Drop Dead Diva (2009–2014): Season 2, Episode 3 - The Long Road to Napa - full transcript

♪

JANE: Sea that aspiring modal there?
That was ma, Deb,

until the day I died.

I thought I'd go straight to heaven,
but there was a bit of a mix-up,

and I woke up
in someone else's body.

So now I'm Jane, a super-busy
lawyer with my very own assistant.

I got a new life, a new wardrobe.

The only people
who know what’s going on with me

are my girlfriend, Stacy,
and my guardian angel, Fred.

I used to think
everything happened for a reason.

And, well, I sure hope I was right.



Good morning.
Who wants breakfast?

"Get dry cleaning,
alphabetize receipts,

and pick up a nonfat vanilla latte."
"Nonfat" in all-caps.

Fred, I have your...
'9 a.m. deposition, file Swain motion.”

BOTH: Switch.
Coffee? French roast?

Love it, but not today,
I'm running late.

I'll get my caffeine
from the fumes of Kim's latte.

How about you, sweetie?

Antioxidant
tomato blueberry smoothie?

Dr. Oz says it'll age you backwards.
JANE: Sorry, no time.

I wanna be hungry.
It makes me cranky and aggressive.

Oh. I'll stick it in the fridge for later.

Anybody seen my left shoe?
Under the table.

My keys?
STACY: In the Cosmo magazine.



You bookmarked the triumphant
return of the empire waistline.

Thanks, Since.
You're the best.

♪

Bye.

[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS]

Dry cleaning in closet,
receipts are alphabetized.

And your latte is on your desk.

Don't ask how I kept it warm.
You want me to take that?

Messages?
On your computer.

Red for business,
blue for personal.

Caitlin Tanner called.
She's a college friend.

She's in blue.
I understand your system.

She needs to meet with you,
I squeezed her in at noon.

Which means she's in red.

I went to the drugstore twice this week.
What did I forget?

I do some of my own errands.

maybe a divorce is premature.

Yes, he's been distant,
married to his job, unavailable.

But that doesn't necessarily
add up to...

Do you think I'm acting rashly?

That's not for me to decide.

But we do need to talk
about your husband's assets.

Is he hiding something from me?
Yes.

And not just assets.

In the course of our due diligence,
we found...

Maria, we think your husband
has a girlfriend.

I'm so sorry.

You know,

a part of me suspected, but...

Are you sure?

Uh... Property records.

As you know,
he travels back and forth

between his L.A.
and San Francisco offices.

In San Francisco, he bought
a townhouse last March.

And the mortgage is in the name
of Charles Ellis and Emily Parcelles.

Okay,

the divorce is on.

Okay.

We need to talk.

I'm with a client.
We still need to talk.

I am in the middle of giving
bad news to a client.

You're messing with my mojo.
Your mojo's needed in reception.

There's a walk-in acting
like a grenade

with its pin pulled.
Why me?

She asked for you. By name.

♪

I have to do a flyby in Judge Malloy's
court. File this.

It's an updated motion
for the McDonald case.

[SINGS "OLD MACDONALD
HAD A FARM"]

It never gets old.

Yes, it does.

♪

I need to talk to her now. I can't wait.
JANE: Hello.

I'm Jane Bingum.
How may I help you?

Start by telling me
why you're invading my privacy.

I'm not sure what you're referring to.

You requested a copy of the deed
to my townhouse.

Don't deny it.
The county assessors called me.

The San Francisco county assessor?
Mm-hm.

You're Emily Parcelles.

Yes. Why are you investigating me?

I represent Charles Ellis' wife.

That's not possible.
It's a fact.

You do know that Charles
is married, right?

Of course I do.

He's married to me.

♪

Maria Ellis, married
on August 18, 2002 to Charles Ellis.

And Emily Parcelles,

married on March 13, 2005
to Charles Ellis.

You don't know me, but if I'd had
any idea that he was married to you,

I never would've married him.
Technically, you didn't.

Isn't that right?

Because Charles was already married,
legally, your marriage is void.

To be fair, if I had known
that Charles was cheating,

I would've left him
before you two ever got hitched.

