.
I don't know if we're gon' go that
far, but we'll try to get something.
- Dancing, music, fun!
- Okay.
- All right, we'll see.
- A real party!
Not just a piece of cake and
"thanks a lot for the memories."
I was gonna get you a
nice gift and get you a cake.
Speaking of
retirement gifts, okay?
Hey, look, I'm gonna
take this chair with me.
No, you can't have the chair.
That's company property.
"Company property."
- It's not in quotes. It is company...
- Yeah, it is!
You don't need
air quotes for that.
I've been working in this thing
for 40 years in this sweatshop.
No. Technically you just sat in
it, you haven't been working in it.
This place really does
stink. I'm glad I'm retiring.
- That chair stinks.
- We'll have it cleaned.
- Huh.
- Don't worry.
I'll get you something and it'll be
way nicer than that chair, okay?
I doubt that.
I'm actually gonna get
up on stage and sing,
♪ Take this job and shove it ♪
♪ 'Cause I ain't
working here no more. ♪
He gone!
So Si wants us to plan
him a retirement party.
- He's retiring.
- That be fun.
He asked for a party?
He asked for a big party.
I said we would have a, you know, a
cookie cake in the conference room.
No! We're gonna
have a big party.
He said he wanted a blowout, a
shindig, or a bing-bong or something.
- What's a bing-bong?
- I could not...
- That be fun, I think.
- That would be fun, yeah.
How long has he worked
for the company? I mean...
- We should throw him a good party.
- Work? Probably a year.
But he's been there 25.
I wanna give Si a really
good retirement party.
See, that's where I differ.
- Willie.
- I mean, the last five years
have been a
retirement party for him.
Okay, but he is retiring,
and that's a big deal.
You gotta admit, it'll be a little bit
less exciting without Si around, won't it?
Mostly it'll just be quieter.
He said he's got
the music, so...
Well, he can't do the
music for his own party.
- Wait, he's singing?
- He's singing.
That's interesting.
Well, when you retire,
we'll get Si and his
band to play at your party.
I think about the time I'm retired,
it'll be the memory of Si's band.
I don't think any of
them will be alive.
He ain't Mick Jagger.
- Yeah.
- We need something to go with the music.
Do y'all have any ideas?
We can make some T-shirts.
I kind of like the T-shirt idea.
Kind of like, when you have,
like, for a reunion or something.
Yeah. And then we can always...
- And it's like commemorative.
- Mm-hmm.
- That's good.
- Wait.
Is he moving to Nashville?
Um... He didn't say that.
Maybe y'all could
get a duplex together.
Me and Si are not going
to Nashville together.
I'm moving to Nashville
as a single lady.
I do not need my crazy
Uncle Si rooming with me.
Si retiring is not the only big
thing happening in our family.
Sadie is moving to Nashville.
It's gonna be kind of quiet
around the house without her there.
It is. We'll only have
three kids at home.
I know. That's weird.
That's a lot of kids.
I got Sadie a little
going away present.
- You got me a gift?
- Hmm.
- How about that, huh?
- Oh, wow! Dad!
- Ooh...
- How about a solid gold watch!
- Let me see, let me see.
- Did you really get me this?
You can tote that
around Nashville.
I think it might be a
man's watch, Willie.
It is.
It's a little bit sad seeing
our kids leave home,
but they all come
back eventually.
It's like an eagle returning
to its nest. Is that a thing?
It's nothing like an
eagle returning to its nest.
What about ducks? Do they
come back to their nests eventually?
They get shot.
Why does it say,
"S.R. Hey, I'm retired"?
It's like, "Sadie Robertson.
Hey, you're retired.
You're going to Nashville."
So did Si not want a gold watch?
- Oh.
- He didn't like the idea.
- Well, thanks, Dad.
- All right, you're welcome.
I should not have
gotten it engraved.
So I think we should
have a roast at Si's party.
Like, everybody's
cooking a roast or...?
No, like we're
making fun of him.
He said he was
doing the music, so...
I figure we'd better have
some sort of entertainment.
After giving it some thought,
a comedy roast is the perfect way
to celebrate Si at his retirement party.
Will, they've been roasting
ol' Si for about 50 years.
- Yep.
- It's not real hard to figure out
some way to make fun of Si.
He pretty much
does that on his own.
Ridiculing one another is a
Robertson family tradition,
so I think my family members are
really gonna have some fun with this.
Maybe too much fun.
And I got him a watch, and
I've already re-gifted that.
