Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 3, Episode 3 - Dream Big - full transcript

See that inspiring model there?

That was me, Deb

Till the day I died,

I thought I'd go
straight to heaven,

but there was a bit of a mix-up

and I woke up in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane,

a super-busy lawyer
with my very own assistant.

I got a new life,
a new wardrobe,

and the only people who really
know what's going on with me

are my girlfriend Stacy
and my guardian angel, Fred.



I used to think everything
happened for a reason...

Whoo!

And, well,
I sure hope I was right.

Hi...Bill.

This is Jane...Bingum.

Um, I was just checking in
to see how you're doing...

Since yesterday morning
when you left my house

and said you'd call.

Anyway, um, call me.

Hi.

- What was that?
- Nothing.

You just next-day dialed
the doctor, didn't you?

No. Maybe.

- And you slept with him on the first date.
- Oh, my God.



Did Stacy tell you?

No, it was just a guess...
That paid off.

So, you must be feeling...

Please don't say "dirty"
or "whore-y."

I was gonna say,
"on fire."

Teri, he still hasn't
called yet.

Is everything set for
Grayson's bachelor dinner party?

Four courses... elegant and
dignified just like you asked.

Perfect.
And my 2:00?

- Already in your office.
- Thank you.

- Good afternoon.
- Good afternoon.

Hi.
I am Jane Bingum.

- Hi.
- How can I help you?

Well...
We want to sue a sperm bank.

Oh.

Wait, I know
what you're thinking...

"Yawn. Another dwarf
suing a sperm bank."

Eli.

I conceived my son with the help
of a company named Zygolife.

I'm sorry.
Please sit down.

Here's the thing...
I have a wonderful child...

Perfect, really...

Mom, seriously,
you don't have to qualify.

Ms. Bingum,
despite my "perfection,"

I was born with some issues.

You probably haven't noticed,
but...

I'm a little person.

Wow. You don't say.

The problem isn't being small.

It's the associated
medical conditions...

Scoliosis,
early onset arthritis.

The official diagnosis
is achondroplasia.

I put together
the relevant information.

In a growth factor
receptor called FGR3.

Mm-hmm.

And I'll need physical therapy and
medication for the rest of my life.

Well, that costs money.

Life costs money.
We're doing okay.

You're working three jobs, mom.

She doesn't have the mutation.

So the only explanation
is Zygolife's sperm.

Now, check this out.

They promised "state-of-the-Art
genetic screening."

Wow.
This is impressive.

I have a lot of time waiting
for doctor's appointments.

The point is...
Zygolife screwed up,

and we want to take them
to court.

Okay.

Kaswell.

Parker?

I was just in the neighborhood

and thought I would drop by
to return this.

Are you crazy?!

This is my place of work.

But I'm actually glad
you're here.

Really?

Yes, I'm interviewing
at other firms.

I've heard.

Then why the hell are you ignoring
my request for recommendations?

I've been busy.

But not too busy
to return my panties.

Thank you very much.

Welcome.

Psst!

Hey, you.

Hey, you.

So, I'm just making sure
that we are still on

for drinks with my dad
after your bachelor party.

Not a party.
Just a dinner.

- Right.
- And, yes, see you guys at 10:00.

Um, can I...
can I ask you a favor?

Anything.

Well, I think that my dad

was just a little disappointed
that you didn't check with him.

He wants me to ask
for your hand?

- I know.
- I know it's old-fashioned.

But he's a judge.
He likes tradition and ritual.

And you're sure
you don't mind me treating you

like a piece of property?

Oh, absolutely.
Demand my hand, please.

Hey, but if he says no, I'll
offer him two goats and a mule.

Not funny.

Oh. Got to go.

Okay. Bye.

Love you.

I love you, too.

First course...
Prosciutto di Parma,

which I know you love.

Second course...
ricotta-and-egg ravioli,

which you've never had,
but you'll love.

Third course...
lobster alla diavolo,

my personal favorite.

And for dessert...
rosemary olive-oil cakes.

- Sounds perfect.
- I know, right?

Ah, there he is,
the man of the hour.

It better last
more than an hour,

'cause we have a lot to eat.

Good news, people.
There's been a change of plans.

- What?
- I canceled the restaurant

and re-booked us
at La Muse Gentlemen's Club.

