Doll & Em (2013–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Two - full transcript

[Music playing]

[Music playing]

- Hi, Em.
- Hi.

Oh, my gosh.
How are you?

- Hey.
- Nice to see you too.

This is Jane, our publicist.

- Oh, hi.
- Yes, I'm the publicist.

- Oh, great, very nice to meet you.
- Lovely to meet you.

Oh, well, I'm...
I'm up for anything.

Whatever you...
Whatever you need.

- Bonjour.
- Bonjour.



Francois Desdemond.

This is my wife, Aurelia.

Aurelia? I'm Emily.
Nice to meet you.

Perhaps I can send you
something to your agent?

- That would be great.
- Right

Yes. Absolutely. Yeah.

- Nice to see you again.
- Lovely to see you.

How you doing?
Everything good?

- Everything's great.
- All right.

Good to see you again.
This is my wife, Jean.

- Hi, Margo. Casting.
- Oh, yes, of course.

This is Tallulah.

- Hi, Tallulah.
- Nice to meet you.

- And you. And you.
- Finally.



So how's it been going?

Oh, it's great.
We're so happy.

Oh, well, we'll have to...
Have to hang at some point.

- Definitely. I would love that.
- Okay.

Thank you.

[Music playing on TV]

Look at that. Whoo!

Hot diggity!

And in those days
the king's word was law.

- So nice to meet you.
- I know.

- I've been dying to meet you.
- I know. Me, you, too.

- Look at this spread.
- It's unreal.

I can't get over it.

Oh, L.A.

Is your family here with you?

- No, sadly.
- No?

No, they're back in New York.

It must be so hard.

It is.
It's really hard,

but, you know, it's good.

I'm... I'm just trying to focus
on the movie at the moment.

Of course,
but it's so exciting.

- It is so exciting.
- I mean, it's your movie, Emily.

I know.

I'm crazy about the script.
Aren't you?

I am, yeah.

Your character?

She's like the Empress Wu Zetian
or Queen Victoria

or, like, a...
The Godfather as a woman.

I mean, it's awesome.

I mean it's so rare
to find a part like this.

Such a strong, complex
female character.

Treasure it.

Okay.

Well, it's always
darkest just before...

[Laughing] Doll.

I'm sorry about
my friend, Brian.

- Are you two all right in here?
- Yeah.

[Whispering] I'm so sorry.

I don't know why she didn't bring
a babysitter. What happened?

[Whispering] It doesn't matter.
It looks terrifying in there.

I'd rather be in here.
It's fine.

I don't want to be
in there either.

It's miserable. I wish I
was in here with you.

I know, exactly.
I know.

[Normal volume] We're gonna
be good, aren't we, Brian?

We're gonna have fun.

Everybody, hello, welcome.

Um, please don't be alarmed.

I'm really not going to take
very much time saying anything.

I just want to say that I think when
we look back on what we are all here

doing together
in years to come,

I think we're going
to be so, so proud.

That's it. That's all
I wanted to say.

Without further ado,

I'm going to turn you
over to our own

young Coppola, Mike.

[Applause, cheers]

It's not really Coppola,
it's just kind of my own thing.

Um...

It's so rare to get a
chance to work on something

that you're
so passionate about.

I feel so connected to...

You're going to have
to speak louder, Mike.

I... I feel so connected
to this story,

starting with my grandma, Patty.
She was a very,

very powerful woman.

Um...

Okay, now, she never wrenched
people's teeth out of their head

[chuckles] Or inherited a ruthless
crime syndicate, but she...

- Go, Emily!
- She was the heart of the family.

- Oh, God. Thank you.
- So let's raise a glass to Emily.

- To Emily.
- Our modern-day Joan of Arc.

- Cheers.
- Emily. Hear, hear.

And... and... and

to the leading lady
of my life...

You own me, Susan.

Oh, I hope everyone heard that.

[All laugh]

And, um, lastly...

