Duck Dynasty (2012–2017): Season 10, Episode 13 - Bro'd Trip - full transcript

You talking 'bout
good ice cream, boys.

You say that every
time you eat any ice...

No, this one here is the
best ice cream I've ever had.

- How many is left?
- There's one left.

- Dibs!
- I got it.

- I called it! What?
- Hold it!

- Settle it like men.
- That's right.

- Arm wrestle.
- A belly dancing contest.

What?

- Arm wrestle.
- Belly dancing contest.

- No.
- No.



- Hey.
- Arm wrestling.

- Godwin versus Martin.
- Assume the position.

- Assume the position.
- Winner take all.

Ready. Set. Go!

Take him, take him, take him.

Hey, he picked his elbow up.

Godwin wins! Give
him the ice cream.

Give me my ice cream.

- Give Godwin the ice cream.
- I hate him. Can I have a bite?

- I'll give you a bite.
- Don't get that on the duck calls, okay?

- No ice cream on the duck calls.
- Don't worry.

Jase, I need you to
go to Arkansas with me.

Pitching the new Strut
Commander line of calls.

This is the best ice
cream I've ever had.



- Okay, let’s focus.
- What's in Arkansas?

Ty Reynolds. He's a distributor.

It's a big deal, so I need
you to blow the calls.

- What?
- He asked for you specifically.

He's concluded that, okay, if you
wanna know how the calls work,

I better get Jase.

Blow the calls, don't say
anything else. All right?

- What?
- Jase, this one's got to go, all right?

Our company developed a new
turkey call to expand our brand.

And now it's time for the
hard part: I need to go sell it.

I have, like, one of the
greatest records in meetings...

- Really?
- Of all time. Yeah.

You know the saying, "The
customer is always right?"

Well, Jase doesn't. He
has his own sales methods.

I give 'em something that
they've never heard before.

Jase, you called
a buyer an idiot.

And did he come back around?

Like, seven years later,
we finally got back in.

But he came back.

Like the time he asked a
customer if he wore a toupee.

Or showing up to a
meeting soaking wet.

- You don't call buyers idiots.
- Well, he was.

That's why I don't want you
saying a word. Just blow the call...

All I want you to do is...

Or when he arm wrestled a client for
ten thousand dollars’ worth of business.

Spoiler alert, he lost.

Fine. Why don't you leave where
I can work on my presentation.

It's not a presentation. You
just make a turkey sound.

- It's a presentation.
- You're not doing a presentation.

- Blow a turkey call, that's it.
- What I do is not easy.

Y'all were just arm wrestling.
I don't even wanna hear it.

- No respect. None.
- Jase, no words. Just...

Turkey, that's it.

- There you go.
- No English language.

Talk about an idiot. I
got an idiot for a brother.

Jase...

Idiot.

Do I get a longer lunch
break since I'm in charge?

You're not in charge, okay?
We're just gonna be out,

and I need you take care of a
couple of things while we're gone.

You got two jobs. Make sure
that duck call shipment gets out,

and lock the door behind
you. That's it. Pretty simple.

- Can I have a company card to...
- You're not getting a company card.

- I'll leave $20 for you to get lunch.
- Twenty dollars?

It's a special day for you. This
is like a... "win a wish" type thing.

- Can I sit in your chair?
- No. Lock the doors after...

- Lock door.
- Make sure you get the order out. Okay?

Lock door, exclamation
point. Lock door.

- There. Got it.
- Right. What are you writing down?

I'm writing down
the stuff I gotta do.

I also drew a picture
of you. It's pretty good.

Okay, see, you're not...
This is what I'm worried about.

I'm scared you're not
gonna get the order out.

- I'm gonna get the order out, dude.
- Two jobs. Um...

One more, actually. Whoo!

One more really important thing. I
actually want you to write this down.

I've got a package coming in.

Make sure that gets on
my... Put it in my desk, okay?

- Okay.
- All right.

And don't stay in my office,
okay? End up in your office.