Limo is waiting downstairs.

- Wha... awesome.
- What's a gentlemen's club?

Teri, no.

Going to a club with
half-naked women bouncing around

is not what Grayson wants
for his bachelor party.

It's what every man wants
for his bachelor party.

Am I right?

No arguing with the boss.

Yeah!

Cute outfit.

It comes in four colors.

I know. I have it
in the other three.

Freddy, show her some love.

Oh.

I'm good.

God, I miss law school.

Hey, Vanessa.
Sorry for the voicemail.

But Parker
kind of changed things up.

It's gonna be a late night.

How about lunch tomorrow?

You, me, your dad... and I-I
promise I'll ask for your hand.

You okay?

Smoke aggravates my asthma.

You should tell your boss.

That would be Bobby Z.
And he could care less.

Come on, hon. That pole ain't
gonna make any money on its own.

I need some fresh air, Bobby.

On your own time.

My advice...

Mention California labor
section 6400 to the jerk.

- You're a lawyer?
- Yeah.

- Well, so is he.
- Good.

Then he knows
that the law says,

"an employer must provide
a place of employment

that's both
safe and healthful."

Good to know, Mr...

Kent.
Grayson Kent.

Do you want a lap dance...
on the house?

Thanks, but I should get back
to my bachelor party.

- Oh, no, thank you.
- Okay.

Okay. All right.

Nice French tips.
Tips.

Honey, you got to loosen up.

Yeah! Be cool, Jane!

I'm loose! I'm cool!

'Cause I-I've always been afraid
to try it.

Start from the center of the eye
and work your way out. It's easy.

I will try that. Thank you.

Oh, God, I got to grab this
'cause it could be the doctor.

I mean, not my doctor.
Well, he's kind of my...

I don't really know,
'cause we're kind of dating

but we're not really dat...

Oh! Oh, God!

Excuse me. Sorry.

Thank you.

Hey, watch it.

Oh, God.

Hello?!

Hey, sweetie,
has the doctor called?

Uh, no.
No, not... not yet.

- Why is it so loud at the restaurant?
- What?!

I can't hear you!

Well, I can't hear you!

Hey!
That's what I just said!

Stacy, I can't even hear you!
Stacy!

Well, have fun.

Oh, bring home some dessert.

Okay. Hey.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, I am off to work.

- Good morning.
- It certainly is, Jane.

Fred, Fred, ah.
You forgot your...

Oh, my tie. Yes.

Thank you, my love.

Everything
seems hunky-dory.

You'd think so, but no.

Not hunky. Not dory.

What's going on?

I think Fred
is hiding something.

Every time
I ask him about his past,

he changes the subject
or distracts me with sex.

Oh. Well, you know,
Fred is a...

He...
He's a very private person.

Or he's not
who he claims to be.

Well, who else would he be?

You've never heard
of Witness Protection

or the C.I.A.

Or "Mrs. Doubtfire"?

Stacy, no. It...

Then why won't he tell me
anything personal?

- You know him.
- W-what do you think?

Um, I think,
I need to get to court.

Um...

I'm suing a sperm bank
on behalf of a little person.

You have a great job.

I know.
How'd I get so lucky?

Oh, yeah.
I crashed into a truck.

Bye.

Bye.

- Remember me?
- Of course.

The asthmatic dancer.

Said the lousy lawyer.

Excuse me?

I complained about the smoke
machine, and I got fired.

What? Employees can't be fired
for asserting their rights.

My boss, Bobby Z, said
that I'm not an employee.

He said that
I'm an "independent..."

"...contractor."

Which is what employers
call their employees

when they want to dodge
the laws.

So...
Where does that leave me?

With a lawsuit.

I'll get you
an expedited hearing today.

Oh, that is, if you don't mind

being represented
by a "lousy lawyer."

I'm sorry.
That was mean.

I have to reschedule a lunch
with my father-in-law-to-be,

and then we'll head to court.

I'm gonna meet you there.

I want to pick up
my lucky pumps.

Judges love 'em.

17 years ago,
Eli Haller was born.

But because of a negligent
failure by the defendant,

his mother now bears
the financial burden

of paying
for the associated costs

due to his medical conditions
that could have been prevented.

On behalf
of Zygolife incorporated,

I move for summary judgement.

