Doc Martin (2004–…): Season 2, Episode 1 - Old Dogs - full transcript

See those three houses
there, the one on the left?

Used to be a lovely
old man lived there.

And he had this
pretty little greenfinch

that used to sit on his
finger and sing to him.

It was the most
beautiful thing I ever saw.

Aah!

Martin!

Aah!

Martin.

I've got you.

I've got you...



you filthy, stinking dog.

Give it to me.

Give it to me.

Come on. Just give it to me.

Come on!

Let go! Drop it!

Drop it! Give it to me!

Give it to me! Drop it!

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possible by Acorn Media

I should be in the surgery.

It won't take long.

Well, let's hope their
condition is grave.

House calls are not an
efficient use of my time.

Come along, Martin.



Mu!

And you shouldn't be
on the airwaves, you see?

You can't do it properly.

No, I don't take
calls in the afternoon.

Oh. "Call Nick Wright."

Call Nick Wrong, if you ask me.

I've complained to
the Culture Secretary.

Who are you?

Oh, Mu, you remember
Martin, my nephew.

Dr. Ellingham. He's
come about your ankle.

Oh, now he comes.

Where were you yesterday
when it was up like a balloon?

Yesterday? I thought
this was an emergency.

I was worried.

Well, quick about
it, then. I'm busy.

Mrs. Steel, I've driven
out here to see you

when I should be in my surgery.

What do you want... a medal?

- I'll take your shoe off.
- It was my fault.

I left some post on the
stairs, and she slipped.

Any sensitivity here?

No.

- Here?
- No.

- Here?
- No.

I'll go and put the kettle on.

I suppose that's
the way of things.

You get on in years.

You're not as sure of yourself,

maybe slip up here and
there, start to lose your nerve.

How long have you been slipping?

No, not me. You.

I was told how you couldn't keep
up with the big boys in London

and came running
back to Portwenn.

You have a mild sprain.

I'll prescribe some painkillers
and some anti-inflammatories.

Ooh, look at his face.

It reminds me of when I
used to spit on my hankie

and wipe the
Chockies off your face.

Little Marty.

Keep the weight
off it for a few days.

You sure you won't stay for tea?

Any problems, come
and see me in the surgery.

Mrs. Steel.

Doctor.

- So, how is she?
- She's rude.

The anti-inflammatories
should bring the swelling down.

No, no, no, I don't
mean the ankle.

Do you think she's
muddled in any way?

Why?

Well, Danny, her son,
thinks she's losing it,

but I think she's fine.
What do you think?

She's functioning, isn't she?

Yes, but...

perhaps if I could tell him
that you'd examined her.

Auntie Joan, if you
want me to assess

your friend's mental state,

then call the surgery.

Martin, she is just in there.

Um...

have you any idea
what the time is?

Not now you've put
something in front of the clock.

But I suppose that was
deliberate, wasn't it?

Mm-hmm.

I'd say it was about...
just after half past 8:00.

Do you know when the
Second World War started?

1919.

The Treaty of Versailles.

The Germans were
humiliated. It was a sham.

The only place that was
ever going was World War Il.

Thank you, Mrs. Steel.

So, it's a pass.

- She's fine.
- Thank you.

Well, then, Doc, all right?

Yes.

Has Paul arrived yet?

- Paul?
- Paul, yeah.

Hello, Martin.

Hello.

Uh, sorry. Do you
want to come in?

Um, yes.

I'm glad I bumped into
you. I've been meaning to...

Yes, well, considering
we live in the same village,

it's actually quite impressive

that you haven't managed
to bump into me before now.

Yes, I... Well, then, I
just wanted to say...

Sorry.

Sorry, sorry, Louisa. I know
they're here somewhere.

You were so rude.

I'm a doctor.

I cannot believe that you'd
think it was acceptable

to... kiss me

and then imply
that I had a problem

when we'd both been
up all night, by the way...

Louisa, I've found the, um...

drinking hospital coffee

and having kittens
over Peter's accident.

And then you start banging
on about dental hygiene.

Well, it's not on,
Martin. It's just not on.

Thank you, Mrs. Tishell.

That'll be £3.98...
Three for the price of two.

- Did you want a bag?
- Um, yes, thank you.

And, frankly, if that was
supposed to be an apology,

it was pretty rubbish.

Louisa, your change!

Oh, dear.