I tried to pawn it off to Sadie.
I told you it was bad idea.
Well, what in the
world would he want?
- You know what we ought to give him?
- What?
I'd get him a pair of
beaver underwear.
Like a diaper, or would
you buckle it or something?
He's getting to the age
where he might need a diaper.
Think jockey-strap
for the water.
It may get ol'
Christine all fired up.
Here we go.
Well, I don't know, I
think that ship has sailed.
You think it's gonna take
more than beaver underwear?
- Couldn't hurt.
- Oh, boy.
Well, he's been griping for the
last 25 years about that ol' duck call,
that ol' cutout Magnum.
I know, I know. He
won't shut-up about it.
Si's favorite call that we ever
made was called the cutdown.
Unfortunately, the call
is no longer in production.
That's a good idea, if
that's what he wants.
Actually, we killed more ducks
when he didn't have a duck call.
Well, that's true.
- But, you know...
- Save it for the roast.
Problem is, the mold broke,
and to fix it we're gonna
have to go to Mississippi.
That's where all our molds
are for our plastic duck calls.
We'd have to go by the mold
place, resurrect a whole mold.
That's gonna cost more
than a gold watch there, Will.
- Well, it ain't cheap, but you...
- Well, but if we could sell 'em...
- Oh, yeah, you sell 'em.
- You'll sell 'em.
- We need a new call.
- Put down there,
"Si Slayer," you know, "get
'em while they last," whatever.
Yeah, and then we can,
like, give Si the first one...
- Oh, yeah.
- Of the new model.
Can y'all go tomorrow?
You're paying me, I'll
go wherever you want to.
Well... Yeah, let me think.
Maybe even get
a little overtime.
- Oh, boy.
- Mileage.
Quit doing that.
I ran into a wall.
Literally.
I guess y'all wondering
why I brought you out here.
Try to figure where
we're going to lunch.
No, we ain't going to lunch.
You brought us here 'cause you're
old and you have bad judgment.
- No.
- Lunch?
No, not lunch.
'Cause you needed
something to do.
- No.
- Lunch?
Look, you guys need
to focus, all right?
I got two days
left, and then, hey,
all this knowledge
I've got is gone forever.
- So we're not going to lunch?
- No, we ain't going to lunch.
All right, fine. Show
us your knowledge.
- I can show it to you better.
- Oh, well,
he just asked you
to show it, not tell it.
I mean, I hate
to break it to you,
but when I think of
knowledge, I don't think of you.
Knowledge.
Look, as you get older, okay?
You need to share the
wisdom you've gained
with the younger
generation, okay?
It's called...
- Check this out.
- What in the world?
Hey.
- How many plies is this?
- Four-ply.
It's like a cloud, man.
Some of you may think it's
weird that I've got a secret vault
of, you know,
toilet paper at work.
Well, hey, you ever wipe
your behind with a steak knife?
If it's one area that
I'm concerned about
or I'm gonna take care
of, it's gonna be my behind.
- It smells good.
- It does. It's scented.
What are y'all doing?
Oh, we're just checking
out some toilet paper here.
Yeah, I don't think
I even wanna know.
- You wanna borrow some?
- No, thanks.
- What's next, Si?
- I've saved the best for last.
I knew it. That sucker
bought us lunch.
- Okay.
- The grand finale, huh?
The grand finale, this
is the last one, boys.
This better be good.
Well, what do you see behind me?
- Boxes?
- That's what I thought.
- What?
- What in the world is that?
Are you kidding me?
Look at that!
- He gone.
- Okay, boys.
And let the nap begin.
This hidden nap fort takes
things to a whole new level.
It's like Si's Batcave.
But instead of using to fight
crime, he uses it to fight drowsiness.
Hey, look here.
Night light, cooler, bed.
He's got a picture
of a cat in there!
No, that ain't just a
cat. That's Sweet Pea.
That's my compadre.
I can't wait to use
this thing for myself.
Although I'm not gonna drink
out of the iced tea jug in there,
because who knows
how clean that is.
You're missing a urinal.
Actually, is that even iced tea?
Hey, there's my nap fort, boys.
So you came in on your off days
to build something to avoid working?
- Yeah.
- That seems kind of ridiculous.
That's from the man that
don't have himself a nap fort.
- I will fumigate it.
- Yeah, I bet.
You better get a
different mattress.
Oh, no. Ain't nothing
wrong with that mattress.
- Probably got a few stains on it.
- And some fleas.
The mattress is fine, boys.
I ain't built for no backseat.
