Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 2, Episode 6 - Monkey Seer, Monkey Do - full transcript
Cranky is excited;having completed a life sized bronzed statue;a monument of Donkey Kong the Future Ruler. He is however tired of working his opposable thumbs to the bone while all Donkey Kong seems to do is loaf around;eating bananas. Cranky decides that Donkey Kong must come up with an inscription for the statue himself...and soon! Meanwhile at Funky's place;Diddy;Donkey Kong and their trippy pal summon the Mystic Oracle of the lave lamp to read the future. Funky's gonna catch an epic wave on his surfboard;Diddy's gonna be the "smartest monkey to ever live" and Donkey Kong is gonna be "livin' lonely" all week long. Whether Donkey Kong likes it or not;the Mystic Oracle's powers he decides he needs it to help him take over Kongo Bongo Island. Chaos ensures! Luckily;King K. Rool gets what de deserves and Donkey Kong learns that the best thing he can be is "A monkey in charge of his own fate".
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪ Donkey Kong ♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
[Thundering]
[Laughing]
[Thundering]
[Laughing]
My creation,
my lifelong work, it"s alive.
It"s alive!
It"s... amazing how smart he
looks when he"s
not flapping his gums.
Perfect.
All it needs now is an epitaph.
Here stands Donkey Kong,
protector of the Crystal Coconut
and all around mindless,
mega mouth monkey.
Here I am, working my opposable
thumbs to the bone while that
numbskull is stuffing his face.
First of all, DK should be the
one thinking up an epitaph.
Second of all... Hey, now why
didn"t I think of that before?
Zip, zam, wham, boom, bam.
Teleport me using a hologram.
Ooh!
What do you think you"re doing?
Uhh, rubbing the sore spots?
You"ll have a couple more if
you don"t get your hide over to
my cabin el pronto.
I got a job for you.
[Thundering]
What the...
Tripping on a
major downer or what?
You think that"s bad?
You should see him
when his dentures pinch.
I meant my indoor surfing idea.
It"s like a totally
un-copacetic event.
I thought you said there were
games in here.
All I can find is a bunch of
junk,
some wooden chips and a weird lamp.
Those are games, dude,
metaphysical ones: I Ching,
ancient runes and the mystic
oracle, a divining tool given to
me by my late,
great Uncle Spacey.
"The mystic oracle"?
What does it do?
It predicts the future.
A lamp that predicts the future?
Ooh!
Well, it needs cosmic
translation from
the Funky monkey.
But that aside,
it"s galactic-ly in tune.
You could translate?
Lava lingo is my speciality,
dude.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Predict our futures.
Solid.
Let"s jam.
♪ Monkey seer, monkey do
♪ Mystic oracle, we summon you
♪ Make the scene groove on by
♪ Bless us with
your cosmic eye ♪
[Thundering]
Too cool!
What does it say?
The mystic oracle predicts
I"m going to go surfing today
and ride the lip
of an epic wave.
The only wave you"d catch
today is a tidal wave.
What about me?
What does it say?
The mystic oracle predicts
that you are going to be flying
high and tripping big on your
new handle: the smartest monkey
to ever live.
Diddy?
"The smartest
monkey to ever live"?
[Laughing]
Ooh.
Oh, man,
now I know your lamp is broken.
What does it say about DK?
The mystic oracle
predicts... bad scene.
It says this cat"s going to be
living lonely all week long.
Your lamp couldn"t be more
wrong, Funky.
I"ve got a date with Candy every
night this week.
What do you say about that?
I say I got to split "cause
there"s an epic wave out there
with my name on it.
The mystic oracle"s
prediction was right.
It was just a coincidence,
little buddy.
No one can predict the future,
not even the mystic oracle.
"Mystic oracle"?
I better report this back to the
big cheese at HQ.
This is Southern fried fritters
to crusty crumpets.
K. ROOL: Cut to the chase.
And make it snappy.
I"m in the middle of my peel
and pumice bath.
Sir, there"s an intruder on
the island, some fellow who"s
conspiring with the enemy,
AKA, the apes.
