Drawn Together (2004–2007): Season 2, Episode 1 - The One Wherein There Is a Big Twist: Part 2 - full transcript
After surviving the helicopter crash at the end of the previous episode and landing on a tropical island, the house-mates are informed that the show is over and they're now celebrities. When they try to cash in on their new fame, however, they find that nobody is interested. Disappointed, they return to the house, the one place they belong. Wooldoor, however, is overcome by depression and kills himself, so the other house-mates hold interviews to replace him, finally selecting Strawberry Sweetcake. Wooldoor then proceeds to come back from the dead and reveal that the Sweetcake people have being carrying out a program of genocide against the Sockbats. Strawberry promises that that's all in the past, but Foxxy is not quite convinced and decides to do some snooping.
Previously, on Drawn Together...
You best stay out
of my way, bitch,
or you gonna be dead.
I want Foxxy love gone!
Would you just put
it in me already?
Clara, your mother's dead!
Did I tell you to stop lickin'?
Nobody likes fat chicks.
You'll feel better
after you kill yourself.
Aah! [SOBS]
I wish I were dead.
Drop your weapon!
No, you drop it!
I'm not afraid to die!
Kill them!
It all... Ends...
Now!
Hold on, everyone!
We're hit! We're hit!
[SCREAMING]
CAPTAIN HERO: With
my superpowers,
I could easily have
saved my house mates.
But I couldn't react. Why?
Because I smoke marijuana.
Still think drugs are cool?
[SCREAMING]
[ALARM BEEPS]
Aah!
So here we was,
plummetin' to our death
when... aah!
Toot! No!!
I-it's not worth it!
I have to try!
Aah! Goddamn it!
Well, this,
like Xandir in a
roomful of fat Chinamen,
blows chunks!
Nice! Nice!
Oh, Ling-Ling, there you at.
You Asians sho' do
love the brown sauce.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Whee! That was fun!
Did everybody make it?
Let's see... Little
retard, swine,
rat, big retard,
Xandir, blackiboo...
Hey, where's
fatty-fatty two-by-four,
can't-fit-through
the-kitchen-door?
Help! Help!
Anyone!
[WHIMPERS]
Oh!
Aah!
[JAWS TYPE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SWALLOWS]
Look, everyone. It's
that ass hole Jeff Probst!
Survivors, immunity
is up for grabs.
Sweet! I know how to play this!
I lost my immunity
in a bathhouse.
This island is home
to the Wanatuba tribe.
These indigenous people have
survived here for centuries.
So your next challenge is...
[UNZIPS] My cock.
[CHANTING]
Hold up!
We don't need to be humiliated
and exploited like this anymo'.
But...
But nothin'!
We have done an entire season
of this reality TV crap.
We big stars now.
Fame and fortune
awaits us, y'all!
- I wanna be famous!
- I wanna be a big star!
I wanna be even bigger than
that douche bag Jeff Probst.
And I have just the plan
to get us off of this
deserted reality TV island.
Follow me!
JEFF: Wait!
Where are you going?
You'll be back.
They all come back!
FOXXY: Later, reality TV!
Wait... guys!
Guys!
Send fudge!
XANDIR: After we left the show,
we all went straight
to Hollywood
to cash in on our
much-deserved reality TV fame.
But what we got was a
different dose of reality.
Hi! I'm Xan...
We learned the sad truth.
There was nothing waiting
for us reality TV stars.
[WHISPERS] Nothing.
So we all just went home as if
we knew where that was anymore.
♪ You dreamed of
a-list parties ♪
♪ A talk show on late night ♪
♪ But those dreams burnt up ♪
♪ Like a concert
with great white ♪
[ SINGING IN JAPANESE ]
♪ It's a huge shit sangwich ♪
♪ And you have to take a bite ♪
♪ It's a huge ♪
♪ Shit ♪
♪ Sandwich ♪
♪ And you have to take a...
♪ Big ol' steamin' bite ♪
♪ Of the shit sandwich ♪
We should have never left
the Drawn Together house.
I realised I would never
survive on the outside.
Hey! Writing a suicide note?
I can help!
Please go away.
HERE'S A TIP: Avoid clichés
like "good-bye, cruel world,"
and remember to
blame your parents.