What happens now?
I'm going after my share

of our community property.
That includes your little love nest.

What about me?
You were never married to Charlie.

I have rights. I lived with that man
for five years as his wife.

That townhouse
is in both our names.

You kidding?
That's my home.

You think you're entitled to my...
That was my life!

[WHISTLES]

Maria, you are right,
we can make Charles pay.

What?
But you're right too

because you have a claim
to palimony.

What are you saying?
Do you wanna go after each other,

or do you want to go after Charles?

♪

Caitlin.
Kim.

Hi.

I really appreciate
you taking the time.

I know I owe you a call.
After the adoption, I meant to come by.

The baby must be three weeks old
by now?

Kim, he's gone.

What?
You remember Lana?

Yeah, the birth mother?

It was an open adoption.

By the time she had the baby,
we became friends.

We were both single, we bonded.

This morning she asked
if she could come visit.

Oh, God.

I went to the bathroom.

I left her alone with Ben
for five minutes.

I came back and she left a note
saying she changed her mind.

Caitlin, she can't do that.
Not legally.

Please, I need to get my son back.

♪

Hello?

Stacy. I picked up sushi.

How was your day?

Oh.
No, wait, me first.

I got a job.

Did Sports Illustrated call you
for the swim suit edition?

I'm so jealous.
No. Even better.

I started my own business.
Close your eyes.

Okay.
Jane,

I decided to follow
my true passion.

Skin care?
Exactly.

The avocado moisturizer that doubles
as a dip is a terrible idea.

Derma-guac could be huge.

But I have something better.
Close your eyes.

Okay.

I'm ready.
Ooh.

It's called the Armvelope.

Is that the left leg of
the Victoria's Secret leggings I wore

for Miss Kahlua in 2007?

It used to be.

The Armvelope protects your skin
while driving,

keeping off
all those nasty UV rays.

Every left-arm-out-the-window driver
in America will need one.

At least one. Stacy, this is brilliant.

Mm-hm. Thanks.

♪

I'll let her know.

KIM:
What?

Ahem.

Caitin's in the lobby. Lana
and her attorney are on their way.

Give me five minutes,
then bring them in.

♪

Tony?
Jane.

What, they cut the soda budget
at Bogart & Markoff?

They ran out of ginger ale,
so I drove across town. I was thirsty.

May I have a soda, Jane?

Of course.

But why are you here?

I have a vague recollection of you
telling me we're through.

That means you don't
pop over for pop.

I'm not here to see you.

I didn't think you were.
We'll be seeing each other.

Are you talking code?
You're opposing counsel.

I'm representing Charles Ellis.
What? No.

Attorney of record is Harold Folley.
Out with the flu. I'm filling in.

Should be straightforward,
settled by the end of the day.

That is if you and Maria Ellis
are reasonable.

I'm sure Maria won't be the problem.

Thirty days.

State law says a birth mother
has 30 days

to change her mind
and take her baby.

Unless the birth mother signs a waiver
giving up all rights to the baby.

The waiver is void. Lana signed while
in a state of diminished capacity.

What?
Suffering postpartum depression.

No.

No. Lana,
I was at the hospital with you.

You handed me Ben,
said it was the right thing to do.

I'm sorry.

Ben is my baby Lana may have given
birth to him, but she gave him to me.

I love him, and I will fight for him.

I'm filing for TRO barring Lana
from leaving the city

and seeking an order to have Ben
returned immediately.

Let me be clear.
My client doesn't want this divorce.

If Mrs. Ellis insists, we're prepared
to offer a fair settlement.

We're not ready
to discuss settlement.

What are you talking about?

♪

Hello, Maria.

Hello, Emily.
Oh, my God.

What's going on here? Who is...?

Oh, this would be your client's
second wife.

Emily Parcelles, Tony Nicastro.

Charles, what is this?

Talk to me.
This wasn't supposed to happen.

Actually, stop talking.

Let me explain.

This ought to be good.
I'm all ears.

I'm so, so sorry.
Charles.