How so, Klump, AKA, twit?
His name is the mystic oracle.
He predicts the future.
Continue surveillance.
I want a full report.
[Birds chirping]
Hey, Dixie.
What"s up?
I was going to go fishing.
But I broke my rod.
No probs.
It"s just a small break.
I can fix it in a jiff.
Oh.
Ooh!
You fixed it!
You"re the smartest
monkey to ever live.
See you around, Diddy, DK.
Did you hear that?
She said I"m the smartest monkey
to ever live!
But she was probably sitting
in the sun too long.
That"s what the mystic
oracle predicted.
That"s two for two.
It was just a lucky guess.
Who in their right mind would
predict that I"d be the smartest
monkey to ever live.
I can"t argue with that.
But I still think it"s
all a coincidence.
Now come on.
I got to get to Cranky"s before
he gets his support
hose in a knot.
Run!
Sounds like this mystic
oracle is as smart
as a tree full of owls.
Ah, perfect hologram dismount.
Ah!
Hey, Cranky.
What"s shaking?
Cranky, you finished the statue!
And it"s beautiful!
I"m a chimp off the old block.
I"ll chip your block right
off if you don"t
think of an epitaph.
All right, new problem:
uhh, what"s an epi-taffy?
An epitaph, you numbskull.
It"s a personal inscription for
the statue.
Oh, okay, sure.
Ooh, ooh, maybe that"s part
of the mystic oracle"s
third prediction.
What are you babbling about?
Well, Funky has this lamp
that makes predictions
that come true.
So what?
I can predict too.
You can?
I predict both of you
numbskulls will be leaving soon,
before you drive me crazy!
That epitaph better
rock my world.
I agree with Cranky.
I think the mystic oracle"s a
load of bunk.
What about the predictions?
Funky"s wave?
And me being the smartest monkey
to ever live?
It also said I"d
be one lonely dude.
But I"m on my way to see...
CANDY: Donkey Kong!
Ooh!
Candy.
Am I ever glad I found you, DK.
I have to cancel
our date tonight.
That"s fantastic!
Break our date?
But why?
Bluster has a barrel
promotion going on.
I"m on double shifts all week.
That"s fantastic!
Look, I got to go.
Sorry, DK.
The mystic oracle was right.
That"s three for three!
What do you say now?
How am I going to survive a
whole week without seeing Candy?
Hmm.
Maybe we could ask the mystic
oracle how to change your fate.
What a great idea.
Let"s go.
Did you get all that,
crusty cru... I
mean King K. Rool?
Yes.
Klump, I want you to find this
mystic oracle and
bring him to me.
With his divining power and my
brain,
we shall rule Kongo Bongo Island!
[Laughing]
[Birds squawking]
Hey, Funky.
We need another powwow with the
mystic or a... Huh?
Looks like he"s not here.
He must still be surfing.
Probably catching
that epic wave.
Now we can"t ask the mystic
oracle about changing
my fate with Candy.
Sure we can.
We don"t need Funky.
But how are we going to do
that celestial thingamajiggy and
planetary whatchamacallit?
No probs.
I remember the spiel.
I"ll show you.
Turn the lamp on.
♪ Diddly-dee, diddly-do
♪ Mystic oracle, hello to you
♪ Check it out, swing on by
♪ Something,
something, cosmic eye ♪
The lamp"s working.
Ask it about me and Candy.
Oh, mystic oracle, tell us
how we can change the fate of
this lowly, lonely loser DK.
What"s it say?
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
It"s forming an image!
A... A banana?
Nope.
A barrel, a big barrel, a really
big barrel.
I don"t get it.
Shh, it"s moving.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Now it"s breaking
up into smaller ones.
Smaller barrels?
That"s all it says,
something about lots of barrels.
Bluster"s Barrel Works!
Tell us more!
Tell us more!
[Gasping]
Wowee-wow!
Did you see that?
Yeah, cool.
It just went kablooey.
That"s it!
We got to kablooey
Bluster"s Barrel Works.
Yeah!
Say what?
