Documentary Now! (2015–…): Season 3, Episode 1 - Episode #3.1 - full transcript
[Theme music playing]
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Good evening.
I'm Helen Mirren, and you're
watching "Documentary Now!"
season 52.
Now, what causes someone
to start a cult?
And what causes someone
to join one?
In 1980, a man known
as Father Ra-Shawbard,
and his followers descended
upon a small town in Oregon
to build a utopian community.
What followed is one of
the strangest stories
in American law
enforcement history.
This is "Batshit Valley."
♪♪
Man:
Even now, knowing what I know,
I have no regrets about my time
as a Shawbardite.
♪♪
My only regret is that
Father Ra-Shawbard was born
before the world was ready
for his message.
♪♪
Woman:
Being with Father Ra-Shawbard
was like having
a wonderful dream.
was like having
a wonderful dream.
And when you wake up and tell
people about the dream,
only then do you realize
how foolish it was.
Woman: Chinook is named for
the Indians
who settled this land.
They would never have let anyone
take it away from them, so...
why would we?
♪♪
It's easy to look back
and say we took it too far.
But when your town
is under siege,
you'll do anything
you can to protect it.
Woman: People always say
if I had been nicer
to the townspeople,
none of this
would have happened.
Maybe I would have been nicer
to the townspeople
had they not been
so fat and stupid.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Man: Chinook, Oregon,
is a quiet town --
one not accustomed to visitors.
So it was quite a surprise
two weeks ago
when strangers dressed in yellow
and black
started arriving
by the busloads.
♪♪
They call themselves
Shawbardites,
and they are followers
of this man,
Father Ra-Shawbard,
a self-proclaimed
spiritual leader
who is now calling
Chinook home.
Woman: The sign to the gate
at Shawbard Valley Ranch
says,
"Everyone welcome."
And the days are filled
with meditation,
light stretching, and meals
prepared from their own garden.
But here at the Shawbard
Valley Ranch,
the Shawbardites only eat
the vegetables
after the vegetables
give permission.
And it seems as though
we're here on a good day,
as all of the vegetables
have okayed themselves
for consumption.
♪♪
The whole thing sounded
pretty out there to me.
But at that point, it wasn't
like they were bothering anyone.
♪♪
Woman: It's strange to think
how things
could have been so different
without that sign.
When I heard on the news
that they talk to food,
I thought this would be
the funniest sign.
People seem to like it.
It's been getting smiles
from a lot of my customers.
Oh, that's lovely, yeah.
It's funny, though.
Uh-huh.
When I read about the sign
in the grocery store,
I was very upset.
It was very disrespectful.
Very disrespectful.
Very disrespectful.
I know they say that sign
on the apples just proved
that we were dead-set
against them from the beginning,
but, honestly,
I don't think any of us
were upset that they were here.
You know, we were just
wondering why they were here.
♪♪
Ra-Shawbard was my father.
I had a biological father,
but he wanted me to have a job
and take on responsibilities.
He never understood me.
But Father Ra-Shawbard did.
He just wanted me to be free
and happy.
And isn't that what
a father is supposed
to want for his children?
And that's why it was an honor
to give him the money
my real father gave me
when he died.
I first saw Father Ra-Shawbard
in a newspaper ad.
Woman: The words on the ad
were so simple,
but so profound --
purify, elevate, liberate.
I called the number, and they
gave me an address to send $40
for some tapes of
Father speaking.
I sent it in,
and when it didn't arrive,
I called back and they said they
didn't know what had happened,
and I should try again.
I sent more money,
and the tapes came.
Anyone who listened
to those tapes...
had their life changed.
There is the world we see,
but there's also a second world
that we do not.
How do we unlock the door
for that world?
And if there's a second world,
could there be a third one?
A fourth one?
Could there be a sixth world?
I ordered a new tape every week.
And on my 20th, I received
an invitation to
Shawbard Valley Ranch,
and I never looked back.
♪♪
♪ Babe, I want to tell you
Woman:
By the second day,
I had completely forgotten
about my husband
and two children
that I left behind.
♪ I fell in love with you
♪ Ooh
♪ In the air, we can fly
♪ In the sea, we can dive
♪ Together, we could get high
♪♪
Ra-Shawbard:
This is your home.
But in order for it
to truly be your home,
you have to abandon
all the trappings
of your former life.
So I ask all of you to write
down the names of
your family members that you are
leaving behind...
and put them in this basket.
Along with their
Social Security Number
and their banking information.
And then you will be free.
♪ I fell in love with you
Man:
We had created a paradise.
♪ Fell in love with you
♪♪
And I think we would
still be there
if it wasn't for those
awful townspeople.
♪♪
Man: They'd have you believe
we started the ill will.
But in the beginning,
we actually tried to engage
with the Shawbardites.
Woman: Well, I would argue that
we went out of our way
to make them feel welcome.
Oh, yeah, cover up that
bird's head, we don't need--
The only problem was
they were having these orgies.
And, hey, I don't have
a problem with orgies.
If that is your thing,
more power to you.
But they were very loud.
Well, we had to have a town
meeting to discuss the...
orgies.
It was decided that I would
go up to the ranch
and see if I could
convince them to...
you know, at the very least,
close their windows.
But it did not go well.
Hello there.
I'm Marge Middleton.
I'm Mayor of Chinook.
Yes, we know who you are.
Well, we just wanted
to formally welcome you.
Is there something that we can
help you with, Marge Middleton?
Their spokesperson was a woman
named Ra-Sharir,
and she was not
an easy person to deal with.
Well, it's about the orgies.
And?
I'm sorry, have I done
something to offend you?
We saw your sign.
What sign is that?
The one in the grocery store.
"We are happy to be here,
love, the apples."
Gosh, that's just Pam
doing her Pam thing.
I hope you weren't offended
by that.
Oh, you will know
when I am offended.
You will know.
Now, please disperse.
This is a private property.
So, you know,
we went home.
♪♪
You know, I think we would have
been willing to chalk it up
to different world views, but...
that night, they installed
a speaker system
and hooked it up
to the orgy room.
[Amplified moaning]
♪♪
They used a lot of specific
words about body parts and...
and where they wanted them put.
♪♪
The next morning,
I did what I had to do.
I issued them a $100 fine for
violating the sound ordinance.
Man: A lousy hundred bucks.
They treated it like
an act of war.
It's only been a month,
but tensions are starting
to rise between the town
of Chinook and the Shawbardites,
who don't seem to want
to follow their rules.
[Echoing]
This is not about sound.
No!
This is about one religion
exerting power
over another religion.
Woman:
Most of us were of the mind
that Ra-Sharir was overreacting.
And, mercifully,
Father agreed.
We are not here to make enemies.
We're here to make peace
with ourself.
The world has enough aggression
and escalation
without us adding to it.
Plus, I don't think
we want people
digging around in our thing.
Do...
What do you guys think?
♪♪
Well, she paid the fine.
I came into my office
the next day to find
$100 worth of pennies
spilled all over my desk.
There was also a dead snake,
but it was just a little one.
♪♪
Man: Halloween.
It's usually a night
where the town gets together
for some spooks and scares.
But tonight, the spooks
and scares
were a little too real
as Ra-Sharir,
a member
of the Shawbardites,
made it clear that when it comes
to judging carved pumpkins,
Mayor Middleton
doesn't know jack...
'o-lantern.
It is my honor to announce that
this year's Pumpkin Patch Pal
is Sally Walters!
Congratulations.
What?!
