Doogie Howser, M.D. (1989–1993): Season 1, Episode 14 - Greed Is Good - full transcript

Doogie goes on a game-show for geniuses only to have everyone wanting a piece of the prizes. At the hospital, he treats an ex-boxer with symptoms of glaucoma.

Announcer: WELCOME TO "HIGH
I.Q."! THE GAME SHOW FOR GENIUSES.

TODAY WE START A BRAND-NEW
GAME WITH SIX CONTESTANTS.

BY FRIDAY WE'LL BE DOWN TO TWO,

BUT ONLY ONE CAN BE OUR WINNER,

TAKING HOME OVER
$100,000 IN CASH AND PRIZES.

AND NOW HERE'S YOUR
HOST MARK MERSIN.

Mark: WELCOME TO "HIGH
I.Q." THE SHOW FOR GENIUSES.

WE'RE BACK WITH A NEW
SET OF CONTESTANTS,

SO LET'S MEET THEM NOW.

SHE'S SINGLE. SHE REALLY
IS A ROCKET SCIENTIST.

HER HOBBIES ARE CALCULUS
AND PRE-BYZANTINE FOLK DANCING.



LET'S WELCOME VICKI RAUSEO.

- HOW SMART CAN SHE BE?
- OUR SECOND CONTESTANT

WORKS IN THE ARTIFICIAL
INTELLIGENCE LAB AT M.I.T.

IN HIS SPARE TIME HE'S AN
ANTHROPOLOGIST AND A LOVER OF SNAKES...

HOW DID I EVER LET
YOU TALK ME INTO THIS?

DOOG, THIS IS A GAME
FOR GENIUSES, RIGHT?

NOBODY'S SMARTER
THAN YOU. IT'S A LOCK.

YOU ARE GOING TO WIN
$100,000 IN CASH AND PRIZES.

GET REAL.

SCRAM, DINK. YOU
BOTHER MY BOY HERE,

I'LL HAVE YOU
SURGICALLY REMOVED.

I'M SHAKING IN MY KEDS.

Mark: IN HIS FRESHMAN YEAR
AT YALE, KEVIN WALTERS.

OUR LAST CONTESTANT
GRADUATED COLLEGE AT 10.



- AT 16, HE'S DOCTOR...
- I'M NOT GOING THROUGH
WITH THIS. I CAN'T.

- YOU CAN.
- LET'S WELCOME
DOUGLAS HOWSER.

- I CAN'T.
- YOU CAN!

WH... WHOA!

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Mark: FROM THE
CATEGORY OF PHILOSOPHY.

WHO WAS NICKNAMED THE
DOG PHILOSOPHER AND WHY?

KEVIN?

DIOGENES. HE WOULD BARK AND BITE PEOPLE
BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THEY WERE STUPID.

CORRECT. MUSIC.

IDENTIFY THE FOLLOWING PIECE BY
NAME, COMPOSER AND MOVEMENT.

- SEAN?
- DVORAK, CONCERTO
FOR CELLO AND ORCHESTRA

IN D MINOR ADAGIO...

I'M SORRY. THAT'S... KEVIN.

DVORAK. CONCERTO FOR CELLO
AND ORCHESTRA IN B MINOR.

- SECOND MOVEMENT.
- THAT IS CORRECT.

PSYCHOLOGY.

THE TERM "MANIA" IS
DEFINED AS... DOUGLAS.

MANIA IS DEFINED AS
IMPULSIVE, ABNORMAL

OR VIOLENT BEHAVIOR.

CORRECT. THAT MEANS,
KEVIN, YOU'RE IN THE LEAD

AND SEAN AND DOUGLAS
ARE TIED FOR SECOND.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK AFTER
THIS COMMERCIAL BREAK.

AND WE'RE OUT.

ACTUALLY THIS IS KIND
OF FUN, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, I REALLY
DON'T CARE IF I WIN.

GOOD. 'CAUSE YOU
WON'T, EGG BRAIN.