When you finish writing,
then go to your office.

You're in good hands, buddy.

I'm the captain now. I
should write that down.

Jase, let's go.

- Get whatever you need and let's go.
- All right, we gotta bring Tom.

- Who?
- This is the star of the show.

- Is that a real turkey?
- Yeah. I just got him.

- I'm gonna use him as a demonstration...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

- You're not... we're not taking a turkey.
- You said don't talk.

I got a turkey, we're
gonna let him do the talking.

I'm pretty sure you can't take
a live turkey into these offices.

You just haul him in
there and let him out.

Have you lost your mind?

There's a reason why Jase is
behind the scenes making duck calls,

and I'm on the front
line selling them.

Let me show you what it'll
do, and then that'll settle it.

All right, let's see if it
does anything. We gotta go.

People wanna buy a product
from someone they trust.

- Come on, Tom. Come on.
- Jase, hurry up.

Not some psychopath who brings
a live turkey to a business meeting.

Jase, we don't have
infinite time on this meeting.

What if the turkey goes crazy and
starts pecking out people's eyes?

Look it there, he's
bristling up. Ha.

- Oh, yeah, kick him, baby.
- That's unbelievable.

Oh!

A little show jab to the face.

That's pretty
awesome, I gotta admit.

You think he'll do that
in an office building?

- Of course he will.
- Load that sucker up. We'll take him on.

My only problem
is I can't figure out

how to get him back in
the cage once he does it.

- Jase.
- I'm gonna need you to flank him.

What do you mean,
flank? I don't understand.

As far as birds go, the turkey
is a pretty smart creature.

But compared to Willie,
this turkey is a genius.

Oh, oh, oh! That's your flank.

Uh-oh! We got a
runner. Got a runner.

I'm actually trying to use a
strategy to catch this thing.

But Willie's just chasing him around
like a little kid chasing a balloon.

Good. Good move there.

Go in the obvious place.

Aw, crap.

On the plus side, this is the most
exercise I've seen Willie do in years.

I got him, y'all. Calm down.

Calm down. Nothing to see.

I'll have him at this point.

See? That wasn't hard.

Just came out my mouth.

On second thought,
maybe this is a bad idea.

I'm not going
without that turkey.

This is what we
need to do, guys.

We're gonna clean up
this warehouse a little bit.

And we're gonna
get all the orders out.

- We're not cleaning, no.
- We gonna get some more pay then?

- I might get paid more.
- I'm like you.

- I've moved up in positions.
- We've spent our whole lives

trying to do less work
and get the same money.

When I was where you guys
are at now, I felt the same way.

- You still are where we're at.
- Actually, no. Actually, no.

Now, I am the ICEO.
I'm the Interim CEO,

and that's a big deal
to a lot of companies.

- No.
- Let's everybody clean up a little bit.

- Why?!
- Just do it for five minutes,

- see how we feel.
- Five minutes?

Let's do it. Come on, guys.

Look, Jep being left in
charge is pure nepotism.

Hey, let's call it Jep-otism.

- Have we even got a broom around here?
- It's in the broom closet.

Godwin, you get those
calls together, brother?

Taking orders from Jep is like, you
know, taking orders from a can of tuna

that you found under
the front seat of your truck.

And I would say maybe
count while you're going.

Let's do a little mild
inventory just to say we did it.

Look, it's kind of
smelly and hairy...

Si, I'm going to have to
sweep all that up again.

- No, hey, that's perfect.
- At least you're getting it in a pile,

I'll give you that.

And you wish you could go
back to pretending it's not there.

- Hats are done. What else?
- Guys, I'm impressed.

Place is looking a
thousand times better.

- Package for Willie Robertson.
- Oh, yes, ma'am.

I am not Willie, but
I'm actually the ICEO.

Doesn't really matter,
baby. Anybody can sign for it.

Okay. I-C-E-O.

Thank you so much.
Been waiting for this.

And there's also some outgoing
packages, are they ready?

