Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): Season 2, Episode 12 - TV or Not TV - full transcript

Needing a recommendation to get into NYU film school, Vinnie poses as an orderly to try and meet the head of ABC television who is staying at the hospital. Meanwhile, Doogie's first poker night with the guys at the hospital is memorable for all the wrong reasons.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND. I
GOTTA HAVE THAT LETTER.

I'LL WRITE IT. I'VE
JUST BEEN BUSY.

I ASKED FOR IT TWO WEEKS AGO.

MY COLLEGE APPLICATION
IS DUE IN SIX DAYS.

I SAID I'LL DO IT, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT. I WON'T
SAY ANOTHER WORD.

- THANK YOU.
- THE SOONER I GET
IT IN, THE BETTER.

- (sighs)
- NOT ANOTHER WORD,
NOT ONE WORD.

FOUR PARAGRAPHS WOULD
BE NICE, SINGLE-SPACED.

- NOT A WORD.
- (sighs)

I STILL DON'T KNOW WHY
YOU'RE GOING TO NYU.



BECAUSE IT'S GOT A GREAT FILM
SCHOOL, AND IT'S NEAR MY ROOTS.

NEW YORK'S A TOUGH PLACE.
THERE'S A THREE-BULLET-HOLE MINIMUM

TO GET INTO ANY
EMERGENCY ROOM IN TOWN.

PLUS, DO YOU HAVE IDEA HOW
MUCH IT COSTS TO LIVE THERE?

THAT'S THE KICKER. I GOT
FREE ROOM AND BOARD

AT GRANDMA DELPINO'S.

THERE'S A REAL TEENAGER'S
DREAM COME TRUE.

SHE'S A COOL OLD LADY. SHE
USED TO DATE GANGSTERS.

HOW DELIGHTFUL.
A REAL ROLE MODEL.

YEAH. SO I GOTTA HAVE THREE
LETTERS OF RECOMMENDATION.

I ALREADY GOT ONE FROM MY
FRENCH TEACHER, MADAME FELDBLUM.

I'LL HAVE YOURS VERY SOON.

NOW, I FIGURE THE NEXT
ONE HAS TO BE A BIGGIE.

NO. I'M ON A GURNEY IN AN
EMERGENCY ROOM, FOR GOD'S SAKES.



- I NEED SOMEBODY THAT'LL
REALLY PUT ME OVER THE TOP.
- WHAT'S THIS?

LOOKS LIKE A HERNIATED DISC
WITH NERVE ROOT COMPRESSION.

BAD SLIDE INTO THIRD BASE.

- LET'S GET HIM
INTO NUMBER TWO.
- BYE-BYE.

LET'S GO.

DO YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?

THAT'S BRADFORD EISNER.

- WHO'S BRADFORD EISNER?
- "WHO'S BRADFORD EISNER"?

HE'S ONLY THE HEAD OF PROGRAMMING
FOR ABC TELEVISION, THAT'S ALL.

- NO.
- DOOG!

NO. HE'S A PATIENT.
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

HEY, YOU'RE RIGHT.

I GOT CRAZY FOR A MINUTE.

(theme music playing)

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Doogie: YOUR INITIAL
X-RAYS WERE INCONCLUSIVE.

SO RIGHT NOW WE'RE TALKING
ABOUT AN MRI OF THE SPINE,

SOME TRIAL BED
REST AND TRACTION,

SOME PAIN MEDICATION AND
SOME MUSCLE RELAXANTS.

NO MEDICATION. NO WAY.

I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF MY MIDSEASON
LINEUP. I'VE GOT TO STAY ALERT.

I OWE IT TO MY VIEWERS.

OKAY, WELL, WE'LL JUST
TAKE IT ONE STEP AT A TIME.

- DEAL?
- DEAL.

I'LL BE BACK TO CHECK
ON YOU A BIT LATER.

Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Perry, call the pharmacy.

MR. EISNER,

YOU PROBABLY GET
THIS ALL THE TIME,

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT
I'VE BEEN THINKING

WOULD MAKE A FABULOUS
TELEVISION SHOW?

