Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (2016–2017): Season 1, Episode 3 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts - full transcript

Ah, hello, brothers.

I like the new jumpsuits.

Very fascist.

I dig that.

What happened here, Rainey?

Looks like a homicide.

You call me by the name
of my first shell, Pollux.

Is that meant
to give you power over me?

I was given an order
to come down to this shit hole at 2:00 A.M.

I'm one of the original souls,

and you do not tell me what to do



like I'm some kind of drone
we found on the street.

Are we not all equals?

- Simply energy--
- That's big words

from a guy who calls himself
"The Supreme Soul," hmm?

At least as Lux DuJour,

I try to do something.

I try to create something.

How many bodies have you been in

in the last 10 years,
huh, Rainey,

50? Hmm?

What am I doing here?

What's this all about?

- Who are these people?
- Your energy is being redesignated.

We found a new location for our temple.



This body is the key.

Say hello to your new vessel,
Gordon Rimmer.

Redesignated?

You can't do that.

It's what's best for our cause.

"Cause..."

Right.

You know, it's been decades,

and if you really cared
about our great cause,

you would have found Edgar Spring's
other machine years ago.

You've become addicted
to this body, to this life.

You can't do this to me.

You can't swap me out against my will
into some fat piece of shit!

I'm a rock star!

Supreme Soul, please,
I'm making a new album.

You can't do this to me!

I'm a rock star!

I'm a rock star!

I'm a rock star...

I'm a rock star...

I have mace.

Holy shit.

You're Lydia Spring.

Are you the one
that wrote this letter?

I am.

Do you really have answers?

I do.

Who is Zackariah Webb,

and what was
his connection to my family?

What happened to my grandfather?

Who killed my mother?

Zackariah Webb, I don't know,

but I do know
what happened to your mother,

and I know why your father is so afraid.

Unbelievable.

Why don't you... come inside?

It's cold.

Do you like Lux DuJour?

Who the hell is Lux DuJour?

Ouch.

Take me to the house.

Why are you hiding behind that bush?

Because we're the ones
who burned the house down.

Yeah, but they don't know that.

My clothes look good on you.

Okay.

Thanks.

Listen, um...

I haven't had the chance to...

You know...

at the bridge?

With the dog?

You...

That was brave of you.

I guess you...

saved me.

So...

Cool.

So why did you burn down
this house again?

Well, um...

You said the guys who kidnapped me
thought you killed Patrick Spring?

Correct. Absolutely no one
has any idea what's going on.

I spoke to the police at the scene.

What did they say?

"Go away."

Well, you're a detective.

You've been gathering information.

What have you found so far?

Well...

I gave the bad guys my phone number.

You... gave them your phone number?

In self-defense--

- Give me your phone now.
- Wait, what are you doing?

No, no, no, that's a bad idea.

Oh.

Oh... Okay.

Hello.

Where is Lydia Spring?

Do you have the other machine?

- What other machine?
- That's the wrong answer.

Where is Lydia!

Lydia's gone.

What do we need to do to get her back?

We're gonna find you, Miss Black.

You do not want to find me.

Your boss had something
that we need,

and before he died,

he was gonna hand it over
like a good little idiot,

but now it's on you!

This is your last chance.
Surrender Lydia Spring.

I'll see you real soon.

Uh, yes,
what did they say, exactly?

That Lydia's... gone.

I need to go back to the Spring Estate.

Are you sure that's--

All my things are there.
My clothes. My guns--

- You look good.
- No more guns!

- We'll go with you.
- Okay, enough. Enough! I'm done.

I check out. I check out of this!

Hey, listen, wait,
hold on a moment.

- What?
- Are you...

mad at me?

Am I "mad at you"?

Y-- N--

I don't know.
I-I don't know what I am, "at you."

Good.

See you soon, Todd.

But...

So...

Farah--

The bullet.

That hit the man
keeping me prisoner,

it was military.

Punched clean through the floor,

high terminal velocity, 7.62.

I thought you said

the landlord shot at you with a pistol?

He did.

So then how's the military involved?

- Colonel Riggins, sir.
- Good day, Corporal Friedkin.

We're prepping for direct contact
with a former Black Wing subject.

Sir, yes, sir.

What is Black Wing, sir?

It's what we are.
It's who I am.

Did you...

not read the file?

File, sir?

- Yes.
- Yes?

In 1988,

the Central Intelligence Agency
assigned me as Operations Chief

of a division of my own creation.

