Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): Season 2, Episode 13 - A Woman Too Far - full transcript

Doogie is attracted to a nursing student who he asks out behind Wanda's back. A man who is staying at the hospital is married to two different women without each one knowing about the other. He asks Doogie to try and prevent each one from seeing the other.

Man on TV: Aren't
you glad to see me?

Woman: Dennis, I think
people know. They stare at me.

I hear them whispering.
They know, I tell you.

"YOUNG DOCTORS."
I LOVE THIS SHOW.

TINA IS HAVING DR. HELM'S
BABY, BUT THEY'RE NOT SURE.

SOME PEOPLE THINK IT'S
THE REVEREND SMITH'S.

ALTHOUGH, IT COULD BE
BLAKE'S. HE'S THAT CONVICT

THAT HELD HER HOSTAGE
FOR FIVE MONTHS.

OR IT COULD BE THAT CARNIVAL
BARKER. HE WAS SO CUTE.

- WOULD YOU BE QUIET?
- HIS GIRLFRIEND PLAYS HEATHER.

- SHH! I'M TRYING
TO WATCH THIS.
- OH, PARDON ME.



THAT CAN'T BE HER REAL HAIR.

- I HAD A DACHSHUND
THAT COLOR ONCE.
- SHH!

Tomorrow, you
can be mine forever.

Oh, Dennis,

quench my desires.

Doogie: "QUENCH MY DESIRES"?

WHO SAYS CRAP LIKE THAT?

BAD WRITING, GREAT ACTING.

Kiss me.

Give me one kiss to
get me through the night.

HEY, THAT KISS COULD GET
HER THROUGH THE DECADE.

WHOA, I THINK SHE JUST SLIPPED
HIM THE TONGUE. CAN THEY DO THAT?

THAT'S NOTHING. I
SAY BY WEDNESDAY

HIS STETHOSCOPE'S GOING TO
BE HANGING ON HER BEDPOST.



- IT CAN'T GET
STEAMIER THAN THAT.
- SURE.

THEY'RE PROBABLY REHEARSING
AN EVEN HOTTER SCENE RIGHT NOW.

HOW MANY TIMES DO THEY HAVE
TO REHEARSE STUFF LIKE THAT?

JUST UNTIL THEY GET IT RIGHT.

(sighs)

(phone ringing)

- OH!
- UH, EXCUSE ME.

- HI, DR. HOWSER.
- HI, LISA.

I'M GLAD YOU RAN INTO ME.

I, UH, JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU

HOW MUCH I ENJOYED YOUR
LECTURE ON X-RAY ANATOMY.

OH, GOOD. GREAT.

I ENJOYED YOUR
QUESTION AFTERWARD.

I WAS WONDERING IF YOU MIGHT
RECOMMEND SOME REFERENCE MATERIAL.

I'VE ALREADY READ THE
SUGGESTED BOOK LIST,

AND I NOTICED THERE WERE SOME
OTHERS IN THE HOSPITAL LIBRARY.

SURE, I CAN HELP YOU.

AND TOMORROW YOU
CAN BE MINE FOREVER.

Darling,

quench my desires.

You have a way
with words, darling.

Kiss me.

Just give me one kiss

that'll get me
through the night.

Oh... Douglas.

DR. HOWSER? DR. HOWSER?

- Woman on P.A.:
in Cardiology, stat.
- HUH?

OH, SURE, I'LL MAKE YOU A LIST

SO YOU CAN QUENCH...
QUENCH YOUR, UH, THIRST

FOR KNOWLEDGE, SO TO SPEAK.

THANK YOU, DR. HOWSER.

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Miguel to CCU, stat.

BIG TROUBLE.

(theme music playing)

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LET ME GO OVER THE FACTS.

SHE'S A NURSING
STUDENT, GORGEOUS.

SHE'S ATTRACTED TO YOU,

AND YOU'RE DEFINITELY
KNOCKED OUT BY HER.

WHY AREN'T I SEEING
A SMILE ON THIS FACE?

- BECAUSE OF THIS FACE.
- DOOG,

SHE'S A NURSING STUDENT.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY
DO. THEY GIVE MEN BATHS.

SHE'S GOT TO PRACTICE
SOMEWHERE, LIKE MAYBE YOU.

WOULD YOU STOP?

