Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 2, Episode 5 - Message in a Bottle Show - full transcript

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

♪

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong

♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪



♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma

♪

DK: Yes,
sirree, little buddy.

What could be better
than a day of fishing?

How about
actually catching a fish?

Whoa, I"ve got something.

It"s a big one.

It"s a... Whoa!

[Crashing]

Bottle.

I already caught my limit of

bottles for today.

It"s got something inside.



A message.

DK, it"s for you!

Really?

"On behalf of the Federation of

Future Rulers, you, Donkey Kong,

have been elected future ruler

of all Future Rulers.

We would like you to report for

your five-year term at head

office tomorrow."

Tomorrow?

Diddy,
they want me to leave Kongo Bongo!

Jeepin" jungleberries!

CRANKY: Donkey Kong, I

might"ve known you'd be wasting

time instead of...

DK: Cranky, look what I got.

I see.

It"s a real honour, DK.

When the Federation of Future

Rulers calls, you gotta answer.

I do?

This is good news!

And there"s even more!

Every time a future ruler

leaves for a big promotion, he

gets a farewell banquet.

Really?

How often does this happen?

You"re the first.

Get ready to be humbled and

embarrassed, big buddy.

Why, is there food on my face?

No, DK.

It"s showtime!

[Clapping]

I guess we all know
why we"re here today.

You said there were fireworks,
Dids.

You bribed me.

Free food!

Today we"re bidding the big

adios to one of our own, which

reminds me of a story.

[Booing]

Sheesh, just trying to warm up

the crowd here.

We"re warm enough, now sit down!

Okay.

Well, between you and me, our

first speaker leaves
me a little cold.

[Chuckling]

Please welcome Eddie
the Mean Old Yeti!

[Clapping]

Eddie say, Donkey Kong cool,

and Eddie the Yeti
know from cool.

[Crowd laughing]

Hey, how"d he get laughs?

I"m dying out there.

Eddie the Yeti and I had lots

of laughs together.

Right, Ed?

I remember... [Laughing]

Me Eddie the Mean Old Yeti.

Me cranky.

[Shouting]

What?

Got ya!

No charge for delivery.

BLUSTER: Lunch break is over,

it"s time to get to work.

Well,
maybe not that many laughs.

Bye bye, monkey.

Eddie sadder than when he had

bad case of freezer burn.

And now, I give you my good

friend Funky.

Donkey dude, our karma has

collided and our vibes have

always twanged on
the same wavelength.

CROWD: Huh?

I think he"s saying that

we"ve been through
a lot together.

[Screaming]

DIDDY: There it is!

Yeah, I see it!

Cool, I"ll splash you down

right next to the ship.

[Screaming]

Bummer.

Ride that curve!

Whoa, bananas overboard!

DIDDY: We"re
flying upside down!

Chill, Phil.

[Screaming]

Whoa, surf"s up, dude!

DIDDY: Duck!

Don"t stop!

Keep moving!

Let your body do the brainwork!

Whoa,
looking like roadkill now, baby.

At least, that"s what I

thought he said.

You read me like... like a

runaway wave, Donkey dude.

Like I always say...

The karmic tide is high, dude.

The cosmos is singin" and good

vibes are frequent to the max!

Oh, yeah!

♪ Kick back and
have a zone out ♪

♪ Copasetic glide-by leaving

you with no doubt ♪

♪ No need to wig, you dig?

♪ It"s a hardcore, full-tilt

chillable gig ♪

♪ My body"s in sync, my mind is

on auto-cruise ♪

♪ Now, all I got to do is tune

into my inner voice ♪

♪ All those negative
vibes burn me out ♪

♪ So, I decided to just chill

and clock some zees ♪

♪ Everything was copasetic

♪ And I thought I"d try a little

barrel roll ♪

♪ And out rolled
the barrel Heavy.

♪ What goes around
comes around ♪

♪ You better flex
and move to correct ♪

♪ Or I"m bettin'
you are regrettin" ♪

♪ I have cosmic jurisdiction

to assign mantras ♪

♪ But before I can do that

♪ You dudes"ll need a major

cosmic cleansing ♪

♪ And total clearing
of the chakras ♪

♪ The babes went cruisin" with

what you"re losin' from the

second you made the scene ♪

Gee, Funky, I"m touched.

Unless I should be insulted.

[Laughing]

[Clapping]

DIDDY: Our next speaker needs

no introduction other than the

words "Show me the mummsy."

[Chuckling]

I... I mean "money."

Sorry, Bluster.

Yes, I"m rich and powerful

and handsome, it"s true.

And yet, I wonder where I"d be

without my friend Donkey Kong.

It"s obvious you need my

big-business knowhow to make

your little Coconut Chill

operation a real success.

You can"t paddle the canoe

halfway, you can"t go up the

stairs without coming back down.

DIDDY: What?

The bigger you think, the

bigger big shot you become, and

the more you"ll impress Candy.

Oh, Candy!