This division was given
the code name "Black Wing."

Black Wing had one mission,

to seek out, codify,
and collect individuals

with sensory-perceptive abilities
beyond the normal human scale.

So, like, fat people?

What?

Fat people who were big
on the scale, sir?

N-no. Not...

Fat people?

What--

Files. Yes.

- Seatbelt.
- Yes.

Cheer up.

Jesus... Why?

Because.

You know, we were having fun.

You were talking to me about stuff.

You know, you were asking
me questions and stuff?

You know, it was good.

Yeah,

and then you killed that guy.

Potato potato.

You're supposed to say
it like "potato po-tah-to."

What the hell is a "po-tah-to"?

Oh, man... really?

Do you know this song?

Yes, of course.

How? Like... like
you've heard it before?

Yes.

Do you know the words
of the song he's gonna sing?

How?

Do they play the same song on the radio
more than once?

Yes.

How could you possibly not know that?

I don't...

I don't know who the people
on the radio are.

I never met them.

I don't know where
they're singing from.

They're not singing anywhere.
It's a recording.

Oh...

- Oh, now you're laughing.
- No, I'm not laughing.

Sing one of the--
Sing it.

Why?

To prove you know it.

I mean, I don't know
the words of songs and stuff,

but then I turn on the radio,

and you know the words of the songs
he's going to sing... you know?

It's kind of unbelievable.

...It was meant to be

I don't care--

Who you are

Where you're from

Don't care what you did--

As long as you love me

How do you remember that stuff?

Where you're from

Don't care what you did

Hey, it's Todd. Leave a message.

Hey, Todd, I'm outside,
so there's that.

I've been thinking
about what Dirk said

about me being
in the house all the time,

and he's right.

Maybe if I'm, like, out of food,
I can go get my own.

It's gonna suck either way,
so what am I afraid of?

I'm going to the grocery store,
so you know.

What an adventure.

You are not gonna believe this.

Hey.

- Is that the dog?
- It's the dog from the tape.

The dog from the tape.

The dog from the tape
from the hotel.

Dog from the tape
from the hotel...

Where was it?

Literally outside,

barking at uniforms
on their way in--

The dog from the tape from the hotel
walked into this police station?

This appears to be the situation.
It gets weirder.

I checked the address on the tag.

The place burned down yesterday.

Burned down...
Like, got burnt down?

That's what they're saying.

Missing.

- Uh...
- Persons.

Visitor for Missing Persons,
says his name is Todd Brotzman?

Our friend, Todd.

From the hotel.

And the dog from the tape,

from the hotel,

arriving simultaneously.

- That's not a coincidence.
- Not a coincidence.

- Too many coincidences.
- Too many coincidences.

Hide the dog.

Fantastic!
It's bloody huge.

Is that a horse barn?

Rhino barn, actually.

Patrick loved animals.

In the '90s, he had a pet rhino named "Pepe."

Did you know Pepe?

I did.

My father was Patrick's
old chief of security.

I spent a lot of time here.
It's actually a historic landmark,

built in the 1880s for an inventor
named Zackariah Webb.

But he disappeared,

so the place fell into disrepair.

By the '70s,
squatters were living here.

But Patrick bought it back
from the government in the mid-'90s,

just before what
happened to his wife.

What happened to his wife?

She died.

Miss Black!

Good to see you, John.

I thought I heard someone drive in.

Who's this again?

John Dollow. He's--

was Patrick's Lawyer.
You've never met him.

Yes, he seems like
someone I've never met.

John Dollow, this is Dirk Gently.

Ooh, isn't that, um...

interesting.

I get that a lot.

Well, uh,

take a moment,
then come and find me.

I'll be in Mr. Spring's office.

I have something for you.

You said you saw Lydia.

Yes. Yes, I saw her.

She was acting... odd,
but I saw her,

and I-I don't know
if they killed Patrick Spring,

but those weird guys are dangerous.

These are the men who you
traded the dog with for Farah Black?

Yes, yes, the same guys.

They were involved,

and I'm not...

I-I'm realizing
I don't actually the details, but...

it's all connected, right?

Do you know of a band
called The Mexican Funeral?

Yeah, that was my band.

Four years ago,
they filed a police report,

saying that their
equipment had been stolen.

Your name is on the report.
$4,000 worth of gear.

Stolen.

But it wasn't stolen, was it, Todd?