THE DEAL IS, I LOVE WANDA,

BUT I HAVE THIS INCREDIBLE
DESIRE TO SEE LISA.

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- WRONG GUY TO ASK. I HAVE NO SCRUPLES.

MEANING YOU'D ASK HER OUT?

DOES THE POPE WEAR A FANCY HAT?

BUT YOU ONLY GO OUT WITH JANINE.

WHAT CAN I TELL YOU?
I'M AN UNSCRUPULOUS GUY

WITH NO OPPORTUNITIES.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO? GO OUT
WITH WANDA FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?

YOU'VE GOT TO TEST THE WATERS.

I'D TEST THEM, EXCEPT NOBODY
WANTS ME IN THEIR WATERS.

I NEED SOME HELP HERE.

OKAY. DO WHAT I DO

WHEN I'M FACED WITH A DECISION.

THROW A DART. IF
YOU HIT THE BULL'S-EYE,

BAM, TAKE HER OUT.

HERE. GO AHEAD
AND GIVE IT A SHOT.

OH.

WOW! BAD OMEN.

Man: IT WAS RIGHT AFTER LUNCH.

I WAS JUST COMING DOWN THE
GRAPEVINE WHEN IT STARTED KICKING IN.

(groans) I THOUGHT IT
WAS THAT DAMN BURRITO

AT DINAH'S KITCHEN.

YOU COULD CLOG A BATHTUB
WITH ONE OF THOSE BABIES.

- ANY NAUSEA?
- PLENTY OF THAT.

- HAVE YOU HAD ANYTHING
LIKE THIS BEFORE?
- A FEW WEEKS AGO,

BUT NOT AS BAD. IT WENT
AWAY AFTER ABOUT A DAY.

I'LL GET WEBER ON THE
HORN AND DRAW BLOOD.

MRS. LESTER, IT'S JUST A PARTIAL
SMALL BOWEL OBSTRUCTION.

NOTHING DANGEROUS. I'D LIKE
TO ADMIT HIM FOR A FEW DAYS

TO RUN SOME TESTS,
AND WE'LL GO FROM THERE.

(sighs) THANK GOD! OH!

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO
BE JUST FINE, SUGARPLUM.

I REALLY THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING
TERRIBLE. WHEN HE CAME HOME,

I HAD TO HELP HIM
OUT OF THE TRUCK.

HE WORKS SO HARD,
AND HE HAS TO DRIVE

SO MANY MILES.

I'M JUST RELIEVED
IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT
I'D DO WITHOUT HIM.

WE'LL TAKE GOOD CARE
OF HIM, MRS. LESTER.

MY GIFT.

Woman on P.A.: Dr. Evans
to dialysis unit, stat.

(phone ringing)

BIG, BIG TROUBLE.

YOU SEEM A LITTLE
PENSIVE, SON. ANYTHING UP?

OH, IT'S...

IT'S VINNIE.

I'M... I'M WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

HE AND JANINE HAVE BEEN
GOING STEADY FOR SIX MONTHS,

AND THEY DO NOTHING BUT SEE
JUST EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME.

IT DOESN'T SEEM HEALTHY.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

VINCENT SEEMS TO
BE MUCH MORE MATURE

SINCE HE'S BEEN WITH JANINE.

ALSO MORE SCARCE.

MUCH CALMER, MORE SELF-ASSURED.
I THINK IT'S BEEN GOOD FOR HIM.

YEAH, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

YOU'RE SO WORRIED
ABOUT VINNIE AND JANINE.

WHAT ABOUT YOU AND WANDA?

EXACTLY. WHAT
ABOUT ME AND WANDA?

WE'VE BEEN GOING TOGETHER FOR
OVER A YEAR... WAY OVER A YEAR,

SOMETHING LIKE 473 DAYS.

MAYBE WE'RE GETTING TOO
SERIOUS. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

YOUR SITUATION IS A LITTLE
DIFFERENT THAN VINNIE'S.

HIS WHOLE TIME IS
SPENT SOCIALIZING.

HE HAS MORE OF A VARIETY
OF PEOPLE TO CHOOSE FROM.

WELL, ABSOLUTELY. WHEREAS,
I, ON THE OTHER HAND,

WITH MUCH LESS
TIME TO SOCIALIZE,

AM BEING PRESENTED
WITH A MUCH SMALLER MIX.