What're we doing?
You can't represent two wives

in a divorce proceeding.
Right.

The divorce and the palimony
are on hold.

Maria and Emily are jointly suing
your client for fraud.

Could we please step outside?
Yep.

♪

Don't even.
Not a word.

I don't believe this.

I know. Bigamy.
Who knew people still did that?

Unless they're from that cult in Texas.
Is Charles a Texan?

You blind-sided me.
You're kidding, right?

You represent a guy
who lied to two wives.

You're upset I didn't give you
a heads-up?

You changed the cause of action
and didn't tell me.

A good lawyer doesn't share
her strategy.

Please. You wanted
your big dramatic moment.

What?
You're still mad at me

because I broke up with you.

You didn't need to turn this
into a circus.

This isn't personal, Tony.

If it were, I'd tell you
no one in their right minds

would ever wear that belt
with those shoes.

What's wrong with my shoes?
I'll see you in court.

♪

Two wives. That's a lot to handle.
By uniting these two women

into a single cause of action,
it's a win-win.

Classic conflict resolution.
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.

Ah. Sun Tzu, The Art of War.

Brandon and Dylan,
90210, the original.

They were archrivals,
because they both fell for Kelly.

But when Kelly was brainwashed...

They worked together to rescue
Kelly from the evil cult leader.

I had an ex that made me watch.

♪

Okay.

Postpartum depression occurs
within the first weeks of giving birth.

Dr. Kemper, does a woman's age
make her more susceptible to PPD?

Research has shown women under
20 are particularly at risk.

NEALON:
And Lana is how old?

Eighteen.
In your expert opinion,

is it possible that Lana's depression
was so severe she didn't understand

the full implications of the waiver?
Absolutely.

Thank you, doctor.

When was the time you met Lana?
A week ago.

You didn't examine her at the time
she was supposedly mentally unfit

to sign the waiver, did you?

I stand by my diagnosis.

That's not really an answer, is it?

♪

Ladies and gentlemen,

what we have here
is a clear case of fraud.

First, I will prove
that Charles Ellis knowingly entered

into two separate,
competing marriage contracts,

and, in so doing,
willfully deceived these two women.

Next, I will illustrate

how these women were emotionally
and financially harmed by that man

who turned their lives into lies.

♪

This is not a criminal trial.
You're not being asked to decide

whether or not
my client committed bigamy.

No. Mr. Ellis
is being accused of fraud.

Were these women lied to?

Yes. But in order to prove fraud,

the plaintiff has to prove
actual damages.

Our legal system doesn't recognize
hurt feelings or bruised egos.

This case is nothing more
than a desperate attempt

to apply a legal remedy
to a matter of the heart.

Do you remember signing the waiver
giving up your child?

Of course.

Tell the court
about your thoughts and feelings.

It felt like it was out of my control.

Like that moment when you jump
into the pool but before you get wet.

I knew what was gonna happen,
but it didn't feel right.

Thank you.

When you decided
to give your baby up for adoption,

you interviewed
prospective parents

and chose Caitlin. Right?
Yes.

Do you remember
why you chose her?

She could give my baby the life
that I couldn't.

Lana, has anything changed for you
since you made that decision?

Everything has changed.
Ben's father is here.

He came back to me and the baby.

Excuse me? Ben's father?
He's right there.

Ben's father waived his rights
as soon as he found out

you were pregnant.
He said it was a mistake.

We're gonna raise Ben together.

A family.
As soon as the father came back,

you decided you had depression?
Objection.

Miss Kaswell, you're not a mother,
are you?

Ha, ha. That's irrelevant.
It's why you can't understand

what it's like to have a baby
and then lose him.

♪

She's lying about postpartum
depression so she can keep Ben.

They put up a doctor
who gave the judge a reason

to void the waiver.

Caitlin, you didn't give Lana
any money, did you?

She hasn't had a job in two years.
How do they afford a new truck?

[SIGHS]

She said she needed 20,000
for medical expenses.

Any receipts? Paperwork to prove
how the money was spent?

I didn't wanna know.

And that's a bribe. It's illegal.