Oh, I only wanted to
save her some money.

It's three for two on the, um...

You don't think I've
upset her, do you, Doctor?

Morning, Doc.

Cup of tea on your desk,

booked in three
appointments this afternoon,

and the lab called
about something.

Lots of Latin words.

Couldn't catch it all, but
their number is by your phone.

Who are you?

- Paul.
- Paul?

Pauline. Elaine's cousin.

- Where's Elaine?
- Pompeii.

Pompeii?

Mm, Pompeii, where Greg's
doing road studies or whatever.

Her boyfriend.

So, I'm here.

What do you mean,
so you're here?

What?

Well, it's not for Elaine to
decide who should replace her

when she's away
without consulting me.

Relax. Elaine's busy.
I'm covering for her.

It's not forever.

Well, would you get me
Elaine on the telephone, then?

No. I don't need this.
I'm just doing her a favor.

I think I messed up my ribs.

Oh, my God, who
have you been fighting?

No one.

- Name?
- Eddie Rix.

Would you go through, please?

Well, help yourself, then.

You stay here.

- Well, I wasn't...
- Stay.

Ow. Ohh.

- Give me your arm.
- Aah.

- Does that hurt?
- Aah. Ohh.

Hmm.

It won't stop me going
out on the boat, will it?

Uh, yeah, at least
a couple of days.

Well, I got to go out.

It's all down to me now, see?

I cursed my boys for not
coming on the boat with me,

buggering off to the city.

And look at it now, eh?

"Plenty more fish in the sea,"
that's what we used to say.

Ha!

That is nasty.

I thought he'd need
this for the shock.

He's not in shock.

Thank you.

Please leave us.

I suspect you've broken a rib.

Whoever did that
wants locking away.

No one did it.

Well, ribs don't spontaneously
break on their own.

I mean, I didn't see who did it.

Some guy jumped me and ran off.

You were mugged. No way.

In Portwenn. Cool.

I'll give you
something for the pain.

The doctor in A&E
will give you a report,

which you'll need
to bring back to me.

Well, it'll heal
by itself, won't it?

Well, let's see what
the X-ray says, shall we?

X-ray? Well, I don't
want to go to hospital.

It's not that bad.

Ow!

Thanks, Paul. Where is he?

Eddie, I heard about
your misfortune. Very sorry.

What?

How do you know...

Paul called me.
Nasty bruise, I gather.

Now, now, it's nothing, Mark.

It's just... Well, it's just one
of those things, you know?

You say that, but do you know
how many muggings I've had

in Portwenn?

Go on. Have a guess.

No.

- Guess.
- No.

None.

Not one.

This is a bleak
day for Portwenn.

Come on, Eddie.
Let's get it sorted.

All right, Al.

All right, Al.

- Hi, Paul.
- Hey, Al.

So, uh, how was Penzance?

Newlyn. All right, yeah.

Good to be back, though.

- Yeah. Cool.
- Yeah.

You look totally the same
as you used to look in maths.

Yep. Just got this cartridge
for the doc's printer.

- I can put it in.
- I'll do it.

So, Elaine's gone to
see Greg, then, yeah?

Yeah, yeah.

She say when she's
gonna come back?

Few days. Don't know.

Did she leave a message
for me or anything?

Sorry.

All right.

Are you Dr. Ellingham?

Do you mind? This
is my consulting room.

I'm sorry. I've come
down from London.

Have you any idea what it takes

to get someone in
a decent care home?

I beg your pardon?

My mother... finally,
after months of waiting

and paperwork and
expense, it's sorted.

And I get in the
car and I drive...

When I'm actually
supposed to be in London...

And I get here, only to find
the local G.P. has scuppered it.

I have absolutely no idea
what you're talking about.

Muriel Steel.

You saw her this morning
and gave her the all clear,

you and your Auntie Joan,

who, quite frankly, would do
well to mind her own business.

She knew she had to go.

She accepted it.
Now she's refusing.

On good grounds.

Care homes exist for
cases of individual need

and not for the convenience

of offspring who've chosen
to live 300 miles away

from their parents.

Convenience?

Doctor, with respect,
she's dementing.

I asked your mother
two standard questions

for testing cognitive
impairment,

and she passed
with flying colors.

Two questions! You are joking.

I speak to her
every single night.

Most of the time,

she doesn't know whether
it's Tuesday or Selfridges.