NOW, DON'T GET US
WRONG. WE LOVE WANDA.

ME, TOO. IT'S JUST THAT...

SAY, IN THE REMOTEST
OF POSSIBILITIES,

I WERE TO MEET SOMEONE AND ASK
HER OUT. THAT WOULD BE GOOD FOR ME.

- WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- YES.

YES. BEFORE YOUR
MOTHER AND I GOT ENGAGED,

I DATED QUITE FREQUENTLY.

QUITE FREQUENTLY, HMM?

WELL, MORE FREQUENTLY
THAN LESS FREQUENTLY.

MAYBE "FREQUENTLY" IS
THE WRONG WORD HERE.

LOOK, I GOTTA RUN.

THANKS, MOM AND DAD, FOR
YOUR ALWAYS SOUND ADVICE.

NEXT TERM LOOKS TOUGH.

I HEAR McKEAN FOR CARDIOVASCULAR
PHYSIOLOGY IS MURDER.

ON THE OTHER HAND, CARLIN
IS A FLAKE. WHAT DO YOU THINK?

UM...

LISA, THERE'S SOMETHING

- REALLY IMPORTANT
I WANT TO ASK YOU.
- (bell dings)

- DR. HOWSER.
- Woman on P.A.:
Security to Admitting.

Security to Admitting.

SO WHAT DID YOU WANT TO ASK ME?

DO YOU JUST WANT A GOOD GRADE,
OR ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A CHALLENGE?

A CHALLENGE IS A GOOD THING,
DON'T YOU THINK, DR. CANFIELD?

YES, INDEED, A CHALLENGE
IS A GOOD THING IN LIFE,

DR. HOWSER.

BEING A FRESHMAN, I'D LIKE
TO GET OFF TO A GOOD START,

- BUT I'D ALSO LIKE TO FIND OUT IF...
- (bell dings)

MY FLOOR.

LISA, WAIT.

WILL YOU GOT OUT WITH
ME TOMORROW NIGHT?

YES, OF COURSE. I'D LOVE TO.

COOL.

BYE.

BYE.

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Bryard to Cardiology.

(whispers) YES.

THE LOWER G.I. X-RAYS
CONFIRM WHAT I THOUGHT...

REGIONAL ENTERITIS,
OR CROHN'S DISEASE.

IT'S AN INFLAMMATION
OF THE INTESTINES.

IT HAS A HIGH RATE
OF RECURRENCE,

SO I WANT TO MAKE SURE WE
GET THE RIGHT TREATMENT GOING.

I'M GOING TO START YOU ON SULFADINE
AND SEE HOW YOU TOLERATE THAT.

- HOPEFULLY, YOU SHOULD BE
HOME WITHIN A FEW DAYS.
- (gasps)

OH, THAT'S GREAT, HONEY!
I'M GOING TO CALL THE KIDS.

- YOU DO THAT, BABY.
- THEN I'M GOING DOWNSTAIRS
TO THE CAFETERIA.

I JUST LOVE THAT PLACE. IT REMINDS
ME OF WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL.

BYE-BYE, SUGARPLUM. MISS YOU.

NOT AS MUCH AS I'M GOING
TO MISS YOU, SWEETIE. (kisses)

- SO I'M GOING TO BE
ALL RIGHT, HUH?
- YEAH.

ROY, FLARE-UPS IN YOUR
CONDITION ARE OFTEN CAUSED

BY A LOT OF STRESS AND ANXIETY.

HOW ARE THINGS
WITH YOU? HOME? JOB?

STRESS? ARE YOU KIDDING?

THINGS COULDN'T BE BETTER.
GREAT HOME, GREAT JOB.

LIFE'S JUST ONE HUMONGOUS
BOWL OF CHERRIES

- FOR ROY LESTER.
- (knock at door)

HONEY?

SWEET CAKE, WHAT
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

BABY, I WAS SO
WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

(chuckles) HONEY, SAY
HELLO TO DR. HOWSER HERE.

OH, HI. I'M MRS. ROY LESTER.

YOU'RE MRS. ROY LESTER.

THE ONE AND ONLY.

MMM, BABY.

BOY, OH, BOY, WHAT A SURPRISE.

IT'S A BIG SURPRISE,
ISN'T IT, DOC?