What madness is this?
Are you the Mayor of Stupid?
Man: Sit down.
You sit down!
All of you sit down.
Nobody thinks that is
the best pumpkin.
No one!
Give me one reason why
my pumpkin is not the winner!
Now, I'll concede that Ra-Sharir
had a well-carved pumpkin,
but it didn't seem right
to award an adult
for what was clearly
a children's contest.
Ra-Sharir, you're an adult.
And this isn't a contest
for adults.
Where does it say that?
Huh? Show me in the rules
where does it say that?
I demand to speak with someone.
You want to talk with someone?
Yeah.
I'll admit, I said something
I shouldn't have,
but I was upset,
and it just came out.
Why don't you go talk
to your vegetables.
[Laughter]
Man: There was no doubt
that Marge hit a nerve.
We all assumed it was only
a matter of time
before Ra-Sharir retaliated.
Man: A break-in last night
at the local paper
here in Chinook,
nothing stolen,
nothing broken.
But something added
to today's paper --
an obituary for the still very
alive Mayor Marge Middleton.
There was no proof
that Ra-Sharir did it.
But it was definitely
in her voice.
♪♪
"Today, Marge Middleton lost her
long battle with stupidity.
She will not be remembered
by her friends and family,
as they are too stupid
to do so.
Services will be held wherever
stupid people are buried."
Man: Yeah, you had to
give Marge credit.
She kept her cool
through the whole thing.
Right up until the story
went national.
Tonight, a small town
in Oregon may lose its name,
thanks to the efforts
of newcomers
who intend to use
the power of the ballot box.
We are currently in the process
of registering our members
to vote in
the next municipal election.
The first act of our majority
will be to give this town
a name worthy
of its beautiful surroundings...
"Ra-Shawbarda."
Man: They had the votes.
There was no doubt.
But Marge saw the writing
on the wall,
and God love her,
she took action.
We felt that for the next
nine months,
there was a more fitting name.
Man: For over 200 years,
this small part of Oregon
has been known as Chinook.
But today, it has a new name.
When motorist enter town,
they will see this sign
as they drive into
Ra-Shawbard's Butthole.
Woman: You heard me right,
the new name of the town
is Ra-Shawbard's Butthole.
I thought it was pretty funny.
But I had never seen Ra-Sharir
more angry.
This is a sacrilege!
This is the mockery
of a holy man!
A man of who every part
is sacred,
including his butthole,
of which
this town knows nothing.
Father had already admonished
Ra-Sharir once,
so we just assumed
he would put his foot down
to stop her escalation.
♪♪
But this was when we started
to realize,
something was...
off with him.
[Muttering indistinctly]
♪♪
Woman:
He was always in a daze.
And he seemed unable to walk.
So his chair was attached to
a motorized wheelchair
that brought him on stage.
Man: This was when
Ra-Sharir announced
that he had taken
a vow of silence.
Father will use his silence
to contemplate solutions
to what plagues
this world.
Okay.
It was such a trusting place
that I don't think it ever
occurred to any of us
that his diminished state,
followed by his vow of silence
had been chemically induced
by Ra-Sharir.
♪♪
Man: Ra-Sharir had always been
Father Shawbard's mouthpiece,
but now she was taking
control of his checkbook.
I always felt like we were
using our money
to make a better life
for ourselves.
But now she spent it to make
lives worse for others.
Well, if the people of what
was formerly Chinook
were looking for a reaction
with their name change,
they got one.
It seems that the Shawbardites
have been secretly purchasing
all the land
around the town
and now have it encircled.
Man: Heck, I tip my cap
to their ingenuity.
Buying up land is
the American Goddamn dream.
But now they've installed
these speed bumps.
So many speed bumps that at
500-feet worth to be exact.
We decided to take
the News 9 van
over the speed bumps
to give you an idea
of what it feels like.
Back to you, Bob.
It was destroying our mufflers.
And then to make matters worse,
the Shawbardites had secretly
purchased the town muffler shop
and converted it
into a green juice stand.
Ra-Sharir: I think
the people of this town
should see this
as an opportunity.
If your muffler shop is closed,
buy green juice.
You'll be healthier and happier.
You're a monster!
What are you gonna
leave us alone?
Why don't you go back
to your butthole!
This is America.
You cannot open a juice bar
in a muffler shop.
I don't care who your god is,
you need permits.
Man: They used to fix mufflers,
then they served juice.
Then the juice was muffled.
But have we heard
the last of it?
This is war.
We figured war meant she'd T.P.
the grade school.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir: Advance!
Positions.
Man: We didn't think she'd go so
far as to arm themselves.
Fire!
[Gunfire]
It was terrifying!
Man: It was a scary time.
The shooting range was very near
the room we had orgies in.
And more than once, a bullet
came through the wall.
It was clear that
the only person
who could stop Ra-Sharir was
Father Ra-Shawbard.
But he was out of it.
He was certain that Ra-Sharir
had been giving him a cocktail
of Valium
and barbiturates.
He said he need to speak
to the whole community,
but he would need something
to get his energy back.
It did surprise me that a man
who spoke of the purity of mind
and soul had cocaine.
A good deal of cocaine,
as it turns out,
in his bedside drawer.
Ra-Shawbard:
Yeah, talky, talky, talky.
Back back, baby back.
They think I can't hear,
but I hear everything.
I hear the mice think,
I hear the plugs conspiring,
and I realize in my silence,
that I am not
communing with God.
I am God, and my power
will be challenged
by no man and no mouse.
Woman: In the state he was in,
it was easy for Ra-Sharir
to manipulate him.
This is wonderful news!
I believe she convinced him
to prove that he was a god.
Ra-Sharir: Today,
Father Ra-Shawbard
will prove his divinity
by allowing an automobile
to harmlessly pass
through his corporeal body.
- Who?
- You, Father.
Man: One of the Shawbardites
jumped in a car
and barreled down towards
Father Ra-Shawbard,
who was going to prove to us
that he was a god.
I should have said something,
but I actually believed
it might be true.
And if it was,
I wanted to see it.
♪♪
Where...
Where are you going?
Send someone to get my blue hat.
I'm a little chilled.
[Engine revving]
Ra-Sharir?
Oh, my God!
♪♪
♪♪
Woman: It was troubling
that he was
asking for a hospital,
as he had sworn off
the use of modern medicine.
And then...
he said the words that brought
our whole world crashing down.
And after we heard that...
you are surprised
with what happened next?
♪♪
♪ Got together
♪ Splendors of before
♪ When you go down
Breath is the answer
to everything.
Oh, yeah.
Feel it?
Look up to the sky.
Let your body feel it.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
Feeling it this morning.
Body's saying thank you.
Gracias.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
Wayne: Listen, you idiots,
I work for the [echoing] FBI!
And after we heard that...
you are surprised
with what happened next?
♪♪
♪♪
Doss: My name is Bill Doss.
I'm former FBI.
Wayne Delancey,
A.K.A. Father Ra-Shawbard,
was my informant.
♪♪
In the late '70s, I was assigned
to the elite
cult unit of the FBI.
We had been formed
after the tragedy of Jonestown
for the unique purpose
of stopping cult activity.
♪♪
I reached out to a colleague
of mine -- Larry Cooper.
Larry had been
profiling serial killers.
We're having drinks one night,
and I said,
"Larry, how the hell
am I ever gonna know
what a nut bag
like Jim Jones is thinking?"
Larry looks at me and says,
"What if the nut bag
worked for you?"