I HAVEN'T A CLUE.

THE LIFE OF A NURSE,

A REAL NURSE, THOUGH...
ONE WHO CARES.

A NO-NONSENSE NURSE

WITH A DEDICATION AND
COMPASSION THAT GO BEYOND HER JOB.

EXACTLY.

A WOMAN WHOSE MANY
SCRAPES WITH ROMANCE

HAVE ALWAYS ENDED IN TRAGEDY,

BUT SHE MANAGES TO...

IT'S SOUNDS AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL,

BUT IT'S ONLY LOOSELY
AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL.

IF YOU SAT DOWN WITH
ME FOR 20 MINUTES,

I COULD TELL YOU STORIES.

WE'LL SET UP SOMETHING BETWEEN
YOUR PEOPLE AND MY PEOPLE.

I HAVEN'T GOT ANY PEOPLE.

GET SOME.

OKAY.

(door opens)

HERE WE GO, MR., UH...

EISNER.

AH, SOME DELICIOUS CHICKEN

WITH SOME INTERESTING
SAUCE OF SOME KIND,

COUNTRY FRESH SUCCOTASH,

AND SOME YUMMY BLUE DESSERT...

UH, PUDDING,

MAYBE.

VERY NUTRITIOUS.
FISH IS BRAIN FOOD.

CHICKEN IS BACK FOOD.

LET ME GET YOU IN THE
PROPER EATING ANGLE HERE.

(clears throat)

BE SURE AND SCREAM
OUT IF YOU FEEL ANY PAIN.

DON'T HOLD BACK. THAT
WAY I'LL KNOW WHEN TO STOP.

- (groans)
- THAT SHOULD DO IT.

- (sighs)
- IS THERE ANY PLACE
YOU NEED TO ITCH

THAT YOU CAN'T REACH?
WE'RE FULL SERVICE HERE.

I TRIMMED MY NAILS
JUST THIS MORNING.

VERY NICE. I'LL USE MY OWN.

SORRY, MR. EISNER. THERE
MUST HAVE BEEN A MIX-UP

WITH YOUR... (chuckles)

YOU GOT YOUR TRAY.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

THIS OVERLY ZEALOUS ORDERLY
RIGHT HERE BROUGHT IT TO ME.

JUST CHECKING FOR GERMS.

AH! YEAH, ALL CLEAR.

AH, YES, ORDERLY DELPINO.

HE'S DEFINITELY ONE OF OUR BEST.

COULD I SPEAK TO YOU
OUTSIDE FOR A MINUTE,

ORDERLY DELPINO?

CERTAINLY, ORDERLY ALEXANDER.

EXCUSE US. (chuckles)

YOU ENJOY YOUR
LUNCH, MR. EISNER.

- LET GO OF ME.
- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
TRYING TO DO TO ME?

- I'M NOT TRYING
TO DO ANYTHING TO YOU!
- WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN THERE?

THAT GUY IS BRADFORD EISNER.
HE'S A BIG TELEVISION PERSON.

I GOT TO GET TO KNOW HIM SO HE CAN WRITE
ME A RECOMMENDATION FOR FILM SCHOOL.

- NOT ON MY TIME.
- COME ON, RAYMOND!

CUT ME A BREAK.

LET ME DELIVER HIS FOOD OR
SOMETHING, JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

- THIS COULD BE
THE SHOT I NEED.
- NO DICE.

(sighs) YOU KNOW, RAYMOND,

EVER SINCE YOU HELD ME HOSTAGE
IN THAT CONVENIENCE STORE,

NOT A NIGHT GOES BY I
DON'T WAKE UP SCREAMING.

- MY SHRINK WANTS TO SEE
ME THREE TIMES A WEEK.
- YOU DON'T SEE A SHRINK.

SEE HOW CRAZY I
AM? I THOUGHT I DID.

OW!

WHAT? WHAT'S THE
MATTER? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

- WHAT'S THE MATTER?
- THAT SPOT WHERE YOU POINTED
THAT GUN AT MY HEAD.