Now, whose fault is it gonna be

when she gets hit
by a car on the road

or uses a hair
dryer in the bath?

Look... Look, Doctor,

I understand you
probably meant well,

and I can forgive you that.

I really can.

But please trust me when I tell
you you've made a mistake here,

and I think we'd sort this
whole thing out a lot more quickly

if you'd just admit it.

I attended your mother
for a medical complaint.

I also informally assessed
her cognitive functioning

and was satisfied

that no further
examination was necessary.

Now, you can forgive me or not,

but that is my professional
opinion, and this is my surgery.

Now, I'd be very grateful
if you'd bugger off!

Mark.

Just walk on by, Doc.

Okay.

Plainclothes.

What?

Our friend... 5'11",
white, dark hoodie...

Has Eddie Rix's wallet.

What's he gonna do
with the credit card?

He's gonna try and use it
quick, before it's cancelled.

And if he does show
himself, I'm here.

Right.

Is it likely that the thief

would use the card of a
local man in Portwenn?

He'd go somewhere
else, wouldn't he?

I think what you're
missing here, Doc,

is it's a
visible-policing thing.

In times of uncertainty,

people want to see their
police force on the ground.

They want to feel
safe in their beds.

But you're trying
not to be seen.

Yes. That's right.

That's why I'd rather not
chat, if that's all right with you.

That's fine.

Oh, right, there, Doc.

Hello.

A bit light on your
feet there, Doc.

Mm-hmm.

So, is that sweet Pauline...
She settling in okay?

- No.
- Oh, she's a lovely girl.

Dawn and I were in the
Weybridge water-polo team...

I mean, some years back now.

- £5.62, please, Doc.
- Thank you.

Dawn... that's her mother.

Uh, better have some
cash back. £30, please.

Oh, no, Doc. Sorry. We're
not accepting cards today.

Dawn is what you
might say very motivated.

Right. It was Eddie
Rix who was mugged.

Yeah, yeah. Horrible business.

Never been lucky... Eddie.

I was not mugged,
and you know me.

I should point out that Dawn is
very ambitious for her daughter.

Please don't point
a thing out, Bert.

This is completely illogical.

It's not, actually.

When Paul was 1 year old,
she threw her in the pool,

you know, trying to
make her swim early.

Would you explain it to me?

Oh, well, she sank
right to the bottom.

Not you. Her.

Apart from anything else,

what criminal with
even half a brain

would try and use that credit
card anywhere in Portwenn?

I don't know,

but I can guarantee you you
won't have any joy in my shop.

I can't imagine anybody
finding much joy in your shop.

Not if they want to
use a card, Doc, no,

because our card
machine is broken.

Right. Well, I'll just have
to pay you tomorrow.

Mr. and Mrs. Credit
have passed away.

Please don't mention
their name. It really hurts.

Right. Oh, and send
my love to Pauline.

I might drop up for
a cup of tea later on.

Just a minute! Hang on a second!

That's the way, Mrs.
S. You're doing just fine.

All right, Mum. It's all right.

What were you doing
headed out to sea, then?

Hold her. She's very weak.

Ohh.

She all right?

Let's find something
for her to wear!

Oh, no.

See if there's some trousers
or something and a towel!

I need to buy a battery.

Later, Mum. Let's
get you dried off, Mum.

I have to see Mr. Munkford...

Mr. Munkford is at the post
office, not out in the water.

For a PP3 battery.

Good God.

Please don't take the
Lord's name in vain.

Mrs. Steel.

Oh, you're not Mr. Munkford.

No, it's Martin
Ellingham, the doctor.

She's freezing.

Let's get her inside.
Up to the pub I think.

Can somebody fetch a blanket?

Muriel, what's
happened? Are you okay?

I need to buy a battery
for my smoke alarm.

Can we clear some space, please?

Everything's gonna
be taken care of.

Yes, Mrs. Steel, we'll
soon have you in the warm.

I'm soaked.

Here you go, Muriel.

A nice cup of tea
to warm you up.

I don't need warming
up. I'm not dead.

Muriel?

Oh, Mu, what have
you been doing?

Oh, what's it got
to do with you?

- Mu?
- She's dementing.

Nonsense.

I've done all I can.

Just try and make sure
she's not left unattended.

She's just old. We all
have our idiosyncrasies.

You of all people
should know that.