I just did what she asked.
I didn't wanna lose Ben.

I can't do this.
I can't handle your case.

Kim... What?
I'll End you a new lawyer.

I don't want another lawyer.
I'm sorry.

♪

[SIGHS]

Notice anything different?

N-no.
Ah! Exactly.

I have been driving up and down
Sunset Boulevard all day long,

dangling my arm out the window.
And look.

Creamy and white.

How do you keep it so creamy?

Ah! I thought you'd never ask.
Savvy drivers say:

"The Armvelope please." Ta-da.

I was hoping Jane could help me
with manufacturing, website design,

and fulfillment.

That's fancy talk for sales.

Um...

Jane is in court.

But I happen to be an expert
in all of those fields.

Some people around here call me
a renaissance man.

I'd be happy to help.
Really? Yay.

My first employee.

With benefits?
No.

Hmm.

How did you feel when you learned
your husband had another wife?

Deceived,

betrayed, scammed,
cheated, robbed.

I can go on.

We get the point.

Okay, maybe go on a little.

He was scum.

It's one thing to be lied to,
it's something else to discover

that six years of your life
were complete fiction.

♪

[SIGHS]

Miss Parcelles,

isn't it true that before Miss Bingum
investigated your finances

and then introduced you to Maria,
you had a happy marriage?

Objection.
The witness's prior state of mind

is not relevant.
It was relevant

when she asked her clients
how they reacted to the infidelity.

He's right. Overruled.

Before I knew about Maria?

Yes, I was happy.

Mrs. Ellis,
who told you about Emily,

and then convinced you
to sue for fraud?

My lawyer.
Prior to meeting with your attorney,

did you feel "deceived, betrayed,
scammed, cheated or robbed"?

No, but...
No further questions.

Jane, I need to talk to you.
Can we talk at home? I'm busy.

Let's go in your office.
Okay.

Hold her calls.

Um... As your guardian angel,

I feel it's my duty
to give you some bad news.

As my guardian angel,
all you've ever given me is bad news.

Starting with "you're dead."

Don't underestimate consistency.

You better sit down.

Okay.

Well, it seems, um...

Kim is pregnant.

What?

Oh.

♪

Well, you know, that's not so bad...

I keep her calendar. I know who,
what, when, where, and why.

And I just did the math.

It's Grayson's.

♪

What?

♪

Jane.

Fred created a website,
and we got our first 20 orders.

All from Australia.

Yay. Disappearing ozone layer.

[Hums]

That's great.

What's wrong?

Kim is pregnant.

No way.

With Grayson's baby.

That was my reaction.

Where are you going?

Oh, no.

Not the break-open-only-
in-case-of-emergency tartufo?

And I'm adding sprinkles.

Whew.

You know, it was hard enough
when they were dating.

But now a baby?

Mm-hm.

My baby.

Your baby?

I should be married to Grayson.
We should be having babies.

But, sweetie...
I know.

I'm not the same person.

But down deep, I always thought one
day, he would see that I was Deb.

And fall back in love with you?

It's not that crazy.

We have a connection.

But this changes everything.

♪

Kim.
My father taught me

to apologize in person.

Can I come in?

I shouldn't have walked out.
It was unprofessional.

No. I should've been
completely honest.

We're friends.

You were scared.

Winnie the Pooh.

Until I was 5,
my best friend was Tigger.

Oh... I had Piglet.

My mom bought me a matching pink
striped shirt so we could be twins.

[BOTH GROAN]

[LAUGHS]

Hey, Caitlin,

how did you know
that you wanted a child?

That the time was right?

I've wanted to be a mom
as long as I can remember.

Now that I'm single
and getting older...

Come on, you're not that old.
I'm still young, we're the same age.

We're not talking about you.

Wait. Are we?

♪

[SIGHS]

Maybe.

I don't know.

Look, Caitlin,
this isn't why I came by,

but there is a good chance
I'm pregnant.

Have you taken a test?

I bought one.

But I'm not ready.

I don't have that maternal urge.
At least, not right now.

And I really didn't wanna talk to you
about this given your situation.