Somehow, we have to sabotage
Bluster"s Barrel
Works with bananas!
"Bananas"?
Count me in.
It sounds perfect.
Well then let"s hear it.
Hear what?
The epitaph!
Uhh, yeah,
it"s still a little rough.
You"d better not be goofing off.
Come on.
Let"s go sabotage
Bluster"s Barrel Works and see
if that gets me a
date with Candy.
It can"t fail!
The mystic oracle
hasn"t been wrong yet.
Whoa!
[Crashing]
[Groaning]
A lamp?
Yes, siree.
It makes predictions.
How in lizard"s
name can it do that?
Well, it needs a translator.
But I"ve seen enough
that I can wing it.
♪ Lizard see ♪ Lizard
saw ♪ Mystic oracle
[Scatting]
♪ Slither here, slither there
♪ Something,
something, cosmic air ♪
♪ Oh, mystic oracle ♪ Oh,
mystic oracle
♪ Show me the power
[Sighing]
♪ Mystic oracle, yo,
baby ♪ Ooh ♪ Yo, baby
Enough!
Even I could summon the mystic
oracle better than
you lunkheads.
♪
Oh.
Ready?
All set.
Let"s go.
[Grunting]
[Gears grinding]
What in the world?
Candy,
why have you stopped working?
Ah!
What"ll we do?
I"ll have to
call in a repairman.
You may as well take the rest of
the week off.
Great!
Without pay.
You"re a real jerk, Bluster.
Yes, but a stinking rich one.
Mm-hmm.
DK, guess what.
I"ve got the whole week off.
That"s great.
Looks like our date is on again.
Oh, Candy, there"s nothing
I"d rather be doing...
Than writing an epitaph for my
bronze statue.
Are you serious?
Yes.
I get a whole week off.
And you want a love
fest with your statue?
Just fine.
I"ll make it up to you.
I promise.
So, where is it?
I was, umm, in the middle of
something really fantastic.
Then you popped in and ruined my
train of thought.
If there is a train of
thought in there, it"s been
derailed for years.
Now hurry up and stop goofing.
Now I"ve ruined everything.
Candy"s mad at me.
Cranky"s losing his patience.
And I still have to think of an
epitaph for my statue.
Maybe the mystic oracle can
predict what the
inscription should be.
What a great idea.
Let"s go back to
Funky's and find out.
That"s it!
It says here that when calling
upon gifted gurus, one must use
style and panache.
♪ Kingly seer, kingly do
♪ Mystic oracle, I summon you
♪ Grace me,
grant me, pop on by ♪
♪ Enchant me with
your cosmic eye ♪
[Grunting]
Don"t just stand there!
Help me!
Deodorant, sir?
Sweating like a
dingo in the outback.
Uhh,
shouldn"t this be turned on.
No, let me.
Sir, your sweat"ll... >> Ah!
Fry you like black eyed peas
on a hot skillet.
Clearly, you underestimated
the necessity and skill of a
mystic oracle translator.
Uhh, yeah.
None of the apes
fried the way you did.
Get me someone who"s
linguistically
adept in lamp lingo.
Black flag bogus
day on the surf.
It just couldn"t get worse.
Oh, yes, it can!
Today was a total downer.
Total downer, eh?
Ehh, why?
Check this, dudes.
I was body whomping and getting
ready to capitalize
on this major wave.
I was riding high,
inside the barrel.
Then, boof!
"Boof"?
The wave clam-shelled me.
I was zip-locked.
I had to bail.
Next thing you know, I was
diving for pearls,
total eclipse, full kick out.
You dig?
Bummer, soldier, makes it
twice as tough for me to lay
this kidnapping deal on you.
That"s cool, dude.
It"s not your fault my vibes are
"frequenced" to the max and
tripping in the red.
Right, well...
I hope Funky doesn"t mind us
using his lamp like this.
The lamp, it"s gone!
But who"d want
to steal the lamp?
Lizards!
I don"t get it.
Why would K. Rool
want the mystic oracle?
Why wouldn"t he?
It predicts the future.
