Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 2, Episode 2 - In Loco - full transcript

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That's a good boy. Hey.

I know for a fact
he's busy all morning.

But if you let me have
a look in the diary...

He must be able to
spare five minutes.

Yeah, maybe.

No. If you could come
back at the end of the day.

- I can't come back.
- What's this?

Oh, Doctor.

- I'm sorry to bother you...
- I was telling Mrs. Richards...

Shut up.



Shut up.

Thank you.

You're Mrs. Richards.

I saw your son last week. Gavin.

- Bobby.
- Yeah.

Has he got something
else lodged up his nostril?

He's got blisters...
His hands, his mouth.

Bobby!

Get out!

Not you... the dog.

Come. Come through.

Rrrrrgh!

Shut the door.

Come on.



Go through. Go on.

It's a skin infection.
Highly contagious.

Impetigo.

I'll prescribe you
some antibiotic cream.

You have to wash his
face four times a day

and then apply the
cream to the blisters.

He'll have to stay home
for a couple of days.

- A couple of days?!
- Yes, that's what I said.

No contact with others.

No sharing of toys
or towels or clothing.

And you mustn't scratch at all.

Cut his fingernails off.

I can't keep him
home. I've got to work.

Well, get your husband to help.

Oh, sure, if I mention impetigo,

he'll ditch his
girlfriend straightaway,

drive overnight from Glasgow,

and give our
marriage one more try.

Good.

So you gonna be the
new head teacher?

It's not for me to say, Peter.

Will you do something
about the I.T. department?

- What I.T. department?
- Exactly.

Okay, everybody.

All right, take that
along to Mrs. Tishell.

She'll give you the tablets.

One in the morning
before food and one...

one in the evening
before going to bed.

Or you can just
die. Your decision.

Who's next?

Cameron Paris.

Cameron Paris!

All right. He's not deaf.

He is, actually.

Uh, well, right. Through you go.

Can you get this
dog out of here?

Now.

Heard anything?

As of 6:00 p.m. last night,

which was the cutoff
point for applications,

it's between you and
two external candidates.

So do you think I'm
in with a chance?

I'd say the odds
are pretty good.

About 3-1.

Oi, oi, oi!

Carry on.

He woke up this morning,
and he was stone-deaf.

Hmm.

I'm just going to
talk to your mother.

Sorry?

There's a buildup of
fluid in his auditory canal.

- It's bad news, I'm afraid.
- Good God.

I'm sorry to have to tell you,

but it's only a matter of time
before your son's head explodes.

What?!

Back to school, I think.

Cameron! You are in big trouble!

Sorry, Doc. He's
always trying for time off.

You won't tell his
teacher about this?

I mean, I know you probably
have to, in your position.

My position being?

Well, you're one
of the governors.

No, I'm not.

Yes, you are.

Since when?

I don't know.

But there's a
meeting in your diary.

Look.

"Friday, 12:30.

School governors."

Mr. Sands.

Can you give me one good reason

why anybody would think I
was a governor of this school?

Well, Dr. Sim was a
community governor before you.

Dr. Blake before him.

And?

And you said you'd
be happy to help.

When did I say this?

In the letter you sent.
Two months ago?

What letter?

Well, I'll show you.
I've got it in my office.

Did I sign this letter?

Yes.

At least, it was
signed on your behalf.

By my receptionist...

Elaine. Yes.

Who is an imbecile,

which I would suggest
renders your letter null and void.

Oh!

Oh.

Are you all right?

- You okay, Martin?
- Yes, fine.

Never better. Thank you.

Well, if you really can't
make the meeting on Friday,

we'll have to reschedule
the interviews.

What?

Martin doesn't want
to be a governor.

But I-I'm all geared
up for Friday.

I don't understand.

Well, Louisa's one of the
candidates for the headship.

We were hoping the board
could appoint someone this week.

Martin, we need
to get on with this.

Please.

All right. I'll be there.

Thank you.

Don't expect any favors, though.

Course not.

Right.

Tom, Connor, Emilio.

- Chess club?
- Yes, please.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, hi, love.

How was your day?

Boring.

It's always boring.

You got some post.

Well, if it's junk, tear it up.

Uh-oh. "Final reminder."

We haven't paid
the electric bill.

Oh, God.

It's okay. I'm sure
they won't cut us off.