I'm glad you did.

Ahh. Ha-ha.

Anyway, I just came by to say

that I'm sorry

I let my personal nonsense
get in the way of my job.

And I'm back on your case.

If you want me.
Yes.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Good morning.

I heard about your case.
Applying fraud to bigamy.

Kind of brilliant.

Thanks.

So I guess,

congratulations are really in order.

I know. it's embarrassing,
but people like to send baskets.

Any occasion, right?

Yeah, I don't know
if it's just any occasion.

Are you okay?

Yeah. I'm sorry.

Babies make me emotional.

I gotta go.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Come back.

What did you just say?

Congratulations.

To you and Kim.

Why are you looking at me like that?
The basket, it's obviously not a secret.

The basket is from my client,
the Brown Pelican Foundation.

For the injunction I got against
wetlands development.

Jane, what did you hear?

I shouldn't have said anything.
I'm sor... I'm gonna go.

One high-end Cartier watch.
Receipt and paperwork.

A birthday gift.

One identical Cartier watch.
Receipt and paperwork.

A gift for my anniversary.

How is it going?
By the time we're done,

won't be a single
undocumented asset.

We've cataloged things with motors,

all things with roofs,
all bank and stock accounts.

MARIA: Well, Charles may not
have been terribly creative,

but he was generous.

Cost of a guilty conscience.
Nice work, ladies.

Let's take a break.

We're due in court.
Okay.

Mr. Ellis, did Emily or Maria
suffer financially

from your unusual
marital arrangement?

Really? That's what we're calling it?

Miss Bingum.

Not at all. In fact, financially
they're each better off now

than before we met.
Did you profit at all?

Just the opposite. it's expensive
to maintain two separate households.

Charles, we all wanna know.

Why marry two women?

Why else? Love.

Oh, come on.
JUDGE: This is not a comedy club.

There will be no heckling.

You were saying.

People go through life
never meeting their soul mate.

I met two.
Two phenomenal women

that I cannot imagine
spending my life without.

Believe me, I did not set out
to cheat on Maria.

But when I met Emily,
for the second time in my life,

the world stood still.

Would you say your Los Angeles
office is nicely appointed?

Yes.
Objection.

That's not even close to relevant.

It is if counsel pays attention to what
I say, not what he thinks he hears.

Over here, Miss Bingum.

And I'd love to know why
we should care about Mr. Ellis' office.

Isn't it true that your wife Maria,
a licensed interior designer,

decorated that office?

Yes.
isn't it true your other wife, Emily,

a freelance magazine writer,
edited and compiled

the promotional materials
for your firm?

Yes.
According to my calculations,

the value of those services
is $72,000.

Did you pay them?

No, but...
No buts.

My clients should be paid
for services rendered.

Sounds like damages to me.

Why do you suppose Emily or Maria
never asked to be paid?

They loved me
and they wanted to help out.

That's what happens
in a good marriage.

[EXHALES]

Hey.
This a bad time?

Yeah, actually. I'm under the gun,
and I can't find what I'm looking for.

Something you wanna tell me.
What?

How did you hear?

I was gonna tell you, but it's...
Not until I...

♪

I'm not even sure yet.

I want you to know,
I plan on doing the right thing.

Well, thank you, Dudley Do-Right.
Kim.

Really? Does anybody say they plan
on not doing the right thing?

I'm serious.

I'm sure you think so.

The right thing?
What does that even mean?

The right thing for me?
The right thing for the baby?

The right thing for us.

And what is that?

Love and obey?

Sickness and health?

A little house in the Valley?

Is that what you mean?

It means

whatever you need.

Grayson, you look terrified.

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

This is so not a good day.
I didn't ask.

Tony is selling bigamy to the jury
like it's the most romantic thing

since Michael Buble.
I love Michael Buble.

This might cheer you up.

I was following up
on a list of Charles Ellis' assets.

Look at this.

♪

Teri, this is great.
Beaming about bigamy, Bingum?

Perfectly put, Parker.

Kim's case is tanking.
She wants help.

Kim never wants help.