[CREAK, CREAK]
[GAGS]
Hey... oh!
You don't look so good.
Uh... oh.
Y-you... eh...
Oh, Wooldoor, dude...
[SOBBING]
FOXXY: Wooldoor's death
brought us all together.
This was the first funeral
I had been to in a long time
that did not take
place in my womb.
You know, I... Just don't
feel so bad for him.
He's the lucky one.
Wooldoor's death was
a real wakeup call.
Life without the cameras
wasn't worth livin'.
We all agreed there was only
one place we belong anymo'.
Well, well, well.
Look who came crawling back.
Do you know what
it's gonna take to
rebuild this house
you destroyed?
Where are the others?
Wooldoor is dead!
Pity. And what about that
disgusting black-and-white whale?
The disgusting black-and-white
whale has beached itself.
It need our help.
Ah, goddamn it! I'm
not a fucking whale!
I'm only slightly overweight,
for Christ's sakes!
You want several buckets of fish,
my sweet, fat, beached whale?
Ahh...
Ahh...
Whoa! I have not seen
that much fish eating
since lilith fair
come to island!
[RIMSHOT]
We want back in the house,
Mr. Jew producer!
Hmm. I'll tell you what.
I'll let you back into the house
if you play a little
game of simon says.
[ALL GASP]
[MANLY VOICE] Let's do it.
Simon says touch your nose.
OK. Simon says...
[ZIPPER]
He's got a nice, thick
cock, doesn't he?
Foxy, you said we didn't have
to be humiliated anymore.
Do we really have to do this?
We wants to be back
on TV, don't we?
Well then, I'm afraid we does.
I'm afraid we does.
Oh yea. Simon is a
filthy dirty bitch.
A filthy bitch with
a beautiful cock.
Simon says stare
directly at his cock.
I kid you not.
He degraded us for 3 1/2 hours.
And he went on about its size...
Simon says it's
biblical in scale!
It's beauty...
Simon says it's like a swan,
covered in sweat and veins.
Its musical ability...
[PLAYING CHOPSTICKS]
Until finally...
Ah... ah... ah...
[BULLET RICOCHET SOUND]
[MEOW]
[ZIPS] Now that
simon is finished,
you can move back
into the house.
Whoo! Yay!
But you need to find
one new room-mate.
[ALL GASP]
XANDIR: We soon realised that
it wouldn't be easy replacing
our dear, close friends...
Dead guy and Missing girl.
I was hoping to
find a new room-mate
who shared my deep
Christian faith.
Or a beaner.
So after you left mex...
I like to keep moving, keep it real.
What's up?
I am the most powerful
mouse in the world!
Hey, did I ever tell
you my movie idea?
You ain't gonna
steal it, are you?
I'll cut you! Why are
you all looking at me?
Ooh, I like the black one.
I can do anyth...
Oh, my!
Can I use your bathroom again?
Wilma, tell us about you, girl.
I'm the kind of person who
uses an armadillo for an iron,
a pterodactyl for
a record player,
and a prehistoric
worm for a tampon.
It's a living.
Oh, my god!
You're from mortal kombat?
I'm from a video game, too!
Tell me, what's
your special move?
Get over here!
[FRENZIED ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
Impressive.
My special move is
the reach-around.
Oy vey.
So after we interviewed
these two claymated guys
and this finger puppet and this
Monty python cut-out thing,
we were down to our last...
[PFFFT]
Hee hee hee.
I brought you all cake and candy
from the land of the
peppermint wainbow.
I love new fwiends.
She's so sweet!
Oh, can we keep her?
You're kidding me, right?
How old are you,
strawberry sweetcake? 8?
More like 18, silly willy.
I just taste 8.
She's so legal.
Can we keep her?
Well... OK.
Whoo! Whoo hoo!
PRODUCER: Mazel tov house mates!
Welcome to season 2.
Guys, can we, like, talk about
how great our new room-mate is?
She's, like, so great!
To sweetcake... For
making us realise
that we're all replaceable.
And to the teeniest
ass you can tap
without setting
off an amber alert.
Salute!
Hey, everybody.
What'd I Miss?
Ohh! Ohh! [GASP]
Oh, my god!