I'll go and get your inhaler.

Thanks, love.

Are you open
yet? We're starving.

We'd like two cod and
chips, one with extra chips,

two chicken and ham pies...

Mom!

Don't touch it, don't touch it!

It's okay. It's
okay, love. It's fine.

- Best get the doc on this.
- Yeah.

Okay, okay.

Breathe, now. Breathe,
breathe, breathe.

Doc.

Uh, Bert, give me some space.

Oh, sorry. Okay.

All right, Mrs. Cronk,
breathe slowly.

- I just need a moment.
- Yeah, try not to speak.

- Do you have any cling film?
- Yeah.

Got to keep the
air from this burn.

- A nasty burn, I thought.
- Nasty.

Gonna call you an ambulance.

- I can't leave the shop.
- Shush.

Yeah, this is Dr. Ellingham
from the Portwenn surgery.

I need an ambulance

at the fish-and-chips
shop on Rose Street.

A patient with an
acute asthma attack

and severe burns
on the arm and hand.

No, that's not quick enough.

Oh, you work it out.

Ambulance is on its way.

Don't make me go.

Mom, we have to go.

- We need the money.
- Give me your arm.

I can't go.

We can run the place
for you. Me and Al.

Huh?

Well, I have some experience
in the catering trade.

- Dad, we're plumbers.
- I know, I know.

But we can keep the
place ticking over for you

until you get better, okay?

- No...
- What's that?

No...

No, you're very
welcome, love. No, really.

It'll be fine, be fine.

Okay.

They're keeping her
in for a couple of days.

They've put her on a nebulizer
for the asthma... salbutamol.

And for the burn they
just put her on morphine.

Where have you been?

Talking to her doctor, but
clearly I needn't have bothered.

Mom's worried about
where I'll sleep tonight.

What's wrong with your house?

Nothing, apart from the
fact that I'll be all by myself,

which I'm guessing
is against the law.

So I'll have to
stay with an adult.

Uh, no. Out of the question.

Not with me. No.

Why?

Because, um, it's...

It's simply not
possible, obviously.

Oh.

Oh, Peter, I heard
about your mom.

I'm so sorry.

Well, Peter was rather
hoping he could stay with you.

No, I wasn't.

Well, um, I don't know.

Well, as I was just
explaining to Peter,

you are a... a... a woman.

Oh. Glad you noticed.

Yeah, years of medical training.

So that's all settled, then?

- Please. I'll be quiet.
- Shh.

Well, I'd love to, but
I'm not sure, Martin.

It's not a great time.

I've got a lot on,
you see, Peter.

It's my interview on Friday.

Right. Well, I'm... I'm...
I'm sure you'll work it out.

- Good night.
- But, um...

Right.

Okay, then, Peter. Do
you want to come in?

Nice to see you.

Can I watch TV?

No. I told you,
it's nearly bedtime.

It's nearly 9:00. It's
not the same thing.

Peter, please. I
need to concentrate.

Just... Just sit quietly.

What you reading?

Stuff.

What stuff?

Boring stuff, but stuff
I need to know about.

Now, for the last
time, will you shush?

I'm bored.

That is not my fault, Peter!
I didn't ask you to be here.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean that.

You're not like this in school.

What am I like, then?

Kinder.

Peter, in school you
have my full attention.

And out of school,
I have other things.

See, people have other
things on their minds.

Okay, I'll go, then.

Thanks, Peter.

Hey, and don't forget
to brush your teeth.

- Night.
- Night.

Who is it?

Peter.

Miss Glasson had
other things on her mind.

Hello?

Have you lost something?

Um, w-what are
you talking about?

- Peter Cronk.
- Sorry?

What?!

He says you threw him out.

Well, uh... The little... From
the room, not the house!

Look, I needed a
bit of quiet, that's all.

Look, I-I told you I've got a
lot of reading to do, Martin.

Well, finish your reading
and come and get him.

Well, it's very late.

You couldn't let him stay
there with you, could you?

No. I'm sorry.

I'm... I'm simply not equipped.

Peter.

Peter!

Oh, God. H-He's
fallen asleep now.

Well, in that case, we'd
better not disturb him, then.

Good night.

You don't have to walk me
to school. I know the way.

Peter, you're my responsibility

until I deliver you
to Miss Glasson,

at which point you become
her responsibility, finally.