Okay, look, I-I didn't--

You sold your band's gear
without telling them,

and then reported it stolen.

Kind of a rotten thing to do, huh?

I was going through a rough time.

We know that, too.

Something to do with a medical condition.

- You know about that?
- We know about a lot of things.

- We called your parents.
- Wait, you called my parents?

- We're the police, Todd.
- We investigate shit--

That's what we do.

You're investigating me?

We told you before, Todd,

you're what we like to call
"a person of interest."

Who's getting more and more
interesting all the time.

Your parents told us
you have this medical condition,

runs in the family,
your sister now has it, too.

"Pararibulitus." Very rare.

- We're looking into it.
- A lot of real interesting stuff.

Okay, okay, what does
this have to do with

what's happening right now?

I-I came here to try to help.

Are you accusing me of something?

Is there something
we should be accusing you of?

Well, let's see.

Well, there's the house,
the address you gave us...

It burned down yesterday.

- And they're not ruling out arson.
- You said you were there.

That puts you at-- no, no,
let me see, what is it--

- Three?
- Three.

Three, total, crime scenes.

And don't think we don't know

about you taking the money
back from your landlord, bud.

The one who is now dead.

We know about that...

Oh, we know about that.

I made it.

What?

I made it.

Good.

No, no, no, no...

Miss?
Are you okay?

Mr. Brotzman?

You are becoming
a very compelling figure,

almost as interesting
as your detective buddy.

The one with the friends
in all the high places.

Amanda?

Todd! I messed up.

Will you please help me?
I messed up!

- Where are you?
- Help!

Amanda, what are you--

Amanda!

Can I... go?

That was my sister.
She needs me to pick her up.

Sure.

You're here voluntarily. Right?

Right.

Ooh, that kid's guilty.

Yeah, but of what?

Check out the whack-job.

This shit is hilarious.

No! No! No! Now!

- What the hell--
- What the hell?

To the bleachers!

I don't like him.

I got a bone to pick!

Boys.

You're not supposed to be here.

Ladies and gentlemen, Lux DuJour!

I'm just doing my job.

Whoa.

Help me!

Help me!

Bart!

- Is that you?
- Yeah, probably.

Hey, can't you
get us down from here?

You know, with your thing?

What thing?

You know, your...

flow of the universe thing.

I thought you didn't believe in that.

You know, it's funny, I knew.
I knew I'd die in some...

oh, some weird way, eventually.

You know, for a pretty scared guy,

you sure do hang around
with some dangerous types.

You kidnapped me!

I meant before that.

Yeah, well...

Eventually, I thought,
I'd get a real job, but...

you get a payday
from one bad guy,

you get a payday
from another bad guy.

- Hey, Ken...
- Yeah?

You should know,
when they come back,

either you're gonna die,
or I'm gonna kill all them.

Or you're gonna die,
and then I'm gonna kill all them.

Or I'm gonna kill some of them,
and then you get killed,

and then I kill the rest.

No matter what happens,

I want you to know that

that's the way it's meant to be.

W-what about you, Bart,

- you'll be fine no matter what?
- Yeah.

I don't get hurt.

I do think
I'm gonna miss you, though.

Help me!

I've been going through
Mr. Spring's effects,

and executing his final wishes
according to his last will and testament.

He left this for you.

What's interesting is that
his instructions were

not to give it to you unless you were
in the presence of someone named...

Dirk Gently.

Well, it's lucky I'm here then.

Oh, I doubt very much
it's got to do with luck.

Patrick Spring rarely left
anything of importance to chance.

When Patrick had me track you down,

he knew.

He knew he was going to die.

Do you know,
I'm beginning to think

he didn't hire me
to prevent his murder at all.

I think he hired me to solve it.

Hmm...

"Three questions, one answer."

What does that mean?

Perhaps we should give
the young lady a moment.

Get it together.

Get. It. Together--

What are you looking at?

What? I thought...

...you were outside.

Why would I leave the room?
All the good stuff is happening in here.

Were you and Patrick...

close?

I've known him my entire life.

When Catherine was killed,
my dad never recovered,

and Patrick gave my life
a lot of purpose,

if that makes any sense,
and I don't...

In three days, everything
just suddenly went crazy,

and I screwed it all up again!

Patrick's dead, Lydia's gone.
I feel like a...

...crazy confused failure

talking to a Brit who keeps asking
me questions that don't make sense!

I am...

