Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 2, Episode 11 - Hunka Hunka Burnin' Bluster - full transcript

What happens when you accidentally cross a balding;money-hungry;mommy's-boy monkey with a magical hair serum? You get Leo Luster;daddy-o! Leo is so cool he can put anybody in a trance;be it...

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma

♪ Donkey Kong ♪

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong

♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh

♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes

♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪

♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪

♪ Let"s go ♪

♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma



[Thumping]

Oh, man!

Ooh, ah, ah, ah!

Ouch.

That"s a bummer on the thummer.

Hey, Funky,
what"s this you dropped?

Does nobody work around here?

FUNKY: Hold that,
hold that, dude.

I was just putting up a poster,

and Candy is lending me a paw.

It"s from my new eats emporium,

Funky"s Beautacious Bistro.

The mind-blowing
grand opening is tonight.

Mmm, well, Candy, should I



allow you the honour
of accompanying me?

Ha, go on a date with you?

[Laughing]

Dream on, Bluster!

[All laughing]

So what were we laughing about?

Bluster asked me to the

opening of Funky"s
new restaurant tonight.

[All laughing]

I don"t get it.

Well, as if I"d go with him

when you"ll be taking me.

Yeah, of course I"m taking you.

Who else would take you?

If you"re going, I'm taking you.

Psst, DK, what about the big

game tonight?

Uh, Candy, sorry,
I can"t take you.

Big game on the tube.

Big game!

What, you"re choosing a

stupid ballgame over me?

B-b-b-but-but
it"s the championship.

Can"t we go tomorrow night?

That way, we"ll know if anybody

got food poisoning tonight.

No, tomorrow"s too late.

You act like you"re the only

fish in the sea, Donkey Kong.

Well, here"s a news flash.

You"re not!

Ah, Candy, come on.

Don"t be like that.

Obviously not a ball fan.

Oh, no!

Get back here, double time.

Yes, sir, Your Sass-ness.

I just had the
most delicious idea.

I know exactly how to keep

Donkey Kong running in circles

until the proverbial
cows come home.

Krusha!

Ahh!

When did the cows leave?

How many times have I told

you not to sneak up
behind me like that?

Now get me a pencil and paper.

I"m going to make Donkey Kong

think Candy is really breaking

up with him for good.

That love-sick monkey won"t be

much of a guard of
the Crystal Coconut.

[Evil laughing]

There, how could Candy

possibly resist me now.

What"s this?

Hair, my hair?

Argh!

My hair"s falling out!

Don"t panic, don't panic!

I"ve got just the tonic.

"For beautiful manageable hair."

"For full body hair."

"For silky hair."

What about falling-out hair?

Keep calm.

I"ll... I'll combine
them all together.

I"ve got to admit, big buddy,

Candy did look kind of mad.

Maybe you should talk to her,

after the game, that is.

No worries, little buddy.

It"s not like someone else is

going to come along and take my

place, is it?

I heard it with my own two ears.

Relax, little buddy.

The coast is clear.

Go now, you lugubrious lizard.

Hurry!

[Clanging]

Hey,
look: it"s a letter for you, DK.

Want me to read it?

Sure.

Oh, it"s from Candy!

It"s probably an apology.

Read on, little buddy.

"Dear Donkey Kong: it" s over.

I found someone else, a real ape

who values romantic dinners,

signed,
your new ex-girlfriend, Candy.

Let me read that.

You know what this is?

It"s a dear John letter!

Uh, thank you.

For a second there, I thought

this was meant for me.

It"s called a dear John letter.

It means Candy"s
found someone else.

Oh.

[Crying]

Oh, why?

Why?

[Loud sobbing]

Oh, come on, DK.

Pull yourself together.

Why don"t we find out who this

new guy is, and you can give him

a banana slamma to
end all banana slammas.

You"re just trying to make

me feel better, Diddy.

[Crying]

And you know what?

It"s working.

There, that ought to keep the

thick ape confused long enough

for us to overpower Cranky and

get our greedy little hands on

the Crystal Coconut!

[Greedy laughing]

"Don" t mix with
any other products.

Don "t ask us why; just don't."

[Smashing]

Urgh, what a smell.