- Can I have some crisps?
- No.

I'm hungry.

Well, you should have eaten
more breakfast, shouldn't you?

I'm gonna check in
on your mother today.

- Maybe I could come with you?
- No.

Miss Glasson can
take you to the hospital.

You'll be staying
with her from now on.

I don't want to stay
with Miss Glasson.

I don't care.

- Mrs. Richards?
- Oh, Doctor, hello.

Did you bring
your son to school?

Yeah.

Did his highly contagious
impetigo clear up overnight?

Miss Glasson said I should
bring him in as normal.

Oh, well, if Miss Glasson
said that it's all right,

by all means feel free
to infect the entire school.

- But Miss Glasson...
- Thank you. Well done.

Oi! You two!

Get off. Get off.

Everyone inside now.

What do you think
you're doing, Bobby?

It's not your playtime.

He called me Spotty!

I did not. Spotty! Spotty!

Just stop it.

Louisa. Can I have a word?

You two, wait inside.

Could you call me Miss Glasson
in front of the kids, please?

I gave clear instructions

that the impetigo case
should stay at home.

Bobby Richards...
The "impetigo case"...

His mother works.

Now, it might have
escaped your attention,

but for a lot of
people in Portwenn,

work is an economic necessity.

Well, this is a
medical necessity.

Unless the case is isolated,
the disease spreads.

- Is that clear?
- Yes, Doctor.

So you'll send the boy home.

I will deal with the
situation straightaway.

Thank you.

- Oh, Peter.
- What?

Look, I am sorry
about last night.

Yeah, whatever.

Oh, Peter, d...

It's not like you're
completely innocent.

You can't just decide to walk
out in the middle of the night

without talking to anyone.

Hmm? Hey, Petey?

Call me Peter in
front of the kids.

Come on.

Oi. Inside.

Hi, there, Doc. All right.

- Got a minute?
- Uh, no.

Yeah, I've just got
some questions.

Bit delicate. Bit personal.

D.O.B.?

- What?
- I need your date of birth.

What for?

I have to run a check to see
if you've got a criminal record.

Well, I haven't got
a criminal record.

I know that, but I have
to go through the motions.

If you're looking after a
young boy in loco parentis,

I have to be sure you're
a fit and proper guardian.

I'm not looking after anybody.

Have you ever been
arrested for a sexual offense?

Absolutely not!

- Bet he has.
- Pervert.

You can tell by
the look on his face.

I am not looking
after Peter Cronk.

That's not what Peter says.

Found him on his
own, up on the top road,

waiting for a bus
to see his mom.

- You can take him, can't you?
- No, I can't.

You're so concerned
about the boy,

why don't you look after him?

- I'm on duty.
- So am I.

Yes, but are you likely to get
called away at a moment's notice

to deal with an armed robbery?

No. Are you?

Come on, Doc. The
poor lad needs you.

Oh, good, you're still here.

Could you look at
Cameron's hand?

Ah.

Congratulations. Impetigo.

Um, follow me. I'll
write you a prescription.

Doc says he'd love
to take you to Truro.

Thanks.

How can I teach you
the secrets of fine cuisine

when you're standing over there?

Plumbing's what we know, Dad.

You're just gonna make
it worse for the woman.

I got my merit badge
in food preparation

before you were born.

You don't know
what you're doing.

You haven't even put
the oil on to heat yet.

- What?
- Oil.

Well, I'll turn it on
when there's a customer.

You've seen
their electricity bill.

It's a whopper.

Dad, that amount of oil is
gonna take an hour to heat up.

I know.

We're never gonna
make any money,

and we're supposed to start on
Mr. Baskin's cesspit tomorrow.

I'm a man of my word.

When I say I do
something, so be it.

Yeah, but how is it helping

if you run her business
into the ground?

Well, where you going?

Well, you stick to your,
uh... Your gourmet cuisine,

and I'll stick to the plumbing.

Don't mind him. He's a teenager.

Dad, I'm 25.

25.

How's Mom?

Yeah, we're just gonna see her.

Oh, send our love.

- Hello, Doc.
- Bert.

Can I try some fish?

Just checking.

Mom would want to know.

Fish?

So Bert and Al are
doing a good job?

Definitely.

- You thank them for me.
- Of course.