The problem with profiling
serial killers
is that you can only do it
after they've killed
a bunch of people.
This way, we could learn
what we need to
and no one would get hurt.
It was a hell of a plan...
on paper.
Doss:
Our first order of business was
to find ourselves a front man.
Someone had to run the cult,
right?
And then, like a gift
from the gods,
Paternius just falls
into our lap.
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ You know I'll be waiting
on the corner ♪
♪ Whoo-whoo ♪
Paternius -- real name
Wayne Delancey --
had a health food store
on Sunset Boulevard
that specialized in yogurt.
He called the place
Counter Culture.
The place had a staff of about
20 girls, not a bra between 'em.
Cooper:
The guy is raking it in.
Buys a nice house in the hills,
lives there with 50
or so of his followers.
They call themselves Paternians.
Local P.D. tossed it our way
because it qualified
as cult activity.
So we stopped by the yogurt
stand to take a look.
Within five minutes, it's clear
the whole thing is a front
for a drug-dealing operation.
We arrested Wayne in the back
loading the cocaine
into little bags himself.
He just gave us a look like,
"Oh, man."
♪♪
[Camera shutter clicks]
So we figured, "Jackpot."
We could use this interrogation
to get inside
the head of a cult leader.
Wayne, if it wasn't a spiritual
journey, what was it?
I've just always really loved
getting high.
What about the women?
Turns out they really love
getting high, too.
He was always real fast
with a quip.
Yeah, I was jealous of it.
We're gonna have to clip
your wings.
No, no, I get it.
Time to get this old boy
back on the reservation
and let him play possum
till the next time
Crazy Horse taps me on the
shoulder and says, "Let's ride."
I don't really know
what that means, but...
how about
we make a deal?
♪♪
That's a beautiful word,
"deal."
And you're talking
to a dealer.
♪♪
Doss:
So the three of us move into an
office, we start making a plan.
I gotta say, that damn Wayne,
he may have been half a kook,
but, boy, when it came to cults,
he was smart as all get-out.
We asked him,
"How do you get members?"
He said we should take out
an ad with nonsense words on it.
"Purify, elevate, liberate."
People just started calling in
and started
sending money for tapes.
There is the world we see,
but there's also a second world
that we do not.
How do we unlock the door
to that world?
Who has the keys?
Who lives there?
What do they have for breakfast?
He couldn't be Paternius
anymore,
so we had to come up
with a new identity.
Cooper was from Pittsburgh,
big Steelers fan.
Cooper: Oh, yeah, man,
I love the Steelers.
Doss: Wayne suggests
everyone in the cult
should just be
the players names rearranged.
Cooper:
Bradshaw became Shawbard.
Greene and Harris
became Negree and Sharir.
Father calls me Ra-Temblar.
"Tem" is for the temple,
and "blar"
is for the blaring
of the message of love.
I was named after
God's kindness.
Nope. You weren't named
after kindness,
you were named
after Jack Lambert,
meanest son of a bitch
to ever play the game.
When God saw Jack Lambert play
football, he pissed his pants.
Wayne even thought everyone
should wear Steeler colors.
These people thought they were
on a path to enlightenment.
And unbeknownst to them,
they were dressed like
a bunch of drunks
at a tailgate.
[Laughs]
We had a lot of fun.
I don't think about it much
because of how it ended,
but those were good times to be
in the elite cult unit
of the FBI.
♪♪
♪♪
Doss: It's like sending your kid
off to college.
We even loaned out a Rolls-Royce
from evidence
for him
to drive to Oregon.
I remember patting on the hood
and telling him,
"Screw who you want,
do what you want,
but stay off the drugs,
Wayne."
♪♪
Everything got off
to a great start.
People were showing up
every day,
and they were totally
under Ra-Shawbard's control.
So we started our experiment
to see how easily cult members
would surrender
their free will to a leader.
Cooper:
These people ate up everything
Wayne told them to do.
He had them talking
to vegetables,
dancing for hours on end,
spinning in circles.
It was genius.
But my favorite was
Wayne's signature
heliumtopic meditation.
♪♪
Doss: Once a week,
members would suck on helium
and then admit what
they were most ashamed of.
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice]
When I was 15...
I stole my grandmother's locket
from my mother's jewelry drawer.
I pawned it to get money to go
to Florida with my friends.
Doss: After they confessed,
the rest of the group
would wail on them
with pool noodles.
♪♪
And then finish up
with a big old orgy
with one great Wayne detail --
they had to scream their orgasms
into jars
so that they could be saved.
♪♪
[Men, women moaning pleasurably]
He told us that we should save
our moments of ecstasy
should there ever come a time
when darkness falls.
♪♪
It's a career case.
I figured I might be in line
for deputy director,
if not director one day.
When we showed the world what
these cults were really about,
who would ever join one again?
Of course, we...
we didn't count on Ra-Sharir.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir showed up
after the first wave.
[Laughs]
And immediately
engrained herself
into Wayne's inner circle.
Doss:
Wayne told us she was a true
believer like he'd never seen.
I told him, "Don't you ever
let her forget who's in charge.
And, remember,
stay off the drugs, Wayne."
Cooper:
He had a wicker chair,
and Ra-Sharir started
calling it his throne.
We should have seen that
as a red flag.
Doss: I didn't care
about the throne.
What I cared about is,
somehow this Ra-Sharir
was becoming the spokesperson
for the cult that I started.
When I read about the sign
in the grocery store,
I was very upset.
Then she goes and she makes it
a national news story
by threatening
to rename the town.
Tonight, a small town
in Oregon may lose its name.
Ra-Sharbarda.
I reached out to Wayne,
I made it very clear,
I said, "Wayne, you've gotta put
a stop to her."
You're a little out
of your lane, Wayne.
Any chance you can pull your
friend Ra-Sharir back for us?
Wayne: Who?
Ra-Sharir, Wayne.
The one who seems to be
running things over there.
What?
Ra-Sharir?
Yeah, that's right --
Ra-Sharir.
Where?
Oh, yeah, man.
Ra-Sharir, she's...
Yeah, she's --
what a dynamite lady.
Bill you gotta meet her.
How the (bleep)
am I gonna meet her, Wayne?
I'm an FBI agent,
and she's a cult member.
Who is?
Goddamn it. Ra-Sha--
Wayne, are you back on drugs?
That was our one rule,
you son of a bitch!
Whoa!
Take it easy.
Uncalled for.
[Receiver clicks, dial tone]
I always really regretted
yelling at him.
Especially since it was the
last time I ever spoke to him.
News today out of
the Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where where Ra-Sharir
has announced
that Father Ra-Shawbard
has taken a vow of silence.
Father will use his silence
to contemplate
what plagues this world.
Doss:
I saw him in that chair,
and I realized
we had to get him out.
We made a plan.
Larry would go in undercover
and extract Wayne.
♪♪
One day passes,
and I-I don't hear from Larry.
Then two days, then three.
Then on the fourth,
I see him on the news,
dancing with other cult members.
♪♪
Thinking, "Boy, Larry's really
going deep cover on this one."
Then he calls.
Cooper: Bill?
Larry!
Where the hell have you been?
Uh, it's not Larry anymore.
My name is Ra-Tunbol.
What?!
I'm Ra-Tunbol now.
And I'm finally home.
Ra-Tunbol?
God!
It's not Tunbol, it's Blount!
He named you after hall-of-fame
cornerback Mel Blount!
Be happy that the man
you once knew as Larry Cooper
has found a peace he never knew
in the life he's leaving behind.