YEAH, A SURPRISE,
VERY SURPRISING.

MARGE, YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO COME ALL
THE WAY DOWN HERE FROM SACRAMENTO.

I TOLD YOU IT WAS NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, NO BIG DEAL? A
WIFE'S GOT TO BE WITH HER HUSBAND.

THE DOC WAS JUST ABOUT READY
TO EXAMINE ME, WEREN'T YOU, DOC?

YES, EXAMINING,

AND RIGHT NOW IS A
GOOD TIME TO DO IT.

I'M JUST GLAD TO
SEE YOU'RE ALL RIGHT.

I'LL RUN AND GET A
BITE AT THE CAFETERIA.

- YOU DO THAT, HONEY BABE.
- I DIDN'T EAT ANYTHING
ALL THE WAY DOWN HERE.

- (kisses)
- NO, NO, NO!

NOT THE CAFETERIA. DEFINITELY
NOT. VERY DANGEROUS.

THEY'RE WASHING THE
FLOORS, REAL SLIPPERY.

WHY DON'T YOU VISIT
OUR UNIQUE GIFT SHOP?

THEY HAVE A WONDERFUL
ASSORTMENT OF COFFEE MUGS.

YOU MIGHT EVEN FIND ONE
THAT SAYS "I LOVE SACRAMENTO."

ANYWAY, THERE'S AMPLE
BROWSING PLEASURE DOWN THERE.

OH, GREAT. A COFFEE MUG FOR ME,

SOME STUFF TO BRING
HOME FOR THE KIDS,

AND A COPY OF "GUNS
AND AMMO" FOR MY HONEY.

THAT WAS YOUR WIFE?

AND THE ONE IN
THE CAFETERIA WAS...

YOU HAVE TWO WIVES,
LIKE, TOGETHER?

NOW, NOW, JUST CALM DOWN.

- IT'S JUST ONE
OF THOSE THINGS.
- JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS?

YOU SEE, I WAS DATING TWO WOMEN

AT THE ENDS OF MY
TRUCKING ROUTE...

MARGE IN SACRAMENTO,
AND JOANNE IN L.A.

JOANNE AND I STARTED GETTING
SERIOUS, SO I ASKED HER TO MARRY ME.

THEN WHEN I WENT TO TELL MARGE,

I STARTED HINTING AROUND

THAT... THAT MAYBE WE
SHOULD BREAK IT OFF,

AND...

SHE STARTED CRYING.

I JUST CAN'T TAKE SOBBING, SO...

SO YOU DID THE NATURAL THING...
YOU MARRIED BOTH OF THEM.

(sighs) LOOK, IT'S LIKE THIS.

WHEN I STARE INTO THOSE
BEAUTIFUL BROWN EYES

OR... BEAUTIFUL BLUE EYES,

DEPENDING ON WHICH
FACE I'M STARING INTO,

I JUST GET ALL SILLY.

BUT IT'S NOT LIKE I'M
A WOMANIZER, DOC.

I'M TOTALLY FAITHFUL
TO BOTH OF THEM.

AND YOU HAVE FAMILIES WITH BOTH?

OH, YEAH, WONDERFUL FAMILY.

I'M JUST NUTS ABOUT 'EM.

JUST LOOK AT THOSE FACES, DOC.

THERE'S BETTY, ANGIE, ROY JR.

AND THAT'S RONNIE AND BECKY,

ROY JR.

TWO ROY JUNIORS?

I JUST COULDN'T RESIST. IT'S
JUST SUCH A DARN GOOD NAME.

WELL, I GUESS A LOT OF MEN
HAVE TWO WIVES IN THEIR LIFETIME.

YOU JUST CHOSE TO
DO IT SIMULTANEOUSLY.

LOOK, DOC, I KNOW

WHAT I DID WAS WRONG,

BUT I LOVE EACH AND
EVERY ONE OF THESE PEOPLE.

YOU GOTTA HELP ME, DOC.

- HELP YOU?
- YEAH.

YOU SAID MY
CONDITION WAS SERIOUS,

THAT I SHOULDN'T
AGGRAVATE IT. PLEASE?

ALL RIGHT. I'LL HAVE TO SET UP

SEPARATE VISITING
SCHEDULES FOR EACH ONE,

AND ANY VISITOR WILL
HAVE TO CHECK THROUGH ME,

BUT... I'LL DO MY BEST.