I can"t use this.

So what if I"ve
lost a bit of hair?

Argh, more hair!

I"m shedding!

[Exploding]

[Laughing]

Here"s what you do, big buddy.

You make up with Candy, and then

you dump her.

I want to find out who this

other ape is, little buddy.

Hey.

Whoa, I want to talk to you.

You go first, I insist.

Candy,
how could you do this to me?

What choice did I have?

Then it"s true.

You were there.

You made a choice,
and I made a choice.

I didn"t see her
choose a choice.

She hasn"t chosen to choose.

I have so made
a choice right there.

You"ve chosen?

Who did you choose?

Who?

Oh, so you won"t tell me.

Fine.

Good luck because I"m the only

game in town.

[Jubilant laughing]

I"m king of the world!

Leaping lizards, K. Rool"s

got the Crystal Coconut!

Uh?

What?

Banana!

Huh?

Watch how a real ape saves

the day, daddy-o!

Now just a minute.

That"s my job.

Get off the track!

Not a doing.

You"re going to stop because

that"s what you do when you're

faced with an
irresistible force.



And irresistible is what I am,
baby.

♪ Hey,
kids ♪ The world just got cooler

♪ Stand back while
I make the scene ♪

♪ I"m the most... uh ♪

♪ And that ain"t no boast ♪

♪ I"m the swingin'est thing

from coast to coast ♪

♪ I"m a lizard's nightmare ♪

♪ I"m every girl's dream ♪

♪ The picture of perfect

♪ You know what I
mean ♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Pow ♪ I"m where it's at ♪

♪ I"m a far-out happenin' cat ♪

♪ Uh ♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Baby I"m a trip ♪

[Candy screaming]

♪ Man it hurts to be this hip ♪



♪ Cats dig ♪ It"s
time to get hip now ♪

♪ Hop aboard ♪
It"s a groovy ride ♪

♪ Dig my threads ♪
My shades and my hair

♪ Step aside, squares

♪ I"m a lizard's nightmare ♪

♪ I"m every girl's dream ♪

♪ The picture of perfect

♪ You know what I
mean ♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Pow ♪ I"m where it's at ♪

♪ I"m a far-out happenin' cat ♪

♪ Uh ♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Baby, I"m a trip ♪

♪ Man, it hurts to be this hip ♪

Ahem!

[Sighing]

Now get along, little doggies.

Vamooch!

Yes, sir.

Here you go, banana breath.

Luster"s the name, your Luster.

I"m charmed, baby, and I know

you must be too.

Call me Candy.

Call me Donkey Kong,
Candy"s boyfriend.

Don"t you have to go polish

that glass bobbin of yours?

Come on, DK.

Never mind him, just because

he"s handsome and charming and a

great dresser.

You"ve got lots of
great qualities too.

Like what?

♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Boom boom boom boom

He sure was a nice feller.

Nice smile.

Hmmm.

Hold it.

Yes, sir.

[Skidding]

Yow, ooh!

Ah!

What just happened?

Why did we give up the coconut?

We had the coconut?

He must have hypnotized us

Klump, get back there and find

out everything you can about

what"s his name.

Yes, sir, right away, sir.

What is his name?

I don"t know, you ninny.

That"s why I'm sending you.

Now get going.

Hip hop, hip hop,
hip hop, hip hop.

[Sighing]

I hear there"s a romantic

little snack shack
opening up in the p.m.

What"s, say, we make the scene?

I"d love to scene... I mean,
go...

Then it"s a date,
say about 8:00?

Huh?

Oh.

Cool!

Uh-huh, gotta go.

See you there.

[Exploding]

Uh-oh, I"m... I'm testing.

Testing.

I"m the boss,
and the boss says...

This can"t be good.

I"m me again.

I"ve got to make more serum if

I"m going to keep
my date with Candy.

Well, get me a dobbin.

It"s Bluster.

DIDDY: Tea minus 20 minutes

and counting to game time.

Ha-ha-ha.

What could Candy possibly

see in that pompadour primate?

Well, he was pretty cool

looking, in a dumb barely

walking missing-link
sort of way.

[Nervous laughing]

I"ve got to think of some way

to win Candy back.