It"s the ultimate power.
But he wouldn"t even know how
to use it without Funky.
Oh no!
They stole the lamp
and kidnapped Funky!
General Klump, force that
Funky monkey to
predict my future.
Sir, if I may?
The enemy has had a rough day.
He had to fully bail on this
wave that was
thought to be epic.
And now he"s tripping on some
heavy downer time.
So, I was wondering if... if you
could cut him some slack.
He"s just trying to relax and...
and relate right now.
Make him tell me my future or
else you won"t have one.
It"s cool.
Let"s jam.
He"s going to
make a scene and jam.
Hang loose.
I"ll hang your hide out to
dry if you don"t knock it off.
I can"t work my magic around
all this bad karma.
Listen, you little weirdo.
Start jamming or the next epic
wave you see will be in the
sewers of my dungeon!
Dig it?
When I get home, I got to do
some major chakra cleansing.
That surfing bail totally
whacked out my aura.
[Snapping]
Come on.
Make it snappy.
♪ Monkey seer ♪
Monkey do ♪ Mystic oracle
♪ We summon you ♪ Make the scene
♪ Groove on by
♪ Bless us with your
cosmic eye ♪
Yo, kick it.
It"s working!
What does it say
about my future?
The mystical
oracle predicts that...
Yes?
The slimy dude will get
exactly what he deserves.
Did you hear that?
I"m going to get what I deserve!
[Laughing]
I"m going to be the king of
Kongo Bongo Island.
Hey, pond gack!
I demand that you
release my friend.
Oh, yes, fine, fine.
The Funky monkey can go.
Shoo.
Skedaddle.
It"s been real.
Ditto, dude.
Hey, Funk man.
Let me do you a solid.
Take my wheels.
Right on.
Later, dude.
What was that about?
I don"t know.
But let"s not go there.
And I"m taking the lamp too.
"The lamp"?
Oh, yes, fine.
Take the lamp.
You see, I"m going to be the
future ruler of
Kongo Bongo Island.
In your dreams, pond gack.
Oh, no, in reality.
The mystic oracle said so.
"The mystic oracle said so"?
Negative, dudes.
What?
You said the mystic oracle
predicted that I"d be
king of Kongo Bongo!
Negative, skanky villain dude.
I said you"d get
what you deserve.
Yes,
but that means... The lamp!
Stop them, you halfwits!
Klump, wait for me!
[Wheels screeching]
[Wheels screeching]
Bye-bye!
Bingo!
Gotcha!
Yes!
Ah!
[Crashing]
[Grunting]
[Laughing]
DK, look out!
[Wheels screeching]
[Sighing]
[Wheels screeching]
Hand over the lamp or it"s
hasta la vista, baby!
I say give him the lamp, DK.
What"s the worst he can do?
[Laughing]
I will have supreme power over
you Neanderthal throwbacks.
With the mystic oracle at my
fingertips, I shall know
everything there is to know
before it happens.
Mark my words.
You will never, ever get the
better of me again.
That doesn"t sound too good.
[Laughing]
Neither does your alternative.
Uhh, can I have a last request?
Fine.
Ask the lamp anything you wish.
Good thinking, DK.
You going to ask what your
epitaph should be?
Nope.
I want to ask Funky permission
to get rid of the lamp.
Do you mind?
No.
It wasn"t accurate anyway.
I never did catch
that epic wave.
No!
Oh!
What did you do that for?
I realized too much knowledge
is a dangerous thing,
little buddy.
Klump!
Krusha!
Whoa!
The mystic
oracle was right again.
It predicted King K. Rool would
get what he deserves.
Yeah, but it was wrong about
Funky"s prediction.
He never did catch
that epic wave.
Negative, dudes.
It doesn"t get
more epic than this.
Whoa!
A totally mind-blowing
experience!
Whoa!
[Laughing]
The mystic
oracle was right again.
I don"t know if the mystic
oracle can predict the future or
not, little buddy.
But I do know one thing.
It"s a lot more fun to be in
charge of your own fate.
Hey, that"s it.
What"s it?