OUR NEXT PATIENT
CAME IN THIS MORNING

COMPLAINING OF DECREASED
VISION. OPHTHALMOLOGY

DID A TONOMETRY
AND VISUAL FIELDS.

AND HE'S SCHEDULED TO HAVE HIS OPTIC
NERVE PHOTOGRAPHED THIS AFTERNOON.

- AND NOW LET'S MEET THE PATIENT...
- JOE. E DUNN.

HI, MR. DUNN.

HEY, I JUST SAW YOU
ON THAT GAME SHOW.

YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO BE SO SMART.

- GAME SHOW?
- NOT "HIGH I.Q."?

WON A FREE VACATION TO HAWAII.

ACTUALLY, I DON'T WIN ANYTHING
UNLESS I GO ALL THE WAY.

MR. DUNN, MY NAME
IS BENJAMIN CANFIELD.

I'M CHIEF OF SERVICES
HERE AT EASTMAN,

AND I JUST WANTED TO SHAKE THE HAND OF
THE MAN WHO KNOCKED OUT JAKE LAMOTTA.

WELL, THAT'S VERY
KIND OF YOU, SIR.

BUT IF YOU WANT TO
SHAKE SOMEONE'S HAND

SHAKE THIS YOUNG BOY'S.

HE'S GOING TO WIN
ALL THOSE PRIZES.

DR. HOWSER'S ON "HIGH I.Q."

I GOT ROPED INTO IT.

THAT'S NICE.

I JUST HAVE TO SAY

MY FATHER TOOK ME TO SEE YOU
FIGHT SUGAR RAY AT THE OLD GARDEN.

YOU HAD A VICIOUS LEFT JAB.

I DID, SIR. THANK YOU.

I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS A FIGHTER.

JOE E. DUNN WASN'T
JUST A FIGHTER,

HE WAS AN ARTIST.

HE SHOULD HAVE WON THE
MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP IN '57.

- WHAT HAPPENED?
- WESTON GOT THE DECISION.

IT WAS A LONG COUNT.
JOE KNOCKED HIM OUT.

BUT THE REF DIDN'T START
COUNTING FOR FOUR SECONDS.

WESTON GOT UP AT NINE AND
WON A DISPUTED SPLIT DECISION.

BUT IF HE KNOCKED HIM OUT...

RUMOR WAS THE FIX WAS IN.

SO, DR. HOWSER, IF THEY
ASK YOU ON THAT GAME SHOW

WHO WAS THE MIDDLEWEIGHT
CHAMPION OF '57,

THE CORRECT
ANSWER IS LOU WESTON.

THE RIGHT ANSWER IS JOE E. DUNN.

- Mark: Douglas?
- Theta radiation.

It's high-energy electrons
carrying a negative charge

- sent out
by radioactive nuclei.
- That is correct.

I'M GETTING EXCITED
ALL OVER AGAIN.

Mark: Well, that means, Douglas,
you are in the lead once again.

Let's take a quick commercial
break. We'll be right back.

IS THIS BOY CLEANING UP OR WHAT?

IF I MAKE IT TO THE FINAL ROUND.

- I COULD GET
ELIMINATED TOMORROW.
- NO WAY.

YOU'RE GONNA WIN IT ALL.
100,000 BUCKS WORTH OF PRIZES.

FRANKLY, VINCENT, IF
DOUGLAS WANTS TO PARTICIPATE

FOR THE SHEER
JOY OF COMPETITION,

THAT'S COMMENDABLE.

BUT TEMPT PEOPLE WITH FREE
PRIZES AND THEY BECOME GREEDY.

AND NOTHING BRINGS OUT THE WORST
IN PEOPLE MORE THAN GREED, MY FRIEND.

- ISN'T THAT RIGHT, DEAR?
- LIGHTEN UP, DAVID.

NOW, OF COURSE, I
WANT THE MICROWAVE.

