Donkey Kong Country (1997–2000): Season 2, Episode 1 - Kongo Bongo Festival of Lights - full transcript
Tis the season for gift-giving and fireworks. It's also the one day of the year that there's a truce between the Apes and Lizards. The Apes sit around the Crystal Coconut and exchange gifts...
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪
♪ Donkey Kong ♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
CRANKY: "“Twas the night
before the festival, and all
through the cabin, not a
creature was stirrin", no
gorillas were gabbin."”
The banana peels were tossed by
the piano with care, in hopes
that more bananas
soon would be there.
Mmm... Bananas.
That"s my favourite
part of the holiday.
That"s your favourite part of
any day, DK!
[Laughing]
What"s your favourite part
of the holiday, little buddy?
Opening presents, especially
when it"s a junior jungle gym,
complete with mega monkey bars!
[Laughing]
Diddy... How did you know?
That"s just what
I always wanted.
[Chuckling]
What"s your favourite part of
the holiday, Cranky?
The truce between
lizards and apes.
The Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights is the one day a year we
don"t have to worry about that
pond gack K. Rool trying to
steal the Crystal Coconut!
DK: The one day a year it"s
completely safe.
♪
KLUMP: Squadron 10!
Your mine car is clear for
take-off on track 7.
It"s a low clearance tunnel so
watch your...
[Crashing]
Heads... >>
That"s the last of the
Kritter troops, sir.
Everybody"s gone to celebrate
the Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights day with their families.
Splendid, just splendid!
Well, you know my holiday motto,
right, Klump?
Yes sir!
Even cerebrally challenged
homespun pinhead subordinates
need to spend time with their
scaly loved ones.
Speaking of cerebrally
challenged, where"s Krusha?
He"s in the vault, sir.
He"s rummaging through all your
junk to see if he can find
something festive to bring home
for the holidays.
I found somethin...
K. ROOL: What have you got
there, Krusha?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, candles!
Those aren"t candles!
Those are...
Fireworks.
I just love fireworks.
They"re my favourite
part o' the holiday.
Oh, my favourite part is
going back to the swamplands to
play gator-games with all my
slithering siblings.
We just roll around in the muck
all day, drinking bog-nog and
exchanging villain stories...
And then later, we will gorge
on one of mummy"s
home-made mud pies!
Oh,
I can almost smell it now... [Sniffing]
Whoa!
Well, General, I"m off!
Happy Festival of Lights Day!
Same to you, your
sinister slipperiness, sir.
Better hurry, Krusha...
Your family"s waiting.
Bye,
bye... >> Happy holidays!
KRUSHA: Aren"t
you going home?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure, I was just,
um... lockin" up!
Oh, I got a big day planned, uh,
wouldn"t miss it for the world.
Yeah, you go on, you silly
salamander, and I... I order you
to have fun!
D"okay, uh, bye bye...
And remember to watch your...
KRUSHA: Oof!
Head.
[Sighing]
Well, I may not have
anywhere to go, but at least
I"ve got the whole
place to myself.
♪ I"ve always
been the only one ♪
♪ All on my own,
just a wayward son ♪
♪ And I bet they"re all together
eatin" pizza mud-pies ♪
♪ As they cozy on the sofa
watching swamp gas rise ♪
♪ I"ve got no family tree ♪
♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,
a sapling, that"s me ♪
♪ I never had no next of kin
♪ Just a few hundred teeth,
and oily skin ♪
♪ And I still remember mama"s
rotten turtle egg stew ♪
♪ And her beetle sandwiches and
picnics too ♪
♪ I got no family tree
♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,
a sapling, that"s me ♪
♪ I got no family tree
♪ No one to celebrate the
Festival with me ♪
[Sobbing]
As I recall, when I was a
kid, someone taught me a little
poem to cheer me
up... Now what was it?
Oh yeah, I remember now.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me...
Huh.
Dag-newt,
what was that last line?
Huh, oh well, no matter.
There"s no one to
hear but me anyway.
DK: This year"s Festival of
Lights is gonna be the best
ever, little buddy!
Wait till you see
my fireworks display!
I"d rather see my presents.
Oh, tell me what you got me, DK!