THERE'S A LOT OF MOISTURE IN THE
AIR. THE MUZZLE MARK STILL HURTS.

SEE? RIGHT HERE. REMEMBER?

YOU SLEAZE.

ALL I'M ASKING IS FOR YOU
TO LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

HOT OFF THE PRESSES...

YOUR TICKET TO GOTHAM, MI AMIGO.

I KNEW YOU'D COME THROUGH.

OKAY, HERE GOES.

"TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN."

NICE TOUCH. DON'T WANT TO
OFFEND ANY WOMEN READERS.

"I'VE KNOWN VINCENT
DELPINO FOR 12 YEARS."

GOOD. GOOD. START
SLOW AND BUILD.

"IN THAT TIME, I'VE KNOWN HIM
TO BE A CONSCIENTIOUS FRIEND

AND HARDWORKING INDIVIDUAL."

WE'RE STILL BUILDING.

"HE HAS UNPROVEN POTENTIAL,

BUT AN APPARENT
WILLINGNESS TO LEARN."

ARE WE DIPPING A LITTLE HERE?

"I'M SURE HE WOULD BE
A REFRESHING ADDITION

TO THE STUDENT BODY
OF YOUR FINE INSTITUTION.

DESPITE HIS ACADEMIC
SHORTCOMINGS... "WHOA!

"HE'S OBEDIENT, LOYAL,
AND TRUSTWORTHY."

WHY DON'T YOU JUST SAY I DON'T
BITE OR LICK MYSELF IN PUBLIC?

(clears throat) "SINCERELY,
DOUGLAS HOWSER, M.D."

WHAT, THAT'S IT? THAT'S
THE BEST YOU COULD DO?

WAIT A MINUTE.
THAT'S A GOOD LETTER.

- I CHOSE THOSE
WORDS CAREFULLY.
- (scoffs)

"DESPITE HIS ACADEMIC
SHORTCOMINGS"?

WHAT, ARE YOU NUTS?

I WAS COVERING FOR THE FACT
THAT YOUR GRADE POINT AVERAGE

IS EQUAL TO THE YEARLY
RAINFALL IN DEATH VALLEY.

- DO YOU WANT
ME TO LIE?
- LIE?

YOU THINK YOU HAVE TO LIE TO
SAY SOMETHING GOOD ABOUT ME?

"LIE" MAY BE THE WRONG WORD.
"EXAGGERATE" WOULD BE BETTER.

WELL, FORGET IT. HERE.

I CAN'T USE THIS.

MAYBE TO GET INTO PRESCHOOL
OR A DANCE CLASS, BUT NOT NYU.

OKAY, OKAY, FINE. GET SOMEBODY
ELSE TO WRITE YOUR STUPID LETTER.

FINE!

- FINE!
- (phone rings)

- (groans)
- (phone rings)

HELLO.

OH, COME ON. THIS
IS GOING TO KILL US.

WHY DOES HE HAVE TO PICK TUESDAY
NIGHT TO ADDRESS THE NATION?

TUESDAY IS OUR BIGGEST NIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL
THINK OF SOMETHING.

I CAN'T PUT FUNNY
AFTER THE PRESIDENT.

- DAMN!
- HEY, TAKE IT EASY.

THAT VEIN IS WORKING
OVERTIME IN YOUR NECK THERE.

SAVE YOURSELF FOR THIS
SCINTILLATING TAPIOCA.

- I CAN'T EAT.
- I'M NOT AN EAVESDROPPING
TYPE OF GUY,

BUT I COULDN'T HELP OVERHEARING,
AND I GOT AN IDEA THAT MIGHT HELP YOU.

JUST HEAR ME OUT.

THE PRESIDENT IS
DULL. AM I RIGHT?

SO WHY IS IT THAT
AFTER HE SPEAKS,

YOU ALWAYS PUT ON FIVE
OTHER DULL GUYS IN BAD SUITS

TALKING ABOUT WHAT THE FIRST
DULL GUY PUT US TO SLEEP WITH?