Wooldoor? We thought
you were dead!
So did the people who buried me.
But nothing could be
further from the truth.
I was just taking my
afternoon noose nap
when I woke up
buried 6 feet deep
in a pine box.
Luckily, I remembered my martial arts
training from kill bill volume 2.
I punched my way
through the casket...
And I began to dig...
And dug...
And dig and dug and dig and dug!
[GAME ELECTRONIC BEEPS]
Oh, I can see that.
That doesn't need any
further explanation.
Oh, Wooldoor, I'm
so glad you're back!
Oh, you wanna meet
your new room-mate?
I love new room-mates.
It's sugariffic to meet...
No fucking way!
She's the devil!
She massacred my family!
Yaaahh!
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[CONTINUES SHOUTING]
[SOBBING]
Get a hold of yourself, Wooldoor.
Ow!
Don't you hit him! Ow!
Oh, yeah! Punchy party!
Oh!
Of course Wooldoor's
a little freaked out!
Ain't you heard? Them
sweetcakes was responsible
for the genocide
of the Sockbats.
Puh-lease. The Sockbat genocide
is nothing but a terrible lie
perpetrated by the evil
Sockbat banking conspiracy.
Ow!
It all began
many moons ago.
The Sockbats lived peacefully
with the sweetcakes.
But the great strawberry famine
brought a depression
that swept the land.
Lookin' for somebody to blame,
the sweetcakes turned on the
innocent, treat-lovin' Sockbats.
Soon, they was tagged
so they could keep
a watchful eye on
them little bastards.
The evil strawberry
sweetcake regime
schemed to rid themselves
of them wacky whatchamacallits
forever, chil'.
And soon, the
Sockbats was fooled
into manual Labor at the
sweetcake candy factories.
In the cruellest
of ironic twists,
the Sockbats became
the secret ingredient
in the one thing
they loved most.
Over 8 cramazijillion Sockbats
was made into sugary,
sweet, tasty treats.
In Sockbat Sunday school,
we're taught to never forget.
Never... Forget.
STRAWBERRY SWEETCAKE: My bad.
[GIGGLES]
Aww... She's so cute!
I can't stay mad at sweetcake.
Never forget!
[MOANING]
What should we do?
The ocean is bare!
I don't want my new friends
to think I'm ungrateful,
but when people promise
to keep Toot well fed,
they god damn better
keep Toot well fed!
Hey, what part of [MOANING]
Do you not understand?!
The annoying whale
is still hungry!
We must appease it
with a sacrifice...
A virgin sacrifice.
Go on, Seth.
Dude! I told you about that
girl from the teen tour.
Take me... Fir am virgin.
Hula-kamea!
Lai-lee, no!
You mustn't!
Aah!
Oh, my god!
It is unstoppable!
I want sweetcake out
of the house... Now!
Wahh, wahh, wahh!
"She slaughtered my family!"
The real crime here is that
nobody's banged her yet.
Am I right?
I'm not gay.
Wooldoor...
I may have massacred
your people,
but, gosh, golly gee,
that's in the past.
Now's the time to move
on and live together
in the land of honey
drops, laughter, and love.
I mean, after all,
you can't spell "slaughter"
without "laughter"!
So true. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Wooldoor, I don't expect
you to ever forgive us
for what we've done,
but I do think you can forget.
Can't you?
Foxxy, you're the
only one in the house
who isn't completely retarded.
What do you think?
Forgettin' the
lessons of history
insures that these atrocities
will happen again.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to put on this negligee
and bring papa his whiskey.
But forgetting will earn you
a deewicious nougat candy bar.
Nougat!
Yippee!
Now we can all be
one big happy family.
[LAUGHTER AND
INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ Sunshine and a good
time fun-derful day ♪
♪ When we're together
it's a happy time... ♪
[CLICK]
[BANG]
♪ When we're together
we're free to be ♪
♪ In ecstasy 'cuz we're
havin' such a good time. ♪
[MOANING]
We are completely
out of virgins!
Then we must sacrifice
something else...
Like our sluts.
Absolutely not!
I gave that beast my daughter.
I will not give it
my wife.
That's right, honey. I know.
I've always known.
What do you expect? You
don't touch me anymore.