Please, please, tell me, please!
Okay, but you can"t tell
anybody, because I got the same
gift for everyone.
It"s big... >> Yeah?
It"s beautiful!
Yeah?
It"s a banana!
Yeah-ha... Huh?
[Laughing]
Yeah right, as if!
No, seriously,
what did ya get me?
No, no, don"t tell me.
Let it be a surprise.
Yeah, a surprise.
Sure.
[Sniffing]
Mmm... I smell...
banana cream pie!
Hi, DK!
Hi, Creamy!
Uh, I mean Candy.
I thought you"d be on the
beach setting up
the fireworks display.
You know how much I love your
banana cream pies.
Well not as much as you"re
gonna love the
present I got you!
Uh... Present?
No peeking until later.
I can"t wait to see
what you got me.
Ah, I gotta go.
Hey, Donkey Dude!
Hi, Funky, going surfing?
Negative, D-man, I"m trippin'
a move to Cranky"s to deliver
your present.
You"ll be cruisin' your karma
on a high tide real soon!
[Laughing]
It sounds like everyone got
me really great presents.
Oh, not everyone!
I"m sure Cranky got you the same
useless gift he gets
you every year...
BOTH: Glow in
the dark pyjamas.
My gift will make up for it.
Ooh, speaking of which, I better
go wrap it.
You better start setting up
those fireworks, otherwise the
only thing lighting up the sky
tonight will be your pyjamas!
[Laughing]
How can I think about
fireworks when I have to get new
presents for everyone?
Oh, what am I gonna do?
I know!
DK: Oh, you gotta help me,
Inka Dinka Doo!
I"m desperate!
What should I do?
Look into the heart of your
enemy to discover the greatest
gift of all... >>
Uh... Say what?
Thanks to Inka Dinka Doo"s
Inky Dinky stinky advice, now
I"ve wasted even more time,
and now I...
[Crashing]
[Gasping]
The enemy...
You wouldn"t hit a lizard with
glasses, would ya?
I can"t.
It"s the Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights day, a truce between
lizards and apes?
Good, "cause I don't even
know an optometrist.
It"s good to know I'm not the
only one who"s
alone for the holidays.
Oh, I"m not alone.
I"m meeting my friends later at
the beach for a big party!
Then I guess I am the only
one all alone today.
Aren"t you behind enemy lines?
Well I w... I was just, uh,
well, to be honest, I... I come
out here every year
to see the fireworks.
I just love them fireworks!
Well,
there isn"t goin' to be any.
No fireworks?
But that"s all I got!
Sorry, but I have to find
presents for all
my friends first.
Say,
uh... Being a truce and all...
Maybe I could help
you find them presents!
You mean it?
Affirmative!
And, uh... Maybe in return,
you"d let me
have a front-row seat for them
fireworks, huh?
It"s a deal!
Arr, mateys.
It"s Kongo Bongo's Festival of
Lights Day,
the day of the legendary truce.
So I"s be thinkin', what better
day to steal the Crystal Coconut
from the unsuspectin" apes...
then on the day
they ain "t suspectin"?
Aye, and what better gift to
steal than the one ye be wantin"
most, eh, Capitain?
There be one thing I be
wanting more than the Crystal
Coconut, mateys.
It"s something I lost years ago.
[Sighing]
But I can"t take what be lost.
But I can take everything else!
So let"s be doing
what pirates do best!
ALL: Steal booty!
DK: Wow!
There"s so many
cool things in here!
Take whatever ya want, I"m
sure King K. Rool wouldn"t miss
half the junk in there.
You should see all the great
stuff I"m finding!
Hey,
what are all these clown clothes for?
Uh... yeah, you better
leave those behind.
Thanks to you, I have great
presents for everyone!
I wish I had someone to give
presents to... and a warm house
to go home to... and knitted
slippers with webbed toes...
and bog-nog,
and home made mud pies...
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me...
Remember... who?
I dunno, I can never
remember the last part.
All I know is someone sang it to
me when I was knee-high to a
newt,
and I can"t remember who... >> Hey!
I found the perfect gifts!
Well done, soldier!
What are they?
Candles!
KLUMP: No!
Those are... Fireworks.