Plaintiff has failed to state

a cause of action upon
which relief can be granted.

The cause of action
is negligence...

Straightforward
and demonstrable.

She may be calling it
"negligence,"

but this is actually
a wrongful-life suit...

She's saying Ms. Haller should
never have given birth to her son.

Such suits are barred,
per California Civil Code 43.6.

We are not suing
for wrongful life,

only for the medical costs

associated
with Mr. Haller's conditions.

- It amounts to the same thing.
- No, but...

Sorry. I agree.
This Avenue is closed.

I...
I'm sorry.

It's okay, Ms. Bingum.

- I will come up with another way.
- No.

- Mom!
- You heard the judge.

Let's go.

What are you doing here?

I have been
a bad guardian angel.

Well, we all know that's true.

Why the sudden realization?

Teri told me you
were stressing out

because you haven't heard back

from the
did-it-on-the-first-date doctor.

Um, he's a neurosurgeon.

And what are you
gonna do about it?

I could offer advice.

- I could listen.
- I am at your service.

Okay, yeah,
I think I liked you better

when you were
more self-absorbed.

- Did you call him?
- Yes.

Maybe he didn't get the message.
You should call him again.

I called four times.

Maybe I should have gotten
to you sooner.

You know, Fred, right now

maybe you should focus on
your own relationship.

What?

Why?
It's amazing.

Do you know something?

Stacy thinks you have a secret

because you never talk
about your past.

I'm a guardian angel.
I don't have a past.

Well, you better figure out something
to say before this all ends badly.

Would she believe that
I'm a Romanian gymnast

who didn't have a childhood?

Keep working on it.

Your honor,
Sierra Santell is an employee

and therefore entitled
to the protections

afforded employees
by state law.

Dancers like Sierra have
historically been considered

independent contractors.

They come and go
as they choose.

They move from club to club

and therefore
are not employees.

In Hart vs. Rick's cabaret,

a federal judge defined an
employee as working for someone

who "has complete control
over workplace activities."

Here, my client's employer
determined where she worked,

- when she worked...
- Oh!

And he also picked my music.

And in the bathroom,
there's a sign

for all employees to wash their
hands... which I do.

There you have it.

By law, she is an employee...
with clean hands.

I agree.

Ms. Santell is hereby reinstated
as an employee at la muse,

with all benefits retroactive
to the date of hire.

Uh, Ms. Santell?

Love the shoes.

Told you.

How does this sound?

"In conclusion, Kim Kaswell

"is not just a brilliant lawyer
and an inspiring leader,

she is one of the most decent
human beings I have ever met."

- What are you doing?
- I heard Parker's

refusing to write
recommendations on Kim's behalf,

so I thought we could do it.

Why would we want to do it?

'Cause if she gets a job
at another firm,

she won't be coming back here.

I thought
you would like the idea.

No.

It's not that.
I let Eli down.

My motion on the Haller case

got rejected faster than
Galliano's spring collection.

My cousin used a sperm bank.
Totally state-of-the-Art.

She wanted a baby half-Korean,
half-Brazilian.

Now she's got a math whiz
with a totally hot bod.

Mark my words...
custom-made babies

are the natural evolution
of our culture.

When they make ones
that don't cry, sign me up.

Teri, you are a genius.

I know. Why?

Send Zygolife a notice of
discovery demanding information

on how they screened
their sperm in 1993.

Okay.

Then call Molly Haller
and tell her I'm on my way.

We just got
a new cause of action.

Which is...

Zygolife claimed that their
"product" was state-of-the-Art.

We're suing
for product liability.

You want to compare my son
to a busted toaster?

A toaster? No.

Uh, yes and no.

We are suing
for product liability

as a way
around Zygolife's defense.

- That's awesome.
- No, it's repulsive.

It's a means to an end.

It's what I've been fighting
against since Eli was born.

He's not a defective product.

I am not saying he's defective,
absolutely not.

I'm saying that Zygolife's
state-of-the-Art process

was defective.

That's splitting hairs.

Mom...
I'm sorry.

No one's ever gonna say

that you are not perfect
just the way you are.

Please leave.

Come on.

Hello.

Hi!

Eli, you scared me.
I-I didn't see you come in.

No one did.
I'm desk height.