Stop it! Stop it!
Don't you see?
That exactly what
beach whale want...
To drive us apart!
Don't give that son of a bitch
the satisfaction.
The beast must go!
Sweetcake and I started
spending a lot of time together.
She's so sweet.
Wooldoor,
I brought you a pwesent.
But you already bought me
these super-nice P.J's.
And now I brought you
a fwiendship earring.
You wear it all the time.
Whoa! That's the
nicest thing anyone...
I said at all times!
[THUD]
Wheeeee!
Now let's go make some dessert.
March, march, march, march!
Girls,
Foxxy love is
gettin' a bad feelin'
about ms. Sweetcake.
Oh, Foxxy, you are
such a pessimist.
You always see the bottle
as 20 ounces empty!
She is taggin' him and makin' him
wear those ridiculous pyjamas.
Hell, I even heard
she's performin' unnecessary
abortions on him!
Uh... unnecessary?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS]
That was one crazy yom kippur.
FOXXY: Sho' 'nuff,
everybody else
had done lost their minds.
But not the Foxxy.
She knew sweetcake
was up to no good.
Foxxy got a sixth sense
for this kind of thing
and 6 cents for a handy
in the back alley.
[RIMSHOT]
[GASPS] Oh, no!
Strawberry sweetcake's gonna...
Oh!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Now, let's finish making
those tasty tweats.
Why don't you and all
those delicious ingredients
hop into the fwiendship machine.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PUNCTUATION]
This all seems vaguely familiar.
Oh, well. Wheeee!
This Hawaiian vacation
turned out to be
exactly what I needed
to feel good about myself again.
O beast, you have
taken our food.
You have taken our virgins!
But we will never let you take
our freedom!
Freedom! Freedom!
Freedom! Freedom! Hmm?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[GRUNTING]
[RIP]
Unhh! Unhh!
Unhh!
[GRUNTING]
Yaaahh... ooh.
[CHUCKLING] Mmm. Ooh.
Uh-oh.
Ohhh...
[CHUCKLES]
Foxxy!
Who has done this to you?
I'd better take a picture
of the crime scene.
Here's a clue. And another clue.
If anyone needs me, I'll
be in the hero cave...
Rubbing out a solution.
Where's Wooldoor and sweetcake?
WOOLDOOR: Wheeeee!
Oh! Foxxy love? What
are you doing here?
You think you the first
barely legal chick
to tie me up and
try to eat my friend
right in front of me?
What you talkin' about, Foxxy?
Sweetcake here is tryin' to
kill our good friend Wooldoor.
She is? No way. Say it ain't so!
Little ol' me?
I have nothing against Sockbats.
I'm just pro-sweetcake.
Interesting. Pro-Sockbat.
It's much better
to be pro something
than con something else.
Then how does you explain this?
[ALL GASP]
[SUSPENSEFUL DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Daddy?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Mommy?
Auntie?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Soiled underwear... Y?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Aw... snap!
♪ Ling-Ling into battle goes ♪
♪ Fulfil the destiny... ♪
[THUD THUD]
[SONG CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
Yeee-aaaah!
Ahhh...
Ohhhhhhh...
Damn you all!
I almost finished what
my ancestors started.
And I would've gotten
away with it, too,
if it wasn't for that
meddling shvoogie.
Looks like you'll be spending
a choco-lotta time
behind candy bars!
Goddammit, I hate you.
Aha! Ohh! Ohh!
Now, hand over that
hook-nosed Sockbat,
or I'll fucking kill you all!
Good-bye, frightful beast.
See you in hellllll!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[SCREAMING]
[PANICKED SCREAMING]
[CLANG] [THUD]
TOOT: Aaaahhhh!
Aiee!
Ooh! Candy!
[GULPS] Oh.
Hey, Toot. I didn't
know you were back.
Who brought candy? Can we have some?
Please?
Yeah, go ahead.
[EXCITED CHATTER] Maybe you
should put this back on.
www... ow!
WOOLDOOR: As my house mates ate
what was left of my family,
I realised it was
important to never forget.
Mmm.
Oh, my god!
Is this an eyeball?! Ohh!
Oh, yeah. These are made
with the flesh and bones
of my slaughtered family.