You'll be lucky if you get
the chance to thank Al.

What?

It's nothing, Mom. Nice flowers.

If you ask me, it'll be a while

before Bert and Al
work together again.

What, Bert's on his own?

He'll burn my shop down.

No, he won't.

- Will he, Doc?
- Hmm?

No. Of course he won't.

Can't even turn the fryers on.

He's... He's selling
uncooked fish?

Mom? Mom?

I'll get the nurse.

Why did you say that?

I was just trying to
put the woman at ease.

Maybe next time you could
put her in a coma or something.

Can I get a video?

Why don't you read a book?

When I was a child,
I didn't watch videos.

Had they invented TV then?

Oh, very funny.

I'll get an educational one.

Wash your hands
after touching that.

I thought it was good to
build up your immune system.

Just...

Ugh.

- Hi.
- Ah. Come in.

Um...

I just wondered how...
How Mrs. Cronk is.

Ah.

Progressing.

Martin, I-I do understand
about patient confidentiality.

But a little bit more than
"progressing," please.

Right, yes. She, um...

She should be home
in a couple of days.

Her asthma's under control.

More or less.

I'm going to refer her to a
respiratory physiotherapist.

- Oh, right. Well, that's good.
- Yeah.

Oh, and thanks for
looking after Peter.

Oh. Yeah, well...

It's funny the way he
looks up to you, isn't it?

Yes. Probably 'cause I
don't have a criminal record.

Yeah.

I'll... I'll just say
hello before I go.

Hi there.

- Hi.
- What are you watching?

Martin?

Turn it off.

Oh, but they was just about to
eat the virgin's eyeballs and...

Off! Now.

- Martin.
- He told me it was educational.

Yes.

And he's just said the
words "virgin's eyeballs."

Is that bad?

- Dad?
- Oh. Hello, son.

Bit quiet, is it?

Oh, I've been run off my feet.

I don't know how
Mrs. Cronk does it.

I mean, another
night like tonight,

and I'll need a bigger till.

Good. You'll have plenty
of change for a £50, then.

- Oh, right.
- Got a bloke waiting.

- Just finished his boiler.
- Good.

- Change.
- Oh!

Sorry. Yeah.

Sorry. Gets stuck sometimes.

Nope. Sorry.

Let me.

I'm telling you, it's broke.

You've been robbed.

Wednesday's a
bad night for fish.

Why don't you try Mrs.
Richards down the pub?

She'll sort you out.

You see, 10-year-olds
don't always know

what's best for them.

I did.

Yes. But, um...

you're a bit different
from the rest of us.

I'm not saying there's
anything wrong with that.

I quite like the way you are.

Do you?

Yes.

And about this morning...

You know, I do
listen to what you say.

And there's nothing
more important to me

than the kids' welfare.

There's no way
that I'd do anything

to put their health at risk.

Why are you being like this?

Like what?

Like this.

It's nothing to do
with Friday, is it?

- Friday?
- Your interview.

You will, Louisa,
have my full support,

but only if you're the
best candidate for the job.

Why do you always do this?

What?

Doc?

Doc?

What?!

It's nothing. It doesn't matter.

Come here.

Peter.

What is it?

I'm all itchy.

Let me see.

It's what Bobby's got, isn't it?

I know it hasn't been long,

but they're worse,
aren't they, Doc?

I did everything you told me to.

You've been applying the
cream four times a day?

Twice yesterday,

and Miss Glasson took care
of it during school this morning.

What, he's still
going to school?

Well, yeah. Miss Glasson said.

Right.

Miss Glasson said, did she?

Look up.

Yeah. Impetigo.

Has Lucy been in contact

with Gavin Richards
or Cameron Paris?

No, of course she has,

because Portwenn has one doctor
and 966 people who know better.

- Ugh!
- Sick!

Not right.

Oh, God, I hate that.

Louisa.

You just can't stay
away from me, can you?

You allowed infected
children into the school.

As a consequence, three more
of your pupils have impetigo.

You think you can
ignore my advice?

Martin, please, I...

What would happen if everyone in
Portwenn ignored medical advice?

Disease would rampage.

Bodies will pile up in the
streets, awaiting burial,

rats scrabbling
through cottages.

Martin, I think you
should just listen...