OH, THANKS A HEAP, DOC.

THANKS A HEAP!

YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT
THIS GUY HAS A SPARE WIFE?

I'M NOT MUCH BETTER
THAN THIS JOKER.

COME ON, DOOG. EASE UP.

THE DUDE'S MARRIED TO TWO WOMEN.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN MARRIED TO ONE.

- NO, BUT I'M ABOUT
TO CHEAT ON HER.
- NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YOU'RE NOT EVEN LYING TO HER.

YOU'RE JUST NOT GIVING HER ALL
THE INCRIMINATING INFORMATION

SHE WOULD NEED TO
THINK YOU'RE LYING TO HER.

VINNIE, FORGET FILM
SCHOOL... GO LAW.

DOOG,

YOU'RE 17, UNATTACHED.

YOU HAVE THE INALIENABLE
MALE HUMAN RIGHT

TO PLAY THE FIELD LIKE A BANJO.

YOU GOT A HOT BABE
DROOLING OVER YOU,

AND YOU'RE NOT LYING TO WANDA.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

- YOU ARE RIGHT.
- (phone rings)

(rings)

HELLO.

(whimpers, clears
throat) HI, WANDA. YEAH.

GO... GO OUT TONIGHT?

ISN'T IT A SCHOOL NIGHT?

WELL, UM...

OH, I ALMOST FORGOT,

VINNIE AND I ARE
DOING SOMETHING. YEAH.

WHAT... WHAT ARE WE
DOING? WHAT ARE WE DOING?

WE ARE... WE'RE GOING...

- (whispers) WHAT IS THAT?
- HOCKEY!

HOCKEY, HOCKEY, HOCKEY.

WE'RE GOING TO A KINGS GAME.

BEEN PLANNING IT FOR MONTHS.
VINNIE'S A BIG GRETZKY FAN.

YOU BET.

OK... OH, I MISS YOU.

YEAH.

I LOVE YOU.

OKAY, BYE. NOW I DID IT.

AND DID IT GOOD. I'M
DAMN PROUD OF YOU, MAN.

(laughs) THE LOOK ON YOUR FACE
WHEN YOU BIT INTO THAT HAGGIS.

- AT LEAST I ATE
HALF OF MINE.
- THAT'S TRUE.

I PROMISE THE NEXT SCOTTISH
RESTAURANT WE GO TO

WILL BE A McDONALD'S.

I HAD A REALLY
GOOD TIME, DOOGIE.

YEAH, I DID, TOO.

SO, HOW ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

UH...

YEAH, SURE, THAT WOULD BE GREAT.

(sighs) THAT'S A RELIEF.

YOU SEE, I WAS KIND OF SEEING
SOMEBODY WHEN YOU ASKED ME OUT.

I TOLD HIM ABOUT IT, AND
HE HAD A BIG PROBLEM,

SO WE SORT OF BROKE UP.

IT WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RIGHT
TO GO OUT BEHIND HIS BACK.

NO, OF COURSE THAT
WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN RIGHT.

IT DIDN'T REALLY MATTER TO
ME 'CAUSE I KNEW WE'D HIT IT OFF,

AND WE DID.

I'M JUST... GLAD
THERE'S A FUTURE HERE.

YOU MAKE ME HAPPY, DOOGIE.

- (sighs)
- ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

YEAH. IT'S... IT'S THE HAGGIS.

- SEE YOU
TOMORROW NIGHT.
- YEAH.

I'M GOING TO HAVE A CONSULTATION
WITH DR. WEBER AT 3:00.

- OKAY.
- HE SHOULD BE OUT OF SURGERY
AND WE SHOULD KNOW MORE...

BUT LET ME GO BACK AND SEE IF HE'S
THROUGH WITH HIS ENDOSCOPY YET.

YOU CAN WAIT IN HERE. YOU
CAN SEE HIM IN 15 MINUTES.

- 15 MINUTES?
- 15 MINUTES WOULD BE GREAT.

MRS. LESTER.
(chuckles) YOU'RE EARLY.

- I AM?
- YES, YOU ARE.

- YOU CAN ONLY SEE ROY
FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES.
- ALL RIGHT.