You caught me. I want you to help her.
Family law, you're the expert.

Since when?
Law school, your law review article.

Legal Ramifications
of Nontraditional Conception. I read.

Jane offered to help with your case.
Really?

Of course not.
Now, go get in a room,

and don't come out
until you figure out how to win this.

Can we focus here?

That is one cute baby.

They all look alike.
What's throwing me is the waiver.

If this was a scam to get $20,000,
why would Lana sign it?

Caitlin wouldn't pay her
unless she signed.

Caitlin paid her in advance,
before the baby was born.

Sounds like the birth mother
didn't wanna keep this baby.

Until the boyfriend returned
and changed her mind.

Maybe the $20,000
changed his mind.

The boyfriend is 19.

How often does a teenage boy
come back

after the baby is born to say
he wants to do the right thing?

♪

Kim. Kim, I'm saying...
I heard you.

So either the boyfriend
is a genuinely good guy...

Or the two of them saw this baby
as an ATM machine.

Counsel has rested her case.
There are no do-overs.

I'm not asking for a do-over.

I'm re-calling Mr.
Ellis to authenticate new rebuttal evidence.

Short leash, Miss Bingum.
Like for a Pomeranian?

Wouldn't that be a long leash?
You know, small dog, long leash.

Big dog...

Proceed.

Mr. Ellis, would you be so kind
as to identify a gift you gave

to your beloved. A Cartier watch?

Not a problem.
Perfect.

Would Mr. Ellis' wife please stand
and show us her watch?

♪

Oh, I'm sorry,
I meant Mr. Ellis' other wife.

Oh, I did it again.

I meant Mr. Ellis' future wife.

Excuse me?
Teri?

Hello, Charles.

JANE: Mr. Ellis, can you identify
this lovely woman's watch?

You gave it to her at Christmas,
right?

It's a Cartier.

Could you tell the court
your relationship to this woman?

CHARLES:
Ahem. Um...

She's my fiancée.

Small correction.
She was your fiancée.

As a general rule,

no one likes to come in third.

I haven't had this much fun
since I had my gums scraped.

All good things come to an end.

We still have our closings.
We do.

If you wanna take a chance
on that jury, be my guest.

You had a shot
when there were only two wives.

But soul mate number three shows up
and your guy is like Tiger Woods.

Without golfing skills.

Am I right?
It's not for me to say.

But..?

They hate your client.

I want you to find an empty
courtroom and settle this.

You don't pull her hair
and you don't steal his milk money.

♪

My client is prepared to testify
she paid your client $20,000

prior to the birth of the baby.
For medical expenses.

Figured you'd say that,
so I subpoenaed bank records.

I'm sorry. I'll pay it back.

Shouldn't be difficult.
Joey has a hundred thousand dollars in his bank.

What?
We don't have that kind of money.

Joey does.

♪

Joey, what is she talking about?

Joey e-mailed Ben's photo

to Neil and Sue Applegate
of Henderson, Nevada.

What is this about?

The Applegates have wanted
a baby boy for the longest time.

It cost them
a hundred thousand dollars.

Are you accusing my client
of selling her baby?

You sold Ben?

Come on, Lana, we're not parents.

I did it for us, babe.

Get out of here.

Go!

Joey,

when you see the FBI agents
in the lobby, my advice, don't run.

He said that he came back to me
and the baby.

We were gonna be a family.

I'm sorry, Lana.

I know that might sound weird
coming from me, but I really am.

You must be really happy
with yourself right now.

I am satisfied with a job well done.

[SCOFFS]

Tony, you're representing a bigamist
and making him sound like a saint.

I am doing my job.
Yeah. Well, you're doing it too well!

If I hadn't found the fiancee,
the jury could've believed

that twice-a-lifetime B.S.
You don't believe

someone could have
two soul mates?

I thought it would hurt you more
if I told you the truth.

[LAUGHS]

Why are you laughing?
Strikes me as funny.

You were married
when you kissed me.

You let someone fall for you,
though married.

You know what?
I explained my situation,

and you said you understood.

Well, maybe I tried
and maybe I don't.

