Dogs in Space (2021–…): Season 2, Episode 10 - Barking Up the Wrong Tree - full transcript

[dogs screaming]

[ship crashes]

♪ Dig this
We're the last hope of the human race ♪

♪ Embark on a journey ♪

♪ Into outer space ♪

♪ Blast off, there's no going back
We're on our way ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

♪ Woo! ♪

♪ Dogs in Space! ♪

Pollinate the seed cannons,

soil the soil shields,



-photosynthesize the--
-[Gary groans]

Do we have to wipe them out?

Have you got a better idea?

Uh... meet and greet?

Don't feel bad for them, Gary. Look!

How is the dodo?

Humans hunted it, to extinction.

And other species, too.

Oh, yeah.
Humans are obsessed with peace.

You should see all the wars they fight
to preserve it!

The humans destroy their own planet.

-No!
-Yes.

Mostly by polluting the air
and cutting down all the trees.

Do these warmongering species,



destroying-planet-wreckers
sound worth savin' to you?

Even one of their own dogs
doesn't think so.

Yeah, but aren't we doing all those
same things right now?

This is completely different!

Right, Shrubs?

-She's right.
-Yeah, not the same at all.

It's like acorns and pine cones.

-Prepare to--
-[Gary coughs]

Uh, we-- We've been followed, Elder.

It's the dogs.

Okay, Earth's not gonna save itself.

It's, uh, famously bad at that.

Maybe someone down there will notice
and send backup?

Ha! Backup, schmackup.
We don't need it!

Bigger the bad guy, bigger the weak spot!

Right, Pepper?

No.

Nomi, step on it!

-[engine whirs]
-[thrusters boost]

[humming]

[yelp]

[straining]

[beeps]

Pluto Crew to P.R.A.T.S., do you read?

You've reached General Huntrods'.

I don't really check my voicemail,

but if you wanna DM me,
my handle on all my socials is

Captain, their ship is made
entirely of organic matter.

Eww. Like lungs?

What? No. Like plants.

So, what? We need a herbicide?

Where are we gonna get enough
toxic gunk to kill a giant tree sh--

Ship?

Pluto to all ships.
We have an idea.

Keep the Shrubdub occupied!

Don't worry, Chelsea. I'll save you--

[screams]

[groan]

Where's the Pluto?

All I can see is
that terrifying thing!

-[gulps]
-[grunts]

[Garbage whimpers]

-[gagging]
-Disgusting.

[winces]

Don't worry, crew.
We're not going down without a fight.

Oh, wait. Yes, we are.

We can't beat them like this.

He's right. Excuse me.

[shouts]

[maniacal laugh]

[roars]

Come on!

[laughs]

Bring it on!

[shouts and grunts]

Drones. No guilt.

Not sure we can
beat them like that, either.

Well, go on then.

I'm sure you've got a reckless,
irresponsible plan.

Actually... no.

Well, forget it! That's a stupid--

Wait, you don't? Why not?
We need one!

I have a plan.

But it's not irresponsible,
it's... un-irresponsible.

That's... reassuring.

I think we should negotiate.

Good idea, Garbage.

Here, maybe they might want this?

It's blueberry, that's... nature-y.

Uh... I doubt they'll want it.

Oh, thank goodness.

But I know what they might want.

Not this again! Don't give them--

Your blaster?

I'm the reason the Shrubdub are mad.

I stole their seed, wrecked their vault.

So, if I give myself up,

they might leave Earth alone.

Garbage...

this might not work.

You know that, right?

Just take the muffin, Garbage!

[sighs]

Yoo-hoo!

It's me, Garbage!

Come get me, you fanatical ferns!

You leafy losers!

Photosynthesize this!

[roars]

Oh, poop.

Is it bad that I kinda wanna know
what it tastes like?

Uh, yes. It's literally poison.

Well, so I'll save it for my last meal!

-[button beeps]
-[machine whirs]

[Nomi] Oh-ho-ho-ho!

Just so you know, Chonies.

If this doesn't work,
you're to blame for everyone dying.

[Ed] Yeah.

Phew.

[shrieks]

Do plants normally scream in pain?

I know the Shrubdub are bad,

but we can't use this on them!

Right?

I don't wanna use it, either,
but we have to.

It's us or them.

This feels like the choice I'd make.

Not the choice you'd make.

There is no other choice, Pepper!

Let's get back up there, come on.

So...

we meet again.

Wait, did I ever get your name?