HE STILL HAS TO HAVE A
LOWER ENDOSCOPY AND A CT.

YOU CAN SEE HIM AFTER THAT,
BUT, FOR NOW, JUST FIVE MINUTES.

- GREAT?
- YEAH.

GREAT. GREAT.

(sneakers squeak)

UH, 13 MINUTES.

OKAY, THIS IS NUTS.

NOW I'VE GOT JOANNE
IN THE FLOWER SHOP

AND MARGE LOOKING AT
BABIES IN THE NURSERY.

THE ENDOSCOPY SHOWED
SEVERE ILEAL INFLAMMATION.

YOUR CONDITION IS GETTING
WORSE, AND I AM A WRECK.

- LOOK, ROY, YOU HAVE
GOT TO TELL THEM.
- I CAN'T.

IF YOU DON'T, I'M GOING
TO HAVE TO SLICE YOU OPEN.

LOOK, YOU'VE GOT
TWO PROBLEMS HERE.

ONE IS LEGAL. THE
OTHER IS MEDICAL.

IF ONE DOESN'T GET
YOU, THE OTHER WILL.

SO IF NOT FOR DECENCY OR
MORALITY, DO IT FOR YOUR HEALTH

AND MAYBE HAVE A
CHANCE AT A FUTURE.

IT'S TIME TO FACE
THE MUSIC, ROY.

(sighs)

YEAH.

OKAY, MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT, DOC.

I'LL... I'LL TELL JOANNE.

NO, UH, MAYBE MARGE.

NO, UH...

- HOW ABOUT JOANNE?
- YOU WANT ME TO PICK?

OKAY, ALL RIGHT, MARGE.

I MARRIED JOANNE FIRST.
IT'S ONLY FAIR I STAY WITH HER.

WAIT. YOU'RE NOT GOING
TO TELL THEM BOTH?

AND LOSE EVERYTHING?
ARE YOU CRAZY?

I'M JUST GOING TO DIVORCE ONE.

WELL, IT'S A START.

HI, DOOGIE. I'M READY.

HI. CAN WE SIT DOWN AND TALK?

SURE.

- I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW
HOW TO SAY THIS.
- SAY WHAT?

LISTEN...

I REALLY LIKE YOU.

I HAVE NEVER HAD A
BETTER FIRST DATE,

BUT THERE WAS SOMETHING
I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU

BEFORE THAT GREAT FIRST DATE.

SO I MIGHT AS WELL SAY IT NOW.

I'M GOING WITH SOMEONE.

IS THIS A JOKE?

NO.

WHY... WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

BECAUSE...

I WAS CHICKEN.

I DIDN'T KNOW HOW
I'D FEEL ABOUT YOU,

BUT NOW I DO KNOW HOW
I FEEL ABOUT YOU AND...

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

WELL, I DON'T WANT
TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

WHY NOT? YOU SAID
YOU REALLY LIKED ME.

BECAUSE...

IF YOU'D LIE TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND,

EVENTUALLY YOU'RE
GOING TO LIE TO ME.

AND...

THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF GUY
I WANT TO BE SERIOUS WITH.

LISA, WAIT.

Doogie: SHE SLAPPED ME.

HER FEELINGS WERE HURT.

I THINK WHAT YOU
DIDN'T ANTICIPATE

WAS HOW MUCH THIS
GIRL REALLY LIKED YOU.

I REALLY BEHAVED LIKE A JERK.

LET UP ON YOURSELF,
SON. YOU'RE ONLY 17.

THIS IS HOW YOU LEARN
THE LESSONS OF THE HEART.

I GUESS THE RIGHT THING
NOW IS TO TELL WANDA?

I WOULDN'T.

YOU'D JUST BE EASING YOUR
MIND AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE.

(chuckles) THAT'S
YOUR ADVICE, TO LIE?

NOW, I AM NOT
ADVISING THE BOY TO LIE.

I'M JUST SUGGESTING
THAT THERE ARE TIMES

WHEN IT IS NOT ALWAYS WISE

TO CONFESS THE WHOLE TRUTH.

OH. AM I TO TAKE IT, THEN,

THAT YOU HAVE CERTAIN
SECRETS YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME?

- (conversation fades)
- (beeps)

(theme music playing)

(orchestra playing
Vivaldi's "Four Seasons")

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