There's the initial idea
of that cutout Magnum...
- It is hot back here.
- Was to get air...
Would it kill you
to turn the air on?
Inside the plastic, so the
resonance would be greater.
If you put ice cream in a cup,
and it swirls up three inches
above the lip of the cup?
Hey, let's get some ice cream.
When that ice cream melts, you
don't have but a half a cup of fluid.
The reason it stood
up is, it had air in it.
Seriously, if you see
ice cream, let's stop.
Well, he wasn't
talking about ice cream.
- Well, he said ice cream, he said...
- But he's talking about...
We're taking liquid, and
we're creating a solid.
Like a smoothie.
When it comes to the technical
aspects of making duck calls,
Willie is clueless.
But he is paying for this thing.
And he usually buys lunch,
so... he's along for the ride.
Would it kill you to stop
and get some ice cream?
No, we're not getting ice cream.
Is there ice cream there?
Riding along with
my Dad and Willie
kind of brings back memories
of when we were kids.
And I feel the same
way now that I did then.
Maybe if we can get
Willie in a car seat,
it would help him calm
down and be quiet.
Do they have car seats in
husky sizes? Surely they do.
Here it is.
- How long have you been here, Phil?
- Forty years.
All right, Willie, you might
let us do the talking here.
Just have your checkbook ready.
You think they got
ice cream in here?
No.
Here's the plan. The
loading dock is the stage,
and so everything
works off of that.
- Which means... Jep?
- Yeah.
That cannot stay there.
What is that?
It's the photo booth.
Well, it's part of it.
Well, it's not really
a booth, but...
Well, I'm not finished.
Okay. It needs to just, like, move
a little bit, because that's the stage,
and you're pretty much, like,
blocking the stage at this point, so...
- Right.
- It's gotta go that way.
But in most parties nowadays,
like, the photo booth
is like the best thing.
- Well...
- But you don't want it to block anybody.
Yeah, but I have props,
it's gonna be awesome.
Hmm.
You know, the main
part's gonna be the band,
and the, you know,
entertainment.
I'm gonna have to
disagree with you on that.
Maybe, like, over there, kind of
close to where the dumpsters are?
You guys have, like, a
thing against photo booths?
- No, I love photo booths!
- Okay.
- Just making sure.
- I just...
Yeah, it's just... yeah.
It's my photo booth. I'm gonna
put it where I wanna put it.
All right, so, Sadie, let's just
set up all the tables, and then...
set up the chairs.
And then I think
we'll wait till tomorrow
- to put, like, tablecloths on...
- Jep, are you...
- I just broke it.
- Uh-oh.
I think it's fine.
- You need some help?
- No, I got it.
Okay.
- Haters gonna hate.
- Keep...
Keep going.
- A little more.
- Time to get you some Haterade.
These guys just don't understand
what makes a party
a party nowadays.
Your photo booth, you'd
want it front and center.
My photo booth, put it
over here, in the corner.
Nobody puts Jep in the corner.
The Electric Slide, out.
The Macarena, out.
Photo booths? In.
Uh-oh.
Oh, no.
Ooh...
Okay, he's got it.
Not only does it provide tons of
awesome fun, but, in a few years,
Si's gonna need these pictures to
remember this party even happened.
- Let's just start putting chairs out...
- Mom.
We'll get the guys
to do tablecloths.
- Si!
- Si?
Si Robertson, you are
not supposed to be here.
- What are you doing here?
- What?
What do you mean, I
ain't supposed to be here?
- Technically, I still...
- It's your party.
Look, I know. I
got worried, though.
Got worried about what?
Where's my backup band
and me gonna sing from?
- The loading dock.
- No, no, no.
You gotta understand something.
The guys that are coming to back me up?
Let's see how to put this.
"Well known" would
be an understatement.
- You got...
- Okay?
And this would be
rude to them, okay,
to ask them to play
from a loading dock?
We ain't cargo. They
gotta have a stage.
Well, look, that's...
That's a big stage.
No. Hey, I'll tell you what.
I know Willie just
bought that field.
We can put a big
stage out there,
look, put flamethrowers
on each side of the stage.
They will shoot flames like a hundred
feet in the air while we're singing.
Then the pyrotechnical guys
can set up the fireworks behind it
and they'll blow up
everything around here.
- It'll be great!
- Wow!
We weren't really
planning on flamethrowers.
But we have a photo booth
- that's gonna be...
- Well, no.
- Cool.
- No.
Look, these idiots don't
understand what's going on here.