Did y'all get the stuff
done yet? The order?

- You had us cleaning up.
- Yeah.

Can you give us, like,
a couple of minutes?

- Gotta hurry up, I'm real busy.
- Let's do it.

- Tight schedule.
- We can do it. Do it quick. Go quick.

As a manager, you gotta be able
to blame whoever made the mistake,

even if that's yourself.

You got the labels?

- Olive hats.
- I'm in a hurry, you guys. I gotta go.

And this time, it's definitely
everybody else's fault.

- That one's heavy. Hats.
- Gotta go.

A boss is only as
strong as his employees.

- That's it. We're good. We got it.
- These are overnight.

And those employees should
be able to remember their task

- and the task that I forget.
- Thank you. Thanks for waiting.

- Thank you.
- Nice job, guys.

Or I might find
myself as the ex-ICEO.

We got the orders out,
we got the package.

That mean we can take the rest
of the day off? We're done, huh?

Did y'all move that
box that was right here?

- What you talking about?
- There was one box

in the corner by
itself, right here.

Hey, you told me to
slap a label on everything.

- I promise you, it got loaded.
- That's it.

I didn't want it to get loaded,

- That was Willie's package!
- Well, you shouldn't of put it here.

We was just doing
what you told us to do.

We labeled everything and we cleaned up
everything and we shipped everything out.

- Everything.
- Everything.

Exactly. Willie's
going to kill me, man.

This was the number one
thing he told me not to screw up.

Well, hey, it makes you the worst
temporary boss we've ever had.

We've got to go to the shipping
place to get that package back.

What do you mean "we?"

When you say something,
like, in the meeting,

I'll respond with the turkey call, and
then you translate what I'm saying.

- Jase.
- I'm serious.

Then we'll bring in
the turkey, let's do that.

All right, when he says,
"Hey, how are you doing?"

I have the turkey
call, and I'm like...

- Jase.
- It'll break the ice!

You can't go in there all stiff
talking about a bunch of numbers.

Nobody wants to talk
about that, this guy's bored.

Jase, you gotta
have a business plan.

Jase, are you going to
do that the whole trip?

Well... pretty much.

A road trip with Jase is a
lot like a trip to the dentist.

It's uncomfortable and painful,

but every once in a
while, you just got to do it.

Yep, no one loves the sound of their
own voice more than my brother Jase.

I think I could do
a dog in distress.

Jase.

Jase. Jase, Jase.

Well, except for
maybe that turkey.

Oh, hey, buddy!

I mean, that sucker is
having the time of his life.

That makes one of us.

I'm the captain now.

Hey, you lost it, it's gone.

And look, you going to owe
Willie for the rest of your life.

- You're going to owe him.
- No, you're the ICEO.

But I'll be sure to tell Willie what a
bang-up job you did as your interim.

I'm going to tell him he
needs to fire you ASAP.

- Hey, good luck with that. Right.
- There it is right there, let's go!

- Put the pedal to the metal.
- Hey...

Don't let the sucker
get in the building.

No, we got her!
We got her! Patty!

- Hey, Patty... you're not Patty.
- Definitely not Patty.

Hey, um, do you
know Patty? She gone?

The only Patty I know that
works for us is at the other location

- on the other side of town, bud.
- Dude, we got to get a package.

- Sorry.
- Well, come on.

- Let's go see if we can catch her!
- You're not gonna make it on time.

We're about to close.

Sorry, best you can do is 7:00
in the morning they open up.

- We'll be there at 6:30.
- All right.

God! How much
worse can this day get?

Right here, right
here, whoa! This is it.

This was the best place you could
find? This place looks like a dump!

It's got air conditioning!
That's all you need.

If it's nasty, I ain't staying there,
I'm telling you that right now.

You told me to line it up, I
lined it up. What's the problem?

Oh, my goodness!

Oh, my gosh! Are you kidding?

The smell's not
good, I'll give you that.