I almost forgot again.
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
[LAUGHTER]
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
FOXXY: Dumb-ass!
ANNOUNCER: This year...
On Drawn Together...
[DRAMATIC INDISTINCT
CHORAL SINGING]
No-o-o-o-o-o!
You best stay out
of my way, bitch,
or you gonna be dead.
I want Foxxy love gone!
Would you just put
it in me already?
Clara, your mother's dead!
Did I tell you to stop lickin'?
Nobody likes fat chicks.
You'll feel better
after you kill yourself.
Aah! [SOBS]
I wish I were dead.
Drop your weapon!
No, you drop it!
I'm not afraid to die!
Kill them!
It all... Ends...
Now!
Hold on, everyone!
We're hit! We're hit!
[SCREAMING]
CAPTAIN HERO: With
my superpowers,
I could easily have
saved my house mates.
But I couldn't react. Why?
Because I smoke marijuana.
Still think drugs are cool?
[SCREAMING]
[ALARM BEEPS]
Aah!
So here we was,
plummetin' to our death
when... aah!
Toot! No!!
I-it's not worth it!
I have to try!
Aah! Goddamn it!
Well, this,
like Xandir in a
roomful of fat Chinamen,
blows chunks!
Nice! Nice!
Oh, Ling-Ling, there you at.
You Asians sho' do
love the brown sauce.
[SPEAKING JAPANESE]
Whee! That was fun!
Did everybody make it?
Let's see... Little
retard, swine,
rat, big retard,
Xandir, blackiboo...
Hey, where's
fatty-fatty two-by-four,
can't-fit-through
the-kitchen-door?
Help! Help!
Anyone!
[WHIMPERS]
Oh!
Aah!
[JAWS TYPE MUSIC PLAYS]
[SWALLOWS]
Look, everyone. It's
that ass hole Jeff Probst!
Survivors, immunity
is up for grabs.
Sweet! I know how to play this!
I lost my immunity
in a bathhouse.
This island is home
to the Wanatuba tribe.
These indigenous people have
survived here for centuries.
So your next challenge is...
[UNZIPS] My cock.
[CHANTING]
Hold up!
We don't need to be humiliated
and exploited like this anymo'.
But...
But nothin'!
We have done an entire season
of this reality TV crap.
We big stars now.
Fame and fortune
awaits us, y'all!
- I wanna be famous!
- I wanna be a big star!
I wanna be even bigger than
that douche bag Jeff Probst.
And I have just the plan
to get us off of this
deserted reality TV island.
Follow me!
JEFF: Wait!
Where are you going?
You'll be back.
They all come back!
FOXXY: Later, reality TV!
Wait... guys!
Guys!
Send fudge!
XANDIR: After we left the show,
we all went straight
to Hollywood
to cash in on our
much-deserved reality TV fame.
But what we got was a
different dose of reality.
Hi! I'm Xan...
We learned the sad truth.
There was nothing waiting
for us reality TV stars.
[WHISPERS] Nothing.
So we all just went home as if
we knew where that was anymore.
♪ You dreamed of
a-list parties ♪
♪ A talk show on late night ♪
♪ But those dreams burnt up ♪
♪ Like a concert
with great white ♪
[ SINGING IN JAPANESE ]
♪ It's a huge shit sangwich ♪
♪ And you have to take a bite ♪
♪ It's a huge ♪
♪ Shit ♪
♪ Sandwich ♪
♪ And you have to take a...
♪ Big ol' steamin' bite ♪
♪ Of the shit sandwich ♪
We should have never left
the Drawn Together house.
I realised I would never
survive on the outside.
Hey! Writing a suicide note?
I can help!
Please go away.
HERE'S A TIP: Avoid clichés
like "good-bye, cruel world,"
and remember to
blame your parents.
[CREAK, CREAK]
[GAGS]
Hey... oh!
You don't look so good.
Uh... oh.
Y-you... eh...
Oh, Wooldoor, dude...
[SOBBING]
FOXXY: Wooldoor's death
brought us all together.
This was the first funeral
I had been to in a long time
that did not take
place in my womb.
You know, I... Just don't
feel so bad for him.
He's the lucky one.
Wooldoor's death was
a real wakeup call.