Right.

The product-liability angle,
let's do it.

Okay, I really do want to help
you, but your mom said no.

You think we can win, right?

I think we'd have a shot.

This morning,
we got an eviction notice.

Three jobs... and my mom
can't afford rent and...me.

This isn't getting any better,

- and you could do something about it.
- Not without your mom.

If the judge says
he'll let this go forward,

then I'll talk to her.

I don't want to upset her
unless it's for real.

Okay.
I'll work up a petition.

And we will give this
our best shot.

Thanks.

Mr. Kent?
You're ruining our lives.

Uh, care to elaborate?

You got us all reclassified
as employees.

That's what we wanted.

Not sure why.
Being an employee sucks.

We used to make
a grand a night in tips.

And now Bobby Z says
that since we're employees,

all of our tips
are corporate earnings,

so he gets to keep 'em.

That wasn't my intention.

That's not good enough.

- Desiree.
- No, she's right.

I'll call Bobby Z,
see what I can do.

Told you guys he'd help.

- He couldn't make it worse.
- Uh, one moment.

Hey!

Hey...

What's going on in there?

New clients.

Oh, ah.
They look more like...

- Strippers.
- And we're both right.

You missed drinks with my dad,

then lunch, and now you've got
a roomful of girls.

- Are you going through something?
- No, no.

Look, lunch tomorrow
with you and your dad,

and I promise I will not leave

until I ask my future
father-in-law for your hand.

Okay.

Hello, ladies.
Lovely to meet you.

Good luck with the case.

In 1993,
a company called Westin Labs

began offering a DNA test
for mutations

in the growth factor
receptor FGR3.

That test would have caught
Eli's condition,

had it been used.

We didn't know about the test
back then.

And neither did most
of the scientific community.

Only 30%
of Zygolife's competitors

used the test in 1993.

How can my client be responsible
for a test he didn't know about?

They sold a faulty product.

Whether or not they
should have known about the test

is a jury question.

I agree.

I'm granting your petition,
Ms. Bingum.

Thank you.

Now, hold on. The cause of
action is product liability.

- That's right.
- In product-liability matters,

the statute of limitations

expires two years
after receipt of the product.

- How old are you, Eli?
- 17.

Ms. Bingum, you're 15 years
too late to bring this suit.

- We move to dismiss.
- Okay, hold... hold on.

I move to substitute
Eli Haller as the plaintiff,

- and I name myself "guardian ad litem".
- What?

It means she'll be my guardian
for the purposes of...

I understand what she's asking.

Eli's 17.
The statute of limitations

doesn't start
for an individual until 18.

So Molly Haller
is no longer my client.

Eli is.

And the trial starts tomorrow.

Honey! I'm home!

Oh! Just in time
for a seaweed smoothie.

It's good for your stamina,

not that you need any help.

- Looks delicious.
- Mm.

Stacy, I-I've been thinking...
Uh, we need to talk.

- Oh?
- No, I just, uh...

I've been focusing so much
on us

that I haven't really told you
anything about myself,

and I-I feel
like sharing.

Oh.

So, is there anything
that you want to ask me?

Because I am ready to tell you

whatever it is
that you want to know.

I'm an only child
from San Diego.

My favorite color is aqua.

I am a pisces,
although on the weekend,

I feel a little bit more
like an aquarius.

Oh, my God! I feel so much
closer to you right now.

Mmm!

That...
Do you want to...

You want to go into the bedroom
and test out my stamina?

What about your parents?

My parents?
Right.

They're dead.

Oh, that's so sad.

Well, no, I mean, they're...

They're not...
They're not both dead.

Um, my mom I-I-is fine and...
and living in, um...

Alhambra.

Alhambra?
Could we go see her?

No! No, no.
It's too far.

Alhambra's like
30 minutes away.

- It is?
- Mm-hmm.

It seems further,
like in Africa.

Mnh-mnh.
Let's go right now.

No! Uh, well...
How about this?

How about the three of us
go out to lunch

sometime in the future?

How about tomorrow?

Unless there's a reason
to put it off.

No. No.

Tomorrow's great.

My mom loves...
Wednesdays.

Hi, Eli.

I'm here to see your mom.

She's at work.

- Right.
- On the bright side,

she did get your subpoena
before she left.