Look, I know you're not
a strong woman, but, Edgar,

I owe you everything.
We all do.

- [Clapping, cheering]
- Yeah, Edgar!

I haven't really found
my feet with Mike yet.

Not sure he likes me.

Oh, God.

Isn't that such
a relief at our age?

So much simpler.

You know they don't
want to fuck you anymore,

so you can just be the woman
you always wanted to be.

Finally.

Okay, so, the cushions
are gonna be, like, rocks

or tiny islands or lily pads
that can take your weight.

Can they be sharks?

Yes, good idea.

You're Emily's
assistant, right?

- Yeah.
- I'm Edgar's.

- Dolly, nice to meet you.
- Hi.

Well, I mean, I'm not really Emily's
assistant. I'm her best friend.

I'm just here to help her
while she does this film.

Just an excuse
to hang out, really.

But she's paying you, right?

Yeah, sure.

Okay, ready?

Out of my way,
I'm gonna land...

I'm gonna ride
the biggest shark here.

That was amazing.
Did you see that?

- [Crying]
- Are you okay?

I don't know where he's
hurt himself, quite frankly.

- What happened to him?
- Oh, love.

Oh, sweetie.
Are you okay?

What the hell happened?

Well, we were just
playing on the sofa

- and I think your grandson fell off.
- Son.

Wha... what happened, Doll?
What did you do?

Well, we were just
jumping off the sofa.

It was fun...
Into the sea.

But there are sharks.

Yeah, but that's not
quite fair, Brian,

because you put all the cushions out
and you wanted them to be sharks.

But I was drowning.

Oh, this woman would never
let you drown, sweetheart.

Well, it was a game.

- Even in a game.
- Susan, I'm so, so sorry.

I...

Dolly is too.
Aren't you, Doll?

- You're sorry.
- Yeah, no, I'm sorry, Brian.

That's it? I mean, tell him
that you would never let

anything bad
happen to him, right?

Go on, Doll.

I would never let anything
bad happen to you, Brian.

Don't patronize him.

I promise, I would never let
anything happen to you, Brian.

"And I would never
let you drown."

Yeah, but how could I if...

Dolly!

And I would... I would obviously
never let you drown.

"Or be eaten
by sharks."

See? It's okay now.

God, what a nightmare.
I'm so sorry.

I saw some water wings earlier if
you want to make believe again,

safely, with me.

Oh.

Can I just say, I...

Idolize you.

You are my total
inspiration for this role.

I can't believe I'm...
I'm here with you.

Oh, no, no. But where are the
water wings? Are they nearby?

I'll go... I'll go get them.
Yeah, I'll go grab them.

- And you're all right, Brian?
- We're gonna get the water wings.

You in there?

- Doll?
- What?

Look, it's okay. It's no big deal.
I promise.

No big deal?

Susan Sarandon
just shout-eat me, Em!

I know, I know.
It was awful,

but who cares, really?

- Should we just go home?
- Yes.

Okay, I'll say goodbye and
I'll meet you outside, okay?

- Okay?
- Yes.

Thank you so much.
It was such a great party.

I loved it.

Oh, yeah, I've... I've just
got a big day tomorrow.

[Knocks on door]

I'm meeting you outside. I heard,
I was just gathering mysel...

Oh, good. I can me...
I can certainly meet you outside.

That's all right.

Don't... hello.

Did you think
I was someone else?

- Yeah, sorry about that.
- Oh, it's okay,

but you're not leaving?
Don't leave.

Well, I was gonna...
I was supposed to leave.

[Giggles]

Who would want that?

Aren't parties weird?
Really?

I...

- I know that's such a cliche.
- Why do you say?

But what I mean is that I always
find even at my own parties

that all my best friends

become sort of acquaintances

and all my acquaintances
become people

I've never met
before in my life.

Then you meet somebody,

you know, out of the blue,
you don't know at all,

and they're the person
you want to...

Hang out with.