Uh, it's Garbage.

Hi, I'm Gary.

This is Clara, that's Pedro.

Barbara's usually here,
but she had a problem today.

Think she had a little cold, so...

She couldn't make it.

Um, this right here, is Steephe.

Uh, that's with a "PH."

Gary, shush!

What? I thought we were doin' names.

You're the one who--

Did all the bad things.

Yup, I know.
That's why I'm here.

To take un-irresponsibility.

Ugh, you're so annoying.

You and Earth have that in common.

That, and that you're both about to die!

Wait! Humans deserve a chance.

They're not to blame for my actions.

They're good and--

Why would I listen to you?

You've been blind to humanity's
flaws since we met.

No!

-[grunts]
-[alarm blares]

[alarm blares]

[grunts]

[struggles]

Status report!

[gasps] He broke one of my twigs!

Not you, Gary! Shields!

Engines! Planet-destroying cannon!

Oh, I thought you-- Well,

Um...

Yup, they're all down.

Gah! Reroute power to weapons.

Take out those dogs!

Their shields are down! Attack!

[laughs]

Ah!

[growls]

[gags and vomits]

Pluto to Venus,

we've got something
that can destroy their ship.

-We're--
-[Loaf] Stella, don't!

Garbage is on board.
And he went in...

without a muffin! Repeat:

No muffin!

-Ah!
-[roars]

[gasps, grunts]

Captain?
Destroying the tree is one thing,

but if Garbage is in there...

Garbage would give
his life for Earth, Chonies.

He'd-- he'd understand.

[exhales]

Nomi, take us in.

[whimpers]

Ed, Nomi, Chonies, find Garbage!

Pepper, we'll take this
to their power core.

We'll tell them we'll blast it
if they don't back down.

And if they don't?

Then we'll do what we have to.

Go.

Okay, let's sneak up and--

[screams]

You came for me?
I didn't think--

Oh, please.
You think we'd let you die?

I haven't even put life insurance payout
in my name yet!

[grunts]

Why did you come here alone?

-Whoa...
-[panting]

[sniffles and whimpers]

I thought I'd be able
to convince the Shrubdub

that humanity's worth saving!

Like I did with Kira.

If she's down there right now,
that means...

She's down there right now!

[yawns] It's 2:00 AM here, Chelsea.

Oh, is it? Sorry.

You know I wouldn't call you
if it wasn't important.

Yeah, well, last week you rang
because you "had a feeling"

Garbage got trapped
in an alternate dimension.

Well, the feeling passed.

So, clearly he escaped.

Anyway, about half an hour ago,
this shadow passed over the Earth.

Could you go check it out, maybe?
And tell--

Chels, Garbage is really far away.

I can't go out into orbit for you,
every time there's a meteor shower.

Or every time you have an idea
in the shower.

[sighs] You're right, I'm sorry. I just...

wanna know he's okay.

Garbage is always okay.

To the point where it's kind of annoying.

[sighs] Thank you, Kira.
Okay, bye.

Chelsea, it's still--

-Garbage?
-Kira!

The Shrubdub attacking Earth!
Also us! We're not okay!

Hi, Kira!

Captain, for what it's worth,
you're doing the right thing.

Then why does it really
feel like the wrong thing?

Because it's... kinda both?

[grunts and laughs]

Stay back! I'm warning you.

[grumbles]

[sighs]

[cackles]

But Garbage, if they didn't listen to you,

they won't listen to me.

They might! You used to think them!

They think I can't see the bad in humans.

-But they know you...
-[beeps]

-Get 'em!
-...can!

[shouts] Kira! Please, just try!

[gasps]

Ow.

Thanks for comin' to rescue me.

I didn't think you'd care about--

Actually, I, uh...

came to blow up the ship.

Oh...

that's... cool.

I wasn't not gonna rescue you.

No, no, no! It's fine, it's fine.

[Elder] Hey, dogs.

Say buh-bye to your pals.

[laughing]

So why are you here, Garbage?

Tryna be the "big hero" again?

I tried to give myself up.

I thought maybe if they had
the screw-up Captain,

they'd leave Earth alone.

Garbage... [sighs]

I, uh... [smacks lip]

I didn't trust you as much as I should've.

Ever. And I'm sorry.

You're... a good dog.

[sobbing] It's so beautiful!

[sobbing]

Okay, Shrubdub.

Everything's back online.

Pollinate the seed cannons!
-[Gary] Uh...