I am ineffectual,
and a generalized scramble

of disappointment
and incompetence, I--

No, no, listen...

You're only some of those things.

Okay... I need to go find Lydia--

No, we can't leave, not yet.

Why?

Do you know something?

I don't know anything.

Ever.
It's really quite relaxing.

But this is what I do,
this is how I work.

I follow fate around.

It's how we found you.

I can't promise anything, but just...

give it a chance?

Well, what do you want to do?

I would start by
opening that envelope.

"You."

This doesn't look anything like you.
He's got the hair all wrong--

Um...

Farah?

What are you...

No, where are you--

Oh, it's a map...

It's a map! I get it!

God!

Jesus Christ...

Oh, thank God, you're okay.

I just went shopping, it's okay, it's okay.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you.

Everything's okay,

I just-- I had a little flare-up, but...

- I made it home in one piece.
- Okay.

Why are you so out of breath?

How did you get here?
I thought that your car was all beat up.

I ran,
and then I took the bus,

and then I ran some more.

God, I was so worried.

Phew!

Where's Dirk?

"Where's Dirk?"

Yeah, I just, I have
to ask him about some stuff,

'cause some stuff happened.

You want to ask Dirk Gently
about some stuff?

I mean, isn't he the reason
that all this weird stuff is happening?

What weird stuff?

Everything.

Look, he doesn't know anything.

The amount of stuff that
he doesn't know is stupefying.

It would blow your mind.

Okay, but...
isn't that how he works?

Like, as a detective?

- He is barely a detective.
- Okay...

then why are you his assistant?

I'm not--

There's something
that you're not telling me.

Is there, like,

a lot of stuff
that you're not telling me?

No. I... No, there's just--

Look, I think maybe it's a good idea
if you came to stay with me.

You want me to leave the house?

You did already today,
and it was fine, right?

No, it wasn't fine.

Well... it was...

almost...

not fine.

Don't you remember
what this was like?

I-I'll call a cab.

I used to take cabs all the time
when I still had attacks.

You'll stay with me.

It'll be great, I promise.

Or here...

Farah, I think if we--

Farah?

I-I've got it, I've got it,
I've got an idea, I've got an idea.

Sorry, got it wrong.

It's down here.

It's definitely this way!

That didn't work.

This is it.

Um...

Okay, you're a bit
ahead of me now on this one.

What, laundry?

Maybe it's...

Ah-hah.

Nope, not in there.

What are we looking for?
Do you know?

It's a wall.

Was there something about this wall
that was special to him?

Did he enjoy walls?

Did he ever mention a love for walls?

Because that could be a clue.

Perhaps the person or people
who killed Patrick Spring

were rogue wall-enthusiasts.

Ah!

You hate these walls!

Give me the map.

Oh... what is this place?

This room was built
into the foundation of the house.

It's been here since day one.

Patrick Spring didn't build this,
Zackariah Webb did.

What's that big... electro... thingy?

Some kind of generator.

But this doesn't make any sense.

Patrick didn't know anything
about technology.

Oh.

How... did you do that?

With my hand.

What's this?

"Edgar Spring."
Who's that?

Patrick's father.
But this is Patrick's handwriting.

"It started here. It ends here.
Please save her."

What is this thing?

Very important.

"Please save her."

"Please save her."
"Save her..."

Save her.

He must be talking about Lydia.

He planned this.

All of it.

But...

if Patrick knew this
was going to happen, then...

why didn't he save himself?

Dirk?

I'm starting to think you're actually
a pretty good detective.

- Bart...
- Yeah?

- Bart. Bart!
- Ken?

Please do something!
Do anything!

Something, please!

It doesn't work like that.

Why? What?

Oh, my God.

These are the ones that killed Jake?

They don't look like professional hires.

- Ken, is that a new guy?
- Who sent you?

The Cavatos?

I don't know who the Cavatos are.

Okay, she's crazy, all right?
She killed him, not me.

I mean, I'm just here.

She killed him.
She's the one, man--

This is just noise.

I don't care.

You're gonna burn.

Ken!
That the new guy, who just arrived?

That's who we're waiting for.

Listen, please!
Just get me down.

I'm not the guy you want.

She is, okay?

- This'll shut him up.
- Do something--

No!

Put some clothes on.

You knew this was going to happen.

Well, not this,
but something like this, sure.

It's real, isn't it?

It's all real.

You really are
who you say you are.

Some kind of...