My epitaph.
Okay, I"ve had it.
Do you have an epitaph or not?
Here stands Donkey Kong,
ruler of Kongo Bongo Island,
local hero, protector of the
Crystal Coconut and a monkey in
charge of his own fate.
Hey, kind of rocks my world.
Way to go, Donkey Kong.
Banana slamma!
[Lizards screaming]
Well, you don"t need a mystic
oracle to know
that"s got to hurt.
[Laughing]
♪
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪ Donkey Kong ♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
[Thundering]
[Laughing]
[Thundering]
[Laughing]
My creation,
my lifelong work, it"s alive.
It"s alive!
It"s... amazing how smart he
looks when he"s
not flapping his gums.
Perfect.
All it needs now is an epitaph.
Here stands Donkey Kong,
protector of the Crystal Coconut
and all around mindless,
mega mouth monkey.
Here I am, working my opposable
thumbs to the bone while that
numbskull is stuffing his face.
First of all, DK should be the
one thinking up an epitaph.
Second of all... Hey, now why
didn"t I think of that before?
Zip, zam, wham, boom, bam.
Teleport me using a hologram.
Ooh!
What do you think you"re doing?
Uhh, rubbing the sore spots?
You"ll have a couple more if
you don"t get your hide over to
my cabin el pronto.
I got a job for you.
[Thundering]
What the...
Tripping on a
major downer or what?
You think that"s bad?
You should see him
when his dentures pinch.
I meant my indoor surfing idea.
It"s like a totally
un-copacetic event.
I thought you said there were
games in here.
All I can find is a bunch of
junk,
some wooden chips and a weird lamp.
Those are games, dude,
metaphysical ones: I Ching,
ancient runes and the mystic
oracle, a divining tool given to
me by my late,
great Uncle Spacey.
"The mystic oracle"?
What does it do?
It predicts the future.
A lamp that predicts the future?
Ooh!
Well, it needs cosmic
translation from
the Funky monkey.
But that aside,
it"s galactic-ly in tune.
You could translate?
Lava lingo is my speciality,
dude.
Well, what are you waiting for?
Predict our futures.
Solid.
Let"s jam.
♪ Monkey seer, monkey do
♪ Mystic oracle, we summon you
♪ Make the scene groove on by
♪ Bless us with
your cosmic eye ♪
[Thundering]
Too cool!
What does it say?
The mystic oracle predicts
I"m going to go surfing today
and ride the lip
of an epic wave.
The only wave you"d catch
today is a tidal wave.
What about me?
What does it say?
The mystic oracle predicts
that you are going to be flying
high and tripping big on your
new handle: the smartest monkey
to ever live.
Diddy?
"The smartest
monkey to ever live"?
[Laughing]
Ooh.
Oh, man,
now I know your lamp is broken.
What does it say about DK?
The mystic oracle
predicts... bad scene.
It says this cat"s going to be
living lonely all week long.
Your lamp couldn"t be more
wrong, Funky.
I"ve got a date with Candy every
night this week.
What do you say about that?
I say I got to split "cause
there"s an epic wave out there
with my name on it.
The mystic oracle"s
prediction was right.
It was just a coincidence,
little buddy.
No one can predict the future,
not even the mystic oracle.
"Mystic oracle"?
I better report this back to the
big cheese at HQ.
This is Southern fried fritters
to crusty crumpets.
K. ROOL: Cut to the chase.
And make it snappy.
I"m in the middle of my peel
and pumice bath.
Sir, there"s an intruder on
the island, some fellow who"s
conspiring with the enemy,
AKA, the apes.
How so, Klump, AKA, twit?
His name is the mystic oracle.
He predicts the future.
Continue surveillance.
I want a full report.
[Birds chirping]
Hey, Dixie.
What"s up?
I was going to go fishing.
But I broke my rod.
No probs.
It"s just a small break.
I can fix it in a jiff.
Oh.
Ooh!
You fixed it!
You"re the smartest
monkey to ever live.
See you around, Diddy, DK.
Did you hear that?
She said I"m the smartest monkey
to ever live!