You're not a cult member,
Larry.
Did you ever think you might
be a member of a cult?
The cult
of law enforcement?
(Bleep) you, Larry!
I did go in to extract Wayne.
That was always the plan.
But every time I talked to a
Shawbardite to get information,
I left the conversation
feeling better about myself.
I'd been divorced twice,
and my kids didn't talk to me.
Maybe it's cause I drank
too much back then
or never called them.
Maybe it's because I spent
too much damn time
hanging out
with serial killers.
Point is, the Shawbardites
taught me to forgive myself.
And once I did...
I was happy.
♪♪
♪♪
Well, I knew I had
to go to the brass.
♪♪
Jack Fancy was
our section chief.
Walking into his office,
thinking it couldn't be worse,
and when I opened the door,
he's watching Ra-Sharir
on the news.
This is an attack
by the federal government
on a religion of peace.
Tonight, we bring you video
out of Shawbard Valley Ranch,
but we warn you what you're
about to see is graphic.
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
So I'm watching this.
Bill walks in,
and I turn to him and say,
"Do you notice that driver
looks a lot like Agent Cooper?"
♪♪
By the way,
where is Agent Cooper?
He just started to cry.
Yeah, I cried.
I cried hard.
Cried for a real long time.
♪♪
♪♪
Stratus: If you thought
things couldn't get worse
for the people of the town
formerly known
as Chinook,
you'd be mistaken,
as over half of the townspeople
now are infected with pink eye.
Medical officials
say they've seen an influx
of affected patients
and are worried
that they've got a full-scale
epidemic on their hands.
In an effort to get
to the bottom of why
so may in our town
have fallen ill,
our local law enforcement
has pulled security video
from all eating establishments.
We do not think
it is a coincidence
that a town that has never
had this problem before
is having it now --
after a group of Shawbardites
touched
all the items in the salad bar
without even getting a salad.
♪♪
So if our friend Ra-Sharir
is watching,
I'd just like
to say one thing...
enough is enough.
♪♪
Doss: Turns out Ra-Sharir
wasn't satisfied
with giving conjunctivitis
to Chinook.
She was building a pink-eye army
to infiltrate all of Oregon.
♪♪
It was diabolical because
pink eye is so contagious.
♪♪
Around this time, we got a hit
on Ra-Sharir from Interpol.
Her real name is Saavi Chambal,
and she was a known hypnotist.
She was also wanted
in five countries.
Doss:
Turned out, she had a history
of joining cults
with the suspected goal
of convincing everyone
to go off themselves
so she could get away
with the money.
We even found some photos
that led us to believe
she was at Jonestown.
♪♪
That was all we needed
to surround the ranch.
[Siren wailing]
Woman:
Tensions are running high here
outside of
Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where federal agents
have surrounded the area.
Man: The path
to Shawbard Valley Ranch
has been completely blocked
by a barricade of Mason jars.
And what's in these jars
is anyone's guess,
but it could be noxious gases.
Fancy:
There was a theory that we were
dealing with chemical warfare.
I called Agent Doss
to see what he thought.
Doss: I told Agent Fancy
it was probably the jars
they screamed
their orgasms into.
Then he hung up on me.
The hope was that the joy
of the orgasm jars...
would turn back the violent
urges of the law enforcement.
♪♪
It did not.
♪♪
♪♪
Ra-Sharir:
They are coming for us.
You can hear them
getting closer.
Shh.
Doss: Sick to my stomach.
I knew the power Ra-Sharir
had over those people,
and now I knew
what she was planning to do.
But they do not know
that we have a better life
waiting for us
after this one, huh?!
Our fear was that she would
give a suicide order,
and that's exactly
what she did.
So tell me, are you ready
to die today, huh?
I thought I was going to
have the blood of 200 people
on my hands.
I said, are you ready
to die today?!
Man: Um, no.
What?
Who said that?
I just don't think,
like, in general,
that's what
we're here for.
Are you not here to follow
Father Ra-Shawbard?
We are, but, like,
where is he?
He is recovering,
and I speak for him.
If I may, I think what
we're all reacting to
is how aggressive things
have gotten here.
A month ago, this place
had a really good vibe.
Now, there's, like,
guns everywhere
and itchy eyes.
And there are hardly any orgies.
And it's just not
what we all signed up for.
Everyone look at me!
Here's the thing --
the eyes are the most important
tool a hypnotist has.
A hypnotist with pink eye
is like a boxer
with two broken hands.
♪♪
Look at me-e-e-e.
Doss:
Thank God for pink eye.
Fancy:
In a standoff situation,
the dream is everyone
comes out with their hands up.
This was that dream.
[Helicopter blades whirring]
Reporter:
The siege at Shawbard Valley
Ranch is over before it started,
with members turning themselves
in to federal agents.
Most were released within
the course of a day,
save for one, Ra-Sharir,
who is in police custody.
♪♪
Doss: We had multiple witnesses
who corroborated
that Ra-Sharir had tried
to pink eye the entire state.
We could have put her away
for years.
But she had an ace
up her sleeve.
I simply played them a tape
that I thought
they might find interesting.
[Reel whirs]
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice]
I'm an FBI agent.
My partner and I
recruited a man
named Wayne Delancey
to start this cult
and then run it
to our specifications.
[Inhales sharply]
[Helium hissing]
The U.S. government
is responsible
for everything that
has happened here.
[Normal voice] I'm sorry.
[Sobbing]
I cannot speak to why she was
released, but she was released.
Today, the final member
of the Shawbard Valley Ranch
was released
from federal custody,
and Ra-Sharir had a message
for everyone.
You want to know what I think?
Tough titties!
[All shouting]
♪♪
Cooper: I took my pension
and never looked back.
I spent the next few years
getting in touch with my kids.
It's not perfect, but three out
of four of them call me Dad.
I kicked around,
did some odd jobs.
But something was still
missing for me.
And so I went out and found it.
♪♪
♪♪
I think the thing about me
that surprises people the most
is that
I stayed in Chinook.
[Chuckles]
The reality was,
despite how it ended,
I'd enjoyed my time here.
Mm.
Man: I mean, sure,
it was weird at first.
But you get used to things.
Plus, she makes a hell
of a green juice.
Well, sure,
I'm surprised we're friends.
But what can I say?
My God teaches me to forgive.
That doesn't mean I forget.
Every day when I go to pay
for my juice...
I do it in pennies.
♪♪
Fancy: What do I think happened
to Wayne Delancey?
He's probably dead.
Agents on the scene
searched Shawbard's domicile
but couldn't find him.
Based on his injuries
from the car accident
and the fact
that he never saw a doctor,
our best guess, he's buried
on the premises somewhere.
If I ask you to picture
Wayne Delancey
with his beard
shaved off,
wearing an FBI jacket
and sunglasses,
you think it would
look anything like this?
And if he is dead,
do you want to explain to me
why every year
on the anniversary of the raid,
I get a Pittsburgh
Steelers postcard
sent from a different
corner of the globe?
♪♪
When people find out
I'm a Shawbardite,
they are surprised
that I still adhere
to the teachings
of a con man
who was only pretending
to be a spiritual leader.
And the only thing
I can tell them
is that I was sad
before I met him...
and happy when I knew him.
And I don't know what more
to want from anyone
other than that.
♪♪
I do wish he hadn't stolen
from me, though.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
[Birds chirping]
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Good evening.
I'm Helen Mirren, and you're
watching "Documentary Now!"
season 52.