BUT WE HAVE TO GIVE AUNT
HELEN THE WASHER/DRYER.

Announcer: the one
everyone wants... Mark.

- GO ON.
- Doogie: VINNIE,
THIS IS STUPID.

NO, IT'S NOT! I READ THAT CHESS
PLAYERS MEMORIZE THE PHONE BOOK

TO HELP THEIR CONCENTRATION.

SO GO ON, WHAT'S
THE NEXT SECTION?

SMILES, SMILEY, SMILOW,

SMITH, SMITH, SMITH.

- SMITH, SMITH...
- OKAY, YOU GOT THAT PART.

UH, YOU NEED A BACK
RUB TO HELP LOOSEN UP?

- OR HOW ABOUT
SOMETHING TO EAT?
- NO. THANKS, VINNIE.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY APPRECIATE
EVERYTHING YOU'RE DOING.

HEY, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

FRIENDS WHO ARE THERE
FOR YOU ALL THE TIME,

FRIENDS WHO ALWAYS
STOOD UP FOR YOU.

- FRIENDS...
- WHAT DO YOU WANT?

THE NEW SKIS AND
THE C.D. PLAYER.

FINE.

I HEAR THE PRIZES GET
MORE INTENSE FROM NOW ON.

A WEEK IN THE CARIBBEAN, A
BOAT, A B.M.W... CONVERTIBLE.

WAH!

- WHAT IF I DO WIN?
- WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF? YOU WILL WIN.

OKAY, WHAT ABOUT
THAT LITTLE ROTTEN KID?

HE IS ARROGANT,
HE IS OBNOXIOUS...

- SOUNDS LIKE SOMEONE
I USED TO KNOW.
- HEY.

OOFTA!

AND SUGAR RAY, THERE WASN'T
NOTHING SWEET ABOUT HIM.

I CAN STILL FEEL HIS LEFT.

DR. HOWSER.

- HI, MR. DUNN.
- YOU WON AGAIN.

YOU'RE GONNA GO
ALL THE WAY, SON.

YEAH, MAYBE.

SO, LET'S HEAR IT.

YOU HAVE WHAT'S CALLED
ANGLE RECESSION GLAUCOMA.

THAT DOESN'T SOUND
LIKE GOOD NEWS.

THE REASON YOU'RE
HAVING TROUBLE SEEING

IS BECAUSE THE FLUID IN YOUR
EYES ISN'T DRAINING PROPERLY.

THERE'S A PRESSURE THAT
WE'VE GOT TO TRY TO RELIEVE.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I GET FOR
LETTING SLAPSIE MAXIE GO FOR MY FACE.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE
COME INSIDE ON HIM.

WE'LL START YOU ON A
SHORT-TERM PROGRAM OF EYE-DROPS

AND SEE IF THERE'S ANY
RESPONSE BY FRIDAY.

IF NOT, THERE ARE SEVERAL
ALTERNATIVES WE CAN TALK ABOUT.

HEY, I'M A FIGHTER.

I ONLY KNOW WINNING AND LOSING.

IF YOU DON'T RESPOND
TO ANY OF THE TREATMENTS

EVENTUALLY THERE COULD
BE A TOTAL LOSS OF EYESIGHT.

WELL, JUST TELL ME
WHAT I HAVE TO DO.

AND SAY, KEEP ON WINNING.

EVERYBODY LOVES A WINNER.

WELCOME BACK TO THIS WEEK'S
THIRD ROUND OF "HIGH I.Q."

LET'S GREET OUR FOUR
REMAINING CONTESTANTS...

VICKY RAUSEO, SEAN LICHT, KEVIN
WALTERS AND DOUGLAS HOWSER.

WELL, DOUGLAS, SO FAR
YOU'RE OUR BIG WINNER

- WITH $32,840
WORTH OF PRIZES.
- THANK YOU.

LET'S MOVE RIGHT ON
TO THE FIRST ROUND.