But she was probably sitting
in the sun too long.
That"s what the mystic
oracle predicted.
That"s two for two.
It was just a lucky guess.
Who in their right mind would
predict that I"d be the smartest
monkey to ever live.
I can"t argue with that.
But I still think it"s
all a coincidence.
Now come on.
I got to get to Cranky"s before
he gets his support
hose in a knot.
Run!
Sounds like this mystic
oracle is as smart
as a tree full of owls.
Ah, perfect hologram dismount.
Ah!
Hey, Cranky.
What"s shaking?
Cranky, you finished the statue!
And it"s beautiful!
I"m a chimp off the old block.
I"ll chip your block right
off if you don"t
think of an epitaph.
All right, new problem:
uhh, what"s an epi-taffy?
An epitaph, you numbskull.
It"s a personal inscription for
the statue.
Oh, okay, sure.
Ooh, ooh, maybe that"s part
of the mystic oracle"s
third prediction.
What are you babbling about?
Well, Funky has this lamp
that makes predictions
that come true.
So what?
I can predict too.
You can?
I predict both of you
numbskulls will be leaving soon,
before you drive me crazy!
That epitaph better
rock my world.
I agree with Cranky.
I think the mystic oracle"s a
load of bunk.
What about the predictions?
Funky"s wave?
And me being the smartest monkey
to ever live?
It also said I"d
be one lonely dude.
But I"m on my way to see...
CANDY: Donkey Kong!
Ooh!
Candy.
Am I ever glad I found you, DK.
I have to cancel
our date tonight.
That"s fantastic!
Break our date?
But why?
Bluster has a barrel
promotion going on.
I"m on double shifts all week.
That"s fantastic!
Look, I got to go.
Sorry, DK.
The mystic oracle was right.
That"s three for three!
What do you say now?
How am I going to survive a
whole week without seeing Candy?
Hmm.
Maybe we could ask the mystic
oracle how to change your fate.
What a great idea.
Let"s go.
Did you get all that,
crusty cru... I
mean King K. Rool?
Yes.
Klump, I want you to find this
mystic oracle and
bring him to me.
With his divining power and my
brain,
we shall rule Kongo Bongo Island!
[Laughing]
[Birds squawking]
Hey, Funky.
We need another powwow with the
mystic or a... Huh?
Looks like he"s not here.
He must still be surfing.
Probably catching
that epic wave.
Now we can"t ask the mystic
oracle about changing
my fate with Candy.
Sure we can.
We don"t need Funky.
But how are we going to do
that celestial thingamajiggy and
planetary whatchamacallit?
No probs.
I remember the spiel.
I"ll show you.
Turn the lamp on.
♪ Diddly-dee, diddly-do
♪ Mystic oracle, hello to you
♪ Check it out, swing on by
♪ Something,
something, cosmic eye ♪
The lamp"s working.
Ask it about me and Candy.
Oh, mystic oracle, tell us
how we can change the fate of
this lowly, lonely loser DK.
What"s it say?
Oh, oh, oh, oh!
It"s forming an image!
A... A banana?
Nope.
A barrel, a big barrel, a really
big barrel.
I don"t get it.
Shh, it"s moving.
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
Now it"s breaking
up into smaller ones.
Smaller barrels?
That"s all it says,
something about lots of barrels.
Bluster"s Barrel Works!
Tell us more!
Tell us more!
[Gasping]
Wowee-wow!
Did you see that?
Yeah, cool.
It just went kablooey.
That"s it!
We got to kablooey
Bluster"s Barrel Works.
Yeah!
Say what?
Somehow, we have to sabotage
Bluster"s Barrel
Works with bananas!
"Bananas"?
Count me in.
It sounds perfect.
Well then let"s hear it.
Hear what?
The epitaph!
Uhh, yeah,
it"s still a little rough.
You"d better not be goofing off.
Come on.
Let"s go sabotage
Bluster"s Barrel Works and see
if that gets me a
date with Candy.
It can"t fail!
The mystic oracle
hasn"t been wrong yet.