Great.

Come on in.

You know, I-I wanted to
talk to her about it,

but she wouldn't return
my calls.

Yeah, I know.

I need to make it clear
to both of you

that the only way
I can prove liability

is to establish
that Zygolife let her down.

So I need to prove

that she had expectations
about you

that weren't met
because of their mistake.

Wait here.

You want to know
what she expected

when she was pregnant with me?

I found this in a drawer.

She doesn't know I've seen it.

"To my baby,
on his 17th birthday.

"I just got the news...
I'm finally gonna be a mom.

"Today,
I make a commitment to you...

"To make sure you grow up
healthy and strong.

"To provide you
with every advantage

"so you may become
whatever you want to be...

"An astronaut, an athlete,
or even president.

"To encourage you
to travel the world,

"to reach for the stars...

"To live a life
without boundaries or limits.

"I will always love you.

Mom."

But you turned 17 months ago.

Yeah.

She never gave me the letter.

I know she loves me,
Ms. Bingum.

But it doesn't change

that this isn't
what she signed up for.

Oh, no.

I don't know what you said to
Bobby Z, but he locked us out.

What? I just left him
a voicemail. He fired you?

Yeah, and he called
around to all the other clubs.

No one will hire us.
Said we were a problem.

Hey.

Hey.

What's going on?

I encouraged Sierra to bring
a grievance to her boss.

And now he's blacklisted all three
of them with the other club owners.

Well, it sounds to me
like the owners are acting

like a strip-club trust
Which is illegal.

Jane's right.
We need to get to court

by the close of business today.

I will have a paralegal
file the paperwork.

I just need to reschedule
another lunch. Be right back.

He's a great guy, isn't he?

Yeah. He's the best.

Hey, did that doctor guy
ever call you back?

No.

You deserve better.

Yeah, I do.

Hi, bill.
This is Jane.

Jane Bingum.

Bill,
I-I wanted to let you know

that I-I never sleep with a guy
on the first date.

But for some reason,
I-I thought you were different.

And maybe it's because
you were smart

and charming and cute...

And I guess it doesn't hurt
that you're a doctor.

But now... now I see

that... that I was simply
suckered by an oversized ego

and a God complex so, so big

that you couldn't even bother
to return one of my phone calls.

So congratulations,
you lost me,

just like you can lose
my number...

Though it seems
you already have.

Hey,
I heard all that.

And for what it's worth,
I'm proud of you.

Thanks.

I, uh, feel like
I'm gonna be sick.

Kim Kaswell.

Parker?

What are you doing here?
I have a job interview.

I'll be brief.

I want you back at the firm.

Not just because
you're an amazing lawyer,

but because you're
an amazing woman.

I know I screwed up,

professionally and personally.

I wasn't honest, and...

I let the best thing
in my life get away from me.

Yes, you did.

Kim...

Please come back.

- My interview's about to start.
- Parker.

We've been waiting
on your recommendation.

Thanks for giving it in person.

Ginny?

Aah! Ohh!

Never sneak up on a person
like that!

And I'm sorry.

Um, so, how is
my favorite employee?

- Temporary employee.
- Right.

Uh, between acting jobs.

Yes, that's right.
I'm an actress in real life.

Uh, "Sound of Music" at
the Buena Park Dinner Theater.

- Good stuff.
- Oh, my God!

You saw it?!
I can't believe you saw it!

- Well, I-I-I didn't.
- Oh.

But, um, I did see your flier
in the elevator. Oh, right.

Yeah, I put that out there.

I know. You...
You looked really convincing

as the...
the mother superior.

The "Buena Bugle" called me,

uh,
"stern and matronly."

- Matronly.
- Yes.

Uh,
"mother with dignity."

Ooh, aren't you
the clever little crier?

Well, it's exactly what
I was looking for.

Really?

Um, yeah, I-I-I was wondering
if I could ask you a favor,

that... that would involve
your "superior" acting skills.

Okay.

And... and a-a free lunch.

Oh! I'm listening.

Ms. Haller, when you first read
Zygolife's brochure

offering state-of-the-Art
genetic screening,

were you aware of a test
that would have caught

a mutation in the fibroblast
growth factor receptor 3?

I'm not a doctor,
Ms. Bingum.