Life without the cameras
wasn't worth livin'.
We all agreed there was only
one place we belong anymo'.
Well, well, well.
Look who came crawling back.
Do you know what
it's gonna take to
rebuild this house
you destroyed?
Where are the others?
Wooldoor is dead!
Pity. And what about that
disgusting black-and-white whale?
The disgusting black-and-white
whale has beached itself.
It need our help.
Ah, goddamn it! I'm
not a fucking whale!
I'm only slightly overweight,
for Christ's sakes!
You want several buckets of fish,
my sweet, fat, beached whale?
Ahh...
Ahh...
Whoa! I have not seen
that much fish eating
since lilith fair
come to island!
[RIMSHOT]
We want back in the house,
Mr. Jew producer!
Hmm. I'll tell you what.
I'll let you back into the house
if you play a little
game of simon says.
[ALL GASP]
[MANLY VOICE] Let's do it.
Simon says touch your nose.
OK. Simon says...
[ZIPPER]
He's got a nice, thick
cock, doesn't he?
Foxy, you said we didn't have
to be humiliated anymore.
Do we really have to do this?
We wants to be back
on TV, don't we?
Well then, I'm afraid we does.
I'm afraid we does.
Oh yea. Simon is a
filthy dirty bitch.
A filthy bitch with
a beautiful cock.
Simon says stare
directly at his cock.
I kid you not.
He degraded us for 3 1/2 hours.
And he went on about its size...
Simon says it's
biblical in scale!
It's beauty...
Simon says it's like a swan,
covered in sweat and veins.
Its musical ability...
[PLAYING CHOPSTICKS]
Until finally...
Ah... ah... ah...
[BULLET RICOCHET SOUND]
[MEOW]
[ZIPS] Now that
simon is finished,
you can move back
into the house.
Whoo! Yay!
But you need to find
one new room-mate.
[ALL GASP]
XANDIR: We soon realised that
it wouldn't be easy replacing
our dear, close friends...
Dead guy and Missing girl.
I was hoping to
find a new room-mate
who shared my deep
Christian faith.
Or a beaner.
So after you left mex...
I like to keep moving, keep it real.
What's up?
I am the most powerful
mouse in the world!
Hey, did I ever tell
you my movie idea?
You ain't gonna
steal it, are you?
I'll cut you! Why are
you all looking at me?
Ooh, I like the black one.
I can do anyth...
Oh, my!
Can I use your bathroom again?
Wilma, tell us about you, girl.
I'm the kind of person who
uses an armadillo for an iron,
a pterodactyl for
a record player,
and a prehistoric
worm for a tampon.
It's a living.
Oh, my god!
You're from mortal kombat?
I'm from a video game, too!
Tell me, what's
your special move?
Get over here!
[FRENZIED ELECTRONIC BEEPING]
Impressive.
My special move is
the reach-around.
Oy vey.
So after we interviewed
these two claymated guys
and this finger puppet and this
Monty python cut-out thing,
we were down to our last...
[PFFFT]
Hee hee hee.
I brought you all cake and candy
from the land of the
peppermint wainbow.
I love new fwiends.
She's so sweet!
Oh, can we keep her?
You're kidding me, right?
How old are you,
strawberry sweetcake? 8?
More like 18, silly willy.
I just taste 8.
She's so legal.
Can we keep her?
Well... OK.
Whoo! Whoo hoo!
PRODUCER: Mazel tov house mates!
Welcome to season 2.
Guys, can we, like, talk about
how great our new room-mate is?
She's, like, so great!
To sweetcake... For
making us realise
that we're all replaceable.
And to the teeniest
ass you can tap
without setting
off an amber alert.
Salute!
Hey, everybody.
What'd I Miss?
Ohh! Ohh! [GASP]
Oh, my god!
Wooldoor? We thought
you were dead!
So did the people who buried me.
But nothing could be
further from the truth.
I was just taking my
afternoon noose nap
when I woke up
buried 6 feet deep
in a pine box.
Luckily, I remembered my martial arts
training from kill bill volume 2.
I punched my way
through the casket...
And I began to dig...
And dug...
And dig and dug and dig and dug!
[GAME ELECTRONIC BEEPS]
Oh, I can see that.