THE CATEGORIES FOR
TODAY ARE WORLD WAR I,

ZOOLOGY, MODERN ART, RELIGION,

CHINESE LITERATURE AND
POLITICAL HISTORY. RELIGION.

THIS RELIGION WAS KNOWN AS

THE PURITANICAL ISLAMIC
REFORM MOVEMENT

BEGUN IN ARABIA IN
THE MID-18th CENTURY.

SEAN.

- WAHABI.
- CORRECT.

CHINESE LITERATURE. WHAT ARE THE FIVE
CLASSICS OF EARLY CHINESE LITERATURE?

- VICKI.
- I CHING, BOOK
OF DOCUMENTS, BOOK OF ODES,

RITUAL PRESCRIPTIONS...

OH, I DON'T HAVE IT.

DOUGLAS.

I CHING, BOOK OF
DOCUMENTS, BOOK OF ODES,

RITUAL PRESCRIPTIONS...

BOY. NO. YEAH.

AND AUTUMN ANNUALS.

YOU ARE CORRECT.

AND THAT BELL MEANS YOU'VE
ALSO ANSWERED A BONUS QUESTION.

LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE WON.

Announcer: You've
won a double strand

of matinee-length
cultured pearls,

with a rose cast,
extremely high luster,

- valued at $1,500.
- BOY, CAN SHE ACT.

We'll be right back
after these messages.

HI, HONEY.

- YOU WERE
WONDERFUL, DOOGIE.
- THANKS.

- AND THOSE PEARLS.
- YEAH, THEY'RE NEAT.

THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL.

THEY'RE YOURS.

OOH, I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

AND THOSE PEARLS ARE
ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS.

I'LL JUST HAVE TO BUY A
NEW DRESS TO MATCH THEM.

Mark: VLADIMIR LENIN
WAS A PSEUDONYM.

HIS REAL NAME WAS?

- DOUGLAS.
- VLADIMIR ILYICH...

ULYANOV.

CORRECT. AND NOW, DOUGLAS,
YOU'RE IN SECOND PLACE.

UNDER THE CATEGORY
OF EARTH SCIENCES.

WHAT IS THE RANGE OF
TEMPERATURE IN THE THERMOSPHERE?

KEVIN.

ALL RIGHT, THAT
MEANS OUR TIME IS UP.

KEVIN, IF YOU GET THIS RIGHT
THAT WILL PUT YOU IN SECOND PLACE,

WHICH MEANS YOU WILL RETURN TOMORROW
TO PLAY OUR FINAL ROUND OF "HIGH I.Q."

AGAINST OUR LEADER SEAN.

IF YOU LOSE THIS POINT,
DOUGLAS, YOU WILL COME BACK.

SO I'LL ASK THE QUESTION AGAIN.

WHAT IS THE RANGE OF
TEMPERATURE OF THE THERMOSPHERE?

+400... NO.

-50 TO +927 CELSIUS.

I'M SORRY. IT'S -80
TO +927 CELSIUS.

- I LOST?
- WHICH MEANS, DOUGLAS,
YOU AND SEAN WILL...

- TO THAT EGGHEAD? WHAT ABOUT MY PRIZES?
- RETURN FOR OUR FINAL ROUND

WHEN ONE OF THESE TWO CONTESTANTS
WILL TAKE HOME $100,000 IN PRIZES.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT
BEING A GOOD SPORT!

I DON'T HAVE TO BE! I'M 11!

- Mark: SO JOIN US TOMORROW...
- I HATE YOU!

- WHEN THESE TWO GENIUSES
MATCH WITS ON "HIGH I.Q."
- I HATE THIS MUSIC.

I HATE THIS SHOW.

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYONE.

WHOA!

MOM'S BEEN MAKING ME
EAT ALL THIS HEALTHY STUFF.

IT'S KILLING MY CONCENTRATION.

- YOU COULDN'T SLEEP?
- NOPE.

NEITHER COULD I.