I guess you could swear off

ballgames forever, and then beg

her to let you take her to

Funky"s tonight.

Good idea, Diddy.

I"m going to do it.

DK, I was just kidding.

Give up our ballgames?

Let"s not be rash here.

Diddy, sometimes an ape"s got

to do what an ape"s got to do.

Oh, DK, wait!

Think, Bluster, think.

A little of this, some of that,

a lot of the other thing.

The same weird looking smoke.

[Sniffing]

Yuck, the same putrid smell.

All right, here goes nothing.

[Vibrating]

[Yelling]

It sounds like our friend

Bluster or perhaps his
dapper doppelganger.

That sounded like a zebra

having his stripes removed.

My hair, it"s gone.

Now what have I done?

Mumsie"s going to disown me.

What was that formula?

[Evil laughing]

Sshh!

Ssh!

Ee-oh!

The last of the ingredients.

This had better turn me back

into Leo Luster or I"m up the

creek without a pompadour.

Hey, Buster, are you in there?

Oh, no.

I can"t let that lummox
see me like this.

DONKEY KONG: Luster!

Yow!

Sorry, DK, you can"t come in.

I"m... I'm taking a
bath in my money.

You know, it"s Friday night.

Whatever, Bluster.

I just want to talk to Candy.

She"s not here.

I gave her the day off with pay

to get ready for some big date.

Well, love to chat, but my money

bath is losing interest.

Got to go.

Bye-bye.

Bluster gave Candy
the day off with pay?

Something"s fishy here.

Come on, let"s go.

My secret formula,
it "s... it" s...

KING K. ROOL: Safe and sound

with me, Bluster, or should I

say Leonardo Luster?

Give me that.

I"ll need that tonight.

I"ll give it to you on one

condition, Smoothie.

You get me the Crystal Coconut!

ANNOUNCER: And now tonight"s

starting line-up, brought to

you by the Barrel of Monkeys"

Funeral Home.

Come on, DK.

Sit down and relax, will you?

The game"s about to start.

How can I relax?

Candy"s going to have dinner

with that... that big ape.

[Door creaking]

Yoo-hoo, anyone home?

It"s me.

Don"t get up.

Who"s getting up?

Candy asked me to tell you

she"s changed her mind and she

wants you to meet
her at Funky"s.

Yes!

She really had me worried there

for a second.

Well, what are you waiting for?

You two go, and I"ll call you at

Funky"s with the score.

I"d better stay and watch the

game... oh,
I mean the Crystal Coconut.

You make sure Donkey Kong

gets there on time.

I"ll guard the coconut, and I

won"t even charge you for it.

DONKEY KONG: Thanks, Bluster.

First Bluster gave
Candy the day off.

Now he"s helping you get back

together with her?

I tell you, there"s something

not right here.

[Thudding]

Ouch!

It seems such a waste to give

this to that slimy salamander.

[Door creaking open]

Flattery will get you nowhere.

At last, the moment of triumph

is at my greedy little

fingertips once more.

We had a deal: the Crystal

Coconut for my serum.

Would love to chat, but I"ve got

a heavy date.

Toodles!

And now, all of Kongo Bongo!

[Yawning]

Yadda-yadda-yadda-yadda.

I"ll be supreme ruler.

All right, let"s go.

DIDDY: Didn"t I tell you,
big buddy?

We"ve got tons of time.

Candy"s probably
still getting ready.

You know how she
likes to keep you waiting?

Diddy,
the Crystal Coconut is gone!

BOTH: Bluster!

[Exploding]

Uh-oh, looks like rain.

Cosmic bummer.

Banana fish, Candy?

Uh... urgh... no thanks, Funky.

I"m trying to cut down.

Candy, Funky, Bluster stole

the Crystal Coconut.

DK, what are you doing here?

Hey, baby, sorry I"m tardy.

Huh?

I didn"t... were you late?

Oh, by the way, Ray, about

your little glass charm.

I just saw three lizards making,

like, Splitsville with it.

Well, I guess someone should

get it back, or K. Rool will

become the ruler of Kongo Bongo.

And that someone has always

been me, Leo.

Hey, where did he go?

The first rule of cool: never

send a chimp to do an ape"s job.

Forget it, Luster.