That doesn't need any
further explanation.
Oh, Wooldoor, I'm
so glad you're back!
Oh, you wanna meet
your new room-mate?
I love new room-mates.
It's sugariffic to meet...
No fucking way!
She's the devil!
She massacred my family!
Yaaahh!
[SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY]
[CONTINUES SHOUTING]
[SOBBING]
Get a hold of yourself, Wooldoor.
Ow!
Don't you hit him! Ow!
Oh, yeah! Punchy party!
Oh!
Of course Wooldoor's
a little freaked out!
Ain't you heard? Them
sweetcakes was responsible
for the genocide
of the Sockbats.
Puh-lease. The Sockbat genocide
is nothing but a terrible lie
perpetrated by the evil
Sockbat banking conspiracy.
Ow!
It all began
many moons ago.
The Sockbats lived peacefully
with the sweetcakes.
But the great strawberry famine
brought a depression
that swept the land.
Lookin' for somebody to blame,
the sweetcakes turned on the
innocent, treat-lovin' Sockbats.
Soon, they was tagged
so they could keep
a watchful eye on
them little bastards.
The evil strawberry
sweetcake regime
schemed to rid themselves
of them wacky whatchamacallits
forever, chil'.
And soon, the
Sockbats was fooled
into manual Labor at the
sweetcake candy factories.
In the cruellest
of ironic twists,
the Sockbats became
the secret ingredient
in the one thing
they loved most.
Over 8 cramazijillion Sockbats
was made into sugary,
sweet, tasty treats.
In Sockbat Sunday school,
we're taught to never forget.
Never... Forget.
STRAWBERRY SWEETCAKE: My bad.
[GIGGLES]
Aww... She's so cute!
I can't stay mad at sweetcake.
Never forget!
[MOANING]
What should we do?
The ocean is bare!
I don't want my new friends
to think I'm ungrateful,
but when people promise
to keep Toot well fed,
they god damn better
keep Toot well fed!
Hey, what part of [MOANING]
Do you not understand?!
The annoying whale
is still hungry!
We must appease it
with a sacrifice...
A virgin sacrifice.
Go on, Seth.
Dude! I told you about that
girl from the teen tour.
Take me... Fir am virgin.
Hula-kamea!
Lai-lee, no!
You mustn't!
Aah!
Oh, my god!
It is unstoppable!
I want sweetcake out
of the house... Now!
Wahh, wahh, wahh!
"She slaughtered my family!"
The real crime here is that
nobody's banged her yet.
Am I right?
I'm not gay.
Wooldoor...
I may have massacred
your people,
but, gosh, golly gee,
that's in the past.
Now's the time to move
on and live together
in the land of honey
drops, laughter, and love.
I mean, after all,
you can't spell "slaughter"
without "laughter"!
So true. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Wooldoor, I don't expect
you to ever forgive us
for what we've done,
but I do think you can forget.
Can't you?
Foxxy, you're the
only one in the house
who isn't completely retarded.
What do you think?
Forgettin' the
lessons of history
insures that these atrocities
will happen again.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I have to put on this negligee
and bring papa his whiskey.
But forgetting will earn you
a deewicious nougat candy bar.
Nougat!
Yippee!
Now we can all be
one big happy family.
[LAUGHTER AND
INDISTINCT CHATTER]
♪ Sunshine and a good
time fun-derful day ♪
♪ When we're together
it's a happy time... ♪
[CLICK]
[BANG]
♪ When we're together
we're free to be ♪
♪ In ecstasy 'cuz we're
havin' such a good time. ♪
[MOANING]
We are completely
out of virgins!
Then we must sacrifice
something else...
Like our sluts.
Absolutely not!
I gave that beast my daughter.
I will not give it
my wife.
That's right, honey. I know.
I've always known.
What do you expect? You
don't touch me anymore.
Stop it! Stop it!
Don't you see?
That exactly what
beach whale want...
To drive us apart!
Don't give that son of a bitch
the satisfaction.
The beast must go!
Sweetcake and I started
spending a lot of time together.
She's so sweet.
Wooldoor,
I brought you a pwesent.
But you already bought me
these super-nice P.J's.
And now I brought you
a fwiendship earring.