And in years to come,

when archaeologists
unearth the ruins of Portwenn,

someone will ask the question,

"How did this unspeakable
disaster occur?"

"How?! Because
Miss Glasson said!"

I arranged for the sick kids

to be taught in
separate classrooms,

one away from everyone else.

No one has swapped
books, shared towels,

or done anything they're
not supposed to do.

Well, it's not working,

because there are three
more cases of impetigo!

And that is not my fault
or the fault of this school!

Is that clear?!

Very clear.

Pauline...

Peter. What are you doing?

You are highly
contagious. I've told you.

Get in the kitchen.

Mom called. She's
coming home this afternoon.

Wait a minute.

Aah!

I want you to write
down the names

of everyone you've
been in contact with

in the last 48 hours...
All your friends.

I'm like you.

Don't have any friends.

Oh, now, why am I not
surprised to see you?

He's no better. If
anything, he's worse.

All right. Go through.

We've been
applying the ointment.

We need some more.

And the cream
hasn't worked at all.

Is it the wrong cream?

It's more likely to be
the wrong infection.

What, you made a mistake?

No. It's a perfectly
reasonable hypothesis.

So if it's not
impetigo, what is it?

Well, we'll find that out when
we get the results, won't we?

I'll give you a call. Please.

Pauline, could you get this
to the path lab for analysis,

A.S.A.P., please?

- A.S.A.P.
- Yes.

Uh, thank you.

Why are you sending
it off for analysis?

Uh, because there's a vague
chance that it's not impetigo.

- Is it bad?
- It's nothing to worry about.

Give me that magazine
and pen, please.

Thanks. Now get
back in the kitchen.

And don't touch that.

Right you are, Richard. Enjoy.

- Thanks.
- Ooh, ta.

I'm gonna need some
more fish at this rate.

- Yes, love?
- Cod and chips, please.

- Oi, dad.
- Hello, boy.

You, uh... You do this
all by yourself, did you?

Oh, excuse me.

Can you see anybody
else helping me?

- No.
- No.

So, uh, who taught you
how to cook overnight, then?

Well, I taught myself,
didn't I? Trial and error.

The secret of
successful fish batter

is no different than the
secret of a successful life.

It's all in the wrist.

Ta. Thank you.

Mmh.

Frank Barney.

- Uh, chips, please.
- Coming up.

- Mom!
- Love.

Ooh!

Oh, what's that?

Doesn't matter.

Well, what is it? Tell me.

It's a mystery skin disease.

We're waiting for the lab to
get back to us with the results.

Well, how did you get it?

Quite easily. All
his friends have it.

It doesn't matter.

Look at all those customers!

Here we are, Doreen.
Remember... Go light on the chips.

Oh! Here she is. Welcome home!

I can't serve these
punters quick enough.

- Oh, would you like something?
- Oh, no. No, thanks, Bert.

I just came to say hello
and, well, thank you.

Well, you're very
welcome, my love.

Do you want me to carry
on with this deep-fried lark?

No. No, I think I can take
over from now, Bert, thanks.

Oh, no, you don't, Mrs.
Cronk. No, not with that hand.

Not for at least a week.

Oh.

I suppose it'll be all right.

I can help.

Peter, uh, don't
take this personally.

But with a face like that, I
think you'd best leave it to me.

Right.

Bye, Doc.

Doreen, where you
going? You ain't paid yet.

What are you doing?

What do you mean,
what I am doing?

You're selling the pub's
fish and chips, aren't you?

Look, son, it's like this...

I'm just a good Samaritan
doing my best for a neighbor.

Now, she fell in the
gutter... Or the batter.

Now, I could have walked on by.

But, no, I chose to
cross over the street,

give her a helping hand,
give her a few shekels.

Yeah, and cost
her some, as well.

I mean, look...

The pub isn't gonna give
you this lot for free, is it?

Well, their charges are
a bit more than Mrs. C.

Actually, quite a lot more.

We'll have to advise Mrs.
C her prices are a bit low.

You mean you're paying
more than what you're getting?

What you gonna tell Mrs. C...

"Welcome back. Here's your
bill from the Crab and Lobster"?

If you don't mind, my
food's getting a bit cold.

Yes. Now, that is a
very, very good question.

Enjoyment.

Enjoyment is the
birthright of every child,

and teaching
should give children

the life chances
that they deserve.