I thought they
looked kinda familiar.
What"s taking DK so long?
He should"ve finished setting up
the fireworks by now.
I"ll go check on him.
Don"t worry, Cranky, DK knows
how important today is.
He wouldn"t goof off.
Wheeeeeeee!
[Snoring]
Whoa!
General Klump!
I"ve found the perfect
gift for everyone!
Mine cars!
Hey, what"s this lever for?
Don"t pull the lever!
Whoa!
Maybe this isn"t the perfect
gift, after all.
Uh, bad news, Cranky.
DK... wasn"t at the pier.
That numbskull!
I'll bet he hasn"t even started
setting up the fireworks,
has he?
No... but it gets worse.
DK"s the master of ceremonies!
Who"s gonna carry
the Crystal Coconut?
SKURVY: D'arrr.
Pick me, pick me!
I told you it got worse!
Skurvy!
What brings your skanky hide to
Kongo Bongo?
I come to claim me birthright.
The Crystal Coconut!
Isn"t there anything else you
ever want,
besides the Crystal Coconut?
Y"aye, there be one thing I
be wantin", even more than the
Crystal Coconut, but even a
pirate can"t have
everything he wants...
Now hand over the Crystal
Coconut,
or I"ll blow ya to bitties!
At least he"s not stealing
the presents!
Thar be more booty?
You wouldn"t dare.
Aye, I would, "cause...
ALL: Pirates be pure scum!
Donkey Kong!
I can"t believe I didn't
think of this earlier.
Everyone loves books, and King
K. Rool has hundreds!
What do you think would make a
great gift, General Klump?
How about a pair of gator
galoshes with monkey fur linin"?
"Cause that's what we" ll be if
King K"rool finds out we've been
snoopin" around in
his personal library.
[Gasping]
Intruders!
No, you invited me!
No, on the island!
BOTH: Pirates!
The Crystal Coconut!
Oh no!
KLUMP: But it"s Festival of
Lights Day, don"t they know
about the truce?
Yeah,
but pirates don"t honour truces!
BOTH: They be pure scum!
Heaven only knows what I"ll
be when King K. Rool finds out
that the Crystal
Coconut was stolen...
By someone other than me!
Not if you help me stop them!
Where in boiled
bananas have you been?
Shopping?
What?
Everyone got me really great
presents, so I just wanted all
of your presents to be special,
too!
Well good for you,
you knucklehead.
In the meantime, Skurvy"s stolen
all the presents,
and the Crystal Coconut!
What"ll we do, DK?
Don"t worry, I've got an idea.
Now I"m worried.
But I"ll need his help.
Howdy there, neighbours!
Pond gack!
Truce or no truce, hide the
Crystal Coconut!
Uh, it"s already stolen.
Oh yeah, which reminds me...
What are we all
standing around for?
I only see Kutlass
and Green Kroc.
[Loudly] What are we lookin"
at?
[Shushing]
All you have to do is keep a
lookout for Skurvy, Diddy and I
will take care of the rest.
Affirmative!
Hip-hup!
DIDDY: Shush, will ya?!
[Quietly] Hip-hup,
hip-hup, hip-hup...
Looks like we be all done!
Arr,
what about the rest of the booty?
What booty?
DIDDY: That thar
booty on the beach!
Skurvy didn"t say nothin'
about booty on the beach.
You tink we should take it?
DK AND DIDDY: Aye!
"Cause you be pure scum!
Arrr!
BOTH: Arrr, that we be!
[Diddy chuckling]
Your plan is working, DK!
Like I said, little buddy,
nothing can go wrong.
Oh, I could think of somethin...
Huh?
Your plan was as
stinky as bilge water.
What were ya thinkin"?
That me mates would load the
ship down with fireworks, then
ye"d bargain for the Crystal
Coconut by threatenin"
to blow us to bits?
Yep, that"s pretty much it.
I be thankin" ya, 'cause ya
saved me the trouble o" stealin'
"em!
At long last,
the Crystal Coconut!
It be the only booty I ever be
truly wantin"!
I thought there was something
else you were searching for.
Aye.
It be me long lost brother.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ And lonely as can
be ♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother,
Skurvy >> Arr.