Auntie Joan, there
are idiosyncrasies,

and there's wading into the
sea to get to the post office.

Danny's on the phone seeing
if the home will still have her.

No! It'll kill her.

Martin, can't you do something?

It's all arranged. High
Trees will take her.

You can't do that. It
is her worst nightmare.

It's not a decision
I've taken lightly.

I've prayed long and
hard for her to get better,

but she hasn't.

And I can't look after
her. I'm in London.

- Well, I can look after her.
- No, you can't.

She needs round-the-clock care.

I'm glad you see that now.

I promised her

that she would not
have to go into a home.

Maybe it's for the best.

Right.

What are you doing?

Installing a scanner.

Don't touch that.

It's downloading
a software update.

Well, no, I download
my own software updates.

Fine.

It's not straightforward.

You have to back
everything up first.

Whatever. I did back up first.

I have done this
before, you know.

Really?

Worked in a surgery in Newlyn.

- Did you?
- Yeah.

Huh.

Well, uh...

No, I'm not happy with this.

Have you been taking
the medication I gave you?

My ankle.

She's due another dose.

I'll give her
something stronger.

Um, can you supervise
the medication?

I'll do my best.

I'll get a glass of water.

Oh, right.

She's quite bad, isn't she?

Yes, it does seem that way.

Well, I thought she
was all right on her own,

that she could cope.

I mean, I've popped in
almost every morning for years.

A gradual deterioration
is sometimes hard to spot.

Yes, or maybe it was there

and I just didn't
want to see it.

Oh.

Look at the state of her.

Inflammation in the elderly
can sometimes look alarming,

but it's not as bad as it seems.

Yes, but none of this
would have happened

if she'd have been here
in the first place, would it?

If you're so
concerned about her,

why weren't you watching her
when she walked into the sea?

This is not the place.

Who is he?

Excuse me?

Hey, you!

Hold it right there!

Oi. It's his wrist.

Oh, God!

Was it the mugger?

No, it was only me.

He was wearing a
hoodie in the lane.

I went to apprehend him.

Jumped me from behind.

I shouted, but he...

Didn't hear a thing. IPod.

- Sorry.
- No, I'm sorry, mate.

I mean, I don't know.
Just... Well, just instinct.

- I flipped him.
- You flipped him?

Yeah, landed on my hand.

Ohh. Shall we go in?

Oh, see you, Mark.
Well done, mate.

Oh, cheers, Dom.

Mark, I thought you
were going to the hospital.

I was, but Paul said you had
a PCT meeting at the hospital.

So, I thought I'd
keep you company.

Well, I've still got
patients to see.

Oh, I don't mind waiting.

Well, that meeting's
not till much later.

No problem.

Oh.

Having no girlfriend or
family, if I should need care,

who's gonna run me to
the hospital or whatnot?

That's why you have
to cherish your friends,

like old Mrs. S and
your Aunt Joan...

and you and me.

I can see us in old age, can't
you, looking in on each other?

Obviously, if you
should get a girlfriend,

that'd be fine, as well,

although I have to say I
admire you on that front, Doc.

You're not needy.

You don't pine for
the opposite sex.

Are you, uh...

No.

- Just a bit?
- No.

No problem if you
were. Still be friends.

That's possible.

Mark, shut up.

I know. Yeah.

Name?

Dr. Martin Ellingham.

I brought a patient in from
Portwenn with a sprained wrist.

Needs an X-ray.

I'd appreciate it if you'd
see him as soon as possible.

You'll have to wait for triage.

No, I won't. I've
already diagnosed him.

That's triage.

Yes, and that's what I've done.

That's not how it works.

- Oh! Hiya, Mark.
- Hi, there.

In the wars?

It's a jungle out there.

Mind yourself. Coming through.

Uh, excuse me.

Dr. Martin Ellingham, Portwenn.

Mr. Rix is a patient of mine.

Oh, yes.

Did the X-ray show anything?

- X-ray?
- His ribs.

Oh, that must have
been a separate trauma.

I had a look at his burns.

- Are you all right?
- What burns?

Oh. Excuse me.

Hey!

I thought it was best that we
keep this mix-up between us.

Best thing. Thanks.

Here, here, here.
You have a pint on me.

There you go.

Cheers.

Pauline?

What do you reckon? Good day?

No. I can't find a
patient's records.

They'll be there.

What's his name?

- Rix.
- Eddie.