Whoa!
[Crashing]
[Groaning]
A lamp?
Yes, siree.
It makes predictions.
How in lizard"s
name can it do that?
Well, it needs a translator.
But I"ve seen enough
that I can wing it.
♪ Lizard see ♪ Lizard
saw ♪ Mystic oracle
[Scatting]
♪ Slither here, slither there
♪ Something,
something, cosmic air ♪
♪ Oh, mystic oracle ♪ Oh,
mystic oracle
♪ Show me the power
[Sighing]
♪ Mystic oracle, yo,
baby ♪ Ooh ♪ Yo, baby
Enough!
Even I could summon the mystic
oracle better than
you lunkheads.
♪
Oh.
Ready?
All set.
Let"s go.
[Grunting]
[Gears grinding]
What in the world?
Candy,
why have you stopped working?
Ah!
What"ll we do?
I"ll have to
call in a repairman.
You may as well take the rest of
the week off.
Great!
Without pay.
You"re a real jerk, Bluster.
Yes, but a stinking rich one.
Mm-hmm.
DK, guess what.
I"ve got the whole week off.
That"s great.
Looks like our date is on again.
Oh, Candy, there"s nothing
I"d rather be doing...
Than writing an epitaph for my
bronze statue.
Are you serious?
Yes.
I get a whole week off.
And you want a love
fest with your statue?
Just fine.
I"ll make it up to you.
I promise.
So, where is it?
I was, umm, in the middle of
something really fantastic.
Then you popped in and ruined my
train of thought.
If there is a train of
thought in there, it"s been
derailed for years.
Now hurry up and stop goofing.
Now I"ve ruined everything.
Candy"s mad at me.
Cranky"s losing his patience.
And I still have to think of an
epitaph for my statue.
Maybe the mystic oracle can
predict what the
inscription should be.
What a great idea.
Let"s go back to
Funky's and find out.
That"s it!
It says here that when calling
upon gifted gurus, one must use
style and panache.
♪ Kingly seer, kingly do
♪ Mystic oracle, I summon you
♪ Grace me,
grant me, pop on by ♪
♪ Enchant me with
your cosmic eye ♪
[Grunting]
Don"t just stand there!
Help me!
Deodorant, sir?
Sweating like a
dingo in the outback.
Uhh,
shouldn"t this be turned on.
No, let me.
Sir, your sweat"ll... >> Ah!
Fry you like black eyed peas
on a hot skillet.
Clearly, you underestimated
the necessity and skill of a
mystic oracle translator.
Uhh, yeah.
None of the apes
fried the way you did.
Get me someone who"s
linguistically
adept in lamp lingo.
Black flag bogus
day on the surf.
It just couldn"t get worse.
Oh, yes, it can!
Today was a total downer.
Total downer, eh?
Ehh, why?
Check this, dudes.
I was body whomping and getting
ready to capitalize
on this major wave.
I was riding high,
inside the barrel.
Then, boof!
"Boof"?
The wave clam-shelled me.
I was zip-locked.
I had to bail.
Next thing you know, I was
diving for pearls,
total eclipse, full kick out.
You dig?
Bummer, soldier, makes it
twice as tough for me to lay
this kidnapping deal on you.
That"s cool, dude.
It"s not your fault my vibes are
"frequenced" to the max and
tripping in the red.
Right, well...
I hope Funky doesn"t mind us
using his lamp like this.
The lamp, it"s gone!
But who"d want
to steal the lamp?
Lizards!
I don"t get it.
Why would K. Rool
want the mystic oracle?
Why wouldn"t he?
It predicts the future.
It"s the ultimate power.
But he wouldn"t even know how
to use it without Funky.
Oh no!
They stole the lamp
and kidnapped Funky!
General Klump, force that
Funky monkey to
predict my future.
Sir, if I may?
The enemy has had a rough day.
He had to fully bail on this
wave that was
thought to be epic.
And now he"s tripping on some
heavy downer time.
So, I was wondering if... if you
could cut him some slack.
He"s just trying to relax and...
and relate right now.