Now where have
I heard that before?
Set sail for
shark-infested waters.
I wanna finish these
land-lubbers off!
I am bound, by loyalty to my
superior, to fight till the
death,
to retrieve the Crystal Coconut.
BOTH: Fight to the death?
Even pirates
don"t fight to the death.
Yeah, well, I admit I"ve
never actually had to fight to
the death, but I"m bound by
lizard law to say it.
But I have blown things to bits,
so hand over the Crystal
Coconut, ya scum-sucking seadog.
Who"re you calling a
scum-sucking seadog, you
scum-sucking swamp-sucker!
Why you little trent-toed...
I"ll skin ya for shark bait,
y'overweight land-lubber!
Hah!
Are these two of the biggest
goofus-doofuses you"ve ever laid
eyes on, or what?
Yeah, it"s pretty sad.
Sad!
That"s it!
What are ya talking about?
The poem.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother, Skurvy
Arrr.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother, Skurvy
Yeah, that"s it!
That"s the last line!
But how did you know the endin"?
How did ye know it at all?
Little brother!
Big brother!
Run for cover!
Fireworks... >>
They be me favourite...
Mine too!
That "s 'cause as a young" un,
ye played with "em, and set the
swamps on fire, burnin" us outta
house and home.
I did?
I did!
I remember now,
and then... and then you...
You took the blame for me!
I was run outta the swamps
faster than you could say "“Get
outta here,
ya little arson dirt-bag."”
Why d"ya think I went off to sea
to become a pirate?
Ya silly seadog.
You did all that for me?
That"s what family's for.
CRANKY: Well, DK, it"s not
the way I would have done it, I
gotta admit, this is the best
Kongo Bongo Festival
of Lights Day ever...
Yeah, but all of the presents
got blown up.
Now we have nothing to celebrate
Festival of Lights Day with!
Today isn"t about presents,
it"s about being with family.
That must be what Inka Dinka
Doo was trying to tell me.
"“Look into the heart of your
enemy to discover the greatest
gift of all!"”
And the greatest gift of all
is spending time with
family and friends.
Yeah, even villains need family.
CRANKY: Speaking of which, I
wonder what K. Rool thinks of
his new house-guests!
[Chuckling]
SKURVY: Arrr, the sea was
angry that day, brother, and so
was the great white
I be fightin" off...
A day I remember well.
[Crashing]
That shark be the biggest,
meanest, ugliest thing ye ever
set yer eyes on!
I dunno... once King K. Rool
had a goitre the
size of a watermelon.
It was pretty darn-near the
ugliest thing I"ve ever seen.
[Laughing]
General Klump, what is going on?
King K. Rool,
you"ll never believe it!
I found my family!
Skurvy here"s my
long-lost brother!
If you think this low-life,
mooching scally-wag scum of a
brother of yours is staying
here, you are sadly mistaken,
Klump.
No, sir!
He"s not stayin'.
I"m leavin'!
What?!
I"m gonna become a seadog!
BOTH: Pure scum!
You"re not leaving!
I forbid it!
Says you.
Don"t point that thing at me.
I"ll skin you with my teeth, you
over-stuffed
piece of shark bait!
Who ya callin" over-stuffed,
ya ten-ton lard-back lump o"
pond scum?
I can"t believe it.
They... they"re fightin'!
Over me!
K. ROOL: Listen here, you
uneducated saltwater
swabby scab!
SKURVY: Ye should know, ya
bulgy-eyed bookworm!
K. ROOL: You
thick-headed tadpole!
This is the best Festival of
Lights Day ever!
You good-for-nothing, slimy
sack of scum-sucking scourge!
Hey, leave my mother outta this.
Brainless buccaneer.
Whale bait!
Beefy-tongue.
Blubber butt!
Vile vermin.
Pond-toothed pond gack!
Malfunctioning twit!
Bilge rat!
Slimy-skinned bottom-feeder!
Yellow-bellied land-lubber!
You useless newt!
Diseased ruffian!