I GUESS I'M NERVOUS
ABOUT THE SHOW TOMORROW.

I SUPPOSE I'M A BIT
ANXIOUS ABOUT IT MYSELF.

THOSE ARE GREAT WITH
PEANUT BUTTER ON THEM.

- MM.
- YEAH?

MM. ANYTHING I
CAN HELP YOU WITH?

NO. THANKS.

I WAS ANALYZING THE PATTERN OF
THE QUESTIONS THEY'VE BEEN ASKING

AND I THINK I'VE
BROKEN THE SYSTEM.

IF I'M RIGHT, TOMORROW THEY
SHOULD ASK ABOUT 16th-CENTURY MATH.

ARE YOU GONNA READ ALL OF THIS?

I COULD RECITE IT.

SON, THIS IS ALL SUPPOSED TO
BE A LOT OF FUN, NOTHING MORE.

YOU KNOW, THE TRUTH IS

WHETHER YOU WIN OR
LOSE, IT'S IRRELEVANT.

I KNOW, I JUST...

- I WANT THAT BOAT.
- I WANT THAT CAR.

- WIN THAT GAME, SON.
- I WILL, DAD.

FREEMAN'S SICK! WHICH
MEANS I'M ON DUTY TILL 6:00

AND I'VE GOT TO BE
AT THE STUDIO BY 3:00.

CAN SOMEONE WORK
MY SHIFT, PLEASE?

- Jack: NO WAY.
- COME ON, I'VE GOT
TO GET OFF.

I'LL GIVE MY HAWAIIAN
VACATION IN EXCHANGE.

- NOW YOU'RE TALKING.
- Jack: HEY!

HE ASKED ME FIRST
SO I'LL TAKE HIS SHIFT.

DOOGIE, I'LL TAKE YOUR SHIFT AND I'LL WORK
YOUR BIRTHDAY FOR THE NEXT TWO YEARS.

DOOGIE, I'LL WORK EVERY
CHRISTMAS FOR YOU.

I'LL SEE THAT, AND I'LL THROW IN
THANKSGIVING, NEW YEARS AND EASTER.

I CAN'T TAKE YOUR SHIFT FOR YOU BUT
LET ME LEAVE YOU WITH THIS THOUGHT:

I HAVE A STRING BIKINI
WHICH FITS IN HERE.

- Jack: UNFAIR!
- Doctor: COME ON, DOOG.

I'LL MAKE IT EASY ON YOU, DOCTOR.
YOU MAY HAVE THE AFTERNOON OFF.

- THANKS FOR BAILING ME OUT.
- OF COURSE, DOUGLAS.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE THE
WAY THEY WERE ALL ACTING.

HUMAN NATURE BEING WHAT
IT IS, IT WAS PREDICTABLE.

I COULD HAVE GOTTEN
THEM TO DO ANYTHING.

WELL, THEY'RE
OVERWORKED, EXHAUSTED,

IN DESPERATE NEED OF A VACATION.

I GUESS I UNDERSTAND THAT.

I SUPPOSE IT'S BECAUSE

I, TOO, HAVEN'T BEEN ON A
VACATION IN SUCH A VERY LONG...

LONG TIME.

I GUESS WHAT I NEED IS
TO GET AWAY SOMEPLACE...

TROPICAL.

Dr. Bletham, call your office.
Dr. Bletham, call your office.

SO TELL ME SOMETHING GOOD, SON.

Doogie: I WISH I COULD.

BUT I JUST FINISHED DISCUSSING
YOUR CASE WITH THE OPHTHALMOLOGIST.

I'M AFRAID THE
TREATMENT ISN'T WORKING.

THAT CAN'T BE THE GOOD PART.

WE'LL HAVE TO DISCUSS
OTHER ALTERNATIVES.

LET'S TALK REAL.

WHAT ARE MY CHANCES
OF SEEING A LITTLE BETTER?

THAT'S ALL I WANT.
JUST A LITTLE BETTER.