Now, what causes someone
to start a cult?
And what causes someone
to join one?
In 1980, a man known
as Father Ra-Shawbard,
and his followers descended
upon a small town in Oregon
to build a utopian community.
What followed is one of
the strangest stories
in American law
enforcement history.
This is "Batshit Valley."
♪♪
Man:
Even now, knowing what I know,
I have no regrets about my time
as a Shawbardite.
♪♪
My only regret is that
Father Ra-Shawbard was born
before the world was ready
for his message.
♪♪
Woman:
Being with Father Ra-Shawbard
was like having
a wonderful dream.
was like having
a wonderful dream.
And when you wake up and tell
people about the dream,
only then do you realize
how foolish it was.
Woman: Chinook is named for
the Indians
who settled this land.
They would never have let anyone
take it away from them, so...
why would we?
♪♪
It's easy to look back
and say we took it too far.
But when your town
is under siege,
you'll do anything
you can to protect it.
Woman: People always say
if I had been nicer
to the townspeople,
none of this
would have happened.
Maybe I would have been nicer
to the townspeople
had they not been
so fat and stupid.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
Man: Chinook, Oregon,
is a quiet town --
one not accustomed to visitors.
So it was quite a surprise
two weeks ago
when strangers dressed in yellow
and black
started arriving
by the busloads.
♪♪
They call themselves
Shawbardites,
and they are followers
of this man,
Father Ra-Shawbard,
a self-proclaimed
spiritual leader
who is now calling
Chinook home.
Woman: The sign to the gate
at Shawbard Valley Ranch
says,
"Everyone welcome."
And the days are filled
with meditation,
light stretching, and meals
prepared from their own garden.
But here at the Shawbard
Valley Ranch,
the Shawbardites only eat
the vegetables
after the vegetables
give permission.
And it seems as though
we're here on a good day,
as all of the vegetables
have okayed themselves
for consumption.
♪♪
The whole thing sounded
pretty out there to me.
But at that point, it wasn't
like they were bothering anyone.
♪♪
Woman: It's strange to think
how things
could have been so different
without that sign.
When I heard on the news
that they talk to food,
I thought this would be
the funniest sign.
People seem to like it.
It's been getting smiles
from a lot of my customers.
Oh, that's lovely, yeah.
It's funny, though.
Uh-huh.
When I read about the sign
in the grocery store,
I was very upset.
It was very disrespectful.
Very disrespectful.
Very disrespectful.
I know they say that sign
on the apples just proved
that we were dead-set
against them from the beginning,
but, honestly,
I don't think any of us
were upset that they were here.
You know, we were just
wondering why they were here.
♪♪
Ra-Shawbard was my father.
I had a biological father,
but he wanted me to have a job
and take on responsibilities.
He never understood me.
But Father Ra-Shawbard did.
He just wanted me to be free
and happy.
And isn't that what
a father is supposed
to want for his children?
And that's why it was an honor
to give him the money
my real father gave me
when he died.
I first saw Father Ra-Shawbard
in a newspaper ad.
Woman: The words on the ad
were so simple,
but so profound --
purify, elevate, liberate.
I called the number, and they
gave me an address to send $40
for some tapes of
Father speaking.
I sent it in,
and when it didn't arrive,
I called back and they said they
didn't know what had happened,
and I should try again.
I sent more money,
and the tapes came.
Anyone who listened
to those tapes...
had their life changed.
There is the world we see,
but there's also a second world
that we do not.
How do we unlock the door
for that world?
And if there's a second world,
could there be a third one?
A fourth one?
Could there be a sixth world?
I ordered a new tape every week.
And on my 20th, I received
an invitation to
Shawbard Valley Ranch,
and I never looked back.
♪♪
♪ Babe, I want to tell you
Woman:
By the second day,
I had completely forgotten
about my husband
and two children
that I left behind.
♪ I fell in love with you
♪ Ooh
♪ In the air, we can fly
♪ In the sea, we can dive
♪ Together, we could get high
♪♪
Ra-Shawbard:
This is your home.
But in order for it
to truly be your home,
you have to abandon
all the trappings
of your former life.
So I ask all of you to write
down the names of
your family members that you are
leaving behind...
and put them in this basket.
Along with their
Social Security Number
and their banking information.
And then you will be free.
♪ I fell in love with you
Man:
We had created a paradise.
♪ Fell in love with you
♪♪
And I think we would
still be there
if it wasn't for those
awful townspeople.
♪♪
Man: They'd have you believe
we started the ill will.
But in the beginning,
we actually tried to engage
with the Shawbardites.
Woman: Well, I would argue that
we went out of our way
to make them feel welcome.
Oh, yeah, cover up that
bird's head, we don't need--
The only problem was
they were having these orgies.
And, hey, I don't have
a problem with orgies.
If that is your thing,
more power to you.
But they were very loud.
Well, we had to have a town
meeting to discuss the...
orgies.
It was decided that I would
go up to the ranch
and see if I could
convince them to...
you know, at the very least,
close their windows.
But it did not go well.
Hello there.
I'm Marge Middleton.
I'm Mayor of Chinook.
Yes, we know who you are.
Well, we just wanted
to formally welcome you.
Is there something that we can
help you with, Marge Middleton?
Their spokesperson was a woman
named Ra-Sharir,
and she was not
an easy person to deal with.
Well, it's about the orgies.
And?
I'm sorry, have I done
something to offend you?
We saw your sign.
What sign is that?
The one in the grocery store.
"We are happy to be here,
love, the apples."
Gosh, that's just Pam
doing her Pam thing.
I hope you weren't offended
by that.
Oh, you will know
when I am offended.
You will know.
Now, please disperse.
This is a private property.
So, you know,
we went home.
♪♪
You know, I think we would have
been willing to chalk it up
to different world views, but...
that night, they installed
a speaker system
and hooked it up
to the orgy room.
[Amplified moaning]
♪♪
They used a lot of specific
words about body parts and...
and where they wanted them put.
♪♪
The next morning,
I did what I had to do.
I issued them a $100 fine for
violating the sound ordinance.
Man: A lousy hundred bucks.
They treated it like
an act of war.
It's only been a month,
but tensions are starting
to rise between the town
of Chinook and the Shawbardites,
who don't seem to want
to follow their rules.
[Echoing]
This is not about sound.
No!
This is about one religion
exerting power
over another religion.
Woman:
Most of us were of the mind
that Ra-Sharir was overreacting.
And, mercifully,
Father agreed.
We are not here to make enemies.
We're here to make peace
with ourself.
The world has enough aggression
and escalation
without us adding to it.
Plus, I don't think
we want people
digging around in our thing.
Do...
What do you guys think?
♪♪
Well, she paid the fine.
I came into my office
the next day to find
$100 worth of pennies
spilled all over my desk.
There was also a dead snake,
but it was just a little one.
♪♪
Man: Halloween.
It's usually a night
where the town gets together
for some spooks and scares.
But tonight, the spooks
and scares
were a little too real
as Ra-Sharir,
a member
of the Shawbardites,
made it clear that when it comes
to judging carved pumpkins,
Mayor Middleton
doesn't know jack...
'o-lantern.
It is my honor to announce that
this year's Pumpkin Patch Pal
is Sally Walters!
Congratulations.
What?!
What madness is this?
Are you the Mayor of Stupid?
Man: Sit down.
You sit down!
All of you sit down.
Nobody thinks that is
the best pumpkin.
No one!