♪
♪ Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma
♪
♪ Donkey Kong ♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah, Donkey Kong
♪
♪ Ooh ♪ Ah ♪ Ooh-ah,
Donkey Kong ♪ Hey-oh
♪ Look out down
below ♪ Here he comes
♪ Banana slamma ♪
Kongo Bongo"s hero ♪
♪ Hey-oh ♪ Donkey Kong,
let"s go ♪
♪ Let"s go ♪
♪ Here he comes ♪ Banana slamma
CRANKY: "“Twas the night
before the festival, and all
through the cabin, not a
creature was stirrin", no
gorillas were gabbin."”
The banana peels were tossed by
the piano with care, in hopes
that more bananas
soon would be there.
Mmm... Bananas.
That"s my favourite
part of the holiday.
That"s your favourite part of
any day, DK!
[Laughing]
What"s your favourite part
of the holiday, little buddy?
Opening presents, especially
when it"s a junior jungle gym,
complete with mega monkey bars!
[Laughing]
Diddy... How did you know?
That"s just what
I always wanted.
[Chuckling]
What"s your favourite part of
the holiday, Cranky?
The truce between
lizards and apes.
The Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights is the one day a year we
don"t have to worry about that
pond gack K. Rool trying to
steal the Crystal Coconut!
DK: The one day a year it"s
completely safe.
♪
KLUMP: Squadron 10!
Your mine car is clear for
take-off on track 7.
It"s a low clearance tunnel so
watch your...
[Crashing]
Heads... >>
That"s the last of the
Kritter troops, sir.
Everybody"s gone to celebrate
the Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights day with their families.
Splendid, just splendid!
Well, you know my holiday motto,
right, Klump?
Yes sir!
Even cerebrally challenged
homespun pinhead subordinates
need to spend time with their
scaly loved ones.
Speaking of cerebrally
challenged, where"s Krusha?
He"s in the vault, sir.
He"s rummaging through all your
junk to see if he can find
something festive to bring home
for the holidays.
I found somethin...
K. ROOL: What have you got
there, Krusha?
Ooh, ooh, ooh, candles!
Those aren"t candles!
Those are...
Fireworks.
I just love fireworks.
They"re my favourite
part o' the holiday.
Oh, my favourite part is
going back to the swamplands to
play gator-games with all my
slithering siblings.
We just roll around in the muck
all day, drinking bog-nog and
exchanging villain stories...
And then later, we will gorge
on one of mummy"s
home-made mud pies!
Oh,
I can almost smell it now... [Sniffing]
Whoa!
Well, General, I"m off!
Happy Festival of Lights Day!
Same to you, your
sinister slipperiness, sir.
Better hurry, Krusha...
Your family"s waiting.
Bye,
bye... >> Happy holidays!
KRUSHA: Aren"t
you going home?
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, sure, I was just,
um... lockin" up!
Oh, I got a big day planned, uh,
wouldn"t miss it for the world.
Yeah, you go on, you silly
salamander, and I... I order you
to have fun!
D"okay, uh, bye bye...
And remember to watch your...
KRUSHA: Oof!
Head.
[Sighing]
Well, I may not have
anywhere to go, but at least
I"ve got the whole
place to myself.
♪ I"ve always
been the only one ♪
♪ All on my own,
just a wayward son ♪
♪ And I bet they"re all together
eatin" pizza mud-pies ♪
♪ As they cozy on the sofa
watching swamp gas rise ♪
♪ I"ve got no family tree ♪
♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,
a sapling, that"s me ♪
♪ I never had no next of kin
♪ Just a few hundred teeth,
and oily skin ♪
♪ And I still remember mama"s
rotten turtle egg stew ♪
♪ And her beetle sandwiches and
picnics too ♪
♪ I got no family tree
♪ Just a bush, a twig, a branch,
a sapling, that"s me ♪
♪ I got no family tree
♪ No one to celebrate the
Festival with me ♪
[Sobbing]
As I recall, when I was a
kid, someone taught me a little
poem to cheer me
up... Now what was it?
Oh yeah, I remember now.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me...
Huh.
Dag-newt,
what was that last line?
Huh, oh well, no matter.
There"s no one to
hear but me anyway.
DK: This year"s Festival of
Lights is gonna be the best
ever, little buddy!
Wait till you see
my fireworks display!
I"d rather see my presents.