You wear it all the time.
Whoa! That's the
nicest thing anyone...
I said at all times!
[THUD]
Wheeeee!
Now let's go make some dessert.
March, march, march, march!
Girls,
Foxxy love is
gettin' a bad feelin'
about ms. Sweetcake.
Oh, Foxxy, you are
such a pessimist.
You always see the bottle
as 20 ounces empty!
She is taggin' him and makin' him
wear those ridiculous pyjamas.
Hell, I even heard
she's performin' unnecessary
abortions on him!
Uh... unnecessary?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS]
That was one crazy yom kippur.
FOXXY: Sho' 'nuff,
everybody else
had done lost their minds.
But not the Foxxy.
She knew sweetcake
was up to no good.
Foxxy got a sixth sense
for this kind of thing
and 6 cents for a handy
in the back alley.
[RIMSHOT]
[GASPS] Oh, no!
Strawberry sweetcake's gonna...
Oh!
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
Now, let's finish making
those tasty tweats.
Why don't you and all
those delicious ingredients
hop into the fwiendship machine.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PUNCTUATION]
This all seems vaguely familiar.
Oh, well. Wheeee!
This Hawaiian vacation
turned out to be
exactly what I needed
to feel good about myself again.
O beast, you have
taken our food.
You have taken our virgins!
But we will never let you take
our freedom!
Freedom! Freedom!
Freedom! Freedom! Hmm?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[GRUNTING]
[RIP]
Unhh! Unhh!
Unhh!
[GRUNTING]
Yaaahh... ooh.
[CHUCKLING] Mmm. Ooh.
Uh-oh.
Ohhh...
[CHUCKLES]
Foxxy!
Who has done this to you?
I'd better take a picture
of the crime scene.
Here's a clue. And another clue.
If anyone needs me, I'll
be in the hero cave...
Rubbing out a solution.
Where's Wooldoor and sweetcake?
WOOLDOOR: Wheeeee!
Oh! Foxxy love? What
are you doing here?
You think you the first
barely legal chick
to tie me up and
try to eat my friend
right in front of me?
What you talkin' about, Foxxy?
Sweetcake here is tryin' to
kill our good friend Wooldoor.
She is? No way. Say it ain't so!
Little ol' me?
I have nothing against Sockbats.
I'm just pro-sweetcake.
Interesting. Pro-Sockbat.
It's much better
to be pro something
than con something else.
Then how does you explain this?
[ALL GASP]
[SUSPENSEFUL DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Daddy?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Mommy?
Auntie?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Soiled underwear... Y?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
Aw... snap!
♪ Ling-Ling into battle goes ♪
♪ Fulfil the destiny... ♪
[THUD THUD]
[SONG CONTINUES, INDISTINCT]
Yeee-aaaah!
Ahhh...
Ohhhhhhh...
Damn you all!
I almost finished what
my ancestors started.
And I would've gotten
away with it, too,
if it wasn't for that
meddling shvoogie.
Looks like you'll be spending
a choco-lotta time
behind candy bars!
Goddammit, I hate you.
Aha! Ohh! Ohh!
Now, hand over that
hook-nosed Sockbat,
or I'll fucking kill you all!
Good-bye, frightful beast.
See you in hellllll!
Aah! Aah! Aah!
[SCREAMING]
[PANICKED SCREAMING]
[CLANG] [THUD]
TOOT: Aaaahhhh!
Aiee!
Ooh! Candy!
[GULPS] Oh.
Hey, Toot. I didn't
know you were back.
Who brought candy? Can we have some?
Please?
Yeah, go ahead.
[EXCITED CHATTER] Maybe you
should put this back on.
www... ow!
WOOLDOOR: As my house mates ate
what was left of my family,
I realised it was
important to never forget.
Mmm.
Oh, my god!
Is this an eyeball?! Ohh!
Oh, yeah. These are made
with the flesh and bones
of my slaughtered family.
I almost forgot again.
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
[LAUGHTER]
Ha ha! Ha ha! Ha ha!
FOXXY: Dumb-ass!
ANNOUNCER: This year...
On Drawn Together...
[DRAMATIC INDISTINCT
CHORAL SINGING]
No-o-o-o-o-o!