I've got some top notch
musicians coming in here, okay?
- You need to go, we got it.
- All right.
- All right, we got it!
- I'm gon' get out of y'all's hair.
- Bye!
- Think big!
Thinkin' big!
Look, this stage is
an "insultment," okay?
That's an insult and
an embarrassment.
- So I guess we're...
- Don't think big, think colossal!
- Colossal?
- Colossal!
Okay, this place has gotta
look "promazing." Okay?
That's professional
and amazing...
Together! Okay?
- Okay, so I guess...
- Shoot for the stars!
- Shoot for the stars. Okay!
- Okay!
Forget everything we just talked about.
We're gonna put the stage right there.
- So we have to move all this?
- Yeah.
And the photo booth.
Who's gonna tell Jep?
Well, it's been a while since
you've been in here, huh?
- Been a long while.
- There he is!
- What's going on?
- Cam, how you doin'?
Ain't seen y'all in a
while. It's good to see you.
Last time I saw you,
you were a young buck.
- Yeah, that was a while back.
- Hey, how's it going?
Old Bill was a lot younger
than he is now, too.
Yeah, tell us about that, old man.
You haven't been here in forever.
Well, the first time I rode in
here, y'all's receptionist, she said,
"The soup kitchen serves
right on down the road."
I'm like...
That's how it started!
We're trying to get
this cutout Magnum.
If we get it back working,
we'll put it back into production.
And then we're gonna
give Si the first one.
We brought our money man there.
Hey, what's up,
guys? How you doin'?
- Who is that?
- Hey, I'm Willie. Nice to meet you.
So you actually brought
him over here for a change.
That's why he's hiding in the back.
He's waiting on what's it cost here.
So did we talk about how
much it would cost or...
We'll send you a bill later.
- Let me go make some shots.
- Yeah, let's make some shots.
We'll be here.
When I went over there to
talk to him about this latest mold,
I had not been there in
probably 25 years, maybe 30.
So it was kind of like a
walk down memory lane.
Are those the duck calls?
Yeah, these are
bringing back memories.
- Oh, look there!
- That's some of your old...
For 40 years, we've
made a lot of different calls.
Haven't we, though?
I saw some of our old, original
duck calls on the wall, you know?
First thing that crosses
my mind looking around is,
"Boy, we've come a long way."
A long way!
I remember putting
that one together.
- You remember this, Phil?
- I remember it.
The most copied
duck call in the world.
Some super glue and a band saw
and I put that
configuration together.
I came up with the first
Mallard Drake call ever,
first Pintail/Wigeon call,
first Gadwall call,
first Wood Duck call.
Yeah, I can remember
when Phil called me
and told me about he's got us a
call that we're gonna have to make.
And I made it out of
a little child's whistle.
And I said, "Are
you joking, Phil?"
On Christmas day,
I remember that.
- Yep.
- I remember.
When everyone else was
doing whatever they're doing,
I was out there in
that old shed of mine,
trying to get that
sound just right.
It was a chore, but
I stayed the course.
Remember we did this for
Breast Cancer Awareness?
- Yep.
- There's your wood duck.
Still have a few of those.
Si's retiring, so it's
the end of a long era.
But it's in good hands
with old Willie Boy and Jase.
They know what they're doing.
- Here.
- There he goes.
You need to leave
that to the experts.
All right, Jase. I got a
couple shots to try out.
All right.
What's up with this color?
That's the sample color.
- Is that cheaper?
- No.
Crank down on it, Jase.
That is as sweet and
tender as a mother's love.
Willie, pay the man.
The cutdown Magnum
has been resurrected.
We probably won't
sell a whole lot,
that's why we need to
negotiate on the price, but...
- Good work, boys!
- You did good.
I'll call you later.
These Mississippi boys
don't sell themselves!
We'll haggle around our price.
- Good job, man.
- All right!
- $1,500? Is that what we said?
- Yeah, $1,500.
- $1,200. I'll call you later.
- No, 15, see you later.
We'll split the
difference somewhere.
- All right, y'all be good.
- It's a marathon, not a sprint.
Y'all be good!
All right, let's get
some ice cream.
Si's never gonna
know what hit him.
I know.
I don't think we're
gonna know what hit us
once he starts singing.
They don't even
need the amplifiers.
- I mean, you can hear...
- No, you are so right!
There's no volume
control with Si.
- He loves to sing.
- The one skill he possesses is volume.
All right, Si.
- Si, we got you a little shindig.