Oh, tell me what you got me, DK!
Please, please, tell me, please!
Okay, but you can"t tell
anybody, because I got the same
gift for everyone.
It"s big... >> Yeah?
It"s beautiful!
Yeah?
It"s a banana!
Yeah-ha... Huh?
[Laughing]
Yeah right, as if!
No, seriously,
what did ya get me?
No, no, don"t tell me.
Let it be a surprise.
Yeah, a surprise.
Sure.
[Sniffing]
Mmm... I smell...
banana cream pie!
Hi, DK!
Hi, Creamy!
Uh, I mean Candy.
I thought you"d be on the
beach setting up
the fireworks display.
You know how much I love your
banana cream pies.
Well not as much as you"re
gonna love the
present I got you!
Uh... Present?
No peeking until later.
I can"t wait to see
what you got me.
Ah, I gotta go.
Hey, Donkey Dude!
Hi, Funky, going surfing?
Negative, D-man, I"m trippin'
a move to Cranky"s to deliver
your present.
You"ll be cruisin' your karma
on a high tide real soon!
[Laughing]
It sounds like everyone got
me really great presents.
Oh, not everyone!
I"m sure Cranky got you the same
useless gift he gets
you every year...
BOTH: Glow in
the dark pyjamas.
My gift will make up for it.
Ooh, speaking of which, I better
go wrap it.
You better start setting up
those fireworks, otherwise the
only thing lighting up the sky
tonight will be your pyjamas!
[Laughing]
How can I think about
fireworks when I have to get new
presents for everyone?
Oh, what am I gonna do?
I know!
DK: Oh, you gotta help me,
Inka Dinka Doo!
I"m desperate!
What should I do?
Look into the heart of your
enemy to discover the greatest
gift of all... >>
Uh... Say what?
Thanks to Inka Dinka Doo"s
Inky Dinky stinky advice, now
I"ve wasted even more time,
and now I...
[Crashing]
[Gasping]
The enemy...
You wouldn"t hit a lizard with
glasses, would ya?
I can"t.
It"s the Kongo Bongo Festival of
Lights day, a truce between
lizards and apes?
Good, "cause I don't even
know an optometrist.
It"s good to know I'm not the
only one who"s
alone for the holidays.
Oh, I"m not alone.
I"m meeting my friends later at
the beach for a big party!
Then I guess I am the only
one all alone today.
Aren"t you behind enemy lines?
Well I w... I was just, uh,
well, to be honest, I... I come
out here every year
to see the fireworks.
I just love them fireworks!
Well,
there isn"t goin' to be any.
No fireworks?
But that"s all I got!
Sorry, but I have to find
presents for all
my friends first.
Say,
uh... Being a truce and all...
Maybe I could help
you find them presents!
You mean it?
Affirmative!
And, uh... Maybe in return,
you"d let me
have a front-row seat for them
fireworks, huh?
It"s a deal!
Arr, mateys.
It"s Kongo Bongo's Festival of
Lights Day,
the day of the legendary truce.
So I"s be thinkin', what better
day to steal the Crystal Coconut
from the unsuspectin" apes...
then on the day
they ain "t suspectin"?
Aye, and what better gift to
steal than the one ye be wantin"
most, eh, Capitain?
There be one thing I be
wanting more than the Crystal
Coconut, mateys.
It"s something I lost years ago.
[Sighing]
But I can"t take what be lost.
But I can take everything else!
So let"s be doing
what pirates do best!
ALL: Steal booty!
DK: Wow!
There"s so many
cool things in here!
Take whatever ya want, I"m
sure King K. Rool wouldn"t miss
half the junk in there.
You should see all the great
stuff I"m finding!
Hey,
what are all these clown clothes for?
Uh... yeah, you better
leave those behind.
Thanks to you, I have great
presents for everyone!
I wish I had someone to give
presents to... and a warm house
to go home to... and knitted
slippers with webbed toes...
and bog-nog,
and home made mud pies...
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me...
Remember... who?
I dunno, I can never
remember the last part.
All I know is someone sang it to
me when I was knee-high to a
newt,
and I can"t remember who... >> Hey!
I found the perfect gifts!
Well done, soldier!