Give me one reason why
my pumpkin is not the winner!
Now, I'll concede that Ra-Sharir
had a well-carved pumpkin,
but it didn't seem right
to award an adult
for what was clearly
a children's contest.
Ra-Sharir, you're an adult.
And this isn't a contest
for adults.
Where does it say that?
Huh? Show me in the rules
where does it say that?
I demand to speak with someone.
You want to talk with someone?
Yeah.
I'll admit, I said something
I shouldn't have,
but I was upset,
and it just came out.
Why don't you go talk
to your vegetables.
[Laughter]
Man: There was no doubt
that Marge hit a nerve.
We all assumed it was only
a matter of time
before Ra-Sharir retaliated.
Man: A break-in last night
at the local paper
here in Chinook,
nothing stolen,
nothing broken.
But something added
to today's paper --
an obituary for the still very
alive Mayor Marge Middleton.
There was no proof
that Ra-Sharir did it.
But it was definitely
in her voice.
♪♪
"Today, Marge Middleton lost her
long battle with stupidity.
She will not be remembered
by her friends and family,
as they are too stupid
to do so.
Services will be held wherever
stupid people are buried."
Man: Yeah, you had to
give Marge credit.
She kept her cool
through the whole thing.
Right up until the story
went national.
Tonight, a small town
in Oregon may lose its name,
thanks to the efforts
of newcomers
who intend to use
the power of the ballot box.
We are currently in the process
of registering our members
to vote in
the next municipal election.
The first act of our majority
will be to give this town
a name worthy
of its beautiful surroundings...
"Ra-Shawbarda."
Man: They had the votes.
There was no doubt.
But Marge saw the writing
on the wall,
and God love her,
she took action.
We felt that for the next
nine months,
there was a more fitting name.
Man: For over 200 years,
this small part of Oregon
has been known as Chinook.
But today, it has a new name.
When motorist enter town,
they will see this sign
as they drive into
Ra-Shawbard's Butthole.
Woman: You heard me right,
the new name of the town
is Ra-Shawbard's Butthole.
I thought it was pretty funny.
But I had never seen Ra-Sharir
more angry.
This is a sacrilege!
This is the mockery
of a holy man!
A man of who every part
is sacred,
including his butthole,
of which
this town knows nothing.
Father had already admonished
Ra-Sharir once,
so we just assumed
he would put his foot down
to stop her escalation.
♪♪
But this was when we started
to realize,
something was...
off with him.
[Muttering indistinctly]
♪♪
Woman:
He was always in a daze.
And he seemed unable to walk.
So his chair was attached to
a motorized wheelchair
that brought him on stage.
Man: This was when
Ra-Sharir announced
that he had taken
a vow of silence.
Father will use his silence
to contemplate solutions
to what plagues
this world.
Okay.
It was such a trusting place
that I don't think it ever
occurred to any of us
that his diminished state,
followed by his vow of silence
had been chemically induced
by Ra-Sharir.
♪♪
Man: Ra-Sharir had always been
Father Shawbard's mouthpiece,
but now she was taking
control of his checkbook.
I always felt like we were
using our money
to make a better life
for ourselves.
But now she spent it to make
lives worse for others.
Well, if the people of what
was formerly Chinook
were looking for a reaction
with their name change,
they got one.
It seems that the Shawbardites
have been secretly purchasing
all the land
around the town
and now have it encircled.
Man: Heck, I tip my cap
to their ingenuity.
Buying up land is
the American Goddamn dream.
But now they've installed
these speed bumps.
So many speed bumps that at
500-feet worth to be exact.
We decided to take
the News 9 van
over the speed bumps
to give you an idea
of what it feels like.
Back to you, Bob.
It was destroying our mufflers.
And then to make matters worse,
the Shawbardites had secretly
purchased the town muffler shop
and converted it
into a green juice stand.
Ra-Sharir: I think
the people of this town
should see this
as an opportunity.
If your muffler shop is closed,
buy green juice.
You'll be healthier and happier.
You're a monster!
What are you gonna
leave us alone?
Why don't you go back
to your butthole!
This is America.
You cannot open a juice bar
in a muffler shop.
I don't care who your god is,
you need permits.
Man: They used to fix mufflers,
then they served juice.
Then the juice was muffled.
But have we heard
the last of it?
This is war.
We figured war meant she'd T.P.
the grade school.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir: Advance!
Positions.
Man: We didn't think she'd go so
far as to arm themselves.
Fire!
[Gunfire]
It was terrifying!
Man: It was a scary time.
The shooting range was very near
the room we had orgies in.
And more than once, a bullet
came through the wall.
It was clear that
the only person
who could stop Ra-Sharir was
Father Ra-Shawbard.
But he was out of it.
He was certain that Ra-Sharir
had been giving him a cocktail
of Valium
and barbiturates.
He said he need to speak
to the whole community,
but he would need something
to get his energy back.
It did surprise me that a man
who spoke of the purity of mind
and soul had cocaine.
A good deal of cocaine,
as it turns out,
in his bedside drawer.
Ra-Shawbard:
Yeah, talky, talky, talky.
Back back, baby back.
They think I can't hear,
but I hear everything.
I hear the mice think,
I hear the plugs conspiring,
and I realize in my silence,
that I am not
communing with God.
I am God, and my power
will be challenged
by no man and no mouse.
Woman: In the state he was in,
it was easy for Ra-Sharir
to manipulate him.
This is wonderful news!
I believe she convinced him
to prove that he was a god.
Ra-Sharir: Today,
Father Ra-Shawbard
will prove his divinity
by allowing an automobile
to harmlessly pass
through his corporeal body.
- Who?
- You, Father.
Man: One of the Shawbardites
jumped in a car
and barreled down towards
Father Ra-Shawbard,
who was going to prove to us
that he was a god.
I should have said something,
but I actually believed
it might be true.
And if it was,
I wanted to see it.
♪♪
Where...
Where are you going?
Send someone to get my blue hat.
I'm a little chilled.
[Engine revving]
Ra-Sharir?
Oh, my God!
♪♪
♪♪
Woman: It was troubling
that he was
asking for a hospital,
as he had sworn off
the use of modern medicine.
And then...
he said the words that brought
our whole world crashing down.
And after we heard that...
you are surprised
with what happened next?
♪♪
♪ Got together
♪ Splendors of before
♪ When you go down
Breath is the answer
to everything.
Oh, yeah.
Feel it?
Look up to the sky.
Let your body feel it.
Oh, yes.
Oh.
Feeling it this morning.
Body's saying thank you.
Gracias.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
Wayne: Listen, you idiots,
I work for the [echoing] FBI!
And after we heard that...
you are surprised
with what happened next?
♪♪
♪♪
Doss: My name is Bill Doss.
I'm former FBI.
Wayne Delancey,
A.K.A. Father Ra-Shawbard,
was my informant.
♪♪
In the late '70s, I was assigned
to the elite
cult unit of the FBI.
We had been formed
after the tragedy of Jonestown
for the unique purpose
of stopping cult activity.
♪♪
I reached out to a colleague
of mine -- Larry Cooper.
Larry had been
profiling serial killers.
We're having drinks one night,
and I said,
"Larry, how the hell
am I ever gonna know
what a nut bag
like Jim Jones is thinking?"
Larry looks at me and says,
"What if the nut bag
worked for you?"
The problem with profiling
serial killers
is that you can only do it
after they've killed
a bunch of people.
This way, we could learn
what we need to
and no one would get hurt.