Jase, I gave you one job:
make sure you get us a hotel.

- I did get us a hotel.
- This is not a hotel, this is a motel.

Very motel.

I'm not sure why Willie
is so upset with this motel.

I'm not sleeping in the same bed
with you, I can tell you that right now.

- Sleep on the floor.
- Are you kidding?

Although the floor
looks nicer than the bed.

It was either this room
or the honeymoon suite,

with a big heart-shaped
tub in the middle of it,

with a bed that
you put quarters in.

I'll give you the top bed
spread, I'll take whatever's left.

Compared to that,
we hit the jackpot!

Jase, I'm going to get
another room at least.

Good luck. We got the last one.
What can I say? This place is hoppin'!

Besides, they gave me a deal
because I got it for the whole night.

That's disgusting! I'm
sleeping in the truck.

No.

They may have already
shipped this sucker out!

- No, it's got to be here.
- It's still early!

Come on!

I can't believe you dragged
your wife into this mess!

Well, I needed backup!

I just want somebody
to open this stupid door.

I'd be a terrible,
like, police officer

because I couldn't sit in a car
and surveil somebody. Surveil?

Huh? I don't know.

- Surveillance is a...
- Stakeout.

Yeah, I wouldn't be good
at stakeouts. Right there!

- There's somebody right there!
- Let's go, let's get it.

Don't let him get
back in the building.

Patty! Hey, Patty.

Hey, sir! You're not Patty.
I got a question for you.

- Yes, sir!
- We need to find a package

that was accidentally shipped
to here, we know it's here.

It was shipped to the
wrong address is what it was.

- Yeah.
- And it's really valuable.

- Si Robertson, is that you?
- Stinky, is that you?

I knew that was you, Si
Robertson! How are you doing, man?

- I'm doing good.
- Good to see you!

It's been 50, what, 50
something odd years?

- Fifty years!
- Me and this man

- went to fifth grade together.
- You look 20 years older than him.

Hey, watch your mouth,
young lady. No respect.

Hey, look, I'd appreciate
it if you'd do us a favor.

Maybe you can let
us, like, get that box?

- Come on, Stinky, for old time's sake!
- I tell you what.

Let me see what I can do. Give
me one second. Give me a second.

- Thank you, Stinky!
- I think you smell great, by the way.

Thank you.

When it comes to getting things
done, look, I'm all about connections.

- Whoo!
- All right.

Guys, these came
in early this morning.

Duck Commander. Y'all
know what you're looking for?

I mean, I don't really
want to open all of them.

Look, Jep ain't as
connected as I am.

That's the reason
I should be ICEO.

That ain't it.

- Y'all need to decide which one it is.
- That ain't it.

You're opening shipped
containers already.

That ain't it. That's closed.

Look, trust me when I tell you,

I got bros in all
sorts of area codes!

Y'all opened everything
but the bottom three.

- I think this it.
- Is that it?

- This is it!
- Is that it?

- This is it.
- That's it.

- Are you sure?
- Yeah, that's it.

- I hope that's it.
- This is it.

- What the crap?
- What is this?

- That's stupid golf tees.
- Golf tees!

"Willie, we'd love to talk to you about
branding opportunities in the future.

Until then, please enjoy these
complementary custom golf tees."

Boo-yah!

Jep, you wasted all
day on stupid golf tees.

Yes. The ICEO saves
the day once again.

Case closed!

What do y'all want me to do
with all these packages now?

- Do you mind re-packaging them for us?
- Yeah, it...

- Thank you Stinky!
- Thank you, Stinky! We're so sorry.

I'm sorry... for being
the best ICEO ever!

- This is it.
- This doesn't look like an office.

We ain't taking that turkey in this
house, I can tell you that right now.

- What are you talking about?
- I thought it was gonna be somewhere

you could hose off,
not in his living room.

- Bad idea.
- Hey, stick with the script, son.

Sales gimmicks
definitely have their place,

but that place is not the living
room of a multi-million-dollar mansion.