Then it's fair to say

that you were relying
on Zygolife's expertise

to ensure the quality
of the sperm they sold you?

Yes.

No further questions.

Well...

Since this case is about product
liability, I have to ask...

Do you
want to trade in your son?

Excuse me?

If, theoretically, we could
provide you with another boy,

a different boy
but without the mutated gene,

would you agree to it?

Of course not.

I wouldn't trade Eli
for the world.

No further questions.

Uh, uh, redirect?

Proceed.

In 1993,

what were your expectations
for your unborn child?

Um, I remind you
that you are under oath.

I don't understand
the question.

Did you expect

that Eli would need
biweekly ritux injections

so that he could walk
without pain

or that he would
"grow up healthy and strong"?

Healthy and strong.

Did you expect

that your child would need
seven spinal operations

or that he might become
an astronaut or an athlete?

Did you expect

that the costs associated
with Eli's medical conditions

would require
that you work 18-hour days?

Or did you believe
that your son would live a life

without limits or boundaries?

Stop, Ms. Bingum! Stop!
This was a mistake.

- Eli, I...
- Please!

- I'm sorry.
- I know. I know.

- I'm so sorry.
- No, honey.

- No, shh. Oh, God.
- I didn't mean it.

No, it's gonna be okay.

It's okay.
Look at me. Look at me.

- I'm sorry.
- It's okay. It's okay.

I heard what happened in court.

So you turned my computer
into a shrine?

I bookmarked

your top 10 favorite
online shopping destinations

and pre-loaded
your credit-card info.

Retail therapy
always cheers you up.

Thank you.

But this goes way beyond that.

Today, I forced a mother

to admit her darkest secrets
about her son.

Is there anything relevant
in the Zygolife discovery?

Of course not.

Why would Zygolife give us
evidence that would hurt them?

Well, because it's discovery,
and there are rules.

Yes, and everyone
always plays by the rules.

No one ever
cheats on their taxes

or lies to get out of jury duty

or shoplifts a whole chicken
from costco.

And I have a hard time
believing

that Zygolife would just
hand over a smoking gun

neatly tied up in a box.

Then we should look
outside the box.

What are you talking about?

My brain is working.

My brain is working.

You're acting really weird.

Teri, we don't need
their stupid boxes.

It's just like in retail...

There are two parties
to every transaction.

You buy your groceries
at the market,

you buy your cosmetics
at the counter,

you buy your tests
for genetic mutations...

From the lab.

Exactly.

Zygolife buys their FGR3 test
from Westin Labs.

Westin Labs would have no reason
to conceal their records.

I'm on it.

Thank you.

Grayson, Bobby Z's here
with the guys who own

the biggest clubs west of
Denver's silver cabaret.

I know. I had them all served.

They're participating in the conspiracy
to restrain your employment.

Oh.

Judge Byron
hemmings presiding.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

This isn't good.

Apparently, lunch with my
daughter and future son-in-law

got canceled... again.

So, here I am, saddled with
an alleged "emergency" T.R.O.

I'm the son-in-law.

Oh.

Your honor, may I approach?

Are they the emergency?

Yes.

Fascinating.
How'd you meet them?

Is that really relevant?

Well, I am the judge.

I met Ms. Santell
at my bachelor party.

And apparently,
they're a package deal.

This is gonna be good.

But what you
need to know about my Freddy

is that he can be
overly sensitive.

Mnh, that's not entirely...

Sweetheart, please don't speak
while you're chewing.

Anyway, as Fred's mom,

I think I should ask you
a few questions.

Sure. Anything.

What was
your S.A.T. Score?

Oh.

Is that really that important?

Of course it's important.

My Freddy should be
with a smart girl.

But...
Mom!

Never you mind.

So, what about your career?

He tells me you're a model.

And, sweetie, you know
most models peak at 22.

How old are you?

Hoo. N-not 22.

Okay. So, do you have
a back-up plan?

- Ginny! Mother!
- Yes?

Oh, I'm sorry, sugarplum.

Menopause makes mommy crazy.

Um...

If you'll excuse me,
I have to tinkle.

Ooh!

It's... it's slippery.

Okay.

Look. Stacy, look,
that is not my mother.

Oh, Fred...

If that was my mom,

I would say the
exact same thing.

I promise... we never
have to do this again. Okay?