Yeah.

Okay, you're looking
under "R," yeah?

Shall we start again
from the beginning?

First name... Edward, yeah?

So, we look under "E."

There. See?

No, Pauline, I can't have
patients' records filed

under their first name.

It was good enough in Newlyn.

Well, what sort of
surgery was it... a vet's?

Still a surgery.

Learned a lot there, actually.

Minor ops, splints and things.

Could have done that sprained
wrist for you... piece of piss.

There you go. Edward.

Well, did Mr. Rix bring
a letter from the hospital

regarding his ribs?

Don't think so.

Hmm. Perhaps it's
filed under "L" for "letter"

or "P" for "piece of paper."

They all go on.

Be careful. They're heavy, mind.

I know they're heavy. Unh!

- Easy.
- Unh!

It's all right. I'll get it.

You sure?

I said I'll get it! Aah!

Ohh. Ohh!

Oh, Eddie!

Ohh, Eddie!

Aah!

You all right, love?

Oh, my Lord!

I don't know what
happened, Doctor.

One minute he was moving
stuff around on the truck...

He has a cracked rib. He
shouldn't be moving anything.

He should be in bed.

- Excuse me, please.
- Sorry.

It's just we still have
to make a living.

- Sorry, Doc.
- Were you unconscious long?

Oh, just a few seconds, I think.

I'm all right now.

I'm just a bit woozy.

Let's have a look at this cut.

- Mrs. Rix...
- Gloria.

Yeah. Could you fetch
a drink of water, please?

I could fetch him
his flask of tea.

It's not for him. It's for me.

Oh, right, the blood.

I thought I told
you not to work.

And I told you I've got to.

Thanks, Doc.

Weren't you worried

that a mugger might
steal all your fish?

- What?
- I saw you in the hospital.

And I've been looking
at your records.

Seems you've had quite
a catalogue of injuries

in the last year or so.

Why didn't you tell me?

Is he gonna be all right, Doc?

Um, I'd like to see you
both in my surgery tomorrow.

There's a few things
I want to ask you.

- Doc, I can't just...
- Shut up.

Do as you're told.

Mr. Steel.

Dr. Ellingham, I'd
like to apologize.

What for?

For my anger.

Ah. Right.

How's your mother?

She's worse.

And the swelling
hasn't gone down.

Forgive me.

I called a friend in
London who is a G.P.,

and he says we should
have had her X-rayed.

Should we?

Have you been putting
weight on this ankle?

I'm going to write
to which magazine?

She hasn't been walking.

- Are you sure?
- Yes.

And you've been
giving her the diclofenac.

Twice a day.

Well, I don't understand why the
inflammation hasn't gone down.

Have the tablets I gave you

had any effect on
the pain, Mrs. Steel?

What?

Ugh.

Well, you have
been supervising her.

She's definitely taking them?

I bring her the glass of water.

Well, that's not enough, is it?

Can't make me drink.

She's supposed to take them.

I don't want to.

Mrs. Steel, these tablets
will help you with the pain

and the inflammation
in your ankle,

but you will have to take them.

If this medication
were more critical,

your negligence
could have been lethal.

I don't want to
go to High Trees.

Mum, you're already
at High Trees.

I don't drink at night.
Otherwise, you wet the bed

and they send you to
High Trees and I haven't!

I have not wet the bed!

Of course you haven't
wet the bed, Mum.

Let go of me!

Have you at least
seen her drink?

Mnh.

Have you seen her
drink anything at all?

Not as such.

I drink in the morning,
as I always do.

Shh.

Do you have any rehydration
salts in your medical cabinet?

I don't know.

A diarrhea preparation will do.

I think your mother's probably
been avoiding fluids at night

for quite some time.

What?

She's not drinking.

You heard her say she's
worried about wetting the bed.

Surely, she must be
drinking something.

Mnh.

In the mornings, Joan would
take her a cup of tea or two.

That would raise her fluids
temporarily, make her lucid.

- I found some.
- Oh, thank you.

She might not be
dementing at all.

Well, let's wait and see.

Mrs. Steel, I need
to see you drink this.

No.

Come on. Come on.

Come on, Mum. It'll help you.

All right, we need
to get a drip into her.

Don't worry, Mrs. Steel.

I think you're gonna feel
much better very soon.

Praise the Lord.

Hmm?

Good dog.

Don't do that.