I'M AFRAID YOUR VISION
WON'T GET ANY BETTER.

THERE'S ALWAYS THE POSSIBILITY
THAT A DIFFERENT TREATMENT

COULD ARREST THE CONDITION.

LOOK, I'LL MAKE SURE WE
EXHAUST EVERY POSSIBILITY.

I NEVER LOST A FIGHT
I DIDN'T TRY TO WIN.

AND I EVEN LOST A
FEW I KNEW I WON.

YEAH, CANFIELD SAID

THEY CHEATED YOU OUT
OF THE CHAMPIONSHIP IN '57.

I BELIEVE THEY DID.

I COULDN'T HAVE HANDLED THAT.

DIDN'T YOU JUST WANT
TO KILL SOMEBODY?

LIFE IS WHAT IT IS. BUT
THAT DOESN'T MEAN

THAT I DIDN'T PUT MY FIST THROUGH
THE WALL WHEN IT HAPPENED.

BUT I KNEW IN MY HEART
WHEN I LEFT THAT RING

THAT I HAD WON.

BUT AFTER THE FAME
IS GONE AND THE MONEY,

THE ONLY THING YOU'VE GOT,
THE ONLY THING THAT COUNTS,

IS WHAT YOU KNOW IN YOUR HEART.

HMM.

Stage manager: ONE
MINUTE, EVERYONE.

I GUESS THIS IS IT.

A BRILLIANT DEDUCTION.

OH, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
ALLOWED TO SMOKE IN HERE.

I ALWAYS LIKE A CIGARETTE
BEFORE A VICTORY.

- HEY, I MIGHT WIN.
- YEAH, RIGHT.

LOOK, KID, I'VE SEEN
YOUR SO-CALLED FRIENDS

AND EVERY ONE OF THEM
HAS GOT THEIR HAND OUT.

BY THE TIME THEY'RE FINISHED
DIVVYING UP THE SPOILS

ALL YOU'RE GONNA SEE OUT
OF THIS IS A BIG FAT TAX BILL.

AM I RIGHT?

WHAT IF YOU WIN? AREN'T YOU
GOING TO HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM?

- I DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.
- 30 SECONDS, PEOPLE, PLACES.

LET'S GO, OKAY?

TAKE IT FROM ME,
KID, PEOPLE SUCK.

- Mark: SEAN.
- JAMES WATSON
AND FRANCIS CRICK.

THEY FIRST DISCOVERED
THE DOUBLE HELIX OF D.N.A.

CORRECT. NOW THE SCORE IS EVEN.

FROM THE CATEGORY OF LATIN.

WHAT IS THE ENGLISH
TRANSLATION FOR ABSILIO?

- SEAN?
- TO LEAP OR FLY AWAY FROM.

CORRECT. AND THAT MEANS,
SEAN, YOU'RE IN THE LEAD.

THAT BELL MEANS THIS
IS OUR LAST QUESTION.

SEAN, BECAUSE YOU'RE IN THE LEAD

YOU WILL HAVE THE FIRST CHANCE.

IF YOU ARE CORRECT YOU
WILL BE OUR CHAMPION.

IF YOU GET IT WRONG DOUGLAS
WILL HAVE A CHANCE TO ANSWER IT.

I'LL READ A QUESTION FROM
THE CATEGORY OF MATHEMATICS.

IN 1945 CARDAN PUBLISHED

HIS FORMULA FOR THE
SOLUTION OF THE CUBIC EQUATION.

IN REALITY HE STOLE THIS FORMULA
FROM WHAT 16th-CENTURY MATHEMATICIAN?

DESCARTES?

I'M SORRY. THAT'S INCORRECT.

- YES!
- Mark: ALL RIGHT,
DOUGLAS,

IF YOU ANSWER INCORRECTLY
SEAN WILL BE OUR CHAMPION.