It was a hell of a plan...
on paper.
Doss:
Our first order of business was
to find ourselves a front man.
Someone had to run the cult,
right?
And then, like a gift
from the gods,
Paternius just falls
into our lap.
♪ Doo doo doo doo ♪
♪ You know I'll be waiting
on the corner ♪
♪ Whoo-whoo ♪
Paternius -- real name
Wayne Delancey --
had a health food store
on Sunset Boulevard
that specialized in yogurt.
He called the place
Counter Culture.
The place had a staff of about
20 girls, not a bra between 'em.
Cooper:
The guy is raking it in.
Buys a nice house in the hills,
lives there with 50
or so of his followers.
They call themselves Paternians.
Local P.D. tossed it our way
because it qualified
as cult activity.
So we stopped by the yogurt
stand to take a look.
Within five minutes, it's clear
the whole thing is a front
for a drug-dealing operation.
We arrested Wayne in the back
loading the cocaine
into little bags himself.
He just gave us a look like,
"Oh, man."
♪♪
[Camera shutter clicks]
So we figured, "Jackpot."
We could use this interrogation
to get inside
the head of a cult leader.
Wayne, if it wasn't a spiritual
journey, what was it?
I've just always really loved
getting high.
What about the women?
Turns out they really love
getting high, too.
He was always real fast
with a quip.
Yeah, I was jealous of it.
We're gonna have to clip
your wings.
No, no, I get it.
Time to get this old boy
back on the reservation
and let him play possum
till the next time
Crazy Horse taps me on the
shoulder and says, "Let's ride."
I don't really know
what that means, but...
how about
we make a deal?
♪♪
That's a beautiful word,
"deal."
And you're talking
to a dealer.
♪♪
Doss:
So the three of us move into an
office, we start making a plan.
I gotta say, that damn Wayne,
he may have been half a kook,
but, boy, when it came to cults,
he was smart as all get-out.
We asked him,
"How do you get members?"
He said we should take out
an ad with nonsense words on it.
"Purify, elevate, liberate."
People just started calling in
and started
sending money for tapes.
There is the world we see,
but there's also a second world
that we do not.
How do we unlock the door
to that world?
Who has the keys?
Who lives there?
What do they have for breakfast?
He couldn't be Paternius
anymore,
so we had to come up
with a new identity.
Cooper was from Pittsburgh,
big Steelers fan.
Cooper: Oh, yeah, man,
I love the Steelers.
Doss: Wayne suggests
everyone in the cult
should just be
the players names rearranged.
Cooper:
Bradshaw became Shawbard.
Greene and Harris
became Negree and Sharir.
Father calls me Ra-Temblar.
"Tem" is for the temple,
and "blar"
is for the blaring
of the message of love.
I was named after
God's kindness.
Nope. You weren't named
after kindness,
you were named
after Jack Lambert,
meanest son of a bitch
to ever play the game.
When God saw Jack Lambert play
football, he pissed his pants.
Wayne even thought everyone
should wear Steeler colors.
These people thought they were
on a path to enlightenment.
And unbeknownst to them,
they were dressed like
a bunch of drunks
at a tailgate.
[Laughs]
We had a lot of fun.
I don't think about it much
because of how it ended,
but those were good times to be
in the elite cult unit
of the FBI.
♪♪
♪♪
Doss: It's like sending your kid
off to college.
We even loaned out a Rolls-Royce
from evidence
for him
to drive to Oregon.
I remember patting on the hood
and telling him,
"Screw who you want,
do what you want,
but stay off the drugs,
Wayne."
♪♪
Everything got off
to a great start.
People were showing up
every day,
and they were totally
under Ra-Shawbard's control.
So we started our experiment
to see how easily cult members
would surrender
their free will to a leader.
Cooper:
These people ate up everything
Wayne told them to do.
He had them talking
to vegetables,
dancing for hours on end,
spinning in circles.
It was genius.
But my favorite was
Wayne's signature
heliumtopic meditation.
♪♪
Doss: Once a week,
members would suck on helium
and then admit what
they were most ashamed of.
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice]
When I was 15...
I stole my grandmother's locket
from my mother's jewelry drawer.
I pawned it to get money to go
to Florida with my friends.
Doss: After they confessed,
the rest of the group
would wail on them
with pool noodles.
♪♪
And then finish up
with a big old orgy
with one great Wayne detail --
they had to scream their orgasms
into jars
so that they could be saved.
♪♪
[Men, women moaning pleasurably]
He told us that we should save
our moments of ecstasy
should there ever come a time
when darkness falls.
♪♪
It's a career case.
I figured I might be in line
for deputy director,
if not director one day.
When we showed the world what
these cults were really about,
who would ever join one again?
Of course, we...
we didn't count on Ra-Sharir.
♪♪
Ra-Sharir showed up
after the first wave.
[Laughs]
And immediately
engrained herself
into Wayne's inner circle.
Doss:
Wayne told us she was a true
believer like he'd never seen.
I told him, "Don't you ever
let her forget who's in charge.
And, remember,
stay off the drugs, Wayne."
Cooper:
He had a wicker chair,
and Ra-Sharir started
calling it his throne.
We should have seen that
as a red flag.
Doss: I didn't care
about the throne.
What I cared about is,
somehow this Ra-Sharir
was becoming the spokesperson
for the cult that I started.
When I read about the sign
in the grocery store,
I was very upset.
Then she goes and she makes it
a national news story
by threatening
to rename the town.
Tonight, a small town
in Oregon may lose its name.
Ra-Sharbarda.
I reached out to Wayne,
I made it very clear,
I said, "Wayne, you've gotta put
a stop to her."
You're a little out
of your lane, Wayne.
Any chance you can pull your
friend Ra-Sharir back for us?
Wayne: Who?
Ra-Sharir, Wayne.
The one who seems to be
running things over there.
What?
Ra-Sharir?
Yeah, that's right --
Ra-Sharir.
Where?
Oh, yeah, man.
Ra-Sharir, she's...
Yeah, she's --
what a dynamite lady.
Bill you gotta meet her.
How the (bleep)
am I gonna meet her, Wayne?
I'm an FBI agent,
and she's a cult member.
Who is?
Goddamn it. Ra-Sha--
Wayne, are you back on drugs?
That was our one rule,
you son of a bitch!
Whoa!
Take it easy.
Uncalled for.
[Receiver clicks, dial tone]
I always really regretted
yelling at him.
Especially since it was the
last time I ever spoke to him.
News today out of
the Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where where Ra-Sharir
has announced
that Father Ra-Shawbard
has taken a vow of silence.
Father will use his silence
to contemplate
what plagues this world.
Doss:
I saw him in that chair,
and I realized
we had to get him out.
We made a plan.
Larry would go in undercover
and extract Wayne.
♪♪
One day passes,
and I-I don't hear from Larry.
Then two days, then three.
Then on the fourth,
I see him on the news,
dancing with other cult members.
♪♪
Thinking, "Boy, Larry's really
going deep cover on this one."
Then he calls.
Cooper: Bill?
Larry!
Where the hell have you been?
Uh, it's not Larry anymore.
My name is Ra-Tunbol.
What?!
I'm Ra-Tunbol now.
And I'm finally home.
Ra-Tunbol?
God!
It's not Tunbol, it's Blount!
He named you after hall-of-fame
cornerback Mel Blount!
Be happy that the man
you once knew as Larry Cooper
has found a peace he never knew
in the life he's leaving behind.
You're not a cult member,
Larry.