- Surprise!
- Surprise!
- Look here!
- The man of the hour!
- Here's your slamboree.
Well, look, if I'm the guest of honor
of this thing, let's get the party going!
We're not doing the music.
We're gonna have a little roast first.
What are we doing,
roasting a pig?
No... well, kind of. But
like a super skinny pig.
Oh, y'all are roasting...
Hey, yeah, okay.
- This is gonna be good!
- You'll have a chance to take...
- Okay, this ought to be good!
- Of course it's gonna be good.
Yes, it's just a tradition.
It's all in good fun, Si.
Yeah. Hey, talking about
fun, who made your t-shirts?
- Becca.
- Rebecca, actually.
Hey, normally when
I say the word "Hey,"
I spell it H-E-Y, unless
I'm driving down the road
and I look out there in
the field and I say “Hay!"
Then I'm talking
about a bale of hay.
English is not
Rebecca's first language.
Well, hey, it ain't mine either.
- Hey.
- Hey.
All right, guys, if everybody
can take their seats.
The gloves are off,
buddy! The gloves are off!
Oh, no, the gloves are off!
I want to welcome everybody
to the Uncle Si Retirement Roast.
You know, you have
called us, um, idiots,
morons, dingleberries, maggots,
- even whiskey barrel.
- Oh, wonder who that was.
So now is our time to tell you
what we think of you as well.
Let the roast begin!
I'm not sure what I'm
more relieved about,
the fact that Si's finally
retiring from Duck Commander,
or the fact that this party may actually
measure up to his insanely high standards.
Lucky for us, we have the
perfect thing to kick this party off
and keep his ego in check.
Willie Robertson.
Unlucky for Si, it's a
roast and he's the target.
Now this is gonna be fun.
So Si's retiring.
I'm not gonna be able to
get away from Si, though,
'cause every time
I go to the dentist,
there's a photo of his teeth
up on the wall that says,
"This is what happens
when everything goes wrong."
Roast!
Si was a good student in school.
He told me that the eighth grade
was some of the finest
three years of his life.
He is at an age where he
can no longer trust his farts.
But the good news is, he
went and had a colonoscopy,
and they found his head.
Si is so old
that I told him to act
his age, and he died.
Christine told
him the other day,
"You want to run
upstairs and make love?"
And he said "Hey, pick
one, 'cause I can't do both."
You know, most of the
time, if a guy's being roasted,
he gets to rebuttal against the
guys that's been roasting him.
Most people know
that Si is an avid hunter.
Most ducks do not.
These knuckleheads over here
wouldn't even be able to take
the heat that I bring out here.
When God made
Si, he broke the mold.
- Amen.
- That's right!
And God said, "I'm never gonna
make another one like that."
It'd be like Al, okay?
You know, I'll congratulate
him on all the weight he's lost.
Hey, look, and then
congratulate Willie for finding it!
He would be in tears!
Tea manufacturers have
offered Si endorsement deals
to stop saying
there's tea in his cups.
Consumers are concerned
it leads to hunched back,
bad teeth, and chronic
mispronunciation of words.
Burn!
Like Willie, for example.
He wants to be
known as Boss Hogg.
That means Korie
would be Miss Piggy.
You know, she would be very
upset to be called Miss Piggy.
I'm gon' be the bigger man here.
I'm not gon' say
anything about them.
She needs a chair.
If I have to stand on my
tiptoes the whole time,
this is not right.
Have you thought
about lowering the mic?
No, I didn't know how to do
that. I'm not technical-logical.
- "Technical-logical."
- Yes, you are!
Okay. Some people say
Si's hairstyle is unique.
Because more of it comes
out of his nostrils than his head!
Drop the mic.
Drop it?
And now, to the
good stuff about Si.
He's the closest thing
to a brother I'll ever have.
And he has been one of
the best men I've ever known.
I've never met a more decent
man than Silas Robertson.
Not one.
Love this family,
love everybody in it.
I'm glad that we can
laugh at ourselves
and I think Si
helped teach us that.
Si has served our country
and he makes life fun.
So I love you, Si.
He has been a rock
that's been in our lives.
I love him, and I always
will, and his family.
All right!
All right, Si.
- Appreciate it!
- Whoo!
All right, look, folks.
Now that we got the stupid
roast business out of the way,
we'll get to the entertainment
part of this thing.
Si, how long is it gonna take?
They'll be here any second,
all right? Just settle down.
'Cause I ain't gon'
sing a cappella.