Oh, look, it"s Donkey Kong,

this year"s poster
boy for lame ideas.

I"m the boss,
and the boss says...

♪ Ninety-one banana
bunches on the wall ♪

♪ 91 banana bunches Help!

Help!

[Chuckling]

In any event, Donkey Kong,

I"d like to think that when

you"re gone I can, in some small

way, fill your shoes.

I am a remarkable specimen.

Candy, Candy, Candy!

Who"s the handsomest, bravest

ape on all of Kongo Bongo?

That"s easy, I go out with him!

It"s Donkey Kong!

What"s he got that I don't?

I"ve got a barrel factory, I've

got a... barrel factory.

Bluster!

BLUSTER: Hey,
Candy, what do you say?

Huh?

[Screaming]

Yeah, baby, take a good look.

So, will you go out with me now?

Now, how do I get you to tell

me how to get Candy to love me?

A love potion?

One pinch of banana root sent

straight from my heart.

I"m offering you the

opportunity of a lifetime,

the opportunity to become Mrs.

Bluster the Benevolent.

Rejected.

Watching my figure.

Don"t bother,
I'm watching it for ya.

Hey!

She"s the gorilla of my dreams.

If only I could get
her away from...

What do you see
in this big hairy ape?

Well,
he"s... uh... well... >> Yes?

Well,
he"s... he's a big hairy ape!

And you"re not!

Ouch.

That"s better.

That was my flashback!

How"d he do that?

Hey, Diddy, is it my turn yet?

Well, this is where I was

gonna do my
musical tribute to DK...

[Booing]

But that can wait.

I give you, Miss Candy Kong.

[Whistling]

Poor kid,
she"s gonna really miss me.

Donkey Kong, I"d just like to

say that you"re appointment as

future ruler of the
Future Rulers is...

Here it comes.

CANDY: The best thing that

could ever of happened to you.

Huh?

Come on, Candy,
you"ll miss my kisses.

Figures this is
where I"d find ya.

Cranky!

You"ll always
be my coconut chill.

CRANKY: Well, at least we

know the Crystal Coconut is

safe for a week or two.

How do you know that, Cranky?

You know, I really liked your

song, Donkey Kong.

Yeah?

Well,
there"s a whole lot more verses.

Wanna hear "em, Candy?

CANDY: Later.

Right now... >> BLUSTER: No!

Hey!

Fear not, Donkey Kong,
I"ll save you.

Pucker up, big boy, and let"s

seal it with a... >>
No time for any of that

hoochie-coochie-smoochie stuff.

BOTH: Cranky!

You know the drill.

But I... >> The
only "butt" is the one

you"re getting over to my place.

Now!

[Clapping]

That"s not gonna
happen this time.

ROOL: What"s
the meaning of this?

DK: King K. Rool?

How dare you have a

going-away party for Donkey Kong

and not invite moi.

I demand to be
part of this banquet.

Well, it is a party.

Sure, you can come,
if you behave.

DIDDY: And now,
our next speaker is...

Bananas?

Is that all there is to eat?

No loot bags?

Excuse me, but if you don"t

have anything to add
to the proceedings...

Well, if that"s the case,

then permission to speak openly?

DIDDY: But... but...

KLUMP: Forward, march.

DIDDY: Hey!

Like I always say, what"s a

soldier without an enemy?

You, sir,
were... were... [Screaming]

One and two... >> And?

CROCS: Run for our lives!

[Shouting]

[Screaming]

[Screaming]

Wait till King K. Rool hears

how successful our mission was.

DK: Making tracks,
coming through.

Two apes flying around together?

Another one dropping
out of the trees?

Well,
this could only mean... Something.

DK: K. Rool.

[Laughing]

[Sobbing]

KLUMP: I miss him already.

ROOL: A little dignity,
soldier.

And now, my turn.

What words to use to describe

how I feel about Donkey Kong.

[Screaming]

If that yellow-bellied

Neanderthal Donkey Kong doesn"t

show up, then I win by default.

DK: Banana slamma!

Okay, lizards...

ROOL: Is that Donkey Kong?

DK: Banana slamma!

Oh, great.

What is your plan, Klump?

Uh... plan?

A plan to get that Crystal

Coconut away from those banana-

munching mammals.

[Whooping]

[Hysterical laughing]

Hey!

With Donkey Kong gone, well,

I"ll probably retire myself...

After I"ve done one or two

things I"ve always
meant to get around to.

Do you realize the things I

could do with the Crystal

Coconut in one hand and the

Golden Banana in the other?

Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme.

Give me that
beautiful orb of power.

The Crystal Coconut!

Oh, splendid orb of power, you

little beauty!

This is a very unconventional

way to invade enemy territory.

Eep.

[Screaming]

One... more... >> Ah, yes.

Finally, mine.

I win.

I win!

Nice to be winners for once.

DK: Banana slamma!

What?

No!

[Screaming]

[Yelling]

We bad guys never get a break.