IT'S CALLED POLITICAL ANALYSIS.

- DON'T YOU HAVE
A CART TO PUSH?
- NO.

NOW,

THE COUNTRY IS NOT ON A ROLL.

THE ECONOMY IS DOWN.
FOREIGN POLICY'S IN TROUBLE.

WE NEED SOMETHING UPLIFTING,

SOMETHING TO REMIND US WHAT A
GREAT COUNTRY THE U.S. OF A. REALLY IS.

ROCKY BALBOA,

THE GREATEST SUCCESS
STORY IN AMERICAN HISTORY.

RUN "ROCKY" RIGHT AFTER
THE PRESIDENT'S SPEECH.

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE, KID,

BUT I'VE GOT PEOPLE WHO DO
RESEARCH AND STUDY DEMOGRAPHICS

TO COME UP WITH
THINGS LIKE THIS.

WELL, I SHOULD KNOW. I'D BE
WATCHING THE ITALIAN STALLION.

NICE TRY, THOUGH.

YEAH, JACK, DO WE STILL
HAVE THE RIGHTS TO "ROCKY"?

IS SOMETHING
BOTHERING YOU, DOOGIE?

NO, NO, NOTHING.

YOU KNOW, (sighs)

YOU TRY AND DO A FAVOR FOR
SOMEBODY, AND LOOK WHAT YOU GET.

I SPENT MY PRECIOUS
TIME AGONIZING OVER

A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
SO VINNIE CAN GET INTO NYU,

AND HE SAYS IT'S NOT GOOD
ENOUGH. WHAT AN INGRATE.

VINNIE'S READY TO GO TO COLLEGE?

THAT KID COULDN'T GET
INTO THE SAN DIEGO ZOO.

IT'LL BE GOOD TO GET RID OF HIM.

IT'S TIME I MADE SOME MORE
MATURE FRIENDS, ANYWAY.

JACK, MEDWAY CAN'T GET MAKE
IT TO THE POKER GAME TONIGHT.

WE'RE GONNA BE SHORT UNLESS
YOU CAN COME UP WITH SOMEBODY.

I PLAY POKER.

YOU WANT TO MAKE NEW
FRIENDS, NOT NEW WIENIES.

DOOG, I DON'T THINK
THIS IS FOR YOU.

- JACK'S RIGHT. - (sighs) SEE?

THERE YOU GO.

I'M OKAY TO REMOVE
A GALL BLADDER WITH,

BUT NOBODY WANTS TO HANG
AROUND WITH ME ON THE OUTSIDE.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

WHO NEEDS IT? I'LL
JUST BE BY MYSELF.

I BETTER GET USED TO IT ANYWAY.

FOUR YEARS COMING
UP WITH NO FRIENDS.

(sighs) JUST ME, MY LAVA
LAMP, MY COMPUTER.

MAYBE I'LL MAKE A PEN PAL.

THERE ARE A LOT OF
LONELY WOMEN IN PRISON.

OKAY. 7:00.

BRING CASH. (laughing)

(continues laughing)

Woman on P.A.: Nurse
Raymond to room 334.

(overlapping dialogue, laughter)

YEAH!

THREE KINGS. (laughing)

- A FLUSH.
- WHAT?

- OH, DAMN!
- THIS HURTS. I AM OUT OF HERE.

- I CANNOT STAND THIS.
- YOU NEVER SHOULD
HAVE BID INTO ME.

THERE WERE 24 CARDS SHOWING,
ONLY SEVEN SPADES OUT.

YOU HAD THREE KINGS UP. JACK
HAD FOLDED THE FOURTH KING.

YOUR OTHER CARD WAS A
10, AND THEY WERE ALL GONE.

SO THERE WAS A BETTER CHANCE OF ME HAVING
A FLUSH THAN YOU HAVING A HIDDEN PAIR.

- RIGHT, I SHOULD
HAVE KNOWN.
- JACK.

- LET'S TAKE A BREAK.
- GOOD IDEA, JACK.