Setting standards. Aiming high.

This kind of thing.

Blah, blah, blah.

Yeah.

Ellingham.

Brian Diehl.

I've got the results from
the swab you sent me.

Very interesting.

Why do you say it's interesting?

It seems it's not
impetigo after all.

You're dealing with a
highly resistant staph...

Erysipelothrix rhusiopathiae.

That's a zoonosis, isn't it?

It is, indeed. Very rare.

I told you it was
very interesting.

This staph that can't be passed
through humans... only animals.

In fact, I've not seen a bout
as interesting as this since...

What's a zoonosis?

What are you doing?!

Don't listen to people's
private phone calls.

And why are you here?

Looking for my exercise book.

You know I'll just
look it up anyway,

so you might as well tell me.

A zoonosis is a disease
passed from animals to humans.

Like bird flu?

Yeah.

So are we gonna die?

Not soon enough for my liking.

You've probably just got enough
time to get home, if you run.

Right.

Pauline, get PC Mark
Mylow on the phone.

Tell him there's a
dangerous dog on the loose.

I want it caught
and put to sleep.

Put to sleep?

Destroyed, Pauline. Killed.

Sent to that big doggy
basket in the sky.

- All right, Doc?
- Fine.

Yeah, I've, uh... I've
spoken to the vet.

The dog can be treated.

That's not enough.
I want him dead.

The vet?

Ha ha.

No, I've checked.
There's a list.

This isn't a notifiable disease.

You don't have the power
to have him destroyed.

It's a dangerous dog.

But has he actually hurt anyone?

- Yes.
- Not by attacking them.

He didn't actually bite
the children, did he?

So we can't go by the
Dangerous Dog Act of 1991.

He doesn't deserve
the death sentence,

even if you were able to
give him one, which you're not.

Those children have an
extremely unpleasant skin condition.

Not as bad as having
your ears chewed off

or your throat torn open.

That'd be nasty.

Why doesn't anyone in
this village do as I say?

Mark.

What?

Put that down.

I have work to do,
even if you don't.

Okay. Well, I'll just
finish this, and I'll be off.

That's the law, Doc.

Oh, you looking up rude words?

I'm trying to find
Erysipelothrix rhusiopathiae.

Not until you're married.

Don't forget... You've
got the school thing today.

If Louisa Glasson gets it,

there's a bit of a
party later at the Crab.

What happens if she doesn't?

No one in Portwenn
will talk to you.

I could live with that.

Mind you, they won't
talk to you anyway.

Not if you kill the dog.

I don't need that dog killed.

I just need it treated

and preferably
removed from the village.

What are you still doing here?

I've got a
flesh-eating bug. Cool.

It's a microorganism transferred
from animals to humans,

most commonly children
because they're disgusting.

Now, please leave.

Now, quiet, you lot!

Peter!

What do you think
you're doing in here?

Now, everyone just calm down!

Now, quiet, or it's detention!

Peter, what's going on?

You know you're
supposed to be in Room 3.

I've got a flesh-eating bug!

No, you haven't.

Yes, I have.

It's called Erysipelothrix
rhusiopathiae.

Doc Martin said.

Class. Will you all
just calm down?!

Peter, you get out!

You get out!

You all know
Dr. Ellingham, don't you?

This is Mel Collins,
our LEA governor;

one of our parent
governors, Stu Mackensie;

and Tim Barton, the
other community governor.

It was just a mole.

I beg your pardon?

That spot I was worried about.
You said I was being stupid.

Well, I was right, then.

Yeah. Uh, shall we?

So, what's going on with
this impetigo business?

It's not impetigo.
It's a zoonosis.

Sounds nasty.

Well, I'll give the children

a dose of penicillin
while I'm here.

But surely they're off
school... The infected kids?

Uh, Miss Glasson
felt... Or it was felt...

That the children would be
better off attending school.

That doesn't sound very wise.

Miss who?

One more time, Peter Cronk,
and I am gonna throttle you

and feed your body
to the sea gulls.

Now, stay out!

Miss Glasson.

One of our candidates.

Uh, hello.

If you were gonna improve

the school's equal-opportunities
policy, where would you start?

Mmh.

More to the point, how
long would it take you?

Goes without saying...

We have a duty to
provide for all children,

regardless of gender,
race, ethnicity, religion,

color, creed, sexual
orientation, disability.