Fine, you're confused.

Ask me whatever you wanna know.

♪

Go ahead.

The witness is all yours.

What?
Come on, cross-examine me.

Isn't it true that you were married
when you dated me?

Yes, to Ethan.

A man I hadn't seen in seven years,
a man I never loved.

You didn't introduce him as husband.
That's correct.

You knew keeping a secret
would be hurtful to our relationship?

I thought it would hurt you more
if I told you the truth.

You're concerned about my feelings?
Of course. I like you.

[LAUGHS]

That didn't sound like past tense.

Well, maybe it's not past tense.

Are you admitting you continue to
harbor feelings for opposing counsel?

Objection.
On what grounds?

Flirting with the witness.
One last question.

Is it not a fact that you wore
that perfume just to distract me?

Do I distract you?

You have no idea.

♪

I don't know how to thank you.

He belongs here.

You wanna hold him?
Oh, I don't know.

He looks really comfortable.
I don't wanna break him or anything.

Come here.

Okay.

For what its worth,
whether it's sooner or later,

I think you're gonna be a great...

Don't say it.

[LAUGHS]

Hey, I got you something in my bag.

Oh.

Piglet.

[laughing]

Just don't put him
in a matching shirt, okay?

Okay.

Oh, hi.

Kim is out of the office
another 20 minutes, talk quickly.

What's the emergency?

This came by special delivery
an hour ago.

It's a cease-and-desist letter

from the Japanese maker
of the Sun Sleeve?

At first, I was really angry
and I wanted to fight it.

But then I remembered something.

I'm listening.
A few weeks ago,

I was home with the flu
and left the Japanese station on.

I was too weak to get the remote.
There was an infomercial

for the Sun Sleeve.

It looked a lot like this.

I thought it was a dream,
but now I realize I stole their idea.

Fred.
Yes, Stacy?

Armvelope Enterprises regrets to
inform you that you've been laid off.

For what its worth,
you were a great boss.

♪

You're off the hook.

You mean...?
I just took the test. It's negative.

So you can stand down.

Are you all right?

Yeah, yeah. I'm relieved.
Why wouldn't I be?

I didn't mean...
I know.

Have a good night.

♪

[SIGHS]

As your guardian angel, it's my duty
to inform you that I made a mistake.

Another mistake. Like that time
you let me push the return button.

It's Kim.

The test was negative.

Huh.

'Huh.'

As Deb, I'm really glad
that she's not pregnant.

But as Jane..?

It feels like it's none of my business.

When I thought
Kim was carrying Grayson's baby,

it was like
I had to get rid of this picture

I was carrying around in my head.

That would be Deb.

But maybe that picture's
already started to change.

Jane.

Yeah.

No, Jane, that's me
trying to get your attention.

As in your phone is buzzing.

Oh.

[CHUCKLES]

What?

Apparently Jane has to get home.

Well, I hope she has a good night.

I most definitely will.

[ELEANOR DUNLOP'S
"SQUANDER" PLAYING]

PARKER:
Mind if I join you?

You want company?

Sure, that would be nice.

You haven't been yourself lately.
Yeah, I've been under the weather.

I'm okay.

You meeting a client?
No.

Hot date?

[LAUGHS]

What are we drinking?

[CHUCKLES]

So I don't usually compliment
opposing counsel

before a case is officially settled.

That's a good policy.
But you were pretty spectacular.

I was, wasn't I?

In your cross, you did this thing,
you had your back to my client.

You swung around,
you were right in his face.

Totally threw him off balance.
My signature move.

It's the pivot, point and pounce.

[LAUGHS]

Well,
I couldn't hike my eyes off of you.

Then it worked.
Mm-hm.

You were pretty impressive yourself.

Ah. I'm an okay lawyer.
But I'm a phenomenal bartender.

What is this?
I found a pitcher of smoothies

in the fridge, and I added vodka.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Heh.
Mm.

This is turning out to be one of
my favorite settlement conferences.

Just one of them?
Definitely top three.

Oh, Jane,
nobody likes to come in third.

I couldn't agree more.