I WANT TO RUMMAGE THROUGH
THE KITCHEN AND SEE IF I CAN FIND

A BLUNT OBJECT TO
KILL HOWSER WITH.

(overlapping dialogue)

- WHOA!
- WAIT A MINUTE!

HUBBA-HUBBA!

(overlapping dialogue)

- KING.
- FULL HOUSE. YEAH!

- AW!
- YEAH!

WHOO! YEAH! GIMME
FIVE, GIMME FIVE.

- I DON'T KNOW, BOB.
- HEY, GUYS.

THE BEST YOU CAN GET.

- OH, CUBAN.
- CLASSIC.

HEY, CUBANS.

- JACK, YOU
SHOULDN'T HAVE.
- I'M GLAD HE DID.

WILL YOU MARRY ME?

IF YOU SHAVE YOUR MUSTACHE.

COME ON, JACK, WHAT ABOUT ME?

GO ON.

COME ON, JACK.

MMM!

- YOU KNOW, A GOOD CIGAR
IS A REAL MAN'S PLEASURE.
- MM-HMM.

GIVE HIM A LIGHT.

(overlapping dialogue, laughter)

(coughing)

(laughter)

- YEAH.
- HE'LL NEED
A DOCTOR NOW.

- (laughter)
- WHAT WAS THAT?

EIGHT-YEAR-OLD KENTUCKY
STRAIGHT BOURBON.

- IT GOES DOWN SMOOTH...
- (retches)

- (all groan)
- OH, GOD! OH, GOD, NO!

OH, HONEY,

WHY'D YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO
BE ONE OF THE GUYS,

MAKE SOME NEW FRIENDS. I
GUESS I WON'T BE ASKED BACK.

YOU TOOK ALL THEIR MONEY
AND PUKED ON THEIR TABLE.

I DON'T THINK THE
INVITATION IS IN THE MAIL.

(sighs) IN SIX MONTHS,

MY ENTIRE SOCIAL WORLD
IS GOING TO BE A FLATLINE.

EVERYONE'S GOING TO COLLEGE.

WANDA'S TALKING ABOUT THIS ART
SCHOOL IN CHICAGO. VINNIE'S GOING TO NYU.

BUT THEY'LL STILL
BE YOU'RE FRIENDS.

YEAH, EXCEPT FOR VINNIE.
WE'RE NOT SPEAKING.

HE SAYS THE LETTER I WROTE HIM
COULDN'T GET HIM INTO A DANCE SCHOOL.

WELL, MAYBE YOUR HEART
WASN'T IN IT 100%, HMM?

REMEMBER HOW IT WAS JUST
BEFORE YOU WENT TO PRINCETON?

A CERTAIN YOUNG
NEXT-DOOR NEIGHBOR...

AN ITALIAN KID, I THINK...

WAS PRETTY BROKEN UP BECAUSE
HIS BEST FRIEND WAS LEAVING.

YOU CAME BACK. SO WILL HE.

YOUR MOTHER'S RIGHT.

VINNIE HAS TO LIVE HIS LIFE, HAVE
EXPERIENCES, JUST LIKE YOU DID.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, DOOGIE?

I'M GOING TO WRITE A
NEW LETTER FOR VINNIE...

RIGHT AFTER I DO
THIS. EXCUSE ME.

SO THE WHOLE STORY
WILL REVOLVE AROUND A KID

WHO WAS A GANGBANGER
UNTIL HE WAS 18.

BUT SUDDENLY, THROUGH A DRAMATIC
CONFRONTATION WITH THE COPS,

HIS WHOLE LIFE TURNS AROUND AND HE
DECIDES TO BECOME A HOSPITAL ORDERLY.

A NO-NONSENSE ORDERLY

WITH A DEDICATION AND
COMPASSION THAT GO BEYOND HIS JOB.

ABSOLUTELY.

NOW, HERE'S THE GRABBER.

THROUGH A FREAK
LABORATORY ACCIDENT,

HE SWALLOWS AN
EXPERIMENTAL DRUG.