If it goes without saying,
why are you saying it?

So, um, we need to understand

how progress
in... in one subject

can feed through
to progress in others.

And, um, we need to look for
ways to make good teaching

and... and learning cross over

from one part of
the curriculum to...

to other parts
of the curriculum.

If you see what I mean.

What would you say
were your strengths?

Uh...

Well, this is silly because,
as you would imagine,

I've prepared an
answer to that question.

But in the heat of
the moment... phewt!

How about an answer
you haven't prepared?

Um...

I think I'm good at listening.

Well, is that something a head
teacher should be able to do?

Absolutely. Yes.

Because I think it means
you're still prepared to learn.

And how can you
encourage others to learn

if you refuse to learn yourself?

So, if a doctor gave you
some medical advice,

you wouldn't ignore him?

No.

And yet I gather
from Dr. Ellingham,

he advised that the infected
kids shouldn't come to school,

to prevent the spread of
this nasty skin infection...

Impetigo.

Or zoonosis? Whatever it is.

Uh, it's a staphylococcus.

But as I said, now
that I know what it is,

I can treat it with the
penicillin I've brought with me.

Your decision to allow

the children to come to school

could have put
dozens of kids at risk.

How can you justify your
refusal to take his advice?

Right.

Look, some parents have to work.

They can't keep
their kids at home

without paying someone
to look after them,

and they can't pay
anyone anything

if they've barely got
enough for themselves.

Now, unlike some people,

I understand the reality
of life in this village.

I know which parents need help,

I know what sort of help they
need, and I know how to give it.

And of course I wouldn't put
any child at risk of infection.

With respect, you did.

You encouraged the
kids to come to school.

You brought them together.

No. We took special precautions.

We hired an extra
classroom assistant.

Every infected child
was segregated.

They were taught away from
the others, in a separate room.

They were given
separate playtimes.

And as I told Dr. Ellingham,

there was no sharing of
books, pens, papers, nothing.

Now, we provided a service
to the kids, to the parents,

and the community.

And we followed medical
advice to the letter.

Thank you, Peter.

Ah, Miss Glasson.

Come in, please.

Uh, excuse me. I have
to see to the children.

Whether I've got this job
or not, Martin Ellingham,

I will never forgive you
for stitching me up like that.

I didn't stitch you up.

Who told them I ignored
your advice, if it wasn't you?

I'd be perfectly entitled
to tell them that, if I did...

Because you never
listen! Why don't you listen?

And now Peter tells me...

In case it has escaped
your attention...

That the skin infection
came from your bloody dog.

- Miss Glasson.
- Yes, coming.

It's not my dog.

Next.

Can't I just have a flesh-eating
bug for one more day?

No. Bend over.

All right. Did you feel that?

Wow. I didn't feel a thing.

That's 'cause I haven't
done anything yet.

- Ow!
- There you go.

Right. That's all
of you. Off you go.

Congratulations.

I thought I was the last person
you'd want running the school.

No, you're... you're the
most suitable candidate.

By far.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

I'm sorry if... If I
misunderstood.

Easily done.

I'm having a drink tonight
at the pub, if you fancy it.

Thank you.

Right.

- Hello!
- Looking cute as always!

Ladies. Oi.

Whoa!

- Dad.
- Oh. Hello, boy.

Come to gloat, have you?

You told her yet?

Well, I don't know how to.

I mean, shortfall...
It's a lot of money.

Well, it serves you right, eh?

Ugh.

Your old dad's messed up.

There's no need to
have a go at me as well.

Well, what do you
want me to do about it?

Hand you over a wad of cash

so you can bail
yourself out of trouble?

Well, that's up to you.

- But I would ask you one thing.
- Hmm?

What's family for, eh?

Mmh.

Thing is, I had a word
with Mrs. Richards.

And she says she's
charging you at cost,

seeing as you're
helping Mrs. Cronk.

So she can't imagine why you
think you owe her any money.

Nice try, Dad.

Stop it!

Oh, look! Look what
you've done! Look!

Stay there.

Stay right there.

Hey!

Quiet. Quiet, please.

I'd like to propose a toast, uh,

to our new headmistress, Miss G.

It was a bit of a ropey
start, though, wasn't it?

Were you looking down my top?

Yep.

Get out!

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