No harm, no foul.

Let"s call it a day.

Hm, what do you say?

Banana slamma!

Under attack, take cover!

Attack the other way!

Don"t just stand there, Klump!

No longer standing, sir!

I"ll be back.

[Screaming]

[Laughing]

And from now on, get your own

dream sequences, okay?

Don"t forget to write,
you big lug.

[Microphone feedback shrieking]

DIDDY: And now, I give you

our very own black cloud, the

one and only Cranky.

[Clapping]

DK, you"ve been like a son to

me, a big, hairy, clumsy son.

But nobody could love you more.

And I always made a point of

telling you that.

I"ve got the evidence right

here, you bumbling baboon!

You doofus!

You numbskull!

You big knucklehead.

Don"t you get it,
you big baboon?

You knucklehead.

You say he landed on his head?

Yeah.

Good thing, otherwise he

might"ve hurt himself.

[Clapping]

He"s someone who means more

to us than just opposable thumbs

and an upright walk.

He"s not just the biggest buddy

I have, but he"s my best, best,

best buddy in the whole wide

world, as well.

DK: Oh, Diddy, I can"t show

up looking like a big hairy ape.

But you are a big hairy ape,

DK, so don"t worry about it,

just be yourself.

DK: You mean a big hairy ape!

[Laughing]

I"ve got an idea,
but I'll need your help.

DIDDY: That"s
what sidekicks are for.

Good, you drive.

What?

I can"t drive.

Neither can I.

DIDDY: There it is,
there it is, DK!

Catch, DK!

DK: I"ve got it,
little buddy.

DIDDY: Okay, DK, I"m dying to

hear the second
part of your plan.

This is where you go up and

get the coconut.

[Snoring]

Without waking Sleeping Ugly.

Banana slamma!

Hold on, little buddy!

Closer, DK!

Right, and besides, nothing and

no one is bigger or better than

the king of all Kongs,
Donkey Kong!

DK: Run!

[Screaming]

[Panting]

DIDDY: Oh, it"s a dead end!

DK: We"re trapped!

We"re doomed!

[Screaming]

We"ll exchange Baby Kong with

another baby.

Oh, yeah, right!

Where do you think we"re gonna

find another baby?

I know I"m your pal and all,

but don"t you think this is

going just a little
far to help you?

I knew I could count on you!

That"s what sidekicks are for!

DK: I got it.

DIDDY: I got it, I got it.

DK: I got it.

[Crashing]

Banana slamma.

I give you your friend and

mine, Donkey Kong.

[Clapping]

Huh?

[Whistling]

Gee, everybody, this place

has been like home for me.

It is your home, numbskull.

I feel like I know every

rock, every tree, every branch

of this island.

CANDY: Donkey Kong!

DK: Candy?

[Crashing]

DIDDY: DK!

DK: Diddy!

[Crashing]

Think you can
lose me that easily?

Tree!

Look out!

Whoa-oa-oa!

Whoa-oa-oa!

All we"ve got to do
is get Cranky back...

CANDY: DK, Diddy!

DIDDY: Stop!

DK: You can count on me.

Dance is easy.

Whoa!

[Crashing]

Oh, no!

[Crashing]

Hang on, Cranky, we"re almost...

That had to hurt... and it did.

And as for you, we"ve all

managed to touch
each other"s lives.

Where is that Donkey Kong?

Where is that
so-called pal o" mine?

We were watching movies and...

Watching movies?!

CANDY: All right,
where is he?

Where is that so-called
boyfriend of mine?

We were having lunch... >> Hey!

Donkey Kong, wait till you see

what Mr. Klump
did to your elevator.

[Ringing and bouncing noises]

The coconut!

DIXIE: Cranky!

Get off the... Tracks.

DK: Sorry, Cranky,
no time to stop.

Guard the coconut.

Thanks.

♪

Out of the way!

But where"s Donkey Kong?

DK: Banana slam...!

That"s my cue.

Off the barrel, Donkey Kong.

You might fall and... Whoa!

Whoa!

[Screaming]

Yeah, lock and load!

Lock and load!

Hey, Cranky,
what"s all the screaming?

You okay?

You big banana-for-brains!

[Groaning]

It won"t be easy leaving all

my friends, but... well, when you

get a letter that says, "You,

Monkey Kong, have been..."

Monkey Kong?

Let me see that.

I should"ve known, you alphabet-

challenged ape.

"Monkey," not "Donkey."

This letter isn"t for you.

Hey,
I don"t have to leave Kongo Bongo.

Isn"t that great news?

[Crickets chirping]

Then we made this whole big

bash for nothing?

Then why did I
pay for this dinner?

Then why I brush my teeth?

DIDDY: Then why did I use up

my best material
on this shindig?

DK: Because you like me, you

really like me.

Hey, I"ve got a great idea.

Let"s celebrate the good news.

Let"s, uh, have a party.

We already did!

DK: Oh, yeah.

Anybody want to dance?

♪