IT GIVES HIM SUPERNATURAL POWER.

HE RETURNS TO THE
PROJECTS BY NIGHT

AS CAPTAIN CRIMEBUSTER,

AND HE CLEANS UP HIS
ENTIRE NEIGHBORHOOD.

SO WHAT DO YOU
THINK, MR. EISNER?

- (toilet flushing)
- I THINK I CAN MAKE IT
BACK TO THE BED BY MYSELF.

SURE THING. YOU WANT TO
TAKE A MEETING, GIVE ME A RING.

Woman on P.A.: Dr. George,
you're wanted in Emergency.

Dr. George, you're
wanted in Emergency.

MR. E, YOU DID IT. YOU
PUT "ROCKY" ON LAST NIGHT.

ISN'T THAT A COINCIDENCE?

OUR PROGRAMMING DEPARTMENT
CAME UP WITH THE SAME IDEA YOU HAD.

WE WON THE NATIONALS.

FANTASTIC. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

"ROCKY" BEAT EVERYBODY.

I GUESS THAT REALLY
WAS A GOOD IDEA, HUH?

YEAH. I LIKE YOU, DELPINO.

YOU'RE BRASH. I COULD USE
YOUR SMARTS AND ENERGY.

YOU KNOW, START YOU OFF
SMALL, SEE HOW YOU HANDLE IT.

WHOA, YOU'RE OFFERING ME A JOB?

- YEAH.
- I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT. I DON'T KNOW.

WHERE IS THAT NO-NONSENSE NURSE?

THIS HEAT PACK NEEDS CHANGING.

LOOK, UM, I GOTTA RUN,

BUT I'LL GIVE IT
SOME THOUGHT. I WILL.

- YOU DO THAT.
- Woman on P.A.:
Dr. Ramos, please call...

Woman on P.A.: Housekeeping
needed in room 662.

Housekeeping to
room 662, please.

VINNIE. VINNIE, AM
I GLAD TO SEE YOU.

- DOOG, I DON'T
HAVE TIME.
- NO, LISTEN.

THE REASON I WAS RELUCTANT
TO WRITE THAT LETTER...

FORGET ABOUT THAT.

I WAS DOING IT HALFHEARTEDLY BECAUSE
I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO TO NEW YORK.

- YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.
- YEAH, I LOVE YOU, TOO. LATER.

I FEEL TERRIBLE, LIKE I'M TRYING
TO SABOTAGE YOUR DREAM.

ALL IS FORGIVEN. I GOTTA GO.

ONCE I REALIZED THAT, I SAT
DOWN AND WROTE YOU A NEW ONE.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THAT UNIFORM?
- I CAN EXPLAIN.

- THEN DO IT.
- WELL, REMEMBER
THAT BIGGIE,

THAT GUY WHO COULD
PUT ME OVER THE TOP?

- YOU DIDN'T.
- I DID. I CAN'T.

YOU WILL.

Vinnie: BOTTOM LINE,
I'M A MARGINAL STUDENT,

AND, UH, I THOUGHT

IF I COULD CON YOU OUT OF A
LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION,

IT WOULD DO THE TRICK FOR ME.

SO, UM... I'M APOLOGIZING.

I DON'T REALLY WORK HERE.

WELL, THAT'S GOOD BECAUSE YOU
WERE A VERY ANNOYING ORDERLY.

SO, NOW THAT THAT'S
OUT OF THE WAY,

CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT JOB IN
THE PROGRAMMING DEPARTMENT?

I WAS OFFERING YOU A
JOB IN THE MAIL ROOM.

THE MAIL ROOM?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

HEY, I'M AN ARTIST, A FILMMAKER.

I'M BEYOND TELEVISION, ANYWAY.

IT'S A VAST WASTELAND,
THE BOOB TUBE,

BUBBLE GUM FOR THE MIND.

VIN, I THINK THAT MR. EISNER
GETS THE PICTURE.