What?

That, with that animal.

This is a doctor's
surgery. Get it out of here.

You're not an animal,
are you, lovey?

What's your name,
eh? What's his name?

It's not my dog.

Well, he has to have a
name. Have you wormed him?

No.

What about flea and tick?

- I can do that for you.
- No.

- Takes two minutes.
- Get out!

Get out!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Ah, Mr. Rix, Mrs.
Rix, follow me.

Mr. Rix, you've suffered
a significant number

of contusions and fractures
over the last couple of years.

Well, not that many.

I've counted 17.

Ah.

Do you have a problem
with balance, vision, hearing?

No.

Don't hear me when I
tell him to take the bin out.

Are you on any medication
you haven't told me about?

No.

Are you a drug user?

No!

What were the burns you
went to the hospital with?

- Bonfire.
- Cooking.

- Petrol.
- A hot fire.

Cooking on a bonfire.

Barbecue.

Have you always
been accident-prone?

- Yeah.
- No.

Mr. Rix, there's a
strong possibility

you have developed one of a
number of serious conditions

which would explain why
you keep injuring yourself.

Now, I've spoken to a
colleague at the hospital in Truro

and arranged for you
to jump several queues.

You're going to
have an ultrasound

of your carotid arteries

to determine whether
you've suffered

any transient ischemic attacks,

which would cause
temporary blackouts.

You're going to have an EEG to
record your brain-wave activity,

which would rule out epilepsy...

Or not, as the case may be.

But most importantly, you're
going to have an MRI scan,

which will show us

whether you have a primary
or a secondary brain tumor.

Maybe it's for the best.

Don't be stupid.

Yeah, no, she's right, Doc.

Um, there's no need
to go to all that fuss.

Mr. Rix, you don't
seem to understand.

If you have a brain
tumor and you do nothing,

you may well die.

Doc, you've been very kind.

It's very nice of you
to go to all this trouble.

Look, have some of my
smoked-mackerel paté.

We smoked the
mackerel ourselves.

Honest, Doc, we understand

and we'll think about
everything you said

and, um, we'll be in touch.

- There you go.
- Thank you.

All right, Doc.

Ah, Mark, how's your wrist?

Yeah, fine.

Everyone's making a fuss of me,
which is unnecessary, of course.

All in the line of duty.

Look.

I was touched by that.

But you didn't actually
confront a mugger, did you?

Technically, no, that's right.

Well, not
"technically." Actually.

You say that, Doc, but that's
only one way of looking at it.

Another way of looking at it

is I didn't know Al
wasn't the mugger, did I?

So, I did confront
him, didn't I?

Anyway, the public
likes to think the police

are making progress
on sensitive issues.

It makes them feel safe.

That's better than
knowing the truth, is it?

I don't think folk
want to hear our friend

hasn't even been sighted.

The truth is there is no mugger.

- How's that?
- Well, I know that.

I can't tell you
how I know that.

Patient confidentiality.
But I do know that.

So...

I sprained my wrist for nothing.

Yeah.

But everybody signed my card.

Lucy Holmes.

There's Rick, Bert, and Al.

Lou and Dan. That's a
blast from the past, those two.

There's young Peter Cronk.

Embarrassing now.

- Lou and Dan, is that...
- Yeah, Louisa and Danny.

He used to bring out the
old green-eyed monster in me

in the old days,
I have to admit.

You know, when I
thought Louisa was the one.

Right.

Martin!

Martin!

Oh, Mu is back to her old self.

- Pretty annoying, then.
- Vile.

Mm. Good.

"Good"? She's fighting fit!

I'm very proud of you.

I'll drop in and
see her tomorrow.

No, we're going to fetch her.

At 3:00, she's coming home.

Yeah, I can't
remember the last time

I had a conversation
with her like today.

It's like she's back
from the beyond.

- So, thank you.
- Mm.

Do you know Lou... Lou Glasson?

- Yeah.
- Yes.

Of course. You forget.
Everyone knows everyone else.

Martin.

Lou.

We're going for a
drink... Celebrate.

Well, enjoy your evening.

Bless you.

I didn't sneeze.

What did she tell you yesterday?

Nothing, really.
Called on the phone.

She was on the phone?

She said he's too shy.

He's always waiting for
the girl to make the move

'cause he's always
waiting for permission,

and when you give him
permission, he messes up.