What are they?
Candles!
KLUMP: No!
Those are... Fireworks.
I thought they
looked kinda familiar.
What"s taking DK so long?
He should"ve finished setting up
the fireworks by now.
I"ll go check on him.
Don"t worry, Cranky, DK knows
how important today is.
He wouldn"t goof off.
Wheeeeeeee!
[Snoring]
Whoa!
General Klump!
I"ve found the perfect
gift for everyone!
Mine cars!
Hey, what"s this lever for?
Don"t pull the lever!
Whoa!
Maybe this isn"t the perfect
gift, after all.
Uh, bad news, Cranky.
DK... wasn"t at the pier.
That numbskull!
I'll bet he hasn"t even started
setting up the fireworks,
has he?
No... but it gets worse.
DK"s the master of ceremonies!
Who"s gonna carry
the Crystal Coconut?
SKURVY: D'arrr.
Pick me, pick me!
I told you it got worse!
Skurvy!
What brings your skanky hide to
Kongo Bongo?
I come to claim me birthright.
The Crystal Coconut!
Isn"t there anything else you
ever want,
besides the Crystal Coconut?
Y"aye, there be one thing I
be wantin", even more than the
Crystal Coconut, but even a
pirate can"t have
everything he wants...
Now hand over the Crystal
Coconut,
or I"ll blow ya to bitties!
At least he"s not stealing
the presents!
Thar be more booty?
You wouldn"t dare.
Aye, I would, "cause...
ALL: Pirates be pure scum!
Donkey Kong!
I can"t believe I didn't
think of this earlier.
Everyone loves books, and King
K. Rool has hundreds!
What do you think would make a
great gift, General Klump?
How about a pair of gator
galoshes with monkey fur linin"?
"Cause that's what we" ll be if
King K"rool finds out we've been
snoopin" around in
his personal library.
[Gasping]
Intruders!
No, you invited me!
No, on the island!
BOTH: Pirates!
The Crystal Coconut!
Oh no!
KLUMP: But it"s Festival of
Lights Day, don"t they know
about the truce?
Yeah,
but pirates don"t honour truces!
BOTH: They be pure scum!
Heaven only knows what I"ll
be when King K. Rool finds out
that the Crystal
Coconut was stolen...
By someone other than me!
Not if you help me stop them!
Where in boiled
bananas have you been?
Shopping?
What?
Everyone got me really great
presents, so I just wanted all
of your presents to be special,
too!
Well good for you,
you knucklehead.
In the meantime, Skurvy"s stolen
all the presents,
and the Crystal Coconut!
What"ll we do, DK?
Don"t worry, I've got an idea.
Now I"m worried.
But I"ll need his help.
Howdy there, neighbours!
Pond gack!
Truce or no truce, hide the
Crystal Coconut!
Uh, it"s already stolen.
Oh yeah, which reminds me...
What are we all
standing around for?
I only see Kutlass
and Green Kroc.
[Loudly] What are we lookin"
at?
[Shushing]
All you have to do is keep a
lookout for Skurvy, Diddy and I
will take care of the rest.
Affirmative!
Hip-hup!
DIDDY: Shush, will ya?!
[Quietly] Hip-hup,
hip-hup, hip-hup...
Looks like we be all done!
Arr,
what about the rest of the booty?
What booty?
DIDDY: That thar
booty on the beach!
Skurvy didn"t say nothin'
about booty on the beach.
You tink we should take it?
DK AND DIDDY: Aye!
"Cause you be pure scum!
Arrr!
BOTH: Arrr, that we be!
[Diddy chuckling]
Your plan is working, DK!
Like I said, little buddy,
nothing can go wrong.
Oh, I could think of somethin...
Huh?
Your plan was as
stinky as bilge water.
What were ya thinkin"?
That me mates would load the
ship down with fireworks, then
ye"d bargain for the Crystal
Coconut by threatenin"
to blow us to bits?
Yep, that"s pretty much it.
I be thankin" ya, 'cause ya
saved me the trouble o" stealin'
"em!
At long last,
the Crystal Coconut!
It be the only booty I ever be
truly wantin"!
I thought there was something
else you were searching for.
Aye.