- killer angel.
- Angel?

I really am what I say I am.

I'm with you for a reason.

My life is...

is happening for a reason.

Maybe, yeah.

We have to find Dirk Gently.

We need to kill Dirk Gently.

You drive.

This is fun!

See? That wasn't so bad, right?

What happened to your lock?

Oh, my God--
What happened to your apartment?

- Uh, well, it-

- Some kind of semiconductor.
- Semiconductor?

Oh, God.

Hey, Dirk!

Oh, hi, Amanda!
Look, it's Amanda.

- Amanda's fantastic.
- You're fantastic.

Is this part of the case?

- Yes, but--
- Dirk, why are you here?

- We were waiting for you.
- Hey, Todd.

Oh, hi, Farah.

What is this?

We don't know. We think it's
some sort of schematic or something.

Dirk, this is my apartment.

Oh, is that why you're here?

It's a map.

It's another map.
A map lead us to a map!

It's not a map.

It's one of those layers on maps

that you can see on
city government websites

that show you utilities.

City government?

- I don't get out that much.
- Me neither.

This is an electrical grid, see?

And those are power lines.

Oh, cool!
No, this is really crazy.

Oh my God, she's right.

Look, those are where
the roads would be,

and that's the Ridgely.
That's this building.

I'm Farah.

I'm Amanda.

Cool jacket.

It's all happening.

Oh, for godsakes...

Oh!

Will you stop following me?

I was just going down to get
the magic lightbulb from my car.

Magic lightbulb!

Look, what did I tell you--

Just, Dirk, will you just
get out of my apartment.

I told you it would bend back
around to you, and now it has!

Give me a second.

We're meant to know each other.

Now, I'm sick
of having this conversation!

There's a map in there

with your bloody building
right at the center of it.

I want your help.

This neighborhood...

the one we're in right now,

it's called Springsborough.

Like...

Like Edgar Spring.

That was Patrick Spring's father, right?

Springsborough.

It's not a coincidence, is it?

No.

I'm certain we'll find that it's not.

You knew this was going to happen.

Not this, but...

something like this, yes.

It's real, isn't it?

It's all real.

You really are
what you say you are,

some kind of... holistic detective.

I'm trying.

Is this enough proof?

Will you help me?

Hello, Project Icarus.

No.

- Leave me alone.
- Svlad, we need to talk.

- That's not my name anymore.
- "Dirk," then.

I said, leave me alone--

Friedkin!

Friedkin, goddamn it, get off of him!

He was escaping.

You release him now, soldier,
that's an order!

Is this what you do now?
You just attack people?

Sorry, sir, I got confused.

He seems like a winner.

- Dirk, listen to me.
- Why, do you have new lies to tell me?

We need you to come back in,
for debriefing.

Yes, why not, it's only been 16 years.

Black Wing is under review.

That's why we bailed you out
when the police brought you in.

- It's the least you can do--
- The least I could do?

This is in your best interest,

You promised them something
and you couldn't deliver.

You promised me something,
and you couldn't deliver.

Dirk, I am not the enemy here.

And you're not a detective.

You're going to get
yourself hurt, or killed,

- if you keep--
- I am on a case!

I have friends!

And-and we found clues.

We're going to solve a mystery,
a real one!

And some people think
I'm a pretty good detective!

I'm trying to protect you.
I don't know what they'll do.

I don't care.

I don't need you.

Go back to hiding in the shadows.

It was the only thing
you were ever good at.

- Do you want me to go get him?
- No.

Not now.

We'll try another angle.

You'll get them, sir.
All of them.

We have to.

Just here right now.

I'll get it going, and then I'll...

Doesn't look like anyone else has
been here since we were here.

There's a ton of bodies to clean up,
but everything still works.

Bring him here.

And bring a mouse.

...Cooler temperatures arrive after that,

47 for a high on Tuesday.

And now a surprising update

on the body discovered
at the scene of the arson

in Logan Heights this morning.

We now have information
that the body has been identified

- as that of Robert Wayne Terrio--
- Shut up.

--better known to the public
as beloved 1980s rock icon Lux DuJour,

who went missing
nearly two decades ago.

How DuJour came
to be buried under the garage

- of a single-bedroom house--
- Shut up! Shut up!

Shut up!

No! No! No! No! No! No!

Oh, my God...

It's not your fault,
it's not your fault,

it's not your fault, I'm sorry...

Sorry...