Stand right there. When he
opens the door don't move,

because I don't want
him seeing that turkey.

- What?
- Actually, I'll just walk in halfway.

Hello, Ty! What's going on?

Oh, no, no. Stay
seated, no need to get up!

I'm rolling the dice as it is
just by having Jase here at all.

There's no way I'm taking that
turkey tornado into this guy's house!

- This place is awesome, wow!
- Well, thank you.

- How's business for you guys?
- Oh, man, it's good.

We, uh, you know we've
been making some turkey calls.

We got the Strut Commander.

Yeah, yeah. Jase, what about
you, what you been doing?

I see.

So, look, we've got some box
calls, and we got the mouth calls,

which Jase has been
chirping on there.

They're super good,
we've tested them out.

I know it's a new product, but we're
coming off the Duck Commander brand

- which we know is tried and true.
- Right, right.

And, um, we think it's going
to be a good venture, so...

I'm doing this one by the book.

Sell him on the product, sell
him on us, collect the money.

Well, I'd like to start off a
little conservatively, if I could.

- That's fine.
- Start with 500 of each.

Oh, that's great, we can start... that's
a good... that's a good way to start.

That's how it's done, kids.
All that's left is the paperwork.

No, I just think that's
kind of low. You know?

And the part where Jase
talks back to the customer

and endangers the whole deal.

Jase, that's not low,
that's a good 500.

If you saw these things
work on real live turkeys,

I guarantee you it would
change your opinion.

- That is a good idea.
- Next week we can go hunting.

I actually have a live turkey
in the back of Willie's truck.

No way. You got a
turkey in your truck?

- Well, we were...
- I'd love to see it!

I'll be right back.

Well, I didn't want to bring a
turkey in your house, I'm not sure...

It's okay, I don't
mind, I'd like to see it.

- It's like a real turkey.
- I want to see if they work!

- It's a real turkey...
- I understand, that's all good.

I don't know what this
guy's definition of good is,

but I'm fairly confident that
whatever's about to happen ain't it.

- Oh, goodness!
- I told you it's a real turkey.

- It is a real turkey.
- How crazy is that?

- Awesome.
- I don't want him tearing stuff up

'cause he's hard to
get back in the cage.

If that stupid bird destroys this
guy's house and blows our sale,

both he and Jase are
riding home in that cage.

Oh, yeah, there
we go. Here we go.

- It's exciting, isn't it?
- I don't think he's doing anything.

Of course, a little
enthusiasm would be nice.

That call's working.

Anything at all.

Turkey looks like it
might not be feeling well.

No, that turkey's fine.

Just take a step to let us
know that you're not dead.

Here he comes. Here he comes.

- Family good, everything's good?
- Just go ahead and write this up

- for 250 apiece.
- Two-fifty apiece, okay.

So we... I thought we said... I could've
swore we said 500 each, but maybe...

- Oh!
- Want to do the paperwork in here?

I've got a little office
in there we can go do it.

Cool, let's go,
yeah, let's go, yeah.

Probably should have
done this to start with.

Just right off the bat, we
probably should have just sat down.

- Hang on, I'm telling you...
- Jase!

Jase, I think it's over. Gotta
know when to say when, bro.

All right, let's pray.

Father we're so thankful for all
the many things you've given us.

Father, we're thankful for our
business, thank you for this family,

and we just pray that you continue to
bless us, through Jesus we pray, amen.

- Amen!
- Let's get on that turkey! Gobble, gobble.

Life is full of opportunities.

And I've learned that it's what
you do with those opportunities

that defines you as a person.

Whether you're temporarily
filling in at the office,

or stuck looking like a
turkey at a sales meeting,

what's most important is that you try
your best and learn from your mistakes.

While opportunities can
sometimes be overwhelming,

take comfort in the fact that your
family will always be there to support you,

unless they bring a wild turkey.

In that case, everything's
uncomfortable.

This turkey is delicious!

Well, at least the turkey
did something right.