[Faint buzzing]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

The other aid to intimacy,
I always find,

- is this.
- Oh, my God.

- Could I interest you?
- Yes, please. Yes.

Great.

- Ahem.
- You okay, honey?

Yes, I was just looking for my
friend, Dolly. My assistant.

- You haven't seen her, have you?
- No, no, I haven't.

I-I... you know,
it's really hard

to find a good assistant
in this town.

Don't you think?
Somebody you can trust.

Emily?

Honey, if you need
help, let me know.

I'm very good. I know...
you know, I know these hills

like the back of my hand.

I have a little dog,
a little Yorkshire terrier,

and she got out
the other night.

I mean, my God, I was
just scared to death.

- It's really strong.
- It is pretty strong.

Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell
something really yummy.

The weed of an englishman.

Please, have a seat.

Mm. Mm. Mm.

Sativa?

My friend the Baker
calls it "red velvet."

Mm. Mm.

You guys have met, right?

- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

- I've been married four times, honey.
- God.

Four times. And every
single one of the sobs

had a house here
in the Hollywood hills.

So I know all these
little winding roads.

I know them drunk,
I know them sober.

I've had houses all over the
Hollywood hills. On this side...

Dianne, I'm so sorry,
but I just...

I... I really do
have to find her.

I'm gonna... I'm gonna keep
looking down here and then...

Well, you let me know if you can't
find her here on the property.

I certainly will and I'm...
I'm sure we'll see you

- on the way out.
- I'll drive you around if you like.

Oh, no, don't worry.
It's fine.

- Emily?
- Yes?

Edgar would like
to say hi to you.

Edgar would?

- Okay.
- Thanks.

[Music playing]

It's quite a nice bag.
It's new.

There you are.
Oh, my God.

- Let's go.
- Shh. Brian's asleep.

Shh.

Oh, Em, you know
Luke, don't you?

But he prefers to be called buddy.
Why is that?

- I'll tell you.
- He's our host

- and he's producing your film.
- Yes, we met earlier.

I'm just one of many,
many producers.

And this is Em, my best friend

- and the star of your movie.
- Of course.

We just love your assistant.
She is so sweet.

But I think you should have her
sign a confidentiality statement.

Shut up, Susan.

All I said... I said one thing.
I was just saying that

how when you were on
stage, you have that

thing where you think
you're gonna wee.

Yeah. Seriously.
That's what she's saying.

Oh, yeah. I'm completely
I'm going to pee myself.

This is so embarrassing,
but when I...

I sometimes just want to yank
people's hair, like I just...

That kind of feels good.

The other day, in the middle
of this award ceremony,

right... oh, I guess it's time.
It's time.

Bye.

Bye, Dolly. And it was so
nice to hang with you.

- Thank you, Susan.
- And buddy.

Bye, beauty.

- Thank you.
- Let's do this again.

- Soon, soon, soon, soon, please.
- Come on, sweetie.

- Bye, Mike.
- Very nice to meet you.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Here we go. Come on.
How are you doing?

- Good night.
- Get some rest.

Yeah, you too.
See you tomorrow.

Buddy, thank you so much.

That was such a lovely party.

Don't be crazy. You don't
have to go, do you?

It's kind of early.

- Um... I feel like I should.
- Do we have to go?

Don't.
What do you mean?

It's still so early.
Hot tub's hot.

You got a hot tub?

And it's hot.
It's a hot tub.

Wow.

- It's... I mean, it's up to you.
- We wanna stay.

Oh, I don't know
if I can face this.

Oh, come on.
It's going to be funny.

Aren't we too old
for this kind of thing?

Yeah, nearly. We've got
about five minutes left.

Come on. We'll just...
Let's just have fun.

Please.

Okay, but maybe it should
just be you and him.

No, I don't want to be left alone
in the hot tub alone with him.

He's not my type.

Okay, but if you do want
to be on your own with him,

- just let me know, okay?
- Don't be silly.