BUT IF YOU ANSWER CORRECTLY YOU
WILL WIN THE C.D. PLAYER FOR THE HOUSE

AND ONE FOR THE CAR, A
DOUBLE STRAND OF FINE PEARLS,

A SET OF SKIS, BOOTS, POLES,
AND A COMPLETE SKIING WARDROBE,

THE WASHER/DRYER,

A COMPLETELY NEW KITCHEN,
A HAWAIIAN VACATION FOR TWO,

A CRUISE AROUND THE WORLD
WITH $10,000 SPENDING MONEY,

A BRAND NEW B.M.W. CONVERTIBLE

AND A BERMUDA 40 SAILING YACHT.

DOUGLAS, FOR THE CHAMPIONSHIP.

IN 1945 CARDAN
PUBLISHED HIS FORMULA

FOR THE SOLUTION OF
THE CUBIC EQUATION.

IN REALITY, HE
STOLE THIS FORMULA

FROM WHAT 16th-CENTURY
MATHEMATICIAN?

MENDELSOHN.

I'M SORRY, THAT'S INCORRECT.

THE CORRECT ANSWER IS TARTAGLIA.

WHICH MEANS SEAN
IS OUR CHAMPION.

AND YOU HAVE WON OVER
$100,000 IN CASH AND PRIZES.

YEAH!

CONSOLATION PRIZE.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG, SON.

BUT YOU KNEW THE ANSWER
TO THAT QUESTION, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH.

THEN I'M NOT QUITE SURE

WHY YOU LOST.

I DIDN'T LOSE.

SEE, IN MY HEART I KNOW I WON.

WHEN EVERYBODY
HAD THEIR HAND OUT, I...

I GUESS I JUST DIDN'T
WANT TO DEAL WITH IT.

WELL, I'M ASHAMED TO ADMIT IT

BUT I SUPPOSE I GOT
CAUGHT UP IN THE GREED.

IT DOES TERRIBLE THINGS TO YOU.

I HATED THE FEELINGS
I WAS HAVING.

I'M SORRY. I KNOW YOU
WANTED THAT BOAT.

EHH, WHEN YOU
GRADUATED COLLEGE AT 10

AND THEY HAD YOU
STAND ON THE PHONE BOOK

BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO
SHORT FOR THE PODIUM,

I THOUGHT NOTHING
COULD IMPRESS ME MORE

UNTIL NOW.

WHY?

YOU HAVE HANDLED YOURSELF
WITH SUCH RARE DISTINCTION.

THAT IS A FAR, FAR BETTER PRIZE

THAN ANY BOAT YOU COULD GIVE ME.

GOOD NIGHT, SON.

GOOD NIGHT.

IT WAS A VERY BEAUTIFUL BOAT.

- IT WAS
A VERY BEAUTIFUL CAR.
- OH, YOU HEARD.

YOU BLEW $100,000
IN PRIZES AND CASH!

VINNIE, WE WERE
ALL GETTING GREEDY.

GREED IS GOOD. MICHAEL
DOUGLAS SAID SO IN "WALL STREET."

WELL, IT DIDN'T MAKE
ME FEEL SO GOOD.

LOOK, I ADMIT I GOT
CAUGHT UP IN IT.

BUT WHEN YOU WERE WINNING I FELT
LIKE A WINNER TOO. THAT WAS NICE.

IT WAS, BUT IT WAS
GETTING OUT OF HAND.

I GUESS YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE WERE ALL GETTING GREEDY.

BUT COULDN'T WE HAVE LAMENTED
WITH THE TOP DOWN IN YOUR NEW B.M.W.?

VINNIE.

ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT.

AND IF YOU'RE MAN ENOUGH
TO FACE THIS, SO AM I.

THIS IS THE SORT OF THING WE'LL LOOK
BACK ON ONE DAY WHEN WE'RE OLD MEN,

30, AND WE'LL LAUGH.

A CONVERTIBLE!

- A SKI TRIP, A BOAT.
- GOOD NIGHT, VINNIE.