Soil the-- What now, Gary?

I'm sorry, it's just...

A ship's coming from Earth
and it's tailing us.

-[gasps]
-Oh, it's you.

Hey, remember how you told us
Earth wasn't worth saving?

Well, you're gonna love this.

[muffled gasp] Yeah, I heard.

And if you're gonna give the Earth
the fate it deserves,

I want a good view.

Hey, uh, before you do this,

can I just say one thing, real quick?

Oh, wait. Can I guess?

You... changed your mind about Earth.

"Some humans are nice,
don't destroy it, please!"

You just came from Earth.
You think I'm stupid?

-Yeah!
-[growls and cackles]

[chuckles] That was the gist.

But, uh, also...

Deactivate the ship's weapons.

I love her so much!

I... can see why.

Oh, please.

She won't do it.

You don't have the stomach.

I literally used to
eat stomach for breakfast!

This is nothing.

-[groans]
-[laughs]

[phone rings]

-[phone rings]
-[grumbles]

It's for him.

Kira, I'm sorry, but--

-Garbage?
-Chelsea?

Yeah! Yeah, it's me.

[sniffles] Wha--

Where are you? Are you back?

Uh, kind of.

I'm above Earth.

So you-- so you found a planet?

I knew you would do it!

Oh, I am so proud of you!

The second you get back,
you are getting the biggest belly rub!

Hey, Chelsea? Uh...

I have missed you so much.

Like, a crazy amount.

-And I'll...
-[whimpers]

No matter what, I want you to know...

that I did every thing I could to...

get back to you as fast as possible.

[Chelsea] I know! I know you did, boy.

You come find me as soon as you can, okay?

I am so happy you're home!

We'll... be together soon.

[inhales] Bye, Chelsea.

[sighs]

[Elder] Okay, Shrubdub.

Fire the cannons!

Come on, let's go!

Destroy Earth!

-[maniacal laugh]
-[Shrubdub whimpering]

What you just heard...

That's what most humans are like.

Yeah, some of them are bad people...

but that's true of every species, right?

[grumbles]

Okay, that's just rude.

Crew, restrain the Elder!

[chuckles] Mutiny?

Gary, you're the least
authoritative plant here.

No one's gonna listen to a word you say--

Thank you.

Hey, you did the same for me.

Pluto to Pet Ships, report.

Happy here. Those flytraps drained our--

Stop fighting, you two!

[groans]

Captain...

can we pop down to Earth,
just for like, five minutes?

-I--
-Uh, team?

Why are they evacuating?

It's the Elder.

We evacuated in time,
but you need to stop her!

Or else, she's gonna--

[maniacal laugh]

Do that, basically.

I'm sorry, Garbage.

If we get trapped
on this side of the portal,

we'll never find a new planet in time!

Go, go, go!

All ships! Through the portal, now!

[cackles]

Say goodbye, dogs...

[groans]

And by the way, yeah.
I do think you're stupid.

Good luck, Garbage.

[gasps]

[laughing]

Keep it steady, Nomi.

We cannot get stuck
on this side of the portal.

[grumbles]

Nomi, turbo button!

[Elder] Ha! Gotcha now!

What?

No!

[groans]

[all] Yes!

Yeah, woo-hoo!

Good luck, you guys.

How will we know which is which?

[both groan and sigh]

-[Stella] Perfect.
-[clapping]

-[Ed] Woo-hoo hoo!
-[Pepper] Yes! Excellent. Two Captains.

Statistically speaking,
we're more likely to succeed with two.

[applause]

[woman] Loaf! Loaf! Loaf!

-[man] Loaf! Loaf!
-Oh, he's so cute.

Setting course for planet Danger Place!

That can't be its real name.

I take it you want heavy weapons access
for this mission, Nomi?

Yup!

You wanna do it? Or shall I?

I've done it for ages.

Your turn.

Pluto, let's go fetch us a planet!

Aye, aye!

-[Pepper] Yes, Captain.
-[Chonies] I'm so happy.

[voice 1] So, is this it?

[voice 2] I believe so.

All scans suggest a climate
similar to Earth.

[voice 1] Ha! Heard that one before.

Looks kinda sad to me.

[voice 2] It's a fixer-upper!
It just needs a little love.

[voice 1] That needs a lot of love.

-And even then, it's--
-[Captain Clawdia] Silence!

Both of you.

Wake up the others.

We found it.

[outro theme music playing]