LOOK, ABOUT THE LETTER,
WHAT VINNIE DID WAS WRONG,

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO ADMIT IT TOOK
A LOT OF FLAIR AND IMAGINATION

TO GET IN HERE AND SEE YOU,

AND THAT IMAGINATION DOES GO A LONG
WAY IN THE ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY.

YES, HE HAS A FEW QUALITIES

THAT WOULD HELP VERY
MUCH IN MY BUSINESS.

HE IS SLEAZY, SLY,
AND DECEITFUL.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

OKAY. OKAY, I'LL
WRITE YOU A LETTER.

DR. HOWSER

AND MR. DELPINO.

- IS EVERYTHING
ALL RIGHT HERE?
- Doogie: YEAH.

MR. EISNER HAS BEEN KIND
ENOUGH TO WRITE VINNIE

A LETTER OF RECOMMENDATION
FOR FILM SCHOOL. ISN'T THAT GREAT?

YES, GREAT, INDEED.

- THANK YOU
VERY MUCH, MR. EISNER.
- THANK YOU, MR. EISNER.

SO, ACCORDING TO VINNIE'S MOM,

HIS GRANDMOTHER GOT
FED UP WITH NEW YORK

AND SUDDENLY MOVED TO FLORIDA,

AND WITH HER WENT HIS
FREE ROOM AND BOARD.

EVEN IF HE'S ACCEPTED
TO NYU, HE CAN'T GO?

- MMM, THAT'S RIGHT.
- OOH.

I HOPE HE'S NOT
TOO DISAPPOINTED.

ME, TOO.

- GOOD NIGHT, DOOGIE.
- GOOD NIGHT, MOM.

(computer beeps,
keyboard keys clacking)

THIS IS ABSOLUTELY
RIGHTEOUS, MAN.

"A YOUNG MAN WITH AN
EXUBERANCE FOR LIFE

AND A SINGLE DRIVEN PASSION

FOR THE CRAFT OF FILMMAKING."

I LOVE IT.

"IF YOU WANT AN ACADEMICIAN..."

OOH, GOOD WORD...

"WHO GOES BY THE BOOK AND
WILL CARRY ON THE PROVEN WAYS,

VINCENT DELPINO IS NOT YOUR MAN.

BUT IF YOU WANT SOMEONE
WHO CHALLENGES THE BARRIERS,

PUSHES THE LIMITS AND WILL
IMPROVE THE STATE OF THE ART,

HE'S DEFINITELY YOUR MAN."

- I'M MISTING UP HERE, DOOG.
- I BELIEVE IN
THOSE WORDS 100%.

- THAT'S WHY I WROTE 'EM.
- AND THEY'RE GOING
ON MY TOMBSTONE.

DOOGIE, THERE'S SOMETHING

I HAVE TO COP TO HERE.

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU STARTED
TALKING ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP?

WELL, I STARTED
THINKING ABOUT IT, TOO.

SO, UH, I DECIDED TO SHOVE ASIDE

MY SELFISH INTEREST
IN THE BIG APPLE.

I'M NOT GOING TO NYU.

SO, WE CAN STILL
HANG OUT TOGETHER.

SO, OUR FRIENDSHIP IS
WHAT'S KEEPING YOU HERE?

THAT'S RIGHT, DOOG.

YOU'RE MY BEST FRIEND.

I NEED YOU, AND I
KNEW YOU'D MISS ME.

SO, YOU'RE STAYING
HERE JUST FOR ME?

YEAH.

GOSH, VIN, I'M TOUCHED.

- I DON'T KNOW HOW
I'LL MAKE THIS UP TO YOU.
- WHAT DO YOU SAY TO A LOAN?

SAY, 200 BUCKS?

I'LL SAY YOUR GRANDMOTHER
MOVED TO FLORIDA.

YOUR MOM TOLD MY MOM.

YOU KNOW, THE DELPINOS
HAVE BIG MOUTHS.

YES, AND YOU'RE A DELPINO
THROUGH AND THROUGH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

- GOOD NIGHT.
- GOOD NIGHT.

(beeps)

(theme music playing)

(orchestra playing
Vivaldi's "Four Seasons")

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