Okay.

Mr. Inverness,
the other day in chambers,

you stated that your company
had no knowledge

of Westin Lab's FGR3 test

when Ms. Haller
purchased sperm.

Now, is that true?

Yes, we only became aware
of the test in '94,

at which time it was added
to our screening process.

After Eli had been conceived.

That's right.

Why did you decide
to add the test?

To stay current.

Oh, it... it wasn't

because Westin Labs
had lowered their price?

How could we know
they'd lowered the price

when we had no prior knowledge
it existed?

Hmm.

We received this e-mail

from a vice president
of Westin Labs.

He's kept a record
of every sales meeting

he's had with a potential client
since 1989.

And in this note,
he details a meeting

he had with your company
in January of '93.

I'd like to read his summary
to the jury, if I may.

"Wednesday, January 7, 1993.

"Met with Zygolife purchasing
agent to discuss FGR3 test.

Agent refused,
citing the cost of $75 a unit."

Can you identify
the purchasing agent

who refused to purchase
this test?

1993 is a long time ago.

Oh, well,
the name's here in the e-mail.

Hmm.

Oh, you don't want to...

Hmm? Okay.

It's your name.

I would like to introduce
this e-mail as evidence.

- Objection!
- Overruled.

Your honor, bottom line...
These men are colluding

for the sole purpose of preventing
my clients from working.

But my colleagues and I

are simply sharing employee
reviews and nothing more.

These "reviews" have the clear
purpose of suppressing the ability

of the dancers to demand
better working conditions.

That's not how we see it.

All right.
I've heard enough.

There is, indeed,
evidence of collusion.

- Your honor...
- Stow it, counselor.

This court hereby
instructs Mr. Z

to re-hire all his dancers,
and they will keep their tips.

Furthermore, I want
you and all your colleagues

to submit your employee
contracts to this court

for review, post haste.

By "post haste", he means...

"Quickly." We know.

We're dancers, not dummies.

- Court is adjourned.
- Your honor...

If you'll grant leave
for an amicus motion?

Yes?

I've been waiting to do this
for a week, sir.

And now that we're
finally together,

I'd like to ask your permission

to marry
your incredible daughter.

That would be me.

So ordered.

Thanks, daddy.

Mr. Parker.

Ms. Kaswell.

My position is nonnegotiable.

I want a 10% raise, and you
and I come to an understanding.

What kind of an understanding?

I'm back with the firm.

I'm not back with you.

May I ask
why you changed your mind?

No.

No?

No, you may not ask
why I changed my mind.

We just got an offer
from Zygolife's attorney.

Uh, since you are the client...

Mom.

Now, that's
what I'm talking about.

I don't know what to say.

Well, I hope that you'll say
you'll forgive me.

I never meant to hurt you
or your family.

You were just
trying to protect my son.

It's what every mother wants.

Thank you.

It was my pleasure, Eli.
It truly was.

Come on, mom.
Let's go.

Tonight, I'm buying you dinner.

- Jane.
- Kim.

- You're back.
- I am.

And I heard about the
glowing recommendations

you wrote for me.

It was nothing.

I know. I can't wait to return
the favor some day.

Bill?

Hey, Jane.
Can I come in?

- Hi.
- Hi.

Thanks.
Sure.

I think I left my cellphone here
the other night.

Oh?

Yeah, I think it might have
fallen out of my pants

uh, when...
when you took them off.

Yeah.

And... and, uh, I-I just got off
a nonstop haul...

Tumor resection,
two aneurysm clippings...

and I realized
I never called you back.

And now I feel like a jerk.

- No. No worries at all.
- Yeah?

I was hoping to, uh, take you
out on a proper date.

If not tonight, then...

Oh. Uh, tonight works.

Well, then as soon as I get
my cellphone.

Right.

I think it might
be under the bed.

Oh. I'll go look.

Found it.

Great.

So, uh, I was thinking Italian.

Oh, I love Italian.

Hey, I want to thank you
for giving me another chance...

me and my oversized ego
and God complex.

Oh, God. I...

No, you...
I mean...

How did you hear your messages?

I just deleted them.

Jane, I am a neurosurgeon.
I have to check my messages.

Yes, you do.

But I got to say,

when you get mad,
you're pretty adorable.