That"s my job,
and I don't need any help!

I"m right behind you, DK.

Mmm.

What do you call these?

Banana fish rolls.

Banana?

Fish?

DONKEY KONG: Hold it right

there, Luster.

[Thudding]

Hey, watch the material, Muriel.

If anyone"s going to get the

Crystal Coconut back,
it"s going to be me.

I don"t Einstein so, and I

don"t need any assist, so

consider this a diss, Miss.

Hey, monkeys, incoming!

[Exploding]

[Sighing]

What?

[Laughing]

I can"t wait to see the look

on Funky"s face
when he gets back.

Aye, Your Smugness.

Oh,
he should be a might surprised.

Yes, sir!

[Laughing]

All right, Luster, do that

thing you do with your eyes and

get Krusha to open this cage.

Oh, it"s easy for you to say,

just twinkle twinkle.

Well, it"s not that simple, I'll

have you know.

Luster, what are you doing here?

What did you do with Leo?

Leo?

Yes, Leo.

About Leo, the truth is I"m Leo.

Hey, Bluster,
even I"m not that dumb.

Alas it"s true; I am Leo, or

at least I was.

I accidentally made some serum

that changed me into him.

What?

Well, you"re not help to me as

you, unless...

Mmm, maybe we could fool K. Rool

into thinking you can
still hypnotize them.

I could do that, or I could

just use the last of my serum

and really hypnotize them.

That would work too.

[Smashing]

At least it would have if you

weren"t such a clumsy klutz!

We"ve only got one choice:

you have to become
Leo without the serum.

What are you babbling about?

How can I become him?

I"m just filthy rich but

snivelling coward Bluster.

Believe it or not, somewhere

deep down inside of you,

Bluster, you"re Leo Luster.

The serum just brought it out.

♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Me me me ♪ Maybe take a trip

Uh, that"s not it.

[Vibrating]

Arrgh!

I"m back, baby.

♪ Hey,
ha ♪ It"s good to be back here

♪ You"re beautiful ♪

♪ And it"s straight
from the heart ♪

♪ It"s time ♪

♪ Ah ♪ To fly the coop now

♪ Destination Splitsville

♪ I"m better than ever ♪

♪ On top of my game
♪ Look in my eyes baby

♪ I"m not the same ♪

♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ Baby, I"m back ♪

♪ I"m still a happening cat ♪

♪ Meow ♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ I"ve always had the stuff ♪

♪ I"m that good ♪

♪ You just can"t get enough ♪

♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ I"m an irresistible force ♪

♪ I"m Leo Luster ♪

♪ I"m like a heart
attack baby ♪

[Thundering]

♪ Now I command let my people go,
go ♪

I can do that.

All right, Leo, hit him.

Uh-oh.

Try this: special military

issue night-vision goggles so he

can"t hypnotize you.

I can"t see a thing, Klump.

Uhh, that"s all the cool I got.

Klump, get me out of here now!

Oh, no, you don"t.

Banana slamma!

Argh!

Gotta go!

Ahh!

Ha!

Grrr!

Uh-oh!

Aah!

Oh, brother.

[Thumping]

[Evil laughing]

Get out of the way!

Nothing is stopping
me this time!

Not a doing!

You"re going to stop because

that"s what you do when you're

faced with an
irresistible force.

Umph!

[Blowing]

[Clinking]

That"s it?

You know the deal, Bluster.

Go over and tell
Candy the truth.

Must I?

[Sighing]

Candy, there"s something I have

to tell you.

You see, the truth is...

Have you seen that handsome

Leo Luster anywhere?

Oh, that"s just it.

I"m Leo Luster.

[Laughing]

Ah!

It"s true.

I mixed up a secret formula and

somehow became Leo.

I"m sure you couldn't help

noticing the similarities,
mmm, Candy, mmm?

Urgh!

I"ll take it from here, Bluster.

See, no more Leo Luster, just

good old Donkey Kong, your

favourite guy, and I"m here to

have a romantic dinner with you,
just us.

How does that sound?

Well, okay, I guess, just so

long as you know the score, DK.

Score?

Oh, I almost forgot.

Be right back after the game.

See you, Candy.

Donkey Kong!