Did you ever think you might
be a member of a cult?
The cult
of law enforcement?
(Bleep) you, Larry!
I did go in to extract Wayne.
That was always the plan.
But every time I talked to a
Shawbardite to get information,
I left the conversation
feeling better about myself.
I'd been divorced twice,
and my kids didn't talk to me.
Maybe it's cause I drank
too much back then
or never called them.
Maybe it's because I spent
too much damn time
hanging out
with serial killers.
Point is, the Shawbardites
taught me to forgive myself.
And once I did...
I was happy.
♪♪
♪♪
Well, I knew I had
to go to the brass.
♪♪
Jack Fancy was
our section chief.
Walking into his office,
thinking it couldn't be worse,
and when I opened the door,
he's watching Ra-Sharir
on the news.
This is an attack
by the federal government
on a religion of peace.
Tonight, we bring you video
out of Shawbard Valley Ranch,
but we warn you what you're
about to see is graphic.
Ra-Sharir?
Man: Oh, my God!
So I'm watching this.
Bill walks in,
and I turn to him and say,
"Do you notice that driver
looks a lot like Agent Cooper?"
♪♪
By the way,
where is Agent Cooper?
He just started to cry.
Yeah, I cried.
I cried hard.
Cried for a real long time.
♪♪
♪♪
Stratus: If you thought
things couldn't get worse
for the people of the town
formerly known
as Chinook,
you'd be mistaken,
as over half of the townspeople
now are infected with pink eye.
Medical officials
say they've seen an influx
of affected patients
and are worried
that they've got a full-scale
epidemic on their hands.
In an effort to get
to the bottom of why
so may in our town
have fallen ill,
our local law enforcement
has pulled security video
from all eating establishments.
We do not think
it is a coincidence
that a town that has never
had this problem before
is having it now --
after a group of Shawbardites
touched
all the items in the salad bar
without even getting a salad.
♪♪
So if our friend Ra-Sharir
is watching,
I'd just like
to say one thing...
enough is enough.
♪♪
Doss: Turns out Ra-Sharir
wasn't satisfied
with giving conjunctivitis
to Chinook.
She was building a pink-eye army
to infiltrate all of Oregon.
♪♪
It was diabolical because
pink eye is so contagious.
♪♪
Around this time, we got a hit
on Ra-Sharir from Interpol.
Her real name is Saavi Chambal,
and she was a known hypnotist.
She was also wanted
in five countries.
Doss:
Turned out, she had a history
of joining cults
with the suspected goal
of convincing everyone
to go off themselves
so she could get away
with the money.
We even found some photos
that led us to believe
she was at Jonestown.
♪♪
That was all we needed
to surround the ranch.
[Siren wailing]
Woman:
Tensions are running high here
outside of
Shawbard Valley Ranch,
where federal agents
have surrounded the area.
Man: The path
to Shawbard Valley Ranch
has been completely blocked
by a barricade of Mason jars.
And what's in these jars
is anyone's guess,
but it could be noxious gases.
Fancy:
There was a theory that we were
dealing with chemical warfare.
I called Agent Doss
to see what he thought.
Doss: I told Agent Fancy
it was probably the jars
they screamed
their orgasms into.
Then he hung up on me.
The hope was that the joy
of the orgasm jars...
would turn back the violent
urges of the law enforcement.
♪♪
It did not.
♪♪
♪♪
Ra-Sharir:
They are coming for us.
You can hear them
getting closer.
Shh.
Doss: Sick to my stomach.
I knew the power Ra-Sharir
had over those people,
and now I knew
what she was planning to do.
But they do not know
that we have a better life
waiting for us
after this one, huh?!
Our fear was that she would
give a suicide order,
and that's exactly
what she did.
So tell me, are you ready
to die today, huh?
I thought I was going to
have the blood of 200 people
on my hands.
I said, are you ready
to die today?!
Man: Um, no.
What?
Who said that?
I just don't think,
like, in general,
that's what
we're here for.
Are you not here to follow
Father Ra-Shawbard?
We are, but, like,
where is he?
He is recovering,
and I speak for him.
If I may, I think what
we're all reacting to
is how aggressive things
have gotten here.
A month ago, this place
had a really good vibe.
Now, there's, like,
guns everywhere
and itchy eyes.
And there are hardly any orgies.
And it's just not
what we all signed up for.
Everyone look at me!
Here's the thing --
the eyes are the most important
tool a hypnotist has.
A hypnotist with pink eye
is like a boxer
with two broken hands.
♪♪
Look at me-e-e-e.
Doss:
Thank God for pink eye.
Fancy:
In a standoff situation,
the dream is everyone
comes out with their hands up.
This was that dream.
[Helicopter blades whirring]
Reporter:
The siege at Shawbard Valley
Ranch is over before it started,
with members turning themselves
in to federal agents.
Most were released within
the course of a day,
save for one, Ra-Sharir,
who is in police custody.
♪♪
Doss: We had multiple witnesses
who corroborated
that Ra-Sharir had tried
to pink eye the entire state.
We could have put her away
for years.
But she had an ace
up her sleeve.
I simply played them a tape
that I thought
they might find interesting.
[Reel whirs]
[Helium hissing]
[High-pitched voice]
I'm an FBI agent.
My partner and I
recruited a man
named Wayne Delancey
to start this cult
and then run it
to our specifications.
[Inhales sharply]
[Helium hissing]
The U.S. government
is responsible
for everything that
has happened here.
[Normal voice] I'm sorry.
[Sobbing]
I cannot speak to why she was
released, but she was released.
Today, the final member
of the Shawbard Valley Ranch
was released
from federal custody,
and Ra-Sharir had a message
for everyone.
You want to know what I think?
Tough titties!
[All shouting]
♪♪
Cooper: I took my pension
and never looked back.
I spent the next few years
getting in touch with my kids.
It's not perfect, but three out
of four of them call me Dad.
I kicked around,
did some odd jobs.
But something was still
missing for me.
And so I went out and found it.
♪♪
♪♪
I think the thing about me
that surprises people the most
is that
I stayed in Chinook.
[Chuckles]
The reality was,
despite how it ended,
I'd enjoyed my time here.
Mm.
Man: I mean, sure,
it was weird at first.
But you get used to things.
Plus, she makes a hell
of a green juice.
Well, sure,
I'm surprised we're friends.
But what can I say?
My God teaches me to forgive.
That doesn't mean I forget.
Every day when I go to pay
for my juice...
I do it in pennies.
♪♪
Fancy: What do I think happened
to Wayne Delancey?
He's probably dead.
Agents on the scene
searched Shawbard's domicile
but couldn't find him.
Based on his injuries
from the car accident
and the fact
that he never saw a doctor,
our best guess, he's buried
on the premises somewhere.
If I ask you to picture
Wayne Delancey
with his beard
shaved off,
wearing an FBI jacket
and sunglasses,
you think it would
look anything like this?
And if he is dead,
do you want to explain to me
why every year
on the anniversary of the raid,
I get a Pittsburgh
Steelers postcard
sent from a different
corner of the globe?
♪♪
When people find out
I'm a Shawbardite,
they are surprised
that I still adhere
to the teachings
of a con man
who was only pretending
to be a spiritual leader.
And the only thing
I can tell them
is that I was sad
before I met him...
and happy when I knew him.
And I don't know what more
to want from anyone
other than that.
♪♪
I do wish he hadn't stolen
from me, though.
♪♪
♪♪
♪♪
[Birds chirping]
♪♪