It be me long lost brother.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ And lonely as can
be ♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother,
Skurvy >> Arr.
Now where have
I heard that before?
Set sail for
shark-infested waters.
I wanna finish these
land-lubbers off!
I am bound, by loyalty to my
superior, to fight till the
death,
to retrieve the Crystal Coconut.
BOTH: Fight to the death?
Even pirates
don"t fight to the death.
Yeah, well, I admit I"ve
never actually had to fight to
the death, but I"m bound by
lizard law to say it.
But I have blown things to bits,
so hand over the Crystal
Coconut, ya scum-sucking seadog.
Who"re you calling a
scum-sucking seadog, you
scum-sucking swamp-sucker!
Why you little trent-toed...
I"ll skin ya for shark bait,
y'overweight land-lubber!
Hah!
Are these two of the biggest
goofus-doofuses you"ve ever laid
eyes on, or what?
Yeah, it"s pretty sad.
Sad!
That"s it!
What are ya talking about?
The poem.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother, Skurvy
Arrr.
♪ Whenever you"re sad ♪
♪ Lonely as can be
♪ Just remember me
♪ Your big brother, Skurvy
Yeah, that"s it!
That"s the last line!
But how did you know the endin"?
How did ye know it at all?
Little brother!
Big brother!
Run for cover!
Fireworks... >>
They be me favourite...
Mine too!
That "s 'cause as a young" un,
ye played with "em, and set the
swamps on fire, burnin" us outta
house and home.
I did?
I did!
I remember now,
and then... and then you...
You took the blame for me!
I was run outta the swamps
faster than you could say "“Get
outta here,
ya little arson dirt-bag."”
Why d"ya think I went off to sea
to become a pirate?
Ya silly seadog.
You did all that for me?
That"s what family's for.
CRANKY: Well, DK, it"s not
the way I would have done it, I
gotta admit, this is the best
Kongo Bongo Festival
of Lights Day ever...
Yeah, but all of the presents
got blown up.
Now we have nothing to celebrate
Festival of Lights Day with!
Today isn"t about presents,
it"s about being with family.
That must be what Inka Dinka
Doo was trying to tell me.
"“Look into the heart of your
enemy to discover the greatest
gift of all!"”
And the greatest gift of all
is spending time with
family and friends.
Yeah, even villains need family.
CRANKY: Speaking of which, I
wonder what K. Rool thinks of
his new house-guests!
[Chuckling]
SKURVY: Arrr, the sea was
angry that day, brother, and so
was the great white
I be fightin" off...
A day I remember well.
[Crashing]
That shark be the biggest,
meanest, ugliest thing ye ever
set yer eyes on!
I dunno... once King K. Rool
had a goitre the
size of a watermelon.
It was pretty darn-near the
ugliest thing I"ve ever seen.
[Laughing]
General Klump, what is going on?
King K. Rool,
you"ll never believe it!
I found my family!
Skurvy here"s my
long-lost brother!
If you think this low-life,
mooching scally-wag scum of a
brother of yours is staying
here, you are sadly mistaken,
Klump.
No, sir!
He"s not stayin'.
I"m leavin'!
What?!
I"m gonna become a seadog!
BOTH: Pure scum!
You"re not leaving!
I forbid it!
Says you.
Don"t point that thing at me.
I"ll skin you with my teeth, you
over-stuffed
piece of shark bait!
Who ya callin" over-stuffed,
ya ten-ton lard-back lump o"
pond scum?
I can"t believe it.
They... they"re fightin'!
Over me!
K. ROOL: Listen here, you
uneducated saltwater
swabby scab!
SKURVY: Ye should know, ya
bulgy-eyed bookworm!
K. ROOL: You
thick-headed tadpole!
This is the best Festival of
Lights Day ever!
You good-for-nothing, slimy
sack of scum-sucking scourge!
Hey, leave my mother outta this.
Brainless buccaneer.
Whale bait!
Beefy-tongue.
Blubber butt!
Vile vermin.
Pond-toothed pond gack!
Malfunctioning twit!
Bilge rat!
Slimy-skinned bottom-feeder!
Yellow-bellied land-lubber!
You useless newt!
Diseased ruffian!
♪