We're all sitting in the sun,
we're ready to be entertained.
They probably had
to wait for the train.
Are they taking a train
or are they taking a bus?
They're coming in buses.
- Yeah!
- Okay! Big bus.
It is a big bus.
- Well, it's a bus.
- Wow!
Wow.
Wow.
Any time now.
Look who we got here!
Yeah!
Y'all welcome ZZ Top, baby!
Are you kidding me?
Si got ZZ Top to
be his backup band.
And here I thought he was gonna
show up with some random honky-tonkers,
not one of the greatest
bands of all time.
- What's happening, my brother?
- How's it going?
- Going good, man.
- Yeah!
Even with Si singing,
this is gonna be awesome.
The only downside now
is that we don't really need the
hundred pairs of earplugs I brought.
I'm not a professional,
I gotta get the lyrics.
That ain't gonna
do you any good.
- Could I borrow them?
- I don't think you need them.
Oh, and that I'll probably be
getting a very expensive bill.
I'm gonna have to postpone my retirement
ten years just to pay for all this.
- Play "Freebird"!
- Godwin wants to hear Taylor Swift.
That's what we wait
for to go out on stage.
"Play some Skynyrd!"
- Okay.
- Okay.
All right, here we go!
One, two! Come on, Si!
- Two, three!
- Four!
♪♪
Oh, yeah!
Come on, Si,
don't hurt yourself!
♪♪
Bam!
Give it up for ZZ Top!
Si, you were actually on key.
Look, even a blind hog
finds an acorn once or twice.
To be on stage with y'all
and actually get to sing
with you has been a blast!
It was actually pretty good!
- And y'all were great.
- Guys, appreciate it.
Thank you again. Wow!
- Fantastic!
- Yes, sir.
- I didn't even know y'all were comin'!
- Excellent.
The guitar pickin' was good
and the singing was not too bad.
Yeah, well, yeah, you got...
- At least you're on key there.
- There you go!
Your beard actually matches.
Well, they probably wash theirs.
I don't do nothing to mine.
- You don't even wash it?
- No.
This is au naturel, son.
Frank would probably have one,
but his last name's Beard, so...
Yeah, your last name is Beard
and you don't even have a beard.
- That's correct.
- Okay, well, he don't need one, then.
- He's got the last name.
- What's your excuse?
Frank and I... Frank and I think that
some faces look too good to cover up.
That's why I grew my
beard in the first place.
I couldn't keep
the women off, so...
You got the same... Hey,
you got the same problem I got.
- Yeah, well, that's comforting.
- Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, Si, look.
Don't bring out no stupid watch.
- Look at what we got you.
- It's not a watch.
- You remember your favorite call?
- Yeah.
The old cutdown Magnum?
That's the old cutdown Magnum?
Yeah, it's back.
Look, we give each other a
hard time a lot of the times.
You know... well, all the time.
But look, it really means a
lot that Phil, Jase, and Willie
gone through this trouble
to bring this duck call back.
And then that's what you gave
me, is the first one that y'all made.
So it's really special.
- The resurrected cutdown Magnum.
- Okay.
I thought it'd give you
incentive to stay alive.
I really feel lucky
that I was actually a part of
this company for all these years.
And for the record, hey,
it's way better than any stupid gold
watch you could've come up with.
Y'all ready to
eat?! Let's go eat.
Yeah, I am, but I know you are.
Si, the roast is over.
No, the roast's just
beginning, son, we fixin' to eat!
All right, let's bow.
Father, we thank
You for this good food.
We're not taking it for granted
how much You have blessed us.
You offered it to
us free of charge,
and all You ask of us is to love
You and to love our neighbor.
In the name of Jesus I pray, Who
made all these things possible, amen.
- Amen!
- Well, let's dig in.
They say all good things
must come to an end.
But the truth is, they
never really come to an end
because you always have the memories
of what made them good in the first place.
Sometimes those good things
can even reinvent themselves
and turn into other good things,
like a classic duck call
brought back into production,
or Uncle Si launching a
music career in his late 60s.
Okay, maybe that's not a
good thing for anyone's ears,
but you get my point.
This may be the end of an era,
but it's also the beginning
of a new chapter,
one that will bless us
with more good things,
good people, and good memories.
And for that, we are thankful.
Actually, does this really
have to come to an end?
I mean, if I keep talking,
they won't cut me off, right?
And I can talk for a long time.
So I guess we'll find
out if they can cut...
All right, boys, he's
gone for good this time.
That's a wrap, Jack.