Make him tell me my future or
else you won"t have one.
It"s cool.
Let"s jam.
He"s going to
make a scene and jam.
Hang loose.
I"ll hang your hide out to
dry if you don"t knock it off.
I can"t work my magic around
all this bad karma.
Listen, you little weirdo.
Start jamming or the next epic
wave you see will be in the
sewers of my dungeon!
Dig it?
When I get home, I got to do
some major chakra cleansing.
That surfing bail totally
whacked out my aura.
[Snapping]
Come on.
Make it snappy.
♪ Monkey seer ♪
Monkey do ♪ Mystic oracle
♪ We summon you ♪ Make the scene
♪ Groove on by
♪ Bless us with your
cosmic eye ♪
Yo, kick it.
It"s working!
What does it say
about my future?
The mystical
oracle predicts that...
Yes?
The slimy dude will get
exactly what he deserves.
Did you hear that?
I"m going to get what I deserve!
[Laughing]
I"m going to be the king of
Kongo Bongo Island.
Hey, pond gack!
I demand that you
release my friend.
Oh, yes, fine, fine.
The Funky monkey can go.
Shoo.
Skedaddle.
It"s been real.
Ditto, dude.
Hey, Funk man.
Let me do you a solid.
Take my wheels.
Right on.
Later, dude.
What was that about?
I don"t know.
But let"s not go there.
And I"m taking the lamp too.
"The lamp"?
Oh, yes, fine.
Take the lamp.
You see, I"m going to be the
future ruler of
Kongo Bongo Island.
In your dreams, pond gack.
Oh, no, in reality.
The mystic oracle said so.
"The mystic oracle said so"?
Negative, dudes.
What?
You said the mystic oracle
predicted that I"d be
king of Kongo Bongo!
Negative, skanky villain dude.
I said you"d get
what you deserve.
Yes,
but that means... The lamp!
Stop them, you halfwits!
Klump, wait for me!
[Wheels screeching]
[Wheels screeching]
Bye-bye!
Bingo!
Gotcha!
Yes!
Ah!
[Crashing]
[Grunting]
[Laughing]
DK, look out!
[Wheels screeching]
[Sighing]
[Wheels screeching]
Hand over the lamp or it"s
hasta la vista, baby!
I say give him the lamp, DK.
What"s the worst he can do?
[Laughing]
I will have supreme power over
you Neanderthal throwbacks.
With the mystic oracle at my
fingertips, I shall know
everything there is to know
before it happens.
Mark my words.
You will never, ever get the
better of me again.
That doesn"t sound too good.
[Laughing]
Neither does your alternative.
Uhh, can I have a last request?
Fine.
Ask the lamp anything you wish.
Good thinking, DK.
You going to ask what your
epitaph should be?
Nope.
I want to ask Funky permission
to get rid of the lamp.
Do you mind?
No.
It wasn"t accurate anyway.
I never did catch
that epic wave.
No!
Oh!
What did you do that for?
I realized too much knowledge
is a dangerous thing,
little buddy.
Klump!
Krusha!
Whoa!
The mystic
oracle was right again.
It predicted King K. Rool would
get what he deserves.
Yeah, but it was wrong about
Funky"s prediction.
He never did catch
that epic wave.
Negative, dudes.
It doesn"t get
more epic than this.
Whoa!
A totally mind-blowing
experience!
Whoa!
[Laughing]
The mystic
oracle was right again.
I don"t know if the mystic
oracle can predict the future or
not, little buddy.
But I do know one thing.
It"s a lot more fun to be in
charge of your own fate.
Hey, that"s it.
What"s it?
My epitaph.
Okay, I"ve had it.
Do you have an epitaph or not?
Here stands Donkey Kong,
ruler of Kongo Bongo Island,
local hero, protector of the
Crystal Coconut and a monkey in
charge of his own fate.
Hey, kind of rocks my world.
Way to go, Donkey Kong.
Banana slamma!
[Lizards screaming]
Well, you don"t need a mystic
oracle to know
that"s got to hurt.
[Laughing]
♪