She said it's... it's pathetic.

Yeah, well, I suppose I can see

why she went back
to her old boyfriend.

- Morning, Doc.
- Morning, Doc.

Morning. Morning.

Well, thanks for
telling me that, Pauline.

She was pretty blunt.

Yeah, well, you know Elaine.

Right.

She said you had a nice bum.

- Al?
- Yeah?

She was right.

Thanks.

Portwenn Surgery.

Doc?

Phone call.

Uh, Pauline?

I gather your cousin's
not coming back.

Um, no.

Right, well, I want to be clear.
I'm going to advertise her job.

Yeah, good, good,

'cause I was gonna say, you
know, I can't cover forever.

Well, you know...

This phone call, it's
urgent. It's Mrs. Rix.

Thank you for coming, Doctor.

We're so sorry to
have troubled you.

Another accident.

Now do you see the need
for proper investigation?

He's upstairs.

Um...

Mrs. Rix, could
you switch a light on

or open the curtains, please?

Oh, dear.

We'd appreciate
your discretion, Doctor.

What have you done to him?

Well, I was hoisting him
up, and something gave.

Don't say anything, Doc.

The boys down at the
harbor, I'd never live it down.

- Is this consenting?
- Huh?

Consenting?

He loves it.

My shoulder!

Um, yes, sorry.

- Uh, which one?
- Right.

Okay. Can you move it?

No.

Aah.

This hurt?

Ow! Ooh, ooh, ooh.

It's your trapezius muscle.

I'll give you an
injection of diazepam.

- All the injuries?
- Yeah.

- And the burns, as well?
- Mm.

Oh, apart from down on the
harbor. That was just a fall.

Why didn't you tell me?

I'm sorry, Doc.

You've got to be more careful.

Well, it's just sometimes, you
know, in the heat of the moment,

Eddie forgets his safe word.

Don't tell him that!

Oh, it's all right,
sausage. He's a doctor.

Oh, I should explain.

No, you don't have to.

Well, we've been married
a long time, you see.

And when our boys left
home, we needed a bit of spark.

So, you... you don't
like injections, do you?

- No.
- Good.

Ow!

And then, by
chance, we found this.

Opened up a whole new world.

Now there's a spark.

Oh, Martin.

Oh, you look much better.

Well, I suppose you think
you're the bee's knees.

No, I don't.

Let's see your ankle.

Oh, the swelling's gone
down considerably. Good.

Prescribe a glass of water,

and, suddenly, you're
the cat's whiskers.

Can I ask you some questions?

- What for?
- Just routine.

Uh, if I had £100
and I spent £7,

how much would I have left?

It's Wednesday.

It's 3:15 in the afternoon,

and Labour is in its
third term of power

and still hasn't done
anything for the elderly.

We're in High Trees,
home for old codgers,

near Portwenn in Cornwall,

and you would have £93 left,

which these days, Little
Marty, wouldn't get you much.

Right.

Right. Ready, then.

I'll put your
suitcase in the car.

Yes, unless...

What?

Unless you could see
about me staying on.

Yeah, well, I... I know.

I was terrified of coming here,

and then, well...
Well, look at it.

I can't think what
I was scared of,

and more to the point, I
didn't know what I was missing.

Well, I... I could ask.

Then ask.

You're sure?

No.

No, there's a lot of
flatulence in the ranks,

and if that gets too bad,
I can change my mind.

But in the meantime,
yes, I think I am sure.

Well, I'll talk to the manager.

Well...

Well, what am I going to do at
half past 8:00 every morning?

You've got a farm to run.

Muriel?

Do you want a go?

Good God.

Please don't take
His name in vain.

Oh, Martin.

I think I know why she was
so terrified of coming here.

Why?

Well, because I was so
ridiculously frightened for her.

Is that because
you're getting old, too?

Well, I wouldn't have
put it quite so bluntly.

Huh.

All right, do you want a lift?

No, no, no, I'm fine on my own.

All right.

Ohh!

- Sorry.
- I'm terribly sorry.

No. It's okay. I'm...

There. Right.

- Thank you.
- Expensive wine.

Yes, I fancied it. I mean,
I fancy an old friend.

I mean, I'm having an old
friend over for dinner tonight.

So, well, you know...

- Louisa...
- Come on, you.

- Doc.
- Danny.

I could eat a horse. Come on.

Right. Night.

Night, then.

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