So, if I did want to be on my
own with him, what would I say?

Um, let's think
of a secret code.

You could just say...

"Em, are you cold?"

And I'll just hop out.

- "Em, are you cold?"
- Yes.

Never gonna say that.

[Splattering]

Oh, my God!
[Laughs]

Dolly, still want to go in?

Yes, you do.

[Laughing]

It's a long way
from Worthing, right?

Come on in.

Ladies, join me,
won't you? Come on in.

- Oh, thank you.
- Gently, gently.

Em, come on.
It's so relaxing.

I got... you look
very relaxed.

Really relaxing.

Why do you think everyone in L.A.
is so relaxed?

All right?

Mm.

- Mm.
- Ah.

What a beautiful view.

Yeah, it is a lovely view.

Has anyone ever told you
you look just like Jane Birkin?

Wow.

God, no. I've had Amanda Plummer
in "The Fisher King."

That's about it.

Dianne the costume lady thinks
I'm the same age as her.

- How old is she?
- I don't know, 58, 59, 60.

What?
That's ridiculous.

What are you, like, 27, 28?

[Laughs] No, don't be absurd.

No, she's 40.

Look at you.

You could be twins.

How long have you guys
known each other?

- Since we were children.
- Mm.

- Wow.
- Our dads were friends.

Oh, you're kidding.
That's so special.

That's amazing.

Here's to special friends.

[Clinks]

[Clinks]

Well, until my dad died
when I was quite young.

Oh, I'm sorry.

My dad died last year.

Recent.
That's rough.

I didn't realize he was
my dad at the time.

I only found that out
when I was about 11.

I thought it was someone
entirely different till then.

- That's confusing.
- Mm.

There's a wonderful
pushkin poem about death

that my dad used to love.

[Reciting in Russian]

[Sighs]

[Reciting in Russian]

Oh, my God, that's so sexy.

- What does it mean?
- Emily, are you cold?

- What?
- Are you cold?

'Cause you look quite cold.

No, I'm not at all cold.
If anything, I'm burning up.

You must be hot, too, right?

No, I'm, um... no, I'm
actually quite cold.

- Doll?
- What? Where you going?

- Doll, where are you going?
- Don't leave us.

Dolly.
Dolly.

Come back.

Doll?

God, you know, I know exactly how
she's feeling 'cause at parties...

Parties always do something
strange to me, too.

I always feel like
all my good friends

become acquaintances

and all my acquaintances
become people I've never...

[Sighs]

[Faint buzzing]

Sorry.

What... what's wrong?

What's going on?

[Door opens]

[Emily panting]

You missed a call.

From your husband.

What the fuck was that?

It's okay, it's okay.
Shh.

Yeah, but seriously,

- Doll, Doll, Doll...
- what the fuck were you thinking?

- Why would you do that?
- I'm sorry, it's fine. It's okay.

It's okay, my love.

- Shh.
- But seriously, why?

I...

[Scoffs]

Doll.
Oh, Doll...

Doll...?

[Groans]

Hey.

Hi.

I'm sorry I missed
your call earlier.

Oh, we're at this awful party.

I really want to go home, but Doll
fancies someone. Now I'm stuck.

Doll?

Dolly?

[Door closes]

Dolly?

Dolly?

[Door closes]

[Doll laughing]

[Whispering within]

[Doll continues laughing]

[Birds chirping]

[Buddy singing]
I wings to fly

Give me that boat

Hat can carry two

And both shall row

My love and I...?

[Whistles]

Morning.

Do tea?

[Raspy] Yeah, sure.

[Buddy humming]

Where's Dolly?

Uh...

She's...

Oh, would you mind
just taking this out for her?

She likes more milk than that.

God, I'm so sorry
about last night, Dolly.

I don't know what came over me.
I was completely mad.

That buddy dude's
lost in song back there.

Don't worry, Em.
I totally get it.

I like L.A.

[Music playing]